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blkkizzat · 1 month ago

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🗂️—𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝟶𝟶𝟹........... THE CULT LEADER ......filed under the that's not my jjk man series

visitor log: you shouldn't have even been watching the gate bunny, that's much too hard for you! so when you inevitably fuck up, your cult leader boyfriend—geto suguru—has the perfect punishment planned for you and your pretty pussy wait..in front of his entire congregation tho!? classifications: dumb bimbo!reader, canonverse of nerd!geto's bunny!reader, cult rhetoric, dark themes, sensory deprivation/amaurophilia, punishment, humiliation, shibari, edging, overstim, exhibitionism, toxic jealousy, possessiveness, yandere Suguru, drugged sex, cnc/free-use reader, mentions of orgies/group sex and a bit of forced breeding. incidents: 5.8k

“Nuh-uh, nope you gotta be a fake!”

Suguru sighed, irritation brewing beneath his calm exterior. If he didn’t convince you he was the real deal soon, he’d be late to his weekly midnight mass—a gathering of his most devoted (and wealthiest) followers he couldn’t afford to miss.

Be that as it may, he still tries to be patient with you—his Bunny.

Ever since the doppelgängers started appearing, you’ve been a bundle of nerves, and Suguru knows you’re spiraling right now—he’s had to talk you down more times than he can count over the past few weeks. You’ve been worrying nonstop about something happening to him, Mimiko, or Nanako, even though they all possess far more cursed energy than you.

If anything, it’s you who should be worried about yourself.

Holding the barrier around the entire compound is already draining your very limited cursed energy, and it’s taking a visible toll—your fatigue evident in your wavering stance as well as the sweat beading on your brow.

Suguru, noticing this, shows a bit more patience—especially since he returned a day earlier than expected and, most conveniently, no one else is around to witness him being made a fool. Something that would be more likely now that his following had grown significantly during this doppelgänger-induced quarantine, demanding more of his attention by the day.

“Come now, Bunny, let’s rationali—”

“Nope! No way! you can’t trick me! Besides, if you were the real Suguru, you could just break the barrier by now! I’m not stupid like you, ya dumb doppel!”

Not stupid?

Suguru would hate to have to tell you the truth to your face and upset his pretty lil’ bunny but, you were in fact, pretty ditzy—his current predicament a testament to that. Pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers, Suguru is almost at his limit with you.

But he couldn’t just break the barrier himself.

Of course, ability not being an issue—he could easily do it. The problem is at this hour, breaking the barrier would trigger alarms throughout the compound, both cursed and physical, throwing cursed users and followers alike into a frenzy.

It simply wasn’t worth the trouble.

Shaking his head, Suguru tries a different tactic with you.

“Bunny, please—just go fetch Nanako and Mimiko. Bring them here to sort this out, alright? Can you manage that for me?”

A contemplative expression appears on your face, as if you were seriously mulling over the ramifications of his very simple request—a reaction he knew didn’t bode well for him.

“Hmm… nah!”

Frustrated, the cracks in Suguru’s patience with you begin to show.

“And just why the hell not, Bunny?”

Surguru’s grits his teeth, brow twitching, attempting to maintain his cool as you look at him like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“They’re already in bed! They still have school tomorrow—even if it's virtual! I’m not waking them up just so they can see a doppel version of you! It might scare them.”

Rolling his eyes, Suguru blames himself really.

Since joining his cause you’ve spent more time bent over his desk, the plush round curves of your backside glistening with his cum that is painted liberally across your skin, than you’ve spent looking him in the face.

But his weakness of being partial to the bounce back jiggle of your fat ass was now thoroughly biting him on his own—especially as you insist the problem is that his ear gauges are too big. Something Suguru couldn’t even be too upset about as after all, he had gone up a size recently, so you weren’t exactly wrong.

Still, he hadn’t expected you of all people to be perceptive enough to notice, so he now regrettably never bothered mentioning it.

Suguru knew he’d have to come up with another way to convince you. At the same time, he vowed to kill whoever had been slacking on their job and put you at the gate. Tasks like these weren’t suited for you—though, to be fair, most tasks weren’t.

That’s why other than his personal fleshlight, when your sinful lil’ pussy wasn’t getting private spiritual guidance from his cock, you spent your time behind the front desk of reception. The perfect decorative bait for the followers flocking to his temple for refuge from the doppel crisis. Your beauty along with your bright cheery demeanor did just the trick to lure in those distraught and perverted monkeys into his cult, whose wallets he could exploit until they were no longer of use to him.

Suguru takes out his phone, calling the twins himself but neither Nanako nor Mimiko answer. He considers calling someone else—literally anyone—but he knows they’re all gathered in the main hall by now, without their phones, as most electronics are strictly forbidden outside the dormitories.

As a last-ditch effort, Suguru scrolls through his texts to show you the lewd photo you sent him earlier that same day—the racy upskirt of you with 2 of your manicured fingers wedged into your tight sloppy cunt while stationed at the front desk accompanied by the ‘miss u daddy’ text.

“Oh woooow! Dopplegangers can clone iclouds too!? Y’all are really good!”

Oh for the love of…

At his wits end, Suguru thinks he might actually have to whip his dick out in the middle of the courtyard—your slutty ass would surely recognize that if nothing else.

Yet saving him the indignity, suddenly, a bright camera flash materializes behind you catching both of your attention.

“Nanako, this isn’t our room!”

Nanako and Mimiko?!

“Shhh—Shut it! Do you know how hard it was to get inside the barrier, at all?! Urgh I feel queasy now…Plus, I can’t concentrate because my feet hurt so bad from these heels. There was nowhere to sit in that club! Let’s just get back to our rooms before Geto-sama notices we—”

Yet realizing their predicament sooner, Mimiko’s eyes nearly pop out of her skull as she rapidly taps Nanako’s shoulder, who whirls around to see a now-visibly pissed off Suguru.

“—Oh shii—Geto-sama…?”

Not only did he have to deal with his airheaded Bunny failing to recognize him, but also with two teenagers under his care sneaking out to god knows where, to do god knows what, with god knows whom.

All during a doppelgänger crisis.

Both were dressed in outfits far too revealing and mature for them, outfits Suguru figured they must have pilfered from your closet—since he would never have bought them anything like that in a million years, even if they were old enough to wear it. But Suguru would have to wait until tomorrow morning to have a good stern talk with them—right now he needs their help lest you leave him out here all night.

