#ready to take the punch

[godhelpmefindit]

I literally feel like cutting myself what

[katabay]

some mk1 kenshi and johnny cage sketches because I feel so so so normal about them

[vilochkaaa]

i did what i've been planning to do for a long time - a fem. version of Pierre..

(*n´ω`n*)

[carma-tjol]

“To know you is to love you.”

[fisheito]

@trainto1925 coincidentally i have just arrived

The soft ones ARE choosing violence 🥰

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Honestly, I was a bit surprised at how much the fandom seems to actively despise Ging because to me he's just kind of a funny little man

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

whumptober 2023 - day 1 ↳ drugging (alt prompt) The Continental 1x01

[bellaaldamas]

@stupidrant this is the official, SMS approved (hopefully) gif everyone should use whenever they encounter a fandom troll.

[i-didnt-quite-get-that-now]

i thought it was a given guys why are you shocked?

[tennessoui]

pbatmb anakin telling obi-wan “i’m not wearing that” for the four word prompts please!

so this is pbatmb anakin saying "i'm not wearing that".

but not to obi-wan.

(1.2k) (warnings: general pbatmb warnings apply? vaguely fluffy sorta disturbing, a few uses of daddy but not in a serious way)

There’s a thunk on the other side of the door. It could be either Cody’s fist or his head.

Anakin doesn’t particularly care. He stares directly opposite him, drawing his legs closer to his chest as he shifts on the marble floor.

“Skywalker, come on,” the man says, sounding impatient. Anakin sneers. “We’re going to be late.”

“Fuck you,” Anakin says, resting his chin on his knees.

“We’re going to be late and your fiance is going to think you’re getting cold feet and planning to leave him at the altar and he’s going to make it everyone’s fucking problem in the entire goddamn city. Including me.”

Anakin narrows his eyes, considering the words. He’s not—he doesn’t want Obi-Wan to think he’s running out on him. He’s in his suit, light gray with a golden pattern swirling through the fabric, pristine white shirt and tie, lingerie beneath it all. He’s washed and plucked and styled, and he’s ready to marry Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He is absolutely not ready to leave their shared bathroom in their loft to go to whatever venue Obi-Wan has booked for their ceremony and then their reception. And that has nothing to do with his soon-to-be husband.

And everything to do with his husband’s brother, currently thumping his fist—or head, and Anakin prefers that mental picture—against the locked door to the—to the tune of…

He’s on his feet and unlocking the door in a fit of pique. “Is that really fucking ‘Here Comes The Bride’, you fuc—”

Cody’s fist, raised and pulled back for another knock, doesn’t stop. 

Not until it makes contact with Anakin’s eye.

The pain is secondary to the fucking shock. “Holy shit,” he says.

To his credit, Cody doesn’t look as celebratory as Anakin’s always thought he’d look after laying a punch on Anakin.

He actually looks pretty fucking terrified. “Fuck,” he says succinctly. “Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.”

“Yeah,” Anakin agrees, turning around to look in the mirror behind him. “Holy shit, Fett. I’m bleeding. You made me bleed on my wedding day.”

“Quick,” Cody says. “Display the bedsheets.”

Anakin leans over the sink and prods at the red skin beneath his eye in morbid curiosity, pushing extra hard over the small cut left behind by Cody’s ring. “Oh, dead man walking’s got jokes. Tell that one to Obi-Wan, I think he’d love the implication another man took my virginity. On our wedding day.”

Cody’s glare could level a city. “Now you have to wear this.”

“I’m not wearing that,” Anakin shoots him a look in the mirror. “I wasn’t going to let you tie a blindfold on me before and now that you’ve punched me in the face, not sure I’m trusting you more.”

“Yeah, well. Before you were going to put this on because your fiance requested that you’re led to the venue blindfolded—ostensibly so it’s all a surprise, but if you ask me, he doesn’t think you can run as fast without your eyes—and now you’re going to wear it so Obi-Wan doesn’t see the shiner you’ll be sprouting in a few hours.”

“You think I’m going to wear a blindfold my entire wedding?” Anakin asks, laughter bursting out of him. “You think I’m getting married to someone as hot as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m not going to look at him? Fuck, Fett, if I thought it’d work, I’d tear out everyone else’s eyes so I could look at him through them as well.”

