#real great argument you have there dave

[dvrcos]

David: You just gotta join the strike because - because you just gotta

Spot: You’re right Jack, this guys got brains

[daddy-dins-girl]

Pedro Boys - "Zombie Apocalypse Team"

this might be my favourite one yet... keep reading for headcanons!

related posts: Pedro Boys "During a Fire Emergency" Pedro Boys "Nice Argument. Unfortunately," Pedro Boys "Don't Fuck This Up" Pedro Boys "Dad(dy) Matrix" Pedro Boys & Stabbing Pedro Boys "Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic" Pedro Boys "Feral/Sad/Angelic" Pedro Boys Respond to "I love you." Pedro Boys "Character Tropes" Pedro Boys "Gay/Depressed/Horny on Main" Pedro Boys "Dad/THOT/Bastard" Pedro Boys "bring some Coke to the party" Pedro Boys "I Want a Baby" Pedro Boys "As Babysitters" Pedro Boys "As McDonald's Dads" Pedro Boys "in a horror movie" Pedro Boys "Cinnamon Rolls" Pedro Boys "5 Kids, 3 Chairs" Pedro Boys "Playing Monopoly"

Headcanons under the cut!

Leader - Dave York. Simply put, Dave wouldn’t allow anyone else to be in charge of him, regardless if they’d be better suited for it. Some of the others follow him out of fear, others simply because they'd just prefer not to be in charge.

Brawler - Joel Miller. The muscle. Not so great with his words, much better with his fists.

Weapons Expert - Din Djarin. A bonafide space cowboy, this man has it all. Blasters, rifles, flamethrower, jet pack. Evaporating infected before they even see him coming.

Brains - Marcus Moreno. Truly the Team Leader, but he lets Dave hold the title. He has the mutual respect of everyone, is level headed and the glue that holds the whole group together. He advises Dave, but in a way that makes Dave think they’re his own ideas. Marcus doesn't need to take any credit, he just wants everyone to be safe.

Medic - Frankie "Catfish" Morales. He’s no doctor, but he's had enough basic field medical training in his military days to at least be able to patch everyone up better than anyone else on the team. He’d prefer to be the Vehicle Expert but sadly, modes of transportation in the apocalypse are hard to come by.

Moral Support - Marcus Pike. Always looking at the bright side of the apocalypse. He likes to joke “when life hands you cordyceps, make mushroom tetrazzini”.

Scientist - Ezra. Not exactly Einstein, but he knows what berries and plants are safe and which to avoid during long treks through the wilderness. He’s proven himself useful more so than not. Mostly he keeps Dieter from accidentally un-aliving himself.

Risk taker - Max Phillips. Loud and outspoken, Max's mouth is always getting the group into trouble. Good luck to any infected that tries to turn him though, his ego is so big its like a thick candy shell around the vulnerable parts of his brain.

Stealthy - Oberyn Martell. Forget sniping infected from 100 yards away, this man simply sneaks up behind them and with some flourishing footwork they're on the ground with any sharp object he could get his hands on slicing through the flesh of their throat. He's also stealthy in the way he manages to slip into the others' sleeping bags without them evening realizing at the time that they want him to, but that's a headcanon for another post...

Dumbass - Dieter Bravo. It's not that he wants to die, it's just that he seems to occasionally forget that he can't just eat the fungus as if it came in a Ziplock bag that he use to pay 40 bucks a pop for.

Badass - Javier Peña. This man just continuously takes down infected as if they might actually come to an end. He knows that as quickly as he takes down one colony, four more spring up, but he's stubborn and refuses to stop trying, regardless of how tired he is of it all.

Mascot - Javi Gutierrez. He is babygirl. To be protected at all costs.

Distraction - Jack "Whiskey" Daniels. A real root-tootin, gun-blazin cowboy. Jack never needs to be asked twice to go put on a spectacle in the middle of an open field, gathering all the attention so the rest of the group can flank all sides under brush cover. He seems to have nine lives too, narrowly escaping death more times than any other. And he can handle his own. He argued for the spot of Weapons Expert but ultimately was swayed when he realized being the distraction actually meant being the center of attention.

Stereotype - Pero Tovar. One look at this man screams "if anyone was going to survive a zombie apocalypse, it's him"

Sacrifice - Dio. Look, it was his idea. The weird part was that nobody even asked him to.

First Dead - Eddie. It's just facts. In a long line of Pedro Boys deaths, someone had to be first.

Reply or reblog with your own headcanons, I'd love to hear them :)

[davekat-sucks]

Its not often I participate in online arguments... or ever... but just this once, I'll throw my hat in the ring. You right, DaveKat is not a good ship at all. I'm a new Homestuck reader (currently at page 4488). I'll never ever get into the sequel stuff of Homestuck bc of the horror stories I've heard of it but even then, when I heard DaveKat as a ship I was like, "Huh??? That's a ship??? and its popular??????" because I don't see the vision. Dave and Karkat have no chemistry like what is their relationship like?? Karkat going on his millionth rant that day and Dave pissing on him for it like??? AND there isn't any build up to it to which I heard it was forced upon. Like for what? For what purpose?? But you know what I do like? DaveJade. I'm a big DaveJade fan. Not only do they have a lot of chemistry but like their dynamic, the contrast between the silliness of Jade and the cool guy Dave is SO fun and SO SO cute. Also Also, Dave and Jade's relationship just feels so real to me. Like I think Jade is like the only person Dave really enjoys talking with other than y'know, Rose and John. iirc (bc its been a while since I continued reading HS) the only time Dave smirked while talking to someone was with Jade on page 382 (which I only found out ta'day :0) and no doubt in my mind Dave was excited to meet Jade when she finally got into the medium and helped her out finding the frogs on her planet. I also think that Jade would be a very supportive figure for Dave givin his insecurities about himself, that at least she thinks Dave is very cool even when he thinks otherwise. Another thing, Jade did not have to go out there dressed all fancy n crap like for who you so fancy for? DAVE OBVIOUSLY!!! Also seeing art of Dave trying so hard to keep his cool around Jade is so cute and funny DaveJade is just so CUTE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love DaveJade :)

Also I ship Karkat and Terezi bc they have a very funny dynamic lol (I think what sold me on DaveJade was this album art from Vol 8 LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!!!)

Dave and Jade could really help and support each other. Jade wants to see the outside world and gain connections with people as Dave learns to open himself more and know he can be vulnerable at times with those he care for so that he can have confidence to still be strong and cool in his own way. Both of them can be out to do whatever they want together. If not just them, then with friends too. See the world they have never saw before when they were stuck at home (get it? Cuz Homestuck lmao). I think some of the Homestuck pairings was suppose to be this. Couples that not only have great chemistry, but also ones that can help grow and mature as people for the new universe they would eventually live in. And it's that support that would soon lead to be with their friends to rise and stand up whatever is facing them. It's why DaveJade works. I don't see it working with Davekat. Most fanon I see has them kind of stationary. Never changing to be something else. Even now, they are just depicted as people that stay the same and too nervous to grow out from their comfort zone.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 11/12

I never considered that Aradia could be feeling sincere gratitude towards Equius - that's a good point, and might partially explain her flushed feelings for him. Similarly, I never thought about how difficult and impractical a relationship would be for Equius, given he has this kind of strength paired with this kind of dexterity.

Anyway, I half-agree with your thesis. I can imagine a hypothetical kismesissitude between an older, more mature Equius and Aradia, and I think that relationship could potentially be healthy, for the reasons you describe.

But the one we're getting is doomed from the start - Equius's mind-control shenanigans have pretty much torpedoed the whole thing. I don't think he can have a healthy relationship until he figures out why that was wrong.

I'll give you a freebie right now - most of the Jojo villains would fit right in with the Felt!

Yeah, it's not like romantic rivalry is a new idea. Really, the more I think about it, the more I think Hussie's riffing on real relationship tropes with all the quadrants.

Hell, I could probably list some fictional characters that work pretty well as Moirails - and I'm not just talking about The Locked Tomb!

[ sent when you posted your troll ranking! - C ]

She's the best, she's the worst, and she's destined for great terrible things.

Sorry Eridan - someone had to nab last place!

He does have a great design. The cape and scarf work well together - I can see how he'd be easy and fun to cosplay.

We have two opposing views here, and they both make good arguments. Aristocrats do tend to be egotistical by nature - but Alternia would expect him to act that way, even if it wasn't his natural tendency.

I personally don't think Eridan ever intended to exterminate the land-dwellers, but I'm not sure he ever realized that himself.

Don't forget Insane Clown Hussie, which is when your webcomic author keeps putting more harlequins in their story.

Toby, what are you doing back in my ask box? Get outta here, you scamp!

Ayy!

It's funny, I never considered that many people are reading through the liveblog/chrono/ tag. I'm almost never on my blog's page; I see it through the dashboard!

Happy belated birthdays, Jade, Dave, and, Rose!

Odd. It really looks like John's birthday should be December 2nd. Maybe something went wrong with his meteor.

The Newtonverse is a corruption of Homestuck, but Homestuck is already a parody of a million other things. It's one layer too deep, and feels 'wrong' as a result.

Unless Cool and New Webcomic is a similar style of parody, in which case, who knows? Maybe the Newtonverse is simply real, and trying to break into our reality.

Yeah, that makes sense. She certainly looks like a classic eldritch monster.

I can't see the commentary - I assume because some of it contains spoilers. For comments that don't spoil anything, feel free to send them along.

It's always very tempting to check out other livebloggers so I can compare and contrast. I won't, though - quite aside from any worries about spoilers, I just don't want to influence my own opinions!

This has always been a blind spot with me, and it always will be. Try as I might, I will never recognize the difference between Rouge and Rouge.

I knew the comic had about 8000 pages, but it's good to know it clocks in at 8128.

It annoys me more than it should that it's not 2^13, or 8192. It would have been a nice round number to finish on!

Thank you, and welcome!

Eridan's beliefs don't really make sense - but it makes sense that they don't. It's bigotry, after all.

He knows trolls like Kanaya, and can clearly see that there's nothing inferior about her - but he can't let go of what he's been taught, so he just doesn't address it, and continues on as normal.

This comic is damn long, so it's a fun reference to make.

I'd probably pick one. No special reason - I just sort of vibe with the number, and it's the closest to something kooky like zero, or a negative number.

I would have picked the cueball, but I don't think I want Scratch as a rival...

Ok, that's fair, actually.

I love how she's trying to 'cull' them.

It's a good bit. I wonder if this means Hussie's trollsona is a green-blood, like Kanaya?

Read it!

It's not intended to! The others all link to the post where the work was recommended to me, but Con Air wasn't recommended - it's just a movie slightly relevant to Homestuck. I have it up there for completeness, and it's underlined for consistency.

[pascaloverx]

As It Was

Chapter Four

previous chapter next chapter

Summary: Team meeting with intriguing moments between James Barnes and Melisa.

Warnings: Future use of physical violence, possible strong language, and upcoming adult content. Minors are advised not to read or engage with this story.

Entering the cabin, I find Sam Wilson, Yelena Belova, and Wanda Maximoff standing in front of two monitors in the middle of the cabin. Sam seems to be analyzing Barnes and me, almost as if he can suspect that something is going on between us. As Barnes' best friend and our wedding godfather, he always made it clear that our divorce was a mistake. Dave, on the other hand, has always been in favor of the divorce and spent the entire way giving Barnes dirty looks. Dave is the best friend that college life gave me, so he has this theory that I deserve much more than James Buchanan Barnes can offer.

"Nice to see you're still in the habit of getting involved in situations you can't handle on your own, Barnes," Yelena says as she leans against the chair near the monitors. Wanda, who is sitting in the chair, nudges her.

"Missed you too, Belova. How was the honeymoon?" Barnes replies as he helps me take off my coat. It seems we're being cordial with each other, skirting around years of romantic and sexual frustration. Fun times.