“Girls, please. I am in need of your assistance. Don’t fret, neither of you are the one that’s in trouble right now.”

Suguru’s piercing glare startles you, his oppressing cursed energy sending familiar tingles down your spine and for the first time that night you begin to wonder if you had actually messed up.

Oh yes, Bunny, you had fucked up—big time.

Failing to recognize him and letting the twins sneak out under your nose was a serious mistake and you need to be corrected.

Thankfully, Cult Leader Suguru knows exactly how to punish you and in a way that would further his own purposes too.

ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩

Lounging casually and only dressed in a thin white kosode, his priest robes discarded, Suguru gazes out at the sea of his gathered followers.

His irritation mounting as he awaits your arrival.

What could possibly be delaying you?

He had given strict orders for you to change and meet him in the main hall, where he intended to deliver your punishment.

Punishments from Suguru weren’t something you were unfamiliar with. He often finds himself frustrated with you and in need to relieve his tension, using your snug lil pussy as he sees fit.

But the urges the bubbling anxiety he felt at the moment to lock you away, keeping you hidden where no one else could ever lay eyes on you, wasn’t about punishment.

No, the crux of it being, at his core, Suguru was a fiercely jealous man.

He wanted you all to himself, tucked in a delicate, untouchable box, far from the gaze of a world unworthy of what belongs to him.

But Suguru keeps that possessiveness well-hidden, just like all his other flaws.

Geto Suguru, the cult leader, always radiated an air of calm benevolence, a true messiah in their eyes. It earned him their unwavering devotion, even though they knew of his cruelty his followers justified it every time—convincing themselves that any punishment he inflicted was well deserved.

This rationalization, along with his suppression of personal desires, all stemmed from the unwavering commitment to his utilitarian views of the Jujutsu world.

Suguru knows he must set aside his own wants for the greater good of his cause. He had already made the ultimate sacrifices when he killed his parents and excommunicated himself from the rest—including the only other person to have ever known the true him—and he had no intention of stopping now.

That’s right, it was all for his cause and his cause is the sole reason a vehemently covetous man like Geto Suguru is about to fuck you in front of his entire congregation.

The heavy doors of the large meeting hall ceremoniously reopen and you are brought before him blindfolded and dressed in a similar matching kosode.

The wispy fabric only lightly touches your skin, offering little protection from the drafty air that seeps through as you are guided up the steps to the stage.

Yet little do you know the blindfold is completely unnecessary.

No one else in the packed auditorium wears one, but Suguru self-indulges in this one thing with the reasoning that— ‘If you couldn’t trust your eyes to recognize him, then he will have to train your body to recognize his voice and touch alone.’

Once you’re placed in your designated position—on a smaller altar set upon the elevated stage—your retainers swiftly retreat, leaving you standing alone.

Facing Suguru, with your side turned toward the audience, you feel the weight of their lecherous stares even if you can’t see them.

It was a peculiar yet thrilling feeling—losing your sight, yet knowing so many eyes were on you.

Watching, waiting, and lusting over your body that only Suguru is permitted to touch. The notion alone is enough to make your body shiver harder than any chill would cause.

Seeing you try to contain your nerves, Suguru regards you with interest as your small hands tug at the sides of your robe and you try your hardest to steady your breathing. At this point you were willing to do whatever it took to set right your earlier transgressions with Suguru.

You felt absolutely terrible for not recognizing him, on top of allowing Nanako and Mimiko to sneak out right under your nose! You were just thankful at the opportunity for forgiveness.

Although Suguru already knows you are too infatuated with him to deny him anything, especially when it comes to taking dick, anytime or any place he asked you to. Suguru, is throughly pleased with your obedience as he needed your cooperation for this licentious stunt.

Though Suguru finds the more debased aspects of cult culture crude, he knows they serve a vital purpose: ensuring total indoctrination.

With the rapid expansion of his following, fear-mongering and promises of salvation were no longer enough to maintain control.

Initially, the cult attracted outcasts and those on society's fringes. But as the poison of fear spread throughout Tokyo, married couples and families alike sought refuge from the new threat—doppelgängers visible even to those without cursed energy.

His inner circle of cursed users agreed—control was now more crucial than ever. Not just physical or emotional control, but dominance over every detail of his followers’ lives.

Suguru needed to dictate how they thought, what they ate, when they bathed, and how long they slept—every aspect of their pathetic existence. He intended to shape their perception of themselves in the new world he was building, so much so that they wouldn’t dare take a breath without first considering if it pleased ‘Geto-sama’ (it never would, though he tolerated it for the time being).

Now, the final step remains.

With the power he wielded as their omnipotent savior, Suguru couldn’t allow their vows to each other to interfere with their vows to serve him.

And what better way to weaken these bonds than through unadulterated hedonism?

Like the tenacity of Japanese knotweed, once the seeds of adultery were scattered, their venomous vines could not be contained. They would tear through the toughest stone as they would the supposed everlasting promise of martial vows and in turn shred them—making their relationships as fragile as wet paper.

And to do that, Suguru needed you—the object of lust for nearly every virile male monkey in his cult to spur them into a depravity.

Nevertheless, in this showcase of debauchery you would be the only one allowed to touch him—and regardless of any bullshit he feeds his followers, words dripping with a faux sugary coating of ‘sharing oneself wholly with your community’ to tempt his followers into the highest betrayal—he is the only one allowed to touch you.

Finally rising from his post Suguru approaches as you slowly begin to unravel, your senses fraying bit by bit as they are caught between both the fear and the eagerness of finally being touched by Suguru after he’d been gone three whole days.

However, despite your efforts to remain still you are nevertheless startle, not having sensed his presence behind you, when Suguru’s powerful hands rest on your shoulders, both reassuring you and securing you in place.

Your breath quickens along with the dampening between your legs. Leaking, your arousal begins to secrete onto your thick inner thighs that are dutifully pressed together underneath your paper-thin garment.

One of his followers swiftly sets a cushion before your feet then disappears again as Suguru’s grip tightens and he lowers you, his precious little Bunny, onto your knees.

Anticipation surges through your veins and settles right into the fiery pit of need stirring in your core when you feel him kneel behind you.

Even blindfolded, Suguru’s hulking presence has you feeling so small in front of him.

“Let us begin.”

