#real bitches of wwdits

[memosminifridge]

smdh.... some of us SAY we are true memo stans and that we support Guillermo fully in ALL his toxic behavior, but when he drinks yoohoo? and wears true religion jeans? and parts his hair in the middle? suddenly it gets REAAAL QUIET 🤔🐸🍵

[lesbos-crossings]

guillermo in the back room waiting for nadja

[perfectlyzombiedmuffins]

THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING

Not Colin Robinson revealing that he's queer but usually doesn't mention it bc it'd make him too interesting

[mycurrentobsessionis]

RuPaul Drag Race: Vampires Edition

Lestat (IWTV) and Armand have to lip sync against each other

Astarion (BG3) is the season's narrator and shadiest bitch

Lazlo (WWDITS) is the season's lip sync assassin

Maurice (Reginald the Vampire) is the trade of the season

Louis lip syncs "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" AT Lestat while the other vampire queens go wild. Except for Alucard (Castlevania) who in the confessional is just like "there's a weird tension between Lestat and Louis"

Nandor is that one contestant that should have been sent home, but Ru loves his energy and lets him stay

Every time Astarion is in the confessional, he reminds the audience that he makes all his own drag

Carmilla is a reoccurring guest judge

Someone (probably Lestat lbr) makes the mistake of calling Cazador Astarion's ex, and he loses his shit. Astarion gets free therapy in the werkroom and bonds with Louis

They get their videos from home and Nandor's is Guillermo cheering him on and he just starts ugly-crying while denying that he's ugly-crying

Alucard's is Trevor and the message is just "eat shit" and a finger heart

Daniel Molloy wins the snatch game... as Lestat. While Lestat is sitting right there. All the other queens are bouncing off Daniel while the real Lestat is pouting in the corner, ignored.

[lettuce-king]

In honor of wwdits s5 coming out soon im going to be listing batshit crazy theories bc at this point the more absurd the theory, the higher the chance of it existing.

Guillermo doesn't turn into a vampire but shows a lot of vampire tendencies. Its later revealed that Nandor wished for him to never be able to turn into a vampire but his slayer blood desperately wants him to be one and that's why he's still showing symptoms

Aka slayer blood trope pulls and uno reverse

Colin Robinson's real name is Robinson Colin

This is what disqualifies him from winning the election that he would've totally won in a landslide

We get Greg/camera crew lore (plz I love them and I want to know everything abt them)

The Guide was actually the one that put the hex on Nadja a long time ago and they both forgot

The Djinn gets hella bitches this season

Nandor gets emotionally attached to that carousel

Sean doesn't even actually come out, he just says something and it's misinterpreted as a coming out

Alternatively, they're all incredibly gay

Guillermo fucks that old man (guess)

Its revealed that Laszlo is only helping Guillermo so he can later on make him help him get his witch hat back from Simon the Devious

Now bc I wanna add a bit of ✨spice✨

Series finale hot take:

camera crew looks back at all the footage and says "wow go girls, you gave us nothing" and deletes the footage of the entire show

[deathsletters]

SPOILERS WWDITS S5

The reveal of Colin Robinson's real name and the story with his ex-boyfriend seems to hurt him, at least he looked hurt. I want to know what happened now! (the "Colin Robinson is interesting" thing in this episode really worked on the audience too xD)

Also drugged Guillermo saying ''bitch'' all the time is just xD

[cirrus-grey]

The lovely @patchpane tagged me for this WIP game!

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

As in the past I'm just sticking to my TMA wips, because let's be real... anything I've started for another fandom is so far on the back burner that it's practically falling off the stove (though to be fair some of these are not far behind). So with that said:

Beach Day

CW: Amatonormativity

Dating App AU

Episode 47 - Martin helps Jon after stabbing

Episode 122 - Martin shows up after Jon wakes

Fairytale Snippet

Gerry/Reader

Keepsakes

Me and you and you and me (D&D)

Mechs

Post-canon memory loss neighbors

RQBB2020

S3 “one night stand”

Soulmates as Omens

The Interpretation of Dreams

The Research Journal of Jonathan Sims, c. 1818

Wwdits au

Prompts and Posts (1-38)

Plot bunnies (1-6)

*Untitled* Tim gave an exaggerated gasp, pointing...

