#real dialog from my work shift

[clownhonkbonk]

thanks nikola you mother fu

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

word count: 8.9K

paring: Wolf!Bakugou x fReader

warning(s): cunnilingus, marking (biting and claws), loss of virginity, loss of innocence, some blood (very minor and only mentioned briefly), and dirty talking/slight degradation.

authors note: well, hello again! I'm currently in the middle of writing something new, but I figured it might be a good idea to repost some of my favourite works from my old blog here - especially this one (and another one soon) as I will be adding a sort of continuation to this story; so best to have both in one place - just to tide you over until new pieces are done. Besides I am quite fond of this one, spun three wheels to get prompts (dialog of “Can I just hold your hand?�� the trope of Fake Dating, and the AU being Fantasy). I've always enjoyed how this turned out, though it is one of my first works so apologies if it doesn't have the same caliber, and I hope you all do too - I know Bakugou is quite the favourtie~ 🔮

You weren’t from around here.

Bakugou could tell the moment you entered this seedy tavern, the way your boots clicked against the old wood made his ear shift to your direction, His whole head following suit when he could smell the sweet scent that sat on your skin.

You stuck out like a sore thumb. Maybe not to all the other low lives that surround this place, but Bakugou could tell. Your clothing, though it seemed to match that of the other women around, was too well-tailored; the cloth too fine and expensive and the leather used was not worn enough.

And you had jewels; real ones he could tell. Though you did hide them well, he just had very good eyesight. And really that was the main reason he kept his gaze on you. He wouldn’t mind snagging a few of them for himself; it would allow him to live comfortably for a while – and you could spare a few, couldn’t you?

But there was also a hint of curiosity too; a noble-born on the run? What kind were you exactly? A runaway Princess perhaps? No. He rolled his eyes at himself for the thought – there weren’t nearly enough royal guards around searching for you and causing a ruckus for you to be that.

But there were a few. So perhaps a Countess or even a Duchess? His money was on the latter. The way you carried yourself was not as self-assured and haughty as those that were countesses. If he remembered correctly, those women always flaunted their wealth because they had something to prove.

But the way you sat down and paid for a drink made it clear you didn’t have anything to prove; so, a countess you were not.

You were a pretty thing too. A beauty like you didn’t come around these parts often, and Bakugou couldn’t help but want to continue to look at you. He wasn’t the only one, all these lecherous creatures that were around kept glancing your way – their excitement clear as the whole place grew rowdier.

Not like they had a chance with you, not in hell. They would have to stick with the barmaids and brothels full of women to satisfy any of their barbaric needs. And though Bakugou was technically a part of these grotesque creatures, he was more human than anything; most wolves were. If anyone had a chance it was definitely him.

He knew he was good-looking, could probably pass for a Prince himself if it weren’t for the stupid ears, claws, and tail that held him back. Reduced him to living with others like him on the outskirts of the land, to be treated as a lesser than. That’s why he always found joy whenever a noble, like you, wandered around his turf. He loved scaring them, the frightened expressions as they tried to weakly defend themselves always proved that they were the ones that were beneath him.

But you were different. Bakugou didn’t want to scare you into giving him what he wanted, he wanted you to give it willingly.

“It’s rude to stare.” You mumbled, as you picked up the large mug placed before you and brought the frothy drink up to your lips.

“You’re not gonna like it.” Bakugou replied, eyes moving back to stare at his drink, swirling it, like he was doing before you walked in.

You just rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head lightly before taking a sip. The froth was nice and fizzy, but the rest of it all was the most bitter thing you ever placed in your mouth. You grimaced as it slid down your throat, making it burn all the way down to your stomach. You held back your coughs in defiance of the stranger beside you, not wanting to prove that he was right.

“Told you.” He chuckled, his tone mocking as he downed the rest of his drink, he rested the glass back down heavily on the counter before him “It’s the most bitter thing in this whole world, but it gets you messed up the fastest. But I don’t think you knew that, did you, princess?”

“Don’t call me that….” You mumble, bringing the glass back up to your lips – though it was awful it was helping you blend in more “M’not a princess”

“Could have fooled me.” Bakugou purred as he slunk closer to you, forgetting his glass entirely “Then what are you exactly?”

Your exasperated sigh just made his grin, wolfish and almost feral, spread wider on his face as he leaned on the bar counter; your arms almost touching. You shuffled as much as you could away from the stranger, his breath reeked of alcohol, and you weren’t overly comfortable with how close his face was to yours.

“A traveler, just like you.” You kept your tone pointed, trying your best to prove to this stranger that you didn’t want to talk to him or have him as close as he was.

“No, you’re not.”

“Oh really, now?” You asked through gritted teeth, unable to stop your angry gaze to fall back onto him and his shaking head “And how would you know?”

“These clothes….” He started picking at the wrist of your cotton sleeve, sharp claws ran delicately up and down your forearm “Are too nice, too well-tailored. If you really were a traveler then they wouldn’t be as clean and pristine. They would look more rugged like that chick over there.”

You followed his head movement to where a woman, surrounded by a few men around a dark wooden table, sat drinking merrily – not caring that with each shove and playful push would cause half their ale to slosh onto the floor. But the stranger was right, though her clothing looked nearly identical to you, it wasn’t quite as polished. Loose strings would hang off cuffs and hems, the colouring of the fabrics was more dull, not as vibrant. She looked like she had traveled across many lands, you looked like you just started.

“And” You tensed when you felt his breath in your ear and his hand wandering to your waist “Not many people around here have trinkets such as yours.”

You gulped, throat suddenly very dry, as you looked back at his face; the glint in his eyes made you even more nervous. A lamb suddenly in the jaws of the wolf.

“Are you going to rob me?” You asked, voice trembling. Fright filled your being and shook your body in his loose hold, as you watch him lick his lips “Are you going to hurt me?”

“No.” He chuckled, mirth feeling his being over your frightened state “I’m just wondering who you are, and why you showed up here.”

“Why?”

“Call it curiosity.” He shrugged his shoulders, eyes darting towards the entrance of the tavern; watching briefly as two well-dressed and armed men entered “And you better tell me quickly before they figure out you’re here.”

Your head darted to the entrance as well, eyes widening in fear as you saw the insignia engraved on their chest plates; there was no doubt they were here for you. And that bastard who wouldn’t let you go knew it too.

“Can I just hold your hand?”

“What!?” You whipped your head back as you watched him pull away from you, your breathing quickening in pace as your heart was thumping loudly in your chest that you knew that he could hear it.

“Just take my fucking hand!” He hissed at you, a hand quickly grasping yours before you really had a chance to reach it out to him.

He slunk his other arm so it was now encircled around your waist as he nodded his head at your drink; silently asking you to hold it up for him. You did with a shaky hand, the proximity of his entire being – having it wrapped around you like this – was making your cheeks flush red. You had never been this intimate with a man before, let alone with a stranger. It was all so incredibly overwhelming, it didn't help that being this close only made you realize how attractive he really was.

You wanted to take your eyes off his face, especially when you watched his tongue peek out from his lips to lick around his mouth at the few drops of your drink that spilled out due to your clumsy hand not keeping it steady. You could see his eyes darken and it made you want to shy away; out of fear or something else, you were not sure - the weird sensation that flushed your body was foreign and frightening.

You almost forgot all about the armed men hunting for you until you heard one call out to the pair of you; two pairs of boots rushing to where you sat. You wanted to let out a sigh of relief when his eyes moved from your face; but held back the urge.

“What?” His gruff tone proved he was agitated as he glared daggers at them, almost smirking when he saw them be taken aback by him.

“Excuse your tone!” One of them spoke first, chest-puffing out to look more intimidating than he was. “You do not speak that way to a royal guard!”

“Well, sorry” His mocking tone countered the apology “But I don’t appreciate having you assholes ruining the moment I was sharing.”

“Well, that woman-!” The other interjected, clearly not as afraid as his partner as he got into the stranger's face “Is the runaway Duchess of House L/N! And we are on direct orders to bring her back!”

‘Ah, so you were a Duchess’ Bakugou thought to himself as a smirk crept its way on his face; both out of knowing his assumption about you was right and from this dick of a man who thought he could take him on for size.

“Do you really fucking think that?”

“Don’t speak to me that way.” The man’s tone was dark, his teeth on display as he started to draw his sword out, to prove he meant serious business.

“Then don’t speak to me like that!” Bakugou snarled, fangs on display to show he also meant serious business “Or threaten me in front of my mate! Continue to do it and I’ll rip your throat out right here and now.”

The low, continuous, growl that was coming from his chest was breaking the guard’s tough façade – though it was barely noticeable. But Bakugou could tell that he was getting a little frightened by him, especially when he glanced towards your profile and saw you trembling with fear. Though he couldn’t stare at you for long as he watched a clawed hand place itself at the back of your head and pull you into his chest.

“If she really was the person you’re claiming her to be, then why the fuck would she be in here? Why would she be in a situation like this? Why would she let a beast like me this close?” Bakugou narrowed his eyes at the two men before, as if to challenge his logic wrong.

You both could see, though your vision was limited, the guard’s hand trembling on the hilt of his sword; clearly taking this stranger’s word as fact and now debating what to do next. Bakugou could see the conflict in his eyes – clearly not knowing if he should harass the two of you or move one. His partner, on the other hand, took a step away.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” Bakugou muttered, his eyes watching the weaker of the two, “Now if you’re done threatening us, I suggest you leave before this gets real fucking messy”

You had to commend his acting, truly, as the more brash guard stood upright. He muttered something under his breath, though you couldn’t hear, before both pairs of boots walked sullenly away from you; the footsteps becoming harder to hear the further they went until you couldn’t hear them anymore. A sign that they had left the tavern. The coast now being clear.

“They bought it?” You whispered, pulling yourself more upright as you looked towards where they left.

“Of course, they did” He shrugged, taking your drink once more and downing the last of it “They’re not smart. Besides….” You felt sharp claws take a gentle purchase under your chin to turn your head back to him “They wouldn’t want to fight someone like me”

“Aren’t you full of yourself?” You scoffed, moving away from him fully now. Your mind now coming back to you.

“A ‘you’re welcome’ would be fucking appropriate right now, sweetness. Especially seeing as I risk my life to get you out of that bind.”

You felt him grip your wrist again, and when you looked up at him you could see that same self-satisfied smirk back on his face. It made you roll your eyes and look away once more, a clear look of displeasure on your face as your lips formed a scowl.

He was right, he had helped you out of a really tough bind. His on-the-spot thinking meant that you didn’t have to go back to your home kicking and screaming within those guards’ hold. But, at the same time, he kept touching you without permission. Along with his full-of-himself attitude made saying your gratitude feel as bitter as that liquid burning down your throat.

“Thank you.” You finally managed to mutter out, pulling your hand away from his grip, your scowl deepening further.

“That muuuuuch better!” He cooed, his mocking tone made you ball your fists in anger; but that seemed to only spur him on even more “Now come on, pay up.”

“Pay up…?” You mumbled, your eyebrows furrowing as confusion replaced the annoyance “What…?”

“You owe me, sweetness. Did you a huge favor, now you’re gonna repay me in kind” His arms crossed over his chest that was now puffed out in overconfidence “I can think of a few ways you can too, though let’s start with why those losers were after you in the first place, duchess.”

You sighed; you knew that you had no real choice in the matter, there was no way you were getting out of this. He was strong, and though it was a little hard to tell due to his olive coat and baggy clothing, you were sure he could easily overpower you without breaking a sweat. And well, you weren’t made to fight.

“Fine. I –“ You began, only for one of his fingers to press against your lips; effectively shushing you from speaking further.

“Not here, sweetness” He smirked, enjoying that his little nickname made your nostrils flare in annoyance. “As much as I would love to see you plastered off your ass, I’ve had enough of those low-life extras staring at you.”

He tilted his head towards the other patrons. And true to his word a lot of them were giving you, what they thought were sneaky, glances your way. It could be due to the display that just occurred with those guards stomping your way and causing a scene, but with the suggested undertones of the stranger's words made you question those glances as innocent curiosity.

“Good idea…” You nodded, pulling your head away when you felt the tip of his claw tickle your nose.

You watched him get to his feet, offering you his hand after he got a few paces ahead of you; as if realizing that you didn’t know where he was going. You gingerly took hold of his hand and allowed him to pull you from your seat to stand before him. It was at that moment you realized just how tall and imposing he was compared to you. He didn’t really seem that way when he was hunched over the bar counter, but now? Well, it was enough to make a shiver run down your spine when he loomed over you with that wolfish smirk as he wrapped his arm around you and began to lead you out of the seedy place.

“W-wait!” You whispered; voice frantic as you tried to gain some sense of control over this less-than-ideal situation you found yourself in “I need to know your name before we go any further.”

You heard him huff out an annoyed groan, bringing his free hand up to pass through his hair before it fell limply at his side. “It’s Bakugou, now come on.”