You feel yourself rattle from his voice booming over you while simultaneously Suguru’ swiftly pulls the ties on your robe loose with ease—snatching the garment away and exposing the sides of your naked body to his mass of followers.

Hushed whispers of the congregation immediately erupt, sending tingles racing across your flesh. You can’t help but moan untouched as an unfamiliar heat simmers in your bones.

Sure, you were getting plenty turned on from being watched—not knowing how many of the familiar faces you greeted daily were now leering at you…but this felt like something…different.

“Tsk.”

Suguru chides, surveying your body and noticing you as your chubby little clit, already swollen with need, eagerly peeking out from your folds to greet his congregation.

With a slight smirk Suguru reaches from behind you to deliver a loud reprimanding smack to your pussy. Chastising your cunt’s lack of decorum in front of his followers, the slick moisture of your folds echoes throughout the silence.

Swallowing down your whimpers, you’re left panting, your tongue already out and your saliva falling upon the altar as you felt like you could have cum from just that single smack alone—something was definitely wrong.

If Suguru notices your sudden distress or hypersensitivity, he says nothing.

Yet his hands never leave you as they begin to roam your body with more urgency, squeezing and kneading—breasts, hips, ass—the drag of his cool palms and blunt nails across your curves leaves scorching arousal sizzling in your very bones. The feelings only intensify tenfold when the sensations of silk begin to twist across your skin.

Skillfully, Suguru weaves the braided ropes around your form leaving you dizzy, the pull and tightening against your flesh felt like the ropes themselves were alive.

Was this—shibari??

“Not to worry—” Suguru authoritatively pronounces when he hears rising murmurs of the masses, “—the restraints are only for the lovely maiden here, so the pleasure of being taken by a God doesn’t completely overwhelm and destroy her.”

Your brow furrows slightly, puzzled until you hear his husky voice coo heavy against your temple, finally cluing you in.

“Not that your slutty mouth isn’t loud enough already Bunny, but we have to make sure to really sell it. The tea’s effects shouldn’t last too long.”

Your breath hitches in a slight panic remembering the sickly-sweet tea one of the handlers told you to drink before entering the hall. Suguru attempts to console you as one of his hands finds its way to your neck constricting it with a gentle but firm pressure as he nibbles slowly up from your jawline.

“Be my brave lil’ Bun now, hm?”

You mewl softly, nodding as you feel completely overtaken by whatever drug he’d secretly given you.

Ultimately though as long as it was Suguru, you’d never deny him anything.

Suguru presses a chaste kiss behind your ear as a reward for your compliance.

Continuing his shibari handiwork, Suguru’s low hums vibrate through you from your nape down as he continues to restrain you with the smooth ropes.

"Bunny ears, bunny ears, playing by a tree. Criss-cross the tree, trying to catch me..."

The dragonfly harness tie he’s putting you in requires bunny ear knots, the irony of your situation not lost on him and considering your nickname—Suguru changes the rest of the rhyme to tease you further as he coos:

“Bunny girl, bunny girl, fucked into my pole—leaking my cum from out the inside, beautiful and bold.”

Given the go ahead to be loud, you don’t restrain the sob rips from your throat this time as tears slip through your blindfold down your cheeks. You felt like you might die soon if he didn’t fuck you as the need racing through you taunted your every nerve.

But Suguru wouldn’t be rushed and takes his time finishing off your restraints with bight knots, the result Suguru deems is that you tie up beautifully in red shibari contrasting against the color of your skin.

Although tempted, Suguru never used shibari on you before. Yet the way your soft skin bulged against the ropes digging into the flesh of your doughy body made his cock twitch violently—he’d be doing this again.

You whine when you feel Suguru rise up. You fear him leaving you bound and bare but his hand rests on the top of your head as if to silence your concerns, letting you know he was still near.

Not that you thought he had gone far as you swear you can smell his very arousal filling the air.

You weren’t wrong either.

Suguru had since moved to stand in front of you now and the evidence of his own heated erection becomes apparent when his milky beads slowly splat onto your face. Droplets rolling past the tip of your nose, your tongue eagerly darts out to savor his seed.

Moaning like a slut just from the taste of him, your visible hot breath openly salivating, your mouth so eager and ready to be used by him, makes Suguru throb harder. Your chest heaves, tilting forward for more as the restraints pinning your arms behind your back forces you into the most perfect little arch.

Not being able to deny his lil Bunny her carrot any longer, Suguru taps the tip of his weepy length on your tongue.

“Wider.”

And you comply.

The cavern of your mouth expanding to showcase ropy webs of spittle. Suguru’s meaty length breaks through them easily though as he slides over your quivering tongue hitting deep into the back of your throat. He’s thick, enormously so and tears sting your eyes under the blindfold as you passively let him use you.

That is, until you hear the command—

“Suck.”

Sighing with relief your mouth encloses the best it can, jaw relaxed yet strained to accommodate his size. You bob down further before rising up to suckle at his tip.

Humming with approval, Suguru is pleased that your restrained arms don’t stop you from being the cock-hungry slut he knows you to be.

True to form, although you cannot stroke him, you still lick him just as nasty—resting the shaft of his heavy cock on your chin while you tongue up the strong vein on the underside.

Completely, uncaring for the mess he leaks all over your face, you continue unhindered as your blindfold and cheeks are soiled in streaks of white.

A ripple of hushed awe sweeps through the crowd, some who couldn’t resist stroking themselves as they watched with envy. Suguru casts an annoyed glance at them before returning his focus to you.

Filthy ingrates.

Grinding his teeth, Suguru has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at his congregation’s shameless lust over you. Even if you were a perfect slut, the human embodiment of a succubus, they still didn’t deserve to lay eyes on you—let alone stroke themselves filthy to you.

One day he would punish them all for it too.

Rip out their eyes and summon the Rainbow Dragon curse to devour them all in one fell swoop—but unfortunately not today.

Suguru’s rising agitation makes his cock more impatient, the laps from your teasing whore tongue wasn’t enough. Hastily, Suguru grips the back of your neck, snapping his hips forward to thrust into your mouth fully without warning.

Your eyes shoot open, yet again are met with darkness—still blindfolded. Your breath constricts as he plunges himself into until he feels your nose press into the soft pubes at the base of his pubic bone.

Allowing you to adjust momentarily, Suguru wipes away some of the tears and pre caking your cheekbones. His gentle caress travels down your face to wrap firmly around your throat that is bulging full of him.

