#ration card issue

[gayday]

i wish i didnt have to specify to people but i really wish it was like. common courtesy (online and irl) to not purposely antagonize strangers just because theyre sensitive

[strang3lov3]

Scrub Daddy

QZ Joel visits you for a bath and a little extra (4.7k)

Tags - smut, dom!joel, mean!joel if you squint and I mean really squint because he does in fact fuck you with a certain kindness in his heart. dirty talking you through it. Ah, fuck it. Who am I kidding. pervy!joel too. dubcon, coercion, unprotected PIV, hand job, nyasty QZ joel eats it from the back, ass play and a tasteful amount of ass eating, nipple play, come shot, sex work, takes place in a brothel, JOEL SOUP (bathing that old man), Joel Miller hog reveal (it’s gargantuan, ludicrously capacious if you will), Joel Miller enjoys the finer things in life ie. pussy, Joel Miller tummy. Joel Miller's broad shoulders come with their own warning. Fic help - @beefrobeefcal @noxturnalnymph @endlessthxxghts Thank you all for your brains and eyeballs! A/N - MONTHS AND MONTHS LATE BUUUUT this is for my sweetheart @merz-8 who so generously streams herself playing TLOU and red dead for me 🩷 this fic is inspired by the many times she bathes Arthur. Mercy I love you!!!!!

Joel turns the tap on his shower and with his eyebrows raised, waits quietly to hear the sound of water rushing through the pipes in the wall. Nothing. “God bless it,” he mutters. The water’s been shut off for the past month or so in his apartment complex. He pays extra to have it but alas, nothing fucking works in the QZ. Everything’s broken down, falling apart, or will fall apart - it’s just a matter of time. 

Joel’s got limited options. He could visit the showers downtown, get hosed down like a dog with cold water that feels like knives in his skin, although the showers don’t open until 5AM tomorrow morning. He could wait it out, though he’s pretty fucking rank; he needs a shower yesterday. He could also rinse off at the sink with a damp rag. 

He thinks to himself, hands on his hips and biting his cheeks, weighing his options. Damp rag it is. Joel opens his linen closet and takes his ratty, stringy old rag with him to the kitchen. He wets it with the water from the five gallon jug allotted for drinking, then reaches for the FEDRA issued bar soap that’s meant to be used for everything - hand washing, dishes, laundry, et cetera, et cetera. Joel takes off his shirt and then lathers the bar soap in the rag, the clean and flowery smell permeating the air. He loves this scent - he doesn’t always get this specific one when he picks up his hygiene supplies once a month. God, when did he smell this last? Feels like deja vu. It’s so familiar, it couldn't have been too long ago…

Then the memory hits him: the whorehouse over at the old hotel. That’s where he smelled this soap last. It’s in the men’s rooms but more pertinent to Joel at this moment, it’s the soap used in the bathing rooms - different from the men’s rooms. Joel scoffs and puts the soap and rag on the kitchen counter. Yeah, he smirks to himself, that’s where he’ll catch a bath tonight. He puts his denim shirt back on, stuffs some clean clothes into his leather backpack and heads off into the night for the hotel. 

Joel’s strategic in how he gets there. Curfew’s at six, and it’s eight right now. FEDRA’s not too kind to those out after hours. He moves stealthily through alleyways, avoiding the harsh, white light of the soldier’s flashlights shining from above. Once at the old hotel, Joel knocks in a particular pattern on the side door. On the other side, a man peers through the peephole and verifies Joel’s identity, then opens the door just enough for Joel to slide on through, his belly rubbing against the edge of the doorframe.

It’s dingy on the inside, dark and lit sparingly only by some candles. Joel makes his way to the front room where a different man sits at a table. Joel reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his ration cards, flipping through the notes with a practiced flick of his thumb. “M’in need of a shower,” he says, laying the cards down on the table. He scans the room, recognizes a few familiar faces. 

The man covers the notes with his hand and slides them toward himself, then counts the cards through and nods. “Fourth floor, third door on the right.” 

Wordlessly, Joel heads up the staircase, knees cracking on about every other step. God, he’s getting old. Once at the fourth floor, Joel heads for that third door on the right and pushes it open with one hand, unbuttoning his denim shirt with ease using the other. 

This room is different from the others at this brothel. It has no bed, no carpeting, no soft surfaces of any kind that would be typical for activities performed in a place such as this. This room has just one large bath tub in the middle with a small table next to it, and in the corner is a small lamp, covering the room with a low golden glow. Once-green peeling paint covers the walls instead of torn floral wallpaper and cracks cover every tile on the floor below. Joel peels his clothes off and wraps a faded pink towel around his waist, his tummy bulging over the edge. He waits patiently next to the tub for a knock at the door. 

-

Your hands are wobbling in the dressing room. There’s really not much to dress yourself with, no makeup or anything like that. One of the girls suggested melting a colored pencil with some hot water or a lighter and then using that to paint your lips and cheeks, but she wouldn’t share her own with you. In the mirror, you fix your hair and straighten your borrowed dress, breathing deeply to try and calm your nerves. It’s your first night working here at the brothel, and you’re really not sure what to expect. 

Your boss, Jim, knocks on the dressing room door as a courtesy, but doesn’t wait to make sure everyone is decent. He just waltzes right in and announces to you all that there’s a client in room three waiting for bath assistance.

“Do you know who it is?” one of the girls asks Jim. 

“Yeah,” Jim answers. “Joel Miller. Who’s taking him?”  

The girl who gave you the tip on the colored pencils turns to her friends and whispers, then turns back to you. “You should take him,” she tells you. “You’ll love Joel, he’s nice. Very gentle with his girls. A real lover.” 

Her smile feels disingenuous, and it doesn’t help that her friends are laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” she lies. “And here–” She pulls out her lighter and a bubblegum pink colored pencil that’s stained black from repeated burning, and lights the end of the pencil on fire so that it melts a bit. She drips it onto her fingertips, then harshly smudges it onto your lips, biting down on a facetious smile. “Yeah. Joel will love you.” 

She doesn’t let you check your appearance in the mirror before ushering you to the bathing room, her hands on your lower back as she pushes you to the door. She slaps your ass, then heads back to the dressing room with the other girls, barely concealing a giggle in her wake. 

You inhale and exhale deeply, then knock on the door. The man - Joel - opens it for you and guides you inside, then locks the door behind you. Clad in nothing but a towel, he crosses his arms as he looks you up and down with a slow scan of his eyes, which makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. His brow is pinched together, he’s biting his inner cheek. His expression turns from studious to curious. 

The first thing you notice  is how handsome he is, you can’t even help yourself. His crossed arms strain his big, thick biceps. He has a full head of curly, graying hair, and a full set of teeth. Tall. He’s towering over you with a hulking form. His top lip sports a big, thick mustache, and his face is covered in a perfectly patchy beard. Sharp. He’s got a sharp nose, sharp jaw, and a sharp look in his inky dark brown eyes. You don’t know what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t him. 

