#reading Carmilla - going insane

[0nelittlebirdtoldme]

"You must come with me, loving me, to death; or else hate me and still come with me, and hating me through death and after. There is no such word as indifference in my apathetic nature."

Oh my goddddddd

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

aaanyway

[2ndstar-ontheright]

Chloe and Christine (or Madeline honestly) and hear me out, just hear me out for a moment,

as Carmilla and Laura.

[oooocleo]

theres a couple of books missing from here bc they didnt tile nicely but kicks my legs... reading log so far from the first half of 2024 🫡

i wanted to share my favourites out of the above as well:

carmilla by sheridan le fanu (the og vampire novella, somewhat archaic writing style but Way more lesbian than i was expecting, v evocative of those insane girlhood friendships one has growing up afab)

the goblin emperor by katherine addison (maia… the ultimate good boy truly trying his best to be a good ruler - i felt alternatively so bad for him and rly proud of the sentiment of kindness he embodied + gorg descriptions of the goblin/elf cultures)

empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo (novella; gorgeous poetic writing, like catching glimpses of an epic fantasy story but being Allowed to fill in a ton of it yourself.. rly tactile…also WAMEN and a sprinkle of lesbianism 🤌)

white is for witching by helen oyeyemi (magical realism prose which powerfully serves the unreliable narrator/psychological issues the protagonist has/seems to have + haunted house horror where the house is also in the characters after they leave.. i rly want to reread it already)

the dispossessed by ursula k le guin (anarchist socialist anticapitalist anti-prison anti-police theory beamed straight into my brain. made me want to move to the moon. actually nuanced in its depiction of issues in supposedly utopian societies)

annihilation by jeff vandermeer (delicious bio-horror.. weirdness abounds… really vivid pov/protagonist in the autistic broad shouldered biologist, imo very well crafted mystery but dont go in expecting to have all the answers at the end, thats Not The Point tm)

blood over bright haven by ML wang (sciona.... ur THE power hungry maniac academic ive been waiting for... this is a visceral fantasy that quite skillfully deals w gender & ethnic oppression w.o cheapening those issues for the (lowkey) romance's sake, a common gripe for me)

bride by ali hazelwood (just a freaking good time if uve been traumatized by abusive male leads ur supposed to like.. werewolf x vampire contemporary romance)

[lovesodakid]

shadows of the dark

matt sturniolo x reader

1 3 4 5

summary : growing up in the ‘middle of nowhere’ small town in lochcliff, colorado, stories were heard of multiple strange disappearances, murders, animal attacks, and more. when you were younger, you never paid attention to that stuff. now at the age of 17 it’s all you ever hear about. what happens when you realize those ‘stories’ you heard growing up, may not just be scary fairytales people tell their kids.

warning ⚠️ : contains mature themes, smut, gore (nothing insane), angst, etc. this warning is for all chapters.

(this does take some inspiration from tvd !)

chapter 2 : history & new kids

the sound of loud clapping causing the commotion of the students to quiet down as the assuming new teacher strides into the classroom. her black heels clicking across the white tiled floor below her.

“good morning everyone! i’m mrs. johnson, im so excited to work with you guys this year and welcome to your junior year of high school!” she exclaims enthusiastically.

“now why don’t we start with-”

she’s cut off by the sound of the classroom door opening, the hinges making an ear-raping scream cutting through the silence of the enclosed room.

“is this the language arts room?” the husky voice questions.

my eyes trail from mrs. johnson over towards the mysterious man in the doorway. starting at his pants, which are a pair of blue denim baggy jeans, his black shirt being halfway covered by the black leather jacket he’s paired it with.

until i catch a glimpse of his face. the same face we passed earlier this morning in the car. it’s almost as if he can sense me looking at him when that very second, his eyes snap over to mine. his blue piercing irises gazing into mine. his stare so distinct, i feel as though he can read every thought in my brain. i swear i even see his lips curving into a small smirk.

“yes! welcome! take a seat wherever you want, what’s your name first?” mrs. johnson’s voice interrupting whatever hypnotic state i was just in.

my eyes immediately shooting down to my desk in front of me, nervously picking at the wood.

“matthew. matthew sturniolo.” i hear his biker boots clatter against the floor, coming right beside me until he comes to a short lived halt. my body recognizing the feeling of his stare on the top of my head, until he continues his stride to a few seats behind me to my right.

“sturniolo?” she questions. “sturniolo as in…carmilla sturniolo?”

the sound of rough chuckles coming from behind me, causing my nerves to shiver. i’m not quite sure what kind of effect he has over myself, but i don’t know if i like it either. “yes ma’am.”

the town of lochcliff has its ‘respected’ family names. the blackwell’s, the whitlocks, steven’s, and more. they’re known to have helped in the founding of the town around 150 years ago. the sturniolo’s being one of those family’s. although, it has been rumored that 20 years ago, the last of the sturniolo bloodline was brutally murdered on his way to work one morning. but his body was never found, hence - rumors.

carmilla sturniolo was the first woman to ever be apart of the city hall’s council. back then, it wasn’t as easily as it is today for a woman to get a job like that. carmilla’s name has been passed around from mouth to mouth for years. her, going down in the towns historical records.

she was also rumored to have been murdered. or attacked by animals some say. no one really knows the full truth on what happened to carmilla sturniolo on that fateful night of october 21st 1898.

“well, it is so lovely to meet you matthew. i hope you will enjoy my class.” mrs. johnson says as she gives him a warm smile. “okay now, back to what you can expect this year.”