“Good girl, Bunny, just relax.”

His whispered praises stir up the desperate ache in your pussy and you reflexively relax as Suguru weaves his hands around your hair. Fucking himself down your gullet, Suguru throws his head back.

Suguru’s cock had trained your throat well and like usual, it obediently opened for his use, your narrow tunnel of wet heat forming to the very shape of him.

But while your throat was subservient to him, your pussy was not.

The effects of the tea in full force your cunt coveted the assault your mouth receives. The lust building in your core was maddening.

Fraught with need to relieve any of the tortuous thrum between your legs, cries vibrate through your windpipes restricting tighter around his engorged length causing Suguru to hiss, his own hips stuttering as he almost prematurely releases.

Curious, Suguru’s eyes pry open to see your sloppy pussy soiling a large spot of moisture onto the cushion—somehow the pillow had shamelessly found its way between your plush thighs for you to hump down on.

Pulling himself from your mouth with a pop, your voice croaks as you gasp for air but you’re immediately left pouting at the loss of him.

“Waste not the seed of God.”

Your throat is more than willing to have him back inside regardless of the wild fever fluttering in your pussy.

“Now, now—none of that, not when your greedy lil’ cunt can’t bare my cock to go in any other hole but her.”

Harshly breathing out admonishments for your sluttiness against your neck, Suguru is behind you again, turning your body this time to face the crowd.

Shaking, small tremors of anticipation flowing through you but Suguru doesn’t make you wait long.

His large hands take their fill of your curves as he snakes them across your body, one hand coming to rest over your womb while the other cupped your cunt. His dexterous middle finger rubbing slow agonizing circles on your puffy clit causing you to sob out.

The amount of slick pouring from you makes it easy for Suguru to manipulate his hand further into your folds, already drenched up to his forearm just from merely swiping his fingers through your sodden lips.

Suguru’s adam's apple bobs as he ruts his hard and weepy erection against the crack of your ass when your greedy walls unabashedly swallow up his long middle finger like it was his cock.

“Only one finger in this immodest lil’ hole and you are ready to cum for me?’

Another rapturous cry slips from you as Suguru digs another finger into your core, spreading your legs and granting him deeper access. Your squelching pussy getting finger popped is lewdly on display for the entire hall.

Your other senses working overtime as Suguru cores out your insides, pushing into your g-spot and steady towards your release. The hand clutching onto your belly now fondles your spongy bud and you throw your head back against his shoulder.

So close—So close…. Fuckk!

“Hold it.”

His authoritative words command your body to halt soon as you feel yourself about to tumble over your delicious peak. Suguru rips any relief from the insatiable burning in your guts away from you.

“MMMM-FUHHHH, No, no no! Pleasepleaseplease mmmm—Geto-sama! N-Need you!”

You know you should be silent.

You know it’s almost certain he will punish you further.

But any punishment seems insignificant to the fact you feel you might actually die from need if you don’t get his fat cock inside of you soon, your heart feels like it might seize from distress.

Suguru goes still, his firm grip still on your body as his hands pull taunt on the shibari ropes draped across you, quieting your snivels.

Your fears are somewhat assuaged when you hear him chuckle huskily in amusement.

“Hmm—Shall I bless you?”

The question was spoken aloud, yet it is clearly rhetorical.

Like you Suguru’s followers also knew to stay silent, yet cries of—“bless her!”, “bless her!”, “make her squirt!”, “stretch her out!”—ring from the congregation. Your cheeks burn with mortification as you had momentarily forgot just how many people are watching you get toyed with.

Yet you’d have Suguru broadcast this nationally if it meant you finally got to feel his cock inside you—anything to keep your insides from further liquifying, your pussy melting slowly in a puddle of its own desperation.

Suguru hums in approval.

Seeing you in this pathetic state for him overcomes any displeasure he feels from the hoard of monkeys chattering out of turn

As a result, Suguru shows you his mercy, waiting no time slotting his leaky cock between your cushy thighs. The bulb of his tip catches against your clitoral hood with every thrust of his girth parting your dewy folds. If it weren’t for his steady hold on the braided ties keeping you upright you surely would have collapsed forward from the toe-curling sensation.

The increased heat from the aphrodisiac drug had his length messing up your pretty pussy before it even got inside you. Your head luls back onto his shoulder as he continues fucking your thighs, unable to hold its weight up any longer.

Yet Suguru won’t allow you to tap out so early.

“No slacking, Bunny.”

Is the only warning you got before Suguru bullies the entire length himself into your tight lil cunt. Your pussy already so pliant from the light teasing and drugs gives him free access to reach your womb all in one go.

The screech that strains from your abused vocals causes the tension in the room to awash with a heady lust as Suguru’s followers can no longer hold back from touching those around them.

Disgusting monkeys.

Surguru growls to himself but ultimately his plan is working maybe a little too well. He had ensured the tea was brewed for each in attendance as well, all had been delivered a cup before having left their rooms—yet still, the thought of them being so aroused over you sparks a deeper hatred for them in his soul.

Fucking away what few remaining thoughts, if any, you have in your head, Suguru bucks into you with a faster force. It’s unfair of him, but he cannot control himself from taking out his anger on you. Recklessly Suguru’s hips slam into you in retaliation for being the seductive siren you are, enticing his congregation to disobey him—and most offensive, trapping someone as steadfast as him to covet someone as simple-minded as you.

Sloshing claps echo from your bodies colliding to encompass the vast room almost as loudly as your moans squeak out, begging him to let you cum—to fill you.

Your pussy is desperate for his absolution and it’s shown in the creamy rings of sap you drown his cock with.

You were his.

Suguru would make sure no one here would be able to glance upon you again without remembering how well you slut out only for him.

Pulling the crimson ropes taunt enough to leave marks in your skin Suguru doesn’t realize for how long and just how much force his cock has been plowing into your messy pulsing cunt until he feels the tremors of your violent release rake through your body, snapping him out of his sadistic daydreams of murdering every monkey in the compound as your milky release streams down your soft legs to sully the floor beneath you.

Sweat jewels across his own brow and Suguru knows he has to finish you for good soon, his concentration could only last so long before your soaked cunny would even prove to weaken even a God such as himself.

Suguru’s his hands crawl in serpentine trails across your middle edging lower until they are strumming impatiently over your clit once more, rubbing you near raw with pleasure.