“You say the most disturbing things like they’re something to be proud about,” Fett says, a bit like it’s a miracle.

“Like you’ve never torn out a man’s eyes,” Anakin rolls his own and prods at his cheek again.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m sane enough to understand they’re pretty fucking useless outside of the skull,” Cody leans against the doorway with a sneer.

Anakin sneers back. “Daddy, look what Cody did to my face, Daddy. Daddy, it hurt and I cried it hurt so bad. Daddy, did you hear that? I gave tears that should have been yours to Cody instead.”

Cody starts forward automatically, eyes narrowing. Anakin smirks at him.

“Just practicing, Cody,” he smiles. “In case it comes up.”

“You dirty fucking liar.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Is that news to you?”

“Skywalker, wear it.”

“Fett, no.”

“Skywalker.”

“Fett.”

“Skywalker.”

“Fett.”

There’s a vein pulsing in Cody’s forehead. It’s the prettiest thing about him. 

“Skywalker. I’m putting this blindfold on you. And you’re going to fucking consent to it because it’s what Obi-Wan fucking wants from you. And me. And it’s my brother’s fucking wedding day and honestly, I was really hoping we’d never fucking get here, but fuck if life’s been that nice to me, ever. Even once.  And when I go to sleep, the idea of leaving you on the side of the road in a soggy cardboard box like a stray cat in a fucking hurricane is literally my happy place. Add a few bullets in your most annoying bits, it’s practically heaven, alright, so please don’t think I care about your wedding day, but fuck you if you think I don’t give a fuck about his.”

It may be the most Cody’s ever spoken to him in one go.

He narrows his eyes and weighs his options.

“Fine,” he says.

“Fuck yo—wait. What?”

“Fine,” Anakin turns to face him with a shrug. “I might never trust you not to punch me in the face given half a chance—” he gestures to his eye. “But Obi-Wan wouldn’t trust me with just anyone. Especially blindfolded. So. If I’m marrying into his mob and his multiple properties and his family, I guess. I guess I’m marrying into his trust in you.” 

Cody’s eyes narrow. “What else.”

Anakin shrugs again and grins. “And I can’t wait to hear you try to convince Obi-Wan Kenobi to last the whole wedding ceremony—to me—without demanding to see my eyes.”

Cody’s face freezes, fabric of the blindfold stretched between his fingers.

Feeling very obliging all of a sudden, Anakin leans forward to press his face into the silk. “But Cody, you have to know that if my daddy asks me to do something—like, I don’t know, show him my eyes during our wedding ceremony—I will.”

Cody grimaces. Anakin smiles.

—--------

“Thank you, Cody,” Obi-Wan murmurs as Fett guides Anakin to a stop in front of him. “I’ll take him from here.”

“I think I’m just realizing you made me walk him down the aisle,” Cody hisses. "Kenobi, it fucking looks like I'm giving him away."

“It’s not as if he has a father to do it,” Obi-Wan points out, hands wrapping around Anakin’s, strong and sure and achingly familiar. “Thank you for your service.”

“I thought you wanted the venue to be a surprise,” Fett sounds furious.

Anakin beams. “I’ve known it’s going to be in the club for ages. Who do you think suggested the venue? Ceremony and reception in one place with our bed a few floors away? Come on, use your brain, Cody.”

“Don’t make me punch you again,” Cody mutters as he takes a step back.

Obi-Wan’s tone changes like a light flickering off. “Again?”

“Yeah,” Cody huffs. “Did I fucking stutter?”

[luciandloathing]

hi it’s me anonymous i think tumblruser luciandloathing is actually fire as FUCK and life is beautiful and joyous

LMAO it's. it's ok. you don't gotta do that.

that's me omg I'm user luciandloathing???!!! :o wow I am 'fire as fuck?' oh! yea! yea! life if beautiful and joyous!

[fightaers]

i just read a TERRIBLE sakura slander i have to actually sit down oh my god

[meownotgood]

another 2,000 word writing day, it feels like I really might finish this soon...

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[lukasdoodles]

Misc doodles ft Disco, Aran, and Hondo as well as my gal Kaori hehe

[mars-ipan]

overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.

i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.

i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.

i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.

idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"