-

“have you seen that christopher sturniolo guy?” jayde’s enthusiasm laced voice asks from beside me.

the rest of first period, and then the whole of my second and third periods went by in a blur. as jayde and i now sit in our free period in her car in the schools parking lot, debriefing on how our days have been so far.

“no, his name is matthew.” i correct her as i take a handful of cheez itz i got out of the vending machine.

she quickly shakes her head back and forth. “no his name is christopher. he’s new. he’s a total babe and snack. dark brown hair, bright blue eyes. literally the epitome of my type.” she exhales.

my eyebrows crease i stare at her, clear confusion taking over my features.

“there’s a guy who looks exactly the way you described in my first period. and his last name is sturniolo, but his name is matthew.”

she begins…giggling?

“oh my god! what if they’re twins!” she shoots up excitedly.

“don’t you think it’s a little strange that these two guys - whom have the same last name that no one has even heard of anyone having in years, just..come out of nowhere?” i question her.

i watch her shrug, a strand of her black hair falling off of her shoulder as she does so. “not really. probably just moved away forever ago and just decided not to tell anyone, then move back.”

i slowly nod my head in agreement. “yeah maybe.” i grab another handful of the cheesy and salty snack, throwing them into my mouth.

“oh my god! look! there he is!” she shouts as she points to the entrance of the building.

i watch as a guy who looks eerily similar to matthew walking out. but instead of wearing blue jeans with a leather jacket - he’s wearing a plain white shirt with grey sweatpants and a beanie on.

i squint my eyes trying to get a better look at him, same facial features and all. minuscule differences here and there but overall, they look exactly alike.

i continue my staring at the strange man until i see the big blue doors open again behind him, this time, 2 more boys joining him on the sidewalk right outside the building.

matthew.

and another guy who looks like them?

“y/n! what the fuck? there’s three of them!” jayde’s voice screaming happily as she watches the same scene in front of us.

three?

a/n : sorry this is kind of short! i wanted to hurry and write the second part for funsies and cause im bored. hope this is okay😭 lmk if you like it !!

[instantdoodlez]

Jashtober Warmups

Bunch of (13) jash fanart with descriptions. Transferring them over from twitter because No. Sorry for not being active here for literally more than a year.

Day 1, Cosmic. Loosely based on the lines "and when Harmonia shines, atlas beholds her". Had a lot of fun with the warm colors and stuff, and Mr Jash reposted it! Which was both exciting, and just about gave me a heart attack.

Day 2, Videogame. Based on the shot with the ds in the Forest For the Trees. Mr Jash reposted this one too, which jumpscared me once again.

Day 3, Folklore. Went through like three separate drafts of this before settling on some kind of cryptid lookin fella. HSH's dlc came out on this day too, so I was really screwed for time.

Day 4, Hindsight. Not too much to note, except Eyes. Staring mf

Day 5, Instrument. First drawing I ever made based on the Ship of Theseus album, actually! Based on the second part, because.. Lyre.

Day 6, 20XX Inspired. Buff man, feat. me attempting to draw muscles. Must have not done too bad of a job, since Mr Jash liked it (third heart attack of the project /pos)

Day 7, Jashlings. This one was a bit rushed. When I heard "jashlings" I immediately thought of HMS, so I drew those three.

Day 8, Outfit Design. Soul wears the monster energy merch while Mind watches on in horror. Mr Jash liked this one as well, so that means this is canon now /j (Side note: this was entirely unintentional, but I had multiple people across different platforms tell me Mind looked like Veronica Sawyer from Heathers. And... yeah, I see it.)

Day nine, Duality. Should've titled it Feathers. Dear god, so many feathers. Also, yin and yang - ish.

Day ten, Compromise. Based on the hc that Jekyll and Hyde draw up a custody agreement for who controls the body when. Also, their eyes are the other one's primary color because I say so and it's cool theming.

Day 11, GW/Literature inspired. Carmilla, that scintillating sinner!

Day 12, Power Hour. Worked on this one for two days longer than I meant to, but it came out pretty damn nice imo. And it got Jash reposted, so I was extra going insane.

Day 13, Reinvention/self sacrifice. Did this one a few days late. The color pallette for the sixth Ship of Theseus album cover is so fucking pretty. Didn't do it justice, but I tried.

And that's it! All 13 (yes, I didn't do the "14: free space" one, ran out of time) Jashtober warmups. I'm going to be working on posting all the Jashtober prompts I've done so far in another post like this, then I'll just start posting one per day from then on. Thank you for reading all the way through if you have, have a good day/night/[applicable time]!

[spngirlpolls]

thank you yuri reading list

hello friends. recently i requested toxic yuri/violent lesbian media and everyone was SO NICE and sent me so much good stuff. thank you all of the generous anons (and extra special thanks to @shinelikethunder) it was really very kind of you all.

as a thank you, i figured i'd do my part and compile a list of toxic yuri/violent lesbian books for your reading pleasure. i read mainly horror/scifi so that impacts the contents of the list, limiting the scope to books i've read within the last year(ish). hopefully you find something new that piques your interest!

books i enjoyed:

lucky red by claudia cravens: a sapphic western set in a dodge city whorehouse fit with lesbian gunslingers to boot. yeehaw!

perfume and pain by anna dorn: an homage to 1950s lesbian pulp novels, a controversial los angeles lesbian author tries (and fails) to get her shit together. it's the worst lesbian you know making major life mistake after major life mistake all while being loud and wrong about everything.

an education in malice by s.t. gibson: a carmilla retelling set at a women’s college in the 1960s where carmilla and laura vie for the attention of their mysterious poetry professor. sexy. also check out a dowry of blood by this author if you are interested in a polyamorous dracula retelling.

merciless waters by rae knowles: a bloody novella about toxic yuri pirates. also sexy!

