#re-recorded

[octoberconstellation]

I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

but you are not the kind of boy

who should be marrying the wrong girl

[hinamie]

theyre soft your honour

[see-arcane]

When I read about the relationship between Jonathan and Mina on jstor or spark/cliffnotes, it's always "their marriage is sexless, the only time it was not was when they had their child" and the reasons aside from "stoker hated sex with women" or "they are too spiritual, they see sex as lowly carnal desires" is that "They never write about having sex in the book". And I'm like. Why... would anyone... put anything regarding their bedroom activities on the How To Hunt A Monster Files. Not only that, it's been edited for every one among them to read. Why would Mina put "his dick game strong last nite" on the groupchat. Are readers suffering from object permanence? Do I disappear to you mid-peekaboo??

Mina: “Almost done with the manuscript. Hmm. Should I leave in the part where you [REDACTED] my [REDACTED] until [REDACTED]?”

Jonathan: “Maybe trim that down to me being like a new man. Perhaps leave out the bit where you [REDACTED] me until I [REDACTED] and needed the cane to get around for the day as well. Not vital to the narrative, after all.”

Mina: “True.”

Jack, listening through the wall, white-knuckling his lancet: “Dear Phonograph, the audience and I are being robbed.”

[finnickodaiir]

When I think back on the Fearless album and all that you turned it into, a completely involuntary smile creeps across my face. This was the musical era in which so many inside jokes were created between us, so many hugs exchanged and hands touched, so many unbreakable bonds formed. So before I say anything else, let me just say that it was a real honor to get to be a teenager alongside you. And for those of you I've come to know more recently than 2008, I am ecstatic that I'll get to experience a bit of that feeling with you in the very near future. Now that I can fully appreciate it in its whimsical, effervescent, chaotic entirety.

Fearless was an album full of magic and curiosity, the bliss and devastation of youth. It was the diary of the adventures and explorations of a teenage girl who was learning tiny lessons with every new crack in the facade of the faIrytale ending she'd been shown in the movies.

Fearless (Taylor's Version) - April 9, 2021

[vickozone]

For the TMA fandom.

(I have the whole episode on that tape)

It was very worth it for how mUCH IT COST ME

[egophiliac]

Do yoy like their silly little dance

the inside of my brain at any given moment:

[zaralovestaylor]

“reputation taylor’s version” this and “debut taylor’s version” that…what about her

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Having thoughts about Taylor writing “Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past” in the prologue for Red (Taylor’s Version).

[ca-dmv-bot]

Customer: THIS IS THE NAME OF MY REAL ESTATE COMPANY PREFERRED PROPERTY MANAGEMENT AND REAL ESTATE. AND I LOVE SELLING REAL ESTATE! DMV: LOOKS LIKE PEE PEE MORE Verdict: DENIED

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[emeraldblonde]

Zack Fair in Final Fantasy VII Remake: Episode INTERmission

[scringee]

It truly is a resident evil 4 ass post

[umemiyan]

i’m thinking of a specific version of sugar baby/house husband satoru who’s the type to sit on a floatie in the pool and stroke his dick, not caring if the stuck-up neighbors hear him. he walks around in his boxers and slippers—maybe a flimsy button-up that’s not closed or covering anything at all. he goes out and checks the mail or walks the dog with a soda in his hand and waves at people with a weird smile on his face as if they don’t know what it sounds like when he gets himself off (or when he gets you off)

he flirts with meemaws at the grocery store at 10am (if he gets up that early) because they all think he’s big and strong and handsome when he gets heavy or high items down from the shelf for them. he sits in his underwear at the computer and plays video games with foreign teenagers online.

he goes out shopping and tries on like 80 different outfits (including strange hats/skirts/dresses/etc.) and takes a bajillion photos, some of which he sends to you. catfishes creepy guys online and argues with people on reddit for fun.

he decides to paint the mailbox weird colors or work on a scrapbook he plans to give you one day. doordashes ice cream and laundry detergent because he forgot to get some at the store (and he was craving sweets). he lets the neighbor girls play with his hair and put makeup on him before someone sees and says “don’t play with that man, he’s weird,” but he would never do anything to them. burns a batch of cookies because his foreign online gaming bff braxton from california said he needed him for a last-minute raid.

he puts on a random dress from the closet and dances weirdly around the house to loud music while he cleans up the mess he mostly made. stands in the middle of the living room and rubs one out to a photo of you because he just had the sudden urge (and now he has another mess to clean up). has to set a timer to make sure to start thawing the chicken early for dinner because he started a new drama show and keeps forgetting, and you’re starving when you come home.

does any of that on a given day but when you ask him what he does while you’re at work he just says:

[muffinlance]

Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???

Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:

Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.

"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.

None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.

An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:

I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it

I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.

Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”

TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.

[buggachat]

lovesquare keeping secrets from each other conflict PART TWO LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO