#real life dumbassery

[nerianasims]

Criminal Conspiracy Notes

[banannabethchase]

Talking Nonsense - also on AO3

~

Yuta's getting kind of sick of Claudio's sex puns, but…if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

~

Alternate title: the five times Claudio nails a stupid sex joke and the one time Yuta did. Title from Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter.

~

“Are you actually watching this movie?” Yuta asks, placing a hand on Claudio’s thigh.

Claudio turns to him. “Are you?”

Yuta shakes his head and drops to his knees in front of Claudio. “Not even a little bit.”

Claudio licks his lips and lifts his hips off the couch to shove his sweatpants down. Yuta loves quality time with his man, obviously, but there’s something about the Blackpool sweatpants that makes it impossible for him to be chill. He locks eyes with Claudio as he licks up his hand.

“My goodness,” Claudio says. “Someone’s eager today.”

“Yeah?” Yuta asks. “Well, your fault for those stupid sweatpants.”

Teasing, he strokes Claudio’s cock with the tiniest amount of grip to get Claudio twitching, his breathing speeding up. Fuck around with that oh so perfect heart rate a little. When he’s played enough, he wraps his lips around the head of Claudio’s cock, hovering for a moment before sinking all the way down. Claudio moans. It feels like praise.

Yuta notes, as he bobs on Claudio’s cock, that his practice has been paying off. For Claudio too, he assumes, but for different reasons.

He’s really getting into it when he hears Claudio chuckle. He glances up to meet Claudio’s sparkling eyes.

Claudio reaches down to run his thumb along Yuta’s cheekbone. “You really do suck at this.”

Yuta pulls off of Claudio’s dick. “Excuse me?” he asks. “Your response to me deep throating you is to tell me I suck?”

“Yeah,” Claudio says, and there’s something behind his eyes that tells Yuta he’s about to unleash havoc. “You suck.” He reaches out and wipes some spit from the corner of Yuta’s mouth. “Quite talented at sucking. Get it?”

Yuta groans and flops backward on the hardwood floor. “It was a blowjob pun?” he whines. “That’s what you thought was sexy?”

“I thought it was funny,” Claudio says. Yuta looks over to see him with the giddiest smile on his face. “I find I don’t need to do much to be sexy.”

“So you sabotage yourself,” Yuta says. He gets to his feet. “You’re so hot you pick up shitty dad jokes to make people lose their boners. It’s a disarming technique. I get it.”

Claudio points down to his still impressively hard dick. “It did not make me lose my boner.”

“Fuck off,” Yuta grumbles. He strips off his clothes and walks into Claudio’s bedroom. He shouts behind himself, “I can’t believe I still want you to fuck me.”

~

Yuta wins another match for the Pure title – he’s losing track of his victories – and Claudio steals him back to the hotel before the taping is even over to go wild on him. Yuta’s riding his cock before he knows it, eyes closed and hands flat on Claudio’s chest.

“Fuck,” Yuta whispers. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Claudio’s tone is interesting. Yuta opens his eyes. Claudio’s gaze sears into him, hands iron vices on Yuta’s thighs. “Tell me more.”

“I love how you fill me,” Yuta breathes, rocking. “I love everything about your cock.”

Claudio’s lips quirk.

“What?”

“I’d tell you a joke about my penis,” Claudio says, and Yuta’s been in this situation too many times not to be on guard, “but I fear you’d think I was being cocky.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Yuta says, swiveling his hips so that Claudio shuts up. His whole dreamy moment is broken, replaced instead with a singular need to come and also maybe make fun of Claudio for the rest of the night. “I’m gonna come, then I’m gonna kill you, and if anybody asks me why I’ll tell them what you just said.”

“Rather violent,” Claudio mumbles.

“We’re the Blackpool Combat Club!” Yuta yells, and he starts rolling on Claudio’s cock harder. “Our whole thing is violence!”

“You seem distressed,” Claudio muses. “Perhaps our typical strategy isn’t working to calm you down.” He sits up and rolls them over, throwing Yuta on his back. “Better?”

“No,” Yuta grumbles, but he does feel better when Claudio slides back inside of him. “A little.”

“Good,” Claudio says, “I always feel better when I’m on top of things.”

Claudio laughs and Yuta comes, and it’s all much funnier than it has any right to be.

~

“I can’t believe,” Yuta says, first thing when he wakes up, “you made fun of Mox when you were literally inside me last night.” They have matches on Collision tonight so they’re up earlier than he’d like, but he’d prefer to wake up next to Claudio than anywhere else.

Claudio rolls over and kisses Yuta’s forehead. “When would you prefer for me to make fun of Mox? During dinner?”

“Generally, any time we’re not mid-fuck,” Yuta mumbles. “Also, turn off your alarm. It’s awful.”

“It’s hilarious,” Claudio argues, and finally George Michael stops screaming at them to wake him up before they go-go. “And accurate. What better way to wake up?”

“With your mouth on my dick, for one,” Yuta grumbles. He rolls into Claudio’s chest. “Speaking of which –”

“We don’t have time.” Claudio wraps a strong arm around Yuta’s back. “Though I can’t say I’m disinterested. Tonight?”

“Tonight,” Yuta replies.

They dress and hit the gym before heading over to the venue, hitting the showers with a little handsyness until the door swings open.

“Nobody better be fucking in here,” Mox yells. They hear a thud.

Claudio sighs, looking down at where the two of them are rutting against each other.

“Not technically,” Yuta yells, and he rolls his hips again. Claudio moans.

“Technical enough that Swiss is making those weird sex noises.” Yuta only has time to register what the stomping is before Mox rips open the shower curtain.

“Gross,” he says, wrinkling his nose. “You could have at least invited me.”

“You,” Claudio says, “are always late.”

Mox rolls his eyes and pulls off his shirt. “You’re always impatient.”

“You’re always a bitch,” Yuta retorts. He flicks Mox’s nipple.

“Hey!” Mox turns away. “I told you, they’re sensitive.”

Yuta grins at him. “That’s why I did it.”

“Be nice to him,” Claudio says, “he can’t take a joke.”

Yuta snorts.

“What?” Mox asks.

He glances over to Claudio. “Should I tell him the joke from last night?”

“I think that’s a risk you’d be a fool not to take.” Claudio’s eyes are sparkling.

“Mox,” Yuta says, trying to keep a straight face, “what’s the difference between you and a joke?”

Mox frowns. “What?”

“You can take three dicks.”

Mox’s jaw drops. “You really think so?” Now there’s light in his eyes that Yuta sort of hates. “I mean, I’ve been considering it. Bryan brought up something similar a few months ago, but I wasn’t sure who would be the right choice, you know. Are you two offering?”

Claudio laughs, and Yuta wonders where he went so wrong that he’s the butt of this joke.

The three of them do fuck around in the shower, hands and mouths and dicks and laughter, so, at the very least, Yuta gets an orgasm out of it.

~

“God,” Yuta moans. He arches back against Claudio’s mouth, tempted to bite the pillow. “Claudio, keep going.”

Claudio’s tongue is talented and intentional, fucking in and out of Yuta as his hand grasps Yuta’s cock.

“This is so intense,” Yuta pants.

Claudio pulls back. “It’s intense? I didn’t know we were camping.”

Yuta turns around. “Seriously?”

“You opened the door for that one, love.”

Yuta flops onto his stomach. “Please fuck me so I forget about this conversation.” He hears a click and a chuckle in the background.

“Gladly.”

~

When Yuta comes back to work after a few weeks off, Claudio doesn’t leave his side for more than a few minutes or a match, hands on him. Yuta’s zinging with anticipation, knowing what awaits him once they’re truly alone.

They fuck wildly, no time for fanfare or foreplay. They start off tangled together, with Claudio’s forehead pressed to Yuta’s as they move together. Yuta’s in Claudio’s lap, rocking against him, surrounded and engulfed by him. They move, shift, until Yuta’s on his back and Claudio is driving into him with single minded intent. When Claudio bites down on the side of his neck,  Yuta comes so hard it goes from his belly to his chest.

“You missed me,” Claudio says, leaning down to kiss Yuta.

“Of course I missed you,” Yuta murmurs against his lips.

Claudio chuckles. “No,” he says, “I mean, you missed me.” He points to the mess on Yuta’s belly and his unmussed stomach.

“I – are you making another sex joke?” Yuta drops his head back against the pillow. “Next time I’m going to come all over your face so you at least look as stupid as your jokes are.”

Claudio blinks at him.

“Oh, of course you’re into that,” Yuta says. “Fine. Sure. Next time, I’ll come on your face and tell you I didn’t miss you.”

“I think you’ll find I would enjoy that.”

~

Yuta comes to the next Dynamite armed. He’d spent a disturbing amount of time on Reddit finding sex puns and being horrified by men as a whole, but had gathered a decent amount of good jokes to interrupt Claudio’s day.

“Hey, babe,” Yuta says, wrapping his arms around the tree trunk of a man in front of him. “What kind of bees produce milk for their young?”

Claudio turns to him, perplexed. “I wouldn’t call honey a milk, quite, but it could be perceived as such. So, I suppose, honey bees.”

“Boo-bees,” Yuta says. The wind is out of his sails now. “Boobies. It’s a sex joke.”

“Ah,” Claudio says, nodding. It feels almost pitying or disappointed. “Sure. Good work, darling.” He turns to kiss Yuta’s cheek. “Anyway. Care to join us for coffee?”

Yuta’s pouty and annoyed the whole afternoon.

~

Claudio’s straight up pouting as he comes back to the locker room from the ring.

“Oh, cheer up, baby,” Yuta says. “You did great.” It’s not a good moment. But it’s a funny one. “Sometimes life’s like a penis. All of a sudden it gets hard.”

Mox snorts so hard in the corner he chokes, and Bryan has to pound him on the back.

“Christ!” Mox wheezes. “Read the room, man.”

Yuta shrugs. “It was worth a shot.”

“What was worth a shot?” Bryan asks, frowning. “A bad joke with terrible timing?”

“Be kind to him,” Claudio says, yanking Yuta in and giving him a noogie. “He’s terrible at telling jokes.”

“I am not!”

“Your timing,” Claudio says, “is atrocious.”

~

Claudio goes after him like a starving animal, mouth on Yuta’s like possession and hands digging marks into Yuta’s skin.

“Jeez,” Yuta mumbles. “You missed me. It’s been, like, a week.”

“I always miss you,” Claudio says.

They’re naked in seconds, Claudio’s mouth on Yuta opening him up with fervor and intent.

“Jesus,” Yuta gasps. “I was thinking earlier you wanted to eat me alive, but this feels kind of literal.”

“You’re ready, then,” Claudio says. He flips Yuta onto his back. “Yes?”

“Yeah,” Yuta says. He watches as Claudio slicks up his cock, messier than usual, more frantic and careless as usual. “You okay?”

“I forget,” Claudio says, arranging Yuta’s legs with his arms. His hands are covered in lube, like he was too impatient to be careful. “I forget how much I miss you when you’re not around.” His eyes go soft, gentle. “Are you ready, my love.”

“Always,” Yuta breathes.

They don’t always make love, like this. They don’t always gasp against each other, move slowly, stroke each other’s faces.

It feels almost wrong to ruin it, but Yuta has a plan, and he’s not one to pivot. He readies himself for his masterpiece. The line he’s been saving up for ages. “Sometimes,” he says softly, gazing into Claudio’s eyes, “home is a person.”