last to leave the room by caitlin starling: a scientist begins to crack under pressure when she is finds her doppelganger in her basement, and tries to keep it under wraps from her sexyscary supervisor. the scifi/horror stuff here was just okay for me but the YURI... i still think about you lachlan woodfield.

where echoes die by courtney gould: YA. girl travels to strange desert town to find the truth about her dead mother's mysterious medical "treatments". yuri is less toxic and more sweet teen stuff but the whole thing is weird enough so i'm including it

a dark and drowning tide by allison saft: academic rivals are forced to team up and solve a locked-room murder mystery whilst on a magical expedition with intense political stakes. gothic atmosphere, german folklore, jewish main character! this was my most anticipated release of the year. loved it. licked the plate clean.

the locked tomb series by tasmyn muir: lesbians. necromancy. space. insanity. please just read these fucking books.

books i didn’t love but maybe you will:

our wives under the sea by julia armfield: wife Comes Back Wrong from a mysterious submarine mission. marketed as horror but is actually just litfic. beautiful writing but just not for me.

hide by kiersten white: hide and seek game in abandoned amusement park for big money, but the bodies start piling up. felt very YA and also the yuri was backburner.

dykette by jenny fran davis: the worst lesbians you know go on christmas vacation together. messy but also annoying autofiction.

feel free to message me for more details about any of these. happy reading!

[6-atlas-6]

Vincent headcanons

- General + a bit of nsfw at the end -

(I had to put it under the cut shit got way too long)

When he first turned he did in fact try to turn into a bat before Will laughed and told him he couldn't (he was very sad)

In public events/spaces he literally just clings onto Lovely the whole time. It's not cause he's antisocial, he just doesn't like being too far away from them at any time

Vincent has Will help plan Lovely's birthdays which always results in them being extremely over the top

I've said this before but he loves vampire media and shit. He's read Dracula and Carmilla and the other classic vampire books like that and he absolutely loves them despite the inaccuracy

Yes he has seen castlevania, yes he adores it.

Him and Lovely always take baths/showers together. It's not a sexual thing either, they just like washing each other's hair

He doesn't own a single item of clothing in the color blue

He owns one of those fancy flowy robes. Yk the ones everyone associates with the movie wives that killed their husbands

Everyday he puts Lovely's pajamas in the dryer so that they're warm when they go to sleep

Mango flavored things are his favorite

Slow dancing with lovely in the middle of the day when they're both tired, should be asleep, and giggling up a storm before inevitably tripping over something and them both falling? I think yes.

Nsfw

MDNI blah blah anyways

Yes we get it he eats it like it's his last meal, but he definitely gets just as much (if not more) pleasure out of it than Lovely does

He always says he's gonna "punish" Lovely but he never actually ends up going through with it. As soon as he hears their beautiful voice begging for him inside of them he folds so quick

He gets incredibly turned on seeing Lovely aggressive or assertive. Imagine someone insulted Vincent or smth and Lovely yelled at them to defend him? He is internally (s)creaming

Bite him on the thigh. I dare you. He will moan so loud half of Dahlia could probably hear

When it comes to being dominant Vincent is definitely more gentle. He spends every second praising Lovely and telling them how good they are for him

When it comes to being submissive, this bitch wants anything but gentle. He wants them to wrap their hand around his neck and tell him how much of a slut he is while he holds onto the bed sheets for dear life

Body worship 100%. He adores how Lovely looks all the time but seeing them naked above/below him shaking in pleasure makes him go insane and he WILL vocalize all of those thoughts

Getting more into sub Vincent here but he's literally worshiping the ground lovely walks on at this point

He's begging, kissing up their leg, laying his head on their thigh whining and pleading up at them, everything

He would literally finish just from Lovely using his mouth without even touching himself

Anyways that's it for now

[manicpixieyandere]

A Textual Analysis of “Gothic Wh*re, or the Novel Lyric Hunt” by Chonny Jash

Hello! So we had to write a textual analysis of a song (so we did an entire album like insane people) for our English class so we figured we'd post it here because it was a lot of fun to write! Enjoy! (Also we had to censor it because Tumblr hates fun, sorry).

---

The Gothic Wh*re album by Chonny Jash plays on the idea that there are people othered by society just for being themselves. These groups mainly consist of queer and disabled people. Society others these people, treats them as monsters or madmen. This album chooses to highlight the monsters and tells its audience to embrace and celebrate those differences. Jash achieves this by using gothic horror as his inspiration and medium, mainly stories from the Victorian era. Every story chosen is one that features disabled characters and/or characters with queer coding. These songs focus on these supposed monsters.

The song titled “Intro” introduces the audience to the album. There is a mystery unnamed narrator who introduces the audience to the protagonists of the first two songs, those being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The intro takes the audience right into “The Ballad of Dr. Jekyll”. This song explores the character of Henry Jekyll from The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (1886). We see Jekyll’s internal moral battle about letting his alter ego Edward Hyde out. The song keeps in tact the reading of the original book that the potion Jekyll drinks is a metaphor for addiction. It also keeps that the Mr. Hyde personality isn’t so much a completely different person than Dr. Jekyll, but is the way Jekyll wishes he could be. This is referenced in the line “Is it worth the shift in countenance just to live how I’d like?” (Jash, 2023, verse 1). The song ends with Jekyll deciding to take his own life to rid the world of Hyde, this being how the original book also ends.

