#(especially if said dinosaur is a cassowary)

[naturepointstheway]

What operating system do ostriches use? 

OS Trish.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

@sebastianshaw​  Hey, remember when I said that Potoroo Park was the dumbest thing I’ve ever written?  I take it back.  It’s this.  This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.  You have my deepest apologies. 

Dreams

Pyro was wearing one of his very old outfits – tight-fitting white pants that flared out at the ankles and a shimmery purple shirt. That was his first clue that something was wrong.  The second clue was that he appeared to be standing in the sand at Bondi Beach, one of Sydney’s most famous and popular tourist spots, instead of his familiar cabin on the Marauder.  

The third clue was the crowd of people rushing past him, screaming in terror.  

“What – “  A panicked surfer slammed into him before he could even get the question out, knocking him into the sand.  For a moment, Pyro was furious because the pants stained so easily, and he’d spent most of his paycheck for that last article on this outfit, and then he remembered that he hadn’t worn any of these clothes in decades.  They’d all gotten sold off at second-hand shops when St. John Allerdyce was packing up his civilian life and running off to become Pyro. He’d worn a lot more red and orange after that.    

The stampede continued around him as he picked himself up, and he could hear voices in the crowd.

“Emus!  The emus are coming!”  

“What?”  

“Emus, mate!”  One of the fleeing beach-goers stopped for a moment to push him along, and Pyro found himself running in spite of himself.  “They won the war and now they’ve turned on us!”  

“What?!”  

“And they’ve allied with cassowaries!”  

“Oh, fuck!”  And then Pyro was running in earnest.  Tourists were always fooled by cassowaries, with their vibrant blue heads that were so very pretty.  To hell with those those murder peacocks.  They were basically feathered dinosaurs, and they’d kick your guts out like an extra on Jurassic Park.  

The fact that none of this made any sense at all did not occur to Pyro.  He was too busy flailing as an errant foot sent him down into the sand again, this time getting stepped on by a few people.

“Augh!  Fuckin’…….gettoff!  Gettoff ya cunts!”  He pushed himself up, dazed, as the crowd receded into the distance, fully intending to burn every god damn one of them, which they totally deserved for trampling him into the dirt like that.  Although he might have to burn a few cassowaries, first.

Two booted feet suddenly appeared in the sand before him.  Pyro looked up, and immediately regreted it.  

The man wore thigh-high black leather boots, and what appeared to be a red diaper held up by odd suspenders crossed over his chest.  And nothing else.  Pyro was not a prude, or someone disgusted by the male body (quite the opposite, in fact). But he had no desire to see anyone dressed like that.  Especially not Fabian Cortez.

“You poor dear, those brutes have left you behind! Are you hurt?”  With a dazzling smile, Cortez offered Pyro a hand up, and the threat of murderous birds on their heels was enough to make him take it.

“Not to worry, my beauty,” Fabian continued before Pyro could even respond.  “I’ll save you!  You can be part of my harem when I defeat the emu army and am declared emperor for life!” He swept Pyro into his arms with surprising ease, and began sprinting down the beach.  

“Put me down, you sleazy piece of – “  Over Fabian’s shoulder, Pyro saw a cloud of dust on the horizon behind them.  The ground rumbled with the sound of powerful, clawed feet.  “Never mind, please keep carrying me.  And run faster.”

“Haha!  Don’t fret, my precious flower!  Those birds are no match for the mighty thighs of Fabian Cortez!”  

“Uh-huh, that’s great.  But I’ll just torch a few to discourage them from getting too close, shall I?”  The dust cloud was getting bigger, and Pryo could faintly see beady eyes and geaming claws in the mass.  He felt in his pockets for his lighter.  Then he felt again.  Then he desperately ran his hands all along his body, praying that he had it in some shirt pocket, even tucked away in his shoe.  

“Stop fidgeting, my cuddly koala!  I know you must be going nearly mad with desire, being so close to me, but please control yourself until I can deal with this crisis. Then I promise I’ll give you full and complete satisfaction, until you faint from sheer delight.”

“Where’s my bloody lighter you wanker?”  Pyro yelled, yanking on Fabain’s long red braid. “I need my lighter!”  

“You don’t need that!”  Fabian argued.  “You only need me!”