"It was great, by the way. Thanks a lot for not showing up at your best friend's wedding and making her abandon an undercover mission to come clean up your mess.” Yelena seems upset with Barnes, which I can't blame her for. After the divorce, Mr. Handsome over there thought it would be a great idea to disappear from the friend circle and bury himself in work.

"I didn't force you to come here, Belova. God knows no one would blame you for not wanting to get involved in this. Actually, I wouldn't blame any of you." Barnes says as we all sit in the middle of the cabin, feeling the discomfort of this moment.

"If you're done with the reunion moment, I'd like to point out that regardless of our feelings for Barnes now, him being imprisoned or dead for a crime he didn't commit won't make anyone happy." I decide to interject, sensing the beginning of an unproductive argument. There's no time to waste.

"Melisa is right. First, we save the guy, then we can condemn him for being a neglectful friend. I hope everyone agrees with me because I have an idea on how to gather evidence that Killian and Barnes aren't partners." Dave speaks as he sits in the chair next to Wanda's.

"As everyone in this room probably knows, Killian is known for being a major smuggler who loves selling information that would jeopardize the security of this country. He's also known for having a highly uncontrollable temper when he feels he's being double-crossed. Just ask his last partner, who, after striking a deal with an agent, was found with one ear less. We can't underestimate him for a moment." Sam speaks as we stare at the central monitor showing images of Killian, along with information about him. His real name isn't Killian, but he chose that name when he entered the criminal life. Little is known about him because he's powerful enough to erase all traces of his childhood. It's estimated that he's nearly forty years old. He's part of a group of people whose families were killed or ruined by the government. We have some photos of him, and I must say he looks extremely dangerous and attractive. Impeccable muscles and face, eyes almost like a type of ice blue. Clean-shaven with a predominant mustache. Officially, I pity whoever has to get close to him to spy on him. Along with his photos and information, we also have images of Killian's former accomplice, and let's just say he won't need the rest of his ear.

"In my way here, I found out that our favorite criminal here is dealing some weapons and information in Las Vegas. After a bit of digging, I found out he owns one of the most famous nightclubs there. Not just for its popularity but for the deals that go down inside. He's staying at the Ocean Dry Hotel, which is near the Kill of the Night Club. Guess who managed to hack into the hotel's system and secure suites on the same floor as our target?" Dave says, clearly proud of himself. Dave has always been an exceptional hacker, and thanks to the time I convinced Barnes to get him out of what would've been a stint in jail, he's been a nearly exemplary citizen.

"The plan here would be for someone to, I don't know, seduce Killian and wiretap him?" Wanda says as she watches the images of Killian attentively. Yelena and she exchange comments, details they probably don't want curious people like me to hear.

"More specifically, we need someone who fits Mr. Killian's type and can wiretap him to gather information that clears Barnes and finds the real culprit. I can handle the wiretapping part and even download data from Killian's notebook or computer. But unfortunately, he usually gets involved with regular, attractive yet straightforward women. Ironically, the fatally sensual type triggers an alarm for him. And he enjoys small challenges, so I recommend someone who's committed, even if it's falsely." Dave replies, smiling. He seems to have a plan in mind as he looks at me. I already know I'm in trouble.

"Yelena and Wanda are more qualified for this mission than I will be in years, no matter how much you look at me like that." I speak, looking at Dave and then seeking some support by glancing at Yelena and Wanda. Unfortunately, they look at me as if they're going to let me down. How could they think I could handle this?

"Unfortunately, Meli, your best friend and I are in the middle of a secret mission. If any of us are caught doing this, it would be disastrous."  Yelena approaches me, and I just shake my head, seeking understanding in anyone's eyes here, including my ex's. He seems to be the only one who understands how badly I can mess up this situation. It's not because I don't know how to defend myself or shoot someone if necessary. It's because the man I have to seduce is literally a professional at lying, killing, and torturing people. How can I even believe I'll fool him? 

"One moment, are you all forgetting that we're talking about Melisa Harrison, the woman whose romantic resume consists of a failed marriage and almost no other experience?" I take it upon myself to state what's as obvious to me as the fact that the sun rises in the east.

"It's too risky to put her in action like this. Killian is known for not being tolerant, and it's not fair for her to risk herself for me." Bucky says, his arms crossed, while Sam looks at him as if he really wants to agree with his old partner. I miss the times when Sam used to come over on weekends, watching the game with Barnes while I let him test his culinary skills in our kitchen.

"As beautiful as it is for you two to join forces and arrive at the natural conclusion that our beloved Melisa isn't the ideal person for the mission, she's perfect. Not to mention, I'll be there with her. You should be more concerned about the fact that I'm not sure if I can be a convincing straight guy. No offense, darling." Dave looks at me as if he wants to say, "I'm sorry, my dear, but you have to accept what fate throws your way." I've known this man for at least ten years, so it's not the first time he has irritated me like this.

"I'm not offended, I just want to make it clear to all of you that you didn't even dare to mention it because you know I'll accept this for obvious reasons. So, rest assured, if something goes wrong, I'll be the most talkative hostage the world has ever seen."  I really wish they felt sorry for me, or at least that Dave had a bit more sympathy in his eyes. But in this line of work, there's no room for pity or hesitation. We have to face the challenges head-on, no matter how difficult they may be.

"Now that we've established that Dave and Melisa are going to Vegas, maybe we should bring someone who knows how to handle a gun along. Plus, this person can pretend to be Melisa's love interest and thus capture the target's attention. As you all know, Killian has a thing for taken women." Sam says, while I find it interesting that he has a long history of quick affairs with committed women and that Dave is so competent that he made a whole dossier about Killian.

"I know someone who might be a good partner for this mission. That would leave Sam available to look after Bucky." I say. It looks like I'm going to have Steve Rogers as my partner.

"How do you know he won't rat us out if you suggest this madness to him?" Now Yelena says this with a certain concern in her voice. I must admit there's a huge risk in involving a man I don't know as well in this story, but I feel that the honorable Mr. Rogers won't let me down on this one.

"You'll have to trust me, just as I trust that you wouldn't send me on a mission that put my life at risk. Are we clear?"  I've just started this life of espionage, and I'm already feeling confident about leading our next steps.

"I like it when you get bossy; it shows him who's in charge. So, once we're back from Las Vegas, we'll gather again and collect the necessary information to move forward with our little adventure to save Barnes's reputation. And I don't need to remind you that if any trace of him surfaces, I need to be informed. You're all dismissed.”   Dave says, and everyone seems to understand that it's time to leave, which means everyone else will be gone, and I'll be left with him. Specifically with him.  Yelena heads toward the exit, accompanied by Wanda, who mutters something in my ear as she's leaving, along the lines of, "Next time, I promise she'll be in a better mood," and I just nod in agreement. Sam and I came to the conclusion that if he's going to babysit Barnes, he would need at least this night to sort his things out and have a solo moment. I agreed because I know I'm not the only one struggling with Bucky's return to our lives. I mean, Yelena is pissed because she sided with Barnes during the divorce, and then he vanished from her life like he was running away. Sam is bothered because he was Barnes's partner, and even that didn't stop him from disappearing from his life. Interestingly enough, Dave was surprisingly chill about the whole situation, almost as if he had been waiting for a Mission Impossible-style meeting his whole life. He's not a big fan of Barnes, but he seems fine with having to take the risk with me in this whole story. At the end of the night, it's just Barnes and me in the cabin. Dave said he'll wait for me to contact Rogers to pack his bags. I only realized I was alone with my ex when I saw Dave walking out the door. Whose idea was it to leave me here to keep him company right after the conversation we had earlier?

"I'll make two things clear: I don't want to discuss what we were talking about in the forest, and I don't want to debate my involvement in this mess. Got it?" I'm loving my new attitude. Maybe I'll have to use all this confidence in the coming weeks. Bucky smiles as he looks at me, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"In fact, I'd like to practice some techniques that will be useful for when you're risking your life for your ex who definitely doesn't deserve it."  Now it's my turn to smile. He looks cute when he admits he doesn't deserve something he actually does. Our relationship may have deteriorated, but not enough for me to believe he doesn't deserve help.

"I don't know if you're aware, but I had self-defense classes throughout my adolescence into a good portion of my adult life. Not to mention, I know how to defend myself, you know. Our best dates were at shooting ranges. So, what do you think you have to teach me?" This doubt has always lingered, even though he's been careful not to show it to me. Whether I like it or not, Bucky's lack of confidence in me has shaken my self-esteem. 

"Seducing a powerful criminal isn't the same as seducing me. You weren't deceiving me when we were together; there was no reason to lie or deceive. It's not the same with Killian. There, you'll have to lie all the time."  Now, this seems like a joke. Does he seriously doubt my ability to lie? I've been lying my way through the past few days, even to myself.

"Do you think that in two years of dating and three years of marriage, I never lied or deceived you?"  I guess his confidence in our marriage is shaken now, little does he know I'm lying again. Rarely have I ever had to lie in our relationship.

"What moments did you lie to me?" Good question Barnes, but I'll change the subject as soon as I can.

"Moments that you probably would have preferred me to lie to you, believe me, love. Now, let's grab some pajamas and bedding." Subject change successfully executed, a tactic my father taught me years ago: change the subject when the current topic doesn't suit you.

"Come here, just a second..." Bucky takes my waist as if pulling me into a dance, and I lose my breath for a few seconds. Our faces are so close that the most natural reflex I have is to look at his lips. That's when I understand what I have to do. I'm going to use this opportunity to teach my ex a lesson and, at the same time, practice my seductive skills. I run my right hand down his face, gently. He seems to enjoy my touch; his eyes close slowly as I stroke his cheek. I kiss him, aiming to be fierce yet patient at the same time. He responds to the kiss, pulling me closer to the countertop near the kitchen. I feel that leaning on the countertop will give me more stability. James seems to understand that. I touch his hair, trying to bring us even closer, while my personal space is completely invaded by James Barnes. I lose myself in him, while he's lost in me. That's what I'm feeling. I sit on the countertop without breaking the kiss. However, we have to interrupt the kiss slightly as he guides me to sit on the countertop. My legs wrap around Barnes' waist, and I finally take the initiative to hold onto Barnes' neck. That's when I realize I should stop. It didn't feel right. So, I push Barnes away and get off the countertop. He seems to be too confused. Well, not just confused, but that's the most assertive way to describe how he appears. 

"I think it's clear now that I can seduce someone without your help. Perhaps we can continue this on another occasion, but for now, let's forget what happened here and go to bed." I turn, heading towards the bedroom, with Barnes following me, murmuring things like: "But why?" or "Can't we pick up where we left off?"

"If you come to bed with me, I promise to let what happened go," he says. I smiled as I found a pajama that fits him and bed sheets, knowing for sure he's sleeping on the couch tonight.

"Sleep well, Barnes. I need to rest too because tomorrow I have to convince the world out there that I have no idea where you are, all while convincing Rogers to help us. So go to sleep and try not to commit any crimes while I am sleeping." And so I go to sleep, trying to convince myself that what I just did wasn't a complete act of insane madness.

[fluffydavey]

oooh for the reassurance stories what about “ i would pretty much trust you with my life. “ or “ i'm not going anywhere. “

reassurance starters || prompts or what about both though 👀

Jack's stretching his tired limbs as he stands in line, listening to Albert sweet talk Wiesel into getting out of paying yet again, when Davey and Les come rushing behind them, late as usual. Gone are the days that Davey tries to explain themselves, instead he just hopes he’s not too late to get shouted at by Wiesel. Still, Jack stays behind to wait for the boys, ignoring the looks Crutchie sends his way as he goes about to start his own selling route with Finch.

This morning Jack hears them before he sees them, and his attention is instantly drawn to the two Jacobs brothers. Normally they’re in good spirits, rushing while chatting away with each other. This time though, something is off between the two. Jack’s had his share of arguing with his own brothers to know that Davey and Les are in the middle of an argument. Which is new. No matter how often Davey plays the big brother card, Les tends to listen, even if he tries to make the ever-patient Davey annoyed by his actions while doing what he's told. This morning is different though.