The next song is from Edward Hyde’s side of the story titled: “The Mr. Hyde Jive”. Hyde focuses more on desire. He initially taunts Jekyll pretending to be the scary monster Jekyll sees him as. He quickly drops that façade to more so talk about fulfilling his and Jekyll’s own desires. The song plays with the queer coding of Jekyll and Hyde. It is hinted at in the book that some of the “heinous” deeds Hyde commits is that of sleeping with men. Hyde goes on to say he is just the other side of Jekyll. Jash (2023, chorus) writes “For every Henrry in this world, there’s an Edward stuck behind”. This line refers to The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde being about human duality. We all have a side of us we may not be proud of as we are ashamed for it. Hyde tells us to embrace that desire every now and again, but to not go too far.

We move onto the “Wilhelmina Waltz”. This song covers Dracula by Bram Stoker (1897). The song is from the perspective of Dracula trying to court Wilhelmina (or just Mina). The song makes many references to Mina’s current marriage to Jonothan Harker. In the book Johnothan escapes Dracula’s castle, and as punishment Dracula tries to court his wife, Mina. The “Wilhelmina Waltz” is about Dracula’s feelings for Mina as she undergoes her vampire transformation. Near the end of the song the character Renfield warns Mina to not let Dracula too close as “he’ll abuse you, he’ll misuse you, he’ll raise Hell on Earth to subdue you. Till not even death can undo you” (Jash, 2023, verse 4). The common reading of Renfield and Dracula’s relationship is that of a toxic romance. Renfield means well in his warning to Mina but dies for it.

Keeping in theme with vampires, we transition over to “A Syrian Rhapsody”. Based on the novella Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (1872). The song explores how in the original novella vampirism was used as a metaphor for lesbianism between the characters Carmilla and Laura and how immoral it was. Jash (2023) states “Fables label. She the Vampyr” to explain how in his opinion Carmilla was never really a vampire, just a lesbian. She was labeled a vampire to warn others of the so called dangers and sin of homosexuality. The song ends with saying Carmilla will not wilt from the hate of others and will rise on higher.

We enter "The Monster’s Lament” based on Frankenstein or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelly (1818). The song starts out with simple wording that evolves over time, showcasing how the monster originally had to teach himself English throughout the story. The monster talks about his self hatred and feelings on his creator, Victor Frankenstein abandoning him for his looks. The monster expresses his plans to kill his creator and make him suffer just as he had. This shows one of the readings of the original book, that Victor was the monster’s father who abandoned and abused him. By torturing Victor, the monster continues that cycle of abuse.

Next is the mouth full title “An Elegy for One Roderick Usher, or ‘The Haunted Palace”. This song is about “The Fall of the House of Usher” by Edgar Allen Poe (1839). The narrator of the album is revealed to be the protagonist of “The Fall of the House of Usher”, he remains nameless just like in the original story. The song is a mix of a retelling of “The Fall of the House of Usher” but also uses “The Haunted Palace” by Edgar Allen Poe (1839) directly as the verses sung by Roderick Usher. The narrator is there to comfort his friend Roderick as his sister is ill and dies. She has a condition that makes her corpse appear alive and well “Such I’ve heard is the irony of the cataleptic’s rue” (Jash, 2023, verse 8). The house reflects the mental state of Roderick Usher. A popular reading is that Roderick has schizophrenia, that is why his imagination and what happens in the house reflects his paranoia. The narrator tries to read his friend a story, but all of the sound effects from the story echo into real life. As Roderick’s sister appears alive, she comes back to life and kills her brother. Once they are both dead the narrator escapes and the house crumbles. The narrator closes out by reciting the rest of “The Haunted Palace” as Roderick is dead.

The “Interlude” states that was it for the main event, the main event being gothic horror. Instead, we now transition into books of different genres. First being a song titled: “Dead Man’s Sea Shanty” which is about Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson (1883). The song follows young Jim Hawkins, and his recount of the events of the novel. In the story Jim Hawkins acquires a crew to hunt for treasure but Long John Silver is secretly planning a mutiny. Hawkins recounts his attempt to steal back the ship solo and how that fails. He is captured by Long John’s crew. Luckily, he met a stranded sailor, Ben Gunn who saves him and locates the treasure. Hawkins also puts his differences aside with Long John when his crew plans to mutiny him as well. On their way back to Britan they sing the song present throughout the chorus but that also originates from Treasure Island “Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest…” (Stevenson, 1883, chapter 34). Jash also adds his own interpretation at the end. The outro is taken directly from the preamble of Treasure Island. It starts with Hawkins reading it who then fades out into the narrator, here to introduce our final story.

The penultimate song is “Ode of the Cog” based on 1984 by Geroge Orwell (1994). The song follows Winston Smith as he falls in love with Julia. 1984 takes place in a totalitarian society where there is such a thing as “thought crime”. You must believe what the party wants you to believe, marry who they say you marry. That is what makes Winston’s love of Julia dangerous. The party in question is Big Brother. They catch both Winston and Julia and torture them both. Their methods of that are a more intense version of the brainwashing they use on the general public, being titled “doublespeak”. Jash (2023, bridge) shows this by using samples proclaiming the following lines “War is peace. The law of gravity is nonsense. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.” And most famously “Two plus two is five”. The idea of two plus two being five is the specific phrase Winston is tortured into believing. The book and song end up taking a major diversion from each other. In the book Winston is tortured into loving Big Brother. In the song Winston is shot and killed by Big Brother, but before he dies, he has his last moment of rebellion. Winston has an uplifting monologuing proclaiming humanity will eventually rise up and that history cannot be rewritten. His final sung words are “Two plus two is four” (Jash, 2023, verse 8).

