#re. arc ↳ judgement day

[erad1cator]

@s-unfleur ( tama ) : ❛ i'm the asshole? what does that make you then? ❜

◤ ⸸ 𝗕 𝗥 𝗨 𝗧 𝗔 𝗟 𝗜 𝗧 𝗬 ⸸ ◢      a roll of ocean eyes before she focuses her attention on the tongan . this whole changing of guards in the bloodline is enough to bring on a migraine . she prides herself in knowing every goddamn thing that happens before it happens and having surprise changes in the roster ? it doesn't sit well with her . " queen bitch . and i expect the respect that goes with it . how difficult is it to explain how and why you ended up here ? you're not truly part of the bloodline . you're just as honorary as zayn was . so why do you walk around here like you own the fucking place ? "

[ruinreigns]

@godsdefied ( liv ) sent : ❛ how can i possibly trust you? after all you’ve done. ❜

" oh , yeah ... just let yourself in and pretend that i'm the one who can't be trusted . " eyes roll as fingers trace the title slung over her shoulder . she doesn't even deign to give live a glance her way . she's tired of this . tired of being the one who takes the fall , the one to be blamed when anything goes wrong with the weaker women on the roster . if they were afraid of being injured , maybe they shouldn't step to the champion when she had already proven that she was not a woman to be fucked with . " you know it was never about you , right ? you were an obstacle , a road block . just like every other woman in the locker room . it was never personal until you made it personal sitting at home and letting you get in your own head . "

rhea pauses before tossing her belt onto the couch , quickly following to drop onto the cushions , feet propped on the table in front of her . " you can't blame me if your body can't take the heat . instead of coming in her to cry about it , you should be in the gym doing whatever you need to to make sure it doesn't happen again . but no ... the great liv morgan feels so entitled to everything , she just breaks into the champs locker room and makes demands . " arms cross and she finally drags her gaze to meet the smaller woman's eyes . " i'm the most trustworthy person on this roster . you know why ? because i mean it when i say i'll do anything it takes to get to the top and stay there . "

[holmsister]

I think one of the things Dungeon Meshi is definitely about is how different people deal with being an outsider/marginalised/neurodivergent/what have you and basically what im getting at is that Kabru is TEXTBOOK "high functioning [insert diagnosis here]". Its that how they say it still? Don't care.

Basically. This man shows up and you listens to him talk and see how his party treats him and you think. Oh this is a cool guy who has his shit together. And then after like two pages you find out that he has constant flashbacks to Utaya that make him completely freeze, anxiety attacks, thought spirals, is incapable of analyzing his own feelings, is a stuttering mess when the stakes are high, has never done a chore in his life, keeps putting himself in triggering situations and re-traumatising himself, and the icing on the cake is when you read the extra material and it turns out he regularly forgets to eat and lives in a depression nest of dirty clothes and self-medicates insomnia with alcohol and also is 22. Which also kind of puts Misilril not wanting to let him go in another light - yeah for sure she's controlling and infantilising and also its not like she was really helping his issues but also she was not entirely wrong in her judgement. This man does NOT know how to take care of himself. He knows how to do the bare minimum so when he shows up at work the next day he can fool his coworkers into thinking hes got it together enough. For a bit.

He is DEEPLY unwell and he knows it but he is carried by the desperate wish to avoid another catastrophe. If he stops for a moment he KNOWS he'll collapse so he doesn't.

I also think this is why him acting nurse to Mithrun is such an important part of his arc. Its like. This person who has spent all of his adult life focused on a single objective disregarding everything else is faced with what happens when you do that for too long. And the result is a wet tissue of a creature who looks like he doesn't know where he is most of the time.

He is a man on the brink. I have no doubt he felt relieved when he decided he could trust Laios - not even in a Labru way, straight up because he knew he could not keep going like this.

But also like. Of all the characters in the manga, I think Senshi and Kabru are the most lonely ones. Except Senshi seems to be OK with solitude - for sure it's not entirely healthy to be alone for as long as he was but he definitely did well enough. He is very good at taking care of himself. Meanwhile Kabru *knows* a lot of people but can you really say he has friends? Rin, maybe, arguably, but even she does not seem to truly know him, you know? He keeps himself hidden from everyone. I think the only time we see him entirely honest is when he says to Laios that he wanted to be his friend, and hes so shocked when it comes out, you can tell he did not mean to say it. And differently from Senshi, he does NOT fare well alone. He likes people, he needs people. Again compare with Mithrun - he has like a squad of people taking care of him. If Kabru had a breakdown of that size can you say his party would go out of its way to help? Im not sure. Not because they're bad people, but because he's simply not that intimate with any of them.

Idk man it just struck me all of a sudden. Laios is weird and offputting and doesn't care about other humans the way Kabru does and YET he is infinitely more successful at building deep, meaningful relationships and taking care of himself as well. I think this is part of why Kabru is so fascinated with him as well. He can tell Laios has something he doesn't have. Wait this is turning into a whole another post I'll write this next time.

[karouvas]

Pleas elaborate on that challengers au??? Obsessed rn

So I’m going to properly get to working on this once the next chapter of “Reading TRB” is up and once I can rewatch the movie to develop the ideas more but I’ll just type up some of my brainstorming / thoughts and post it here rn!

— basically a Challengers au where Gansey is Art, Blue is Tashi and Adam is Patrick. Was discussing with a few other people and I think Adam could also potentially be a Tashi but that fits more for a Rodansey au which would also slap if someone wants to write it but I’m going for the Bluedansey version because I was in major brain rot over them over my last reread. 

— so the set up of Gansey and Adam meeting in high school is similar just without the other chars as factors (Ronan might still show up in the fic but if he does it’ll be the timeline where they’re older he won’t have known them in high school). With Gansey still the rich golden boy and Adam as the scholarship student and them having an unlikely really close and intense friendship.

— I’ll actually have tennis be something Adam picked up for kind of mercenary reasons he needed an elective + he wanted to spend time with Gansey kind of in the way he goes along with the Glendower quest for Gansey. But then it was noticed that he’s really good at it and Adam would capitalize on that and use it as a way he can get out of Henrietta even if at first he thought that would be through his book smarts. He does also grow to love tennis but isn’t fully cognizant of that the way he struggles to understand love in the series (his relationship with tennis follows a similar path to his relationship to magic in the books basically, arc wise). 

— Even though I know it is canon in the books that he’s Captain of the rowing team I have the hardest time jockifying Gansey in my mind because suuuuch a fucking neerd (affectionate) I’ll keep some of his nerdy interests obv but trying to redirect my perception of him overall for this. Taking a bit of inspiration from my friend Kevin Day for this re: balancing the jock-nerd. But I think playing sports professionally to him is partially going to be his escape from being just like his father / living the life his family wants for him, while also being more passably acceptable in the eyes of his family than some other things he could pursue, as well as being something he genuinely loves. 