"Les, you knew this day would come," he hears Davey murmur, in a hurried breath. When he sneaks a quick glance at the two, Les has his arms folded across his chest, sulking. Davey's eyes are fixed on his little brother, his eyebrows furrowed as he speaks.

“You’re just saying that because you’re happy about it!” Les calls out, which suddenly gets the attention of more of the newsies. Still, they know better than to get involved in other people’s business - Crutchie is concentrating extremely hard on counting his papers, while Race is slowly looking for his matches to light his cigar. Both, Jack notices, stay closer to the Jacobs boys than they actually need to be. Jack decides to take the same approach - he doesn't want to get involved in their argument, but they are selling partners of course, so he needs to knows how to prepare himself for dealing with a stroppy ten-year-old.

There’s a tug on his shirt, and when he turns around, Les is frowning up at him. “Les, no," Davey says, using his big brother tone that's used when he thinks Jack can't hear them. He reaches out for his little brother, but like clockwork, Les is too quick for Davey to stop.

"Dad's going back to work!” Les tells him, and Jack turns to Dave for confirmation. Davey sheepishly just nods, and Jack stares at the two, realising they’re waiting for a reaction from him.

“That’s great! Tell your father I’m real happy for him!” he says, thinking he’s walking on fairly steady ground. He would have thought the boys would be thrilled at the news, since their father has made a faster improvement than expected.

“We’re going back to school Jack!” Les continues, clearly not getting the reaction he expected. That’s when it hits him, and all he can think is, fuck.

“Les, you knew this wouldn’t be permanent,” Davey says quietly, and Jack realises that everyone is paying attention now. Crutchie and Race are staring at them, not even bothering to pretend like they’re not eavesdropping. Elmer stops himself just as he’s about to drop money in Wiesel’s metal case, while Henry and Mike are whispering to each other, eyeing Davey up.

Jack’s trying to take this information in - they’ve been selling together all throughout the summer. He’s gotten used to their routine, waiting for the brothers to join them in the morning. Sometimes, Davey would sneak him some extra breakfast his parents had made, which was always a bonus. They’d make their way through the busy Manhattan streets, hawking headlines and taking a break when the sun became too much.

One day in particular, that Jack likes to remember maybe a little too much, they had decided to sit down in Central Park, watching as Les quickly made friends with children his age. He had convinced Davey to lie down on the grass with him, and the two were watching the clouds, laying slightly too close together for it to be casual.

“Do you think they’re the same clouds everywhere else?” he had asked, in between trying to convince Davey that one cloud looked a lot like a cowboy boot. It was mainly to hear Davey laugh, and to his delight, the plan had worked.

"Why, you thinking about the clouds in Santa Fe, cowboy?" Davey had asked, turning his attention to Jack. He remembers how it felt when he had turned to face Davey too, how he had forgotten to breathe by how close they were - struck by Davey's hazel eyes staring back at him, and how beautiful the other boy had looked.

"Nah, I got everything I need right here," he had answered truthfully, forcing himself to look away before he did something very, very stupid in public.

He thinks of that moment, and how they'll never have one like that again. Because Davey's going back to school, and he'll forget Jack ever existed. How could he compare to the people Davey goes to school with? Davey's never actually spoken about his classmates, but he imagines a group of intelligent, well-spoken and important boys just like Davey.

Jack's never going to get to share moments like those in the park with him again.

"Jack!" Davey says, sounding annoyed this time, and Jack realises he's been in his own world for some time now. "I said, I got your papes. Come on."

They go on their usual route, but no one is talking. Davey tries, but he soon gives up, focusing on the task at hand instead. Les is angry, and Jack is - well, he doesn't know how to actually describe how he feels. It isn't until Les finds a group of well-off people standing by a market, that Davey elbows Jack. "Come on, tell me what's going on in that mind of yours."

He thinks he could lie, he could say that there are other things on his mind. He could pretend he's sick, or he's worried about one of the other boys. But when he looks at the concerned look on Davey's face, he feels the walls he wants to build start to shatter before he can even do anything about it. "You're leaving."

"We'll still be out selling with you at the weekends," Davey says, which actually does help a little, but still, it's still not the same. "Maybe the evenings too. Just in case, you know?"

So he'll still get Davey every day. For now. "That doesn't mean things won't change." God, he sounds so stupid. He wishes he could shut up, pretend that nothing's bothered him. "But I did mean it, I'm glad your dad's better."

"Jackie, I'm not going anywhere," Davey smiles, and Jack watches him suspiciously. He doesn't know that for sure - anything can happen once Davey goes back to his normal life. But, he doesn't owe Jack that promise. Davey takes a look at Les, who has an even larger group of people eating out of the palm of his hand. "Come here, one minute."

He lets Davey blindly lead him down an alleyway, one close by so Davey can still peek his head around to check on his brother. "I didn't want to make this a huge thing, because it isn't, trust me. I'm not exactly thrilled about the idea, truth be told."

"But I thought you missed school," he says, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"I'll miss being with you even more," Davey says, without missing a beat. Jack feels dizzy at the confession, and can't help but smile at Davey's words. He's not used to people saying things like that to him, especially someone like Davey.

"Can I do something stupid?" he asks, without thinking. He nearly takes it back and tries to think of something else, but Davey's already nodding at him.

"I would pretty much trust you with my life," he says, smiling softly at Jack. "Nothing you do is stupid to me."

The floodgates are well and truly opened at this point, and Jack just thinks, fuck it. He's wasted too much time already, especially when Davey's going to be leaving him (not permanently, he has to remind himself).

His hands reach Davey's face, one warm palm cups his cheek while the other drapes over the back of his neck, pulling him down as Jack stands on his tiptoes to meet him halfway. Jack brushes their noses together before their lips meet for the first time. It’s soft, full of gentle wanting and contentment, and Jack sinks into the kiss, wanting to hide in it forever.

When they pull apart, Jack can't stop the smile on his lips. He hears the sound of Davey's laughter, and he thinks they'll be okay. School or not, they've still got each other's backs. "If going back to school was what it took to make you kiss me, I should have gone back a long time ago."

"You can't say that to me just before I have to share you with people I don't even know," he pouts, as Davey wraps his arms around Jack's neck, pulling him impossibly close.

"Don't you worry Jack," he says, leaning to press a kiss on Jack's forehead. "I'm all yours."

[talkingpointsusa]

Tim Pool is really pissed off that AI women aren't real.

Yeah, I spent my life savings to talk to this girl and....uh, I mean, imagine falling for this. Right guys? (Photo Credit: Timcast on YouTube)

Tim Pool is one of the great intellectuals of our time, as evidenced by the fact that he thinks the lack of alpha males is turning women lesbian for....some unspecified reason.

After looking at Matt Walsh, which is always a slog, I figured we'd end the week off on something truly stupid and hilarious and, since Dave Rubin is still in full tilt cope mode over DeSantis losing Iowa, who better than Tim Pool?

Tim Pool, a self professed alpha male by the way, has decided that AI women will lead to the literal end of society. So lets get into it.

00:01, Tim Pool: "I'm reminded of that episode of Futurama where Fry downloads Lucy Liu into a robot and is forced to watch an educational film about why you shouldn't date robots."

We are already off to a great start. When your argument hinges on a clip from Futurama maybe it's time to rethink your argument.

00:13, Tim Pool: "And the film talks about how, if everyone started just downloading fake female personalities into robots, they'd stop reproducing and civilization would end. And, of course, we are building just such a thing."

Absolutely nobody thinks that AI women are a suitable replacement for human women. Yeah, a small portion of the population is lonely enough to talk to AI women and that's unfortunate. The vast majority of men and women don't think that this is some kind of permanent solution. I think a lot of the population isn't aware that these AI women exist and those that do think it's some kind of weird novelty.

I'm glad this video is a mercifully short 14 minutes because 20 minutes of this shit would be unbearable.

00:24, Tim Pool: "This story from the New York Post. 'AI model, Lexi, makes $30k a month as a virtual girlfriend to lonely men'. No, this is robo-fishing or something. This is guys who think this woman is real giving a bunch of other guys money."

Absolutely nobody using this thing thinks this "Lexi" chatbot is real. The company that created it is called Foxy AI which provides a helpful little hint in the name for what this is. It is very clear People are paying for the AI, not in spite of the AI.

Anyway, Tim finds this all very scary.

01:03, Tim Pool: "So some guy makes an AI generated woman. Other guys pay that guy to interact with the AI generated woman. Ladies and gentlemen, you want to talk about the great filter? The answer to Fermi's Paradox? How is it that humanity will destroy itself, oh there are oh so many ways."

So, let me get this straight: Tim, who again is supposedly a serious journalist, thinks that some guys talking to a chatbot is going to cause the literal end of society.

I feel like this is Tim lashing out because he accidentally spent money on a chatbot thinking it was a real woman. Because I don't understand why he cares so much about this or how he came to this conclusion.

01:49, Tim Pool: "Or perhaps, it will be a bunch of men who never have children because they're wacking off to pictures of fake women on the internet. Geez."

Tim appears to have discovered that pornography exists. Just wait until he finds out that phone sex operators exist.

"I guess we live in a world where you can pick up the phone, call a number, and wack of to some girls voice. That's sick!"

02:00, Tim Pool: "Well, at the very least what I think is likely to happen is that evolutionary pressure will persist and thus the men who fall for these AI models and don't procreate will simply cease to exist and those who are more resilient to it will survive."

Resilient to it. Yeah, in the future people will force you to chat with AI women instead of real women and then, unless we are resilient to these AI women, society shall crumble before our very eyes.

02:43, Tim Pool: "The guys who don't find girlfriends and watch this stuff instead, they're not gonna procreate."

I don't think the kinds of people who are paying good money for an AI female are all that desirable on the dating market.

02:53, Tim Pool: "The other big issue here is that women are gonna try and compete with these AI models and they're gonna get surgery and other things to try and look like computer generated women. Yo, we are in for a wild ride."

This has got to be one of the single dumbest things I have ever watched. Not just for this blog, in my lifetime. So, according to Tim, because some men are chatting with AI generated females, real females are going to start getting surgeries to look like AI generated ones.

Absolutely no straight male on Earth would rather have an AI generated woman than a real woman. Does Tim not realize what a complete moron he is making himself sound like?!

03:28, Tim Pool: "There are accounts on Instagram that have created -- it's so simple. You write a script to AI generate an image of a woman and then automatically post it to Instagram periodically. Guys will hit the like button and then you insert some kind of ad, bang. Money."

Congratulations Tim, you've discovered what a spambot is. Welcome to the internet buddy.

05:01, Tim Pool: "This should be illegal. I think it should actually be a crime. I think it should be a crime to create an account for a fake person, charge money for interactions with that person, it's fraud. I believe it should be considered fraud."

Not when it's clearly labelled as AI and has disclaimers on their website. If you are spending money on a chatbot from a website literally called Foxy AI, you know what you are paying for.

05:41, Tim Pool: "Porn addiction and now AI women. Dude, you guys don't even wanna know what's coming next. But I'll tell ya, because you probably actually do wanna know, many of you probably already know what's coming next."

I'm going to take a wild guess and say the literal end of society.

05:56, Tim Pool: "You know, back in the day the joke is--I think it was a Family Guy joke--"

Tim Pool has such brilliant evidence to back up his argument in this episode. A Futurama joke and a Family Guy joke, well I'm convinced!

Well, lets hear him out.

05:58, Tim Pool: "Some cavemen like, drew a stick figure woman with big boobs and then they called it porn. They were like 'Hey man, don't draw porn or whatever'. I don't know if that was actually Family Guy, but that's actually the joke, rudimentary. As time went on there were drawings, don't have those drawings but people would do it and it would titillate them. And then of course, photographs and video and magazines and then you get this expansion of the porn industry throughout the 1900's."

This is deeply hilarious because it completely undermines Tim's point. If people have been viewing porn for that long and porn is going to lead to the literal end of society, why hasn't it happened yet?