“I.  Need. My.  Fucking.  Lighter,” Pyro growled, punctuating each word with another yank on the braid.  He tried to focus on the anger, and not on the panic that was bubbling up in his chest.  No lighter meant he was completely and utterly exposed.  His powers meant fuck-all without fire for him to grab hold of. Because God forbid the fire-manipulating guy actually be able to create fire, right?  That would make things too easy.  

“Don’t get hysterical, my darling wallaby!  Upon my word as a gentleman and supreme mutant, I’ll protect you.  We just have to get to the high ground!”  

“What high ground?”  Pyro exclaimed, but suddenly they were right in front of the Sydney Opera House.  Which was miles away from Bondi Beach, nowhere near running distance, but what the hell.

“We shall climb to safety, my exquisite dingo. And from there I can come up with a strategic plan to save the country –“  Fabian was interrupted as a cassowary charged at him, kicking and squawking.   He jumped back with a rather undiginified squawk of his own.  The birds were all around them now, jabbing and kicking with beaks and claws.  

“Never mind, Allerdyce, it’s every man for himself! I’ll remember your sacrifice, my dearest Tasmanian devil!”  Fabian dropped Pyro, leaped onto the wall and began climbing.

“Wait just a damn minute, you piece of – “   Pyro began climbing himself.  It shouldn’t have been possible to scale Sydney Opera House, but somehow he was doing it, and very quickly went from the main building up onto the shell-like half-domes that protruded up from the roof.

“We’ll be safe up here, my sweet funnel-web spider! Emus and cassowaries are flightless birds!”  Fabian called down.

“I know they’re flightless birds, I’m from this country!”  Pyro looked down for a moment, at the dark mass of birds gathered below him.  There were thousands of them.  Which wouldn’t be a problem if Pyro just had his damned lighter, but of course he was one of the few mutants that needed some outside “help” to use his powers. Fuck genetics right up the arse.  

But it was okay, as long as they stayed up high on the building.  

Wait.  There was a flurry of activity down below, and Pyro saw, to his disbelief, the birds starting to stand on each other’s backs.  

“Climb faster, Cortez!” he yelled up, but soon they reached the tip of the tallest shell, and there was nowhere else to go.          

“I don’t suppose there’s the slightest chance you’ve got some matches in that diaper of yours, is there?”  Pyro asked in despair.

“I’m afraid not, my beloved duck-billed platypus. The only hot thing inside my pants is – “

“Shut UP, Cortez!”  Pyro looked down, and immediately regreted it.  The emu-cassowary “ladders” were working their way up the building.  

“Look!  Up in the sky!”  Fabian pointed at a dot far in the distance.  “Is it a bird, or perhaps a plane?”

“That’s not really a pressing issue right now, Cortez!” Pyro snapped, but he paused to look at the dot all the same.  It was quickly getting bigger, as if approaching them.  In a moment, it took shape, revealing the sillouhette of a man.

That in itself wasn’t so strange.  There were all sorts of mutant flyers, both men and women. But there was something especially odd about this one.  There were thin, wing-like appendages that seemed to be protruding out of his face. Then the figure came close enough to recognize, and Pyro groaned.  This was the only thing that could make his day worse.

“Greetings, friends!” exclaimed Sebastian Shaw, looking far cheerier than usual.  “It seems as though you need some assistance!  Let me read to you from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People!”  

He was wearing his usual rich-as-fuck business suit, but…his hair.  Pyro realized with growing disgust that Shaw’s sideburns had grown freakishly long and seemed to move of their own accord, like the tentacles of some deep-water sea creature.  It appeared to be the primary thing holding him aloft.

“Shaw, what the fuck?!”

“Who is Shaw?”  Sebastian looked innocently confused, a completely alien expression on his face.  “I am the Flying Capitalist, my friends, and I’m here to help people help themselves! I know that with the proper encouragement, you two can overcome adversity, just as I once did!  I worked 13-hour shifts in the foundry starting at age 9, and it made me the man I am today!  Here, have some applications for a management training program!”  Shaw tossed paper down at them.

“Or maybe you could carry us out of here?” Pyro asked.  “Since you can fly and all that…..somehow.”  The sideburns fluttered like pennants for the world’s most disgusting baseball team as Shaw bobbed up and down with the air currents.

“Yes, save us, Flying Capitalist!”  Fabian begged.  “Or at least save me, if there’s only room for one!”    

“Oh, I could carry you to safety.  But would that really be helping you?”

“Yes!”  Pyro exclaimed.