— enter Blue she meets them at a tournament beginning of college like in the movie, she  comes from a small town like Adam but will change it to her being from a different state still in the south. I am keeping her background of being raised by the psychics of 300 fox way and Maura will be an active character in the later part of the fic/movie, but for her tennis is her something more in a sense and when she finds that she doesn’t want to give it up. But at same time she’s sensible as much as she has big dreams, so she still wants to go to school and have other skills besides going pro also I think getting into tennis would have in some ways accentuated the bullying/judgement she got from her peers in high school, and then once she proved herself to be good there also would have been elevated respect but I think that effects her whole superiority-inferiority thing, it doesn’t change her general mo with new people and she’s still quite isolated and lonely (more so than in canon since she didn’t meet the Gangsey in hs), but I think a bit more.. actively trying to be seen as socially acceptable with specifically professional situations. I also kind of want a plot point to have to do with how her style changed when she got into tennis and navigating expectations of her style related to her profession, which will be interesting for continuing the pursuit of looking on the outside as you are on the inside theme from the books. 

—Oh and even though the 300 fox ladies are still psychics there’s no kiss curse involved so I do think this version of Blue has had a couple boyfriends and a girlfriend, none of them were serious relationships because her priority was tennis and she’s a prickly babe but I do think this could change her relationships with the boys in interesting ways, especially Blue x Adam tbh because so much of how it plays out in canon is influenced by it being both their first relationship… 

— I do think that it’ll be better for me and my writing process to write this chronologically rather than bouncing between the timelines the way the movie does, and I’m definitely going to use all three perspectives so we’ll see what feels right at different times but I think I’m going to start with Adam pov, the first switch to Gansey pov will be in the breakfast Tashi-Art scene (which is a super tdt era Bluesey coded scene imo but anyway), Blue’s injury is from her pov and maybe some going back and forth between her and Gansey’s povs for a bit in the middle, then I want to weight the second timeline to mostly Blue pov and some Adam I’ll see if another Gansey pov fits in there or not. But obviously will play it by ear this is just what I’m thinking rn.

— for the relationship dynamics: when it comes to the college years the dynamic structures are already pretty similar imo which is a big part of why I wanted to write it particularly the dynamic circa the Dream thieves of Gansey going back and forth between Blue and Adam’s sides of the relationship drama then getting with Blue when both their relationships with Adam implode is … I don’t actually need to change much there. I do think I’ll tweak the story of Patrick teaching Art how to jerk off so the gist is the same but it fits into the early trc dynamics of Gansey trying to wingman for Adam and give him advice about girls and at one such occasion there was a practice kiss, and then maybe also a practice handjob. Like I said some Art/Tashi scenes like the “he’s not in love with you who wouldn’t be in love with you” scene give Bluesey to me already and there’s a general patheticness (affectionate) to Art/Gansey that’s similar. I do need to think more about how to shift their dynamic for the adult Art/Tashi stuff since that’ll be more challenging I think… and Tashi/Patrick scenes kind of rely on them both being prickly and argumentative in a way that very much fits the energy of Bluedam’s multiple iconique fight scenes I’m especially going to have fun paralleling the Tashi/Patrick car convo (feels like I can get significance out of Gansey being the one associated with his car and inclined to having romantic moments in them) with the Bluedam ninos fight. 

So, there are some bullet points I have other thoughts obviously but this is already quite long so if your curious about something else specific feel free to ask (also in general re: that poll am open to questions about my ideas for those aus. or about my in progress fic, or whatever)

[wolfieloveswade]

My favorite top 3 villain turned Heroes

1.) Angel From Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel The Series

the first villain turned hero that I fell in love with, I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time as a kid growing up, as an adult in my early 30s, it's still to this very day, what I refer to as "the blue print" when it comes to good tv shows, it's one of the reasons I fell in love with story telling and one of the reasons that I became a writer myself

Angel is a vampire with a soul, before he got his soul back, he was known as Angelus, the vampire with the face of an Angel, he was the most evil, sadistic monster, but when a clan of Gypsies cursed him, he got his soul back, now he's tormented by all of his victims but it's become his fuel for his redemption arc

Angel is one of the most bad-ass characters in tv history, he's got everything that makes an interesting character, and he's also handsome(lol, so that helps)

he's one of my all time favorite Superheroes in general

2.) The T-800 From Terminator 2: Judgment Day

In the original Terminator movie, the T-800 was a beautiful weapon to be feared, he was the deadliest Terminator because he looked like a human but killed without remorse like a demon

in the sequel, Judgement Day, John Connor(the Future Leader Of The Human Resistance), the T-800 has been programmed for good this time and has been sent back in time by John himself, so like a present to himself basically(lol, a father he never had, John never knew his father Kyle Reese because he died before he was born, so the re-programmed T-800 became a surrogate father to John

The T-800 began to understand what it means to cry and what it means to love someone, he ends up sacrificing himself for John and his mother Sarah and the rest of the human race, making him a lot like a converted martyr

3.) Lestat de Lioncourt from Queen Of The Damned

Lestat in this adaption of Anne Rice's Queen Of The Damned was turned into a vampire without his consent, what he wanted more than anything was to be happy and in love(relatable lol), he become a Rockstar but he still was missing the one thing that would make him feel complete, he also hates being a vampire in this adaptation, he sees himself as a monster and his only way to cope is by making cathartic music, what he really wants is to feel human again, he ends up falling in love with a woman named Jesse Reeves, they get their happy ending and defeat Akasha aka The Queen Of The Damned

@themichaelsheen

who are your top 3 villain turned heroes boo?(lol :P

[spacetravels]

I am insane abt noah too… I’d love to know some of your hcs or thoughts or anything you have in that doc you’ve written, if you don’t mind sharing 💓

[insert sickos meme]

YEAH i think in my meta i just wrote too much about how the it lives series is like. the heart of it is mc & the marshall twins. i'll die on that hill. and also ofc the entirety of it lives being about breaking cycles. & like ofc bias here as a noah apologist but here have some paraphrased bullets frm my essay LOL I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY:

Essentially my thesis is like. The Marshall twins: Noah was Jane's whole world and he’ll always feel guilty that he couldn’t save her. MC’s her best friend and the love they had for each other was strong and real and MC will always feel guilt and blame for her her death.It’s a fucked up little circle of grief and blame because they’re both like: Why didn’t I stop this/Why didn’t I save her/Why was it not me/This is my fault

the way the horror genre is often about loss… like the horror of It Lives lies in how painful grief is, and exploring how grief can manifest itself and pain breeding pain and stuff. and it's so different across the book 1 cast but i think noah and mc are so similar in just. they blame themselves and carry jane's death the hardest... and uhhh

the fact they’re in their senior year. And how after this they’re “grown ups” and they have to go to college or get jobs or both. And how redfield/jane represents the youth they lost and will never have again. And red/jane bringing the gang all back for one last game because there’d be no games after that--all of jane’s friends will have to grow up. All of jane’s friends will become adults and she’ll be left behind in this terrible limbo state where she’ll never get to move on the way everyone else could. Like they have to grow up, they can’t stop and stay and play games in the woods like they used to anymore because then they'd never let go of what happened to them. And the end scene where everyone, if they're strong, can declare they're not scared--that's it. They've learned they can let go.

