#rattites

[raethereptile]

Tumblr Sexyman: Animal Edition

[abbieducted1961]

Gort Breaks Into My Home (ok he pulled up)

[herpsandbirds]

Common Ostriches (Struthio camelus), (L) female and (R) male with chicks, family Struthionidae, Southern Africa

photograph by Elske van der Belden

[wheel-of-fandoms]

Are they though?

They are part of Palaeognathae, and cladistically fall within the rattite radiation, but I thought "rattites" was an informal name that describes a grade rather than a clade, namely birds without a keel on their sternum.

Global distribution of Ratites

[coulsonlives]

When you visit /r/rats looking for info and end up spending an hour laughing about rat balls

[cody-gakpo-archive]

Not to be like this but to be like this, Barca really lost against the fucking fascist in Madrid like the fucking disrespect of that

[typhlonectes]

Fossil of Ancient Bird Three Times Bigger Than an Ostrich Found in Europe        

The fossil is about 1.8 million years old, meaning the bird may have arrived on the continent around the same time as Homo erectus

Giant birds of the past have names that speak for themselves. The elephant bird, a native of Madagascar and the largest known giant bird, stood at over nine feet tall and weighed in at a whopping 1,000 pounds or more, until it went extinct about 1,000 years ago.

Australia’s mihirung, nicknamed “thunder bird,” which disappeared nearly 50,000 years ago, is thought to have been nearly seven feet tall and weighed between 500 and 1,000 pounds. But until now, no one had ever found evidence of these towering avians in Europe.

Today, researchers describe the first fossil of a giant bird found in Crimea in the Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology. Dated at around 1.8 million years old, the specimen makes experts question previous assumptions that giant birds were not part of the region’s fauna when early human ancestors first arrived in Europe...

Read more: Smithsonian Magazine

[theoneofwhomisblue]

Holy shit rat weed rat weed rat weed rat weed

Yup, it was the rats. You couldn't find any of the weed we seized because rats ate it.

[naturepointstheway]

What operating system do ostriches use? 

OS Trish.

[abominationimperatrix]

A short list of extremely-specific lesser-known mythical monster tropes which I didn’t expect to be super widespread:

1.  Ogres which, when slain, spawn huge amounts of mosquitoes out of their bodies.

2.  Humanoid horrors that lurk at the tops of cliffs and kick passerbies down off of the ledge so that their mates and/or offspring can kill them.

3.  Depraved ex-human cannibals for whom one of their feet has rotten away into a spike of bone which they then stab people with.

4.  Creatures which resemble pitiful old men and beg people to carry them but their legs are actually tentacle-like “straps” which they use to kill or enslave their victims.

5.  Hairy ogres with axe-heads sticking out of their chests.

6.  Grotesque female humanoids with enormous, pendulous breasts, one of which they throw over their shoulder.  (That last detail specifically shows up more times than you would think possible.)

7.  Flying detachable heads.  Organs hanging down frequent but optional.

8.  The “animal that cannot lie down,” i.e. a monster without joints in its limbs that, you guessed it, cannot lie down and has to lean on things.

10.  So.  Many.  Backwards.  Feet.  Usually as a means of making trackers think they went in the opposite direction.

11.  Swallowers.  I.e., monsters that swallow huge amounts of victims but keep them inside in their stomachs before spitting them out when slain.  Most famously present in Sub-Saharan Africa, but basically everywhere.

12.  Bisected humanoids.  Creatures with only half a physical body, cut vertically.

13.  Headless monsters with faces on their chests.

14.  Natal revenants.  The undead remains of women who die in childbirth, usually as some sort of ghostly Succubus.

15.  Female creatures with hollow backs, the main giveaway of their supernatural nature.

16.  Living meteor demons that spread disease.

17.  Chicken-snake hybrids.

18.  Rattite-snake hybrids.

19.  Parrot-snake hybrids.

20.  Monsters that fly around in the atmosphere, and if you look at them you die.  (Related to number 16.)

21.  In arid regions, RAINBOW TASTE YOU.  (Because it signals the end of much-needed rain and is therefore seen in a negative light and personified as something malicious.  

22.  Owl demons!  Tend to be witchy/hag-like.

23.  Succubi whose only giveaway of their monstrousness is a single hooved foot.

24.  People cursed into becoming weird donkey-things.

25.  River blockers.  Monsters who block off water supplies in order to cause droughts, and must be slain for that reason.

26.  Monsters who inflict some kind of seemingly unsurvivable body horror on you, before resurrecting you long enough to go home at which point you promptly die for reals this time.

And many, many, more, but I’m tired right now.  Might update later.

Update:  Wow!  I did not expect this blow up, or for this many people to be interested!  This was very spur of the moment and off the top of my head, I assumed I would just be infodumping into the void.  I’m going to write up examples for all of these, I’m just going to need a little bit of time to get my sources in order to make sure they I don’t misrepresent or misremember anything.  How common a lot of these are varies, some tend to be primarily amongst neighboring cultures in specific regions, others tend to be downright global.  And some have dozens of instances while others are more like that Doofenshmirtz meme.  (I’d only have two nickels but I’m surprised it happened twice).  

[kingdomoftyto]

Had an irresistible urge to make teeny tiny gryphon sprites today

Hummingbird/shrew, cardinal/chipmunk, barn owl/house cat, peafowl/cheetah, flamingo/spider monkey, and--my personal favorite--penguin/sea lion.

P.S. here they are actual size:

[delta-pavonis]

I once was very earnestly asked by a bunch of 15-year-olds if ducks have feet, so yeah, owls not having tongues tracks.

Gods, I can think of so many birds who would get up to so much asshattery if they had teeth.

Holy Cow I just read a veterinary article, generated by a content company that sells blog posts, that recommended dental care not just for dogs and cats, but also for smaller animals ‘like birds’.

Birds.

[herpsandbirds]

A gang of unruly Emus (Dromaius novaehollandiae), family Casuariidae, central Australia

photograph by David Cook

[lordy2]

Making rattits an open species, if ya want more info on the bastards, feel free to ask (ft. Railway the Rattit)

What makes a rattit?

-lengthy limbs

-not prone to muscle, pr squishy

-unnatural colours

-unique markings

-whip thin tails

-pointed, rabbit ears

-prone to scarring, as they are a result of a mutation catastrophe

(If this is already a concept, I will apologise and just, not make it an open species, I’m not interested in starting fights)

[monday49]

I was watching a nature show about Australian animals and voila: Southern Cassowary.

[typhlonectes]

Five Fascinating Facts About the Amazing Cassowary   

They may look pretty scary, but they’re actually pretty cool

by Kat Eschner

What animal is around six feet tall, weighs over 100 pounds and can kick people to death?

The southern cassowary, of course. The bird, which is important to Queensland, Australia’s unique tropical rainforests, is the one most commonly associated with the name “cassowary” although there are two other species of cassowary.

Cassowaries have a reputation for being scary, and that reputation is somewhat well deserved. But they're also fascinating. In celebration of World Cassowary Day on September 24, here are five important facts about one of the world’s coolest creatures...

Read more: Smithsonian Magazine