*Untitled* S3 jmart Martin thinks there's something...

*Untitled* Sliding-favorable Jon slowly getting...

*Untitled* Georgie overhears Jon tell Martin he...

*Untitled* daemon au Martin has spaniel and...

(For the untitled wips I just grabbed a chunk of the first sentence on the page)

Prompts and Posts and Plot bunnies: Both of these documents have multiple untitled story ideas in them, so if you're curious about the ideas I've jotted down but not yet moved to a dedicated solo document (some of them are quite detailed!) send me either "Prompts" with a number between 1-38 or "Bunnies" with a number between 1-6! (Feel free to send multiple numbers if you like since it's a blind draw!)

*Insert standard disclaimer that I can't think of that many people* Uhhh I don't know who's done this already but @magnetarmadda @tired-beholding-bitch @saintbleeding @dcartcorner?

[loisroo]

8 shows to get to know me

i was tagged by @tiffanylamps forever ago (sorry 🤦🏼‍♀️) and more recently by @evil-moonlight (thank you my beloved evil 🖤🖤).

btw none of these are in order because i can’t choose favorites and most of them are recent shows that I’ve watched and not all my favorites over the years.

1. the untamed — y’all i’m a basic bitch and i wish I could say i loved this for wwx and lwj relationship, the darkness and the sacrifice, the pain that comes with being known, the grief of losing the one you hold dear and all the wonderful, wonderful things this show is about… but in reality it’s because of this idiot:

2. beyond evil — this show has consumed me for like two years now and i’m still writing fic for it and I watch it multiple times. the plot is amazing, the actors are phenomenal, the writer and director are both women. they care about the victims on this show and allow vulnerability to exist while also keeping you at the edge of your seat and so fucking confused. the characters are dynamic and nuanced and so very real, it makes you feel for them so much. but if I’m staying honest then it’s mostly because of these two idiots being in love:

3. we are lady parts— i didn’t even know i needed this show until i watched it. it’s so fucking punk, the whole show just oozes pink vibes and the music ughhhhhhhh. i’m neither muslim nor from the united kingdom but i resonated so fucking hard with aspects of the characters and fell in with the whole show. it’s empowering and fun, i highly recommend this to everyone.

4. what we do in the shadows (wwdits) — this show is just… one of the best comedies ever. the writing, the acting, the character development…. this show might honestly be one of the best i’ve ever seen even outside of the comedy genre. it’s so much more then it actually leads you to believe at first. plus the gay, can’t forget about the gay because literally the whole show is queer and i love it. and the plus sized rep is also super wonderful!

5. good omens — i recommend this show to everyone because it’s wonderful in so many ways, and the two leads are just *chef’s kiss* but i also love this show so much because it was written by my brother’s favorite author (@neil-gaiman) and he loved this book (and american gods) so much, he talked about it constantly. now that he’s gone whenever i watch it, i feel closer to him and connected to him, it’s a really nice way to handle my grief sometimes. plus i know he’d be pissed that he missed the show too. lol

6. ted lasso — this show was super surprising for me, i don’t mind watching sports and some games but I was like 10 episodes about sports? Mmmmm maybe not. but then my sister begged and begged for me to watch it so i did. it’s second to wwdits with comedy but this show has the healthiest characters, the greatest character developments, they call out toxic masculinity and sexist ideals, and it’s so heartwarming. i rarely stop smiling while watching it, top notch writing and top notch acting.

7. derry girls — i struggle to pinpoint the exact reason i adore this show so much. maybe it’s the teenagers that act like actual teenager, or the inclusion of parents in the story line without them being dumb or the main characters or ignore their children. maybe it’s because they are a light in a dark time, living through something awful and scary while still trying to live their lives. maybe it’s the wonderful characters that make you smile and laugh… maybe it’s sister george michael.