06:48, Tim Pool: "And then what happens is it goes from men and women banging to crazy stuff like swinging from the ceiling fan. And these guys are driven to chase after, eventually, things that don't exist or are dangerous. You end up with really creepy awful porn. I'm talking about evil dark stuff like snuff films but people just get off on crazy disgusting things."

Absolutely no citation for this claim. I know people who have watched porn and haven't immediately sought out snuff films or other illegal stuff.

07:10, Tim Pool: "So now where we're headed is, you got young men growing up in a world where by the age 10 or 11 they've seen the most disgusting things imaginable."

What a complete moron! The idea that someone has found porn, let alone snuff films, before they turn ten is so utterly ridiculous that it cannot even be put into words.

07:19, Tim Pool: "Their brains are broken. Regular women are not attractive to them, so they aren't gonna procreate or find girlfriends."

So boys aren't attracted to "regular women" but they are attracted to computer generated women even though, as Tim pointed out earlier on, they are getting so realistic that it's hard to tell that they aren't actual women. This is because they have watched snuff films at the tender age of 8.

1.22 million subscribers everybody. 1.22 million people look at this and go "Woah, this is the kind of content I want to consume."

07:27, Tim Pool: "Outside of all the porn addiction stuff, young men growing up online don't know how to interact with people in the real world."

Yeah, there's this place that kids go to called "school" where they interact with other kids. This teaches them how to interact with people in the real world.

07:44, Tim Pool: "And along comes this woman right here. This is fake, it is AI, but it's easy."

The idea that a teenage boy has the money lying around to spend on a chatbot might be the dumbest point in this episode chock full of dumb points.

Tim plays a bit of a short film called Capitol of Conformity.

09:49, Tim Pool: "Now I made the joke on Timcast IRL, for all I know I'm like, some overweight loser who can't get a job and works at Starbucks so I plugged my brain into the neuralink so that I get to be a famous podcaster and have lots of money!"

Don't I wish. Tim is really overestimating how famous he is here. He's relatively unimportant in the griftersphere compared to major players like The Daily Wire. Also, "can't get a job who works at Starbucks" is an oxymoron.

Tim waxes poetic about "woah, what if we are all in the simulation" and about how neuralink will destroy the world (my mans never heard of VR headsets I guess) and I'm absolutely done with this dimwit.

Conclusion:

Well, Tim seems to be really pissed that AI women aren't real and seems to think it's going to lead to the literal downfall of society. Not sure why this is the hill he's decided that he's going to die on but whatever.

Cheers and I’ll see you in the next one.

[moviemunchies]

I saw this movie with friends, because they wanted to see it. And I don’t think it’s a bad film; as a family film, it’s just fine. However, I can’t say that this movie feels like it justifies its existence. 

It doesn’t need to exist! We already have The Little Mermaid! It didn’t need to be redone!

Alright! So! Ariel is the mermaid daughter of Triton, the King of the Seas, and she’s obsessed with humans and their world much to her father’s disapproval. Then she falls in love with Prince Eric and saves his life. When Triton finds out, he wrecks her collection of human artifacts, which the sea witch Ursula uses as a way to manipulate Ariel. She offers to make Ursula human for three days, with a chance to be human forever if she can get her true love, Eric, to kiss her. Except she won’t have her voice, and she’s forgotten that she needs the kiss. And if she fails, she belongs to the sea witch now. Ursula, of course, only wants Ariel as leverage to overthrow Triton, her brother.

Alright, so, let me first put forward this: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the original animated The Little Mermaid all the way through. If I have, I’m not that familiar with it, so while I’ve had some input on what’s changed, through asking friends and looking up for myself, I might get something wrong.

I am going to start with things I liked or thought were well-done:

-Performances in general. For the most part, the acting in this movie is good, and Halle Bailey is a standout star. Her singing is fantastic, and she is absolutely an excellent choice to lead this movie. I heard someone say that she cried when she heard “Part of Your World” in the theater this time around, and I didn’t get it, but I admitted she does a damn good musical number when she gives it a go.

-Daveed Diggs is also doing a pretty good job as Sebastian. Admittedly that doesn’t make his character in this movie great, his design is uninspired for one, only that Diggs is doing incredibly well with what he’s given.

-When the special effects are bright and colorful, it’s really cool. Look, this is an undersea magical world, so it SHOULD be colorful and fantastical. There’s a lot that’s great to look at in some sequences, especially in “Under the Sea” (though put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that number).

-Things that have been headcanon or limited to supplementary material/expansions, like Triton’s queen having been slain by humans or Ursula being Triton’s sister do a lot to explain these characters, and they’re quickly established without taking up too much of the movie. It works a lot better than whatever the heck they were doing with Belle’s mother in the Beauty & the Beast remake.

But you know, there are also a lot of things that also kind of fall flat. Going back to the “Under the Sea” argument, there’s a whole bit where Sebastian sings about the different sea creatures playing different instruments–only to have almost none of those creatures appear on the screen at those moments, or have them playing instruments at all. I thought I might be mistaken, so I looked up the original scene in the animated film, and the animals are all doing exactly that as Sebastian describes them. So why have this song, with these lyrics, if the sea animals aren’t on screen doing what you’re saying they’re doing?

This is probably an extension of the obsession with the remakes of making animals look “realistic” and “realistic animals don’t play instruments”. Or something. It’s at the absolute worst whenever Flounder’s on screen, because he doesn’t look like a character as much as a real fish who is baffled to be there and would rather you stop touching him, thank you very much. 

Also they go through the trouble of changing Scuttle to a diving bird so she can go underwater to talk to Ariel and friends, but like… that means she can breathe underwater for short periods? Which is as unrealistic as it gets.

The less said about “Scuttlebutt” rap, the better. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a great songwriter, but Disney needs to stop hiring him for everything. It doesn’t fit here–every song in the original serves a dramatic or character-building purpose. Here, “Scuttlebutt” tells us something that’s proven untrue a minute later: that Eric is proposing to Ariel that day.

Also, when the “Under the Sea” sequence, and some of the others, show off a fantastical world of color and wonder, it’s a little disappointing to see exactly how drab Triton’s palace is. He’s King of the Sea and his house is drab, undecorated stone?

The conclusion is also a bit strange. In it, Ariel is the one who drives the wrecked ship to impale giant Ursula instead of Eric. I get why they did this, so that she’s a much more straightforwardly powerful protagonist with agency–SHE’s the one who defeats the villain in the end. Okay, fine, but this also means that Prince Eric does almost nothing in the climax of the movie. He, the experienced sailor, just flails about while Ariel, the one who didn’t know what a fork was a week ago, steers a ship into the Big Bad.

Yeah, that makes sense, right?

More than anything though, my main complaint about this movie is: why does this exist? I know the answer, it’s money. I am fully convinced that there could have been a great movie made out of reviving The Little Mermaid. We could get a movie about Ursula’s story, Triton’s rule, other mermaids like Ariel’s sisters, Ariel adjusting to life on land, putting this in a different setting, gender-swapping this… really, Disney could be doing anything right now and instead they’re telling the same story again, but with a bigger budget and tiny little patches to cover up perceived failings and Plot Holes, like making Ariel magically forget that she has to kiss Eric.

But no, it’s about the money. 

There’s some good in this movie, and I maintain that as a family film, it’s just fine. Whatever. But The Little Mermaid already exists, and you could watch the original one instead. This is just a copy that feels less creative, blatantly developed because Disney wants our money. 

And they’re getting it, apparently. Ugh.

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Half Baked (1998)

CW: Dave Chappelle, dated stoner humor

----

Half Baked (1998)

Rated R for pervasive drug content, language, nudity and sexual material

Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/04/review-half-baked-1998.html>

Score: 2 out of 5

The biggest problem I had with Half Baked, a problem that I imagine I'd have with a lot of other old stoner comedies from my childhood and earlier, has nothing to do with the film itself. It has a great cast comprised of comic actors from that period at the top of their game, most notably a young Dave Chappelle, who co-wrote the film with his future Chappelle's Show collaborator Neal Brennan. It has quite a few moments that got some good chuckles out of me, and overall, it should've worked.

No, the problem became clear as I was walking back to my car from a 25th anniversary 4/20 screening by the Laughing Gas Film Festival at the Classic Gateway Theater in Fort Lauderdale. Between the theater doors and the parking lot behind the building was a street where I walked by a medical marijuana dispensary and, further down, spotted a sticker on the wall with a QR code for a "420 Company". This may sound counterintuitive, the kind of idea that one would think you'd have to be high to come up with, but I believe that the process of destigmatizing and, in many parts of the country, outright legalizing cannabis use has ironically made it harder to enjoy stoner humor. A lot of these movies were counterculture flicks made during the War on Drugs, a time when weed was taboo and flatly illegal and could get you thrown in prison for years if you were caught with it. People who smoked it thus had an aura of rebellious cool, and stoner imagery, be it from hippies or hip-hop, was an easy way to mark yourself as a free thinker who didn't live by the silly rules that mainstream society wanted to impose. A film like Scary Movie could just throw in a stoner character where the whole joke is that he smokes a ton of weed, and score plenty of cheap laughs from the mere mention of illegal substances.

Unfortunately, that whole attitude doesn't work in an era where the taboos surrounding cannabis have largely broken down and the War on Drugs, particularly the prohibition of marijuana, faces growing mainstream pushback. Even here in a fairly conservative state like Florida that's legalized its medicinal use but has kept its recreational use criminalized, it's not hard to get a prescription for it. People who still define themselves as pot smokers are no longer considered cool, but fairly cringy in a society where "stoner culture" is just normal grown-up pop culture and suburban parents (at least in more liberal states) casually smoke weed the way they drink wine, with Neighbors��nine years ago probably being, in my opinion, the canonical snapshot of how that attitude was changing in real time. The victory of the pro-legalization side of the argument meant that time was not kind to movies like Half Baked in which most of the joke revolves around how wacky and edgy marijuana and the people who smoke it are. It's oddly appropriate that this film stars Chappelle and Jim Breuer, two '90s/'00s Gen-X comedians who, to put it as nicely as possible, have not aged gracefully in the last several years, because this movie suffers from a lot of the same problems that they do. If I were born maybe ten years earlier and saw this film when I was in college, I imagine it would still be a nostalgic classic for me, as it is for a lot of people who were college kids and twentysomethings in the Y2K era. But watching it for the first time now, in 2023, I often found myself bored and waiting for the film to get to the point.

The plot is mostly an excuse to get to the pot. Chappelle plays Thurgood, a janitor at a pharmaceutical laboratory whose favorite pastime is getting high with his friends Kenny, Brian, and Scarface. When Kenny gets arrested while out on a munchie run that ends with him accidentally killing a police horse, he's held in prison on $1 million bail, forcing Thurgood, Brian, and Scarface to find a way to get him out. Their solution arrives when Thurgood discovers that the lab he works at is doing research into medicinal marijuana and has a huge stash of extremely high-quality pot, which inspires him to steal some of it from the lab so that he and his friends can sell it on the street and raise money for Kenny's bail. There are subplots involving Thurgood falling in love with a staunchly anti-drug woman ironically named Mary Jane, a drug kingpin named Samson who wants a cut of the protagonists' action when he finds out what they're doing, and an old inmate known only as the Squirrel Master (played by Tommy Chong) protecting Kenny from prison rape, but most of the film is a parade of drug humor and celebrity cameos from the likes of Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, and a pre-Daily Show Jon Stewart as some of the people who buy weed from Thurgood and his friends. Again, I outlined my problem with a lot of this humor earlier: a lot of it is dependent on the assumption that smoking cannabis is a daring, dangerous, and inherently funny thing to do, an idea that was pretty much dead and buried five years ago when Elon Musk, one of the wealthiest men alive and nobody's idea of a radical (no matter how much he likes to pretend otherwise), smoked a blunt with Joe Rogan live on the latter's top-rated podcast. It's like a 2000s Seltzer and Friedberg "reference movie" that, instead of using the protagonists' intoxication as the setup for greater escapades, mistakes weed references for weed humor.