“Name’s Joel,” he says. “Your turn.” 

You tell him your name, and Joel reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips. “S’that your real name?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 

Fuck. “N-no,” you lie. 

Joel chuckles. “So you’re the new girl, huh?” 

“Mhm.” 

Joel laughs again. 

You squeeze past him to get to the tub, then twist the knobs of the bathtub, twisting them quicker when the water doesn’t come out. Joel watches you struggle for a minute, then comes up behind you and puts his strong hand on your lower back, fingers pressing against your ass. “Y’got it all wrong. Do it like this,” he instructs quietly, pulling up on the knobs, causing the water to come pouring out of the spout. He twists the handles himself, holding his hand under the running water to test the temperature. “See?”

“Mhm,” you nod. 

“Learn somethin’ new everyday, don’tcha?” 

Joel rounds the tub, then pulls out the tucked in end of the towel on his waist. You quickly turn your head in the opposite direction, garnering another chuckle from him. Every time he laughs at you, you feel worse. “No point in lookin’ away,” he tells you. “You’re gonna see it whether you wanna or not. Jus’ the nature of these things.” 

Joel hands you his towel, then steps into the long tub. From here, you get a good look at his naked form. He’s muscled beneath his softness, no doubt stronger than an ox. He’s broad, with vast shoulders and a relatively slim waist in comparison. His member is substantially sized, even soft, as it is now. His balls are even bigger, heavier. 

The bathwater moves as Joel’s weight sinks in, rocking back and forth in the tub. He sits down and stretches his legs out, the water running over his feet. You keep your distance as you fold Joel’s towel while waiting for the tub to fill the rest of the way, familiarizing yourself with the toiletries nearby. Washrag, shampoo, bar soap, plastic cup, a tub of petroleum jelly, a glass, and a bottle of whiskey. When the tub is filled, you shut off the water. 

Joel pours himself a large bit of the whiskey into the glass, “Quiet one, ain’tcha?” Joel says to you, then downs his drink. He pours another, then sips it. 

You shrug, unsure of how to respond to the man. You’re not really sure if you’re supposed to talk and if so, what you should say. You move to the end of the bathtub where Joel rests his head, then reach for the cup and fill it with Joel’s bathwater, then wet his graying curls. Little ringlets still form around his neck. 

Shampoo comes next, so you take the small bottle from the table. With wet hands you twist the cap, but it doesn’t come off. Joel waits patiently as you dry your hands on your dress and try again. 

“What’s goin’ on back there?” 

“The uh, the shampoo,” you say. “I can’t get the cap off.” 

Joel reaches behind himself, “I’ll give ya a hand,” he says, and you put the bottle into his palm. He unscrews it with ease, then hands it back to you as he tells you that you seem nervous. “Wait a second,” he says, “C’mere,”  and taps the edge of the tub with his right hand. 

“There?”

“Yeah, sit down.” 

Bottle in hand, you sit at the edge of the tub. “Closer.” Joel tugs you by the arm. “Ain’t gonna bite ya.” 

You pour a bit of shampoo into your palm, then Joel takes the bottle and sets it on the little table. You reach forward and scrub the soap into his hair, quickly working it into a lather. Joel watches your face closely, how you avoid looking him in the eye. He dips his hand into his bathwater then reaches for your face, his steaming hand on your jaw as he uses his wet thumb to wipe away the colored pencil that was hastily rubbed on your lips. You’re stunned, and Joel watches you with dark and hungry eyes, a little bloodshot too. “Pretty one, aren’t you? A girl like you shouldn’t be workin’ here.” 

You ignore him and continue washing his hair, tangling your fingers in the sudsy, thick curls. Joel holds your chin tighter and forces you to look him in the eyes. “You’re not givin’ me the silent treatment, honey, s’posed to talk to your clients. Make a man feel human. Answer me.” You’re intimidated immediately. If he is who the girls call nice, then…

“Wasn’t my first choice of a job,” you admit quietly. 

“How’d you end up here?”

“I needed money,” you whisper. “And the other girls said they wanted someone on bath duty. But that I wouldn’t have to-” 

Joel laughs loudly, cutting you off. “Oh, bless your fuckin’ heart. No, you’ll have to put out,” he says. “Job ain’t just washin’ dirty old men, sweetheart, that’s what a nursing home’s for. Those girls were fuckin’ with you. Sorry.” Joel gestures for you to continue. 

Your blood goes cold. You feel sick, even more nervous than before. Looking through the water, you see that Joel’s already hard for you as well.

“Go on. Speak.”

 You swallow thickly. “They also said you’re nice. Gentle.” 

Joel nods, then sips on his drink. “That’s some wishful fuckin’ thinkin’. Not me, darlin’. Think they’re hazin’ you. But-” Joel sets his drink back down, “-I’ll behave myself, be a gentleman for ya. Scout’s honor.” 

He says it so earnestly that you feel inclined to believe him. “You promise?” 

“Cross my heart,” he says. “I’ll break ya in real nice,” he adds under his breath. His little comment - or rather, what feels like a threat, has you flinching. “Relax, relax.” Joel holds his hand to your waist, keeping you close to him. “You’re fine. I treat all my girls nice. I told you I wouldn’t bite. You’re fine,” he repeats. Joel reaches for the plastic cup and fills it with his bathwater, then gives it to you to rinse his hair with. He closes his eyes, groaning softly. You’ll hear those same groans escaping his lips later when he fucks you, eats you alive. 

You admire his profile, that sharp slope of his aquiline nose, pouty lips and dark eyelashes. Water cascades down his thick neck and the broad planes of his freckled chest, landing into the pool of suds. After rinsing his hair, Joel takes the rag and the bar of soap and wets both, then hands them to you. You lather the soap on the rag, then Joel takes the soap back. You scoot closer to him and begin washing his neck and the muscles surrounding, scrubbing the rag into his skin. 

“Feel tense, don’t I?”

You’re not sure how to answer. “I guess, yeah,” you mumble.

“Yeah, you’ll fix that. Get me right.” 

Joel leans forward and tilts his head down, sighing as you scrub his broad shoulders, leaving little tracks of soap suds on his body. “Lil’ harder, sweetheart,” he groans. “Put some muscle into it.” 

You rub harder into his skin with the rag, massaging those tight muscles in his back and shoulders before lifting his heavy bicep to scrub his arm. Joel lifts his free arm and reaches for you, then tugs the front of your dress down, exposing your cleavage. “S’posed to show me a little skin, darlin’,” he murmurs, his hand lingering on your breast as he rubs his thumb left and right over your skin. “Gotta earn them tips somehow, right?” It makes your face heat up and your heart beat harder, faster. His fingers feel like electricity on your skin as he dips his hand lower, catching your nipple with his fingertips. He rubs the bud until it’s pebbled, then twists it between two fingers, causing you to gasp in pleasure. Joel smiles at that. 