8. the equalizer — i fucking love queen latifah. she is awesome as the man badass lead in this, she’s smart and resourceful and she uses that to help people in her community and make things right when the law falls short. most of the main cast are black women and a lot of the guests and secondary characters are also people of color and women. ohh also gay auntie saw whatttttttttttttttt. i know this show doesn’t get the greatest overall ratings and people really judge it often but it’s a show about the injustices in the world with a dynamic and diverse cast, I really really love watching it.

thanks for the tags! 🖤 no pressure tags: @killerandhealerqueen @l-tyrell @tardis--dreams @ah-ragehappy @cafedecanela @magicaldreamfox1

[maryshelleysgrave]

Actually I'm going to add onto this with some suggestions for anyone who's wanting some fun vampire music, if that's ok

- Do not forget about everyone's favourite goth dad Aurelio Voltaire

- Calabrese (saw some people mention them in the tags, genuinely go listen to them they're good!!)

- Creeper's album Sanguivore is literally just about vampires (might not count as cheesy fun because I do think it's an actual masterpiece but it also has songs like Chapel Gates which contains the hit lyrics "she's getting laid but not to rest/she's undead and undressed". Go listen to it)

- Fable Cry's album Fool Me Once is a whole concept album about 1930s era (?) bootlegging, speakeasy owning vampires who are out for revenge (as a side note they also have a song called The Good Doctor which is about Frankenstein's creation of the creature)

- Sarah and the Safe Word. Another "dark cabaret goth rock" band like Aurelio Voltaire and Fable Cry. Not specific to vampires but they do have some vampire-esque songs and they enjoy storytelling (if you want a song about a race car driver who made a deal with the devil then they have you covered)

- Moth Slut (not exactly cheesy fun but I imagine HELLHOUND is the kind of song that would play at a vampire rave so it's close enough)

- Count Spookula. If you want to get real silly then this is one of the cheesiest funniest things I can suggest

Honourable mentions / classic fun vampire song suggestions:

- Release the Bats by The Birthday Party

- Riboflavin by Grave 45

- Lesbian Vampires from Outer Space by Scary Bitches

- Dracula's Castle by New Order

- Bloodsucker by Paralysed Age

- Bloodletting (the Vampire Song) by Concrete Blonde

- You're Dead by Norma Tanega (for any WWDITS fans out there)

It's not an exhaustive list and there's definitely so much more out there but this is all I can think of right now so yeah, go enjoy some marginally spooky fun music

Truly not enough vampire goth bands these days..... why does everybody wanna seem cool these days what happened to cheesy fun

[suprsingr]

Up with insomnia and was wondering how tf Guillermo has managed to not go certifiably insane after over ten years of hacking up bodies and stuffing them in garbage bags before I realized... Oh right. He's a literal serial killer. He was born insane. Right.

Now I'm thinking about Nandor picking up this weird goth teenager from Panera Bread and saying, "Yeah, Idk, just get us virgins and then get rid of the bodies, I don't care how you do it," and Guillermo just like. Pulls out a circular saw.

[lord-of-the-ducks]

I’ve had 9 months to plan my celebratory s4 premiere meal and it’s everything I dreamed of

[exciting]

wtf im watching what we do in the shadows for the first time and it was literally filmed on my old street. they literally hump the window display in a store that i used to manage. they boogie in clubs i used to throw up in. truly wellington at its finest.

[toadminako]

I watched the leaked WWDITS S4 episodes 9 and 10 and I’m now going to word-vomit out my thoughts, but I’ll do it under the cut ‘cause I got manners. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED

Well… That was a bummer.

OK, let’s list the things I did like about the final 2 episodes first:

Al Roberts is a sweetheart as Freddie and gets to do some very funny comedy with what happens in the back half of episode 9.

We get lots more Guide and Nadja (Guidja?) scenes. They’re so delightful together, I love Kristen Schaal and we get to see Nadja being a messy bitch a falling all over the place again.

Laszlo’s empty-nest desperation at child-Colin growing up is funny, sweet, sad and well-acted. Matt Berry really getting to show his acting chops again for this finale.