“Nonsense!”  Sebastian waved a hand.  “The real assistance is to help you help yourself.  After all, give a man a fish and he eats for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he becomes your competitor. But, teach a man to sweep floors and carry buckets of cod, and you can employ him at minimum wage in your fish processing plant!  Everyone wins!  But especially me!”  

“What the absolute bloody fuck are you talking about?”

“There are no free rides in this life, son,” Sebastian continued, now looking stern.  “I’ve done all I can at this point.  You’ll have to get yourself out of this.  Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and levitate!”  

“That’s completely impossible!” Pyro said.

“Nothings impossible if you’ve got will and drive! It’s the American way!  They said I’d never bring sideburns back, but look at me now!”  

Pyro was trying not to.  The horrible, undulating waves of hair stretched too far across the sky.

“Just pull yourself up, Allerdyce!  You can do it!  Actually, I doubt you can, but it doesn’t matter.  Progress and industry don’t slow down for the incompetent.” Sideburns flapping, Sebastian started to rise into the air again.  “Read Atlas Shrugged!”

“Shaw, have you got a lighter?  At least toss me a lighter!”  Pyro called after him.

“Boooootsraaaaaps……”  came Sebastian’s voice, faint on the wind as he flew away into the clouds.    

For a moment, Pyro and Fabian looked at each other, then back down at the ground.  The emu and cassowaries, piled atop each other, had created a massive living wall that was now dangerously close.

“Maybe we can negotiate?”  

“With who exatly?”

“I think that’s their leader!”  Fabian pointed at a small figure, perched atop the head of the central cassowary.  If Pyro squinted, he could see that it appeared to be wearing a tiny crown and mantle.

“Oh look at it, it’s so cute!”  Fabian gushed.  “Look at its little whiskers and paws!”  

It was cute.  The tiny rodent – Pyro thought he remembered it having some silly name….pootalo?  Poorooto? – gazed up at them with unreadable black eyes.  It twitched it’s adorable little nose, and held out a tiny paw.  Then it turned the paw in a very clear thumbs down gesture.  

“Oh, for fucks sakes!”  Pyro exclaimed as the emus surged forward, up towards them.  

“Maybe we can appease them with a sacrifice!  Forgive me, my petite salt-water crocodile.  I’ll never forget you!”  Cortez grabbed Pyro and attempted to shove him off the ledge.

“Like, hell, Cortez!  You’re coming down with me!”  Pyro wrapped his hands around Fabian’s neck and held on as they tipped forward past the point of no return.  For an instant they were tumbling down towards the sea of birds and the cold dark eyes of King Potoroo –

Then, Pyro jerked awake and felt himself hit the floor.  He flailed around frantically for a moment, and realized that he was sprawled in his cabin on the Marauder  

“Ugh…..”  Pyro lay still while the wave of nausea that always accompanied his hang-overs washed over him.  This time it was accompanied by a sense of relief as the nightmare faded.

“What the god damn hell was that all about?”  Pyro muttered aloud.  Was it some kind of extremely problematic expression of suppressed guilt for living in a country founded on colonization?  Pyro didn’t really dwell on it, but he was well aware of Australia’s bloody history.  Was it his own underlying insecurity about his powers, which at times seemed to reduce him to “guy with flame-thrower”?  Was it a twisted version of his latest romance novel, first draft still halfway completed?  Was he somehow punishing himself for past crimes by dreaming about the two worst people in the entire world?

As his vision came into focus, Pyro spotted the bottle lying next to him.  Tequila, laced with mescaline, which Shinobi had acquired on the black market.  Shinobi, who was still on the bed, snored peacefully, with every inch of the sheets wrapped around him in a satin cocoon.  

Well, that explained it.  Throwing on a pair of shorts, Pyro staggered out to the top deck, and tossed the bottle overboard.  Never again. 

FYI: Fabian is wearing this outfit from the terrible sci-fi movie Zardoz.  I’m so sorry.

[intj-confessions]

I don't care about MBTI stuff. Tell me more about birds.

What do you want to know? I have a good general knowledge as it was my major for a while, but my specialty is psittacines (parrots).

Random facts I guess:

Owls have facial disks that funnel sound to their ears, which are asymmetrical. This helps them better pinpoint sound.

Most birds just have a cloaca (one hole) through which they shit and reproduce. Ostriches have a kind of penis though and so do ducks (and theirs is like a corkscrew). Female birds have a single ovary. In flying species, the gonads shrink when it’s not the breeding season, to reduce the amount of weight the bird has to carry.