“That’s beautiful, Wheeler,” Claudio says. His eyes are fire on Yuta’s, burning with something they’ve said a million times and will say a million more.

“Sometimes home is a person,” Yuta repeats, “because you can come inside.”

Claudio laughs so hard he falls off the bed, curled into a little ball. Yuta grins down at him.

“I got you!” Yuta says. “Hah! I consider this a victory, by the way.”

“You should!” Claudio giggles. He’s beaming when he looks up at Yuta. “That was great!” He wipes at the tears in his eyes and pulls himself back up on the bed. “Did you come up with that on your own?”

Yuta scoffs. “No. The internet has a bunch of good sex puns. I’ve been researching for days.”

Claudio stares at him. “You’ve been researching sex puns to make me laugh for the past few days?” He leans in and cups Yuta’s face in his hands. “Wheeler Yuta, that is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He leans in and kisses Yuta. “Now. Shall we get back to fucking, or are you,” he presses his lips together, “finished?”

“That one wasn’t even good,” Yuta says. He shoves Claudio on his back and slides back down on him. “That, though. That’s good.”

“I know,” Claudio says, “you’ve said as much. Many times.”

“No need to get cocky about it,” Yuta grumbles. He begins rocking, eyes fluttering shut as Claudio’s cock hits his prostate.

“Cocky about it?” Claudio asks. He grabs Yuta’s hips and helps with the motions, building both of them faster toward their release. “Was that another pun, or a happy accident?”

“Call it whatever you want,” Yuta says. Claudio’s hands, tight on his skin, are the only thing Yuta can focus on other than how good it feels to get fucked by Claudio. “Just get me off.”

“Romantic,” Claudio grumbles. “You could at least be in the moment and pretend you love me.”

“Pretend,” Yuta scoffs. “You’re sulking. How would Bryan and Mox react if they saw you acting all sulky?”

Claudio rolls his eyes. “They would not believe you, as you’re the one who sulks.”

“All four of us do,” Yuta replies. He’s about to add more, but then Claudio’s hand is on him and his brain whites out.

“There you are,” Claudio murmurs. “I love you, Wheeler Yuta. Even when you’re being awful.”

It hurtles at him like a freight train, and Yuta’s coming all over the place, messy and unrelenting, as Claudio fucks him into silence.

“Isn’t it nice to be sweet?” Claudio asks. He shoves up into Yuta one last time, balancing Yuta on strong thighs, and Yuta shivers as the aftershocks run into him alongside Claudio’s come.

“Nice to be a bitch,” Yuta says.” He throws a leg off of Claudio’s hips, flopping with his legs on top of Claudio’s. He shoots Claudio a smile. “I mean, that’s what you and Mox and Bryan taught me to do, right?”

“We taught you to be a little shit,” Claudio replies. He grabs Yuta by the waist and hauls him in.

“Same thing.” Yuta relaxes into Claudio’s chest. “I gotta go shower.”

“You’re almost snoring.”

“Yeah, well, you got me wet, so now I have to get myself wet.”

Claudio laughs. “Another pun attempt?”

“No,” Yuta says. He gets off the bed and walks to the bathroom. “Just a fact.” He tosses a grin over his shoulder. “You coming?”

“Fairly certain I already did.”

Yuta thinks he should just give up.

~

Mini Playlist: Sex Talk - Kim Petras Moon - The Cab Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter Feed the Beast - ARIZONA

[niemernuet]

Odi's biggest fan

[johnlockdynamic]

we are thisclose to sexting I am in a long distance relationship except we see each other every day and construct. unpaid personal trainer / client rituals to touch. hate this for me

[thethunderthedragonfruit]

the thing about tailgate is that when you think about it he's actually a little terrifying. and im not even talking about his outlier. like you have to remember that this guy is running off of literally 2 weeks of life experience and then whatever the heck the losers on the lost light are telling him about. yeah hes kinda naive but with that in mind everything he does is like 50x more impressive. dude told like 500 separate lies and managed to cover his tracks thoroughly enough to avoid getting caught for *months*. thoroughly enough to fool ultra magnus and we all know what he's like. autopedia didn't even exist in tailgate's time. he tricked rewind into teaching him how to defuse a bomb and only ALMOST killed a bunch of people. he was bored out of his skull the entire time magnus was teaching him the autobot code but he actually REMEMBERED it. like yeah he falls for getaway's whole shtick but he's literally the only person on board who has an excuse for that kind of thing. literally everyone else has like a million years life experience on him and look at the kind of dumbassery all of them get into. if tailgate hadn't fallen into a hole and blacked out for several million years the war would have been over in 5 minutes real and true. we're all lucky that tailgate's top priority is movie night

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

GOOD OMENS MASCOT HERE, IT'S MY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY ON TUMBLR!

HELLO MAGGOTS I'VE BEEN ON TUMBLR A MONTH (CAN'T REMEMBER WHETHER I JOINED ON 21 OR 22 DECEMBER, SO I'M MAKING THIS POST NEAR MIDNIGHT 21 JAN MY TIME)!

I felt like I should make some sort of post but I am really not sure what to say. And for those of you who may not know, yes I only joined tumblr a month ago. I only was kidnapped into the Good Omens fandom three weeks ago.

For those of you running across this post having no idea who I am, hello, I'm Asmi (uhz-mee), I'm the Official Good Omens Mascot because the fandom decided to uh adopt me as their son, and also am hailed as prophet here. Aside from that clearly scintillating resume, in real life I'm an author, artist and designer.

A brief description of What Happened: I joined tumblr to make a friend or something and spread chaos. A week later, I realised Good Omens was all over my dash but I had no idea what it was, so I made a summary based on what I'd gathered from the screaming. I hoped someone would enlighten me. I had no idea who David Tennant was. Or Michael Sheen.

Instead, 24 hours later and the fandom made an executive decision to kidnap me, install me as mascot, because my sheer dumbassery amused them, and started Good Omens livestreams for me. The coming Saturday will be the final three episodes of season 2. You don't need to warn me, everyone is doing it. Offering emotional support fruit etc.

I also ventured into the Doctor Who fandom. I now know that the TARDIS is blue, not yellow.

It's been three weeks since that happened and, well, here I am. Hello, Tumblr *waves awkwardly* *recollects myself and performs an elaborate bow instead*.

@neil-gaiman also seems to have found the same sadistic amusement in my descent into utter madness as the rest of you. Sir, you have created something marvellous, but some pity would not go amiss. I've gone from not knowing who Crowley is to sobbing uncontrollably over him in three weeks while the fandom rubs their hands in pleasure.

Anyway here is a reminder to all of you maggots, that I love you very, very much, and it is only 57% Stockholm Syndrome. I really, truly love you all. CAN I GET A WAHOO FOR SURVIVING A MONTH HERE?

Cursed take by @1800ineedshelp, you are all free to consider it, if Neil follows my account, does that make him a maggot?

Do with that what you will.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

also this person was like do you think surrogacy is abuse too? like some sort of gotcha. yes i think impoverished women from eastern europe carrying wealthy couples babies for a ridiculously low amount of money is abuse as well.

apparently bodily autonomy is when youre allowed to agree to your own exploitation - which means when others have the right to exploit you if youre in a position where you agree for whatever reason.

fellas. is it fascist to persecute perpetrators of sexual exploitation. the punishment is paying a penalty btw. and you need to know that the nazis imprisoned prostitutes not sex buyers. and forced women in the concentration camps into sexual slavery. but fellas. is it fascist to be against prostitution and recognising that it‘s a system based on, enforcing and profiting from misogyny. fellas. is it fascist to point out that full legalisation increases a demand that can never be met by women who choose prostitution against other viable options. is it fascist to want consent to be freely given and not under financial duress. fellas. is it fascist to care about womens rights, and not consider the right to use somebody else’s body for sexual gratification for payment a win for women. FELLAS

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

March 23rd

~*~

1. Hi. Looking for this fic wherein wwx tried to prank lqr and the elders by acting like a Lan. It backfired because they thought wwx was possessed by Lan An, especially when jwy visited cloud recesses (almost causes a war between jiang and lan). For it to end, wwx pretended to be Lan An and said goodbye then fake fainted (as if Lan An left wwx’s body)

please help me find it 🙏

Hi! I’m from the recent fic finder #1. Unfortunately that’s not what i’m looking for because I remember it being post canon (meaning wangxian are already married). I also remember the Lans asked lwj if lwj still do lovers stuff with wwx (as they really thought wwx was possessed by lan an)

FOUND? Wei Wuxian is Definitely Not Possessed by CursedBlessing (T, 20k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, General Dumbassery, Humor)

#1 I think was deleted. I know the fic they're asking about and I can't find it either.

Number 1 is the correct fic, it's just Chapter 3. / Yeah, 1 IS the correct fic, op's scene is the entirety of ch. 3

~*~

2. Hey, I'm looking for a wangxianfic, in which wei ying and lan zhan are already married. Wei ying goes on a night hunt with the juniors and gets hurt. I think it was a cut on the stomach with poison. Lan zhan cares for him but wei ying is almost dying. Lan zhan is davasteted and says that he can't wait for wei ying again. It was a completed work and I think just 4 chapters. Please can you find the title? With kind regards @smarti1997

~*~

3. I'm not sure if this is something I think happened in a fic, or it really exists, but on the off-chance someone know what I'm talking about - the Sunshot Campaign ends differently with Wen Qing/Wen Ning in charge of the Qishan Wen, and as part of reparations(? Maybe?) the family vaults are revealed. Wen Qing warns people not to touch anything but JGS is too greedy and grabs something and dissolves in dust? And then WQ opens the real vault, the first was to stop thieves. Thank you in advance! @katonahottinroof

I know which fic #3 is talking about but i cannot find it either, gonna go deep dive on ao3 tho (is it that one where the wens have a secret passage into the throne room that opens only with wen blood isnt it. unless im mixing fics too)

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, WangXian, XiQing, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, madam yu bashing (again not completely), MXY Deserves Better) the thing with jgs happen in chapter 34

~*~

4. Hi writing in hopes that someone remembers this fanfiction.:

i once read a fic where LWJ and WWX were stuck in the Xuanwu cave and WWX was i think on the verge of dying but then something emerges from the waters and gives LWJ a deal that if he gives up his voices then as an exchange he can save WWX's life which LWJ obviously does so his voice goes away but by the end of the fic Wangxian go back to the cave where LWJ gets his voice back because he once again strikes a deal with that creature giving up his immortality or something that has to do with him being worshipped for gaining his voice back. was a one shot that i remember clearly and was on ao3 platform also thank you so much cause this blog has bought me my favorite Wangxian fics.