But here’s the thing…

I get that, narrative-wise, Nandor would have to do something terrible to drive Guillermo away properly; they set that up immediately in episode one that Guillermo was already set to leave and was just holding on to help with the wedding and raising Colin. But the awful thing that Nandor does is just… Too awful, in my opinion?

It’s a thoughtless thing to do to Guillermo, yes (and thoughtless in a way that seems more in-character for season 1-2 Nandor, not season 4 Nandor) but it’s a HORRIBLE thing to do to Marwa, like it has genuinely upset me. She had her personality slowly chipped away at, only to finally be subsumed into a different person entirely. An almost textbook example of “death of personality”.

I get that she was always going to be a side-character and more an accessory to Nandor’s arc this season, but we saw little glimpses of her finding things she loved for herself (watching Mamma Mia with the girls) and little glimmers of her fighting back against Nandor (locking him out of the man-cave) and now she doesn’t even get the chance to escape and live her own life? What the FUCK man?

Yes I know the cast are all goofy serial killers, but what happens to Marwa – being Djinned out of existence after we’ve got to know her, even if only a little bit – just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I hope this plot thread returns in some way and we get to see the real Marwa come back in some form.

I just wanted some kind of actualisation for Nandor, some recognition of what he actually wants and what he actually needs to change about himself. I’m not saying I wanted a Nandermo kiss, but I at least wanted Nandor to have a genuine moment of realisation. Not even realising what he feels for Guillermo is love necessarily, but at least realising that he values Guillermo as more than just a familiar-friend-bodyguard-best-man. He makes some very stupid attempts at making amends at the end of ep 9, but by ep 10 he’s just regressed to being an aloof asshole which is what finally drives Guillermo away. If they were going to follow through on his character development in season 3 and 4, he should at least have offered to make Guillermo a vampire, or held out some other genuine olive branch to him (like he tried to do at the end of S3).

They really appeared to be setting up an “Oh” moment for Nandor (how much sweeter they are together for much of the season, the dick wish, Marwa-as-Nandor kissing Guillermo), then just totally dropped the ball and made Nandor do something that seems uncharacteristically selfish, even for him.

And I GET it, we need the impetus for Guillermo to leave and find someone else to make him a vampire. And I DO like that they’re finally acknowledging that Guillermo knows plenty of vampires willing to turn him. And I LOVE that we’re probably going to be seeing more of Derek in the future but…

Yeah. I’m disappointed.

“Guillermo might finally be turned” is a great cliffhanger, but honestly? After how they totally wasted the “Guillermo and Nadja go to London” cliffhanger in season 3, I’m not sure I trust them fully to follow through on it.

TLDR: I am dissatisfied by this finale, and depressed by that.  

[ineffably-human]

So uh, speaking of leaks... (part 2)

On a Discord server, @kyrilu pointed out two more Vimeo links of people reading for Shadows scenes in s4. I’m posting them with permission. Unlike the other leak provided, these are still up and able to be viewed by whoever. (Please don’t bother the people who auditioned, or anyone in the Shadows cast/crew, or do anything that could lead to these getting a takedown like the other leak apparently did.)

Since I've seen people questioning how real any of these are, I don't know about the first leak (the Freddie one) since we don't have actual video and only a clip of audio, except that @kyrilu seems like a very nice person who is familiar with looking up industry stuff and who also found these other vids. (Which are easily found btw, literally just search wwdits on Vimeo.)

But these other videos they also pointed out seem completely legit. These are real people clearly reading from audition sides, they give their names and heights etc etc, they're from around 3 months ago which is when they'd be casting/shooting for smaller parts. There's a video on Vimeo that's from a year ago with someone reading for Contessa Carmilla, and those lines are similar to or identical to the lines we actually got in A Farewell. I agree the dialogue to the Freddie one feels kind of 'off', but these two scenes also feel perfectly in character and in line with the show's humor.