Flustered by both his words and his actions, you pull his hand out of your dress, and Joel wears a crooked smirk. He outstretches that arm for you to wash, and you scrub his limb with the rag, speeding through the activity out of uneasiness and nerves. You drop his arms and quickly pat your hands off on your towel, then get up to leave. 

“Nuh-uh.” Joel grabs your arm and pulls you back down so that you’re sitting on the ledge of the bathtub again, the water splashing a bit when you land. “You ain’t finished yet. Legs need washin’, don’t they?”

“Umm…” 

“Think you’re forgettin’ somethin’ important too,” Joel mutters under his breath. He props his leg up next to you, and you can see his heavy balls and his thick cock standing at full mast beneath the water. With the rag, you scrub up to his knee. 

“Higher.” 

About halfway past his knee. 

“I said, higher.”

You scrub his upper thigh beneath the water’s surface now, washing right where his leg meets his hip. Impatient, Joel pulls the rag from your hand and holds your wrist, then guides your hand to that space between his thighs, wrapping your fingers around his shaft. “Right here,” he instructs you. “I’d reckon a man’s member certainly needs washin’ too, don’t it? ‘Less you like it dirty. Some of us do.”

You quickly stroke Joel’s shaft, just a quick slide of your hand up and down. Joel holds your hand under the water, “Keep goin’,” he mutters. You move your hand and down again, though your back aches from the angle and you have a difficult time reaching him. Joel notices your struggle. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“I can’t like- you’re too far-”

“Mm. I getcha,” Joel says, nodding in understanding. “Stand up for a minute.”

You stand up off of the ledge of the bathtub and Joel shifts in the tub, the water sloshing with his movements. He puts both of his dripping hands on your waist and then turns you where he wants you, then begins bunching up the fabric of your dress. “You do the rest,” he tells you. You pull the dress off of your body, feeling insecure under Joel’s watchful gaze as you fold the garment. “Panties too.”

You shimmy your panties down your legs and tuck them beneath your folded dress, which amuses Joel. So modest, so bashful. Those qualities of yours won’t last long here in the brothel.

After setting the clothes down near Joel’s belongings, you make your way back to him. He’s holding out his large, masculine hand for you to take. “C’mon in, there’s plenty ‘a room for us both. Watch your step,” he warns, using his strength to guide you into the tub. “Attagirl.”

You lower yourself into the bath, the hot water making your skin tingle. “Yeah, the water feels nice, don’t it?”

“It feels good,” you agree. You’ve always loved a hot bath, a rare luxury in the world you live in. 

“Now, where were we?”

Joel pulls you through the water so that you’re straddling his thick thighs, the head of his cock nudges against your pussy which sends a flutter through your stomach. You wrap one arm around Joel’s shoulders to stabilize yourself, your other hand staying below the water’s surface as you once again find his cock. This isn’t so terrible. 

You pump Joel’s cock, memorizing every vein on his shaft with the palm of your hand. He tilts his head back in pleasure, brows knit together as he sighs deeply. 

“Am I doing okay?”

“Doin’ just fine, hon’,” Joel mumbles. “All the way up, all the way down. Jus’ like that.”

On the next pass, starting from the thick tip of Joel’s dick, you squeeze him on your way down, down, until you reach his balls. You give them the kindest of squeezes, earning a moan from Joel. “S’perfect. Fuckin’ A,” he hisses.

And all the way up again. You increase in speed, though to avoid splashing, you don’t work him too quickly. You can feel him pulsing under your touch, a sensation that has your core throbbing. He’s breathing heavier, surely getting close now. You squeeze him harder and incorporate a twist of your wrist into your movements, coaxing his release along. 

Just as you find your groove, Joel stops you. “Yeah, nice try, kid. I ain’t payin’ for a fuckin’ handjob. Could do that shit myself for free.”

Joel spins you in the direction opposite of himself, then nudges you forward. He puts the items sitting on the wooden end table on the cracked floral tile below, then pushes the table over to your end of the bath, the wood creaking and groaning. 

He lifts you up and leans you over the edge of the bathtub, having you rest on the table, the cool air on your wet skin causing goosebumps to erupt. From here, you can see all the cracks in the wood, the swelling from the water damage. “Spread them legs, sweetheart. Make room.” 

The water splashes behind you as Joel moves into position and you brace yourself for the inevitable pain of Joel’s cock splitting you open. 

Only, it doesn’t come. You feel Joel’s thumb sliding through your folds before he spreads you wide, exposing your asshole and your pussy to himself, a picture perfect view. 

“Such a pretty cunt,” he whispers. “A fuckin’ shame it’ll get ruined.”

Joel presses a kiss to your asshole, then kisses his way down to your warm center, before finally dipping his tongue into your warm entrance. He groans at your taste, how sweet on his tongue you are with his face between your cheeks. He kisses his way up, up again, then spits on your tight hole. He circles the muscle with his tongue, tracing round and round before forcing his tongue inside. It’s fucking filthy, what he’s doing to you. All salacious and obscene. But you love it, god do you fucking love it.

“Yeah, old Joel ain’t so bad, is he?” Joel murmurs tauntingly into your flesh. He kisses his way down again, all sloppy and messy. He loves the sweet little sigh of relief you breathe out when he reaches your clit, the area you need him most. He moves his lips slowly against you, loving how you grow slicker and slicker. How your soft cunt feels against his face. Joel breathes you in deeply, taking in the scent of your arousal. No chance in hell he’s washing his face after this. Your musk will live in his facial hair for days, acting as somewhat of a comfort to him. Or perhaps a trophy. 

With his tongue pointed, Joel traces along your folds before plunging into your slick hole once more. He could spend forever between your thighs, that soft, sweet, most private of places. The momentary reprieve could last eternally, if he were so lucky. 

Joel savors all of you. Your hot, wet cunt, how your hips twist and turn as you chase your own pleasure. When he sucks your clit, he can feel your thighs twitch around his skull. Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect. He has half a mind to take you back to his apartment when he’s done with you, keep you all to himself. Leave you lying naked in his bed, be his little slice of heaven in such a cruel, fucked up world. 

Joel circles your clit with his tongue, finding that perfect pleasure that has you moaning his name. Steadily, steadily, he keeps you like this until you’re coming for him, gushing all over his face as he fucks you through your release with his tongue. 

You’re left breathing heavily on the table, trying to collect yourself. Joel leans over you and wears a cocky grin. “What’d I tell you, huh?” he asks. “Told you I take good care of pussy. Shoot, look at ya, all fucked out.”

You can’t help but smile at him. Joel moves behind you once more, spreading your legs wide and slotting himself between them. 

“But,” he says, “Fair’s fair. My turn now, sweet girl.”