He didn’t give you any time to say anything else, or really to process what he just said. His name only ran through your head with certainty when you felt the cool summer night’s air hit your face.

~ 

It was cold.

And damp. Though it was to be expected to some degree in the dense forest you were currently being dragged within. It put you on edge, every little thing that moved and seemed to whisper through the branches; made you tense and cause your breath to quicken at points.

Though after the first little leg of the journey you felt silly for being so afraid. Arguably the most fearsome creature within these forests was the one that was walking beside you in the first place, so really what harm could befall you if you had him on your side?

Bakugou.

He was leading you through this place with expert ease like he had done this thousands of times before to the point where it was more memory than thinking. To where, you were not sure, but given the familiarity and ease you could only assume he was leading you to his home; or den, or cave, or wherever it was a creature like him would rest his head.

The moment you began walking, out of earshot of all those around, he asked you to tell your tale; wanting to fill the silence and hear just what led you here in the first place. And though he was quite chatty at the tavern just moments prior, he was quiet now. Trudging along like it was a chore. Listening to you with almost disinterest even though he was the one curious about your situation in the first place.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t listening or found it boring. He was just lost in thought at the details of your story. How overly complicated life was like at court. All those rules and regulations on how to do the most mundane of things, like living and eating, all boiling down to a miserable, controlled, and boring life.

He didn’t envy you at all. If he had to wake up every day and be told what to wear, how to wear it, how to eat, how to talk to people, he may have just ended it all and run away too. No amount of wealth was worth living in such a way.

Though his interest peaked when you brought up the engagement. The straw that broke the camel’s back as it were; the whole reason you ran off in the first place. It caused his ear to stand pointed atop his head as he listened to your mutterings as best he could.

Enji Todoroki, that was the man who had asked for your hand. That was the man your parents more than willingly threw you out to if it meant more land to their name. Bakugou almost laughed at the sudden shift in your tone when speaking about him, with such anger and disdain. A far cry from the soft-spoken women you were moments prior.

But you couldn’t help it. You didn’t want to marry this cruel man. You didn’t want to be sold out to him like cattle simply for more prosperity for your family. The only reason he was interested was because you were a pretty young face, nothing more really.

It made Bakugou roll his eyes. Of course, Enji would be asking for your hand, even someone like him knew the habits of that old man. One recently separated from his wife and was now looking for a younger, prettier, bride. It was all people could gossip about for months. Wondering which woman he was going to propose to – and well it seemed like it was you.

It was ridiculous really. Not only could he be your father, but he also had sons that were of marrying age. In fact, a more suitable match would be for you to marry one of them. You knew that Shoto was your age, and it would still lead to fortune for your family as he would inherit plenty.

But no. Your parents wanted your life, your destiny, to be tied to the older man. To breed and bear his children until another younger and more beautiful thing came around. It happened to his previous wife, and you knew it would happen to you.

“I deserve more.” You declared, your rant about the whole situation over “I won’t even say I deserve love. I just want to be with someone who at least respects me, and I can tolerate sitting in a room with.”

You let out a loud sigh, glancing at your companion who was still as quiet and unreadable as when you started. The only thing that indicated that he was still listening, or just remembering your presence, was the small hums of acknowledgment he would give every now and then.

“I don’t think that’s too much to ask…” You mumble out, feeling slightly awkward from the silence that had now befallen you.

“Your life is ridiculous.” Bakugou finally muttered, bringing a hand up to move a branch out of his way “No wonder you want to fucking leave it. I wouldn’t wanna spend one day as you, let alone deal with that bullshit.”

He had a way with words, one that made you chuckle at how brash and crude they were. No one dared speak that way at court, let alone around a lady. But you found it refreshing that he didn’t care; that he spoke what was on his mind regardless of decorum. That he was honest.

“What are you smiling at?” Bakugou asked, tone irritated as he looked down at you – hating the way your lips turn upwards in that annoying little grin.

“Nothing…” You giggled out, your tone going up in a teasing way as you turned away from him. “You just talk differently.”

“Eh!? What do you mean by that!” He yelled, stepping ahead, and blocking your path with ease.

“I-I don’t mean any harm by it!” You held your hands up in defense to prove your point further “I like it actually…”

The way you mumbled out the last part, and how you bashfully moved your head to look downwards made the man before you smirk. That wolfish grin was back on his face, one that you didn’t know whether you missed or hated, as he leaned down to breathe in your ear. The way you shivered slightly when it hit your ear did not go unnoticed by him.

“If you like that, then you’ll love the way I sound when - !”

You pushed past him before he could even think of finishing that thought; catching him off guard if the little grunt was any indication. Your whole being was too flustered to even want to know where his mind was going.

“D-don’t!” You warned, your voice still sounding nervous but the volume it was at was proof you meant serious business “I don’t want to know!”

You were cute like this, Bakugou couldn’t deny. A little thing so easily flustered by him was refreshing, and it made the animal in him roar loudly. Oh, what he would do to something like you. He would absolutely wreck you, ruin any little part of innocence you had left within you.

His motive now changed. He no longer wanted your trust so you could give him those jewels that were tucked neatly away. He wanted something more precious, more untainted than money. But he would have to play it smart if he were ever going to obtain it.

“Come on,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, trying to seem unfazed by your little outburst “It’s only a little further ahead.”

“What is?” You asked, fidgeting on the spot as you watched him walk ahead and away from you once more – his arm pulling back a branch to clear the path before you.

“My house, dumbass. I want to get out of the cold as soon as possible, so hurry up!”

You didn’t hesitate to scramble yourself forward; feet trying their best to move as quickly as they could to heed his command. You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to get out of the cold night’s air and get some rest. Even if it was in the home of the strange man-wolf in front of you.

~ ~ ~

His home was not what you expected it to be.

Not at all.

It was cozy. A small cottage that seemed just the right size for someone to live in comfort, but not with too much space to spare. It looked soft too, the upholstered chairs, his bed, even the bear-skinned rug before his fireplace, all looked so soft. That if you were to touch them you would delve into them – sinking eternally in their plushness.

It really was what you wanted most. You had been running all day, and after that walk through the forest to get here, only proved just how worn your feet and body had become. You sighed out in relief once you had the chance to take off those dreaded boots; watching in curiosity at the wolf before as he placed birch logs into the open maw of the fireplace. Humming constantly when those logs burned and quickly filled the home with a gentle warmth.

“Get over here.” You heard Bakugou growl out, watching him in confusion as he rested back on his haunches; elbows resting on his knees as he rubbed his hands together at the flickering flames. 

“Come on!” He urged again, head finally snapping back to you. Rolling his eyes at the witless expression on your face as you continued to stand uncomfortably at his threshold “I know you’re cold, so hurry and get yourself warm.”

You nodded your head, scrambling once more to heed his command. Feet padding gently on the wooden floor before it was muted by the softness of the fur before the fire. When you sat, you couldn’t stop yourself from running your hands through the dense fur, marveling at how it felt under your fingertips. This was possibly the only time you would ever get to touch this kind of beast, and you were going to enjoy it as much as you could.

Though, after a few moments the lure of the fire called your name. Your cold bones were unable to resist the temptation and you found yourself with outstretched arms towards it. Enjoying the warm glow as flames almost seemed to lick and nip at your fingertips.

“What’s your next step?” Bakugou asked, unable to keep himself quiet. Not when he had you all to himself once more “You’re staying the night, obviously. But after that.”

His tone made it clear that it wasn’t up for debate on whether or not you would find shelter here for the night or continue on your way. Not that you were complaining. You would spend every day here in the warm solitude this small cottage provided.

“I’m not sure…” You finally whispered out, after pondering that question in your head for a few moments. “To be honest I didn’t expect to get this far…”

You saw the look he gave you; it was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. Like he couldn’t believe that you truly had no plan, no thoughts on where you might go and do, as you figured the moment you started to run you would be caged again. It made you pull your hands back into your lap, fidgeting with them nervously, clearly showing you were a little embarrassed by your truth.

“He’s a powerful man.” You reasoned, trying to get him to understand “And I have never known life outside of my family’s estate and court. I wasn’t expecting to get far with the little knowledge I had. Or with his hounds on my tail…”

You chuckled, Bakugou joining you for a moment as well, remembering those idiotic guards you had crossed paths with. How useless they were. Though, after tonight you knew more would be spread out in an attempt to find you. And as the man before you had stated the moment he met you, you stuck out in a crowd. So really, where could you go to hide?

“I have nowhere to go.” You finally admitted, shaking your head. You had been foolish to even think that this would work in the first place “Even if I were able to slip through the border, someone would alert them of me once I tried to sell my jewels. Or they would take them and sell me out for the bounty that will surely be over my head soon.”

“So what? That’s it?” Bakugou retorted, bewilderment in his tone at how easily you were accepting defeat “All that work just to go running back with your tail between your legs!?”

“I don’t have a choice!” You snapped back, eyes narrowing back at his own “I have no friends outside these walls. Only those that wish to see me go back to that horrid fate for a quick coin! Much like you!”

“I don’t want your stupid jewels anymore!” Bakugou defended, hands turning into fists at your truthful accusation – claws digging into his palms.

“So what? You still wanted them the first moment you saw them! Who is to say someone else won’t rob me for what I have on me, and leave me penniless and stranded? Or worse…”

You shook your head at those horrid thoughts. Not wanting to think of those dark and twisted outcomes that may befall you if you were to continue out of these woods. And though returning back to that man was not a fate you wished to have, it was better than whatever may come to you if you continued.

“The safest outcome for me is going back….”

You whispered your sealed fate; taking in a shaky breath to try and calm yourself down, trying your best to ignore the crimson eyes that stared intently at you. Though those breaths quickly turned heated as anger clouded your mind. You threw your fists against the rug as you let out a wail of frustration and anger over that decision; a foot kicking out to topple the small stack of wood that sat before you.

“It’s just not fair!” You declared through clenched teeth “It’s my life! Why can’t I have any say in how it will go!? Why do I have to marry that bastard?”

You took one glance at the man beside you, searching his eyes for some sort of answer. When you could not find one, you sighed out once more before bringing your knees to your chest, resting your chin upon them like a pouting child.

“If you’re gonna have to go back…” You heard Bakugou, his tone softer as if in sympathy for you, as he raked his brain for that solution you were hoping for “Then get even with them.”

“What?” You softly questioned, your face turning back to him – that wolfish grin was back, and it made you nervous at what he was going to say next.

“If you’re gonna have to marry that asshole no matter what. Then the best way to get back at them all is to give up that sweet virtue of yours. And what better ‘fuck-you’ would it be if you gave it to someone like me?”

Your mouth went dry at his words, finding it near impossible to swallow that lump that was now in your throat. He wanted you to do something that was ingrained into you since childhood as sacred; something only to be done to by the person you were to be bound with for the rest of your living days on this land.

And the almost casual way he brought it up, accompanied by those burning eyes – ones that made the fire before you seem mild in comparison – meant that this wasn’t his first time in seducing a lady; to ask her to keep him company for the night.

But a part of you couldn’t help but be seduced by it all. By the thought of going against tradition, against your family, and especially against that man that already broken the sacred oaths before; so why shouldn’t you? Why should you deny yourself this one, and only, rebellion you could dish out? Why should you deny yourself to feel the touch of this handsome man before you? One that seemed to want to give you, probably, the only night of passion and enjoyment you will ever receive?

You couldn’t.

And that was probably why you felt your heart nearly explode in your chest, as a fire ignited in your belly once you felt his warm and slightly chapped lips touch yours.

Your whole body seemed to melt when you felt his palm reach up to caress your cheek and pull you closer, and deeper, into the sweet kiss. A gesture that seemed so small, yet it showed to you a level of tenderness that he had yet to openly give you since you met him. It made you want to return his kiss with fervor.

Bakugou chuckled at your eagerness, finding it endearing at your clumsy and inexperienced actions that were hidden behind your enthusiasm. It meant that you wanted this. And if you wanted this, then it meant that he could show you a night you will never forget. One that you would remember every single time that old bastard took you into his bed at night – that whenever he took you, you would only be reminded of him instead.

That thought made Bakugou growl deep within his chest. For some reason, he really hated that thought. And when he pulled away from the kiss, he couldn’t help himself but duck lower, to your neck, and start to leave his mark on the untouched flesh.

Your whimpers doing nothing but spur him on. He wanted to hear every little sound you could make; wanted you to hear you wail, moan, and scream his name. The animal in him was being set loose, and he was trying his hardest to not let it run free. Though it was proving harder to do when he felt your trembling hands tug at his coat, feeling your hands slip under the fur of his collar to the smooth skin underneath it.

“Kiss me again” You breathlessly whispered to him, your hands pushing down on his neck to bring him closer “Please?”

Bakugou was unable to suppress his low groan at your words, as he brought his head away from your neck back up to yours. Lips clashing with yours in a messy kiss, one that he dominated easily. Who was he to say no to such a pretty request?