A sample of Julia from the 1984 movie adaptation (Michael Radford 1984) saying “I’m corrupt to the core” seamlessly transitions into a crowd screaming “encore!”. The narrator decides to indulge the audience with an encore to wrap up the album. The song is a cover of the “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett (1962). The song features the narrator showing the audience around a gothic party with all the protagonists of the songs and their plus ones. The song features many references to the original books while also celebrating the differences of the characters that were perhaps not celebrated at the times these books were published. Frankenstein’s monster names himself Adam. Mina dances with Carmilla, alluding to both of them having close relations to another woman in their own stories (Carmilla with Laura and Mina with her friend Lucy). Hawkins allows himself to have fun with this odd group and Winston celebrates being free. The narrator raises a toast with each main character toasting to what is important to them. Jash (2023, verse 6) does a voice for each character while also playing their respective motifs. “To mighty adventure” Jim Hawkins, “To love” Dracula, “To lust” Carmilla, “To fury” Adam, “To the proles” Winston Smith, “To Vice” Edward Hyde. The narrator finishes with “Let us damn the fools that refuse to have fun! Let us sing as all, and let us dance as one!”. Jash is telling the audience here that it is ok to feel and embrace those things. He even ends with the original line from the “Monster Mash” telling the audience the mash was meant for them too.

Jash tells a compelling story while perfectly incorporating rhetorical devices such as pathos, logos, and ethos. Jash uses the othering of the monsters to invoke sympathy and feelings towards them, thus creating pathos. By using such old established literature from the Victorian era Jash uses this to his advantage to establish logos. The ethos is present in each voice Jash does. With his incredible voice work and immersive music it feels as if the characters are really talking to the audience (or rather, singing). All of this combined has the audience hooked and not only accepting of the monsters, but maybe of themselves and others as well.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/27/2024

this is the longest ive ever been unemployed and media is only doing so much to beat back the horrors. so let’s talk about the media instead of the horrors

listening

Come Up For Air by We The Commas, off i think one of the autogenerated spotify indie mixes?

sort of a rollicking modern little surf rock thing, they describe themselves as "surf and alternate rhythm and blue" which is pretty bang on imo. they're all brothers (their last name genuinely is Comma, which i salute as a fellow weird last name haver), and cite john mayer (i don't really hear it) and the beach boys (yes i hear this very much) as some of their influences. a song i had on loop for an entire forty minute drive and did not get tired of. spotify

-

reading

three books that MUST go back to the library tomorrow bc their autorenew is up and i was emotionally unable to get a library card without tooling around and getting a stack of books a month ago.

thank you philip.

i really only liked the Carmilla adaptation by Amy Chu, bc it really gets at what i didn't realize was the heart of the original 1872 lesbian vampire novella: a toxic gay housing situation you have fallen into and can't get out of bc your area is so so so expensive and housing is so so so tenuous. i have read the original but not in a while, this is an excellent modern adaptation centering around a nyc social worker in the late seventies that presupposes no knowledge and intertwines the original novella in the form of a stolen rare book. (nonconsecutive pages)

i don't have much to say about the DC young adult comic about the circus career of one of the Robins (Dick Grayson). i didn't love the loose artstyle and am not in its intended age range plus it had a bit too much therapyspeak, but it did have a clever use of a very limited color palette.

let's yank the amazon description for the detective novel, which i grabbed bc it vaguely pinged something in my brain about one of the fallout 4 sidequests and i've picked books up for worse reasons (SPOILERS):

Jacob Rigolet, a soon-to-be former assistant to a wealthy art collector, looks up from his seat at an auction—his mother, former head librarian at the Halifax Free Library, is walking almost casually up the aisle. Before a stunned audience, she flings an open jar of black ink at master photographer Robert Capa’s “Death on a Leipzig Balcony.” Jacob’s police detective fiancée, Martha Crauchet, is assigned to the ensuing interrogation. 

i simply fucking hated this authorial style and tone and ditched it two chapters in. i don’t currently have the patience for reading about a clinically insane mother and hate crimes against Jewish people. despite the fairly dark premise, the first two chapters veer into cozy mystery with very short sentences, which do not a noir make. now, it does not advertise itself as noir or neo-noir, but as an homage to noir. it is for me unbearably smug. in my most unkind heart of hearts i want to say it's like if wes anderson tried to make a noir. this is a book that wants you to know it has read other noirs. yes thank you ive read several others, that’s why im reading this one, stop reminding me of better books i could be reading.

there's some weird descriptions of womens' bodies in here. chandler (my beloved) is certainly guilty of this as well, but he lavishes a sort of equal opportunity eye on the men in his mysteries. cf the infamous daniel lavery description.

when i read a chandler description of someone’s physical appearance there’s a fruity bisexual aftertaste in my mouth. Howard Norman, below, saying a woman takes great care of herself puts my hackles up. i understand the difference between an author and a character believing something and i don’t want to read a book where either the author or the character have this sort of pitying condescension towards a woman’s body. im feeling extremely terrible about my own body right now due to the various maladies, and another sort of breaking point for me is when an author repeatedly describes "naked breasts" (exact wording) pressing against someone's torso. it feels so juvenile. that's the sexiest thing you can possibly think of??? that's the sexiest way you can think of to describe an early mornign moment of intimacy???? augh i read the NYT review and it gets worse.

shut the FUCK up. i left my apartment at 1130 PM to go put this book in my CAR. i don't want it in my HOUSE.