And it aches and it aches so much in the finale when you realize that this happens for everyone EXCEPT MC and Noah. everyone grows up. They played together. They finish the game. They can move on. Their arcs are wonderfully done. But these two people literally don't have the option of that!

so sacrifice MC and Noah have that choice to make that like. They both can’t make it out alive by this point, and they have to choose (assuming like. you get the choice lol the tragedy of noah flying off the handle and killing mc is another thing entirely re: nerve mechanic and whatnot)

And like definitely up to player perception and completely fair at this point if ppl make their choice becuz Fuck Noah Marshall or other reasons to save MC lol no judgement but my thoughts on like. the choice is like.

MC dies, because MC thinks Noah has to live. Despite it all and no matter what consequences he has to face, Noah Marshall has to keep being alive because he’s spent his entire youth stuck in a limbo state of wanting to disappear and be gone and he can’t even have the grace of dying now. He has to live.

Noah dies, because Noah thinks MC has to live, because MC saved him. He’s made peace with his death a long time ago, and this was his fault. MC has been nothing but grounded and carries in them the optimism and belief that grief does not end in pain, but you carry it with you, and you live. MC has to live for the person who can’t

anywyays i'm like. i'm TOTALLY fine and having a NORMAL one

[nalyra-dreaming]

Fic writer asks: 💥🕯️🎈

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be Judgement I think, a Hannibal fic, and tie-in to another chapter. Writing that whole arc (it’s the one I made a book out of) was incredible, and this chapter especially was to showcase the wonderful art the now unfortunately deactivated Hachiseiko did for me: (here is a screenshot, I don’t want to repost the high-res image)

I still love it dearly 💕

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I have a few I went out of my comfort range for, and a few prompts that will take me there, too. But some things, especially im the VC (book and show) hit very close to home and those… are hard. And will be hard. Writing does help with the catharsis though and as such I‘m looking forward to tackle it, eventually.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It definitely has changed over the last years. It’s become clearer and more precise.

I recently got a comment that I really, really loved, namely that my “work is full of emotionally charged words. The reader is left feeling staggered by it.“ - and tbh that is exactly how I try to write these days.

There is a lot less rambling and worldbuilding too, I often leave that to the minds of the reader since we are in known universes 😅

Thank youuuu 💕

[thesherrinfordfacility]

hope you're good!!!✨ i did get your first one but no matter! very good thanks! you? oh well. i've lost a few emails to the connection in the last few days so i figured just in case.

also thank you re: the amv, haha!!! i ended up doing another using The Darkness, but your suggestion of using Original Sin is inspired, ive put it on the list!!! as for being on the nose... well, i did one to lewis capaldi's heavenly kind of state of mind, so make of that what you will! you're welcome! it really is fantastic! (as are your others; i'm looking forward to the abba one.) lol true about heavenly kind of state of mind and original sin is just such a good song.

i completely agree with your remarks on the implications of god... feels incongruous with other aspects of god's characterisation or indeed the theme of the story - to my interpretation, anyway. yes to this entire paragraph. absolutely celebrate everyone writing whatever they want and god getting increasingly frustrated as increasingly ludicrous fanfic like matchmaking schemes keep failing is potentially hilarious but in my opinion it doesn't work with god or the story at large for her to be involved in things.

i also love the metaphorical imagery, the poetry, of crowley being the question, and aziraphale being the answer (this sparks narrative analytical joy). oooo yes that is great imagery. i agree that free will has to be the plan and aziraphale and crowley do represent that in a way but i think that might be - from god's perspective not the authorial one - fairly coincidental. like it didn't have to specifically be those two? i don't know. i tend to consider god pretty much entirely a non entity as speculation goes. she narrates and that's it.

whilst that certainly speaks to me as being his behaviour, im not personally convinced that is his motive. i think the motive question might end up going round and round in circles once you start digging into it. where do we exactly put the line between 'god wants' and 'i want' to establish a starting point? i don't think he's trying to undermine her authority. i do think he's trying to take/has already taken over heaven but maybe he thinks that's what god would want him to do. she's not talking so he's just going to have to defer to his own judgement of what god's will is and his own desires are certainly influencing that judgement extensively. to what degree he's aware of this? tricky question if you ask me. i prefer him to be fully aware and nonetheless certain that he's doing the divinely approved good/right thing but that really is just personal preference and you do make a good case for the reverse. might just call it a mix of both and give up on the details before i accidentally talk myself into a paradox.

for me, it's the specific, simplified concept that moral absolutism doesn't exist. noone is completely evil, just as noone is wholly good. good point! this is why i agree that the metatron should think he's doing the right/good thing (even if he fulfills the function of the major villain). i guess i just feel like a bit more self awareness might give him more agency?

it would make sense, to me, for this to extend to metatron this whole paragraph also makes a very good point. i said above that he thinks he's doing the right/good thing but might it be more accurate that he believes he's doing the necessary thing? that he needs to put himself in power and do all these reprehensible things because it's the only way to preserve heaven and with it god's will and the concept of 'goodness'? that could open up a bunch of things around the end justifying the means.

i think both absolutely could be correct, a mix of them - for me, the former being personal against metatron's motive, and the latter against his character. don't have anything to add here i'm afraid; just wanted to say i like this a lot!

his questions, i think again for me it makes for a more compelling character arc that crowley has existed throughout his fall and being a demon as not getting any answers you're probably right here narratively speaking. i got attached to the whole serpent thematic but the more i think about it that does also work with just questions. the serpent only opens up the path to knowledge without directly partaking of it themself after all. and the wrong questions are still dangerous. maybe even more so than the answers.

albeit, i have a feeling that the answer will essentially be that there are no answers, and it's 'up to each of you to find your own ones' oh yeah. definitely.

thoughts [about the demons]? hmmm. i'm inclined to say seeing more demons asking questions is just because we're seeing more demons now. not to mention hastur and ligur were fairly major antagonists (and i'm not yet convinced hastur isn't coming back!). it's the same as muriel to me. just because heaven and hell are absolutely terrible it doesn't mean all angels and demons are so we're now getting nicer characters on both sides to show this and balance out each side's antagonists. as for why the short-staffing: i like the idea that demons are just defecting but i think maybe something's wrong in hell? shax tells crowley beelzebub 'put some of the lesser demons on half rations'. this is a new aka post armageddon development so presumably pre armageddon hell had enough resources for everyone to be getting full rations. now there's less demons around than before but less resources per demon. of course i'm assuming that the half rations is because of lack of resources and not some other reason like punishment but I don't think that's an unreasonable assumption to make: when eric keep interrupting to draw attention to the lack of demons he also points out that they won't be able to take the large transporter which seems like a resources issue as well. it's almost like something's draining hell. i haven't the foggiest how or what or why but i'm pretty sure it'll matter next season.

i meant 'conclusive' haha!!! ah ok. that makes a lot more sense then and in that case i agree. the archangels aren't innocent but they're not as bad as the metatron either.

but the bottom line - as i see it - for them is to preserve heaven. we can view their actions as deplorable, and that is true, but in their unique circumstances, what other action would, could, or should they have taken? i refer back to my thoughts above on moral absolutism and its place - if it has any - in GO and its characters. yep! it's very likely the archangels think what they're doing - including the things they do to maintain their power (and they infight and try to exercise power over each other but they always present a united front to other angels) - are necessary. though as i said in ny last ask i'm not sure that doesn't make them more dangerous. righteousness is, shall we say, not good.