Flighted birds have a bajillion adaptations for flight. Their keel bone is larger, their bones are honeycombed to make them light yet structurally sound, and they have a multitude of air sacs that allow them to take in a LOT more air with every breath.

In falconry, you use a hood to keep birds calm, but hoods can’t be used on owls, due to the shape of their heads. You use a sock instead. (this is based on an Intro to Raptor Husbandry course so if you’re a falconer feel free to correct me) 

Parrots like small, dark, enclosed spaces because they nest in tree cavities. If you have a pet bird, you don’t want them scoping out locations like this.

Birds have regional dialects.

There’s been all sorts of studies related to bird song, like are they born with it or do they learn it from their parents, and if they learn it, how early. (sadly I don’t recall the answers, but it’s pretty darned young)

They can feel magnetic fields and see polarized light (at least migratory species).

Parrots can absolutely know what they’re saying when they use language, if they learned those words in context.

Parrots can count up to six and corvids can count to seven.

Cassowaries basically have to be treated like modern day velociraptors and you’re supposed to carry a 6″ thick wooden shield to protect yourself when in their pen.

If you find red stuff in a commercial chicken egg that’s not an embryo. Hens can totally lay without a male (in laying breeds, male are euthanized as chicks). As an egg goes through the reproductive tract, layers are added on--first the yolk, then the albumen (white), then the shell and pigment. The red stuff is usually tissue from the oviduct that’s sloughed off. Sounds gross, but it’s perfectly edible.

Commercial eggs in the U.S. must be refrigerated as they are washed, which removes the protective cuticle. Freshly laid eggs can be kept on the counter as long as they’re not washed.

The U.S. has pretty shitty legislation when it comes to animals. We have the Endangered Species Act, which was designed to be a good thing but causes lots of problems. It’s meant to help preserve native species, but states often add nonnative CITES animals, which limits who can keep said animals and how they can be transported. This means that private aviculturists working to preserve endangered species often can’t get new bloodlines, because sales across state lines are prohibited. The AFA had to fight for years to get the golden conure removed from the ESA.

Most birds have a shitty sense of smell. They don’t need it. Vultures and albatrosses are an exception.

Speaking of albatrosses, they spend most of their lives in flight.

Mating “for life” doesn’t mean monogamous. Birds pair up to raise chicks, but it’s not uncommon for both sexes to get some on the sly, especially if this dude has a better nest site and that dude has better plumage.

Cuckoos are nest parasites. They’re amazing and horrific. Prime example of nature is brutal.

Speaking of brutal, shoebills have two chicks which then fight highlander style because there can be only one. The parents will feed the winner and let the other baby, if it survived the fight, die of starvation.

Birds are fucking modern dinosaurs.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Flying Type

Moving on, next up is the Flying type. Flying type is a type that I feel like should be right up my alley, since that's where almost all the birds are. (Of course worth mentioning Flying type was almost called the Bird type.) But Flying as a concept is perhaps on the underwhelming side. It mostly gets treated as an add-on to airborne Pokemon that don't already have a secondary Typing.

I do like a number of the Pokemon in the Flying type of course, but not necessarily because they're Flying type, y'know? It's a lot like Normal in that it's a fairly non-descript type by concept since a number of Pokemon could be “Flying”. I'd personally rather have a more traditional Wind element, which despite Pokemon's leaning on Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors, “Wind” by name is absent despite having Water, Fire, “Nature”, Ice, and so-on present.

And obviously Flying does occasionally get treated like a “Wind” type, all the moves that are big gusts of wind get to be Flying type, but Flying also gets very specific bird-like actions as moves. Pecking, Flying dive-bombs, and even something as specific as parroting someone else's action gets to be Flying type.

That said, I’m not sure if Flying can really get retooled into a “Wind” type at this point. It’s a little too integrated into the current Pokemon sphere that most things that float off the ground have the valuable immunity to Ground type. If we were to change Flying to Wind and chop Flying off of anything that would pass as mono-type since it’s not heavily associated with wind, could you reasonably expect them to ALL sacrifice their own abilities in favor of Levitate? Hmmm.

The typing can occasionally get some neat uses, but other than that, I tend to like its Pokemon more than the type itself, really.