-

watching

Bullitt (1968, dir. Yates, free on Tubi). the baddie in this is Robert Vaughn (who i know from cowboys), a guy i fucking love to see. i can take or leave Steve McQueen but he does such a killer job parallel parking in this movie and i wish all driving movies made their leads parallel park. shockingly realistic hospital, morgue, and police work scenes, apparently was one of the big films to popularize blood squibs. also love to see a haunted man splash water on his face and stare into a mirror.

if you asked me how long the famous car chase was i would have said like 2:30? substantial but snappy. no!!! eleven minutes!! (video a bit trimmed). also a rare movie that makes a foot chase through an airport as exciting as that eleven minute car chase!!!

the mob dodging plot was a little hard to follow, but i was operating on like four hours of sleep and a rum and coke. this has got to be a tremendous movie to watch when you’re home and sick on the couch huddled under a blanket. i mean this as a compliment, as someone who watches Escape from New York whenever i feel very sick

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playing

really wanted to get to 69 shrines before writing this post and finally did it. all the little divine beasts walking along the loading screen are SO cute i've never gotten all four before

all the divine beasts are unlocked and the champions laid to rest! im feeling some type of way emotionally speaking about all of them telling link IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't his or zelda's fault they died

rudania has the worst boarding mission (in order of ones i most enjoyed it's camel [SO fast and SO fun], bird [lots of time to think and plan and aim], elephant [did not make me do a tedious stealth mission but i am bad at locking on to rapidly moving things behind me, much like in real life], and lizard. the lizard stealth mission is simply unpleasant). however, my brain really clicked with the puzzles in rudania: i had to consult a walkthrough once for an optional chest. in order of interior beast puzzle enjoyment for me it's lizard, bird, elephant, and camel. really got stuck for a long time on the waterwheels with the elephant before consulting a walkthrough.

the yiga clan stealth mission was not as hard as i thought it would be. i don't know why i put that off for two real life weeks but i will not learn my lesson and i will never improve. this boss battle was just silly.

the vah naboris interior puzzles were not fun. idk what it was about them or my brain that made me have such a bad time, but i spammed revali's gale and skipped a lot of chests bc i was not having fun. this is why god invented the walkthrough but sometimes. shit is just too fiddly.

i did succeed on the thunder ganon boss battle first try, but i came in with extra hearts from mipha's grace, used another mipha's grace in the fight, went through five fairies and seven hearty simmered fruits that were 5x durians (which gives you 20 extra hearts or some shit). fucking nightmare. i was stuck on one hit left on ganon for like five minutes bc he got stuck in the very fast flurry attack cycle. unpleasant. deeply grateful it only made me smack him with the magnesis pillar once bc that was also really fiddly with my poor reaction time + poor fine motor skills + previously mentioned ancient controller with some drift. in order of boss battle enjoyment i think it's lizard (made me think and kept me on my toes a little but i did have to look up how to break the shield), elephant (you can just kind of tank it), bird (same), and camel (extremely not fun).

this was WITH a fully upgraded gimp suit btw. that shit (ganon) just hits hard.

shrine shenanigans:

crowned beast very fun, i have one or two of kass' songs left and then i hope i get to see him back in rito village with his family??? a little nervous bc i went right to the jungle spring without hearing his song first so idk if that will. count??? or softlock me.

the MOUNDS of failed cooking attempts around this shrine on the grasslands side of the gerudo barrier mountains were SO funny.

unlocked all the spring shrines. what a fun mission. what a fun climb.

went to my FAVORITE shrine!!! going into what you think will be a normal cave and discovering it is DEEP with a BIG WHALE INSIDE is top three video game whale moments (the other two are diving with the whales in ABZU and meeting the last whale in the first dishonored).

other bits and bobs:

eggman rocks???

this quest was really cute and i wish there was a corresponding quest for the guy hanging around the broken heart pond, but it always makes me laugh whenever a dragon shows up in the background of a screenshot. a really great touching moment but watch out for the elemental orbs rapidly approaching us

also made me chortle. get it together barta.

i wish the helm was upgradable but i think making me kill a molduga in order to borrow it is a pretty fair trade actually.

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making

i originally had a really long thing here about litterbox trials and tribulations but i have decided to spare you all. you're welcome.

many balcony improvements, including putting up trellises and installing bird spikes to hopefully keep a very persistent orange tom off my balcony and away from my girls.

there are a goofy number of obstacles in the way of me making a proper planting diagram (sketchbooks buried deep in closet. flung the seeds in a box on a shelf i need to find my stepstool for. can't find pencil sharpener) so for the second week in a row that's not happening. however, sprouts.

baby italian lettuce blend

bush beans in the front and cucumbers + sweet peas in the back.

[beevean]

I think I have finally managed to put together one of the biggest issues with NFCV: it's pretentiously intellectualist and snob.

the whole tone is grimdark serious, with the exception of some crass jokes.

the world is divided into "cultured" people (the vampires) and "ignorant" people (the humans).

In general, there is little love for humanity as a whole in a show inspired by a series where the strength of humanity is the core of it.

Vampires Are Better Than You because they don't lose their culture (read: human culture that gets lost through the ages. It's not even their culture lmao)

CHURCH BAD not because they have a massive amount of power easily abusable, but because they're ignorant and believe in stupid supernatural God stuff that stifles the Real Science.

Dracula's best redeeming quality is not being a family man. It's being a Man of Science™, with a Castle of Science™ instead of an eldritch location for a home. It's why Lisa went to him to learn, and why Isaac thinks he should serve and protect him. It's also the main reason Alucard expresses sorrow at the idea of having to kill his father: not emotional attachment, but disappointment that the CHURCH BAD had to make him use his genius for evil.

In S2, few characters focus on the sheer evil of wanting to destroy mankind for the sins of few. Much more focus is put on how stupid and insane and irrational and shortsighted Dracula is for not thinking ahead. His downfall is caused by him not being smart enough to care about the state of the council and Carmilla's real intentions.