Joel tugs on his cock, as it’s softened a bit without any stimulation. God, he’s getting old. Once at full mast again, Joel drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, all slick and slippery with your wetness. “Ready?” he says, notching himself inside you. It’s already a painful stretch. 

“Mhm,” you hum, uncertainty lacing your tone. 

With one hand guiding his cock inside, Joel has the other on your hip. He squeezes you comfortingly as he inches his way inside. He can see that you’re squeezing your eyes shut, wincing in pain. “Oh, I know, I know, I know,” he coos. “S’a tight fit, I know. Take a deep breath, breathe through it. You got it,” he says. “You are a professional after all, hm?” Joel teases. 

You inhale and exhale deeply, your walls stretching and aching as Joel’s thick cock pushes deeper and deeper inside you. 

“Halfway there,” he tells you. “S’easier f’ya let me rip the bandaid off.” He’s not asking your opinion, it’s a warning of what’s to come. A courtesy, perhaps. 

Joel pushes inside you all the way, the slide inside your body has him groaning and throwing his head back. The intrusion of his cock is so sharp it shatters you and scrambles every thought inside your head and you feel impossibly full, every other sensation disappearing as your mind focuses only on what you feel between your legs. 

Joel pulls out of you slowly, then pushes back in. He repeats the motion until your expression has softened, until you’re not biting your lips and your brows relax into a natural position. “There she is,” Joel praises you. “What a good girl. Knew you had it in ya. Good fuckin’ girl.”

He builds a steady pace, quickening it to his liking in time. His thrusts are fluid, deep, and intentional; he fucks you perfectly, with consideration for both you and himself. This, this was not what you were expecting. You feel both of his strong hands squeezing your middle, and Joel watches how your flesh bulges between his fingers. 

“Joel,” you whimper. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, feels good. Goddamn, you feel good.”

The water sloshes as Joel slams his hips into yours, not that he gives a shit. He fucks you harder, faster, building that pleasure deep in his gut. Joel leans over you and finds your clit with his hand, pulling back the hood before rubbing tight little circles into the sensitive part. “Gimme another,” he breathes. “One for the road. M’gonna miss this pussy.”

Joel pounds into you, the tip of his cock hitting that special place inside you that feels so good, a primal sort of pleasure. All you can do is lay there and take it, let him guide your orgasm along with his measured thrusts and skilled fingers. It’s only a little longer of him drawing in and out of you, and then you’re coming all over again. It’s a hot and intense, all-consuming sort of pleasure. A sensation you’ve never known before now, before Joel. Fucking nothing compares. 

“Oh, fuck. Christ almighty,” Joel groans, feeling your cunt squeeze around his shaft in non-rhythm. He looks down at where his body meets yours, the creamy rings of arousal you’ve painted onto his cock. Joel quickens his pace even further, hips stuttering as he frenetically pounds into you. You groan at the loss of him pulling out of you, but your displeasure is swiftly soothed by the feeling of his hot spend painting your backside. Rope after rope of his come, all warm and sticky. 

It’s quiet, save for the splashing of water. Joel searches for the rag and the soap from before and lathers both, then scrubs his come off of your skin, which tickles you. “See?” he says. “What’d I tell ya. M’a gentleman. Somethin’ like it, at least.”

Joel steps out of the tub and dries his hair, turning it into a fluffy mess. He pats his body down next, and in your blissful, fucked-out state, you get a perfect view of his plump ass before he dresses himself. He combs his hair back with his fingers, then reaches into his pocket for some ration cards. 

“Let’s see here,” he murmurs, licking his thumb before flicking through the notes. He pulls out a generous amount, then slaps the cards down on the end table where you rest your head. “Think we’re square. You come and find me if I’m short, though, yeah?”

“Okay,” you whisper, barely lucid. 

Joel pushes some hair out of your face and bends down to kiss your cheek. “Until next time,” he says. “Keep outta trouble.”

-

IF YOU ENJOYED PLEAE TELL ME SO! I love talking to you guys, and I love how you make this blog feel like a community. Reblogs, comments, ASKS!!! Are all so appreciated. Mwah. Have a safe week, everyone 🩷

Extra kitty pics cuz I love ya.

[wantonlywindswept]

another trope inversion of GAR/Guard interactions:

the GAR is entirely aware that Coruscant is a shit posting.

they're not blind; they can see all the anti-clone sentiment when they're on leave. even when they're deployed, it's not like they're cut off from all news - they know how many times bills for clone rights have gone to the Senate floor and been ruthlessly voted down. they can see how even their Jedi are restrained by the Senate dragging its feet and making bad choices and handling the war like it's a game of dejarik since it will never affect them personally.

very few politicians have the respect of the clones.

but the Guard still have to work with the spoiled, self-centered bastards, and the GAR knows that they're not being treated well. but what can they do? they have no rights, the Jedi are as trapped under the Senate's thumb as they are, and it's not like they can get regular citizens to do anything.

so they offer their support as much as they can. any Guard, any Corrie who needs help, all they have to do is find one of their brothers and it will be offered without any questions.

you'd think that crime rate would go up when battle-traumatized soldiers are given leave on a city-planet like Coruscant, but it actually goes down.

way down.

the thing criminals come to realize is that if you are being chased by one of the Guard, if ANY other clone catches sight of you, it is ON SIGHT. clones in casual clothes carrying food and drinks have dropped everything to immediately join a Guard's hunt, throwing themselves into the pursuit with glee and an energy that the usually-exhausted Guards often lack. (some of them howl. those, the criminal underground agrees, are the worst.) 

and with hundreds or thousands of clones wandering around during battalions' leave, it's possible to run into one of them anywhere. and they usually travel in packs.

best just to lay low for a while.

when it leaks that the Guard regularly run low on supplies, all sorts of things start to go missing on the venators. just a box or a crate here or there, ration packs or bacta patches or cold-weather gear. there are millions of clones and thousands of ships; it's not like every little thing can be tracked by the quartermasters. 

(rex realizes that, for whatever reason, his battalion is always prioritized for resupply, and rarely any questions are asked about their requisitions. rex takes immediate and shameless advantage of this. rex manages, somehow, to lose two entire bacta tanks, along with the bacta to fill them.)

and ofc the idea that started this whole ramble - when a shiny Corrie stumbles somewhere where some of the 501st are shooting the shit, causing everything to immediately come to a halt. the kid is clutching his helmet and one of his pauldrons to his chest; his hair is mussed up and there are tears on his cheeks and bruises on his face and unadulterated panic in his eyes. 

there's an angry call in the corridor.

the shiny flinches.

fives grabs him, hears him squeak, snaps out orders. echo yanks off his bucket and his upper armor; jesse lunges for a blanket. they hustle the kid into a chair, drape the blanket over his lower body, hastily swap his upper armor and helmet for echo's. fives shoves the armor somewhere, doesn't matter, it's out of sight with the telltale red, and they all barely have enough time to drop themselves back into the chairs arranged around the table and pick up their cards before some natborn stomps into the room.

anything we can do for you, sir? sorry, no, the Guard didn't stop in here. we saw him head back down toward the rotunda, though. yes, sir. have a nice day, sir.

they close and lock the door. fives goes back to the shiny. fives was instantly prepared to help a fellow clone in need.

fives was not prepared for tears.

the kid gets snot all over the inside of echo's helmet. they take him back to Guard HQ. fox is painfully, desperately relieved to see him. fox looks too-thin and too-tired but there is a fresh GAR-issued bacta patch covering a slash across the side of his cheek. he thanks them for saving the shiny, like that's something that ever needs gratitude, but is swept away before any of them can say that. 

fives doesn't think that misplaced bacta and pilfered rations are enough support for the Guard anymore.

thankfully, rex and the rest of the GAR agree.