Your kisses become more urgent, almost hurried as the moments pass. Unable to let each other part for too long, even if it was to breathe. A part of it was because his lips felt so wonderful on yours, a tantalizing sensation that left you tingling all over. But the other reason was out of bashfulness. Unable to let yourself fully part from him, to look at him, as he slowly untied and unbuckled every piece of clothing you had.

His touches were gentle. The way his fingertips, and claws, would slightly drag over your skin, like a butterfly’s kiss, made goosebumps appear in their wake. Made you shiver and let out shaky breaths as you parted from one another. Your breath mingling with his, and allowing this reprieve, to fully undress.

You bit your tender lip when you felt his heated gaze wash over your skin. It made you squirm; made you place your hands around your chest to hide from his piercing gaze. Unable to stand the heat of it.

He truly was a predator that caught himself a prize, at least that’s how it seemed when he looked at you. He certainly didn’t appreciate you hiding your beautiful skin from him, your wonderful body. A low growl, one that almost mimicked the warning he gave to those guards an hour prior, rumbled into his chest as he pulled your arms away from your chest.

His grasp was firm, but not painful, you could feel the warning in it; telling you to not do something similar again as he laid your nearly bare form down onto the fur. Pinning your arms above your head

“Keep them there.” Bakugou commanded, his rumbling voice that resembled gravel made it clear to you that you had to obey.

And obey you did. You relaxed your arms and turned your wrist inwards as your fingers once again threaded through the bear’s fur. Trying your best to keep yourself grounded, avoiding becoming too sheepish, as to let him continue his ministries.

Swift hands made quick work of your skirts, ridding them and causing you to lay bare before him; the first man to ever see you this was since you were a babe. His gaze was telling more than words ever could at just how wonderful you seemed to look. And though you couldn’t keep eye contact with him for long, he could see the heat in your eyes as well once he started to shed his garments. That smug smirk was the main reason you turned your head away.

Bakugou’s hands started tracing your collarbone, following it along from shoulder to shoulder. His lips came down onto it a moment later to lavish it with wet kisses. You could feel his smirk on your skin when he nipped at a particularly tender spot, enjoying how your hips bucked up slightly into his own.

He was enjoying this as much as you. If the slight breeze of air that came in contact with your legs, the slight brush of coarse hair, caused by the wagging of his tail was any sign. It made you giggle breathless as you watched the appendage pick up speed the lower his lips descended on your body.

He kept up this tender care all throughout your chest. Slowly moving his hands downward, his lips following moments later over the swell of your breasts, allowing the soft kisses to distract you as his fingers pinched at your hardening nipples.

Your mewls spurred him on to take one of the hardened buds into his mouth, eyes glancing up to see if you were liking the way his tongue flicked over it rapidly. Chuckling when you arched your back, and let out a keen, over what he was doing to you. That needy whine sent shivers straight to his cock, as it bobbed up against his stomach.

It was only when his hands slipped themselves down in between your legs that you moved your hands to grasp his wrist. The combination of the low groan that left his mouth mixed with all the wetness that found itself on your thighs was too much for you.

“I said!” Bakugou growled once more, speaking to you through clenched teeth “Keep your hands out of the way.”

He pried your hands off his wrist and moved them once again, this time to rest at your sides. And though you closed your eyes once more in embarrassment, he kept his eyes trained on your face when pressed his hands moved behind your knees to pull them up and apart – baring your weeping cunt to the fire's light.

“Look at me.”

It was hard for you to follow his request, a whimper escaping your throat to show your unease, but finally opening your eyes when he asked once more, tone soft and gentle, to look back down at him. He was handsome and looked so alluring with his hair all mused and ears pointed in between your legs, as he gently caressed your plush thighs in a comforting manner.

You couldn’t help the gasp that came froth, almost in a shrill manner, when you watched his tongue take a long and heavy stripe up your core; not missing the way his claws now dug into your skin, it was almost painful.

“S-stop! Don’t…” You cried out, hands twitching at your sides, trying their hardest to not push him away “Don’t do that, it – it’s dirty down there!”

Bakugou scoffed at your claim, taking a bite out of your thigh to have you look back at him. Once you do he repeats the action, this time accompanying it with a groan – smirking once more at the flush that was now making it down your neck.

“Not dirty at all.” He shrugged his shoulders before settling into a more comfortable position “How can something that tastes as good as you, be dirty?”

You didn’t have an answer for him. Not that you could really, not when your brain did nothing but short-circuit and turn to mush when you felt his tongue swipe up and down at your glistening folds. Unable to hold back any of the mewls and moans that crept out of your throat; especially when his lips found that special bundle of nerves and began to suckle on it.

Bakugou was taking his time, though it was a little bit agonizing. As much as he wished to go faster, to hear the wonton screams that he knew he could make you sing, he knew that you needed this to be as passionate and tender as it could be. So, whenever you would look back on this night, you would not regret allowing him this.

Not that he truly minded. The sounds of your gasps, your twitching thighs, and your bucking hips made up for it. Especially when he slipped a finger into your warmth and felt you tight walls fluttering around the digit. It was delightful, so much so he couldn’t help but let a growl; the vibrations making your hips jump once more. If you felt this good around his finger, he could only imagine how amazing it would feel having your gummy walls around his cock.

After a few pumps, he added another finger. Pushing through your tight entrance to help properly prepare you for his thick member; not wanting it to hurt once he finally got around to fucking you. The sinful, loud, whines you let out as your back arched when he began to scissor his fingers made his head a little dizzy. So aroused by it all that he couldn’t help himself from rutting his hips, and hard cock, on the rug beneath him.

You had the rug gripped between your fingers, your knuckles going white at how tightly you were holding on, as you felt a bundle start to twine in your gut. One that seemed built out of fire and that twisted almost painfully the more he licked, sucked, and played with your weeping core.

“Come on, sweetness” He nearly begs, his voice going hoarse “I can feel you fluttering around me, just let go. I got you.”

You babbled, though you’re not sure of what, as you listened to his gentle command. Unable to resist, you did as he said, and let go of that tight knot deep within you; allowing it to snap and your body to go rigid. Head moving side to side as you whimpered and wept over the overwhelming sensation.

Though it was only now that you truly understood why so many called this feeling ‘le petite mort’ as you felt a part of your soul had died and found its way to heaven. You couldn’t help but want to feel this feeling over and over again until you yourself passed on. Though it was sinful, you had never felt anything so wondrous.

You whimpered when you felt his fingers slowly leave your tender hole, not wanting the feeling of being full to leave you so soon. And neither did Bakugou. He didn’t want to let up when you finally came, wanting instead to continue – to overstimulate you until you were a blubbering, teary-eyed mess, that was begging him to stop. But he couldn’t help himself. He needed to be in you, right now.

“You ready?” He whispered, bringing his hand up to softly caress your cheek, the tip of his cock twitching against your thigh “Cause we can – can stop if you want.”

“No!” You begged, bringing your own hand up to grasp his; kissing his palm “P-please, I want more.”

Your soft confession made Bakugou moan out, hiding his head in the crook of your neck, as he tried to compose himself once more. He knew what he was doing when he started, corrupting your innocence, however he was not expected to become this turned on – affected – by your turning.

He now needed more, want a distant memory from when he began. He placed the blunt head of his cock at your entrance and slowly pushed in, groaning at the tight heat that welcomed him as he slowly, inch by inch, sheathed himself. The stretch itself was a little painful for you, the more he pushed in, but not in a bad way. It simply just felt strange, as you had never felt a man in you before.

Though the more that kept entering you, the more you would whimper out. You had felt full when his fingers were within you, but this was an entirely different sensation; an entirely different feeling of being full. One that made your eyes shut tightly as your mind could only focus on the slightly pleasant burn of being stretched wide.

Bakugou let out a huff, head dangling above yours; some of his hair tickling your cheeks as he allowed you the time needed to adjust to the new sensation. And himself if he was honest. Your cunt was so tight that, mixed with his earlier actions, made him almost cum then and there once he bottomed out.

“You can move now…” You mumbled, pushing his hair back so you could look into his eyes.

He didn’t say anything back, just simply nodded his head as he adjusted your legs to rest upon his hip. It made you moan softly at the shift, his cock feeling deeper in you. Though that moan turned into a hiss when you moved his hips back slightly, your walls still sore from his intrusion; still burned. But Bakugou was careful with his movements, only moving an inch at a time before moving back fully into you.

It was a slow process, but soon he was able to pull almost all the way out before snapping his hips back into yours, quiet pained whimpers turned themselves into cries of pleasure with each thrust. You couldn’t help but bring your around his shoulder, your nails pressing crescent moons into his back with every slam of his cock into you.

The burn of feeling your nails drag into your skin made Bakugou grip your hips ever tighter. You both knew with the way his nails into your flesh, breaking your flesh and having slight trickles of blood run down your legs, meant that there would be scars; ones that your soon-to-be-husband would soon see. And that made you moan out louder, knowing that there would always be a reminder of this night for years to come.

“You like that, don’t you?” Bakugou asked through labored breath, his pace picking up speed as pulled you down to meet his thrusts; salivating at your bouncing chest “You like when I mark your skin? Like when I use your sloppy cunt, use you like the slut that you are?”

Bakugou laughed darkly when you whined at his words and shook your head no. Though you were denying his claims, your body was telling a very different tale; if the amount of slick that dripped down both your thighs was any indication.

“No?” He mocked, a smug smirk forming on his face as your lidded eyes met his “Then why did I feel you clench at my words, huh? Like – ah – like that sweetness? You like when I’m mean to you, don’t you? I told you, you would love how I would sound.”

All you could was keen, brain turning hazy at the sensations he was overloading you with. He was leading you back to that cliff, and you wanted nothing more than to fall over it once again as you brought your legs to lock around his back as you babbled out strings of pleas for him to keep going.

 “Yeah, you’re gonna cum again? I can feel it, sweetness, your walls milking my cock.” Bakugou grunted when he felt one of your hands tug the hair at the base of his neck “Come on then, cum. Cum all over my fat cock, milk it – come on!”

He took your hand away from his hair, clasping it into his as he lowered his body onto yours; entwining your fingers together as he continued to say filthy words to help bring you over that edge. When you felt his pelvis rub so deliciously over your clit you couldn’t help but be sent over the edge; pulling him even closer as your body shook at the powerful release.

Bakugou groaned, quickly following suit when he felt your walls clamp down on him. Unable to stop himself from painting your insides white, with rope after rope of his seed, as he bit another mark onto your neck.

You let the moments pass, let it go by serenely as you basked in each other’s afterglow. Not wanting to leave one another so quickly after such an event. You wanted to hold him close as your heart slowly started to beat at a normal rate, and Bakugou wanted to do the same.

Though, once his cock had softened, he felt it was time to get you both cleaned up. And with a soft hiss as he left your warmth, he slowly lifted himself from your warm embrace; suddenly feeling cold even with the fire next to him.

“Be right back.” He mumbled as he got to his feet, not bothering to hide his body like you were as he walked to where his washing room was.

You took this moment to sit up, wincing at the soreness that now encompassed your lower half, as you searched for your shift; wanting to cover yourself, if only slightly. That’s when you found your small leather pouch, the one that contained all the valuables you thought to take with you.

Around the drawstring of the bag, helping to keep the thing closed, was your family heirloom. A giant sapphire broach that was surrounded by silver in an intricate design; a pattern that was designated to your family only. It was invaluable. And you thought that if Bakugou was kind enough to leave you a memento, you should do the same.

You clutched the item to your chest when you heard him step back into the room, washcloth in hand. You continued to hold it close to you, hiding it away, as he tenderly cleaned between your legs and the now dried blood at your hips. A kind gesture that made you relax once more into his touch.

He crawled up your body once more to place a soft kiss on your lips as his arms wrapped securely around you. You yelped when he picked you up, head spinning from suddenly being off the ground. He chuckled at your reaction, it only increased when you scolded him.

He led you to his bed and allowed you to get yourself comfortable before joining you. His heart thumping in his chest, and his tail annoyingly wagging, when you moved yourself to snuggle into his side. Your hands softly wandered over the muscles on his chest, as you gazed up at him once more; a small smile formed on your face.

“Here,” You whispered, holding your trinket out to him, waiting for him to take it. You relished in the soft, gingerly, touch he gave your hand before grabbing hold of your treasure.

“What is this?” He asked, voice still dark and raspy as he inspected it further in the moonlight.

“My family broach. It’s invaluable, probably worth a lot of money.” You explained, rubbing small circles with your fingertips on the skin of his collar bone “It was what you wanted to take when you first saw me. And though you can’t steal me away, you can steal this. As something to remember me by.”

You meant it as a joke, light humor to help ease yourself into more mirthful humor rather than one of sadness over what was to transpire once you woke. You snuggled yourself deeper into the blankets, into his embrace as you placed your head on his chest. The lull of slumber began to swiftly overtake you.