Who knows how many times you’ve already cum around his cock?

Truthfully, Suguru doesn’t think you actually stopped since the first time.

However when he feels you start to limp, fading in his hold his heady voice is in your ear again, lightly nibbling your lobe as he encourages your consciousness to last just a bit longer.

“Show them how well you can take me, Bunny.”

“How you are the only one who won't break before me.”

His firm grip clutching your jaw, Suguru pulls your face back to him.

“Remember, you are the only one suited to be their god’s obedient little plaything—my greedy lil’ cockwhore.”

Your voice barely above a whisper, you croak out to him urgently.

“S-Sugu…k-kissth me!”

Noting how your mouth is lax, drool glistening in its corners—Suguru doesn’t need to see your eyes to know how utterly fucked-out you are in this moment.

Completely lost in ecstasy, you easily forget yourself calling him by a nickname only you are privy to inside his bedroom.

However, thankfully for your sake, no one else had heard it. The crowd of bodies too fervently occupied in their own debased copulation.

Yet still, your insolence of calling him anything other than ‘Geto-sama’ in public earns you a pinch so acute on your clit, that you see white even in the darkness of your blindfold.

Garbled cries spill forth as surges of rapturous electricity shock your every pore and in an instant Suguru’s fingers dive into your mouth. Not wanting you to injure yourself, Suguru permits you to bite down on them in lieu of own tongue as you convulse against his body.

The feral bite to his digits as if you’d rip the very flesh off him is only rivaled by your tight pretty pussy clam clamping down on Suguru’s cock enough to push him over the edge as well. Not even having the chance to pull out, your cunt bends Suguru to her will, forcing him to paint your walls white—your womb is a sponge that greedily absorbs his holy essence, squeezing him for every last drop.

The lock you have on him is so intense that Suguru feels his mask of calm begin to slip and he bites his inner cheek bloody lest a feeble moan slip out of him. Suguru always maintains a semblance of composure or he’d be no better than the orgy of primates beneath him.

Releasing you, slowly you fall forward out of his grasp. Your face meets the cool floor but there's no pain from the impact, at least not enough to overpower the pleasurable spams still buzzing through your core or the dull aching of your neglected nipples now rubbing against the polished hardwood.

The drug isn’t even close to being out of your system yet and you are wiggling your ass for more. Your delayed consciousness lags before whimper in the realization of your hollowed empty core.

“S-Su-Su—”

Your body is near destroyed but you were still horny as fuck.

Suguru is quick to hush you, his hands running along the curves of your ass, massaging them. Gently plucking at your shibari knots, Suguru admires how they branded into your flesh. Continuing, his hands skate across your moist skin before pulling your cheeks apart to gaze at his seed plugging your hole.

He hadn’t meant to cum inside you yet the way your cunt quivers, gaping open as it ejects loads of his cum to splatter onto the floor, he scolds himself for not doing so previously.

“Keep it in.”

Effectively corking your cunt closed, keen loudly as Suguru twists two fingers inside of you.

By now, his followers are fully in their own heat, a pile of withering bodies as pure hedonism had erupted in the auditorium.

No one notices as Suguru’s attendants bring out fresh robes as he hurriedly loosens your knots enough to carry you out, readying himself and you to make a hasty exit. Suguru would surely hurry if the stretch of the monkeys debauched copulation can reached his nostrils.

He'd rather continue your ‘punishment’ in private anyway. Fucking you in front of his congregation and showcasing you as his cocksleeve was not enough of a claim to calm his jealousy.

No, Suguru needed to have claim to you fully.

It’s in that moment Suguru mentally adds one final requirement to your penance—you’d bear him an heir.

A few in fact.

He’d have the perfect excuse to keep you hidden away too—for your protection of course.

You mewl as Suguru gathers up your limp half-conscious form and presses you to himself so possessively it hurts. Yet your mind is still gone, lost in lust as you’re still babbling nonsensical pleas for him to fuck you.

“Hush now, Bunny, my most devout follower, Geto-sama is here to take care of it all. I’ll bless you with my seed and keep you tied to the bed on your back until your belly swells full with my heirs.”

......RESULT: FAILED. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚐𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗—𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚒 𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎.

that's not my jjk man series (visit series page for full animation) a/n: this was way longer than i wanted it to be, was originally gonna cut it off before he actually fucked reader but decided to follow through since I owe y'all geto girlies some p in v djsdkjshk (nerd!geto p2 after kinktober i swear!)

comment and reblog! next up either Nanami or Choso—any preference? lmk! (both just need last bits of smut written/final review, they are actually 2 of my fav stories so excited to post them!)

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

2K notes · View notes

blogjeepster · 1 year ago

Text

Time to Face Facts...

Get Ready....

Most American car horns honk in the key of F.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected after the original 7-ounce containers and 'UP' for the direction of the bubbles.

101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie. .

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.

Reindeer like to eat bananas.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.

The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II Killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

More people are killed annually by donkeys than airplane crashes.

A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A whale's penis is called a dork.

Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.

The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights.

In 1912 a law passed in Nebraska where drivers in the country at night were required to stop every 150 yards, send up a skyrocket, wait eight minutes for the road to clear before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their horn and shooting off flares.

More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money throughout the world.

Caesar salad has nothing to do with any of the Caesars. It was first concocted in a bar in Tijuana, Mexico, in the 1920's.

One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.

Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile. So, if being chased by one, run in a zigzag line to lose him or her.

Seattle’s Fremont Bridge rises up and down more than any drawbridge in the world.

Right-handed people live, on average; nine years longer than left handed people.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

In the United States, a pound of potato chips costs two hundred times more than a pound of potatoes.

A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.

A person cannot taste food unless it is mixed with saliva. For example, if a strong-tasting substance like salt is placed on a dry tongue, the taste buds will not be able to taste it. As soon as a drop of saliva is added and the salt is dissolved, however, a definite taste sensation results. This is true for all foods.

Nearly 80% of all animals on earth have six legs.

In the marriage ceremony of the ancient Inca Indians of Peru, the couple was considered officially wed when they took off their sandals and handed them to each other.

Ninety percent of all species that have become extinct have been birds.

There is approximately one chicken for every human being in the world.

Most collect calls are made on father's day.

The first automobile race ever seen in the United States was held in Chicago in 1895. The track ran from Chicago to Evanston, Illinois.

The winner was J. Frank Duryea, whose average speed was 71/2 miles per hour.