re: memory of their time as angels, this is where i largely fluctuate on how much i subscribe to the memory wipe theory - but i don't think it's a full wipe, but potentially partial? oof. yeah there's something happening with memory but the details?

but i think perhaps that the memory wipe is attributable more to the BOL than to the metatron himself - i do think there's potentially a link between falling/erasure of grace and divinity, and to memories of being an angel gabriel though. he was going to have his memory erased - depending on whether putting it in the fly was just backup or full removal, did - while staying an angel. i feel like tht might counter the fall/memory loss connection.

as for demons not being aware of a wider issue, that's a fair point - but do demons really talk to each other? wouldn't that indicate a weakness, vulnerability? if there is a large-scale memory problem going on, which is a very tentative thought anyway, im not sure that any of the demons would in fact talk to others about it. true and why i didn't discount the collateral damage option after the first season. though if it happened to everyone it might have been acknowledged in company policy? just another part of falling. like i said i really think it might be something that happened only to crowley because of whatever specific role he played and not a large scale operation. if we can trust his drunken ramble he still remembers the act of falling itself just not what led up to it and that i would tentatively hazard the other demons do based on what we see and hear from them. p.s. this doesn't really properly fit into my speculation but i still wanted to say it: 'we are the fallen. never forget that.' 'it's not the kind of thing you forget.' gains a certain kind of irony if there's as many holes in crowley's memory as i suspect.

i have my #halo theory wherein i wonder if aziraphale was the specific angel to actually declare the war in heaven ok that is a very interesting idea for parallels and mirroring. first he declares the war in heaven, then he introduces war to humanity and finally he declares war in hell defending the bookshop in episode six. rule of three. *pauses* oh shit. and hereby i just found a narrative argument for having the scapegoat theory apply to both pre fall and present day crowley. awcw get scapegoated for the fall, the serpent of eden gets scapegoated for the fall of man and crowley gets scapegoated for whatever happens with the second coming/the still unresolved declaration of war on hell. rule of three. that of course would set them up for not only mirroring/paralleling their own story arcs but also as counterpoints to each other. ok this possibility fascinates me. might need to think on it more and then get back to you about it later! and then of course there's the characterisation element of carrying the weight of that kind of guilt around, which is plenty interesting in its own right, not to mention could add another layer to him accepting the metatron's offer.

i absolutely love your interpretation of crowley's inner conflict, i think that's so well put, and i like it a lot!!! i certainly don't think crowley is willfully ignorant or in denial of his potential part in his own - or the wider - fall, but perhaps just doesn't want to examine or confront it, as you said... or perhaps doesn't remember altogether, and has just cobbled together why he thinks he fell. firstly, thanks! i tend to the latter option, but think the internal conflict/fear of finding himself to be evil would work with either especially if we lean into the scapegoat theory which does also work with either.

but similarly, i think it's also fair to assess crowley as having some measure of the same mentality as he did before he fell; that he can be quite blinkered, self-assured, and at times quite arrogant. yep! though - without trying to excuse it away - i do wonder how much of it's also a defence mechanism at this point.

and please, please do not think im hating on him - critique of a character does not mean i dislike him or find him reprehensible, i promise; it's quite the opposite honestly!!! no worries, i absolutely do no think that! if that's how my p.s. came across i'm very sorry. absolutely not my intention. i enjoy your analyses so it was just a passing thought i had that it'd probably be interesting to see you discuss an aspect of the story and/or characters you don't talk about as much; i find it usually is when people do. (you can blame the history teacher i had in my last few years of school for that lol. she was big on that sort of thing and i guess it just stuck with me.)

the narrative would still hold and be profound if it were the other way around. just personally i like the idea of him being a heavenly Nobody to becoming a hellish Somebody is rather compelling!!!✨ fair enough. i think there's definitely great things you could do with either so i'm more than happy to just sit back and see where it'll go. 🦭

hey 🦭 anon, lovely!!!✨💕 two gorgeously long and complex asks (second under the cut) - gosh, where to start!!!

okay let's get cracking with the first!!!

the abba one has been placed on hold for the time being (inspiration did not vibe with me for it BUT another is in the works and is actually shaping up to be a Slap so stay tuned!!!)

i agree with you re: metatron, i think his motive is going to be somewhat cyclical, and mutually inclusive - to be motivated in what he determines as 'good' and as decreed by god by lack of any other instruction, and to be in his own selfish or narcissistic interests - can and i think probably will exist simultaneously.

i don't think he necessarily would be unaware of what he's doing, per se, but more that he's convinced that as the voice of god, whatever he thinks and does is sanctified as being god's will (because god hasnt told him otherwise) and is done in the name of preserving heaven - and, by extension, the balance of good and evil. therefore, of course, it must be inherently good.

personally, i don't believe that that would remove any agency from metatron (same as aziraphale who, for all of his questionable decisions, to my mind hasn't lacked agency), even if we would evaluate metatron's actions as being bad or wrong - to him, they truly wouldn't be... but like you said re: necessity, i think metatron would potentially see his actions as necessary, and what is necessary is to uphold the 'good'... so does it therefore remain up to everyone else whether those actions are right or wrong? yes, imo - but it's the context that's key.

i guess the closest i can liken metatron to as a 'villain' type character (and please, mea culpa, im not very imaginative) would be javert from les misérables. the law is created, in his eyes, to uphold justice (good); when that law is broken, he is compelled to mete out that justice (also good). it's not a perfect analogy, and obviously there is compelling context on valjean's part (his parolee papers for time served on a justifiable crime make it impossible for him to start a new life as a free man), but ultimately he broke his parole and the law, and javert, whilst operating in a broken system, is doing what he believes to be the good, right thing.

LOVE your thoughts around hell and the short-staffing/dwindling resource issue. i did some writing around shax a couple of days ago, so in hand with that I'll think on your points a little more, they're excellent ones!!!

re: fall/memory loss - possibly, but i personally don't think so. i did a little bit of speculation around the BOL and saraqael, especially in relation to the trial scene, a while ago - it's probably in my #book of life and #saraqael meta tags, if you wanted a peruse!!! but the batshit thought essentially was: what saraqael has access to, in that scene, was the BOL, and she operates it on behalf of metatron... and did during the fall, too.

re: crowley critique, no no it didn't come across like that at all!!! ive just unfortunately had asks previously where people have questioned whether or not i like him, because ive been quite heavily critical of him, and wondered if i find anything redeemable about him... suffice to say, i feel the need now to ensure that any readers do not think that i dislike him if i point out his more... questionable traits; i just find them way more interesting and compelling in a character than the good ones!!!💕

onto your second ask, and just to clarify - it wasn't my mum, unfortunately!!! (the most insight my mum ever gave on GO was this beauty -

- she gets it).

but regardless!!! first of all, LOVE your speculation and what you've thought out!!! i will honestly need to think on it more before i can come to any kind of conclusion, but i am - and i hope you don't mind - essentially going to use this as a scribble pad for some speculation. some of it is in direct relation to your spec, some is general to the fall/war, and some is just Stuff feeding into it... hope that's okay!!!