Top 10 Favorite Flying Types:

Bottom 10 Least Favorite Flying Types:

The Cutest:

The Coolest:

The Prettiest:

The Spookiest:

Weirdest/Most Unique:

Most Inventive Use of the Type:

More like... which ones among this type full of birds and winged insects aren't either of those things? There IS Hawlucha but it's easily the most inventive in terms of BEING a bird.

FLYING TYPE WISHLIST:

NOTE: These Type Wishlists were written out before any news on new Pokemon from Sword and Shield. The Pokemon revealed over time will not affect these wishlists. Just to present them unaltered despite spoilers and in the interest of getting the wishlist out there, and to see which items on said wishlists get fulfilled by Sword and Shield!

I'm just gonna shove all my favorite birds that aren't in Pokemon yet here k thanks.

A proper Cardinal:

Yes, we got some easy cardinal stand-ins thanks to Fletchinder, so it doesn't hurt too much to not have them present just yet.

A Hummingbird:

How have we not gotten one of these yet?! Especially since they'd be a shoe-in for the Fairy type!

A Raven:

I know Ravens are aesthetically very similar to crows, and we already got one of those. But I'd still say it'd be really neat to have one of the spookier birds out there as a neat Ghost/Flying type perhaps. I just feel like they aughta avoid Dark. We already got the niche of black Dark/Flying bird filled with Murkrow, and Fakemon (Mine that I made 10 years ago include) are ALWAYS making their ravens Dark type.

Blue Jay:

Bonus points if they go for an asshole with a heart of gold angle with them. Blue Jays often get a bad rap for being loud, obnoxious, and ill-mannered birds. But in actuality, Blue Jays (though possibly inadvertently) will warn smaller birds and other Blue Jays with their loud call that predators like cats and birds of prey are around. They'll even mob these predators to keep them away from feeding areas! Yeah, they're still being huge jerks to the predators, but they're sticking up for the smaller, more vulnerable birds!

Potoo:

If they're going after meme animals lately, Potoo is PRIME Pokemoning potential.

A Peacock:

Yet another one that I'm surprised hasn't happened yet. I can only hope it's because they just have too many ideas for what a neat peacockmon would look like and can't decide. Because I certainly know that feeling.

A Flamingo:

These lovable little weirdos are up there with peacocks for one of the more requested birds to be made into Pokemon. And I personally would find it hilarious if they played the tacky flamingo lawn ornament into their look somehow.

Secretary Bird:

Now here's a bird with some kick to it! This bird's unique in that its primary method of attack is delivering some swift kicks to prey. A good candidate for the Flying/Fighting type!

Nicobar Pigeon:

And while we're getting on more exotic birds, let's take a look at the poor Dodo's closest living relative, which is this fabulous looking long-hair-having pigeon. Just imagine all the ridiculously flamboyant Pokemon you could make out of this thing alone.

Cassowary:

Sure, let's stick a flightless bird in there because I wouldn't know where else to put it. I've always loved these Cassowary weirdos because, even minding modern science has taught us birds are the modern evolution of dinosaurs, the Cassowary just straight up looks like a still-living dinosaur. With that wicked bony head crest and those big T-Rex-like legs it has. Whenever we get around to finally having an Australian-based region, I'm definitely crossing my fingers for one of these!

[Archive]

[bbparker]

I Quit You. (Tony Stark x Reader)

Summary: Tony and (y/n) have been best friends for years and she’s always had feelings for him. Tony falls for Pepper and they begin dating, all the while ignoring (y/n). (Y/n) is fed up of being used and decides to make a change in her life. What will Tony do?

A/N: So this has been something I had started a while ago but only just finished! Let me know what you think!

ALSO - I LOVE PEPPER AND THIS IS NOT LIKE PEPPER’S CHARACTER AT ALL. I JUST NEEDED AN INSTIGATOR XX

Warnings: HURT!Reader (as in feels), Dramatic AF ( but same)

MASTERLIST

Your name: submit What is this?

A little curly brown haired boy with a striped shirt and blue pants stood next to a bushy (y/h/c) haired girl in ratty shorts and an oversized shirt. “Are we going to get in trouble for this?” The boy asks.

“Probably.” The girl responds a manic grin on her face, looking down to the hose running water down the now ruined lawn turned mudslide. “This might be my greatest idea yet!”

———

“It was her worst idea!” Tony Stark laughed recounting another story from the summer of their childhoods to Pepper. “In my defence, you supported me… so, you’re just as much to blame for our torn clothes. Anyways it’s getting late- I better head home to the hubby.”