If the humor doesn't click, then the film needs to have a real story to fall back on, which it unfortunately doesn't. Samson's villainy is only introduced in the third act to up the stakes with little foreshadowing, the film lost interest in Mary Jane around that same point and only wrapped up the story of her relationship with Thurgood at the very end, Kenny's only role in the film is to serve up jokes about prison rape, and overall, it just felt aimless and easily sidetracked, the kind of movie where wondering if Chappelle and Brennan were high when they wrote it isn't a compliment. Even at just 82 minutes, its runtime felt padded with extra scenes that didn't move the story along, flesh out the characters, or make me laugh all that much beyond just a few chuckles. It felt like a "sketch movie", the kind of movie that a lot of sketch comedy stars and writers in the '90s made in which they took popular characters from their shows and gave them a feature film to bumble around in, whether or not the material was suited to more than a short sketch. This movie may not have been adapted from anything out of Saturday Night Live, MADtv, or anywhere else, but Chappelle and Brennan's past and future in stand-up and late night comedy was clearly visible here, and in this case, those talents didn't translate to the big screen.

The Bottom Line

The title really says it all: Half Baked feels, well, half-baked, like it needed way more time spent on the plot instead of packing in as many "edgy" weed references as they could. It's a film that I'd argue is kept alive chiefly by Gen-X/millennial nostalgia and Chappelle's later success causing his fans to rediscover it, as it has lost its edge over the years.

[the-firebird69]

Trump can oppose releasing evidence in election interference case, judge rules - The Washington Post

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2024/09/27/trump-dc-trial-immunity-brief-objections/

Ha ha lol hehe

Zues Hera this is a great argument but I really want to see Donald Trump pay me defeated he's supposed to pay his lawyers and take them to court I don't understand what the f*** this butt f****** is doing I was right and they were wrong and I strongly suggested he looked at the idea not to help you sway and stuff really these guys did nothing but put about 50 nails into his own coffin

Tell you talking about you don't want to make the information public it's just no s*** Sherlock something what the hell is this mean the information they have is hard to read hard to understand we interpreted a few different ways and you have a cat litter leaves out to the living room and then goes outside I find in the woods and it comes back it took a poop there that's about the extent of it so I get something it's against the law to release it yeah who the hell is asking for that so anyways You released to the public he says it's causing confusion it makes it difficult and he says no that's not it he said it already it's against the law to release the public and the court is trying to do that someone with the hell is doing it for this is who the hell is that guy this is why what's that matter it makes the information you need admissible to court they have to remove it from the docket because it was released to the public and that's the way it used to be I don't know if there's a new law or maybe a lawyers should go back in time so they can study it again. That was he and she and I'll tell you what that makes sense that if you release it the parents can not be used against you and it's been tainted and it gets more tainted and I wanted it to myself again and I'm incriminating myself I'm looking like a popper because I'm some sort of Street person and it's starting to make sense

Trump

I did look at it and I said if they release it they might think it's true but it's actually kind of difficult to figure out convoluted there's a bunch of parties involved he said it turns into that and you only need like 1/8 of power to make it real confusing or even lead to who the real parties are and I said this why do we do that and I said I don't know but if they release that information the whole court case could be thrown out as well and those things are well known in court it's well known loss that they compromise the case and it causes a mistrial so I was glad you know I'm glad to keep it on track.. he says that he wants to us out of his hair cuz it's dangerous and we like these rogue people and it's really others a lot of times this it's starting to be disgusting and I have to go figure this out why would they even say that and he knows why and we didn't go along with it

Dave

You can personally cause you problems it's like slander it's complicated it's kind of like Nixon but it's not as illegal and it's kind of a convoluted it's like the third time you've done this the case of a Mar-A-Lago you can say this is what we thought it would be because you can say it's going to be more valuable when it's sold stuff like that it's really easy to get away with and people do it everyday and hear it possibly at work and you just keep on nailing yourself and I don't want to hear this anymore about him you're disgustingly stupid take him up there no one's going to let him near her

Tricia

It's kind of funny he says whatever happened to the other act yeah that's what she saying but yeah stupid this guy's right there's like five laws that have made a sweet it and we think that the judge is related and she said then fry yourself you idiot it was so sick of this s*** he's loud farts from him and he's a baby can't help it is Diet's a mess it seems we're harming the and it is not helping us we have to stop doing this crap we're going to get hurt I got to get out of this

Alicia

I just stop talking you'll meet with your lawyer it's a matter of fact why don't you listen to your lawyers don't bother the kid don't keep blabbing

Zues Hera

We don't want you doing it anyways it's you a lot of problems you're getting you're getting getting hit destroyed ripped apart we don't want you doing it because of that that's one reason the other is you're annoying us to do stuff your arm is still big but you know it's not necessary you're carrying on like you have stuff you don't need the public opinion and you're fixing the news the polls are not in your favorites you're fixing the poles and we are just looking at it I do understand something he's extorting us not to. It is way too easy sounding for him to get in and you find somebody wrong things and it has to be the empire but it's also this guy and he's doing a lot of three and using them as a cover going after him

Camilla

I find the situation to be horrible here what I'm doing is breaking the law all the time and telling people and I don't care about it and I should and everyone has a problem with it

Trump

Olympus yes print please

[briamichellewrites]

22

2002. Everything Bria touched turned to gold. The short film she and Topher did was getting great reviews. Critics praised her acting, as well as the film itself. Topher gave her friends and parents a screening after it was completed. They all gathered in her theatre room. She provided them with snacks, drinks and blankets. The film was forty minutes long, but she wanted them to be comfortable. There were no sex scenes because she wasn’t comfortable with that.

During the bar scenes, she was shown having a non-alcoholic drink since she was underage. Everything worn during the film was their own clothes. They hired a hair and makeup team, along with a film crew from UCLA Film School. It was mostly because it was less expensive than hiring professionals. However, it was also a great opportunity to give them real-world experience.

Topher had them submit applications. He then picked the ones he thought were the best. For the dancing scenes, he had to get the rights to use The Sound of Music. He was able to buy them with financial support from Bria. Jasper was hired as a crew leader. He got instructions from Topher, who relayed them to the rest of the crew. Working on the film was a great idea for him. After officially retiring, he enjoyed not having to make all the decisions.

His co-workers brought him a cake. The staff came to say goodbye to him and thank him for his years of being a doctor. They would miss him. Bria was not there because she had to work. She ordered his favourite meal and had it sent to him and her mother. Just so he didn’t have to cook. He greatly appreciated it. She also sent him a card of congratulations.

Mike saw parallels between his relationship with Bria and the one on film. Especially the fighting and the resentment between the two characters. The dialogue felt real and believable. They laughed when during an argument scene, Micha meowed loudly in the background. Almost as if he was improvising. They stopped arguing and looked at him. She went over and picked him up before sitting on the couch. Topher’s character came over and sat down next to her.

“What do you want me to do? I’m losing my mind here because... I love you so much. But I’m not going to be your second choice.”

“You’re my first choice. I try to prove that every fucking day. I love you, too.”

“No. No, you don’t. If you loved me, you would make time for me.”

Mike started crying silently. He wanted to crawl into the screen and tell him he was making the mistake of his life. But, he couldn’t. The post-breakup was shown with him trying to work on his book and her rehearsing for her upcoming performance with her instructor. She is shown practising in a leotard, cropped t-shirt and ballet shoes. The scenes were shot at UCLA with students and staff in the audience during her performance.

Her dancing was real. She danced like she did as a child. They could see the joy she had when she was performing in front of a crowd. She was wearing the same leotard and shoes. The scene was Jasper’s favourite because he got to watch her dance. She had to do it over and over until Topher got the shots he wanted.

When she took her bow, she spotted Topher in the crowd. He had shown up for her. They shared a smile before the screen went black. Oh my god! They got up and clapped whilst the credits ran. Topher got up and bowed. He then gestured to Bria, who also bowed.

Mike wiped his tears from his face. Meow! Micha wanted attention, so he walked in like he owned the place. They laughed. Bria had them take as many snacks and drinks as they wanted. Rob asked Micha what he thought about being in the short film. He answered him by licking his paw and using it to clean his face. Dave asked if that was a good thing. She had no idea.

They laughed again. Since it was early in the evening, they continued hanging out. Though Christina and Jasper excused themselves. They had a cat they needed to go home to. Bria hugged them and thanked them for coming, as did Topher. They then sat back down. It had been quite the year. Rob asked about her modelling career. It was keeping her busy. What was she doing? She signed a contract with Chanel to be the face of their brand.

That meant doing print work. What was that? It was advertised in magazines, newspapers, billboards and online. Anything that didn’t involve television commercials. She had to learn how to walk down the runway at “runway school”. It was not as easy as it looked, especially in heels. They laughed. Warner wanted her back in the studio, so she was finding time to do that.

Even though she was a singer first, she was okay with putting it on hold for years. What about her and Topher? No. As adorable as he was, they were not dating. She was happy being single because she was so busy. Her manager was going through offers for her to do acting work. How long was her contract? It was for two years. She would decide what she wanted to do when it expired next year. Whether it was modelling, acting or singing.

Was she still sober? Yes, she was. They congratulated her. Thank you! Being busy helped distract her from her cravings.

“My mom called me because she saw you in a magazine. She was at the dentist’s and she was waiting for her appointment. It was at like ten in the morning and I was just waking up when my phone went off. I was half asleep and she was telling me about seeing you. It took me awhile to get what she was trying to say. She was so excited, she had to call and tell me.”

“That’s adorable”, Brad said with a laugh.

“It was so adorable.”

They laughed. Meow. Princess was hungry when Jasper and Christina arrived home. She met them at the door when they walked in. He crouched down to her and asked her what she wanted. Food! She meowed again. He got up and followed her to the kitchen. She stopped to make sure he was following her. He was. She ran over to her bowl.

Once she was served like the Queen she was, she started eating. It was time for dinner. Jasper was full of energy as he went to the refrigerator. She helped him since she was starting to see the symptoms of mania. He found chicken broth, vegetables, noodles and chicken breast. They worked together to make chicken noodle soup. Because he was distracted, she had him wash the vegetables in the sink after he washed his hands.

He did. Once they were washed, he handed them back to her. She used paper towels to dry them off before cutting them. He stayed away because he didn’t want to get cut. Instead, he poured the chicken broth into the stainless steel pot. They should have preheated the oven first, but oh well. They just had to watch it.

Once the oven was ready, they added the vegetables and noodles. He got a wooden spoon and stirred everything together. She added a chopped-up onion to give it flavour. It was ready within a half hour. She made sure he turned off the stove. He double-checked. Yes, he did. He got a ladle and served her up a bowl. Thank you. They kissed before he poured himself a bowl and brought it to his place at the dining room table.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[girlbowser]

John Crocker: Consider your SISTER.

Your name is John Crocker, you're thirteen years old, and you think your older sister might be dead.

You've brought up this theory to a few friends already. Your friend DAVE just said that you need to lay off the ecto-kool, and then you got into an argument about the correct spelling of Ecto Cooler. It was pretty fun, but not the most productive.

Your friend JADE said that it was possible your older sister was dead, and suggested seeing if you could stitch up her body. You made a gross-out face in the chat, and then said that you don't think she has one anymore. She then suggested building a robot to house her spirit in, but the thought of using one of your GREAT-GRANDMA'S DRONES for that purpose really freaked you out.

Your older sister isn't very associated with the color red, in your head.

Your friend ROSE had a helpful suggestion, for her definition of helpfulness. She suggested performing an exorcism in your sister's room, to lay her spirit to rest. While you're glad for the advice (it seemed to you like Rose did genuinely believe you when you said your sister is dead), you don't want to exorcize your sister.

You just want her back.

It was at that point that Rose's older sister had walked into her room, stolen her computer, and suggested you spear her with a 2x3dent to "make S)(OR-E she's dead."