Bakugou couldn’t follow suit though. Couldn’t stop his mind from racing as he looked at the broach. The more he thought about it, as he now looked down on your slumbering face, how sweet and perfect you looked under the moonlight rays, the more he realized that he wanted to keep you. So maybe, just maybe, he would steal you away from them after all.

[ganondoodle]

totk rewritten (for me, specifically)

since i dont have time to get to drawing it right away AND im worried people might take this the wrong way, i thought i could write out some bullet points about my rewrite of totk (meant as a fix FOR ME not saying its inherently better) to give you a better idea on what im going for:

the core structure largely remains the same, the biggest change is no time travel, thus making zelda your travel companion, and zonau tech being lagerly gone/broken with shiekah tech instead

it is not shown but said in dialog that shiekah tech, such as the ancient furnaces, shrines and towers are either turning off or have flickering power supply and purah having calculated that all their connections point towards beneath hyrule castle

game starts pretty much the same as real totk, most zonau ruins are so withered away that they are barely recognizable and the further you get down theres more and more shiekah tech pipes and occasional a miasma vein, some pipes are broken and spill miasma, others flicker

instead of the room with the wall carvings theres one with old ancient shiekah research remains, old broken tech and prototypes you dont what their purpose was, all documents are too withered to read but zelda finds one that was sealed in a container and takes it with her (she got a backpack now)

theres a structure similar to the bed thingy of the shrine of life from botw but its working in reverse; within it is sealed ganondorf (i gotta work out the details around it still)

(details still missing) it breaks and zelda takes the enigma stone but doesnt touch it directly and puts it within a sealed container (you know kinda like you should do with soemthing you have no idea of what it is and was alsO LOCATED ON A CORPSE)

ganondorf isnt the elegantly talking villain type in this version but more of a mess, talking in different languages both modern and ancient but you cant make out any clear sentences, struggeling with suddendly being awake and half alive after spending thousands of years in an agonizing limbo, having witnessed every second of the passage of time yet also it feeling like everything just happened all at the same time

the ground breaks as he recognizes zelda (bc of her fighting calamity ganon in botw) but also not really, still sees her as a threat (also bc of the enigma stone in the container she still has in her hand) attacks her, link deflects with the master sword, it breaks and damages his arm, zelda drops her torch and pulls link away towards where they came in from and both run as the caves fill up with miasma like a flood with arms starting to reach after them while they both run back through the tunnels (creepy chase sequence anyone?)

cataclysm happens (ground breaks, miasma bursts out of the ground, especially where shrines and towers where since they were still connected to the pipelines) ground shifts massively in some places giving alot of the map a whole new structure; all shiekah tech that was not independent stops working due to power loss

links arm is amputated since otherwise the miasma would spread to his whole body; purah, robbie and zelda work out a prosthetic arm prototype to give to link (protoype at first will be upgraded at halfway point of the game) that can switch between multiple modes, like a hand to hold normal items or a weapon that isnt crafted, and a fusing ability (though maybe limited in the prototype) that lets you make weapons similar to the weapon fusing in canon totk (potential upgrades including an extendable guardian arm that doesnt break, grapple hook anyone??, also the ability to build stuff out of shiekah tech parts, not glue needed you actually screw it together, maybe zelda even helps)

now you are given free roam of hyrule, the goal is to explore and find what has changed and check on people, see what the underground has, new monsters have spawned etc.

zelda is your companion the whole time, she can use the shiekah stone/purah pad to analyze enemies for you, she also carries at least a dagger for her own self defense but doesnt contribute much to the fight (subject to change maybe), you can talk to her anytime and she usually has something to comment on depending on where you are or what you just did, can give you tips and advice IF ASKED FOR IT, when you discover ancient ruins, whether zonau or shiekah, she can either decipher it for you or take photos for later to find out more about everything that has happend and what it means, she also takes part in conversations when you talk to someone, her outfit changes with yours (meaning when you wear the tingle set she wears it too, opens up alot of funny interactions njfkdk)

purah has built new towers but they function different (still working on the details) mainly that they function independent from the energy source in hyrule castle

there are floating islands but they are bigger and in more connected clusters, when reaching them its ancient withered ruins that the ancient shiekah built support around (like the platform used by monk miz kyoshia) to keep them afloat; there are building like observatories and research labs, but all very overgrown due to being up there for so long, theres a titan prototype on one of the islands, its shaped like a whale and zelda deciphers it was called vah narisha (reference to the whale deity in skyward sword) (i havent decided yet if its fully broken and just a big piece of enviroment to explore or half functioning floating around, or maybe first broken but later half repaired so it can fly around at least giving you an easier way to reach other island, you cant steer it tho) some of them are falling bc of energy loss but the bigger ones have independent energy sources (work in progress)

the underground has more diverse zones depending on which part of the map it is located on, there are old mines (for luminous stone) from the zonau but all is extremely withered, in each one its been mostly built over by the shiekah but there are construct remains that were clearly dissected and studied, half built shrines and towers, you can find collectibles and lore there (working on more details, but an idea was to include remains of ancient shiekah tha fled there when they were persecuted by that old king of hyrule, adding to the eery vibe)

some titans (maybe two, and the other are still on the sruface, like vah medoh) feel down during the cataclysm, broken apart or malfunctioning/ possibly being a boss as in they were used by a big cluster of miasma hands like a hermit crab uses its shell, the inside filled with eyes and different sized hands dragging itself towards you like a drowing man grabs after anything to save him)

dongos are your go to transportation here and a little different, when you call one they dig a path to you (not permanent, just so they can always spawn near you) they glow in the dark and can climb on walls (bc why not), and can point you towards the next objective/point of interest, likely where theres a high concentration of luminous stone since that is what they eat and its usually where old mining/construction sites are (still working on a replacement for light roots that are less invasive)

the rat from the trailer is a miniboss/boss you need to defeat in order to get the broken mastersword back into your possession

(im still working on how the sages work, but the idea is to incorporate their abilites for more efficient and reliable use into links shiekah prosthetic, so you can still use their abilities but only when you actually want)

(again still working on details) halfway point of the game is you trying to find out where ganondorf went, not intending to fight necessarily but just to find out more but it devolves into you fighting some sort of miasma monster (either him or some sort of manifestation he made) and you get a bunch of short memory flashes from him, all vague and a wild mess from both the time he was sealed and from the time afterwards, maybe even a perspective shift from when link was fighting dark beast ganon, but from ganons view, from zelda when she was keeping that manifestation in check, random views from the malice eyes from botw, from the blights, maybe even from the fight with the old and new champions, from the point when shiekah built their tech around him while he had to watch not able to do anything etc.)

links arm gets upgraded from prototype to a full prosthetic, opening up more fusing abilites and other things (like the grapple hook, again working on it, im open for ideas lol)

i will reblog this and add more over time if you want, but do let me know if you like it thus far, bc im still unsure if its worth the effort of working more on this QnQ

(also if you dont like just keep scrolling, i dont need to know that you hate it, it literally changes nothing but make me annoyed xD)

[kettle-flakes]

k so slay the princess is rotting my brain but currently one big thought is chilling in my brain, and like- hear me out (sorry if my wording doesn't convey my thoughts well skskfjdjg)

but I don't think the damsel is entirely as shallow as some may see her as. HEAR ME OUT- compared to the other princesses, yes, she definitely more shallow. and she is also (at least when looking at deconstructed) poking fun at those trying to have an easy and work free romance route where the princess does whatever you like and loves you so, so much. i'm not saying she's supremely deep and that no one understands her but me, but I also don't think she exists solely to mock players with absolutely nothing to say about the nature of human permanence either.

does that make sense? more thoughts below- they're a bit disjointed though so warning ^^;

I personally think the damsel can also represent a very real form love, so to speak.

gimme a min to explain. I think what initially led me to this is a line from the narrator equating the smitten and the damsel to acting like teenagers in love. and that line sorta shifted my perspective a bit on her a little? seeing that kinda made me go "ohhhhhhh makes sense" like it really did remind me of two kids who don't entirely get what dating entails but still want to be together, and given the endgame sequence the damsel's section just kinda cemented this mindset for me.

for clarification the damsel has two(?) bits of dialog depending on whether she's deconstructed or not. If she isn't she says something along the lines of (iirc) "you had a desire and you set that desire free/not caring about what it took or costed you in the process" annnd?? like that's kinda wholesome to me?

like the damsel's love with the player isn't nearly as in depth, complicated, or complete as say the thorn, but it's a passionate love. it's also a naive love. the sort of love you'd find with, well, teenagers having a crush. of course when people get older they see those old crushes as frivolous and flat, but to the people experiencing them in the moment, it's real! it's serious! they were still willing to risk a lot just to be together. and at least at the start, you're willing to be killed by the princess if it means she's safe after having a battle of control against the narrator. it just reads as very human to me. they truly felt that their love could conquer anything.

I feel the thorn is a more 'adult' version of the damsel. it's that passionate love taking on a more mature form. it has more hardships to go through and way more pitfalls and mistakes that one can make compared to the more childish love like the damsel's. there's less theatrics and fanfare, and to me it feels more somber and quiet. it's a contrast between the high stakes emotion filled damsel, and the more intimate, tense, and self-aware thorn. ultimately in the end for both of them, they come to a realization that love is a powerful tool almost in a way that mirror each other.

some of the same occurrences leading up to the route are also shared between the two. like having the princess stab you in the prior route. I also think it's worth noting that in the thorn, the thistles can be seen as/can be referred to a prison of her own making. something she can leave if she was willing to make the effort to do so. it's similar to the damsel's shackles being easily slipped off her wrist. she could free herself.

also by extension, say what you will about the smitten but he loves the princess no matter what form she takes. even when she kills him he still adores her. he is content with being cooked alive by the princess if that's what she wants. i think he's a lot like the damsel in that sense. whatever she wants, she will have. if the damsel is molded to love the player, the smitten is absolutely molded to love the princess in the same way.

[bananasfosterparent]

The difference in AA is his soul being irreversibly gone. That is the point and this is what Larians writers have been hinting at and this is what irks people about AA. The oversexualisation and erasure of his trauma, effectively erasing him as a person. I know we're talking about a fictional character, but if we're gonna go off on the topic, saying something "doesn't matter" is just a cop-out. Astarion didn't need to be "fixed" to the point of emotional lobotomy.

I don't think it's wrong to like or prefer him, but I think it's valid to have opinion on the matter, much like you have yours.

I started to apologize for the length of this, but honestly, since you sent the message, I'm going to respond to every part of it. I'm not sorry for the rambling lol

"The difference in AA is his soul being irreversibly gone."

Okay, show me the quote/scene/dialog in-game where this canonly is said and confirmed? Where does it say the ritual will ever touch his soul or any part of the game talks about his literal soul?

And if by soul you mean the "lose who you are inside" as a metaphor, that's still a matter of opinion and not actually canonly what happens. Astarion is still himself. The "changes" in his personality are shifts to simply adjust to the company he is around. He's essentially code switching.

That is the point and this is what Larians writers have been hinting at and this is what irks people about AA.

Got it. So the point of Astarion's romance is for Larian to write a singular story that has one ending you're "supposed" to enjoy with a "morally good" conclusion, and one ending that's fun and sexy, but "supposed" to be a cautionary warning of how things "shouldn't go". Because that makes sense for a "choose your own adventure" game and that's why the romance stops with AA as soon as you ascend him, and he enslaves and compels your character and you can't continue the romance with him--OH WAIT.

The oversexualisation and erasure of his trauma, effectively erasing him as a person

"The oversexualization".... So you know my Tav's personal motivations and why she chose to ascend him? And you're confident you know I made the roleplay decisions I made because you know it centers entirely and solely around it being to sexualize him?

Interesting.

Because that couldn't be further from the truth. My Tav has an entire story for why she chose to ascend him and it has nothing to do with how sexy it makes him. And it was a story I came up with well before I knew about any of this "sexualization" concept. And as a player, I didn't ascend him because I wanted a sexy vampire. I went into his romance blind and had no idea what would happen when I did it. I ascended him because it narratively made sense for my character and their relationship. But even then, if I wanted a sexy vampire, why is that a bad thing? He's not real.

And I find it so ironic that a lot of spawn fans who are anti-AA only enjoy AA for the sexual parts of that ending. Yet, we're the ones "oversexualizing" him lol

As for "erasure of his trauma"... where do I even start? What does that even mean? lol I'm not gonna lie. You sound young or unaware, but believe it or not, in real life there is more than one way to deal with trauma. And dealing with it in a way you don't agree with doesn't erase the trauma or mean the person is pretending it never happened. Ascended Astarion very much addresses his trauma and exercises a different form of healing.