could totally see it happening - that AWCW fought on heaven's side, and was made to fall essentially at the last minute/unexpectedly for a reason he doesn't even really know, and had to rationalise after the fact

however, i think that removes, as we've batted back and forth already and in the bit above, a little bit of agency on AWCW's part. i don't think AWCW chose to fall, of course, but i do think that he asked questions/made decisions, and followed through on them/stood by them, that resulted in his becoming a demon, regardless of whether he fell or was pushed

agree that hell can't make angels fall; it doesn't make sense, and i refer back to my thoughts/theory on BOL on this

also hard-agree that, without the memory-wipe theory in play, it doesn't make any sense for AWCW to have answers to dangerous (?) questions, because of the risk he'd pose once fallen. it would make far more sense, like they planned with gabriel, to just simply wipe his memory and demote him to a lesser choir*. so i think that's where, personally, i simply do think that he just didn't get any answers at all

now this all could arguably skew the scapegoat theory, but not necessarily, because the idea that he could have been scapegoated by his own 'friends' still stands, imo

my conclusion at the moment, but it will still require more thought for definite, is that i don't think it will have been the case - i think in a way it would feel a little overcomplicated, and whilst devastating i think would erase some of crowley's accountability for his decisions... not necessarily bad decisions! but decisions nonetheless.

*this has just precipitated the unfortunate thought (unfortunate in that it's gone 1:30am and i need to sleep) that - well, what if that was what was meant to happen to crowley??? same as muriel (we speculate), and same as gabriel, he was initially intended to fall but to a lower rank, with no memories, and instead he legged it? like gabriel did? immediately i can think of multiple reasons as to why i don't think this was the case, but... still interesting to think about.

anyway! this response snowballed a bit and for that please have another apology dance 💃 but let me begin with, pure hypothesis, a rough sequence of events re: the fall:

> AWCW and aziraphale meet, he starts asking questions

> meets lucifer and co, AWCW falls in with their little group that does not consider it bad to ask questions, and maybe he reiterates his 'if i were in charge' thought because he feels comfortable to do so amongst them

> lucifer starts getting bolder, as do his closest cohort, about challenging god, and crowley gets swept up in it, or fully agrees with lucifer and actually fully supports him - and aziraphale knows none of this is going on/nothing about AWCW's association with them

> all comes to a head, god nopes out of the whole thing (free will argument), and when things can't be reconciled, war* is declared (👀 at aziraphale and his halo frisbee)

> war, etc., possible temporary ceasefire or lucifer concedes; all the rebels are brought for their Final Judgement before the metatron and the archangels etc

> lucifer implicates AWCW for leading him astray, that he was the one asking questions, and now lucifer has been corrupted or something, idk, but metatron decides all of them need to go - and yet perhaps a particularly harsh punishment is in fact due for AWCW (so yeah, actually, perhaps it is only crowley that doesnt fully remember heaven? that was his own personal punishment, to not remember parts of his time in heaven/the fall?*)

> initiate::Book Of Life Protocol

*now that im writing it out though, i do wonder if that makes sense, that the war would precede the fall...? i think it would, because it seems like the fallen would, well, fall, as punishment for rebellion, and then go off to plot their revenge etc in hell furfur confirms in ep4 that the war/"dubious battle" indeed came "just before" the fall!!! wahoo!!!

*the thing is... in leviticus, there were two goats - sacrificial goat, and the scapegoat. so this is where, i - in equal conviction which is, to say, shaky at best - also personally hold the thought that AWCW might never have been the scapegoat, and instead aziraphale* potentially was - leaving AWCW to be the sacrificial.

this last thought is slightly tangential, but stick with me:

*we know aziraphale was a cherub during the pre-fall scene, and in eden. that doesn't mean that he stayed a cherub in between these points

i recently added some ramblings to this meta on his ring, which i think is the hallmark of the archangel rank - and the fact he wears his on his opposite hand to the others, and constantly covers it, feels very indicative of some unseen backstory

it also feels that him being on earth is an ostracism, a roundabout punishment by way of being cast out but not falling...

and the thing is that genesis 3:24 (KJV) reads the following:

"So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."

so if aziraphale, as a singular cherub, was placed in eden, it was after the fall of humanity, after original sin. we only see aziraphale arrive to give adam the sword as they were leaving, not beforehand. and after eden, it's suggested, he was demoted to principality (the angelology is debated i know but im sticking with christian/GO-confirmed combination angelology for the moment)

so it can't, to my mind, be because of the apple business that aziraphale was demoted - it's not as if he let the serpent in (if we follow genesis, he arguably wasnt even there at that point). it could be because he gave away his sword, but a) god knows and let him get away with it, and b) neither gabriel nor the quartermaster knew that he gave it away in s1

so what other reason could it have been? well, the only plausible reason i can think of is that it's because he didn't smite crawley when given the opportunity on the wall

others have debated whether or not it was aziraphale telling AWCW about the stars that led to AWCW's fall, and perhaps in point of fact it was... but im not certain that anyone would have known about it, other than them. maybe aziraphale refused to fight (after knowing that AWCW was amongst the other side?), he refused to wield his archangel power in some way (like gabriel refused?), or he actually defended AWCW (personal favourite)?

idk, but either way, whatever he did, he was punished for it with the demotion to cherub, and then demoted again to principality for not smiting the serpent of eden

instead of AWCW being the scapegoat for the fall, was he sacrificed as an example, to atone for fallen, and aziraphale was scapegoated to atone for the fall of humanity? had the blame of not destroying the serpent of eden placed upon him, and was cast into the wilderness (earth)?

i realise how ridiculous it all sounds, believe me, but my sleepiness is now officially winning so i shall leave it there (honestly 🦭 anon, im so sorry for the unrelated ramble, but it's actually so helpful for me to type this out, it helps with understanding what my own theories even are when i write other stuff... so thank you!!!)✨

[saymoretv]

I read something recently that suggested the idea of 'selling out' doesn't exist in culture today. My first thought was, 'I'm not sure about that'. You can still see people having some of the same debates that connect with this idea; whether that's in people 'gatekeeping' genres, artists watering down or changing their sound, or bands getting getting backlash for working with big corporate sponsors. However, from my vantage point at least, 'selling out' certainly does seems to be a much lesser point consideration or judgement when it comes to conversations around music, art, commerce, identity, etc. and that certainly is to do with the new ways we consume and access music, art, as well as the re-formation of the music industry in the streaming era.

It got me thinking also about a book I about Jawbreaker read recently. The format of the book and the series its published as part of, is notionally a long-form close read / deep listen on a culturally important album by a band, but in actual fact it's basically a biography that takes 24 Hour Revenge Therapy as its central focus by which to tell the story of the band. So even though I would have been happy with someone waxing very lyrical about why they love each element of each song on the record, in hindsight a wider story about who the band where, and their journey along the way probably did make for a better read overall.