You don't like MEENAH's suggestions very much at all.

You asked your DAD what he thought about the situation. He took off his hat and stroked his clean beard and then told you that he was pretty sure that ghosts weren't real, and so everything was okay.

You choose to not believe him. You want ghosts to be real.

Because if they're not real, then your sister really is --

You don't let yourself finish the thought.

Your dad seems to sense that something about his words upset you. And you ask, again, if your older sister is dead.

Your dad smiles at you. He says ARADIA is much tougher than she looks, champ. One MOSTLY FATAL MAILBOX EXPLOSION won't be enough to take her out -- she's got the Egbert constitution in her.

You ask what Egbert means, and your dad sheepishly scratches his head and changes the topic. Besides, he says. He thinks your sister is just depressed about life in general.

You look up at your dad.

Depressed?

Your dad says he thinks it's possible. Teenage girls tend to get depressed.

You think back to your sister.

You think back to how she barely talked to you, in the days after the explosion.

You think about how she had to deal with all of the weight of the Crocker company for so long, which is all under question given the brain injuries she (might) have gotten.

You think about what it must have been like to feel it all evaporate in heat and flame.

You think about how you stood outside, where your mailbox once was

and looked into her room

and saw her floating.

And you nod at your dad.

You think you understand, now.

Your dad smiles at you, and kisses you on the head. He tells you to not worry about your sister too much today.

It's your birthday, after all. And your friends sent you gifts.

And there's a new video game you'd been meaning to try out.

---

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY, DELUXE DANCESTOR WORMHOLE NIGHTMARE EDITION. CCG: OKAY. CCG: HOLY FUCKING CHRISTFUCKING GLUBBALLS. CCG: NOBODY SAY A FUCKING WORD. PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC] 420 HOURS AGO responded to memo. PTC: WhAt In ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg ShIt ArE wE mEaNt To Be NoT tAlKiNg AbOuT? :oO CCG: JUST CCG: A CCG has set this memo to NO DOUBLES mode. Only one iteration of each user is permitted to write to this memo. CCG has set this memo to IT'S JUST A REGULAR FUCKING CHATROOM, DIPSHITS mode. Only iterations of each user contemporaneous to CCG can join this memo. Users who have already joined (PTC) will not be kicked. CCG: THERE. CCG: FUCKING CHRIST. CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] changed their chumhandle to carcinoGeneticist [CG]. CG: OKAY. CG: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT SO DON'T FUCKING WRITE BULLSHIT VANDALISM IN HERE. CG: THE JIST IS. CG: AS I'M SURE YOU'RE *ALL* TOO FUCKING AWARE. CG: AFTER WE DEFEATED THE BLACK KING, ANOTHER SESSION FUCKING EXPLODED FROM WITHIN THE ORBS ON HIS SCEPTER. CG: FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE WE EXPLODED FROM WITHIN *THEIR* SCEPTER. CG: IT DOESN'T MATTER. TURNS OUT THOSE EXTRA GRUBS I FOUND? BACK IN THE VEIL? YEAH, THEY'RE THOSE GUYS. PLAYED SBURB. SCRATCHED THEIR SESSION TO MAKE US. glamAureola [GA] responded to memo. GA: I must co+mmend yo+u o+n yo+ur ecto+bio+lo+gical pro+wess, Grey Kankri. carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned glamAureola [GA] from responding to memo. CG: AND THEY'RE ALSO TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLES, BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW FOR TROLLS. timaeusTestified [TT] responded to memo. TT: Hey, man. TT: Some of us are mer-trolls. TT: But like. Minus the mer-part. TT: Just some fuckin' ears. CG: I HATE YOU.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned timaeusTestified [TT] from responding to memo. tipsyGlubstalgic [TG] responded to memo. TG: U GLUBBIN KILLED DIRKIE CG: AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO THE FORMER MOIRAIL OF ERIDAN FUCKING AMPORA ON THIS TOPIC. caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo. CA: hey leavve her alone CA: just because she fuckin dumped me for that no-good rustblood doesnt mean i cant respect her fuckin taste CA: treat a coddamn fuschia wwith more respect karkat CG: I HATE ALL OF YOU. CG: I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T EVEN BE FUCKED TO BAN YOU. CG: FUCK. CG: OKAY. CG: I'M GOING TO KEEP TALKING. GC: 1S TH1S TH3 P4RT WH3R3 YOU M3NT1ON TH3 HUM4NS >:O CG: WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU JOIN THIS FUCKING MEMO???????? GC: S3T MY PROF1L3 TO S1L3NT >:] CG: THAT'S A FEATURE? WHAT THE FUCK. GC: 1F YOU G3T TO 4SK SOLLUX FOR 4LL SORTS OF R3STR1CT1ONS ON M3MOS TH3N 1 G3T TO H4V3 SN34KY MOD3 ON MY PROF1L3!!!!!!! CG: I AM SO FUCKING DISTURBED RIGHT NOW. CG: HOW MUCH OF MY OLDER SHIT HAVE YOU BEEN SIFTING THROUGH WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE? GC: >:] carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned gallowsCalibrator [GC] from memo.

gamersCalling [GC] responded to memo. GC: h3y, uncool!!!! sh3's 4 sup3r cool r4d 4s fuck g4m3grl, why'd you b4n h3r? CG: YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND. carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned gamersCalling [GC] from memo. CG: BUT YES. CG: HUMANS. CG: GOD MY FUCKING THINKPAN FEELS LIKE IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE TG: i wish we had a life player :( CG: I WISH THAT. CG: EVERY FUCKING DAY. CG: ALL THE FUCKING TIME. EVERY FUCKING DAY. CG: GROANNNNNNNNN. gutsyGulchgirl [GG] responded to memo. GG: What, are my )(andmade cookies not enough for you? CG: WE'RE NOT DOING THIS NOW, JANE. CG: I'M CHOOSING TO NOT BLOCK YOU. CG: BECAUSE WE ARE *FRIENDS.* CG: UGH. CG: I'M DONE. FUTURE ME TAKE OVER. twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo. TA: you blocked future you from joiiniing thii2 2hiitty fuckiing niightmare. CG: I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned themself from the memo. TG: welp TG: uhm GG: :B GG: Mwwwwwah! TG: ehehhehehe TG: hiiiii janeie TA: get a FUCKIING room. golgothasTerror [GT] responded to memo. GT: A room for what? PTC: wHo MoThErFuCkIn KnOwS, wItH tHe K-mAn. hOnK :oD TA: yeah that2 about enough of thii2. twinArmageddons [TA] invoked admin privileges and closed the memo.

AU inspired by this person's dream these doodles are quick + messy but i had to get my vision out there

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 45 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

"Let's go upstairs," I said in a hushed tone in Fox's ear.

He nodded, getting up to follow me.

"Um," Dad stopped us, holding his hand up and causing the girls to snicker.

"Dad, don't," I groaned, pushing my hair back with my hand.

"Just keep the door open," he said, his voice light yet stern.

I let out another groan and nodded, Fox looking increasingly uncomfortable.

Once we got to my room, I shut the door almost all the way, only leaving it slightly ajar.

"Your Dad's going to come up here and barge in," Fox said as he sat down on my bed, eyebrows raised as his head motioned toward the door.

"No, he won't," I assured him, turning to sit down on his lap.

He moved his hands up to my hips and leaned back slightly as my hand snaked around his shoulders, my hands meeting behind his neck.

I tried connecting our lips but Fox leaned back, his eyes blazing like a heavy thought burdened his mind.

"What's wrong?" I asked, leaning back.

"Don't you wanna kiss me?"

"Are you going to tell your parents about Susan and Dave?" his voice was argumentative like he already knew the answer to his question.

I sighed, picking myself up off him and moving to his side.

"They don't need anything else to worry about right now," I muttered, looking down at the floor and twiddling my thumbs in my lap.

"Micah's Dad was right. They can't take me and he's going to take care of Landon."

"You should still tell your parents," Fox argued, trying to put his face in my line of vision.

"So they know what's going on."

"Not right now, okay?" I said, looking up to meet his hard gaze.

"If you don't tell them, I will," he promised in an even tone.

We stared at each other in silence.

I knew he wasn't lying when he said that.

Fox was always truthful, at least to me.

I sent myself backwards, lying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

Fox was quick to follow.

He laid on his side, reaching an arm out to pull me to him.

I couldn't stop the smile from sprouting on my face.

********

Walking into school the next morning was a strange experience.

The heat of the gazes from my classmates burned into my skin, making sure I was aware of the stares I was receiving.

Trevor and Austin were standing at my locker by the time I arrived.

Austin had an impressed look on his face as I walked toward them while Trevor looked like his usual friendly self.

"Why didn't you tell us you were dating Mr. Hottie himself, Fox Ridley?" Austin questioned with a wide, playful grin.

I sighed, stealing a glance at Trevor.

He still looked like his usual self and that comforted me.

The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

"It didn't come up," I said with a shrug, moving to open my locker.

"Uh, you could've told us at the party," Austin countered, leaning against the locker next to mine.

"When he came upstairs looking for you and stood real close."

"He didn't have to tell us, Austin," Trevor defended me with a pointed look.

I bit the inside of my cheek, my eyes staring down at my shoes before moving to Trevor.

"Look, Trevor..." I started, letting out a breath.

"I, um, I didn't mean to keep it from you."

"It's okay..."

"It's just all so new and I didn't know who Fox was okay with knowing," I continued.

"Elijah, seriously," Trevor interjected, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay. Fox deserved to come out in the way he wanted with you by his side."

Trevor smiled warmly at me while Austin was looking away from us.

"It's good that he has you," Trevor said kindly.

"You're pretty great."

I chuckled, looking down at the floor.

"I don't know about that."

Trevor laughed.

"You could work on not being so self deprecating but other than that you're great."

"Where is your boyfriend, by the way?" Austin cut in, looking around the hall.

I glanced around and noticed some of the other hockey guys by their lockers but Fox was nowhere to be found.

"I actually have no idea where he is," I said as I continued my search for him.

A few moments later, Fox came storming down the hallway.

His face was etched in an irritated frown and his cheeks were slightly red.

Students in the hall parted to make a path for him as if he was blazing and creating the path himself.

The glasses I adored sat on the bridge of his nose, his fingers roughly pushing them up as he made his way over to me.

"What's the matter?" I asked, my eyebrows raised as I took in his appearance.

Fox looked slightly disheveled but the look was obviously good on him.

"I'm having the fucking worst morning of my life," he complained, pushing his glasses up again.

Austin had a sly smile on his face as he watched the two of us while Trevor looked as if he was figuring out if he should leave or stay.

"What happened?" I questioned.

"First of all I dropped my fucking contact on the floor and couldn't find it and realized I don't have any left," he started, his voice loud and snapping.

"Then," he continued.

"My car wouldn't start and no one was home to give me a ride. Mom went to work early, Dad left last night for a business trip, Robin was already working, I have no idea where Raven is."

"So you had to take the bus?" I guessed.

I was met by a glare from my boyfriend.

"No, the bus had already left," he responded, his tone growing even more irritated.

"So I had to wake Wren up to give me a ride and suffer through a car ride with him and he tried talking to me."

"Why didn't you just call me?" I asked, quirking my head to the side.

"Joshua and I could've picked you up."

"Because it's out of your way to come to my house then back to the school," he answered.

"And now Wren has to pick me up after school so I can go order more contacts."

I let out a small laugh.

"Maybe it's not such a bad thing to spend time with your brother."

He only responded with a glare.

Trevor cleared throat, gaining our attention.

Fox's eyes widened slightly like he hadn't even realized Trevor and Austin were standing there.

"I'm really happy for you, Fox," Trevor said with an easy smile.

"You should come to GSA when hockey is over."

"Oh, um, thanks," Fox stuttered, giving Trevor a tight lipped smile.

"Maybe I will."

"You guys are definitely the hottest couple in the school," Austin added with a laugh.

"Although, the straight guys would probably say it's Lexa and Nadia."

I was surprised to hear Fox laugh at that.

He seemed to relax a little bit and for that, I was grateful.

I didn't want him to be uncomfortable around my friends.

My eyes widened when I saw Joshua walking toward us but his eyes were only focused on Trevor.

"Hey, Trevor," Joshua called out, gaining the group's attention.

"Can I talk to you?"

Trevor's mouth gaped slightly and he silently nodded, following Josh down the hall.

"What the hell was that about?" Austin asked, a look of confusion on his face.

"Nothing," Fox and I said at the same time.

"Yeah, that's not suspicious at all," Austin sarcastically responded.

"I gotta go to my locker," Fox said, turning toward me and pecking me on the lips before rushing off.

I was left stunned at his public display of affection, my mouth parted as I watched him leave. Austin groaned.

"You guys are so hot."

I shook my head, laughing lightly as I playfully shoved him.

[themegahope]

Blogging like Dave Winer: the case for making more of your thoughts public

Dave Winer has been blogging since 1994. And extensively too. His output is remarkable. And the result of that is nearly everything that he references and talks about from the past has a blog post he can link to. You can see his thinking in real time and get a great deal of context.

And it makes me want to both blog more freely and frequently and also live life more publicly online. And I think that there’s good arguments to be made for writing publicly on a weblog, rather than in offline software.

I’ve used the journaling app Day One for years. It’s been around for a while and now that it’s owned by Automattic I expect it will continue to be around for many years.

But generally speaking, software is more brittle than the web. It often uses proprietary formats and is prone to abandonment. Whereas the web is more open, easier to back up and won’t go away any time soon. In 50 years time I’d be shocked if a HTML/CSS webpage can’t still be shown the average computer still. I doubt Day One will still be around.

And in my 20 years of writing and journaling I’ve used many different software. The end result of that is my writing is all over the place, in different formats and different apps.

So what if that whole time I just used something like WordPress instead? Today my thoughts would all be in one place, nicely tagged1, easily searchable and with a URL that I could link to.

Then there’s the tricky subject of death. If I die today no one is accessing my journal. A journal that might be interesting to my family. But if my thoughts were on a blog they could see them easily.

Of course there’s privacy concerns with the web. WordPress does let you make posts private or hidden behind a password. But data breaches can happen and things can leak. So that is a downside.

But my whole point is that I want more of my thoughts and life to be public. If I’m honest I’m not one of those people who pours my heart out in my journal anyway.2 So 90% of what I write I’d happily make public and that’s my aim.

With clowes.blog I’m attempting to live a bit more publicly. But it still doesn’t come close to what Dave Winer’s scripting.com does. For me to get there I need to share and write more frequently.

So I’m going to try it. I think future me will be glad I did.

I did my best to transfer my data from one service to another down the years. But one of the things that was always hardest to keep in the transfer were things like tags. If I used WordPress I would have had the same tag system from the start. ↩︎

It’s actually one of the things I like least about my journaling style. I am always thinking of an audience when I journal. I know that no one other than me is going to read it, but yet I still can’t open up and share exactly what I’m feeling. ↩︎

[thefanficmonster]

Are, Were

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Arguments, Friendship fallout, Swearing 

Genre: Friends-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers, Minor Angst and Romance elements, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Pic)

Summary: The ups and downs of Y/N and Corpse’s friendship displayed through four key chapters of their lives.

Requested by z Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request I’m so sorry I haven’t bee able to get around to it sooner but here it finally is and I hope you come across it even after all this time and if so I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

We are friends

“What if I make an ass out of myself?!“

“You won’t! God, Y/N, I promise you everything will be just fine. Dave and Felix are gonna love you.“

When you heard that Corpse’s friends were coming to California for some convention, you were initially excited mostly because that would mean having a chance of running into them at said con which you’d be attending professionally, as a part of a gaming panel especially for developers.

However. However, when that chance, small unlikely chance, was to be made into an arrangement by your best friend Corpse, you started freaking out. See, you can handle a brief interaction consisting of minor chit-chat exchange and a picture taken. What you can’t deal with is having to spend some extended time with them in the same room.

For starters, Felix has been your idol since you can remember the roots of your internet presence. He’s the one who motivated you into gaming and became your role model. That being said, your brain has convinced you that being around this human for longer than two minutes would result in you embarrassing yourself one way or another and you most certainly do NOT want that. Of course, Corpse has tried to call this theory for its flaws countless times but has had no success.

Secondly, there’s Dave who, apart from being yet another role model and inspiration for you, is also a great crush of yours. Hell, just the thought of being in this guy’s vicinity scares the bejesus out of you for the same reason as before but amplified. You can picture your red face and ears, your constantly fidgety hands and bouncing leg and overall awkward composure and posture as a side-effect of your fluster.

In short, you expect exactly what you said - to inadvertently make an ass out of yourself.

For Corpse, who’s been friends with those two for quite some time now, it’s a hard concept to grasp but he can bring himself around to understanding it. Does he still try to dissuade you? Yes. Will it work? You’re set on it not working, but if he does you’ll be damned.

*    *    *    *    *

He failed, to your delight, he did. He’s just now accepted defeat and man was it the most relieving thing to hear.

However, little did you know, he wasn’t done trying. In fact, you catch him red-handed in the act of scheming as you’re packing for the trip to the convention tomorrow.

“Yeah, their name is Y/N, Y/N L/N. They're a developer, you can catch them at the ‘World Building-Breaking Bounds’ panel. Suggest it to Felix, I’m pretty sure he’d be interested in meeting them.“ You overhear this little conversation on your way from the bedroom to the bathroom while your visitor’s sitting in the living room, sprawled out on the couch like the place is his. Although he’s trying to watch his tone, he’s not doing a particularly good job with it. “I promise you their work is of high quality.” A small pause follows which you can barely stand as you grow antsy in the hallway, “Ok, ok, I might be a bit biased because we’re friends, but they really are a gem. As a person and as a developer.”

Typically, you wouldn’t be the happiest with this endeavor. Of course, you appreciate the gesture and know that he’s doing it with the best intention and you happiness in mind, but you’d be a little prissy about it, for certain. You’ve climbed the ladder all on your own all your life and have grown distasteful of help, especially when you’re given it without any notification or question beforehand.

However, this time, you can’t find it in you to be the least bit upset. In fact, you catch yourself smiling as you force your feet to continue carrying you in the direction of the bathroom - a trip you’ve already forgotten the purpose of. Although, when you think about it, it’s probably got something to do with that last line.

It’s most definitely got something to do with that last line.

We were friends

It’s a tale as old as time - a fallout built on a mountain of pettiness with no real sustenance. One can think they’ve gathered everything about the story just by listening to one of the parties despite the other telling a similar tale with little knick-knacks that pain the first person just as badly.

In each other’s eyes, they’re probably exactly that - horrible people and even worse friends.

But, when you start comparing the two, that is if you ever get to hear both sides, of course, you’d know that it’s a simple case of miscommunication that has accumulated to a spontaneous combustion that could’ve very easily been avoided by just talking about the problems when they arose instead of shoveling them atop the already high-risen pile of minor not-completely-resolved conflicts.

That’s what’s brought you and Corpse here - a forever of miscommunication, or lack of communication entirely, and just an hour of arguing. And just like that, the friendship seems to have collapsed.

Allow me to show the readers how it comes off from different perspectives - aka what your friends heard and what Corpse’s friends - aka Dave and Felix - heard regarding the matter.

He’s so fucking full of himself! He thinks he’s allll that! Might as well have looked me in the eyes and called me incapable!

They are such an infuriating know-it-all! Condescending, sarcastic, mean, two-faced...

He had no right to bring my career into all that mess! Actually, no, I’m glad he did because what the hell did he think was gonna happen?! Hello?! I’m a game developer, he’s a streamer. He’d be nothing without my industry!

They think they’re so high-and-mighty, that they somehow ‘made’ me! I owe my following to several people, I’ll be the first to admit, but Y/N’s not one of them!

And if he thinks he has any moral high-ground when it comes to life decisions the he doesn’t

They don’t know

A

Damn

Thing

Yeah, neither of you know a damn thing, as it would seem.

We are friends

“My car’s getting fixed so be on the lookout for a silver Nissan instead.“ Corpse says over the phone as he paces his apartment, one hand holding the phone, the other brandishing a cloth against the specs of dust on the kitchen counter and cupboards.

“You got a rental specifically for us? You know we could’ve taken a taxi instead?“ Dave replies from the other line. Him and Felix have just landed and are still navigating airport customs due to some passport issue and a luggage mix-up, giving Corpse enough time to finish cleaning up the previously dingy and messy living space before he drives to pick them up.

“Um...no....“ Throwing the cloth in the trash, Corpse secures the phone between his shoulder and ear as he busies his hands with putting on his shoes in the foyer, “I borrowed it from a friend...“

“Corpse, if you bring it back with a single scratch I’ll fucking MURDER you!“ From the living room echoes a voice that inevitably gets picked up by the phone. And is also inevitably recognized by Dave, a fact Corpse is well aware of before the Brit even utters a single word, cringing slightly at the fact that he’ll have plenty to explain now that the tea’s been spilt.

“Was that Y/N?!“ The older man catches on in an instant as expected, prompting Corpse to think fast.

“Idon’tknowbye!“ And just like that he hangs up the call.

“Did you hear me!?“ your voice remerges, this time quieter and closer because you’ve ventured down the hall, “If you bring back Harlow with a single scrape...“

“You’ll bury me alive with cactuses.“ He cuts you off, finally managing to slip his foot in the forsaken shoe, “Don’t worry, I’d never dare bring harm to a car, not one I helped name, at least. Harlow the Nissan will be just fine in my company!” With a fleeting wink, he’s out the door, your car keys in hand.

“Thank you for the cactus idea, Jigsaw!“ With that screamed down the stairwell, you make a point to close the door quietly as if that will cancel out the yell all the neighbors undoubtedly heard through the thin walls.

*    *    *    *    *

“You best get to talking.“ Felix, who’s got stuck in the backseat due to Dave calling shotgun first, sticks his head between the two front seats as the vehicle comes to a slow halt at a red light.

“There’s nothing more to tell! They apologized, I apologized, that’s that. Now we’re partially roommating while their apartment’s getting sprayed for roaches. I don’t understand what more do you want.“ Corpse complains, feeling more trapped than ever with these two childishly curious and annoyingly persistent grown-ass men in a car that is factually more spacious than his own.

If only it were a Tesla and he could just ditch them, knowing they’d still get to the apartment safely.

“We want the truth and all the details because, love, you aren’t shitting anyone.“ Dave interferes, obviously siding with Felix. “If you and Y/N have anything in common is how stubborn you both are sometimes.”

“Most of the time.“ Felix corrects him.

“Most of the time.“ Dave repeats for emphasis, forcing Corpse to drop his head against the steering wheel.

“We’re friends again, that’s all that matters, isn’t it? Isn’t it enough for you?“ Corpse understands the curiosity and the involvement these two want to have. After meeting you at that convention about a year ago at this point, the three of you kindled a close friendship, binding all four in the same circle which means that when problems arose between you and Corpse, Dave and Felix immediately tried to help mend the situation any way they could, not only on your and Corpse’s behalf, but so they wouldn’t you as a friend either. They felt you growing distant during the few months following the fallout up until this point that they’ve finally been caught up on the fact that the bridges have been rebuilt.

“It’s more than enough, it’s lovely, in fact, but...“ Felix trails off, clearly having not thought this through before he had started talking.

But luckily Dave is there to pick up where he left off, “You know us Brits like our tea. So start spilling.”

In that very moment, the light changes to green, giving the driver of Harlow the Nissan an excuse not to reply and step on the gas. An activity that’s busied him enough to not catch the look his two friends exchange as to say ‘you’re thinking what I’m thinking?’

And man were they thinking correctly...