Each of us generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper.

Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of all Americans households.

A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.

It has NEVER rained in Calama, a town in the Atacama Desert of Chile.

It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

An eighteenth-century German named Matthew Birchinger, known as "the little man of Nuremberg," played four musical instruments including the bagpipes, was an expert calligrapher, and was the most famous stage magician of his day. He performed tricks with the cup and balls that have never been explained. Yet Birchinger had no hands, legs, or thighs, and was less than 29 inches tall.

Daylight Saving Time is not observed in most of the state of Arizona and parts of Indiana.

Ants closely resemble human manners: When they wake, they stretch & appear to yawn in a human manner before taking up the tasks of the day.

Bees have 5 eyes. There are 3 small eyes on the top of a bee's head and 2 larger ones in front.

Count the number of cricket chirps in a 15-second period, add 37 to the total, and your result will be very close to the actual outdoor Fahrenheit temperature.

One-fourth of the world's population lives on less than $200 a year. Ninety million people survive on less than $75 a year.

Butterflies taste with their hind feet.

Only female mosquito’s' bite and most are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.

In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to swallow the dice if there was a police raid.

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

The human tongue tastes bitter things with the taste buds toward the back. Salty and pungent flavors are tasted in the middle of the tongue, sweet flavors at the tip!

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum. [link]

When you sneeze, air and particles travel through the nostrils at speeds over100 mph. During this time, all bodily functions stop, including your heart, contributing to the impossibility of keeping one's eyes open during a sneeze.

Annual growth of WWW traffic is 314,000%

%60 of all people using the Internet, use it for pornography.

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour. [link]

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.

Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More than 2 billion pencils are manufactured each year in the United States. If these were laid end to end they would circle the world nine times.

The pop you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually a bubble of gas burning.

A literal translation of a standard traffic sign in China: "Give large space to the festive dog that makes sport in the roadway."

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

Larry Lewis ran the 100-yard dash in 17.8 seconds in 1969, thereby setting a new world's record for runners in the 100-years-or-older class. He was 101.

In a lifetime the average human produces enough quarts of spit to fill 2 swimming pools.

It's against the law to doze off under a hair dryer in Florida/against the law to slap an old friend on the back in Georgia/against the law to Play hopscotch on a Sunday in Missouri.

Barbie's measurements, if she were life-size, would be 39-29-33.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30ft.

One third of all cancers are sun related.

THE MOST UNUSUAL CANNONBALL: On two occasions, Miss 'Rita Thunderbird' remained inside the cannon despite a lot of gunpowder encouragement to do otherwise. She performed in a gold lamé bikini and on one of the two occasions (1977) Miss Thunderbird remained lodged in the cannon, while her bra was shot across the Thames River.

It has been estimated that humans use only 10% of their brain.

Valentine Tapley from Pike County, Missouri grew chin whiskers attaining a length of twelve feet six inches from 1860 until his death 1910, protesting Abraham Lincoln's election to the presidency.

Most Egyptians died by the time they were 30 about 300 years ago,

For some time Frederic Chopin, the composer and pianist, wore a beard on only one side of his face, explaining: "It does not matter, my audience sees only my right side."

1 in every 4 Americans has appeared someway or another on television.

1 in 8 Americans has worked at a McDonalds restaurant.

70% of all boats sold are used for fishing.

Studies have shown that children laugh an average of 300 times/day and adults 17 times/day, making the average child more optimistic, curious, and creative than the adult.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. [link]

You were born with 300 bones, but by the time you are an adult you will only have 206.

If you go blind in one eye you only lose about one fifth of your vision but all your sense of depth.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The strongest muscle (Relative to size) in the body is the tongue.

A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class. [link]

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

A palindrome is a sentence or group of sentences that reads the same backwards as it does forward: Ex: 'Red rum, sir, is murder.' 'Ma is as selfless as I am.' 'Nurse, I spy gypsies. Run!' 'A man, a plan, a canal - Panama.' 'He lived as a devil, eh?'

The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA'

In 1986 Congress & President Ronald Reagan signed Public Law 99-359, which changed Daylight Saving Time from the last Sunday in April to the first Sunday in April. It was estimated to save the nation about

300,000 barrels of oil each year by adding most of the month April to D.S.T.

The thumbnail grows the slowest, the middle nail the fastest, nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

The Human eyes never grow, but nose and ears never stop growing.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had. [link]

Tom Sawyer was the first novel written on a typewriter.

If Texas were a country, its GNP would be the fifth largest of any country in the world.

There are 1 million ants for every human in the world.

Odds of being killed by lightening? 1 in 2million/killed in a car crash? 1 in 5,000/killed by falling out of bed? 1 in 2million/killed in a plane crash? 1 in 25 million.

Since 1978, 37 people have died by Vending Machine's falling on them. 13 people are killed annually. All this while trying to shake merchandise out of them. 113 people have been injured.

Half the foods eaten throughout the world today were developed by farmers in the Andes Mountains (including potatoes, maize, sweet potatoes, squash, all varieties of beans, peanuts, manioc, papayas, strawberries, mulberries and many others).

The 'Golden Arches' of fast food chain McDonalds is more recognized worldwide than the religious cross of Christianity.

Former basketball superstar Michael Jordan is the most recognized face in the world, more than the pope himself.

The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva droplets per minute, about 2.5 droplets per word.

The Earth experiences 50,000 Earth quakes per year and is hit by Lightning 100 times a second.

Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.

If we had the same mortality rate now as in 1900, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive.

On average, Americans eat 18 acres of pizza everyday.

Researchers at the Texas Department of Highways in Fort Worth determined the cow population of the U.S. burps some 50 million tons of valuable hydrocarbons into the atmosphere each year. The accumulated burps of ten average cows could keep a small house adequately heated and its stove operating for a year.

During a severe windstorm or rainstorm the Empire State Building sways several feet to either side.

In the last 3,500 years, there have been approximately 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.

The Black Death reduced the population of Europe by one third in the period from 1347 to 1351.

The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime.

Length of beard an average man would grow if he never shaved 27.5 feet

Over 60% of all those who marry get divorced.

400-quarter pounders can be made from 1 cow.

A full-loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes at least

20 minutes to stop.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

Hong Kong holds the most Rolls Royce’s per capita.