FOUND! Outside Another Yellow Moon by Vamillepudding (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Fairy Tale Elements, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ Needs a Hug, Curse Breaking)

~*~

5. help. hey i am certain the fanfics in my memories exist but they keep on eluding me so there are these 2 fics:

A) the premise of this story was time travel where modern WWX travels back in time when other WWX is living with the wens in the burial mounds when LWJ comes to the borders with his modern counterpart and when modern wangxian meet they have a sweet reunion in which they share a kiss after that they are joined by the hip much to the mortification of OG wangxian. WY's parents are dead (car accident) but madam Lan's alive and he calls her mother or mom and modern them is engaged they also have their phones by which they click a photo and after coming to modern world WY sees that as proof that it actually happened. read it on ao3 muti chaptered (completed) with either 4 or 6 chapters 6 being maximum

B) in this one the main Lan fam is captured body swap between WRH and LWJ occurs and after LWJ realizes what has happen he commands that his body's head be severed which is currently housing WRH's soul and LXC and LQR are present to see that happening and grieve over LWJ not knowing WRH was the one who died and LWJ doesn't inform them about the body swap but tells the guards to take LXC and LQR to their rooms he keeps his own body's severed head in his room also. LWJ asks guards to bring him WWX which they do but injured and WWX sees LWJ's severed head and gets angry he also practices to be more like WRH so nobody suspects this is the most clear i remember there were also i think one appearance of WQ and some from WX and WC was on ao3 ongoing atleast when i was reading think over 5 chapter but under 10 the last i had checked (i was so curios to know what happens next but i lost the fic)

thx and sorry if its too confusing

5B)

FOUND? where the sky begins by Shializaro (Not Rated, 17k, WangXian, Bodyswap, Blood and Violence, Body Dysphoria, Dissociation, Rape/Non-con Elements, Crack Treated Seriously)

~*~

6. Hello! This is for ficfinder, I have lost track of two fics, and would very much like assistance finding them again!

A ) an Addams family style modern au. I cannot remember the title, but Lan Wangji enjoyed the taste of Hemlock tea, Wei Wuxian always dressed in gothic clothes, A-Yuan keeps getting possessed, Wen Ning would die temporarily every now and then then, and the reason Lan Wangji went to Yiling in the first place was to find his mother (madam lan is alive in this one).

B ) Young Prince Lan Wangji fled the palace to avoid an arranged marriage, and met an older Wei Wuxian and traveled with him, keeping his identity a secret. Lan Zichen catches up with them after Wangxian have spent the night together (bottom LWJ), and Lan Zhan is taken back to the palace. Wei Wuxian returns to claim his hand, revealing himself as Baoshan Sanren’s heir. Fix ends with them watching their kids play in Lan Zhan’s mother’s garden.

If you can help me find these, I would appreciate it very much!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ @cullen-blue23

6A)

NOT FOUND🔒The Altogether Ooky WangXian Family by FluffyHippogriff (T, 72k, WIP, WangXian, 3Zun, Modern AU, Addams Family AU, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, mostly because death can be overcome with the help of a little necromancy, Kid Fic, Comedy)

FOUND! lovely thorns and singing crows by isabilightwood (E, 37k WangXian, Modern AU, Addams Family Vibes, meet cute at a funeral, Madam Lán Lives, Light Horror, Curses, Possession, Fluff and Humor, Developing Relationship, Found Family, Weirdo4weirdo wangxian, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs)

NOT FOUND🔒darkness there and nothing more by wvlfqveen (M, 21k, WangXian, Addams Family Fusion, Magical Realism, Body Horror, Addams Family Levels of Violence, Identity Issues)

6B)

FOUND! Beyond These Walls, the Heart Calls by wayward_wing (E, 13k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Adventure & Romance, Prince LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Jealous WWX, LWJ Flirts, Sleeping Together, Masturbation, Slight Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, eating ass, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Getting Together, Naive LWJ)

~*~

7. Hi. I've been trying to find this Untamed fanfic which I bookmarked but somehow is not in my bookmarked collection anymore! :(. I think it's post-canon but WWX (of course) is injured and LWJ is helping him recover, told from LWJ perspective totally in-character where he has to remind himself to breathe. Once,wj returned to inn room, found WWX gone from the 2nd bed and he tripped over his own feet and was "resigned to the fall". Once he tucked WWX into his bed and sat at his desk to breathe.

FOUND? Always Light My Way by cqlorphan (E, 27k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Friends With Benefits, to lovers, wherein dual cultivation may be counted as a benefit, Jealous WWX, a little bit, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, angsty sex, Switch WangXian, Bottom LWJ, Service Top LWJ, Topping from the Bottom, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub Undertones, the angsty sex happens in the beginning but they get past it dw, Oblivious LWJ, archer wwx, Smart WWX, Porn with Feelings, probably at least half of this fic is just that, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dual Cultivation)

~*~

8. thank you again for this wonderful blog! loading up on fics for my next offline trip and i have one that is driving me nuts. I remember seeing the reference here awhile back but for some idiot reason didn't bookmark it. What I remember is something like this : its after canon - Wei Ying is back, its after Guanyin's temple - but Lan Zhan has a soulmate to get back to so leaves Wei Ying alone on the road. that scene in Untamed haunted me. does this ring any bells? appreciate any help!! @oldoni

FOUND! Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers (E, 60k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Case Fic, betrothed to someone else, unfurling of wifexian scrolls: the fic, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension, (it gets resolved lol), WWX POV, Protective wwx, WWX centric, explicit stuff only happens between wangxian, (or wwx and his own hand), Masturbation, get wwx a fainting couch agenda, Alcohol, wwx has some brain problems in this one, Consensual Non-Consent, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, straight boy WWX)

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9. Hello! Please help me find this fic. I don’t remember much, but there was an OC lan elder, who is rescued or helped by Wei Wuxian. I am not sure but Wei Ying didn’t know he was a lan or something. Later on they meet again and elder favours or helps him. I am sorry for being vague, but this is what I remember. It would be great if somebody knows what this fic may be !

Hello, this is requester for number 9. I am really grateful for the person who replied but unfortunately I don’t think that it is the fic I am looking for. As far as I remember wasn’t QHJ, rather an OC lan elder. However I really love the suggestion and enjoyed the fic, so thank you for that!

NOT FOUND The Shadows of My Old Palaces, Falling Across The Moats by ChilianXianzi (T, 8k, WangXian, onesided QHJ/WWX, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, QHJ lives, Domestic, Angst, POV Outsider, Age Difference, Fix-It of Sorts)

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10. for the FF: it was a fic where wx are full time dom/sub (sub wwx), i dont rmmbr much except that theres a part where jc causes a scene fearing lwj is abusing him (bc fulltime d/s, he chooses what wwx eats, wears, etc) and jyl has to tell him to shut up and that her and jzx are in a d/s relationship too! i read it ages ago T^T its not "something so flawed and free" by verseau btw! thank u guys <33 love u all mwah

FOUND! rainfall by daltoneering (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, lifestyle kink, 24/7 D/s, Kink Negotiation, kink discussion, Communication, BDSM, dom lwj, Sub wwx, Top LWJ, Bottom wwx, Kink Exploration, collaring, Body Writing, Breathplay, Orgasm Denial, Bondage, Subdrop, Safewording, Panic Attacks, [Podfic of] rainfall by exmanhater)

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11. Hiii! I don't remember much except for the first few chapters, but the fic was really long. I think the plot started off as "What if the Incident in Qiongdi Path never happened?"

The first chapter or so takes place at Jin Lings one month celebration

Wei Wuxian is really damn depressed the whole time (he's really damn depressed the whole fic actually)

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan never die. Yanli wants to spend time with Wei Wuxian and she makes some soup, but he gets spooked at some point and Wen Ning helps him run away back to the Burial Mounds???

At some point later on in the fic, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli go to Cloud Recesses and they bring some food for Wangxian.

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12. hii :D im looking for a modern au fic where lz works as a in pharmaceutics and meets wy who is the tech guy of their apartment. he calls himself mo xuanyu and lives with ayuan and is trying to escape his past with the help of police officer nmj. i think there was an autistic lz tag in that fic too. it was so good but i think i forgot to bookmark it.. thanks for your help! @harapecowee

FOUND! Stop and Stay by Fantazy_Eyeland7 (M, 98k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/JGY, SL/XXC, WIP, Blood and Violence, Hurt WWX, Kidnapping, Torture, WWX discovering weighted blankets, Pining LWJ, Modern, FBI Agent NMJ, Protective LWJ, Emotional Manipulation, Toxic JGY, not JGY friendly, LWJ learning how to communicate, WangXian have competence kinks, adopting children, Bad Parent YZY, Protective JYL, Protective JC, Protective NMJ, Past Child Abuse, Precious LSZ, Baby LJY, Warning: XY, Blind Character, slaps top of WWX: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Everyone is ending up in well-needed therapy, Child Abandonment, Genius WWX, Obsessive XY, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Eventual Smut, Bad Parent JFM, Junior Quartet Dynamics, (As Babies!), Implied/Referenced Suicide, sort of a slow burn, but not really, because they KNOW, they just can't, Good Uncle LQR, eventually) It doesn't have the austistic!lz tag, but everything else fits.

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13. Hi! 🤗

I'm looking for two fics:

A) A fic where WQ makes a second operation with WWX and JC. The only thing I remember is that WWX is really in a bad condition and they ask JC to give the half of the golden core to WWX. He accepts.

B) I'm not sure if it's one o two fics that I'm mixing, but all I remember is that LWJ when he knows about the lost golden core of WWX, decided to make a second golden core inside him to give it to WWX.

Thanks for the wonderful work! 🥰 @wangxiansgirl

13A)

FOUND! The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

NOT FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) might also be, (around chapter 43)?

NOT FOUND! in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian)

13B)

FOUND? 🧡 Discarded by teawater (E, 178k, WIP, WangXian, Lots of Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect, Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ) If 13B is different from 13A, maybe B is Discarded Lan Zhan creates a "seed core" that Wei Ying can use to grow a new core.

FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, ...eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign)

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14. Im trying to find a fic

It was modern setting and maybe has cultivation still? wwx is a tattoo artist and I believe lwj saw some type dark energy out side his shop. So he went in and ending up saying he wanted a tattoo, wwx was who ended up talking to him about it and making him a design. I think it had something to do with bunnies and, then finally when the day came for lwj to get the tattoo. He’s like I’m sorry I never wanted one, wwx gets upset and tells lwj to pay him money in cash for compensation. Lwj does that’s all I can remember I think wwx might have adopted or least helps take care of a -yuan. @zerokogane

FOUND! Demon Ink by Jade_Valentine (E, 189k, WIP, WangXian, Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Tattoo Artist WWX, Magic, Chaotic Bisexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ, background NieLan, Slow Burn, Angst, But substantially less angst than canon, Mutual Masturbation, Domestic Fluff, Welcome to my LWJ & NHS friendship agenda, Shower Sex, Brief mentions of past Lan Bro abuse at the hands of LQR, wangxian family feels, WWX is the Best Dad Ever, WWX's canonical abuse at the hands of Madam Yu, Blow Jobs, Slight Make-Up Kink)

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15. Fic finder request please!!

This is a short omegaverse wangxia? I think it might’ve been part of a series? where it’s Omega WWX and YZY gets him married off to LWJ where she expects him to be treated badly. Instead bc the Lana treat omegas very well, WWX is happy and content. Meanwhile JYL is jealous that WWX actually got mating bites and equal status bc Jin Zixuan didn’t even do that for her. I can’t remember anything else. 😅

FOUND!🔒Alliance AU by Ilona22 (E, 21k, WangXian, JYL/OC, Arranged Marriage, A/B/O Dynamics, PWP, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Intersex Omegas, Not JC Friendly, Matchmaking, canon Jiang family dynamics, Family time, Night Hunts, Mention of male omega pregnancy, Intrigue at Jinlintai, Mentions of Prostitution, War, Conflict between characters)

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16. Sorry to be asking this(fic finder), I really don’t remember how I got to this fic but now I cannot find it but I feel like it probably was here

It’s a fic about how when wwx comes back to life he meets lxc instead of lwj in Mo manor. he asks for lwj and that confirms to lxc that he is wwx and not Mo xuanyu and asks him to go back with him to cloud recesses where he takes care of lwj who couldn’t heal after the 33 leash punishment.

At first wwx doesn’t want lwj to know that it’s him. He brings him bunnies and helps him re learn how to play the guqin(he cannot play it due to his injuries and because he hasn’t practiced since he was punished) lan Yuan helps wwx to learn how to play it and lwj starts being more active

Lxc is happy and let’s wwx go to a small one week vacation but lwj gets worse that week, he also discovers mxy is wwx I think

Tsm for the help🙇‍♀️

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17. hi! i’m looking for two fics:

A) one where wei ying lives with ghosts and is a teacher and runs into lan zhan for the first time in years during a class field trip

B) all i can remember is that wei ying wrote a software called yiling

17A)

FOUND! won’t take the easy road by twigofwillow (T, 47k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, WWX & WQ, space au, yearning, found family, complicated family feels, ghosts, food, teacher WWX)

17B)

NOT FOUND Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) I think no. 17 might be "Tempo Rubato" but the software is "Stygian"

NOT FOUND The Fated Fortuity by devinokaze (T, 26k, wangxian, WIP, Royalty AU, Modern, Social Media, WWX is Wen Ruohan's son, Qishan Wen Kingdom, stangers to lovers, Prince WWX) The software is called Yin Tiger Tally and Su She tries to claim he wrote it lol.

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18. Hello!! All good? I'm looking for a fic in which WWX becomes a god after his death, I think he's the god of death if I remember correctly. I remember a part where Madam Yu and her Husband (the leader of the Jiang sect) decide to reincarnate... I don't remember much, it's been a while since I read it, another thing I remember is that he communicated with Jiang Cheng through dreams. I already searched the Tag Deity Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian but I didn't find it... Thank you for your work!! @sweettiebah

FOUND! 🔒 Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 88k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, major character death, rape/non-con, underage, graphic depictions of violence, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, God WWX, God Verse, BAMF WWX, Grieving LWJ, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Gods & Goddesses au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Rabbits, Fix-It, Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Castration, Lots of it, repeatedly, Punishment, Hell)

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19. heyy could u help me find a fic, I only vaguely remember the details

I read this quite a while ago, wwx is some sort of courtesan, pretty sure he works in a brothel, lwj is either a cultivator (like in canon) or he's a noble/king smth like that! he meets wwz in the brothel place and I think wwx is pretty sly, MAYBE he's wearing dresses and I'm pretty sure they get married in the end? I think someone in the lan clan is against wwx (either lxc or lqr) and I'm also pretty sure it's a pwp, they might have been conspiring too, it's all very vague! any help would be appreciated thanks!!!

FOUND! 醉 | drunk; intoxication by sweetlolixo (E, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mythical Creature WWX, everyone falls in love with weiying at first sight..., Besotted LWJ, Romance, Pregnant WWX, Fluff)

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20. Hi I’m looking for a fix where sizhui and jingyi travels back to the past (maybe to the conference) and they make commentary during the entire time they were waiting to get back to their present. I think in this fix, sizhui revealed that some of the people (madam Yu and others) are listed on lan zhan’s lists. Sizhui also mentions that lan zhan has several lists for different things. Also jinyi called Jin guangshan jin guangshit throughout the whole time they’re there. Thanks

FOUND? A Room Full of Dead People by BurningBlueDiamond (T, 10k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, but not really, Canon Divergence, Conference in Qinghe but canonically they stay in Gusu, strangely fluffy, POV Outsider)

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[herejusttosufferalong]

That other Tumblr account (we all know the one) has turned into a Luke hate blog it seems, I had to unfollow. I honestly don't know where it comes from. They constantly talk about his ego, when we hear time and time again from his costars that he has no ego and is so sweet and caring. Just because his friends put off a little bit of a duechey vibe on instagram, doesn't mean Luke has a big ego. Plus that is only 1% of someone's life we see. I will choose to believe all of the real moments we have seen since January. Do I wish he would ditch his little girlfriend, absolutely. But I know that will come in time. Thanks for giving us a space to love BOTH L & N!

I haven’t checked that blog in weeks tbh unless someone sends something in an ask

It’s getting hard to stomach

I do agree there are PLENTY of things you can rail on about regarding L’s dumbassery but like damn let the man breathe

I’m also of the mindset that sunlight is the best disinfectant, so let him show us who he is and I will make my judgement from there.

Y’all should do the same and not judge him based off my hot takes or anyone else’s…

[amidnightjen]

The backpack lands at his feet with a solid thunk and then Max is shoving past him, scrambling into the backseat of the beemer with a snapped, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at Eddie but Eddie just shrugs at him and picks up Max’s backpack to toss it into the backseat, (seemingly) uncaring of whether or not it hits her.

Her snarl is a little more vicious than either were expecting and they exchange wary looks before they decide to just get in the car and deal with whatever this is at home.

Steve contemplates the wisdom of stopping for ice cream but he’s not sure Max is fit for public consumption and it seems safer to dig a pint out of the freezer than subject the unsuspecting employees of the Scoops knockoff to Max.

(Steve still has vivid memories of those days.)

When they get home, Max doesn’t say a word, just heads straight for her room. Slams the door hard.

“What the fuck?” Steve wonders. “Did something happen at school?”

Eddie can only shrug, which Steve interprets as Max continuing to avoid Eddie at school because he was in weird pseudo dad/brother territory and she was still struggling to deal with that development.

“Should we check on her?”

For a long moment they both stared at Max’s closed bedroom door.

“I know nothing about teenage girls.”

Steve glares at Eddie. “And I do?”

The look Eddie gives Steve then is amused. He points to Steve. “Very popular, many girls wanted you.” He points to himself. “Gay metalhead freak.”

Unamused, Steve points the Max’s bedroom door. “Teenage girl we both loved enough to kind of adopt.”

They both contemplate that for a moment.

“Should we call Mrs Byers?” Eddie suggests.

Steve is debating the wisdom of seeking help when Max’s door bangs open and she glares at them both.

“You’re both idiots.” It’s said with enough affection that Steve is sure she doesn’t mean it. Mostly.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Boys are dumb.”

“Sure,” Steve agrees because he is one and can confirm that yes they are dumb sometimes.

“Should I kill off Lucas?” Eddie asks.

The idea delights Max if the dark smile she offers them is any indication.

“Okay, retribution for dumbassery coming his way,” Eddie offers cheerfully.

Max smiles genuinely then and Steve sighs in relief. He’s still getting used to being the one caring for Max - legally at any rate - and he’s not sure they should be offering to kill off Lucas’ character as retribution but as long as Max was happy and they weren’t killing anyone in real life, he’d take the smile as a win and maybe have a word with Lucas later.

A threatening word maybe.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Chaotic Dumbassery (Soft Yandere!Friend x Thembo!Reader)

I know I haven't been working on people's submissions, prioritizing kinktober, but I'm having a really tough time and need some light humor in my life

GN!Reader, mild manipulation, mostly fluff ❤️

Hughie was labeled as a "genius" early on in his childhood. At the age of five his parents were already discussing with the local elementary school about starting him off in a higher grade. Despite all of the praises Hughie received from adults, their compliments felt hollow, and the more they pushed him to accelerate his growth realize his potential, the further he felt isolated from the people around him. Emotionally, it was like being trapped as an exhibit in a zoo. They all smiled down at him and cooed, but he could not feel them.

Then, Hughie met (Reader).

Wasting his summer before school began, his parents inside speaking to teachers about letting Hughie skip kindergarten, no one noticed when he slipped out, wandering the empty halls to the playground, where surprisingly a child was playing in the dirt with their parent sitting nearby.

Fat little fingers were poking into the dirt beneath a tree, filling the holes with seeds. Hughie often had no problem speaking to adults, but he didn't have many opportunities to interact with other kids his own age. Nervous to the point of nausea, he approached the kid, gripping his ugly grey polo aggressively enough to stretch out the shirt.

"What are you doing?"

The kid covered in dirt wearing a pizza sauce stained Batman shirt looked up at Hughie with excitement so powerful he could physically feel it burning his face like sun beams. "Planting bird seeds!"

"Oh. Why?"

"To grow birds. Duh." They went back to poking holes and planting the seeds.

The little boy with black curly hair was shocked. He didn't know everything about reproduction, but he knew that birds came from eggs. It was the first time he had ever heard something so preposterous, and it kind of stupefied him. Crouching down to get closer to the strange little kid, Hughie felt star struck. "I don't think that's how birds are made."

"Yuh-huh! Whenever Granny throws seeds out, birds grow, and then in the morning they fly away "

"I think they eat the seeds.."

(Reader's) eyes went wide, dropping their fistful of bird food while whipping around to face Hughie. "Huh?"

"Birds come from eggs."

Standing up quickly, Hughie could see that the kid's knees were covered in bandaids, something he never really needed. They looked down at him like he just told them that Santa wasn't real. "What?!" Before he could reiterate his answer Hughie's arm was grabbed by the much stronger stranger, dragging him over towards the woman sitting on the bench. "Mom!"

"Yes?" The woman smiled with heavy, exhausted eyes.

"Do birds come from eggs?!"

"Yes? Why?"

(Reader) dropped Hughie's hand, their brain malfunctioning under the new information. Hughie started to worry that maybe he had upset them, that maybe he shouldn't have told them the truth, when they suddenly grabbed him by his shoulders, violently shaking him. "What is your name, smarty pants?!"

"Hu-Hughie!" The wild swaying of his head affecting his speech.

"I'm (Reader)! You wanna go catch crickets?"

"Sure-"

"Hughie!" His father's voice cut him off, the smartly dressed man finally finding his son and descending onto the playground. "Don't disappear like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Let's go back inside. The teachers have some questions for you." He said excitedly, motioning towards the school.

Hughie felt a sense of dread. He was smart, really smart, which meant that he knew if he passed the tests waiting for him, he wouldn't be able to be in a class with kids his own age. Which meant that he wouldn't be able to make friends.

"No."

Hughie latched onto (Reader), and decided to act his own age.

"I want to go catch crickets with (Reader)!"

"Yeah!" (Reader) replied, glaring up at the stranger as sassily as a five year old could.

Although that interaction ended with (Reader's) mother apologizing, holding back her child from kicking the man in his shins, and Hughie's father carrying him kicking and crying up to the classroom, it was ended in Hughie's favor. He purposely failed his tests, and when school started up, he was placed in the same kindergarten as (Reader).

The two became inseparable, much to his parents' dismay.

It only got worse as they got older, and even the teachers took notice of Hughie's "double life".

By the last year of middle school, Hughie already proved himself smart enough to get his GED and be enrolled in any university of his choice. But (Reader) didn't know that.

Hughie's mother sighed heavily, finding (Reader) on her doorstep. Hey disdain for the teenager wasn't concealed in the slightest, but it didn't phase (Reader).

"Mornin', Mrs. G! I'm here to pick up the H-bomb."

"I could drive you two." She grimaced. "It's dangerous for two children to walk to school."

"Oh, we won't be walking." (Reader) smiled.

Hughie rushed past his mom, smiling just as brightly as (Reader). "'Sup!"

"Please let me drive you-"

"Bye Mom!" Hughie cut her off, giving her a warning glance before bouncing back to his reflection of (Reader's) joyful attitude. "Let's go, (Reader)."

The two friends ran down to (Reader's) homemade "scooter", an extra wide plank of thin wood with wheels screwed on, painted with flames. It was made by (Reader) and their mom to have enough space for at least three teenagers to comfortably ride, four if they squish together tightly and held on for dear life. It was a hazard, and Hughie loved it.

He loved everything about (Reader), actually. Since he began purposefully fucking up his grades just enough to never get moved up, he had made a good friend group, a group a guys that were a lot of fun to get into trouble with, but his best friend was (Reader). Many people joked that the two were already an old married couple, which (Reader) leaned into, completely unaware of Hughie's feelings. It was strange. And he couldn't explain it to anyone.

(Reader) was his best friend; a sibling; a partner in crime; and someone Hughie recently found himself wanting to kiss silly.

They rode down the sidewalk at top speeds, bumping over rocks dangerously. Hughie wanted to wrap his arms around their waist but couldn't until they picked up their other buds. They stopped by Brody's house, watching him run away from his wooden spoon wielding Grandma, then at Everett's, which finally allowed Hughie the excuse of hugging (Reader). It didn't matter if Brody clung to him similarly; just as long as he was the only one holding (Reader).

The four idiots of Jackson Middle School traveled faster than any of the cooler students on skateboards, speeding recklessly with the force of four teenagers pushing the wooden beast.

Teachers and parents gave disapproving sneers as they barely stopped in time to prevent themselves from crashing into the arriving school buses. Mr. Stone especially.

(Reader) dragged the transportation over to the bicycle rack laughing with Hughie over the fear in the bus driver's eyes when they nearly collided into the side of the bus.

"I don't know why she was so mad, it's not like we were gonna damage the bus!" Brody loudly complained, arms behind his head.

No, it was because we could have gotten hurt. Hughie smiled, not voicing his thoughts out loud. (Reader) wouldn't have this kind of fun with him if they knew that this wasn't his real personality. Calm and studious, Hughie naturally didn't enjoy being outside. He was a nerd at heart, and would prefer reading in solitude to participating in sports. But he would do anything to spend more time with (Reader).

Mr. Stone appeared before the quartet, smiling tightly. "May I have a word, Mr. Gressler?"

(Reader) stuck a finger in their nose. "Huh? He's not on the clock yet."

Everett rolled back his shoulders too try to look bigger. "Yeah, we haven't had breakfast yet."

"I'll catch up with you guys." Hughie waved at them, shooing them away. They left for the cafeteria, still making snarky remarks towards their teacher.

As soon as they were out of sight Hughie's face changed, losing all of his good humor and patience. "What did you want to talk about, Mr. Stone." His teacher's name tasted bitter, so he spit it out.

"Let's go to the principal's office."

They quickly walked through the halls, irritating Hughie. He knew what this was about, and he wasn't interested in the slightest.

Once inside the office, Mr. Stone closed the door, trapping Hughie inside with the grinning older Principal Wells. "Please, have a seat, Hughie." She offered politely.

"No thanks. I need to go to breakfast, so I'd like to make this quick." His hands were in his pockets, and his body leaning on one leg, emphasizing his boredom.

Mr. Stone cleared his throat. "We've been talking about moving your classes around.."

"Why?" His cracking voice snapped.

"We've noticed that.. I believe that your friends aren't the best influence on you." Stone took a deep breath, looking to the principal for assistance.

"After speaking to your teachers I learned that you do exceptionally well when you aren't paired up with one of your friends. If it's a test, or a solo project, your work is incredible. No matter what the subject is, you exceed in every class.. but when you have a project you have to present to a class, in your classes you have with a student named (Reader), you disrupt the day by presenting very odd topics. And when you work with (Reader), you mess around the entire time or create chaos." The principal was referring to two specific instances; Hughie's presentation on how WW2 was responsible for the creation of hentai, and the science fair project he worked on with (Reader) trying to prove that Birds weren't real. Both times he chose the topics just to see (Reader's) face light up.

"Hugh, you're an incredibly bright young man. We want to see you excel." Mr. Stone pleaded.

"I'm not moving up. I'm staying in my classes. We haven't caused any major disruptions that could have interfered with other students learning, and may I remind you that we both got an A minus on that science fair project?" He turned to leave, done with dealing with adults he knew he was smarter than. "And if you move around my classes, I'll go to the superintendent, and the school board. You're discriminating against my fellow students because you believe them to be stupid."

"We never said-"

"I'm not an idiot. They're bad examples on me because we have fun? That isn't the argument you think it is."

"Mr. Gressler, come back here-"

"Unless I'm in trouble, then no. You aren't allowed to prevent me from having breakfast. And if you continue I'll call my mother." Hughie was cold, indifferent. He knew what they were saying, but it was the exact same shit he'd been hearing since he was three years old. He's special, so he's not allowed to act his age.

He left the office and stomped towards the cafeteria. He knew they wouldn't stop embarrassing themselves, but he also refused to back down.

Inside the lunch hall, (Reader) was having a battle with the boys, construction French toast sticks into action figures with pretzel sticks. The sight of (Reader) focused on the fight made Hughie feel funny, releasing an eruption of butterflies. It was okay if he continued lying to his friends, because he could continue playing with them like this.

"Dude, I got you some!" (Reader) held out a plate. They had no idea how much Hughie loved them.

His smile fell, feeling suddenly very hot.

"Dude, you okay?" Everett asked out of concern. "Did you get in trouble or something?"

Hughie couldn't answer, taking the plate silently while avoiding eye contact. Quickly shoving in pretzel crackers like nails, he constructed his own breakfast warrior. "FEEL MY WRATH, LOSERS!"

The friends instantly forgot about their worrying, watching as Hughie's creation punched (Reader's) creation's head off.

It was okay if Hughie kept pretending to be a dumbass, because it was more fun that way. He would gladly sacrifice his entire future to fuck around with (Reader) for the rest of his life. He could see himself, in the future, sharing an apartment with his three amigos, working at some dead end job, playing video games every night after work. It would be better than if he went off to some college and became a lawyer.

If only he could ignore the erratic beating of his heart.

[hannie-dul-set]

— arranged by: member (eldest to youngest) | date (latest to oldest) | type (full-length to drabbles to blurbs) i don’t recommend reading my older works because they’re terrible. still putting them on here for the sake of bookkeeping | last updated: 23.12.18 

BLUE HYDRANGEAS. wherein this time, it’s your breath that gets taken away and not the other way around.

PAIRING. lee taeyong x reader. GENRE. romance, humor, light angst, and of course the overall theme of the event  — dumbassery (this time, by y/n), florist! taeyong, contract killer! reader. WARNINGS. murder, death i mean lol, violence, swearing, mentions of blood, knives, & guns. WORD COUNT. 2.2k.

MISSED TIMINGS. drabble game; “do i look like i’ve moved on?”

PAIRING. lee taeyong x reader. GENRE. post breakup! au, angst. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 887.

CAUGHT RED HANDED. all you wanted to do was take a picture of the handsome law student during your train ride home. you did not expect things to end up like this.

PAIRING. kim doyoung x reader. GENRE. fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 804.

A FOOL’S GAME. were you the fool for being blind to his intentions? or was it he who forgot what his intentions were in the first place?

PAIRING. jung jaehyun x reader. GENRE. royal! au, drama, romance, angst, slight comedy. WARNINGS. swearing, mentions of death. WORD COUNT. 27.4k.

CONTRARIETY & CONFLUENCE. there was not an instance in your life where your judgement was proven to be mistaken— especially with regards to infatuations outside of your own. after an unpredicted introduction with a far too remarkable farm boy, you took it upon yourself to find a suitable match for him, not realizing that perhaps this time; your usual correct judgements might have been incorrect.

PAIRING. jung jaehyun x reader. GENRE. emma! au, matchmaking! au, strangers to lovers! au, slowburn, period romance, humor, one suggestive scene, very very tiny angst. WARNINGS. implied and borderline smut. WORD COUNT. 16.9k.

[doctor! au] [richkid! au] [sugardaddy! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse]

PUT A FINGER DOWN. wherein mark lee finds you drunk for the first time and promises to himself that he should make sure that you never get wasted ever again.

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. college! au, humor, fluff, suggestive, drunken mistakes that would probably make you cry in real life. WARNINGS. swearing, alcohol consumption, mature content (sexual & explicit jokes about fingers and — u get the gist) please read at your own discretion. WORD COUNT. 1.6k.

BIBINGKA. legend says that if you finish all nine night masses of simbang gabi, your wish will be granted. mark only hopes that it’s actually true because that’s his last chance in getting you to notice him (but wait— shouldn’t his wish only come true after the nine days?)

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. christmas! au, crush! au, lots of fluff, mark is a piner, mark is also very awkward, some filipino references and customs. WARNINGS. swearing, religious themes. WORD COUNT. 6.9k.

HOW TO GET THE GUY. drabble game; “why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. college! au, friends to lovers! au, fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.2k.

IS IT BECAUSE YOU’RE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ME? video call with your best friend, mark lee.

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. long distance (not so relationship) relationship, mutual pining, angsty themes. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 428.

[hotsauce! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse] [coworkers! au] 

DO YOU WANT ME (DEAD)? murder and making out.

PAIRING. huang renjun x reader. GENRE. high school! au, suggestive. WARNINGS. attempted murder, mentions of blood and self injury, veryy descriptive kissing, mc has a few screws lost, swearing, depictions of unstable behavior. WORD COUNT. 1.8k.

[friends to lovers! au] [skater! au] [skater! au] [tough love! au] [mermaid! au] [tutor! au]

I (HAVE/HAD) A CRUSH ON YOU. running into a past crush at your best friend’s birthday party wouldn’t have been so bad if he wasn’t— well— all that.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader GENRE. crush! jeno, college! au, rom-com, mildly suggestive moments. WARNINGS. swearing, smoking, mentions of dicks and balls (sorry), an awful amount of men and boys being boys. WORD COUNT. 5.8k

I’LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT AND NO ONE ELSE’S. maybe snooping through your friend’s phone wasn’t that much of a good idea. or maybe it was. either way, you didn’t regret it.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader. GENRE. friends to something, fluff, lots of bickering. WARNINGS. swearing, invasion of privacy(?) lmao. WORD COUNT. 2.1k.

IT’S FOR YOU. all it took was the heavy rainfall from the sky to clear up your misunderstandings.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader. GENRE. e2l (sort of), fluff. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.5k.

[ceo! au] [spacecore! aesthetic] [hotsauce! au] [bf discourse]

KATHANG ISIP. musings of the mind and heart are always dangerous— it’s easy to get carried away and get lost in your made up scenarios, rose colored wishes, and fleeting daydreams of what you thought would be. that is until reality hits you like the crashing of an ocean’s waves.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. roommates! au, college! au, brief roadtrip! au, angst, fluff, humor. also let’s pretend hyuck cannot drive and that his hometown is elsewhere for the sake of plot, thanks. WARNINGS. swearing, alcohol consumption, one descriptive kissing scene, lots and lots of overthinking. WORD COUNT. 19.8k

DATING 101. drabble game; “you’re not very intimidating”.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. highschool! au, fluff, slight suggestive, slight humore, wannabe badboy! haechan. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 678.

SHAMELESS. drabble game; “did you just— did you just kiss me?” “yeah” “do it again”.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. enemies! au, fluff, humor, co-worker! haechan. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 997.

[grunge! aesthetic] [lipstick! au] [bf discourse]

CAN’T HANDLE THIS. how are you supposed to explain that you and na jaemin started dating just to prove each other wrong and ended up catching feelings.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. strangers to lovers, college! au, matchmaking! au, yet another richkid! au, jaemin is an asshole again, romance, humor. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, a near death experience, drinking and smoking, more than a handful of illegal shit, mentions of vomit, blood, violence, too much sexual tension it’s unhealthy, again jaemin is kind of a dick but he’s an attractive dick, jaemin also likes it when you tell him his personality is trash. WORD COUNT. 16k.

IT TAKES FOUR YEARS TO GROW A PEACH TREE. humans are fickle in nature— it takes a great deal of patience, fortitude, and devotion to have a heart that remains constant. that or having an absolute tolerance for all pain and torment that comes in exchange.

so when you are once again met by the ex-boyfriend that you’ve desperately avoided for four years after tearing up his heart, it becomes a test of how much you can endure, and how much more you’re willing to endure after realizing that you’re still in love with him when his love has already been weathered down.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader GENRE. exes to lovers! au, college! au, romance, angst, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, SLOW AS FUCK BURN, pining, lots of pushing and pulling, the “its always been you” trope, a modern retelling-ish of jane austen’s persuasion. WARNINGS. swearing, heartbreak, alcohol consumption, parental pressure, stress and anxiety, one scene with a nosebleed, jaemin is kind of a dick in the beginning, mentions of hospitals, one scene with a creep, one makeout scene, ghosting, breakup, a lot of me projecting. WORD COUNT. currently 54k.

ARAW-ARAW. mahiwaga— someone or something that you’ll choose every single day no matter the circumstance. and for you, that was na jaemin. even if time decides to set you apart.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. childhood friends to lovers! au, college! au, romance, slow-ish burn, fluff, humor, tiny angst, biology major jaemin and art major mc HEHE. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, insecurities, some sex jokes LMAO, i project a lot in this i’m sorry JSFJG. WORD COUNT. 14.5k.

US, AGAIN. they say history repeats itself, but you’d like to disagree. you had to disagree. history changes, even if you had to force it. but when all your attempts to twist fate were met by nothing but the flashing recurrences of the past, what were you supposed to do?

or, wherein you try everything in your power to have nothing to do with na jaemin, but na jaemin wants nothing but you.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. college! au, historical! au, soulmate! au, past lives, forbidden love stuff, reincarnation, romance, drama, humor, angst, fluff, looots of flashbacks, this is an entire kdrama, very loosely inspired by the webtoon “see you in my 19th life”. WARNINGS. (updated as the series goes on) character death/s, night terrors, murder, terminal illness, hospital mentions, gun mentions, inaccurate depictions of the joseon era for the sake of plot lmao. WORD COUNT. currently 4.9k.

TOP OF THE WORLD. things had always been the same in the world of na jaemin— him sitting on a throne above everyone else. that was the natural order. but the world as jaemin knew it began to shake after a few fated encounters with someone at the bottom of the food chain.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. private school! au, one sided e2l lmao, a dash of fake dating, romance, heavily suggestive themes, lots and lots of sexual tension and power dynamics. WARNINGS. bullying (lots of it), public humiliation, mildly nsfw, borderline smut, implied smut, swearing, jaemin being a literal asshole. WORD COUNT. 15.6k.

HOSTILITY. making out with the person you hate the most.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. suggestive, stageplay! au. WARNINGS. making out, swearing, reader tells jaem to k himself, reader spits on jaem’s face and he does something…questionable. WORD COUNT. 438.

DO IT AGAIN. maybe you should have paid more attention to your boyfriend. he isn’t always petty, but he has his limits.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. fluff, established relationship! au. WARNINGS. alcohol consumption, kissing. WORD COUNT. 576.

DON’T THINK, JUST DO. an overthinker, a piece of advice, a sudden confession, and a subtle meltdown.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. high school! au, f2l, fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.6k.

WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO. drabble game; “i need a hug”.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. high school! au, maybe secret relationship! au, fluff, light humor. WARNINGS. swearing, mentions of food. WORD COUNT. 988.

[secret agents! au] [richkid! au] [boyfriend! au] [neighbor! au] [spiderman! au] [softcore! aesthetic] [racer! au] [vampire! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse] [best friends to lovers! au] [reincarnation! au]

[johnny royal! au] [yuta punk! aesthetic] [yuta bf discourse] [kun richkid! au] [jungwoo royalcore! aesthetic] [jisung bf discourse]

NCT & WAYV MASTERLIST. © hannie-dul-set.

[the-heartlines]

i am really pissed off today and want to take a moment to rant about holier than thou antis and their fucking dumbassery.

on twitter, i received a ton of harassment (about my age mostly lol cuz you know once you turn 30 you're immediately considered elderly and need to join a nursing home 💀💀💀) and some anonymous death threats on my curious cat in the last WEEK—all over shipping ghoulcy, including one rpf walt/ella twt, & for writing ghoulcy dead dove & daddaughter incest fics. not blacking out names because fuck that shit. you reap what you sow.

there's a ton of negative qrts on those twts and thankfully my fellow shippers and moots have been extra supportive, but i am so sick and tired of the antis and their ability to not separate fact from fiction.

i am fucking sick and tired of the same antis shipping things like jackieshauna (which i ship immensely by the way!) and other ships (villanelle x eve and hannigram come to mind) and having this mentality that if you ship other toxic fucked up ships in a dead dove way, you're a "*insert buzzword here* (including pedo, rape apologist, pornsick addicted freak) who needs to be locked up. also kys!"' these assholes care more about the fictional fake made up characters than an actual human being this vitriol is being thrown at and im so disgusted and disappointed with each passing year, seeing this conservative, puritanical form of mentality take shape and get worse and worse...and i don't know what the fuck to do about it and am scared for the future generations who are dealing with this absolute disgraceful nonsense because no one and i mean NO ONE should be telling anyone to kill themselves over any damn fictional ship!

anyways, i had to rant about this because it's been BUGGING me because i have gotten a lot of vitriol from hotd stans for other ships i like and see potential in. and it's so awful that any kind of shipper deals with this at all. and we need to call these fuckers out and un-normalize this behavior before it gets even worse for the future generations. and it's crazy and baffling that this needs to be said but here i go anyways:

writing or creating or consuming any kind of dead dove content, doesn't mean you condone it in real life. it doesn't make you a rape apologist, a pedophile, or a porn sick addicted freak. people have been doing this shit since the beginning of time and if this shit squick you out, makes you uncomfortable, you need to block/mute/dni/ignore with this kinda content, keep your mouth shut, or gtfo. because it never gives you the right to treat an actual human being lower than dirt and wish death upon them.

[absentlyabbie]

"taxation is theft" still has got to be one of the stupidest fucking sentiments i've heard uttered by purportedly intelligent adults.

say that shit and all i hear is

"i am an asshole and don't care about anyone other than me and my immediate circle and i resent being required to be part of this community even though i continue to benefit from it"

"i have been very lucky in my life and have never needed to rely on any social safety net service or support and i think that's because i am smart and work hard and make good choices"

"i have absolutely no real understanding of the purpose of taxes or how they work but seeing the math on my paycheck makes me angry"

"i do understand the purpose of taxes and how they work, but seeing the math on my paycheck makes me so angry i don't give a fuck about anyone else or what those taxes are for"

the stupidest fucking shit. it ain't that you think the current tax system is unfair or that the tax burden is unfairly/unevenly distributed or that tax moneys are applied to things you don't like or disagree with or is being directed wastefully or inappropriately,

or you would be calling for tax reform.

"taxation is theft" and your dumbassery is a fucking assault on my consciousness.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

possessed, m | jjk, myg

pairing(s): jungkook x reader x (minor) yoongi

summary: Burning hot. Freezing cold. An all-consuming addiction to subspace that dominates every centimeter of Jeon Jungkook's mind. There is nothing to stop him when his favorite psycho demon bitch is just as crazy as he is. He'll do anything to get his fix.

collared au chained, yg | tainted, jk | twisted, jk+yg | wicked, jk+yg | burned, jk+yg

warnings: rated M (18+) for language - [!!!!] dangerous temperature play, do not attempt! I warned you, this is fiction, I am not responsible for your dumbassery; JK is dangerously deep in subspace and, if you feel like him, you need to take a step back and reevaluate; intense D/s smut (fem reader, fire play, pain kink, hair-pulling kink, marking from burns / bites, mentions of m-masturbation, spit kink, ice play, nipple play, handjob, m and f-receiving oral, cock-and-ball torture, forced orgasms, overstimulation, face-sitting, cum-eating, humiliation kink, voyeurism); non-idol!AU - sub!Jungkook x goth, dom!reader + surprise sub!Yoongi at the end; JK's POV ad he's an extra subby pain slut; can be read alone

--

“You like fire?”

Fuck, Jeon Jungkook liked anything if his favorite crazy bitch was doing it to him.

“You bring the match and I’ll be the kerosene,” he breathed into her intoxicating kiss.

She laughed and he swallowed it.

His friends had been telling him he had become quite cool these days. He had changed his fashion a bit, going for the heavy black jackets and ripped jeans and old band t-shirts. He used to think he needed to uphold a façade in public, but now he realized that he didn’t care that much. He cared a lot more about how she viewed him. On sore says, Jungkook wore baggy athleisure and made sure his hood was up to hide the marks from his collar.

He was wearing his sweat sets a lot these days.

He pulled away, wanting to look at her again.

They stood facing each other. She grinned. Mischievous, sexy, and an extra psychotic glint in that fashioned heterochromia stare. Left iris covered with a flat white contact. Right iris as real as it got. He bit the side of his lip, feeling his second lip piercing press against his teeth. He had stripped his hoodie off like she asked, leaving him in only his mesh shirt in her cold studio office. The door was locked, leaving him at her mercy.

His nipples hardened as she held up the box of matches.

Who was she?

His lover. His maker. His lifeline. His only reason to exist was to be her sexual punching bag. Fuck doll. Cum dumpster. Whatever she wanted him to be on that day. He could be anything. Better if it was with malice and to his detriment. This wasn’t a game to him anymore. This was everything.

She.

Was.

Everything.

She struck the match against the sandpaper, grinning wider as the flame burst into life.

He could feel the heat against his chin.

The excitement.

The anticipation.

The arousal seizing his blood, searing downward to his cock, making it swell and pulse.

Jungkook used to feel guilty about his fantasies. After all, they were born from despair and a need to be someone he wasn’t. But his past haunted him. His dreams of love had been burned against his will, turned into scorched earth by someone he used to have faith in. He had loved someone will all his heart and she stomped on it, took a shit on it, and threw him away. Cheated on him with multiple partners and laughed in his face. When he left, he vowed to become a different man, but that turned out to be a lot more difficult than he thought. It seemed impossible to escape the constant daily misery. He questioned everything he did, his actions for others marred by her taunts, reminding him he had been so easy to take advantage of, reminding him constantly that he believed in all the wrong things.

Love.

Truth.

Heaven.

But, then, a goth bitch from hell changed everything.

He had to thank Min Yoongi for that.

She brough the flame closer, exhaling so he could feel her hot breath and smell the cinders.

He craved his penance for having faith. He craved to forget. He craved to make the constant loop of self-deprecation stop. It was all a mistake thinking that love couldn’t be foul poison. All snakes concealed themselves in good intentions. He craved to feel something besides the sadness, vowed to replace it with something stronger. Something rawer. Something innate, even more so than that poison called love. He learned it was okay to make mistakes. He learned to be was okay to be fractured, because there was something that could make him whole.