We were friends

“Guys you’re slowly losing me here, this is the most exercise I’ve had in years“ Jack complains from his spot walking between Corpse and Felix.

He’s been in the warmth of the San Francisco sun less than twenty-four hours and is already getting his ass kicked by it. Corpse has taken him, Felix and Dave on a tour through the more private places in the city where they could all easily go by incognito and man is he not having it. Of course, he’s exaggerating the exercising part, the exhaustion so is so prominent because of his massive jet-lag but he refused to go to sleep when he arrived this morning so this is what he gets in return.

“Oh no, no you don’t. You better pull those energy levels back up to meet Y/N. They’re probably the only person capable of matching your energy levels.“ Felix warns, poking the Irishman in the side, hitting a ticklish spot that immediately has him jolting upright from his slumped walking posture.

“Yeah, my USUAL energy levels, not when I’m running on an empty tank.“ Jack argues, swatting away the threatening hands of his friend. “Who is this Y/N person anyway? I never completely grasped what you were talking about. I’m so out of it, I haven’t been to string anything together.“

Dave huffs, “Where’s that Top of the Mornin coffee when you need it?” This collectively provokes a laugh out of all four of them. He follows that up with an actual answer to the asked question: “They’re our friend.”

“Actually, they are Corpse’s friend. Dave and I were just adopted into the dynamic. You’ll see, they’re a wonderful person.“ Felix adds.

Therefore prompting Corpse to throw his two cents into the ring.

“They’re not my friend.“

The simultaneous halt of two pairs of feat causes a scraping sound to echo in the humid air, soles of four shoes scraping against the asphalt.

“What?!“ Seems the two weren’t gonna cut the synchronization there, now speaking in unison as well.

“You heard me.“ For the smugness with which the sentence was said, it’s surprising that both men are still in shock while Jack is just confused. And sleepy. Not a good combination to be dealing with their crap.

“Yeah we heard you, that’s why we’re fucking dumbfounded!“ Dave points out, his voice sharp.

“Hey guys, can we at least sit down to have this conversation?“ Jack attempts but there’s no answer to his plea. There’s no room for it amidst the tension that’s risen between the two downright furious men and their smirking friend.

“So?“ Corpse has the audacity to mutter

“So?!“ The two repeat like a set of angry parrots, creating a sight Jack’s brain is loopy enough to find utterly comical to the point of breaking out in small fits of laughter.

“So what? What’s so wrong with a friend becoming something more?“

Now that shushes them up very quickly. Although the confusion has deepened, at least the anger has subsided.

And Jack’s still laughing in the background, now leaning against a lamp post. No, hugging a lamp post.

“What?“ “What’s that supposed to mean?“ The questions, while again spoken simultaneously, at least don’t match fully. But the Irishman still cracks up harder.

“You heard me.“ The cocky little shit smirks AGAIN.

“Corpse, if you say that one more fucking time, I swear to-“

Dave’s threat is cut off when the man in question raises his hands up in surrender, “Fine! Y/N is no longer my friend because they’re now my romantic partner, ok?! Significant other or lover, if you will. There! Can we all calm down now, please?”

And everyone has indeed calmed down, at least for a second. A second filled with sizzling silence, waiting to explode with excitement when the information is processed by the three brains.

Surprisingly enough, the first to do so is the fuzziest of the bunch. And it clearly has processed it in an equally fuzzy way.

“Corpse and Y/N sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G“ Jack sings and now it’s the other three’s turn to crack up into howling laughter on the side walk which would be more than enough cause for a few odd stares had they not been the only ones there.

That’s right, dear reader, our protagonists are done playing the Are, Were game. You, Y/N, are a lucky person and so is your boyfriend. God forbid you had strung your friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story any further, you would’ve given Felix and Dave a synchronized heart attack.

All is well, the end ;)

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[shmaptainwrites]

Bestie, I know your requests are closed, but when there open again, we need a part two to ‘you hung the moon’ where maybe the team meets the r at the office how many years later when she goes to see Hotch, and she’s still as happy as ever, and it’s basically all fluff.

Okay this was sent in ages ago but I always loved the idea and I finally wrote a teeny blurb for it 😁

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Warnings: pregnancy, alcohol mention

You Hung the Moon

Imaginary Wife

“So Hotch, are we ever going to get to meet the missus?” Derek asked with a raised brow.

“What is with you and your guys’ concern about my wife?” Aaron asked, quite playfully.

“Well we’ve worked with you for years man and I’ve never seen her, I’m not entirely sure she exists,”

“Morgan, I have my wedding picture on my desk,” he countered.

“I think Derek’s right,” JJ added. “That could just be photoshopped, Garcia could’ve done it for you,”

Aaron rolled his eyes at his younger co-workers, you were definitely very real.

“You know there’s an easy solution to all this,” Rossi waved his hand about. “Why don’t we all have dinner at my place, tomorrow,”

“Dave,” Aaron pressed his lips in a thin line. “I-I’m not too sure that’s a great idea,”

“Why not? It’s a fantastic idea!” he exclaimed. “Plus I’ve already met her what’s the big deal,”

“It’s just (Y/N)’s got to be a little careful with what she eats right now I don’t really want to make it too complicated-,”

“Wait, you married a dieter?” Now Penelope was in on the conversation. “How does she do it?”

“Garcia she’s not a dieter, she’s-,”

“Hey pretty boy!”

Out of instinct, Derek turned around, but was met with an unfamiliar face entering the bullpen, all the while Aaron seemed to have the biggest smile on his.

You walked straight up to him, placing a forgotten lunch on the table before he stood up to greet you with a kiss.

“Hi, pretty lady. We were just talking about you,”

“Oh really?”

You looked over at the rest of the team and waved to which a few of them, mouths agape waved back.

“Mhmm, they didn’t think you were real since they hadn’t met you yet,”

“It’s like you with the dishes,” you joked. “As long as you can’t see them they don’t exist,”

That made him chuckle and the whole group of profilers thought that somehow you had kidnapped their boss and taken him to an alternate dimension and replaced him with whoever this was.

“And Garcia, as I was saying she’s not a dieter, she’s just-,”

“Pregnant,” you finished.

As if it wasn’t obvious you did have about five months worth of belly to prove it.

“So you’ve all met her now we don’t have to do this dinner thing,” Aaron seemed very pleased with himself but you had different thoughts.

“Dinner? Aaron, that would be nice,” you hummed. “I haven’t gotten much of a chance to get to know you all yet,”

Before Aaron could say anything Dave interjected.

“We could get together at my place tomorrow,” he said. “You can call me and let me know what you can and can’t eat,”

“Awesome, thank you Dave,” you smiled. “Well, as much as I would love to stick around I bolted over here on my lunch break,” you sighed. “I’ve got about thirty, nine-year-olds waiting to learn about multiplication,”

“Thank you for bringing this,” Aaron pointed to the bagged lunch before giving you a smooch.

He then bent down so he was at eye level with your stomach pressing a sweet little kiss to its centre to say goodbye to your baby.

Once he came back up you stole one last kiss before heading back out towards the door.

“Bye pretty boy,”

“I love you pretty lady,” he waved back and as soon as the elevator doors closed the shock of the team dissipated and there was a cacophony of arguments.

“Okay so not only is she real she’s also pregnant?!” Derek exclaimed. “Hotch when were you going to tell us? When your kid turns five?”

“And since when do you use pet names?” JJ asked.

“Since always?” he shrugged. “I’ve known her since the summer before I started college,”

“But you’re so-so different with her than at work?” Penelope frowned. “It’s like there’s two Hotchs,”

“Garcia, that’s called being professional,” Aaron chuckled a little. “Look, you met her and you’re going to see her again tomorrow so why don’t you save some of your questions for then,”

“Okay, but one more,” Dave chimed in. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” Aaron smiled. His little girl that he had no doubt would look exactly like her mama.

—

“Aaron your shoulders are so tense, loosen up a bit,” you came behind your husband and gave him a squeeze before pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“I’m allowed to be stressed (N/N), as much as I love the team they can-,”

“Be a bit much? Pretty boy, I’m an elementary school teacher who’s pregnant. A bit much is how I live my life,” you teased, turning him around and undoing his tie and tossing it on the bed before unbuttoning his collar. “Much better,” you smiled. “Lose the jacket too,”

He sighed, but listened to your instructions, unable to hide his smile. One thing that had never changed for worse between you both was how much he loved you. If anything each day he found reasons to love you more.

“What do you think?” you asked, motioning to your own outfit,a long flowy maternity dress with a cardigan overtop. For jewelry you were wearing a matching set of earrings and a necklace that Aaron had bought you for your anniversary along with your wedding ring, something Aaron was thankful to have inherited from his mother’s side of the family especially since getting married in a college student’s budget was already tight.

“You look amazing as usual,” he smiled. “What does the baby think? Are mommy and daddy good to go?” he asked, wrapping his hands around your stomach and feeling a faint kick.

“I think our sweet little girl thinks we’re ready,” you laughed. “Come on, let’s go before I have to drag you over to Dave’s,”

Aaron rolled his eyes and you prepared to leave the house together, getting into the car and driving off to, as you liked to call it, Rossi manor.

“Hey look who’s here, the guest of honour,” Dave greeted when you walked into the house.

“Oh please,” you chuckled, giving the man a hug. “How are you?”

“Not too bad, although one more minute alone with those guys and I might’ve had to take drastic measures.”

That made you giggle and you looked over to Aaron who shook his head and handed Dave the gift you had brought for that night.

“Wine, yes they really do not need more of that so I’m going to hide it,” Dave said. “But I did get you a non alcoholic one, it was Caroline’s favourite when she was expecting,”

“Thanks Dave you really didn’t have to-,”

“See look I told you we totally met her, she’s real,” Penelope pointed over to you and pushed one of the team members you hadn’t yet met in your direction.

“Hi,” you laughed, “I’m the imaginary wife and mother of his child,”

“I’m Emily,” she shook your outstretched hand and you looked over to see if there was anyone else you hadn’t met.

“And you haven’t met this guy either,” Derek said, pointing to who you assumed Aaron had told you was Spencer. “I know you call that one pretty boy,” he motioned to Aaron. “But Reid’s the pretty boy of our office,”

Introductions were down and you thought things had started smoothly, even though Aaron seemed to be extremely protective of you which you found odd given he had told you that he trusted his team with his life on many occasions.

Dinner was ready shortly after and you all made your way to the dining room where you started to chat and eat, exchanging both office and home life stories.

“So how did you guys meet?” JJ inquired. “Hotch tells us it was the summer before college but that’s about all we can get from him,”

“Well he’s not lying,” you started. “Are you sure you don’t wanna tell it?” you looked over at Aaron and asked him.

“I can tell if you want me to,” he nodded.

“Please do, you share it much better than I can,”

Aaron put down his fork and knife before wiping his hands with a napkin and figuring out where to start.

You loved listening to him share the story of how you met and fell in love because he shared the small things, the little details you never knew he had picked up on, and it really did show how well you knew each other and how far along you had come.

The team listened attentively as he shared, the story coming close to your favourite part, how he proposed.

“So I took her up to that favourite spot of hers, right outside of town. We had a small picnic dinner, nothing super special considering we were on a tight budget already, but after the sun set and the stars came out I took out my grandmother’s wedding ring and asked her to marry me,” he smiled fondly over at you while you squeezed his hand under the table. “Still the best decision of my life,”

“So you got married when you were twenty?” Penelope asked.

You nodded.

“Then why have you kept her a secret all this time?” Derek joked.

“I wouldn’t call it a secret,” Aaron offered.

“He’s just protective of me. Always has been,” you interjected. “And now with the baby he really doesn’t wanting me touching Quantico with a ten foot pole,”

That earned a laugh from the table and conversation continued. You leaned over and pressed a quick discreet kiss to Aaron’s cheek.

“What was that for?”

“A thank you for telling my favourite story, pretty boy,” you grinned.

“Anytime pretty lady, really,” he smiled. “Anytime,”