Perhaps the most interesting theme within the book is the idea of 'selling out' and how this coloured so much of the bands' legacy and story. Internally it seemed to it seemed central to the decisions and the arc of the 'career' of the band, Such as their initial refuting of the possibility of ever 'selling out' to a major label, and then eventually doing so. And externally, it seemed to colour so much of how they were viewed by their fans and the punk / underground or DIY music communities the band had its roots in, such as the band going from the admiration and adoration they got for being underground heroes of the Gilman Scene, and then the backlash that followed for supporting Nirvana and then signing to Geffen. Boxcar, like no other song in the Jawbreaker discography best encapsulates the way this discourse around 'selling out' is attached to the band.

It's hard not to hear "I was passing out when you were you were passing out your rules" and not regard it as one of the punkest lyrics of all time, but the rules aren't societies rules that say UK82 punks were railing against but the scene politics of the day, and who or what does and doesn't get to be ascribed or as 'punk'. Jawbreaker and Blake are pretty unequivocal: "I never was one". So, maybe fans shouldn't have been so surprised when they signed to a major after all.

That said, for all the bands protestations about not being punks - the visuals tell a different story. Gritty Super 8 B+W footage, gear being loaded into tour vans, and candid band footage shot in and out of the tour bus. I mean all it's missing is some gnarly live footage and a stage dive and all the punk music video boxes are ticked!

Also, it's interesting to note that the band only have two music videos, to my knowledge. The raw, B+W Boxcar video and the glossy Fireman video where they appear in yellow suits (!). Both great songs, but again it definitely highlight this idea of the band Pre and Post 'selling out'.

For me, as much as I love their music, I get a certain 'cakeism' when it came to their relationship with the punk / DIY scene. They got so much affirmation and a sense of community from it, whilst also feeling held back by it's conformity and the policing of behaviours and practice. They both needed the scene and wanted to transcend above it. A song like Boxcar is emblematic of this in that: it takes being part of or close to the punk scene to have the context to reject or even reference what Blake is rejecting. It's the things that are closest to home that often wind us up the most after all.

But this is all to say that these considerations of selling out which were so central to the story of Jawbreaker feel somewhat anachronistic in today's world. Maybe this is because the importance or regard people in bands and fans give to 'selling out' has lessened over the years due to the fact that the stakes are a lot lower. There's less money to go around. Jawbreaker may not have been in line for millions when they released Dear You but they might have gotten rich, but now only a select few (and not many guitar bands I would imagine) will ever get 'rich' by virtue of their music. It's hard to sell out if no one's buying I suppose.

[keanthegooseman]

Book Review | Pride and Prejudice

Author: Jane Austen

Genre: Classic Regency, Romance

Publication Date: January 28, 1813

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆

"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense."

I was (re)playing Saints Row 4 a couple of months ago, and not gonna lie, the multiple references to Jane Austen got me interested in checking out some of her works. I saw a copy of Pride and Prejudice for sale, so I took the chance and bought it.

Pride and Prejudice centers on the rocky relationship between Elizabeth Bennet, the novel's protagonist, and Fitzwilliam Darcy, a wealthy landowner. Elizabeth, having a habit of making quick judgements of people, has a less than favorable first impression of Darcy after overhearing his comments about her. Darcy, on the other hand, is a man of respectable position. Because of his class, he has no interest in anyone that could tarnish his reputation. The story revolves around both characters having to let go of their biases, and seeing each other for who they truly are.

Long story short: it was decent, and the romance was great. I was just expecting something better, more amazing. I guess the abundance of praise I hear about Jane Austen, and specifically this book, shot my expectations through the roof. The first half of the book was a bit slow, a bit boring I might say, but when I reached the middle of the book, the story started to pick up and I was hooked from that point onwards. 

I really enjoyed the relationship between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth and its progression from hostility, to holding affections for one another. Getting to see the both of them overcome their pride and prejudice (roll credits) felt very fulfilling. The pair of them becoming better people at the influence of the other was great. At first I didn't really like Darcy at all, I viewed him as a pompous and arrogant man because of the way the book describes his actions. But then I realized that the story was being told from Elizabeth's prejudiced point of view. On a second read of the book, Darcy's actions begin to make more sense. I was a bit disappointed, however, that the story ends at them already being married, without seeing the wedding take place, or any look at their life in the future. 

Truthfully, I had a hard time reading this book. Since Jane Austen wrote this around two centuries ago, some of the words used in the book were archaic. I also found the way characters were addressed to be a bit confusing in the beginning. Most characters were addressed by their last name, with Mr being used for men, Mrs for married women, and Ms/Lady for unmarried women  their first name seldom used. It certainly didn't help when five sisters are all addressed as Ms. Bennet, or having a wife refer to her husband as Mr. Bennet. A lot of the humor also flew past my head so I didn't really find this novel funny or witty as other readers may have.

Pride and Prejudice is a true romance classic. The character arcs of Elizabeth and Darcy feel natural and fulfilling, with the romance being equally so. While the old style of writing and humor make it a bit difficult to understand, it still is very worth the time it takes to read. If you're a fan of the enemies-to-lovers trope or prefer purer depictions of romance, then this book is definitely a must-read for you.

[2dkapsddr]

April 16th, 2022 - ProSeka, PIU M, WACCA Reverse, DDR A3, PIU XX, Project Mirai

originally split this into two separate posts (one for proseka, another for arcade), but i feel it's easier to navigate and write (even if less pleasing to me) to include them both in the same post.

so let's get the proseka out of the way first!! (that, and since it's first chronologically on google photos for this day w). after an AP win and an AP draw, i finally moved up the ladder and achieved... GOLD!!! and also AP'ed Melty Land Nightmare on Master!!!

ughhh fine . i guess this happened as well; a random PIU M score after not seeing it for so long?? (tho it's not a really good one)

now we can FINALLY move onto the arcade side. warmed up on wacca by clearing a 13+...

...and then i finally decided to bite the bullet on moving to A3. just too much content (that means barely anything) that i wanted to experience, so here begins my arc of almost never playing A20 PLUS again...

and for second impressions (after they patched some missing stuff and shrunk the judgement font), it's actually pretty good ! got some fresh n funky scores before playing kusare to bid it farewell as it gets removed from the game soon...

i went to distract myself more w/ some pump, and since there were just 4 other guys hanging around there, we did the PRIME Opening Co-op x5 chart!!! along with a few other scores

then once i got back home, i went on JP and tried to re-AP some of my existing Master APs that i already had on EN

and FINEEEEE, i GUESS i'll include this one score that i got at 11pm. i was pressured into this by a friend, and while it's only the demo for now, i got my first Project Mirai score at night!!!

[erad1cator]

@godsdefied ( seth ) asked : ❛ you really are an asshole, you know that? ❜

◤ ⸸ 𝗕 𝗥 𝗨 𝗧 𝗔 𝗟 𝗜 𝗧 𝗬 ⸸ ◢      a soft laugh slips from the smirk pulled across her lips as she sprawls across her arm chair , legs tossed over the arm so that the leather rests in the crook of her knees . she eyes the man as he speaks , hands shifting to crack knuckles as she heaves a sigh . she doesn't bother getting up . not a sign of disrespect , more a sign of power , a reminder that this room is hers , that she's the one that needs to be impressed .

" don't sound so disappointed , pretty boy . isn't that why you're here ? because i can be the asshole ? seems to be what everyone around here is looking for . "

[herinsectreflection]

Could you elaborate on your thoughts about buffy/riley being an "agressively heteronormative" relationship in the context of the show, please? I really like your meta.