Pain.

Pain made him perfectly, completely, blissfully whole. He adored excruciating pain most of all. The more unavoidable and unbearable, the better.

She struck the flame across his collarbone and he gasped.

The match snuffed out with the speed.

A thin tendril of smoke slithered in the air, indicating the end of the fire, but he could still feel the sting on his skin. The heat had melted the threads of the thin mesh. The glint in her eyes, maniacal. Devouring. Eating up his reaction like it was feast. She flung the used match away and, before it had the chance to hit the floor and snap, he was groaning in agony as her fingers tore at the still-hot burn, the hurt slicing through his body in an erotic shudder.

His shirt ripped.

Jungkook looked down, seeing a red-hot mark on his chest.

If pain was beauty, then she was about to turn him into a pretty, pretty bitch.

His head snapped back up.

The corners of his lips rising, matching her insanity.

Her eyes glowed as she lit another match.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot when you want pain,” she snickered and struck the flame over his chest again.

He moaned, lustful and grateful.

Why should I struggle to find someone to walk through hell with me when I can just find hell and burn in it of my own free will?

He moaned at the pain, shuddering against the wall as she tore his shirt again, exposing the blistered skin. Match. Melt. Nearly burned. Torn away. He could feel the intensity radiating off her gaze, eagerly consuming the marring of his body. Building the hunger. His breathing shallowed as she traced an unlit match against his tense abs, leaning forward. Her lashes lowering, savoring the way his chest rose and fell shakily as he felt that rough pinprick drag across his skin.

Why fade when I can burn?

She raised the matchstick, holding it in his view.

Broke it in half right by her cheek.

He whimpered, longing for the torture. She dropped it, breathing out hotly over his trembling lips. The burns were significant enough to hurt for a couple days, but shallow enough to not leave a permanent mark. Somehow, she knew just the right pressure. His blood boiled. A rehearsed action? Practiced? On who? Then despair bled in. Not him.

He wanted it to be him.

He whimpered, tangling his fingers into the holes of his shirt and tearing at the irritated skin more, pain ricocheting over his nerves, his body screaming at him to stop, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the consequences. He didn’t care what anyone thought. He didn’t care if his body could take it or not. He didn’t care if he bled. He wanted this.

He needed this.

Jungkook used to feel guilty about his fantasies, but the desire to be abused was so much stronger.

She lit another match with a raise of her eyebrow.

Flicked it over his fingertips.

His hand recoiled reflexively and he cursed his body for rejecting the flame. He wanted to cover it with his palm, feel his skin blister as he snuffed out the fire, but she danced the light away from him, shooting it across his left forearm. Instantly, the piercing discomfort made him cry out, and then again the threads were torn, nearly ripping the sleeve clean off. He could almost, almost feel the individual tugs each melted thread, and his eyes rolled back at the thought.

She slapped his arm, right across the singed skin.

His knees buckled in fiery ecstasy.

His hips thrust up and into her crotch. The bulge in his jeans caused the hem of her short skirt to flip upward. He was so hard that it was embarrassing. Deliciously shameful. His cock ached for more. He wore jeans on purpose so he could feel the frustration of the metal zipper struggling to cage him down. He heard the sound of her stepping forward, a weighty clink of chains and heavy sole, and her body practically pinned him to the wall, one of her legs jammed between his. Tilting, making him wince as her thigh collided with his erection, but she didn’t seem to notice or care, cocking her head and leaning back to light another match.

His breathing was so shallow that he was nearly hyperventilating.

Staring at her, wide-eyed and unsatiated.

“The fuck you looking at?” she spat, her lip curling.

Then she grabbed his face with her left hand, forcefully turning it to his right, the matchbox in her palm cutting into his cheek. He gasped at the force, and then froze as he felt blazing heat against his exposed neck, right above his racing pulse.

She leaned forward.

She was crazy.

He loved it.

“You’re so fucked up, Jungkook.”

Yes, he was. He was. Burn me. Burn me, he wanted to scream, but her hand was clamped over his mouth and his entire body was vibrating uncontrollably. The flame right above his neck. The moment must have lasted less than a second but fear and anticipation turned it into another lifetime, suspended in terror before known pain, and then.

A swift, cool puff of air.

The acrid stench of cinders.

Tendrils of smoke swirling around his face.

It took him a moment to realize she had blown out the match but before he could comprehend the despair, she sank her teeth into his neck. He choked behind her hand, mostly from shock, his hands flying up and gripping her waist. The flimsy distressed sweater barely covered her bra, let alone block his hands, and he was able to grip skin-on-skin, digging his nails into her flesh as he moaned behind her hand, flourishing in the anguish, delicious pain radiating from her ravenous mouth biting and breaking blood vessels under his skin, bruising him.

Marking him.

Turning him into her possession once again.

He heard the audible crack of the used match next to his ear. Three of her fingers hooked into his open lips and pressed against his tongue, her almond-shaped nails digging into the wet muscle. He groaned, tasting burned air and iron at the back of his throat. And the pain, the pain. Her mouth moving all over his neck. A necklace of bruises, followed by her drenched tongue creating a thread of saliva to connect them, her spit mixing with his sweat and running down his chest.

Oh, how he wished he could watch himself being abused right now.

Sometimes, that was all Jungkook could think about.

Like an addict chasing for next high, and the next, and the next, never enough. When they couldn’t meet, Jungkook would look at himself in the mirror, naked, and trace the marks she left. On his neck. Over his chest. Decorating his thigh. Along his hip. Purple and red and pink, including those with the nasty green-yellow twinge on the way to recovery. Wanting more. He had scars on his heart, so why not on his body too? That was why he got the tattoos and the piercings. He loved to see her eyes light up when he got a new one, pulling him closer to inspect him, closer to feel her breath on his skin, turned on by his pain.

He even liked knowing he wasn’t her only one.

He would touch himself, running his fingers over the marks, over his hard nipples, imagining any second that she would walk up behind him. Hoped she could witness how greedy he was for the pain. Aching to feel her long fingernails clawing over his chest. Red lines of sin. His own fingers curling inward, attempting to mirror her force, gripping his cock and rubbing the head until it was red and raw, reliving the memories, drowning in them, his black hair falling over his glazed-over eyes, breathless shudders escaping his open mouth, watching his reflection fall apart and wishing she could see it too, waiting for that heterochromatic stare to rise behind his shoulder, one dark eye and one stark white.

Her rough, harsh whisper heating his shoulder.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she growled down at him.

She had grabbed him and thrown him onto her desk, sending pens flying, his back colliding with hard wood and his legs hanging off the side. His torn shirt tore even more. His hands had flown down, gripping the zipper of his jeans and pressing down.

He froze at her command, raising his head slowly, eyes wide.

She forced his knees apart.

He gasped, his swollen cock bulging even against the thick fabric, too hard to be confined. She stepped even closer, her short black pleated skirt bunching up, and she reached down with one hand to blanket it over his crotch, making the tent all the more obvious and contained.

In her other hand, she held a glass full of ice.

So that was what was sitting on the minifridge when he walked in.

She smirked.

A little psychotic, a little mischievous, a lot sexy.

“You're runnin' hot. Let me help you with that.”

And, even though Jungkook knew it was coming, even though he could see her pick up an ice cube with her fingers, even though his body was aching from bruises and burns, he still nearly screamed when the ice cube was shoved into his hard nipple, shock shooting throughout his nerves at the cold, moaning as she rubbed it back and forth, rapidly melting water mixing with sweat and spit.

He fell back against the desk with a dull thunk, writhing, trying to move away and trying not to move at the same time, his back arching towards it. Sinful pleasure rising to new, uncharted territory. Her low laughter rang throughout the room, swiping the ice cube over one of his fresh burns, and Jungkook bit back a howl, his hands flying up and grasping his hair, pulling at it, adding pain on shock.

Her name dragged out of his throat, desperate and raw.

The melted cube slid off and hit the floor.

Neither of them cared.

“What’s the matter?” Her rough voice was deeper than usual, slipping into her satoori. “Can’t take it?”

She ran another all over his neck and his head hit the desk, ice to bruised skin, freezing his sudden goosebumps, his depraved moan directed to the ceiling. Cold liquid seeped down onto the nape of his neck, into his hair, onto the desk under him, into the remnants of his mesh shirt, and then the ice travelled back down, abusing his other nipple. Hard nub to cold stinging, morphing into wicked pleasure, turning him on so much that it was intolerable.

His hands flew back down to his jeans.

This time she didn’t stop him, grinning, dragging the frozen cube down, down.

Over his tightened core, the melting ice making his cut abs glossy and glistening.

She swept it around his lower belly as he fought his pants, gasping and squirming, his cheeks burning as he realized his boxer briefs were soaked with pre-cum, nearly sobbing as his erection was freed. The heavy, pungent scent of semen hit the air, accompanying the burning smell. His jeans were heavy with his belongings and instantly clunked to the ground. His boxer briefs tangled by his calves, sliding down from her opening his legs wider.

He looked down.

Thick, dark red, his stiff cock sticking upwards.

Begging for it.

He gripped his tense thighs, knowing what was coming and not wanting to stop her.

Her wrist flicked.

The ice cube plopped into her palm and then she gripped his cock, pressing the small hard object into his even harder cock, stroking up and down without hesitation. His head snapped back and he nearly saw stars, his fingernails digging into his thighs, the cold point overcome by her hot hand, shock and pain and pleasure and immoral desires all rolled into one.

She hovered over him, grinning madly from ear-to-ear, delighted by his reaction.

A demon of lust overcome by her power.

The small remainder slipped out of her palm and hit his balls, sliding off with a prickling line of ice-cold water, but Jungkook was trapped by her wild eyes, absorbed by their shared insanity, panting hard, her punishing grip deliberate and intense, his hips bucking to every pump of his cock, his tongue sliding out, tasting the air. Pre-cum, cinders, her bittersweet perfume. Losing himself to the uncontrollable shivers all over his body and the prickling latticework of his nerves attempting to keep up with the piling sensations. Nearly crying when she stopped jacking him off, pulling away so he could see how swollen he had become.

Squatting down.

Her piercing stare above the throbbing, purple-red tip.

The glint in her eye.

Sadistic.

She was so beautiful, just like this.

He heard a clink of the glass touching the floor. Another ice cube appeared in her left hand. Wordlessly, she brought it to his length and pressed it to his hot shaft. Jungkook winced, clawing at the insides of his thighs to stop himself from flinching away from the cold, and then watched in fascination as the veins become more prominent, his length reddening, violently turned on by it, his cock twitching and pulsing, his body too confused on whether to back down or continue being aroused.

The ice cube slipped down, to his balls, and he bit back a yelp, immediately feeling them pull closer to his body, but she gripped his cock again, pumping him hard and fast, smearing freezing circles over his balls at the same time, causing cold water to drip down his legs and onto the floor, the fat droplets creating audible plop, plop, plops.

He couldn’t think.

Couldn’t breathe.

So good that he could only moan helplessly and thrust up into her hand. She gripped him, tighter, spitting onto her fingers, slicker, wetter, hot and cold and the unbearable ache between his legs, his shoulder blades pressing into her desk, his spine arched to the brink, begging, pleading, d-don’t s-s-stop, the pitch of her name becoming feverish as the ice slipped and skidded over the floor, but it didn’t matter, didn’t matter because she grabbed his balls instead, wrapping her fingers around them and squeezing.

“H… H-Harder…!”