“You mean your incredibly overweight cat?” Tony laughed, looking down softly to his best friend, somewhat admiringly.

“That would be the one…” laughs went around before (y/n) hugged pepper gently, almost reluctantly. When she got to Tony, both stare for a small second before he swung his arms out dramatically and (y/n) hugged him tightly; a little too tightly. “Must you make it your mission to hurt me all the time?”

“Not all the time.” (Y/n) laughed smiling before pulling back giving a slight kiss on his cheek, as per usual. Walking towards the elevator, she heard Tony call, “we’re still on for tomorrow right?” Softly laughing, (y/n) entered the elevator. “Always, I’ll bring Rhodey-”

Turning around just before the elevators doors closed, (y/n) could see that Tony’s attention had already left her and was on his current girlfriend ‘for the season’ she thought.

———

That season turned into a year and before (y/n) knew it she was almost non-existent in Tony’s life. The daily adventures and long chats turned into maybe monthly quick hellos. Now (y/n) knew as people grew older they tended to grow apart, but (y/n) knew this wasn’t the case. She blamed Tony’s girlfriend Pepper, for dragging him to all these fashion shows and lunch dates. Now, Tony barely had any time for his best friend and what bothered (y/n) is that he didn’t even seem to notice. The only time he did is when he’d had a panic attack during the night and Pepper wouldn’t comfort him, choosing to sleep on the couch instead. (Y/n) didn’t mind comforting him, he was her best friend she’d always be there; it just seemed he wasn’t for her.

(Y/n)’s phone began to call, knowing nobody else but Tony could possibly be calling at 4am, she answered right away. “Hello?” She groggily whispered.

“Hey, (y/n)… uh what are you up to?” It was a game that she had created to get his mind off his dreams and anxiety. It involved her coming up with the most elaborate story of the craziest thing she could be doing at 4am- unbelievable but, it worked for them. “Right now, I’m sitting on a beach in Australia, my toes are in the white sand and I’m drinking my $100 bottle of champagne. I can see the whales in the distance, diving and making a splash above the water…” and on she went on the elaborate scene. When (y/n) was done, there was a slight pause before Tony surprisingly continued talking, whispering like an afterthought. “You always wanted to go to Australia, ever since you found out how deadly most of the animals are there.” (Y/N) lightly laughed. “Yeah, they have this giant bird called a cassowary and apparently it looks like a dinosaur-“ She was cut off by light snoring from Tony’s end.

“Goodnight Tony…I love you.” Hanging up, (y/n) was now wide awake. Why was she always in this position? She was the shoulder to cry on but never the one to hold. Deciding to get up and get some work done rather than just sitting there, (y/n) let her thoughts wander. Her thoughts led her to the thought of tomorrow, yet another day to be ignored. Something like the twang of a guitar sting rung inside of her causing a sick feeling. (Y/N) had a feeling tomorrow was going to change, she would make sure of it.

——

The next day came and with it came a confident and renewed (y/n). Strutting into the Stark building with a bright smile and her newest outfit, she felt like she could take on the world.

“Good morning (y/n)!”

“Morning, Miss (y/l/n)!”

Everybody seemed to perk up at the girls revived self, her having been looking like hell for weeks. It seemed everybody but one had noticed. Strutting to the meeting room, her 10 o'clock had already arrived and sat waiting. Opening the door, (y/n) walked elegantly into the room and held her hand out to the first person she saw. Her charisma during this time seemed to have an effect on the newest buyers, all having a hearty conversation before the cat dragged in, literally and figuratively, Tony ‘the man’ Stark.

Seeing the scene before him, Tony pauses as everyone looks to him. “Wait, what’s happening right now? I thought you said my meeting was at 10 sharp Pepper?”

“According to your schedule, it is, Tony.”

So maybe (y/n) had a lot of time last night and altered his schedule slightly, all apart from her plan. “Yes, well as late as you may be Mr Stark, Miss. (Y/L/N) has done her job beautifully as your representative. In fact, you’re lucky to have her.” The balding dark-skinned man turned to (y/n), “if you ever want a change of scenery, I will gladly open a position for you within my company! Pure brilliance!” Success! Just as she’d hoped, someone as brilliant and successful and Mr Chapman recognising her potential.