So there's a lot of stuff feeding into it, which I'll go into more detail on when I reach S4, but here's the basic theory. Riley is purposefully designed and positioned as the "normal" boyfriend. The normal relationship that Angel told Buffy she should have when he broke up with her at the end of S3. But what is "normal"? In the context of late 90s America, a "normal" relationship is clearly defined as "between a white cisgender heterosexual man and a white cisgender heterosexual woman". The narrative is pointing towards that supposed normality and holding it up as something that Buffy should strive for. Obviously it's not literal - the "normal" that Angel is encouraging is a relationship with a human rather than a vampire with a forced-chastity curse - but the metaphor is still there.

All of Buffy's other major love interests are non-normative in some way - a desire that Buffy isn't "supposed" to have. She's not supposed to want to date a vampire/a bad girl/a soulless vampire. It's against the rules. Whereas Riley is exactly the kind of person she is "supposed" to want. An all-American, corn-fed white bread guy who loves his country and eats all his five a day. He's the very image of what our society deems as a success, a man you could raise 2.4 kids and a white picket fence with. When the show positions him as something Buffy should want, it feels eerily similar to how heteronormative society also positions him as something all women should want.

And if we look at the text, there's a lot to suggest that Buffy doesn't really want him, and desires something else. The show emphasises Buffy's fondness for "bad boys" an awful lot around the time they get together, she sneaks off in the night to have metaphorical sex elsewhere, her shadow selves keep telling Riley how unsatisfied she is. She is told by others that he is what she should chase after, rather than it being something coming from in herself (see Into the Woods). She even says herself that "he was supposed to be Joe Normal". It is very easy to read her relationship with Riley as a performance, something she feels like she should want rather than something she does want, and is trying to make it work. He's the Compulsory Heterosexuality boyfriend.

Her relationship with Riley too is often positioned against queer and metaphorically queer relationships. In New Moon Rising, he expresses judgement towards Willow for being the "kind of girl" who dated a werewolf. This sparks insecurity in Buffy over her own past relationship with a demon. But it's also explicitly compared to how Buffy reacts to Willow's actually queer relationship with Tara. Queer desire = desire towards monsters, so in that scene Buffy becomes the metaphorical semi-closeted bisexual hiding her queer past from her new straight boyfriend (and honestly, given that she never told him about Faith before she absolutely had to, that's also a valid literal reading). We have a similar situation with his return in S6, where he is held up as the One Who Got Away, compared against her relationship with Spike - which receives very heavy queer coding around this time (Buffy literally talks about "coming out" the episode before Riley returns).

There's a whole other thread to explore in the fact that there is an arc there in S4 about unravelling this - how Buffy comes to learn that she was mistaken to see him as "Joe Normal", and how Riley comes to be more open about the demon/queer world and unlearn his limited preconceptions - but the respective issues the writers and fans had with Riley as a character led to them backtracking in S5, deciding that Spike was a better love interest, and so re-positioning him in opposition to Buffy's non-normative desires. It's getting late though, and I have work in the morning. I hope this made sense at least, and gave some idea of why I get this feeling of heteronormativity from them.

[sunfortune]

okay so re cap 3: one of the points always brought up about tony’s outburst towards bucky is that tchalla went through the same thing but he was up there introspecting while tony was downstairs getting his ass beat, but tchalla did have the entire movie to go through his development while tony’s arc happens in like the last 10 mins, tchalla would arguably have ripped bucky apart if he’d gotten hold of him in the beginning and it was the that whole journey helped him come to terms. so do you think they’re comparable scenarios? because as much as i hate tony and in the rest of this movie specifically i fee like some time apart from the situation would’ve helped him the way it did tchalla so i don’t know if that argument is fair

tchallas dad died 2 days ago. tonys parents died 20 years ago. t’challa didn’t have any sort of privilege over tony in that situation

t’challa learned he was getting fooled bc he let his anger cloud his judgement in the beginning and then decides to change and be level headed in the end

tony learned he was getting fooled bc he let his anger cloud his judgment in the beginning then learned nothing from the experience, went into that cave and let his anger cloud his judgement again

t’challa was under the impression that bucky killed his dad in cold blood of his own volition which tbh justified his anger. tony was very much in the know about bucky being brainwashed and tortured and lacking agency and he still Chose to try to murder him.

IF tony was level headed in the beginning of the movie and THEN lost it at the end i could sympathize with him. that would be interesting. it would actually make the falling out between him and steve actually mean something.

but you can’t be an irrational clown at every mild inconvenience in the movie and then expect the finale to pack the same punch. like you did this twice in this same movie already. over some bs that was your fault

also i’m not saying tony HAD to be rational i’m saying he looks like a clown for not being when tchallas character is right there providing that juxtaposition. the movie itself is written all over the place

and then 3 years later (ample time to come to your senses) in endgame tony says he was right about all of it anyway so like what does me excusing him even matter when the narrative excuses him. god bless

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Hello~ how are you doing? I really like your meta posts about star wars they all cause me emotional damage but also thoughtful.

First I want to say that I'm relatively new to SW fandom and universe. I watched the trilogy a long time ago, but just now that I decided to know more. I watched the movies and series (currently watching tcw animation), besides of what is Disney canon I only have some informations of what happens in the Legends.

Anyway, I said this all because I have this doubt in my mind since I watched the prequels, and this only got stronger when I re-watch the saga. Was Anakin destiny to fall?

And this lead to another doubt, because I don't really know what is determined by the Force or is free choice.

I'm not Anakin apologist. I just fail to recognize a path where he fulfilled the prophecy without falling in the dark side. Tbh, I feel like he always was one step to the dark side, always in the limit... I don't think I'm reading correctly, because in the end, he chose it. Just like Reva chose to not kill Luke.

Anakin chose to follow the dark side over and over. And yet, I still wonder if he really had a choice? Am I being coherent here? Probably not :')

You're definitely being coherent haha! And thank you for this question--I was literally just talking to my friend about this the other day, so I'm glad to have a chance to flesh out my thoughts :)

The whole point of Anakin is that he loves so deeply it's unhealthy and it burns him up from the inside out. He ties himself so deeply to those he loves that he struggles to handle things involving their relationships with him in a reasonable way. These issues stem from his childhood, and they're never adequately addressed; it's likely he never even consciously recognized how dangerously deep his attachments to others ran. This makes him vulnerable to manipulation, which is exactly what Palpatine takes advantage of.

Anakin did make a very distinct choice: he is accountable for his actions and in the end he did know what he was doing. But I don't think that, at least at first, he realized what the root cause of his actions truly was. When he first turns to the Dark Side he's not consciously doing it for selfish reasons--deep down, it is a selfish desire for control and ultimately for power, but in his mind he's doing it because he has to: he is trying to save Padmé's life and overthrow what he views as a corrupt regime.

This persepctive is a direct result of Palpatine's influence. Palpatine groomed Anakin from the time he was a vulnerable and traumatized child through his adulthood. He leveraged his access to Anakin to put himself in a fatherly role in Anakin's life-- someone who he trusts and who seems to be the only one who fully trusts him and his judgement is naturally going to be more appealing to an immature and desperate young man than the often-restrictive Jedi order and the expectations he can never seem to live up to.