His hair was stuck to his face, his eyes rolling back, his tongue hanging out of his open mouth, forcibly pushed to orgasm with the punishing clamping of his balls, and it all came down with a crash, the air crushed out of his lungs with a carnal cry, his cock violently jerking, shooting out a stream of thick cum that was quickly covered by her mouth, sucking it off with a lewd slurp. His hips snapped back from the whiplash of overstimulation but there was nowhere to go and he found himself wetly begging, almost sobbing, k-keep going, make me cum a-again, please…!

On the brink of agony and dependent on it.

“Please, don’t s-sto– oh, fuuuuuuuck…!”

Her mouth completely covered him, now two hands on his balls, tugging them in different directions, her knuckles closing in, locking. Pulsating around the delicate skin and sending him into blinding pleasure, on the edge from her wrapped tongue and steady abuse, and somehow she knew the exact amount of cruel pleasure to inflict that was almost, almost too much. Up and down, her punishing tongue pressing him to the roof of her mouth. Down her throat. Tight. Wet. Suffocating. Sucking. Spit leaking out and dripping down to his balls. Sticky, milky from his cum. The head of his cock was so sensitive that he could feel every ridge on the roof of her mouth and the pinch of her slippery throat muscles choking him.

He came so hard that his vision went black.

Hoarsely screaming her name.

She stopped moving her head but sucked him dry, swirling her tongue around and around and around.

His skin burned, his chest tight, his crotch ice cold.

Jungkook blinked hard, trying to come down, mind foggy and hazy from the back-to-back orgasms that had expended his consciousness. Blurred vision, shaking hands, his knees buckling. Coldness. He could hear clunking, sense movement, but his vision was blurred by his own tears, distracted and disoriented by his high.

Then his vision went black again and her bare pussy collided with his open mouth.

He gasped under the unexpected weight, her knees by his head and her hands clutching his hair, pushing the crown of his head back, pressing her wet pussy into his face. Sweet slick smeared onto his lips and slipped down into his mouth, and he was obsessed, possessed, latching on and thrusting his tongue inside, her skirt blanketed over his head. He couldn’t see anything. He didn’t care. She sat on his face, her thighs pressed to his cheeks, and he clawed up his own body, sinking his hands into her soft ass to put more of her weight on him, moaning into her wet folds, covering himself with her juices.

It stuck to his lips, his cheeks, his jaw.

He curled his tongue around her clit and coaxed it with licks, hearing her growl in satisfaction, her grip tightening in his hair. Grinding on his face, smothering him, but he didn’t care, wanted it, needed it, licking, sucking, drinking down her slick, straining his neck to close his lips around that elusive bundle of nerves and making it his.

Hard, primal exhales up above, riding his face and chasing the high.

“You’re such a pain slut.”

A man’s voice.

Raspy and smokey.

Amused.

Jungkook became highly aware that he was mostly naked, legs trembling from tension, spent cock bouncing in the air. On his back and pinned to a desk with pussy molded to his mouth, half-crushed by being sat on, his face covered by a short skirt and his hands molded to the juicy curve of her ass.

And he liked it.

No.

He loved it.

He ached for it.

He made an effort to be more noisy, more obvious, licking and sucking, his wanton moans muffled in his chest, rolling his body up into hers, earning another tug at his hair and a dark laugh some ways away, the Daegu satoori slipping out due to arousal.

“Yeah? You like me watching?”

She snickered, wicked and husky from approaching orgasm.

“Of course. He’s a fuckin’ freak just like you, Yoongi.”

He could hear the heavy tap, tap of boots. He felt her arch, a soft moan emitting from her lips, and he whined under her as her pussy spasmed and spilled onto his chin, her taste becoming sweeter, less viscous, stark. He sucked it all up, noisily, his forehead damp with sweat, but not stopping, running his tongue up and down her slit, shoving his tongue into her pulsing hole.

“Listen to him. He’s so desperate to make you cum in front of me,” the low, deep voice of Min Yoongi hummed. “You really gonna show me that face while he’s doing dirty things to you?”

Her teasing voice was daring, cold.

“Yeah, I am.”

Jungkook couldn’t see and could barely breathe, but he could hear just fine.

“Come here, then. Take out your dick. Prove to me that you aren’t hard.”

She curved her hips and Jungkook released the strain on his neck, gulping down a sticky, much-needed breath, and then he had to blink hard as light suddenly flooded his vision. Something brushed up against his upper arm. Rustling fabric. He heard a wispy sigh, and looked up to see the dark, cat-like eyes of Min Yoongi narrowed down at him, framed by long strands of black hair.

Jungkook stared right back and pressed his lips to her clit, making her moan with his tongue, her cum seeping down his neck.

Another stare joined Yoongi’s. One dark iris, real. One fake iris, vivid white. She grinned, sending another flare of wicked want through him, acutely aware of the indecent position he was in. A little psychotic, a little mischievous, a lot sexy. Her left hand gripped her skirt, bunching it at her waist, and the other was on the desk, allowing her to hunch over him.

She licked her teeth.

Carnivorous.

“Guess what, Jungkook?”

His eyes widened as he felt fabric slide down past his arm.

“Yoongi’s hard watching you eat me out.”

There was the audible slap next to his head, right onto her thigh. She rolled her hips into his mouth, and he opened up, sucking on her clit as he heard a soft hiss, seeing the shoulder of Yoongi’s black long sleeve move. Hearing the back-and-forth slaps. Smelling the scent of pre-cum once again, but someone else’s, smearing right onto her quivering thigh next to his head.

Yoongi’s gaze sharpened, biting his lower lip, fixated on her clean-shaven mound rocking onto Jungkook’s needy and willing mouth.

“Makes you fuckin’ hard watching him between my legs, doesn’t it?”

Jungkook whined at her icy, heated tone.

The older male’s breathing was growing thin, the repeated noise of hand on flesh getting faster, louder.

“S… Shut up…”

Her hand hooked around Yoongi’s head and she dragged him to her face by his hair. There was a flash of shared gaze and Jungkook saw it – desire clouded by sin, an insatiable hunger for pain – and he witnessed Yoongi moaning into her face, succumbing to her brutal kiss, her hips picking up the pace as they made contact, prompting him to suck harder and lick faster.

Close.

Jungkook could now barely see the angry red head of Yoongi’s cock slipping in and out of focus, a peripheral blur from that strong pale hand wrapped around it.

Close.

His legs shook, threatening to give up on him.

There.

His eyes shut tightly as her hips flinched and she snarled, vicious and guttural in her chest. Heady and sweet cum flooding his mouth, over his chin, stifled moan bubbling in his throat as he tipped his head down and hungrily lapped it all up, covering his nose with her orgasm. Thrusting his tongue into her throbbing, shivering hole. Swallowing as much as he could, and then he felt the sudden hot, dripping stream of thick semen painting his forehead, a streak of Yoongi’s scent painted onto him, and then another, dripping down her thigh and into Jungkook’s sweat-soaked hair.

It was so wrong.

It was heaven.

The ache in his core pulsated, devastatingly turned on by the defilement.

She got off him and now Jungkook could finally breathe, but his surroundings were a blur. The sudden oxygen flooding his brain left him out of touch with reality, still drunk on lust, pain, and near erotic asphyxiation. Wet. Warm. He melted in her hands as she licked off his face, hot tongue slurping off his hyung’s cum and leaving sloppy kisses along his temples. He trembled, teeming with past sensations. His body sore and sticky with various fluids, his and hers and his, and this was it, this was everything he wanted, fashioning his new self from his guilty, masochistic fantasies.

Feeling truly, blissfully, painfully alive.

Yoongi was breathing hard, holding something out to him.

A black leather collar with a silver chain wrapped around his hand.

“You want yours?”

Yes.

Yes, he did.

Jungkook reached out and grasped his collar tightly. Brain muddled. Body electrified from willfully inflicted agony and the voracious want for more. More. Those dark cat-like eyes narrowed. Deep voice dropping to a wary rasp.

“Careful, or the headspace will possess you and take over your life,” Yoongi warned.

Too late.

Too fucking late.

--

masterpost

[maxcreatesthings]

AU: Instead of kidnapping and stealing Percy's and Jason's memories, Hera decided to make a sort of school swap with the Big Three children.

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Summary: Greek and Roman demigods mix like oil and water.

Greek demigods are far more sporadic, easier to trust, more powerful, and chaotic. But they lack the numbers and the quick but good work the Roman demigods have.

Roman demigods are far more organized, they have more strength in numbers, and they know how to work quickly and get the best results. But they lack the power that comes with being a direct descendant of a god/dess, and the trust that comes with having constant life-or-death situations.

Not to mention the Big Three kids.

Camp Jupiter has two of them, Jason Grace and Hazel Levesque, a son of Jupiter and a daughter of Pluto respectively.

Jason could control the winds, and Hazel could pull the riches from the ground.

Camp Halfblood had the whole set with Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, and Nico di Angelo.

Thalia could control lightning, and Nico could control the undead.

The best way to describe Percy's power? He could control anything that has water in it.

So what would happen if these two forces were to mix?

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Ships: Jason/Percy (future), Thalia & Reyna (they're in a qpr), Will/Nico (future), Percy/Annabeth (present + polyamory!!!!), Annabeth/Piper (future), Frank/Hazel (future)

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What I changed from canon:

Hazel's age. Her and Frank's canon relationship sorta gives me the ick since she's 13 and he's 16. She's 14 here, and won't be dating Frank until she's around 15-16 years old.

The Lost Hero + The Son of Neptune never happened here, obviously. Piper and Leo were latecomers, so to speak, but both of them got claimed by the first week like how it happened canonically.

Leo and Percy are balls of ultimate dumbassery and chaos together!!!! We were robbed of their friendship in canon for real. And also, Leo's aroace. Thalia helped him find the terms of his sexuality. He won't stop flirting and being himself, of course, he's just aroace now.

Speaking of sexualities, polyamorous percabeth <3

in this au, Annabeth and Percy are more chill with their relationship. sometimes they go on dates with other people if they want to, their partner knowing full well what happens and who they're dating.

genderfuck + asexual Percy the Beloved

no but seriously, i think he would not give a damn about his gender or sex. he could do either if someone else wants him to, but he generally doesn't care about it

Nico and Thalia getting adopted into the Jackson-Blofis household

the addition of Max Jackson and Ezra Jackson, two of my OCs that Sally fosters for Percy so that he could adopt them both when the time is right.

Nico still revived Hazel and became an Ambassador of Pluto for a bit, but Hera screwed with his plans to keep things hushed up about the Greek/Roman division. He helps (somewhat) with easing both Hazel & Jason into Camp HalfBlood and Percy & Thalia into Camp Jupiter.

did I mention that most of the big three kids are gonna have a sibling dynamic? because they're going to have a sibling dynamic (except for jercy, of course)

pipabeth is… well, it's happening, as much as lesbians who are so dumb about each other can be anyways (they are in a situationship is what I'm trying to say here)

the big three children can be dark sometimes, and that's okay!! we <3 the dark! little big three here

Annabeth isn't as controlling as she is canonically (someone had to say it)

Piper is less "I'm not like other girls"

Leo is a bit more mature, and doesn't make fun of people he doesn't know well like he did with Frank in Mark of Athena

Edit: forgot to mention that percy is a hopeless romantic here! He's the one who remembers any anniversary, gifts, etc form his loved ones

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If you have any questions about this au, feel free to ask! it's still in development here, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about this au <3