In a fantasy world, you can actually explore those other options and have the outcome work FOR you, even if it wouldn't in real life. Accepting your fate and trying to align yourself with "morally good" choices is certainly not a bad thing and one way to go. In real life, that's what I agree with, as a Christian and believer in Christ. But Faerun doesn't have a Jesus. They don't have the same real world ideas of morals. They have their own gods, their own history, their own moral perspective outside of our world. Bringing in (your perspective of) our real world morals is a valid way to roleplay, but it's not the "only correct" way to roleplay.

There is the route of overthrowing what was meant to control and destroy you, and taking control of it yourself. Taking what was meant to be against you and making it work for you instead. For me, that's what Astarion's ascension means.

A smaller example of this is if you give Astarion Gandrel's crossbrow to use.

This weapon was designed to work against vampire spawn. It allows for its user to possibly inflict Turn Undead on enemies and gives them advantage in a fight against monster types. And yet, Astarion can wield it and use it effectively. He can take what was created to hurt and destroy him and use it to work for him.

Ascension can be the exact same thing. It's not a matter of which opinion of ascension is morally right. It's a matter of which decision on ascension is right for your Tav and their story with Astarion.

...saying something "doesn't matter" is just a cop-out.

Can you show me where I said "something" "doesn't matter"? Cause it wasn't in any of my recent posts. Are you referring to one of my older ones?

Not only do I not know what part of what post you're referring to, BUT I also don't know what I was talking about, if I even said "something" doesn't matter. I don't know what that "something" is.

Astarion didn't need to be "fixed" to the point of emotional lobotomy.

I'm glad we agree on something. I've seen people claim ascension is "fixing" him (because it eliminates the negative traits of vampirism) and therefore it's weird to call anti-AA spawn fans "fixers". But the difference is trying to change(fix) his morals and view of the world to reflect a "good" worldview (the spawn ending) VS trying to change (fix) his circumstances and lack of control (helping his ascend).

AA fans do not want to change his personality or his mental/emotional state. We want to change his circumstances so that he has a place to be able to make those decisions on his own. And for most of us, Ascension provides that perspective.

Spawn fans want the same thing. But the approach is more to convince him from the inside out that he can make those decisions without ascension. And that's also true. But not more valid or the only way.

But his personality does not change in either ending. In one (spawn ending), he is able to find freedom in just being free of Cazedor and exist the way he always has with a newfound confidence and peace.

In another, he is able to find freedom in taking the helm himself, and holding all the cards to be the one on top. He finds confidence in having the power and being able to wield it, without fear of anything he's had to fear with the negatives of vampirism.

But in both, he is still the same person. He still gets joy out of the same things (killing people, having/causing/observing bloodshed, and causing some chaos), he still has the same personality. The difference is in his circumstances and how he presents himself.

I don't think it's wrong to like or prefer him, but I think it's valid to have opinion on the matter, much like you have yours.

You don't mean that. Because if you did, you wouldn't have a reason to send this anon message in the first place. You wouldn't care enough. It wouldn't matter. You wouldn't have this opinion. You would be able to see value in both endings and respect the positive perspective of ascension even if you don't understand it, without arguing headcanon points like "his soul is irreversibly gone".

Your entire message is literally you trying to tell me it's wrong to like him and that the opinion I have of him is invalid and wrong. I already respect your opinion on both sides of him. Because it's your right to how you roleplay and see him. If you respect mine, you're doing a really awful job at showing it.

Regardless, if that is your intention or not. That's what sending this message says. If you really want to say you respect AA fans for enjoying AA, then stop sending AA fans messages like this and either completely avoid AA and the fans or refrain from trying to argue against it. We can discuss it and not agree while also respecting each other's roleplay choices.

This is not a wrong vs right conversation. It's a "what's your preference?" conversation. Spawn vs Ascended should be like "what's your favorite Pokemon type?"

The sooner that is realized, the better off this fandom will be.

[qwuilty]

One Nine Hundred (Postal 1 Fanfic)

Hiii guess who has more time to fic write :3c My spring semester is coming to a close so i have less time caught up in homework and decided to get back into writing a little!

It's a postal 1 fic cause of course. It's based on the easter egg of going up to the payphones and hearing women moan.

Warning that it does start sexually, nothing actually NSFW progresses besides some initiation, but it cuts off from there. No ships included, unnamed narrator character, mostly just focused on writing P1 dialog and all. And of course, canon typical descriptions of violence, fic below the cut! ^^

Another long night.

The woman checked her makeup in the bathroom mirror again, sure her clients never saw her, but it felt like she still needed to dress up a little for the occasion. Working at these kinds of call girl gigs wasn’t exactly her favorite thing in the world, but she could manage the ones calling and it paid her bills, plus it was kind of nice working from home even if they had to supply her the phone to use. Something about making sure she wasn’t dicking around and calling friends on their hours.

At the ring of her receiver she quickly left the small bathroom, closing the door behind her on instinct as she made her way to the bed. Taking a short, deep breath, she quickly answered. “Welcome to Angel’s Kiss hotline, how’re you doing honey?” Her voice naturally fell to a sweeter tone, something to keep them feeling comfortable and sell the fantasy a little.

“Hah.. Feeling a little down. Wife’s been driving me up the wall, practically had to sneak out to get away from the bitch.” Oh great, a married guy. Course, it wasn’t surprising, she’d gotten calls from them before, it was all business to her, but they always had such a complex about it. “Mhm.. I bet, must be hard living with someone like that, you must get real lonely at night..” Of course, nothing wrong with playing into that a little, gave her extra material to work with. The sound of commotion in the back and his whispering tone told her the guy probably ran off to some payphone looking to get his rocks off for a bit.

He continued on, complaining about his wife to her in a whispering tone as she just let him go on and on for a while. Her eyes idly glanced around her bedroom, wondering if she needed to clean some of that laundry in the hamper, shifting a little on the soft sheets before he allowed her a moment to speak. “Poor thing. Don’t worry about her tonight sugar, you can trust me to take good, good care of you.”

Appealing to the fantasy was always more her strong suit, taking the bits the callers left her and running from there.  “Tell me, what’re you wearing, handsome?” More just a formality, but he was eager to describe and play along, giving her some time to think it over and get her details consistent. “Wh- What about you, gorgeous?” Shit, he was done already. “Ah, I'm wearing a nice, pink nightgown. Soft, satin. Maybe a little something extra, but you’re going to have to find that out yourself.” A little giggle and he was already hooked.

“Oh hoh.. I’d love to find out, you-” The sound of his voice was cut off by the sound of something loud, like an explosion that even she could hear ringing in her ears. The man’s voice became panicked, swearing as the phone fell down, the sounds of gunshots, screaming, all permeating in the air through the phone as she could hardly bring herself to breathe, let alone hang up.

She huddled up on the bed, hunching into her legs in a sort of fetal position. Soon the commotion died down, only the sounds of footsteps and some horrific, terrible gurgling in the distance. “Sir…?” Her voice quivered, trying to choke out whatever words she could. “Sir, are you okay? Is everything okay there?” A spine chilling silence filled the room until a voice responded. “Hello?”

This wasn’t her client.

His breathing was laborious, sounding like he had just run a marathon, if there wasn’t such a physical barrier between the two it’d feel like he was breathing down her neck. “Hi… Do- Is everything okay?” She stammered, holding onto the phone cord so tight she felt like she’d break it in two. “...No. It’s not okay. Where are you?” Her heart skipped a beat, she wasn’t going to let this fucking creep know where she was! “...I’m sorry, I- I can’t tell you that, that’s against policy.” She swallowed, closing her eyes roughly and hoping to god that’d get him to drop it.

“Are you at least outside of Paradise, Arizona?” Her eyes opened, looking besides herself. “Yeah… Yeah I'm far away from there.” He let out a sigh of relief, that seemed to satiate him. Truthfully she wasn’t that far, but hell if she was going to let him know that. “Thank god. Look, I'm going to be honest with you, please… PLEASE hear me out.” His voice was soft, trying to make sure she could understand his words, but he was clearly upset and the sound of car alarms going off in the background didn’t help him sound any more calming. “There’s something going on here. It’s not- It’s not SAFE.”

She let him continue, fearing the worst if she interrupted. Getting on this guy’s nerves didn’t seem like a very good idea. “There’s some kind of disease, this horrible sickness. It’s makin’ everyone here crazy, they’re like- It’s like watchin’ fucking wild animals, circling around waiting to tear into each-other.” His voice got faster, gripping the payphone roughly. “Listen. Listen. You’ve gotta- It’s- Warn the others. I don’t know if anyone outside knows about this. It could be some real deep shit. Maybe even governmental scale here. And I don't know if I'm makin’ it out alive.”

Every part of her screamed to hang up, to call the fucking cops and hide in her closet until she knew it was safe. But she just couldn’t. It was as if her very body had tensed up, frozen still. “I need you to tell them. I’m going to save everyone, I'm going to make sure this doesn’t spread any further. I don’t know you, and I'm guessing you don’t know me either. But please.” He almost sounded like he was going to cry at this point, his breathing was hitched. “You gotta help them. It’s- Shit!” She jumped a little, she was nowhere near the danger but she had been so caught up in his words she almost forgot about the situation at hand.

The phone dropped again, voices shouting, something about Arizona State Police, then gunfire. The sounds of several men dying at the hands of whoever the hell had picked up that phone. When it finally ended, all she had left was the dial tone and her room, now feeling a cold sensation around her and a deep sense of fear washing over.

“...Sir?”

“Sir, are you there?”

[dekaydk]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble ep 12

Completely satisfied with this show and definitely expect to watch it again.

Okay, spoilers for the series follow so don't read if you haven't watched the whole thing.

The good

Script, story, characters, acting, comedy, direction, cinematography. Basically everything.

Unclear/didn't understand

I didn't get the bit with the security guard and his accuser. I thought it was setting up another obsession but it just happened, then they went back to it with a repeat of the action. Will rewatch to see if I missed something (was interrupted several times (grumble) so this very well could just be me).

Could've been better

CGI was pretty good in general though the closeup paper bits landing were a little, oh, procedural vs. natural. The big plane crash (the full scene) wasn't quite as convincing as I would have liked but I get that budget isn't infinite and this kind of work is expensive. (Heck, big budget movies often have less convincing CGI than this series.)

Subtitles often were a bit fleeting (the English ones) especially when there was a short line. Dear subtitle team: love your work but please remember that we are switching between watching the action and reading so we have to spend time on both; it's not the same as listening to dialog and watching simultaneously. I had to rewind quite a few times because I wasnn't sure what had been said because I took my eyes off the titles for a moment and missed something.

Things I loved

The writing was terrific. Not one of the obsessions played out like you might have expected. Twists every time!

Every. single. one. of the actors were good. Every one of the minor roles was done well. The actor playing the OLD WOMAN was brilliant, made more effective by a great costume, hair, the smoking (lighting a wet butt was a genius touch). Traffic boulder man was perfectly menacing.

Guang Yan's reaction to being pulled away from Yi Yong by Li Song was devastating and perfect; Cian You nailed it.

The scene where Yi Yong and Bao Sheng are talking in the hospital after Yi Yong wakes up was economically written and acted. Scenes like this are often overloaded with exposition or overdone by the actors/directors. They didn't even say that Ren Xiu had died; the acting did it all. Cheryl Yang seemed effortless in all her parts, whether doing comedy or badassery.

Another example of beautiful spareness in writing and directing was when Yi Yong went to the (graveyard? mausoleum?). We don't know where he's going in the taxi, the taxi driver just gets out (sensitive!) and Yi Yong's sobbing is perhaps all the more heartbreaking because it was shot from outside the taxi.

The first balcony scene with Ren Xiu and Yi Yong was another example of terrific writing. We got introduced to Ren Xiu's character and the real nature of his relationship with his son in such a short time, yet you learned enough to care about him. The second balcony scene was beautifully acted by both men, and the necessary tonal shifts were slow and delicate enough to keep the viewer in the moment.

Loved the ending. Wake up, hear yet another plea for help, roll eyes, roll credits. That said, Yi Yong losing another couple of years to a coma? UNFAIR.

Side notes

Jing Hua actually spent time to learn calligraphy in more depth. I assume (as someone who doesn't read it) that he had to be convincing enough to make Chinese viewers believe in his expertise. Role reversal: in one of the behind the scenes videos, Cian You gives Jing Hua a cartoon of him that he said that he had drawn.

Conclusion: 🎖️ Absolutely recommended. Run, do not walk to your preferred IQIYI access.

Going to re-watch and think about this some more.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Subtext - Part 2

This is a follow-up to my previous post about subtext.

Subtext vs. Text

So, if the potential meaning(s) of subtextual elements is not part of canon, Jinkies, how can you say that Sam and Dean are canonically soulmates when the show never came right out and said that they were?

Great question! The short answer is that there is a difference between subtext and text that shows rather than tells.