Shaking hands with the clients as Tony and Pepper stood struck in the doorway, (y/n) smiled brightly. “I’ll be sure to think about it, Mr Chapman. Thank you for your time.” They left and the three awkwardly remained in the room. “What just happened?”

“You were late to your meeting, so I gave the delivery for you.”

“You’re not allowed to do that.” Pepper sternly said, eyeing (y/n).

“Actually, I can and I will as representative of Stark Industries- it’s in my job description. Look it up.” Turning to the Stark man who wasn’t even listening, “Tony you have a meeting in five minutes with a Mr Coulson.”

Tony all but ignored her and turned to his love, Pepper. “Clear my schedule, I wanna spend the day in the lab.” Then he walked out with Pepper, continuing to talk to her… only her.

(Y/n)’s confidence broke. No matter how good she dressed or how many people she impressed, nothing would be enough to mask the hole (y/n) had in her heart. When two people are together for such a long time they both give a little of themselves to each other; when one pulls away, the other loses that little part and a heart can’t pump without all its pieces.

That guitar string had returned but instead of a twang, it sounded more like a snap. The string was broken and (y/n) wasn’t sure she wanted it to be replaced. She was done. With Tony, with Pepper and this stupid damn job. Storming out of the conference room (y/n) made a beeline straight for the retreating Tony and Pepper.

Sliding around them, she stopped in front of them, causing Tony to take a double take and pepper to sneer. “Tony Stark.” He scrunched his nose as if she were an idiot because she thought he’d forgotten his own name.

“Since the day that bully pushed you down, I have been there for you, mended you and at one stage actually put you back together. Hell, I’m still doing it now! Yet, after fifteen years of friendship, I’m discarded like trash because your girlfriend of this season decides she doesn’t like me or you’re too busy for me! Which I know you’re not because dude, I’ve seen your schedule. To hell with that. I’m your god damn best friend and I deserve to be treated like one instead of just another worker in this fucking company. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been in love with you for nearly half my life, the point is-“

“You’re in love with me since when-“

“that I’m still the closest thing you’ve got to a family yet I feel like you are killing me from the inside out. You used to be the one thing that kept me going but now you’re the one killing me. I haven’t slept properly for weeks because your girlfriend can’t even act like one and comfort you!”

“Actually, It-“

“Zip it, French fry! I might not have minded losing the sleep so much if you actually acknowledged my presence once in a while. It has been a year and honestly, I’m starting to think you have no place in my life. For these last couple months, I was thinking that I didn’t deserve you throughout those fifteen years and you’d finally noticed; but in reality- you won’t deserve me in the next fifteen thousand years! So you can take your stupid ass friendship, my stupid love for you and OH!, You’re dumb ass job and stick it. I am so done with you-“

A finger went right in Pepper’s face, before coming back to (y/n) as she took offer work badge and shoved it into her work folder. “AND especially… you.” On the last syllable, (y/n) slammed the folder into Tony’s chest as his hands instinctively grabbed it. Looking up, (y/n) could see his now very pale face and shiny eyes. “I quit this job. I quit my love for you and I especially quit this friendship. Goodbye, Anthony.”

With a huff, she turned away from the two struck people and walked into the elevator just as the doors were closing. If only she could read minds, (y/n) would be able to hear Tony’s last thought before she left.

“Please, don’t.”

~Not to be continued~

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[radramblog]

Australian Birds Tier List

Me and the gang ware currently, actively watching a cool and good nature documentary about birds of paradise and their looks and dancing which is what inspired this nonsense. And it’s got to be Australian birds, because we’ve got so many good ones (though this does mean I can’t assign S++ tier to the Best Bird, the Red-Tailed Hawk).

Unfortunately, I don’t know a massive amount about the local wildlife. Fortunately I’m surrounded by people who can insist I’m making the wrong choices. And also let me know what I’m looking at. So some of these are going to be informed opinions. Probably not most of them? Anywho.

Aight as always tiers go from D to S ascending and opinions are mostly mine.

D tier, as it so often does, only gets one member. The Ibis. The infamous Bin Chicken. They don’t look that bad, but they’re worse than seagulls when it comes to ganking shit from your bins. We’ve got a couple in the local area, and it’s bin night tonight, and you bet your ass they are up in everyone’s business. They always have the most sheepish look when you catch them doing it, to.

Wait, I just realised Seagulls weren’t on this list. Nor are Pelicans? Actually there’s a lot bloody missing here isn’t there…?