Average number of days a West German goes without washing his

underwear: 7

WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific armed their airplanes while stationed with .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measuring 27 feet before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, he went through "the whole 9 yards", hence the term.

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.

In the early 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (like two-way radios in taxis) but did not re-number the other channel assignments.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Firehouses have circular stairways originating from the old days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Statues in parks: If the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

The expression 'to get fired' comes from long ago Clans that wanted to get rid of unwanted people, so they would burn their houses instead of killing them, creating the term 'Got fired'.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight in case of war or emergency, they could be used as airstrips.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army. G.P. for 'General Purpose' vehicle.

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary, because when it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19, the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

In Aspen Colorado, you can have a maximum income of $104,000 and still receive government subsidized housing.

Honking of car horns for a couple that just got married is an old superstition to insure great sex.

Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation.[link]

The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant.

In medieval France, unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town naked.

The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

Napoleon's penis was sold to an American Urologist for $40,000. [link]

Eating the heart of a male Partridge was the cure for impotence in ancient Babylon.

A bull can inseminate 300 cows from one single ejaculation.

When a Hawaiian woman wears a flower over her left ear, it means that she is not available.

The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.

The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

The following sentence: 'A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.' Contains the nine different pronunciations of "ough" in the English Language.

The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.[link]

The shape of plant collenchyma’s cells and the shape of the bubbles in beer foam are the same - they are orthotetrachidecahedrons.

Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.

[link]

PEZ candy even comes in a Coffee flavor.

The first song played on Armed Forces Radio during operation Desert Shield was "Rock the Casba" by the Clash. [link]

Non-dairy creamer is flammable. [link]

The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

Golf courses cover 4% of North America.

The average person will accidentally eat just under a pound of insects every year.

Until 1994, world maps and globes sold in Albania only had Albania on them.

The value of Pi will be officially "rounded down" to 3.14 from

3.14159265359 on December 31, 1999.

The Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure visible from space.

A piece of paper can be folded no more then 9 times.

The amount of computer Memory required to run WordPerfect for Win95 is 8 times the amount needed aboard the space shuttle.

The average North American will eat 35,000 cookies during their life span.

Between 25% and 33% of the population sneeze when exposed to light.

The most common name in world is Mohammed.

Mount Olympus Mons on Mars is three times the size of Mount Everest.

Most toilets flush in E flat.

2,000 pounds of space dust and other space debris fall on the Earth every day.

Each month, there is at least one report of UFOs from each province of Canada.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

You can be fined up to $1,000 for whistling on Sunday in Salt Lake City, Utah.

It takes about 142.18 licks to reach the center of a Tootsie pop.

The serial number of the first MAC ever produced was 2001.

It is illegal to eat oranges while bathing in California.

If done perfectly, a rubix cube combination can be solved in 17 turns.

The average American butt is 14.9 inches long.

More bullets were fired in 'Starship Troopers' than any other movie ever made.

60% of electrocutions occur while talking on the telephone during a thunderstorm.

The name of the girl on the statue of liberty is Mother of Exiles.

[link]

3.6 cans of Spam are consumed each second.

There's a systematic lull in conversation every 7 minutes.

The buzz from an electric razor in America plays in the key of B flat; Key of G in England.

There are 1,575 steps from the ground floor to the top of the Empire State building. [link]

The world's record for keeping a Lifesaver in the mouth with the hole intact is 7 hrs 10 min.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The world record for spitting a watermelon seed is 65 feet 4 inches.

In the Philippine jungle, the yo-yo was first used as a weapon.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.

The three most recognized Western names in China are Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, & Elvis Presley.

There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo. [link]

The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston,

Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

In space, astronauts are unable to cry, because there is no gravity and the tears won't flow.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S that there are real ones.

The crack of a whip is actually a tiny sonic boom, since the tip breaks the sound barrier.

Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined.

Hot water is heavier than cold.

The common idea that only 10% of the brain is used it not true as it is impossible to determine the actual percentage because of the complexity of the brain.

Lawn darts are illegal in Canada.

There are more psychoanalysts per capita in Buenos Aires than any other place in the world.

Between 2 and 3 jockeys are killed each year in horse racing.

5,840 people with pillow related injuries checked into U.S.

emergency rooms in 1992.

The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.

Some individuals express concern sharing their soap, rightly so, considering 75% of all people wash from top to bottom.

Conception occurs most in the month of December.

CBS' "60 Minutes" is the only TV show without a theme song/music.

Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.

'Obsession' is the most popular boat name.

On average, Americans' favorite smell is banana.

If one spells out numbers, they would have to count to One Thousand before coming across the letter "A".

Honey is the only food which does not spoil.

3.9% of all women do not wear underwear.

This common everyday occurrence composed of 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, and 9% dioxide is called a 'fart'.

"Evaluation and Parameterization of Stability and Safety Performance Characteristics of Two and Three Wheeled Vehicular Toys for Riding." Title of a $230,000 research project proposed by the Department of Health, Education and Welfare, to study the various ways children fall off bicycles.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

Meteorologists claim they're right 85% of the time (think about that one!)

In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.

Los Angeles' full name 'El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula' is reduced to 3.63% of its size in the abbreviation 'L.A.'.

If you went out into space, you would explode before you suffocated because there's no air pressure.

The only real person to ever to appear on a pez dispenser was Betsy Ross.

Mike Nesmith's (the guitarist of The Monkeys) mom invented White Out. [link]

Only 6 people in the whole world have died from moshing.

241. In a test performed by Canadian scientists, using various different styles of music, it was determined that chickens lay the most eggs when pop music was played.

The storage capacity of human brain exceeds 4 Terabytes.

In Vermont, the ratio of cows to people is 10:1

Any free-moving liquid in outer space will form itself into a sphere, because of its surface tension.

The average American looks at eight houses before buying one.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Koala is Aboriginal for "no drink".

Shakespeare spelled his OWN name several different ways.

The first contraceptive was crocodile dung used by the ancient Egyptians.

A signature is called a John Hancock because he signed the Declaration of Independence. Only 2 people signed the declaration of independence on July 4. The Last person signed 2 years later.

Arnold Schonberg suffered from triskaidecaphobia, the fear of the number 13. He died at 13 minutes from midnight on Friday the 13th.

Mozart wrote the nursery rhyme 'twinkle, twinkle, little star' at the age of 5.

Weatherman Willard Scott was the first original Ronald McDonald. [link]

Virginia Woolf wrote all her books standing.