I transcribed the first link here and gave my thoughts. Now I'll be transcribing/doing meta about the second one which is...y'all. This isn't a plot spoiler but what's going on in these scenes, I am even more excited for this Nandermo-wise than I am about the first leak that sent everyone spiraling earlier. I love this. I love everything about this SO MUCH.

As before, I’m going to reference 'Reader’ for person reading the other lines and 'Actor’ for the person screen testing since it’s not always clear who the reader is reading for when there are more than two people in the scene. I’ll speculate/give a name of what character it seems to be when I can.

Transcript of the second link:

SCENE ONE:

ACTOR (Richie Suck): (playing with a video game controller, BIG yawn, pause) I'm okay.

READER (Tom): I said you're too tired, Master. We talked about this! She's not paying enough for you to give so much of yourself to people who don't love you.

READER (I mean I can't confirm this but it's Nandor, right? it NEEDS to be Nandor): Richie, who is this jackass?

ACTOR: It's my familiar Tom.

READER (please let this be Nandor): And you let him speak to you in this way?

READER (Tom): I take care of my master. He's been traumatized by the music business.

READER (Nandor?): Begone, familiar. I am not speaking to you. This is a vampire-only discussion. Right, Richie?

ACTOR: (angrily) Tom protects me from myself! You need to be more respectful!

READER (Nandor?): (gasps) I should respect Familiar Tom?

(Richie nods empatically)

READER (Tom): Doctor Tom.

(Richie mouths for emphasis, 'Doctor Tom')

SCENE TWO:

(Richie is standing holding a microphone, his eyes are closed pensively and he nods a few times)

READER (could be Nandor? or Tom here really): Remember what I said, be yourself.

(Richie gives them a thumbs up, slaps his chest twice, steps forward and waves his arm in a horizontal chopping motion before raising the mic)

ACTOR: Thank you all for coming out. I've been away for a while, and well, it's been a journey. So before I start the show, I'd like to bring out a man that's been important to this whole part: my familiar! Dr. Tom Schmidt!

READER (Dr. Tom): Thanks, Richie. First of all-

ACTOR: Hold up! Now, me and Dr. Tom decided I should be more (waves a hand) authentic, so we collaborated on a bunch of new songs with (indicating someone) Jasmine Three here.

(READER as audience boos)

ACTOR: But guess what? We ain't doing none of those songs.

(Audience cheers)

READER (Dr. Tom): Listen, Master...

ACTOR: Hey, hey, I'm done listening to you. Somebody come eat this bitch.

(Audience cheers)

ACTOR: Now, who wants to hear me do my thing? (audience cheers) Who wants to hear my tell my truth? (cheers) Who wants to hear some shit from Richie Suck that they ain't never heard before? (cheers) Who wants to hear me do some observational comedy?

(Audience boos)

ACTOR: Like, have you ever been flying around as a bat, and get hit by a drone, and think (looks scandalized) damn, the robots are after us? (audience boos) Like you know what's cool about being a vampire? Huh? ...You don't have to do any dishes! (dead silence) ...No, but seriously, grandmas say some stupid shit. (audience boos)

READER (some fan maybe?): Richie Suck, courageously working without a net, that's what makes his life experience so fuckin' irreplaceable.

READER (some fan maybe?): I came all the way from Pennsylvania, I want the hits.

READER (Nandor maybe?): Yes, maybe just sing some hits, Richie.

ACTOR: Nah! That was the old Richie! You told me to tell my truth! My truth is observational comedy. Y'all never notice how grandmas say (old lady voice) 'do you have a girlfriend?' and I be like 'bitch, if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be visiting you, would I?' Huh? (mic drop)

---

...y'all. Y'ALL.

I love him. I love that his name is Richie Suck. I love that Dr. Tom is basically Dr. Dre. I love that Dr. Tom was trying to help him be more authentic while not torpedoing his career, and he throws the poor guy over in the most stone-cold way to do the worst standup on earth.

I feel like it's definitely Nandor in that first scene, and who encourages Richie to 'tell his truth'. I figure we're going to get at least one subplot, if not full-on episode, of Nandor traveling alone and figuring shit out; it's too good a concept and too big of a character development thing to not explore it at least a little. And this is everything I want from it, right down to seeing different examples of vampire-familiar relationships than we have in the past.