[just-a-ghost00]

A portrait of your ideal partner

Who's your ideal partner according to spirit? Do you think your vision of an ideal partner matches what the spirit realm reveals? Curious to find out ? Select one of the following characters. For each group, I divided the deck into 3 parts : major arcanas, court cards, other minor cards. The major arcanas will represent the archetypal qualities of the person, the court cards will represent their physical aspect and the other minor arcanas will represent aspects of their personality that are more hidden. The theme for this reading will be Disney's Lion King.

Group 1

Major arcana | The Chariot

The Chariot is associated with the sign of Cancer, ruled by the Moon and ruler of the 4th house. This archetype is water influenced. Qualities that would be associated with this archetype would be the following : dynamic, caring, understanding, compassionate, empathetic, proactive, loyal, observant, home body, family person, sensitive, dreamy, creative, moody, overly cautious, has pessimistic tendencies, can be clingy and manipulative, tends to overthink. Your ideal person according to spirit would be someone that is viewed by society as a good parental figure, someone that is a good listener and blends well within society. A person that doesn't cause trouble and understands the need of acting and thinking as one. If we take a very rigid approach to things, someone that as a man would be viewed as shy, reserved, loving and sensitive. A bit of a lover boy energy, maybe someone that wouldn't be considered as "manly" by society because of their pronounced sensitivity. A pure gentleman. If we consider "women" from society's point of view, a person that would be described as "feminine" : the typical loving mother archetype that people expect to stay at home watching over the kids and taking care of the house while being absolutely lovely and always pampered. Of course this is very cliché, but again, we're talking about archetypes. These tend to be stereotypes. Your ideal person could be someone that has a lot of artistic hobbies, someone that isn't afraid to express their emotions and be vulnerable in your presence. In terms of physical traits, a person that has a lot of softness to them. Someone young looking, with round features and curves, a fond smile and sparkling eyes. Maybe someone with curly hair or kind of a fairy look.

Court card | Queen of wands

In terms of physical traits, spirit sends us the image of someone rather feminine looking, with luscious hair and a lot of warmth to their presence. They could be someone of a different ethnicity than yours. Overall, a very solar type of person. Someone that, on the oustide, looks very approachable, sociable, outgoing. Even if they're not. So someone that smiles a lot, that looks very open in their posture. A person that wears very colorful and bold clothing. Someone that takes very good care of their body, that has a lot of sensuality. So probably a person that works out or does at least one physical activity as a hobby. Someone that appears as warm, comforting, confident. So, someone with a trusty back and big arms that would give you the best cuddles. There's also a fondness to their eyes. When you look at them, you instantly feel like you're melting. Everything about this person's aura or appearance is inviting and tempting, makes you feel incredibly warm and protected. Someone quite tall, with a solid and athletic build.

Minor arcana | 7 of pentacles

When it comes to their personality, spirit wishes for you someone incredibly patient and reserved. Someone mature, that will not be afraid to wait for you and support you. A person that takes things slow and carefully, methodically. That does not rush to conclusions, that does not lose their temper when faced with an issue. A person that takes rational decisions based on solid facts. Someone that is careful with their money, time, actions. That will provide you with a safe environment in which you can bloom at your own pace. A person that is loving and generous, reliable, understanding of your limits. Someone that will walk along side you instead of ahead of you. A person that isn't afraid to work hard to ensure a healthy connection. Someone calm, grounded, that will take your opinion into consideration and value you as a person. Someone you could safely envision a future with, having your own family, if that was something you wished. Because this person would have all the required qualities and strength to make a reliable and amazing parent.

Group 2

Major Arcana | Justice

Justice is commonly associated with the sign of Libra, ruled by Venus and ruler of the 7th house of partnership. This archetype is air influenced. Qualities that could be associated with this archetype are the following : analytical, fair, witty, diplomatic, sociable, charming, cooperative, rational, indecisive, has a tendency of overthinking, sensual, can be irrascible and sometimes carefree, can be extremely cutting with their words. If we take a societal approach of the Justice archetype, we have someone that would be viewed as irreproachable, perfect. Well established, professionally accomplished, always neatly dressed and prepared in any situation. Someone well educated, efficient in their work, well spoken, that cannot be tricked or easily manipulated. Someone that can sometimes be ruthless and cold, especially in business. A person that lives their life ruled by their head and not their heart. A person that has a tough shell that protects them and is not easily swayed by life's struggles. Someone that is loyal, protective and goes by the rules no matter what. A person that will stand up for what they believe in. Someone that can be admired by others because of their ethic and charisma. A person that never backs down and never gives up. But also someone that has a lot of responsibilities on their shoulders because of that.

Court card | Queen of swords

The queen of swords as physical traits depicts an image of someone that may look emotionally closed off, similarily to the Justice archetype. A person that may appear as cold from an external point of view. This may be someone that wears a lot of suits, clothing that isn't that colorful but rather tight fitting and gives a bit of a strict vibe. This person could wear glasses. Give off a bit of a nerd vibe as well. Someone that is elegant, graceful. Kind of a cold beauty vibe. I kinda pick up on a bit of a scorpionic energy as well. An intense gaze that could be highlighted by long lashes, very graphic eyeliner and so on. A very pale skin. A prominent jaw. A bit of a frown. Someone that doesn't smile a lot. That may have a bit of a "RBF". Someone that doesn't hold eye contact a lot. That may look like they look down on people when they're just lost in their thoughts. A person with long silky hair, rather dark hair. Definitely a beard for men. Someone that looks dignified, maybe a bit haughty. Someone that would look like they come from royalty because of how they walk, how they stand. A person that could be mistaken as a statue or a model. But still with a very feminine quality to them. A cold kind of sensuality that leaves you frozen in awe at how surreal they look.