Einstein couldn't speak fluently until after his ninth birthday.

His parents thought he was mentally retarded.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Deborah Winger did the voice of E.T.

Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano for the theme song of Fraiser.

Thomas Edison, acclaimed inventor of the light bulb, was afraid of the dark.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

You can sail all the way around the world at latitude 60 degrees south.

The earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Porcupines can float in water.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20, a national pot-smokers hour.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in

"dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Tigers not only have striped fur, they have striped skin!

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

On the ground, a group of geese is a gaggle, in the sky it is a skein.

To Ensure Promptness, one is expected to pay beyond the value of service – hence the later abbreviation: T.I.P.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1"encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ."

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

The scene where Indiana Jones shoots the swordsman in Raider’s of the Lost Ark was Harrison Ford's idea so that he could take a bathroom break.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left-handed.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 1930s lobbied against hemp farmers they saw it as competition.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfish haven't got brains.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The name of all continents in the world end with the same letter that they start with.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

The longest word comprised of one row on the keyboard is: TYPEWRITER

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

The average person spends 12 weeks a year 'looking for things'.

The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe..

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

"Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und"

The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis..

The longest place-name still in use is:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitnatahu,

a New Zealand hill.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device depicted in the book 'The Naked Lunch'.

The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from

1.8 miles away.

The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.

The word "dexter" whose meaning refers to the right hand is typed with only the left hand.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."

The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead."

The first episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi" was the highest rated American program in the history of Korean television, a country where "Chachi" translates to "penis".

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Giraffes have no vocal cords.

The pupils of a goat's eyes are square.

Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive.

A standard slinky measures 87 feet when stretched out.

The highest per capita Jell-O comsumption in the US is Des Moines.

If a rooster can't fully extend its neck, it can't crow.

There were always 56 curls in Shirley Temple's hair.

The eyes of a donkey are positioned so that it can see all four feet at all times.

Worcestershire sauce in essentially an Anchovy Ketchup.

Rhode Island is the only state which the hammer throw is a legal high school sport.

The average lifespan of an eyelash is five months.

A spider has transparent blood.

Every acre of American crops harvested contains 100 pounds of insects.

Prince Charles is an avid collecter of toilet seats.

The most common street name in the U.S. is Second Street.

Tehran is the most expensive city on earth.

The sweat drops drawn in cartoon comic strips are called pleuts.

Babies are most likely to be born on Tuesdays.

The HyperMart outside of Garland Texas has 58 check-outs.

The Minneapolis phone book has 21 pages of Andersons.

In the 1980's American migraines increased by 60%.

Poland is the "stolen car capital of the world".

Jefferson invented the dumbwaiter, the monetary system, and the folding attic ladder.

The S in Harry S. Truman did not stand for anything.

In Miconesia, coins are 12 feet across.

A horse can look forward with one eye and back with the other.

Shakespeare is quoted 33,150 times in the Oxford English dictionary.

The word Pennsylvania is misspelled on the Liberty Bell.

NBA superstar Michael Jordan was originally cut from his high school basketball team.

You spend 7 years of your life in the bathroom.

A family of 26 could go to the movies in Mexico city for the price of one in Tokyo.

10,000 Dutch cows pass through the Amsterdam airport each year.

Approximately every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls their hamstring.

Simplistic passwords contribute to over 80% of all computer password break-ins.

The top 3 health-related searches on the Internet are (in this

order): Depression, Allergies, & Cancer.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

All US Presidents have worn glasses; some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

The site with the highest number of women visitors between the age of 35 and 44 years old: Alka-Seltzer.com

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth are Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser (in that order).

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a 'Friday the 13th'.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they can be easily confused at a crime scene.

The mask worn by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games--MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL--are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

When the French Academy was preparing its first dictionary, it defined "crab" as, "A small red fish, which walks backwards." This definition was sent with a number of others to the naturalist Cuvier for his approval. The scientist wrote back, "Your definition, gentlemen, would be perfect, only for three exceptions. The crab is not a fish, it is not red and it does not walk backwards."

Dr. Jack Kevorkian first patient has Alzheimer's disease.

Fictional/horror writer Stephen King sleeps with a nearby light on to calm his fear of the dark.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down.

The very first song played on MTV was 'Video Killed The Radio Star'

by the Buggles.

William Marston engineered one of the earliest forms of the polygraph in the early 1900's. Later he went on to create the comic strip Wonder Woman, a story about a displaced Amazon princess who forces anyone caught in her magic lasso to tell the truth

Americans travel 1,144,721,000 miles by air every day

The the U.S. you dial '911'. In Stockholm, Sweden you dial 90000

38% of American men say they love their cars more than women

The U.S. military operates 234 golf courses

100% of lottery winners do gain weight

Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers were all invented by women

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Cats urine glows under a black light.

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Wild Kingdom."

Pamela Anderson Lee is Canada's Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

When possums are playing 'possum', they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Most lipstick contains fish scales!

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants!

There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand!

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!

The average American/Canadian will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year!

Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows!

The state of Florida is bigger than England!

Dolphins sleep with one eye open!

In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons!

Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours!

Owls are one of the only birds who can see the color blue!

Honeybees have a type of hair on their eyes!

A jellyfish is 95 percent water!

In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals!

The katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs!

Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States!

166,875,000,000 pieces of mail are delivered each year in the US

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave

The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head

Daffy Duck's middle name is "Dumas"

In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is "Yensid" (Disney

backwards.)

In The Empire Strikes Back there is a potato hidden in the asteroid field

Walt Disney holds the world record for the most Academy Awards won by one person, he has won twenty statuettes, and twelve other plaques and certificates

James Bond's car had three different license plates in Goldfinger

Canada makes up 6.67 percent of the Earth's land area

South Dakota is the only U.S state which shares no letters with the name of it's capital

The KGB is headquartered at No. 2 Felix Dzerzhinsky Square, Moscow

The Vatican city registered 0 births in 1983

Spain leads the world in cork production

There are 1,792 steps in the Eiffel Tower

There are 269 steps to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand while drawing with the other

Holy crap you stayed around long enough to read all of them.

Sure there was only 449, but most readers left at around 193.

You have real staying power!

Facts the factcheckers need to know

#useless facts #trivia #amazing factoids #real truth hard facts #random facts #fun facts #facts #factcheckers need to get another job

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