Writers are always being told to "show, don't tell." But what the fuck does that actually mean? It means that good storytelling isn't just exposition. Sure, you can explicitly tell your readers/viewers a thing, it happens all the time, but if you want to really draw your audience in and make them suspend disbelief for a time, immerse them in your story, you want to show them things because that makes them feel the things. So instead of saying, "Bob went to the store and bought eggs, milk, and flour," you would instead, perhaps, describe Bob coming back with shopping bags that he unloads, pulling out eggs, milk, and flour, and putting them away in his kitchen. The fact that Bob went to the store and bought these items, while unsaid, isn't subtext. As the writer, you just chose to show your reader the results of an action instead of talking them through the steps of that action.

Likewise, in the episode Dark Side of the Moon (5x16), the writers show us that Sam and Dean share a heaven by having them be able to find each other without breaking out of their individual heavens, a thing that they show and explain to us through Ash as needing to happen to jump from one person's heaven to another's. But Dean just follows the road through his heaven and it leads him to Sam... because they're in different parts of the same heaven. Taking Ash's metaphor of Heaven being like Disneyland a step further, both Sam and Dean were in the Winchesterland heaven portion of Heaven, just on different rides within that portion of the larger park. Then Ash says, while looking pointedly at the two of them, that special cases like soulmates share a heaven. So while the story did not say, "Sam and Dean are soulmates," it gave us the equation, explained all the variables, and just left us to fill in the answer on our own because they had faith in our ability to do the basic math. Turns out that faith wasn't 100% justified, but whatever, not everyone is good at math.

So in this case, Sam and Dean being soulmates is a part of canon even though they never came right out and said those specific words in that order. It is text that is shown not told.

Text, in a written work, is the actual words used, whether those words are describing actions, dialog, or setting a scene. While subtext is the space between and underneath the words where implied additional meanings can be found, if one chooses to go looking for them.

A great and fertile ground for subtextual readings can be found in discussions about Sam and Dean's sexualities. Because while the text only tells and shows us both brothers being heterosexual, there is a lot of subtext that speaks to a lot of people in support of one or both of them being queer in some fashion. Queer readings of either character are valid head canons with lots of support that can be pulled from the subtextual elements of the show. There is room within the story for a lot of subjective readings, even though all the canon tells/shows us is that they are heterosexual cis men.

Now I know a lot of you may screech to a halt here and start objecting that I am putting a subjectively heteronormative read on this. Yeah, I know. Unfortunately, the entire issue with the heteronormative bullshit that we all deal with in the really real world on a daily basis, is that it is the default presumed pov. This is changing (thankfully) but Supernatural was created before that shift really began in the collective consciousness, so the default presumed pov of the show is a heteronormative one. That is how the show was created, the filter through which it was written and acted and presented. And while reading it from a different pov is valid, it is not going to be in line with canon... it would be head canon.

Again, HEAD CANONS ARE VALID even though they aren't canon.

[onyxbird]

These are my thoughts about fan content clarifying what fandom values about a work that I mentioned in a response to @trivalentlinks.

The optimistic side of this post is that I think there is value in fan content forming a record for whoever chooses to look (even if that's only other fans), in the form of thousands of fanfics and fanart and fanposts, that these are the things fandom got out of a source work that made them love it. These are the versions of the characters that fans loved (or hated), whether or not that's quite what the writers/actors/etc. intended. These are the story beats that resonated so well that fans delve into them over and over and over, and these are the ones that flopped and get "fixed" again and again.

However a lot of the stuff below the cut is more pessimism and frustration about the crudeness of the "dialog," such as it is, between fandom and creators, using Leverage/Leverage Redemption as an example. I have no real answers, here.

Mostly, the thing is gets me is that 1) I know viewer numbers and ratings are what drive decision-making in TV/movie production and 2) on the viewer's end, the choice to watch or not watch a show/movie/whatever is such an incredibly crude, binary signal about something that so much factors into.

So taking Leverage as the example, since that's what touched this discussion off, imagine if Leverage Redemption just tanks next season. Lots of people who tuned in when season 1 launched stop watching. The obvious question that a lot of people are going to be asking is why. When Leverage originally aired, it was clearly popular enough to get 5 seasons and to eventually spawn a sequel series, and enough people started watching Redemption to get a second season greenlit, so the question would be what changed?

If you're looking solely at the show end to try to diagnose viewership/ratings trends, there are quite a few changes that could factor into reception, both obvious and subtle, and very limited "signal" from just numeric viewing/ratings data. Some of those changes are (all stuff I recall seeing discussed in fanposts in one form or another, BTW):

They became an Amazon production. They killed off Nate. They added Harry. They added Breanna. They made Sophie the Mastermind. They moved the setting to New Orleans. Hardison was away for most of the season. They gave Eliot a multi-episode love interest for the first time. They shifted the focus more towards the way the powerful can twist the system to their own ends to legally screw people over (linked to Harry's incorporation in the team). They had a more diverse pool of clients for the crew. They went little further over the realism line into the fantastical (e.g., literally talking guards to sleep). They seemed to explicitly refute the OT3 dynamic ("robot bodies" scene). They made a number of smaller, possibly unintended characterization changes to established characters (e.g., various stuff with Parker's portrayal). And, separate from Leverage Redemption itself, a local Portland news outlet put out an article (which doesn't appear to have been picked up by any wider news outlets) about alleged sexual harassment/assault on Electric Entertainment productions, including Leverage.

Lots of changes, both large and small. Some changes I think were excellent. Some were not. Some were non-ideal for the show, but obviously limited by circumstance (e.g., working around Aldis Hodge's availability). With (I hope) the exception of the abuse allegations, I suspect every change on my list has some fans who like it, some who hate it, and some who don't really care.

So… how would you figure out what accounted for a hypothetical drop in ratings/viewers?

In the absence of any direct feedback about what the fans are saying (or expressing through other fandom participation), there would be a lot of guesswork. The show is very centered around the crew, so I would guess the impact of cast changes would be a major objective change to look at. The original crew was well-liked in OG Leverage, so they'd probably assume no problems with returning cast. (Fans perceived some changes to how the OG crew were portrayed, but those are relatively subtle/subjective and likely not deliberate on the show's part.) Harry is a newcomer, but Noah Wyle was a core character in The Librarians, which also got 4 seasons, so I doubt him turning off fans would be the first guess. That leaves removing Tim Hutton (well-established actor, central to previous well-received series, resulted in major restructuring of crew once removed) and adding Aleyse Shannon (who seems to have fairly few previous roles) as major cast changes. (If the "Silence on the Set" article had gotten more press and really blown up, then that might make the list of possible reasons for turning people off, but I have only seen that discussed on Tumblr so far, and it appears to be only the one local article in a location they don't seem to be filming in anymore.)

Now, from what I've seen in the Tumblr fandom (both on my dash and in the main leverage tag), my impression is that people here largely think removing Nate was the right choice (either because of the allegations against Hutton or because Nate's arc had ended or both) and adore Breanna and her casting. But to know that, you have to look at what fans are saying and/or how they're engaging with the fandom rather than just looking at the fact that the new line-up isn't holding viewership. Otherwise, you might conclude, e.g., that getting rid of the (older, white, male) Mastermind and bringing in a young, queer, woman-of-color geek were a mistake for the show's popularity.

In terms of fanfic (the topic of the other post), I've seen people remark before about how little "fix-it fic" there is for Leverage. In terms of the changes in Leverage Redemption, I certainly haven't seen much, if any, fic that brings Nate back. I've seen plenty of fic that's enthusiastic about both Breanna and Harry. I have seen fic "fixing" the OT3 or having Parker do more masterminding or keeping Hardison in closer contact, suggesting that those are things that people genuinely did think were problems with the new setup.

Another obvious takeaway from the Leverage fanfic/fan content in general is that the Leverage fandom loves Eliot, but from the fic and posts I've read, my impression is that the Eliot the fandom loves is one who would never do the kind of shit Christian Kane is accused of. E.g., the fan content often delves more deeply into Eliot's bloody, ex-hitman past than the show ever has, while at the same time "Parker and/or Hardison have to practically sit Eliot down for a Powerpoint presentation to convince him they are romantically/sexually interested in him, too, because otherwise he will never make a move to avoid crossing their boundaries" is practically its own Leverage fic genre.

Now, are the creators/producers/etc. going to come to Tumblr and AO3 to figure out why their show is or is not doing well? Likely not, especially not AO3. (In this specific case, perhaps more likely than for other shows, since I think at least one of the creators has explicitly mentioned writing fanfic themselves.) But I do think there is value in the fandom talking about what they do like, what was done well, in addition to the things that make them walk away from watching further, even if the only people listening are other fans.

Leverage/Leverage Redemption isn't the only place where I have this frustration, BTW. I had a lot of fun with the MCU, before Infinity War/Endgame killed a lot of my enjoyment. And then, of course, they start rolling out a lot stuff following more diverse heroes, etc., whether that's highlighting already-established side characters (Sam Wilson, Black Widow), stuff that I'd never heard of before (e.g., Moon Knight; Shang Chi), and stuff that I had heard of and wanted to do well (e.g., Ms. Marvel, one of my cousin's favorite comics). And I just want to shake the people in charge and say "Why didn't you feature these characters before you soured me on the franchise as a whole? I didn't stop wanting to watch because you shifted away from white male superheroes. Now, if ratings go down, you're probably going to say people just don't want to watch [POC/Muslim/mentally ill/etc.] main characters, and that's not it at all."

I'm not really arguing that the fandom version of the show is actually going to get back to the creators/people deciding show funding/etc. and influence their decision-making or have a tangible impact on the way mainstream media operates, outside of (perhaps) explicit reviews of the work. I'm not arguing that people should continue to make fanworks for this reason, or should continue supporting shows just to avoid creators drawing the wrong conclusions. I'm just saying I find it comforting that there is a record out there, in all the fan content, of what it was about these works that spoke to people. And of what, in the show universe, put them off enough to warrant discussion or fix-its. I just think it matters.

[entropy-game-dev]

Alpha testing, v0.12-v0.14

So, it's been a busy period, both in real life and for the game. Game stuff first though! M was back testing a few consecutive versions of the game. Some of the highlights for each version:

v0.12 - Looking beyond the code

M had suggested a new room/corridor algorithm to reflect the final design of the dungeon, rather than how it was constructed. During construction, some corridors can be widened, and some rooms can have space taken from them, and so an algorithm was developed that looks for a certain number of adjacent squares (like a 2x2 seed) that fills space and is stopped by a 1 tile wide corridor.

However, the initial algorithm was overzealous in its conversion and also converted the map edge to ground that could be walked on. Oops! So when M stepped onto to one of these spaces, and was looking over into a tile with x or y coordinates of -1, the game would indeed crash.

The other type of "illegal" looking happened due to my implementation of the turn speed option. During battle, you'd turn too fast and (because of my hacky implementation), the enemies wouldn't spawn, and so you'd enter a soft lock sort-of battle mode limbo. Again, all fixed, it now accounts for turn speed!

v0.13 - Tamed doors

Probably the best feature I added in this version was the ability to interact with doors and stairs simply by walking into them. It was a small change but one that was appreciated.

Apart from that, M had a suspiciously bad run of luck previously when trying to extract lore/logs from computers within the dungeon. When I looked into it, I was testing multiple log parts and forgot to get rid of a debug value that stopped the player from collecting the first part of the log. If the first part wasn't obtained, the later parts couldn't be obtained too!

However, in this version, I once again forgot to reset the extraction rate for the log - I wanted to make sure everything was working so I set the rate temporarily to 100%. So M went from being too unlucky to being too lucky...

v0.14 - The sound of music

I had M fiddle around with the volume settings on the options in the title screen (without telling him why), and we spent some time in the options menu. Here's some paraphrased dialog:

Him: Oh, the music cut out and reset just now

Me: Yes, my composer hasn't completed the song so it's just here as placeholder

Him: Right, I don't think I've heard it cut out before because I've never spent so long here on the title screen

Me: Actually, it's because this is the first version of the game to include music!

My composer friend (P, from now on) had asked me to put in some music in order for him to get an idea of the types of songs I want, and how they sounded in context. P said just use whatever was the most fitting, and he had written samples of songs previously for me, which are amazing, so of course I added them in. Along with some examples of other music I thought was fitting.

I said it to P, and he said it back to me during his test (v0.15, blog coming soon), but wow, the music really makes the game come together.