Minor Arcana | Ace of wands

In terms of personality, this person would be way warmer than what they let on. A person that is extremely driven, ambitious, passionate. A person that is fun to be around and that encourages you in everything you do. A person that can be your best friend. Someone that always sees the bright side of things and brings out the best of you. Someone daring, charming, adventurous. A person that has a bit of a unique way of thinking, a very unique personality. A person that likes competition and challenges. Someone that would bring out your inner child. A person that would make you laugh, remind you of how beautiful you are. Someone horny and kinky AF. A bit of a child sometimes, especially around you. Someone that would be soft only for you. A person that maybe doesn't like PDA but who would gladly accept it if it made you happy. Someone that would give you butterflies with every smile, every stare, every touch. That would never cease to love you. A very exciting person to be with, someone that would help you celebrate yourself and life. A person that is a bit of a trickster and has a cocky attitude that you just cannot resist.

Group 3

Major Arcana | The Sun

The archetype of the Sun is associated with Leo, ruled by the sun and ruler of the 5th house. Qualities and traits associated with this archetype include the following : optimistic, confident, outgoing, ambitious, charming, charismatic, competitive, admired by many, succesful, has egotistical and narcisstic tendencies, can be jealous and possesive, creative, loyal, warm hearted, can be stubborn and arrogant, sometimes controlling, generous, sensual, protective, has great leadership qualities. Society could view this person as the epitome of success and perfection. This is someone that could be both admired and envied by people because of their qualities and life style. A lot of people would agree that your ideal partner has a lot of charm and can get anything they want in life partly because of their good looks and social skills. This is a person that could be described as a play boy/ play girl, a smooth talker. People could think that they get the pretty priviledge, among other things. From an outer point of view, I feel many people would misunderstand this person's nature because they would mainly focus on appearances without really trying to get to know them at their core. This could be a person that faces discrimination in all kinds of forms because of that. People would get easily intimidated by this person's looks and energy. The archetype of the Sun makes me think of someone popular, that tries to be friends with everyone, that may tend to people please to be loved and admired. A person that may fear being lonely and runs away from their solitude by surrounding themselves with people or keeping themselves busy. I also think of a person that would be very active in life in general because they have a lot of energy to spend, someone that would appear in public a lot and speak a lot, someone loud, colorful, bold. A person that would be the first to stand on a battle ground should it be needed. A person that causes a lot of chatter and rumours unintentionally.

Court cards | page of pentacles

When it comes to their physical appearance, your ideal partner according to spirit is someone that is rather simple and discreet. This person would dress neatly and take care of their body but they wouldn't put too much effort into it as this isn't their main priority. This would be someone rather young, possibly younger than you. Someone that physically doesn't appear as intimidating as people may portray them to be. Someone that looks rather stable and grounded, trustworthy and kind. A person with a shy smile and avoiding gaze, that may tend to bite their nails or play with the hem of their shirt in times of nervousness. If this person is viewed as attractive and beautiful by many, they play it down a whole lot. This would be a person that doesn't play with their appearance or try to emphasize their beauty. They would tend to hide a lot of their body, wear clothes that aren't as fitting and complimenting as to not draw attention. So maybe they'd wear oversized clothes, hoodies and hats to hide their face, actual masks even. Even if they may be wealthy, they wouldn't wear expensive clothes but rather very basic ones. This is someone that looks very humble and respectful. They may tend to look at their feet, hunch their back. They may wear headphones a lot or look avoidant. Regardless of their gender or ethnicity, this person would have a bit of a soft childlike vibe to them. Kind of a lost / head in the clouds student look. Their appearance would feel very natural. So no make up. No tattoos. No aesthetical surgery or excessive jewelry. They would have a very "basic" body shape. Something that doesn't stand out that much. They're not excessively muscular but they don't lack muscle. They're not excessively curvy but their body doesn't lack volume. A very balanced and proportionate body structure, same goes for facial features.

Minor Arcana | 6 of swords

When it comes to their personality traits, this would be someone that thinks a lot and always tries to weighs the pros and cons of a situation. Someone that is very thougthful and understanding of people's differences. This would be a person that is a good communicator and listener. Someone that is patient and soft, that would make sure that you are not left behind or feel "less than". This is a person that would think of you first and make sure you feel included. Someone versatile, empathetic, that can adapt to any situation. Someone capable of adapting your point of view, even if it may not always make sense to them, because they know how vital it can be for a relationship to find a common ground. A person that wouldn't be scared to leave behind everything they own and everything they know if it meant protecting and ensuring a healthy relationship. Someone that isn't afraid to set boundaries and cut ties with what doesn't serve them or the connection. A person that would prioritize quality time and communication. Someone that would be accepting of your differences, that would be reassuring and help you gain clarity in times of doubt. Someone that doesn't fear change and can bring change in the connection should it be needed. A calm and collected person, resilient person. Someone that wouldn't fear your past but wouldn't stay stuck on it either. A person with great analytical skills that could help you see things from a different perspective, broaden your mind and allow you to explore the depths of your ideas and visions. A person that would travel the world with you and wouldn't leave your side, no matter where you are or what you do. That would stick with you through thick and thin.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

what's keeping you away from genuine ways of expressing yourself?

this is a pick a pile tarot reading inspired by the new moon in leo, but is not specific to this particular moment in time. in astrology, the moon represents the unconscious mind, your emotions and in which ways your intuition works, while the zodiac sign leo is more oriented towards the ego, creativity and social relations. all of those things that tend to characterize this sign, usually means that some level of efficient and assertive communication is valuable for keeping away drama and misunderstandings, therefore, i thought about making this general reading to see what advice the cards have for something quite difficult for almost everyone: remaining true to our essence and being able to communicate that in a way that is genuine to us, our identity, our desires and our feelings, no matter who is listening.

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

images from pinterest and dividers by @fairytopea

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

˚ ༘ ೀpile number one ⋆｡˚

Your card for this reading is the King of Swords. What this tells me is that you value intellectual honesty, and you’re willing to go against your own emotions if that means that you’ll find the truth and that you are very likely to be perceived as someone who doesn’t have a filter or is too honest. It’s key that you understand that even if you don’t allow yourself to be guided by emotional attachments, other people do. Being highly logical or highly sensitive are both valuable, and both ways of thinking and acting have their pros and cons. But this card wouldn’t pop up if the logical ways of approaching things wasn’t causing some issues. Although holding yourself to a high standard of rationality when it comes to manifestations of the unconscious or the way you naturally relate to others can be beneficial, I feel as if that is also causing you to react coldly to your own emotions, instead of embracing them. You need to let go of the idea that things must be coherent and make sense all time, we are humans, and many of what makes us human doesn’t make too much sense or doesn’t work according to logic. Seeking order, patterns and structure in places where there’s not a big need for those, is not going to give you the truths that serve your personal development. It’s key that you take some time to embrace what seems absurd about yourself, without looking for logic, but looking for experiences that will guide you to the answers you need.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number two ⋆｡˚