When Dracula mocks Lisa and says that she only "wants to daub chicken blood on peasants", she herself scoffs at the idea of being seen as a witch - she's a doctor, thank you, she's superior to the ignorant masses.

Her last words are not "Alucard, don't harm humans because their life is already hard enough/those who hate humans walk down the path of their own destruction". It's "Dracula, don't harm humans because you're better than them". Not compassion: superiority.

Most of the dialogue is just talking about stuff for the sake of talking, with the pretense of being Deep and Nuanced. When you break it down, however, very little of it is actually deep ("My devotion has been a matter of interrogation for some years, and the reparation of my heart is far away")

The Speakers are portrayed as inferior unless they can do magic. Their oral and nomad culture is scoffed on, Sypha herself decides that it's actually stupid, and Alucard goes so far as insult her entire heritage when he's stuck in the castle ("one day I will go back to live with my flea-bitten family in a cart, which makes me better than everyone")

Alucard (who, as a reminder, is a "biracial" prince who identifies more with the "elite" species) also keeps insulting the Belmont clan in a way that implies that they do "stupid", gross magic stuff and that's what makes them worthy of mockery ("I imagine one sacrifices a chicken, and divines the location of the book you want from the intestines")

Isaac is portrayed as an introspective, intellectual man, which makes his misanthropy and pettiness okay. He never fully realizes that people deserve to live, he only decides that he deserves to live, that he wants to do something constructive with his life, which would be nice if he also remembered that he has gallons of blood on his hands. The story gives him everything he wants on a silver platter, and portrays him as Cool and Intelligent and Deep.

Hector is portrayed as a stupid manchild for his affinity for animals, despite S2 showing him as being the only one willing to do something to unite the council. The story frequently and harshly punishes him for being too "trusting", and not for his callous culling plan - he never grows up morally, but his Big Redeeming Moment is becoming as underhanded as those who hurt him.

In fact, S3's major moral is exactly "you're a fool if you see good in people": Alucard gets nearly killed for growing attached to the Japanese not-twins, Hector is humiliated for believing Lenore cared about him, and Trevor literally says this to a heartbroken Sypha (and you're supposed to feel sorry for Isaac when the guards don't let him and his demons through). S4 has a happier tone, but it does little to go against this moral.

It really is the embodiment of r/im14andthisisdeep.

[beangusu]

Please please please share your reinako fic recommendations! I absolutely adore all your art of them 💗

THANK U SO MUCH <3 AND OMG I HAVE SO MANY... u have unlocked my reinako fic floodgates but i will try to be normal and keep it to like 5-10 recs

just a warning, two of these have nsfw in them (In The Corner of Her Mind and Heartfelt Obligation) but are skippable!

In The Corner of Her Mind - this ones an oldie but i read it time and time again bc it breaks my heart in the BEST way possible especially since its set in the PGSM universe :'D if u want an amnesia reinako au fic, this one ticks all the boxes Point Not Taken - also a really old fic, but oh my god Victoria G's fics make me kick my feet and giggle and knowing they were a co-writer for the Carmilla web-series just makes so much sense bc i was obsessed with hollstein..... pls read their reinako fics they make me wanna throw up (affectionate) Through the Fire (Through Whatever, Come What May) - this one's not finished yet but the way the author writes the reinako dynamic is SO THEMMMM 🥰🥰 i adore when people write the reinako dynamic just right and this fic hits that spot for me red on my tongue (the red of your tongue) - i am so obsessed with fics that are abt present reinako finding out abt love affairs between silver millennium mars & venus which either cue their realization moment or push them to confess :3 this one has to be my fav out of all of YNK’s reinako fics, it made me tear up so bad at some parts like they are so Soulmates it makes me insane. pls read all of YNK's reinako fics after this i promise u wont regret it Heartfelt Obligation - ofc i had to link the mandatory princess/bodyguard au set in the silver millennium where they dislike each other at first but then slowly start catching feelings :33 it's incomplete but i love the silly banter and how they warm up to each other in this fic, its so cute 🥺 i like the burning sun (because i'm running with you) - small oneshot thats also so cute where they're just normal teens with crushes on each other,,, minako is so whipped for rei and rei is so stupid god bless

She's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire - the gay yearning in this one is so UNBELIEVEABLY off the charts it's so sweet and fills that slice of life highschool trope hole if u like that!! minako does get stoned in this one, not during the whole fic, but i figured i would warn anyways in case that makes anyone uncomfy Past Loves And Current Problems - ending this with this cute fic of minako finding out about greek mythology regarding mars and venus being lovers teehee ^_^ this fic also talks about ace's "curse" on venus from the codename sailor v manga AND I LOVE THAT i wish more fics talked abt that.... i have so so so many more i want to talk about and show everyone but i feel bad for this wall of text so i will leave that for a pt2/pt3 in the future mayb... i am filled with reinako brainrot and its never going away im so sorry u guys 💔

[blazeismyname]

Ok. Okokokok... listen

Peter. Whet if. He was orphan. Nothing tragic happened to his parents. They just honestly didn't want him, and he really never knew them, so he literally does NOT care. But he was a troublemaker and very much over look compared to the other kids. Most of them were adopted off to loving families, and he just watched. He really didn't care, but subconsciously, that gave him the desire to have a nice loving family, too.