Palpatine very intentionally plays into Anakin's heightened impression of his own responsibility and power (caused by his awareness of his status as the Chosen One), and Anakin's simultaneous sense of utter powerlessness and loss (caused by his childhood as a slave, the suddenness of his departure from Tatooine, and the death of his mother) by making it out to be that Anakin, and only Anakin, has the ability and the right to determine how things should be. Not only that, he removes the only support system Anakin has by sending Obi-Wan to Geonosis and framing Padmé as a victim--as Anakin's victim--if Anakin doesn't use his power to save her.

To his credit, Anakin initially resists. He's opposed to Palpatine at first, so Palpatine pulls on Anakin's attachment to him as a father-figure (despite what Anakin had just witnessed) to goad him into killing Mace Windu.

As the lightning arcs across the room, connecting the two men in front of him in a violent and burning display, Anakin watches, his own battle raging inside him. He knows what is right, and in truth he knows he is powerful enough to stop Palpatine. He is the Chosen One. He is fated to bring balance to the Force. He could choose that fate: he could save Mace and stop Palpatine. But Anakin allows what Palpatine offers, and what Anakin himself feels, to blind him to the truth he had just recognized. Choosing the right is choosing to sacrifice what he wants, what he loves, and he will never do that. That scene is a representation of Anakin's internal decision as much as his physical one: in the moment he kills Mace Windu, he chooses to attack the good in himself instead of the evil, and commits himself to the Dark Side.

The tragedy of Anakin's fall is that it could have been prevented, in some other life. If he was protected from Palpatine's influence; if he had been able to see his mother before her death; if he had been shown how his attachment was unhealthy and why, and taught how to love people without making them his entire universe; if he had talked about these things and listened to the counsel he received; then it would have been different. But it would have been different because he would have been different. He was shaped by what happened to him and those around him, and changing those things would have made him into someone who would never have chosen to fall. Who would never have felt like he needed to. Who, perhaps, would never have wanted to. But as it was, he had a furnace in him, and others saw that and stoked the flame, and Anakin chose to let it consume him.

So in the end, it's a both-and situation: what happened to Anakin was both fully Anakin's choice and never only his choice. The circumstances and plans of other people intersected perfectly with the kind of person Anakin was naturally, which was shaped by his childhood experiences, which was shaped in part by the Jedi and in part by simple chance, and Anakin's own determination of the person he wanted to become. Ultimately the final decision was made by him--he recognizes himself that he killed Anakin Skywalker--but it's impossible to assign sole blame to any one party for all the decisions and factors that led him there. That's just how life works: nothing happens in a vacuum, and it's impossible to tell what the tipping point is, because everything is entangled in ways we can't describe. And in that way, I suppose you could call it fate.

But fate is never stronger than will. The true tragedy is that even after all of this, Anakin was presented a way out, through Obi-wan, and he chose not to take it. Who can truly know why we cling to what destroys us? But he did, as so many of us do. He chose a path of suffering and cruelty and death, and he walked that path for many years.

But in the end, he chose to turn around--and so can we. No one is ever truly beyond the point of saving. We always have a choice. And that is what I think is most important of all: no matter why we fall, we can always rise again.

[imperaptorfuriosa]

just saw your tag about the transgenderism of schwarzneggar films and now i need to know more

omg omg thank you for asking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i previously talked about my thesis that 80s action hero democratizes/deconstructs masculinity in this post, but when talking about arnold schwarzenegger, there's a few specific points i like to dig into >:)

arnold got famous in the body builder community first. he had already won mr olympia seven times before his big break in the documentary pumping iron (1977). while he first appeared in hercules in new york (1970), his voice was totally dubbed and he was credited as “arnold strong.” they needed him for his body, but his identity was obscured because he was seen as too foreign. his first successful acting role (and the only one he won an award for) was as a body builder in stay hungry (1976). 

throughout his work in the 80s (conan, terminator, commando, predator), his body is constantly on display. multiple shots of his muscles/arms/body are often shown before his face. his heroism, and identity as a star, are inherently tied to his body, which he famously built with his own hands. terminator doubles down on this idea by 1) introducing him totally in the nude and 2) having him play a literal construction aka robot.

to get back on track: all this means that, in theory, anyone could build themselves into a hero, a myth, a leading man. these films argue that your own mythic gender can be self-made.

older images of heroism/masculinity (presented by john wayne, jimmy stewart, james cagney etc etc) always seemed to be something special that the man was born with. maybe he learned his way on the streets, or was taught how to shoot, but his heroism came from within. 80s arnold says: fuck that. make your own body and your own myth and your own masculinity. 

also, the majority of arnold's movies at this point dont have much in the way of love interests. there's no heteronormative romance arc to re-establish that he's a man BECUASE he fucks women. all the focus is placed on his gender expression. (commando specifically is one of those action movies (like top gun) that is super homoerotic lmao)

((predator also get a special shout-out because its the movie where arnold plays a final boy :) other people have written much more extensively about the queerness of final boys, so ill just say that predator is about a guy who is broken down to the point of being almost an animal. there is nothing left but what he can make with his hands. his body is his only tool and he is in complete control of it. he even literally dictates who gets to see it once he realizes that the predator’s sight is informed by heat signatures/body heat))

by the 90s, when people got tired of "toxic” action heroes, there was this switch to less overtly "hard" men, with less muscle and more romantic/familial desires. this is the era of kindergarten cop, twins, jingle all the way, batman & robin, last action hero, AND JUNIOR.

for anyone who doesnt know, junior (1994), is about a couple of fertility scientists (arnold and danny devito) who decided to secretly go ahead with human testing when the fda says they cant. long story short, its a movie about arnold having a baby. while certainly of its era and by no means perfect, junior is one of the only examples of a mainstream hollywood movie positively depicting male pregnancy. a bit like sleepaway camp, the story treats the characters with such sympathy that the transphobic idea (a comedy about how "crazy" it would be for a man to have a baby) loops back around to being actually really cathartic and comforting.

terminator 2: judgement day (1991), is another touch-stone of arnold transgenderism for me because it completely swaps the roles of the final girl (sarah connor as played by linda hamilton <3) and the hard-bodied action man (arnold). we see sarah’s sweaty, muscular body before her face, just like we did so many times before with arnold. the terminator becomes a father figure, playing with john connor and learning how to experience human emotions, while sarah is reloading machine guns and looking badass and trying to murder people for the sake of “the greater good.” its a complete reversal of the archetypes, which is fun already, but it also proves that the argument made in the 80s (anyone can become Action Man) is true. sarah worked hard and now she is the action hero instead of arnold. the gender of her role in the movie has totally changed. 

i could go on, but that’s the gist of it!  arnold’s post-governor films haven’t read as transgender as he early work (for me anyway), but it has been a while since i really properly studied his work so i might have more to say about them someday.

and literally anytime anyone anywhere wants to talk about this stuff, or to see me shoot my transgender beam at a specific action movie, dont hesitate to reach out!!!!! i mean it!!!