The card for you on this reading is the Six of Wands. What I see here, is a lot of well deserved feelings of pride that you are protecting at all costs. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being proud, and I don’t even think this is the actual issue here. What’s blocking your most honest expressions is the fact that you are not allowing yourself the possibility of making a mistake, as you might feel this could take away from all the achievements you’ve had before. It’s key to know, when to be vulnerable, when to take a risk and where you are safe to try things out for the first time, but you are still not comfortable enough to embrace things about yourself that make you insecure, which is completely valid and understandable. In your case, I think that is okay if you want to preserve a sense of control over how others perceive you, yet it wouldn’t be healthy to allow others to expect things from you that are far too demanding to keep up with sometimes. It is necessary that you start setting honest boundaries with others and with yourself, in order to preserve a healthy sense of worth. Your value as a person is not defined by your achievements, or your failures, it is defined by how and why you do what you do no matter the result. When your intentions are honest and you are trying to better yourself or help others, it doesn’t matter what the final outcome is.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number three ⋆｡˚

Your card is the Chariot. The meaning of this card has to do with life experiences, movement and some level of chaos that is necessary in order to grow. I see that you are capable to maintain a certain level of peace of mind even when things around you are hectic, and this is something that might attract some people who are either amazed or envious of this.  In your case, I think that being all over the place (socially, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally) means that you are not quite sure yet on where you stand in relation to certain aspects of your life. This might seem like a problem, because some people are more settled on their beliefs or have more stable lives than you, but in reality, the fact that you are willing to try everything you can before committing is actually something that makes your life something richer. It’s completely normal to feel uncertain, confused and lost, but this shouldn’t keep you away from giving yourself the credit you deserve for the way you have chosen to experience life. Take some pride on what makes you different, and take pride on the process of self exploration you are, even if you are far away from finding a solid philosophy or stability in your life, embrace the fact you are capable of experiencing things without many attachments.

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

[tarot-swords-gemini]

Pick A Pile: What seductive mysteries surround your love life? (Reality check)

The images are not mine! I found them one Pinterest! If you know the artists mention them!!

Whenever you feel ready pick the pile that feels close to you but don't overthink it for intuition doesn't take long!If this post is not for you scroll, don't press your spirit to read one, it might not match your situation! Some parts might be 18+, so if you are not, scroll.

💌My type of readings are brutally honest for l used to struggle with it myself; so now I only command from the spirit to tell me the truth through protection, but always the truth, I like it or not, so I warn you that I am like that.

The symbols are: Veil, Crystal Ball, Black Cat, Moonlight, Rose Petals, and Book.

Like & Reblog my pinned post (you can click my profile and do that, for it will help me to make a living from it) for it will bring the right people to my page!! thank you! And may you be safe, happy and blessed!

1. Veil:

Cards: Seven of Swords, Eight of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Death with Strength, Ten of Pentacles, King of Swords, Nine of Cups with Magician, Eight of Cups, Page of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles (bottom: Six of Swords, Empress, Tower)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve a mix of transformation and hidden dynamics. The Seven of Swords suggests deceit or hidden motives, while the Eight of Wands indicates rapid changes or communication; work on your intuition and expect different types of people to come to you and you will intuitively know who are the ones for you. The Three of Pentacles points to collaboration and teamwork, suggesting that someone might be working behind the scenes, or you might meet someone in a place where you work or do some sort of collaboration with others. Death with Strength indicates major transformation and resilience, hinting at significant changes and the need for inner strength, again, work in your intuition, you will meet many people and not all of them are right for you even if it looks like it. The Ten of Pentacles shows long-term stability, but combined with the King of Swords, it implies that there are serious, perhaps intellectual or strategic aspects involved, trust your rationality when it comes to “judging” people. The Nine of Cups with the Magician suggests that there are deep-seated desires and manifestations at play, you have intense desires and they will be manifested in the near future as long as you work on your intuition. The Eight of Cups and Page of Pentacles reflect moving on from past issues and new beginnings in order for this energy to settle in your life. The Seven of Pentacles highlights ongoing investments and patience. At the bottom, the Six of Swords, Empress, and Tower reveal that while there is growth and nurturing potential, there could also be sudden upheavals or revelations that shake your current understanding in order to make you understand what your desires really mean to you. Overall, expect transformation and a seductive mystery that should be treated with intuition and logic so you don’t end up with the wrong person.

Keywords: Deceit, changes, hidden motives, 333, collaboration, transformation, resilience, desires, manifestations, moving on, candles, journal, new beginnings, patience, upheaval.

—-

2. Crystal Ball:

Cards: Eight of Wands, Four of Cups, Eight of Swords with King of Swords, Chariot, Empress, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Wands, Two of Swords, Five of Swords, Sun, Emperor (bottom: Page of Cups, Six of Wands, Eight of Cups)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a complex mix of desires and “important” obstacles. The Eight of Wands indicates swift developments, but the Four of Cups and Eight of Swords with King of Swords suggest feelings of dissatisfaction and mental blocks, with possible intellectual or communication issues. This is a moment where you can use to describe to yourself what you really want and get to know the nature of your character. These obstacles serve as freedom for you, for they give you time to think. The Chariot and Empress show a powerful drive and nurturing potential, yet the Four of Pentacles and Nine of Wands reveal holding back and defensiveness; you are capable of loving but you think that you can’t be loved, this is a source of negativity that you need to heal soon. The Two of Swords and Five of Swords highlight conflict and indecision, suggesting that unresolved issues or competing interests might be at play. Mental issues might be present here. The Sun and Emperor indicate clarity, success, and strong foundations, but the Page of Cups, Six of Wands, and Eight of Cups at the bottom reflect a mix of emotional offers, recognition, and the need to move past previous disappointments. Disconnect from your fears and let your heart guide your way for once!

Keywords: Swift developments, dissatisfaction, mental blocks, drive, nurturing, defensiveness, conflict, boots, indecision, success, pizza, emotional offers, moving on.

—-

3. Black Cat:

Cards: World, Wheel of Fortune, Magician, Fool with Six of Wands, Nine of Cups, Four of Pentacles, Five of Wands with Hanged Man, Hierophant, Ten of Swords (bottom: Nine of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve significant fast transformations and evolving dynamics. The World and Wheel of Fortune indicate major changes and cycles of fortune, while the Magician and Fool with Six of Wands reveal a blend of manifestation, new beginnings, and public recognition. You are about to manifest someone you want! The Nine of Cups suggests deep personal satisfaction, but the Four of Pentacles and Five of Wands with Hanged Man show a struggle with holding on and internal conflict; accept that you deserve the life you want and let it happen!! The Hierophant points to traditional values or commitment, whereas the Ten of Swords highlights painful endings or betrayals. What ended was necessary, don’t let it impact you anymore. The Nine of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, and Nine of Swords at the bottom emphasize issues of independence, holding onto past hurts, and anxiety — let your desire come to life and ignore any whispers of the past; you’re not there anymore and you will never return there because your path is more beautiful than you think! Overall, there are themes of both new opportunities and unresolved conflicts influencing your love life, with a high chance of manifesting what you want — just make sure to enjoy it and not detach from it once it comes and neglect it.