C tier is somewhat more populous.

First off, going right to left. The.. purple swamphen? Apparently? Even our resident knows-Aussie-wildlife mans isn’t 100% certain. After a quick google, that is what it looks like. These things aren’t native to WA, so I have no opinions to have about it. I’m sorry, purple swamphen fanatics.

Next is the BLOODY GALAH. They’re pink, they’re feathery, there’s giant flocks of them in my neighbourhood, and they sure are birds. There’s just so many of them nearby, man. They’re the pigeons of suburban Perth. (For reference, the pigeons of urban Perth are pigeons.)

Next there’s the…brushturkey? Another I don’t know, another not native to WA. This one gets a lot of bonus points for being flightless. Love me a flightless bird, and we’ll get to more.

Final member of C tier is the humble Magpie. Just kidding, nothing about these motherfuckers is humble. They’re smart, they’re violent, and they’re coming for your eyeballs. I’ve never been swooped myself, but I’ve heard horror stories. With that said, they’re also iconic, and I can’t help but respect the hustle, like, im pretty sure you can train these bad boys and bend them to your whims. And who doesn’t want a butcher bird army?

 B tier, the ones I feel generally more positive about. B is for birb, after all.

Firstly, white fuckin cockatoo baby now my main issue with these fellas is that like 90% of the ones I’ve seen have been in cages. And that’s just sad, isn’t it. But they’re handsome and I believe pretty smart, and that’s a hard combination to pass up. Look at this fella. Cutie.

Next up is the Kookaburra, possibly the most overrated Australian bird. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in an area full with these guys, but they are nooooooooooisy. As well, when I was younger, we had a gumtree in our front yard that they loooooved nesting in, and would routinely litter our grass with honky nuts- especially when we were trying to clean it up. That might be the most Aussie thing I’ve ever written, but here we are. They’re iconic enough to get a B, it’s not like I don’t like them, but they can be annoying, you know?

Speaking of the ones everyone knows, we got the Emu. Big lanky boys. Very polite, frankly. There was a couple of them vibing in Exmouth town centre last time I was there, and they were just hanging out. Couple kids and an adult, very cute. I think they get a lot of cred as like, Our Thing, but we have a lot of those, and my hipster heart cannot help but resent the popular thing a little bit. I do like the way they bob their head though.

At this point its been like an hour since I actually made the tier list (we’re watching Bumblebee now) and I’m wondering why the fuck I put Cassowary over Emu. Probably something to do with them being literal actual Velociraptors. Dinosaurs are fucking cool. Cassowaries are absolutely terrifying, frankly, and in some ways that can be a good thing. It is good to keep a healthy respect for the wildlife around you. I feel like these are basically the epitome of the meme that everything in Australia is deadly, but maybe that’s ok.

Finally, the Rainbow Lorikeet. On the one hand, they’re fucking pretty. On the other, they’re invasive to the state and pretty aggressive. On the other other hand, they’re real pretty.

A tier babyyyyyyy

Now I love me a bird of prey, and the Wedgie is no exception. I think Hawks are better, personally, but an eagle is fine too. As far as football teams go, it’s easily the reverse, and I assume the Wedgie is the eagle being referred to for the West Coast Eagles. Clearly the best footy team, Dockers aren’t as good. Very enjoyable birb.

Next, the Cockatiel- aka the Weiro. I don’t know much about these birbs. But I know that they are adorable. And that might just be enough sometimes.

Next of all the Crow. Take everything good and cool about the Magpie, and remove the parts where they hate people. They’re sleek (but not edgy like a Raven), they’re smart, they look and sound cool. Love me a fuckin Crow.             I know some people find the Caw Caw annoying. In someplaces they’re, like, Harbingers? But they’re good boys.

Finally, the S tier birds. Extremely good and cool birds. Only two here.

First of all: the Aussie Kestrel gets a lot of points for being an extremely cute and good bird. Seriously, look up photos. It’s fucking adorable. It also gets many a point for having the name Kestrel, because I’m very nostalgic for FTL. I understand Kestrels are a relatively common species worldwide, but the ones here are particularly cute. That’s pretty much it.

And finally, the Fairy Penguin. Take your standard penguin. Cute waddly flightless bird, genuinely considered one of the gold standards for cuteness.

Now make it smaller and cuter. That’s the entire bit. That’s the tea, sis.

What you want closing remarks? Nah, fuck that. Later, nerd.