There's 3 lots of patchnotes below the cut, so brace yourselves...

v0.14 Features: Press forward to interact with stairs/doors automatically! Advantage Burst status effects now actually have effects! Implemented slider for lingering screen glitch effect length! Relativistic navigator mouse controls! Added recruitment % display to enemies Added options button to delete tutorial progress Full screen tutorials implemented! ADDED MUSIC!!!! Added master volume slider Added move speed option Shift+click is debug travel to dungeon/system

Balance: Buffed recruitment rate slightly

Polish: When stepped on, features don't display a message if they don't successfully affect you Matrix slot text no longer spilling out of the box Made navigator icons blink when appropriate Nav icons stop blinking when moused over Rel nav messages now appear HP display on enemies now rolls to the right value Added send log to bug reporting text Added mouse2 clicks to cancel report forms and rel nav interface First time scan displays enemy description in log Made options no longer need to be deleted when adding new option into the game Made logger not log empty text variables Added divider to tutorials Added interface initializing text to stop text bug Fixed misaligned … in scrolling textbox Added music rights text

Bugs: Removed fuel gain requirement from projects to be able to access tier 1 capstone Re-enabled lore collection Fixed some attack and defense stats of items in database being mixed up Fixed empty form textbox crash Fixed strange battle array crash related to fixing the coordinates when the unit moves before the attack applies

v0.13 Features: Do a 180 with shift + turn!

Balance: Slightly lowered enemy spawns Stuns and summons have 2 cooldown Buffed some AoEs Made advantage bursts inflict double bad/good status effects

Polish: Made research results more visible Made research help screen clearer Moving your mouse away from the dungeon icon on the navigation screen now cancels it Changed swim swarm center square Renamed Energy Differential -> Energy Drain for clarity Increased tutorial text scroll rate Text speed textbox and window speed window in options menu is deleted immediately when closing

Bugs: Fixed debug options deletion flag also deleting save files Stopped showing default "ITEM" attack when no equips Stopped battle softlocks when fast turning Disassemble tutorial now fires correctly Exploration help overlay message displaying the proper text after game load Fixed room conversion code converting the dungeon boundary to floors Fixed some features from showing up as the unexplored scanner fx

v0.12 Features: Added more stairs up sprites (a vertically mirrored hole and pad) for clarity Added text logging! Added option to speed up turn speed

Balance: Changed sensory overload affinity to particle for Astronaut Buffed Assistant's sensory stun affinity to overload Increased data costs of first 2 projects Slightly tweaked encounters to make bigger enemies spawn more frequently Made status effects apply with a chance based on the weak/resist of the unit Added flags that stop certain moves from missing

Polish: Standardised being able to exit out of some base facilities instantly vs not Made the back to base noise only occur when the screen is fading to black and not when it's waiting for text to finish outputting Fixed being able to click to select an attack in the attack menu to avoid double clicking accidentally Made attack power numbers on the routine information panel have 2 decimal places Changed tutorial text from "suit's option menu" to "option menu" Changed other effect intensity to screen glitch intensity Text on research in progress screen now includes tip about data collection Research arrows now flicker Made some unimportant tutorials only happen when the major game state gets changed Added SE descrption to mouse tooltip Made research left/right icons blink Secondary affinity animations now appear above the status panels Updated some menus and icons (battle, storage, party) Now show targeting background on selection of non routine moves

Bugs: Fixed frame perfect cancel inputs on base facilities softlocking the game Fixed research tutorial for dismantling not showing under the right circumstances Fixed power load tutorial not working Fixed last tutorial and crafting availability entry being duplicated in the respective save grids Fixed objects close to the ground tute triggering for the spawner object Fixed enemy description showing when using mouse controls to choose the attack target Stopped mouse controls from choosing a disallowed row as specified by the upperlock parameter in the routines database Fixed defending status effect not upping negative resistances Standardised the way the e_battle.target state generates move targeting parameters Fixed objects not appearing when going throgh doors Defending now decreases incoming damage instead of increasing it Stopped mouse stat panel from staying when exiting battle Mouseover routine information panel now closes properly when viewing a part without any moves Fixed item filtering in storage window not working on mouseclick

[kitkatt0430]

🗑

🗑 Deleted Scenes

So in my not-yet-posted Arrow S1 rewrite, I had a scene planned where Tommy finds Oliver having a nightmare, similar to the scene with Moira and Walter in canon, but that scene no longer really works since I rearranged the order a few things happen. I'll be reusing some of the dialog from this, however, and Tommy will still be walking in on the post-nightmare awkwardness of the canon scene instead of getting Ollie all to himself.

Tommy also had a nightmare here, but it's being pushed waaaay further down in the story. In the original version of the scene, however, it's Tommy's nightmare that sends him to go check in on Oliver.

(Full scene beneath the cut)

Tommy shivered and got out of bed. He pulled on his robe and slid his feet into his slippers, and quietly walked out into the hallway. A few moments later, he was peering into Oliver's room. He just needed to check on Ollie. See that he was okay and…

Oliver was not in his bed.

For a moment, the world seemed to flip upside down and Tommy had a terrible fear that everything since Oliver coming home hadn't been real. He couldn't breathe as that thought slowly crushed him…

But the bed was unmade, and Tommy sucked in a sharp breath.

Someone – Oliver – was laying on the ground, curled up underneath a blanket with a pillow tucked beneath his head. The dim light from the window cast odd shadows across Oliver's face as he shifted uncomfortably in his sleep.

It took Tommy a moment to recognize that Oliver was having a nightmare of his own.

“Oliver?”

The sleeping man mumbled something, shifting again but not actually waking. Tommy was fairly certain that whatever Oliver had said hadn't been in English. Seriously… when had Oliver learned any foreign languages? Not in college, that was for sure. In high school they'd both taken, and barely passed, Spanish. But now Oliver could speak Russian and… mutter Mandarin in his sleep?

What the hell happened on that island?

Whatever it was, Oliver was pretty clearly unready to answer questions about any of it, despite how obviously he was haunted by those five years. For now, Tommy was willing to wait for his answers.

Waiting, however, did not extend to leaving Oliver stuck in a nightmare.

“Oliver?!” Tommy tried again, louder. The other man stirred again, but stayed firmly asleep.

Walking closer, but still trying to keep a safe distance for when Oliver did wake, Tommy tried again. “Oliver, you're having a nightmare. You need to wake up, okay?” He waited a moment, for any response, then kept talking. “I know that, in your head, you're somewhere unsafe. But none of that is real, okay? You're home. You're in your room at Queen mansion and you're safe here. Thea's down the hall, probably dreaming about her latest celebrity crush, Moira and Walter are presumably asleep in their room… and if they aren't then I'm sure neither of us want to know why not. I'm here since no one wanted me to drive home with a potential concussion and I'm in this room because you're my friend and I'm worried about you. So, wake up Oliver.”

There was a long moment of silence, and then Oliver was awake. He blinked owlishly at Tommy and sat up slowly.

“Something wrong, Tommy?” Oliver asked, voice slurring slightly with sleep.

“You were having a nightmare,” Tommy told him. “Thought it would be better if I woke you from a distance. Didn't want you reacting to someone unknown crouching over you as you woke up.”

“Good call,” Oliver told him. “Mom tried waking me yesterday morning and… I was disoriented, didn't know where I was...” he looked away. “I could have hurt her.”

“But you didn't. I bet she was a little shaken, but glad you're here now and not in a place where reflexes like that are necessary.” Tommy offered Oliver a smile. “What's your opinion on sleeping bags?”

“What?”

“Well, we used to use them when we went camping…”

“I remember what sleeping bags are, Tommy,” Oliver grumbled, coming fully awake and crossing his arms.

“Then why aren't you using one?” Tommy asked, fully serious. “I get why you're not in the bed. But if you're planning on ever sleeping in one again, you have to start somewhere. A sleeping bag seems like as good a place as any to start readjusting to sleeping comfortably.”

“Oh.” Oliver shrugged half-heartedly. “I hadn't really thought about it, I guess. I… was more concerned with no one noticing.”

“I think only Thea doesn't realize you'd have problems sleeping on a mattress,” Tommy responded dryly. “Somehow, I don't think she'll care.”

“I just… don't want everyone to keep walking on eggshells around me.” Oliver shrugged. “I know you all had to move on with your lives without me. I appreciate the way everybody seems to be dropping everything to spend time with me now, but… I have to find out where I fit in eventually. I don't want everyone to be too busy pitying me for how I've changed to accept who I am now.”

“I'm an unemployed brat of a billionaire with literally nothing better to do than spend time with my miraculously not dead best friend. I'm not sure what, exactly, you think I'm dropping in favor of being here with you.” Tommy reached out a hand and pulled Oliver to his feet. “You mentioned before that you'd thought about our plans to run a nightclub sometimes while you were on the island. Well lets do it. That warehouse had the perfect set up for it; shouldn't take too long in renovations. What do you say?”

Oliver smiled and it was an oddly quiet, tentative looking expression. “Let's do it.”

Tommy felt the warm thrum of success as he grinned in return. “Now… sleeping bag?”

“I guess its still with the rest of our camping stuff in the garage?” Oliver headed for the door and Tommy followed.

“Yeah.”

[l-1-z-a]

Comment from devs in objects.package of Nightlife expansion pack in string about refusal to go on a date. Was found in Russian language section:

NEEDS REAL TEXT PLEASE

The contents of this list of strings:

<-Comment->

PJSE String file - single language export

<-String->

You don't know anyone to call. Loser. Go make friends using the shift-click cheat on the mailbox

<-Desc->

! Moved to PhoneGlobals. No longer used here. Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12 was "You don't know anyone to call. Loser.

<-String->

$NeighborLocal:1 is at work. Try again later.

<-Desc->

! Moved to PhoneCallGlobals, String 0. Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12 - Was $NeighborLocal:0 is at work. Try again later."

<-String->

Would you like to invite this Sim over, or just talk?

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12

<-String->

Invite Over

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12

<-String->

Talk

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12

<-String->

Who is this? $Neighbor isn't home now! Leave me alone!

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12

<-String->

I don't really feel like coming over right now, maybe once I got to know you a little more.

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch12

<-String->

Hey $Me, you realize that some people need to get sleep, right? Could you call back at a decent hour?

<-Desc->

!!Deleted - Moved to PhoneCallGlobals String 1 Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch15 - Was "Hey $neighbor, you do realize that some people need to sleep, right?"

<-String->

Gee, I thought you'd never ask! I'll be right over.

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch15

<-String->

$Neighbor doesn't own a phone! You can't call someone without a phone!

<-Desc->

!!Deleted - Moved to PhoneCallGlobals String 2 Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch15 - Was '$Neighbor doesn't own a phone! You can't call someone without a phone!"

<-String->

Hey $Me! Would you like to join our conversation?

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch22

<-String->

Would you like to sneak out and visit this sim?

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch 23

<-String->

$Object will come pick you up at 1:00 AM.

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch18

Accept

<-String->

I don't really feel like hanging out right now. Maybe once I get to know you a little better.

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch18

Reject

<-String->

I can't sneak out with you tonight! I have plans!

<-Desc->

Sims2 - Needs Translation - batch18

Reject

<-String->

Can my friend come over, too?

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch19

Sim invites one Sim over by phone, phone gives this dialog asking if friend can come.

<-String->

Sneak Out with %s

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch19

For Phone UI, dialog, variable is name of Sim clicked on in the name list. Appears for teen Sims after 9 pm if they know another teen.

<-String->

Call %s

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch19

For Phone UI, dialog, variable is name of Sim clicked on in the name list.

<-String->

Crank Call %s

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch19

Note: feature may or not be cut - this is ability to do Crank Calls on the phone. Cut per FP 5/27 but was still in game.

<-String->

Cool! I'll come pick you up at 8:00 PM.

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch19

Note: Dialog for Sim accepting invitation to Go Out.

<-String->

Neighbor Phone Book

<-Desc->

The Sims 2 - Needs Translation - Batch 23

<-String->

Campus Directory

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP1 - Needs translation - BatchEP1-5

<-String->

Campus Phonebook

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP1 - Needs Translation - BatchEP1-5

Header for the college dialog

<-String->

I don't know anyone to ask on a date. I need to get to know somebody before I can ask them out!!

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

Community Lot

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

Home

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

Ask %s on date

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

Great, I look forward to seeing you there. Don’t be late!

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

No, I will not go on a date with you. NEEDS REAL TEXT PLEASE

<-Desc->

The Sims2EP2 - NEEDS TRANSLATION - BatchEP2-6

<-String->

%d Maximum Guests Allowed

<-Desc->

! string used in Groups dialog

[stray-tori]

PiB 2 rambles compilation post

hi apparently ctrl+enter sends a post, whoopsies. attempt 2.

*kicks down the door* I JUST WATCHED PUSS IN BOOTS 2. & how can I return to my furry roots without returning to my tumblr roots.

! Spoilers ahoy !