I love the idea of Nandor freshly hurting from being 'stood up', reverting to his old imperious bullshit about vampire-only conversations, and being told to cut that shit out because Richie's familiar takes care of him ("and you can take care of me") and protects him from himself ("I just want to protect you from yourselves").

"She's not paying enough for you to give so much of yourself to people who don't love you."

And I'm 100% speculating here, but the sheer potential of Nandor going 'well clearly he's just holding you back, speak your truth, tell your story, eat prey love!' and finding that no - Richie's impulses are fucking terrible and Tom absolutely did care about him, and protect him, and these people don't really love him for who he is, and Tom did, and fuck, Nandor misses Guillermo so much.

Like I don't know if the Freddie leak is real or not, honestly, but if we're getting this and then we're getting Guillermo trying to find relationships outside the household? Even if we're not getting the other leak, the way an entire subplot of Nandor's travel alone is to realize just how much Guillermo does and how much Guillermo means to him?

Guillermo is Nandor's love story. Guillermo is the love Nandor has already found. We're gonna get our asses fed and I am so freaking excited.

[mithrilhearts]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿)

Oh gosh, okay! Thank you so much for this Robyn! And @middleearthpixie also tagged me in this as well, so we're just gonna combine them.

My favorite five fics that I've written....okay! Time to do a little Razzle-Bragging (in no particular order)

Acorntober 2021 - This was an absolute BEAST to accomplish. 31 days of Bagginshield one shots (or 2 chapter updates for the last two days, actually). It was so draining, but it was also one of those things that I couldn't give up on. My 1k follower event was worth it, but I don't know if I'll ever want to do something like that again. Maybe. Will Acorntober 2022 exist? We'll see.

May Your Forge Burn Bright - My first big fic!!! It's still ongoing, but we're on the downhill slope...sort of! Honestly, this is the fic that really launched me into the world of fanfic and I owe a lot of my success(?) to this one. I can't wait to finish it. It's the original Razzy fic!

Dragonhearted - THIS ONE!!! This one!!! It's a tie between this and MYFBB as to which is my favorite at the moment, as Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie, and the Hobbit is my favorite other movie and story. Mashing them together has been so much fun, and DRAGON!THORIN MY BELOVED. The overwhelming response to this one has been, well, overwhelming. Lots of kind words and feedback have made this story beyond incredible for me as a writer.

Bookbinder//Songwriter - My first modern AU piece! And it was a real bitch to get off of the ground. I honestly had no idea what to do with it, and it started out as a small prompt from @mailinsblogofstuff and now has skyrocketed its way to the top, becoming something of a favorite among my friends, as well as for myself and I can't wait to dive more into this universe! I love rock music, I love books and I love Bagginshield. What more can I ask for?

Where The Shadows Lie - WWDITS has cursed me, apparently. Goth!Bagginshield fic needed to happen. This is the crackiest and most wild story I've got on the go right now, and it really makes my creative brain tingle with excitement. There's no such thing as something being "too weird" in this story, and it gives me some fun things to play with. I love this story and all its weirdness-it looks like a fair amount of others do too!

[assiraphales]

I was letting the looney tunes logic win the vote (which it is good very good) but

-nandor was a warlord/general of the ottoman empire who is OLDER than armand at 760 year old. he has also live-streamed flying to space

-nadja has a sonic scream that can paralyze ppl n telekinesis powers. and dolly don’t forget dolly

-laszlo can hypnotize animals and is a mad scientist who has developed vampire sunscreen so he could go to the beach

-colin is an energy vampire / day walker who can weaken u just by opening his mouth

-Guillermo is a van helsing who has killed dozens of vampires in one go and nandor forced into a fight club

these bitches r goofy and choose not to be serious and tragic on purpose but they r powerful (and yes I recognize the iwtv vamps have serious skills and powers too). but the REAL question ppl who doubt wwdits should be asking is would guillermo be able to kill childhood icon armand