And perhaps we can continue to play with the idea that he was taught to be a housewife with this. Maybe the orphanage taught these classes for the boys and girls. The boys were taught to be strong and to provide while the girls were taught to be housewives. And Peter, being so gods damned confident in himself and so gods damned unphased by trivial (to him) shit literally did not care and took that shit with stride. He learned to cook and clean and take care of children and sew and do the laundry. Then, he taught himself how to be tough and reach masculine standards. He is the most driven person in town and he works HARD..... (I have a favorite)

And let's expand on Jesse. Jesse was a directionless prince. Sat around, read the same books, bossed people around, and absolutely bored himself to death. He was an only child, his mother and father finding content in having exactly one child. He wasn't even excited to become king because what the fuck was he going to do then? Sit on a throne or whatever an act pissy? No aspirations or anything until Peter showed him that there's more to see. There's people to meet and new stories to hear as well as more things to do. It was revolutional for him, and he became fascinated with people. Their stories, their origins, their culture. Sure, the social awkwardness he had obtained from being alone so long didn't help in the slightest. But he still wanted to know more beyond the castle walls and Peter always helped with that. (His insane interest in knowing people probably helped with his willingness to take in Carmilla and everyone)

Then, then let's talk about dear sweet Lizzie. Gods, there's so much to know about her. Possibly, her father had a job that brought her around a lot. And every night, without fail, her dad would drink himself blind. He thought of alcoholism as his only escapism from his poor life of moving around. On days he had off, Lizzie's dad would take her out to "go be men." She resented this, obviously, knowing she was a girl. She couldn't say anything since they had proven to be very transphobic and homophobic. So she went along with it.

She tries to show love for everyone even if it's very clear that they won't return it. Show kindness to the world, and nothing bad can happen is her core value. Clearly, she would be wrong once her mom was beaten to death in front of her, and she had to flee.

She very much enjoys reading, which was probably seen as weird for those who knew she was a girl (going based on beauty and the beast). She especially likes books that were logs of animals and bugs and plants. But a good story was never lost on her. Her father was quite disappointed in this, taking the book straight from her hands and throwing it, oftentimes destroying her books. It was just an issue she had to deal with.

Especially on Jesse and Lizzie ends, there's a lot more fleshing out to be had. What're we thinking here???

[hhighkey]

this week is gonna be so insane (asides from BLAH going back to office after 3 weeks) bc new ethel album??? perverts out the 8th,, new season of my happy marriage the 6th AND new season of apothecary diaries the 10th???? those will be the only things that get me through the week

(and started the dracula pipeline aka read carmilla and am now reading dracula. all to prepare myself with the proper media to watch the new nosferatu lmao)

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

(Sorry if there’s bad grammar lmao, I didn’t proofread this)

I just thought about this while watching disventure camp(fanmade series inspired by tdi)

Camp Hellanizer au(based on tdi and disventure camp but mainly disventure camp)

Camp Hellanizer is a Reality TV show that takes place in the Enferna Forest, hosted by co hosts Adam and Sera(with sera being the more logical and rational one(she rarely decides the challenges) and Adam being more chaotic and insane)

Although you might as well say Adam hosts it alone since sera rarely does anything(she often lets Adam do everything).

All the contestants are around 14-25(exception is nifty(8) and Suzan(35))and there are 16 characters:

Charlie, Vaggie, Angel dust, Husk, Alastor, Niffty, Vox, Velvette, Valentino, Rosie, Mimzy, Suzan, Sir Pentious, Cherry Bomb, Carmilla, Zestial.

Lute is the bus driver and the lunch lady(the meals she makes are somewhat disgusting on purpose) and Emily is one of the interns(but the safest one since Adam can’t risk killing Emily bc he would face sera’s wrath if he did)

There are 2 teams(they change later on):

Rehabilitating Roadkill(Red):

Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Sir Pentious, Velvette, Cherry Bomb, Niffty, Rosie

Violent Voices(Violet):

Vox, Angel Dust, Valentino, Alastor, Mimzy, Suzan, Carmilla, Zestial

(All of them have never met each other)

Slight Spoilers for disventure camp season 1

Before any challenges started, they were given a day to socialize with each other, after that they were told to immediately vote someone out(Angel Dust and Velvette were “voted out”) and then plot twist(like in disventure camp), they actually infact swapped teams, so Angel dust went to the red and Velvette went to violet, and a few eps later, Alastor and Sir Pentious were voted out, and actually swapped teams like Angel dust and velvette did, and shortly before the merge, same thing happened with Carmilla and Cherry Bomb.

Before alastor swapped teams, Vox and Alastor were genuinely good Allies and had made an alliance to not vote each other out(which Vox later on ignored in favor of Val and velvette). And Valentino and Angel dust also made an alliance(a very toxic one) and even after Angel swapped, they kept the alliance going until angel had enough of Valentino later on in the series(which caused Valentino to be voted out lmao). Cherry bomb and sir pentious fell in love during the merge but Charlie and Vaggie did basically at the start, Vox and alastor were genuinely a healthy relationship before the game started to take a toll on Vox and the other vees(they made an alliance then betrayed alastor, made huskerdust break up(they got back together) poisoned Rosie so she would get voted out, abused angel dust and sir pentious, and so much more later on)(There was so much fucking drama it was insane)

The final 3 were Vox, Alastor and Charlie

Also don’t be disappointed that Suzan was there, she went home first :3 (after velvette and angel dust)

- Some random anon who’s never asked here before

This is very entertaining to read, I've never seen the fan series but I love TDI

[gabrielisdead]

Maybe my followers don't know that actually I'm a huge fan of comics, my favourite genres are -you guessed it- horror, supernatural and drama. Usually, I read stuff on Tapas or download where I can, but I have some physical copies as well, my favourite comic book artist is Mike Mignola.

I have made way too many short stories and sketches in the past for my own amusement, but currently there's only 2 projects going on, a queer vampire tale inspired after Carmilla, and a sci-fi drama with my favourite mad scientists from gothic lit going insane.