OKAY SO: I SMILED LIKE SUCH A MANIAC DURING THE WHOLE WOLF INTRODUCTION WHICH IS PROBABLY NOT THE INTENDED EMOTION BUT IT WAS SO HYPE!! I WAS GRINNING BC IT WAS SO COOL!! I'M NOT WEIRD!! BE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH LESS COOLER IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE HYPED. [I did calm down when he got seriously afraid though, dw i’m not that crazy]

Obviously i knew Kitty was gonna be in it but I was like HOW. WHEN. WHERE ARE YOU. and it was such a smooth and "of course!! of course she'S IN THE BOX" way to show up! I just saw the eyes and was like “:D!!!!” (Also does anyone else remember when DW said Kitty wouldn’t be in a sequel and the whole fandom was like “well then idc” DHSAJS)

ALSO MARRIAGE??! furry marriage is such a funny concept like. what are you gonna do- wear a flowy dress- apparently yes according to the dialog at least. IT'S JUST FUNNY MAN

-

Fun German Dub Things:

“savage” from one of the two sisters in response to the unicorn horns was translated to “Geiler Schei��” which literally means “hot/sexy/awesome shit” but I JUST DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR “GEIL” IN CASUAL ANIMATED MOVIES Y’KNOW- then again I think it was also said in Strange World??

“that’s a dog in a cat costume” - “oh yeahhh- you tricky little shitter/fucker” Me: spits

“dogpiles don’t work on cats” -> “what are you doing? sleeping off a hangover” (hangover and puss are the same word in german) The fact that they not only adapted but it also works so well because he takes a sip at the end of that line is so!!!! GOOD JOB

All the "P" signatures were changed to "K" even in the animation?? I can’t prove this but once german ver is on something I’ll def compare the animations!! so much international effort holy shit... I was like "K??? for what does that stand?? KILL???" and then I was like "Kater??? [Puss] NO WAY WHAT"

-

there were a lot of cool transition cuts but one that stood out to me was after the scene with the lives singing and his silhouette shifted to two cliffs or something of the like-

-

Obviously the wolf is extremely cool and all his scenes slay so hard, but I also like how they played up whether he was real or not. I was tending to yes bc where he grabbed Puss on his coat there was actually a tear and I just thought it'd be hard to make a fight climax if he wasn't real, but I still like how they played that up BUT GOD THANK YOU I'm a little tired of things not being real (CoUGH IDV COUFH)

friend: Also have a close look at 4:51 [crowd shot of the extended preview] me: HOLY SHIT

HOWEVER, WHEN HE STARTED BEING LIKE "I was always there" i just sat there like. no. no you're not going to make me remember the STUPID EGG FROM THE FIRST MOVIE I WAS SO SCARED THEY'D GO INTO ANOTHER GOOFY MONTAGE!! I do think it's cool they kinda... made a parallel in that but I DIDNT WANT TO REMEMBER!! BEGONE

-

very fun movie. most fun cinema experience I've had for a while. I'm really glad I went to see it in cinema bc the heartbeat sound in surround sound was def grasping and like. obviously the bass and everything!

Also kinda got kicked by like... nostalgia too? I don’t really think of PiB as often as fondly as I do of KFP so it really surprised me that I got that happy to see them again. It definitely helps that the movie genuinely slayed.

it's what I want to feel for KFP but !! UGH THE CRINGE sahjads

-

I really enjoyed it, it definitely deserves all the hype it’s getting. go dreamworks!!

I will watch bad guys soon i promise i’ve been meaning to but A

[nataliesilverman]

I find vampire allegory a bit flawed.

If you go with the race angle, you're injecting tangible biological differences in reproduction, diet, neurological differences, and environment into the fray.

Like vampires EAT people. They're apex predators, and if you say they're demons, they're an invasive species. If you go with hte virus angle, they're a plague. I have never liked this idea because it's an outright racist/eugenicist/racialist narrative.

Class is another mess but it is still flawed depending on how your vampires work. If they're demons, we've got a political element due to a foreign invasion/globalism undertone. Things from another world coming into yours and picking off the most vulnerable in society has protectionist vibes. So I still don't really like this. This can be viewed as an immigration issue, with foreigners coming in to commit and defile our women. Maybe not a DIRECT parallel, as vampires don't often have the numbers to replace a significant number of human jobs, but I can say society would benefit from them working night shift, but that also depends on if they abuse their positions to break into houses and eat people while they sleep, so...maybe also not the best narrative to have.

But then there's the classic ol' Wealth and Royalty allegory. Your Dracula type. An aristocrat who bleeds the land dry and has aspirations of world dominance. I kind of view this as the only real acceptable allegory for a vampire narrative. A single intelligent predator who's extremely difficult to kill, who sires an elite army of loyalists and simps. Doesn't really do a lot of working outside of biting people to indocrinate them to capitalism, and spending time with a harem of female vampires. But this can also be used as a populist narrative to inspire paranoia. "Who amogus is a vampire?"

Like when I get asked why I have vampires in my narrative when I have them feed on cloned blood, walk around in the sun (which the OG Dracula COULD DO so shut the fuck up already) but I don't use any of the common tropes, this is why. I feels ethically wrong to take societal issues and attach biology to them. That's eugenicist propaganda with a fantastical coat of paint slapped on it. It's best to view vampires as they are; people who feed on the blood of others. In a scifi setting, I feel they would very quickly resort to slavery or blood cloning. Even the demonic aspect seems off to me, because these thousands of years old spirits who possess humans seem rather unintelligent like animals and it always leaves me wondering why they're so dumb. Like a predator that looks human is an imitation predator. It would NEED a high IQ to blend in unless it just lives in the sewers until nighttime. In which case like, humans would catch on and either clean out their hideouts or just fumigate them. In the case of vampires using humans as livestock, there are some interesting narratives in that. What is human and who are more valuable? Is it unavoidable? Can they just eat animal blood or is this racism? Vampires using cloned blood is the most appealing to me because it offers open dialog and coexistence with humans. It turns human civilization into a multi-civilization society and there is not enough of that in fantasy or scifi. These genres tend to be very human-centric and it interests me to have an augmented perspective on humanity.

[qu-film-history-to-1968]

                                                 The Cinema of Melodrama And the Impact it Shaped Evolving Into Any Form of Media Format and Styles

I perceived Charlie Chaplin to be an intriguing character in the Gold Rush movie, and I want to point out how he does a great job of carrying the concept of melodrama to the screen together with hits of comedy. After reading and thoroughly analyzing each of these articles, I discovered a couple of quotations that I would like to apply to each another. I’d like to shift on the first important quote that relates to this idea and concept  with the first quote I found is from the Williams article on cinema and sentiment. The quote reads “Certainly the movies, like the stage melodramas they have largely superceded, have long been a source of powerful and usually uncritical spectatorial emotions.” This phrase caught my attention because, in my opinion, it clarifies how these movies function to elicit a range of diverse feelings from the audience. For instance, Chaplin uses the dramatic topic while still adding a comic element to his work, illustrating the concept of several emotions. Moving further into the indepth and reading of the connections from the second example being that “Chapplin's "acting with his back" at this point, his ability to convey loneliness through the way he held his head and shoulders, pleased the New York Times critic in particular when reviewing The Gold Rush. Chaplin the director achieves a high level of expression that is just as stunning as Chaplin the actor in this scene, creating a crucial contrast between the two essential components of the image. (William Paul. "The Gold Ruhs." Film Comment. 1972.

The third and last powerful quotation comes from Linda Williams, who talks about how Chaplin is a great example of how melodramas evoke strong emotions in their audiences. Williams doesn't mention Chaplin specifically, but it's vital to keep in mind while considering melodramas. The second quotation refers to "The Gold Rush," a melodrama where Chaplin's ability to portray loneliness through his acting and direction is significant. The final quotation discusses Chaplin's creative process and how he uses terrible occurrences as the basis for some of his funniest moments in order to demonstrate how humour can develop out of tragedy as a coping mechanism. 

Finally with wrapping up and recircling back to the beginning of it all and the connections that can be made when it comes to the other films, tv series, and so on etc. watching and experiencing melodrama is the idea of how it been implemented in the aspect of every other media and creations, a great example of this being seen and implemented very well would be tv series from 1996 on MTV calll “The Maxx” that is based on the comic book series published by Image comics with the first issue debuting in 1993. The series follows the story of The Maxx, a homeless man who believes he is a superhero. The Maxx shifts between the real world and a dream world, which he refers to as The Outback, which is just as real to him as the real world. His only friend is Julie Winters, a "freelance social worker". Little does she know that she and The Maxx have a deeper connection, and it involves the dream world into which The Maxx is constantly drawn. The tv series is an adaption of the first 11 issues from the original comic run, the tv series does an amazing way of implementing melodramatic feel and tone with taking a very serious topic and realistic world issues while at the same time with implementing key elements of melodrama with the drawn facial expressions, the music and time sound effects during certain scenes and one on one dialog conversations.

[signalwatch]

Watched:  09/21/2023

Format:  TCM

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Douglas Sirk

Sometimes you just need a good cry.  This is the movie to make you do it whether you like it or not.

Way back in the mid-90's when I was going through film school, we, of course, had screenings of films.  The movies were curated and representative of a variety of eras, forms, genres, etc...  all tee'd up to illustrate whatever the instructors planned to discuss that week.  It's a weird way to do homework, but we saw some great stuff.  Also, I got to learn to sit with films that were never going to be my cup of tea, especially at age 19 or so.

One of the films shown was Imitation of Life, a 1959 melodrama spanning decades and following a young, widowed white woman, Lora (Lana Turner), who teams up with an African-American single mother, Annie (Juanita Moore), to jointly raise daughters of a similar age.  

It's actually a remake of a film I haven't seen from 1934, starring Claudette Colbert and Louise Beavers.  And one day I'll watch that one, too.

During the same meet-cute where Annie and Lora meet, Steve (John Gavin) appears as a photographer, indirectly getting Lora her first gig and - as this is Lana Turner - deciding to woo her.  Lora welcomes Annie and her daughter into their humble apartment, and as Annie settles into triple role of housekeeper, best friend, co-mother, Lora's dreams of success on the stage suddenly take off. 

At the half-way point, the movie escalates quickly.  We have a time shift to the end of the girl's high  school careers.  Lora's daughter, Susie (Sandra Dee), is a perky, happy rich blonde girl attending a nearby boarding school.  Annie's daughter, Sarah Jane (Susan Kohner), has matured into a lovely but bitter girl.  Early signs of her wishing to "pass" as white have grown, and now she's hiding her mother and the fact she's Black from anyone she can.

To put a point on it, the title has meaning!  As Lora is focused on her career, she misses what's happening with her daughter, with Sarah Jane and - finally - Annie.  She's been able to outsource her mothering role to her friend, running from job to job, and having no real interest in what's happening with Sarah Jane other than a detached view of her friend being upset.  But Susie herself is living in a world of illusion - believing she's falling in love with Steve, who's essentially treating her like his daughter or pal.  

Sarah Jane's story is paired with Annie - who can't do anything to help her daughter and stay in her life.  The dialog may be a bit clunky by 2023 standards, but in 1959 as much as today, this is some rough stuff to watch in the best way.  

SPOILERS

Look, Annie is slowly dying over the last 45 minutes of the movie, and nobody fucking notices, even as she's lying in bed.  Lora is preoccupied with Steve, her career, etc..., Sarah Jane has run off to the West Coast to live as a white woman, and Susie is convinced she's marrying Steve - and when that doesn't work out, she's going to run away to Colorado.

Annie can't save these people from themselves, and she can't be there for them anymore.  

Anyway, she passes - and you think you're okay, until the funeral and there's Mahalia Jackson.  And I was utterly wrecked.

Back in my college days, by the end of the film, the snobby film kids were largely locked in, myself included.  I think I was more invested this time than even on a first viewing.

Melodrama gets some side-eye.  We think of it as "soap opera" or low-class.  There's surely some misogyny baked into this take as this film, and many others aimed at women, were busily passing the Bechdel test decades before it was dreamed up - and this doesn't deal much at all with masculine interests or pursuits.  But at the end of the day, melodrama can be more universally understood than big concept pictures and the accessibility of the emotional content - when done well - can carry over complicated ideas.  This is a movie about challenges the audience who showed up for a Lana Turner movie* may not have been aware they were getting.

The movie is matter-of-fact about the world to which Sarah Jane is reacting, and her desire to want something other than the race-based class system into which she was born is understandable, if utterly tragic..  But the love of a mother being so great that she has to let her daughter go is some moving stuff.  You hope that audiences of 1959 (or 2023) understood their part in the tragedy.  Only in death is Annie truly appreciated.

It's Sirk, so every frame is gorgeous, and I half want to re-watch immediately to determine some of what he did to drive the story with camera and lighting - with astounding use of technicolor in mostly domestic, not-exotic locations or sets.  This is his final Hollywood melodrama, and I've only seen this one and All That Heaven Allows.  I'm curious to check out more.    

*prior to making this movie, Turner had been caught up in a sensational news story as her mobster boyfriend was killed by her own daughter who was protecting Turner from physical abuse.  Prior to that, Turner was considered one of the sexiest women in film (see: The Postman Always Rings Twice), and arguably Turner was continuing her run of doing quite well in this department with this film.