Keywords: Transformation, cycles, manifestation, 333, angels, white color, new beginnings, recognition, social media, new follower, satisfaction, conflict, holding on, commitment, looking back, independence, anxiety and toast.

---

4. Moonlight:

Cards: Justice, Hierophant, Ace of Wands, Magician, World, Devil with Seven of Pentacles, Knight of Swords with King of Wands, Two of Swords, Three of Pentacles (bottom: Temperance, Queen of Wands)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a complex blend of balance, cravings, and the necessity to change your perspective quickly. Justice and Hierophant highlight themes of fairness and commitment, indicating that traditional values and moral judgments play a significant role in your life for good and bad reasons. The Ace of Wands and Magician signify new, passionate beginnings and the power to manifest desires. You need to be clear with what you want and let it come to life. The World suggests completion and fulfillment, but the Devil with Seven of Pentacles warns of potential bondage or delays due to unresolved issues or unhealthy attachments, so here to me it means that a cycle in your life is about to end and you will need to accept it. You might need to read the previous pile too. The Knight of Swords with King of Wands indicates dynamic, assertive energy but possibly conflicting motives; there might be confusion between a need and a want — learn to enjoy both. The Two of Swords points to indecision or a crossroads, while the Three of Pentacles emphasizes collaboration and effort in relationships; collaborate with your heart and mind, and attract what you want. At the bottom, Temperance and Queen of Wands suggest the need for balance and an appealing, magnetic presence to navigate these complexities.

Keywords: Balance, commitment, passion, 55, manifestation, transformation, bondage, delays, door, red door, assertiveness, indecision, collaboration, magnetic presence and magic.

---

5. Rose Petals:

Cards: Four of Pentacles, Judgment, Page of Wands with Hermit, Four of Wands, Magician, Devil, Seven of Pentacles, Emperor, Sun, Five of Cups, Ace of Swords, King of Wands, Ten of Wands, Two of Swords, Ace of Cups (bottom: Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups, Star)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life reveal a mix of transformation, stability, and emotional depth. The Four of Pentacles and Judgment suggest that holding onto past issues or fears is a significant factor, with the need for self-reflection and major decisions — you are in your healing or soft era or about to be. The Page of Wands with Hermit indicates an inner exploration of passion and creativity, while the Four of Wands and Magician point to solid foundations and the power to create your ideal relationship. Something might start as a friendship and evolve into something deeper. The Devil and Seven of Pentacles warn of potential bondage or delays, emphasizing the need for patience, don’t lose hope just because something happens slower than expected. Also avoid being mad at your fate — your life is yours, their life is theirs, stop comparing. The Emperor and Sun signify stability, authority, and joy, and with the Five of Cups and Ace of Swords reveal past disappointments and the need for clarity coming to light to be addressed and finished, at least mentally. The King of Wands and Ten of Wands suggest a passionate yet burdensome energy that your love life might have, and with the Two of Swords indicating indecision between love and burden — but hey, allow time to be itself. The Ace of Cups at the bottom, along with the Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups, and Star, points to new emotional beginnings, fulfillment, and hope for a deeply satisfying connection. Don’t give up. Love is here!!

Keywords: Glitter, stability, eating, self-reflection, creativity, shadow work, bondage, email, nostalgia for something absent, throne, clarity, burdens, indecision, fulfillment, hope and new shoes or shopping with a look of neutrality. Your mind is elsewhere, focus.

---

6. Books:

Cards: Queen of Wands with Queen of Cups, Six of Cups, Seven of Wands with Four of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Hanged Man, Three of Cups with Hierophant, Justice, Knight of Wands, Two of Wands (bottom: King of Cups)

💌Message: The seductive mysteries surrounding your love life involve a rich tapestry of emotional depth and evolving dynamics. The Queen of Wands with Queen of Cups indicates a blend of passion and emotional sensitivity, highlighting an attractive and nurturing presence in your love life. The Six of Cups suggests past influences or nostalgia, while the Seven of Wands with Four of Cups points to challenges and dissatisfaction in navigating emotional blocks; there are some past influences that still influence you but you’re slowly improving the energy around you. The Wheel of Fortune and Hanged Man reveal significant shifts and a need for new perspectives. The Three of Cups with Hierophant indicates celebration and possibly a commitment or traditional values influencing your social circle. Justice signifies a quest for balance and fairness in relationships. The Knight of Wands here explains a dynamic, adventurous energy, and with the Two of Wands reveals planning and decision-making for future directions; you will need to take a decision regarding two people or two paths that will impact your love life — your heart will guide you if you allow her. The King of Cups at the bottom underscores emotional maturity and depth in your love life, which overall means that you’re almost ready for what you crave to experience emotionally.

Keywords: Emotional depth, passion, past influences, debt, red dress, shifts, new perspectives, celebration, commitment, balance, adventure, planning, travel, and intelligence.

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My free and paid readings are available! Please take a look and support me so I can save some money for my desired college. Thank you❤️

Wish you the best of luck!

[shaded-night]

The Price of Gift Giving

There are many things Aventurine can pride himself in. He has no shortage of talents that have gotten him as far as he has. However there are still a few things that he cannot wrap his head around. When it comes to love and showing his affection, Aventurine fumbles more often than not, even with his heightened emotional intelligence.

Now, he isn't sure what exactly he had done this time around, but his beloved Doctor seems to be frustrated with him. So here he is standing in one of the most luxury malls in all of Pier Point trying to pick out the best gift as an apology. He knows Ratio isn't big on material luxuries but as Aventurine eye's a beautiful fountain pen, he can't help but throw his card down. He pays extra to have it engraved with an owl face -the same one that adorns Ratio's shoulder- and a quaint but sweet quote, "For my Beloved Veritas". Aventurine feels confidence flow through his veins as he becomes a couple hundred thousand credits lighter. The pen is packaged nicely, the engraving hidden from view so he can surprise his boyfriend even more.

When he returns home, Aventurine can here Ratio in their shared study grumbling to himself as he no doubt marks another students paper as inadequate. Aventurine braves a smile as he tucks the small gift into his coat pocket and quietly enters the study.

"I'm home~. I see you're still working hard. Do you have time for a short break?"

Ratio sighs, sparing Aventurine a quick glance before his eyes setting back on the stack of papers .

"Unfortunately I'm on a tight deadline. I did mention to you earlier that I'd most likely will be busy all day." Ratio's voice held clear annoyance, but that's fine. Aventurine's smile faulters for only a second.

"Yes I remember you saying that. Sorry, I just don't like seeing you over work yourself."

Ratio only hums in acknowledgement as red ink fills another paper.

If Aventurine just stands here any longer he's sure to be kicked out, so to not waste anymore time he fumbles to get his gift out of his pocket.

"I have something for you." He places the box neatly on the desk, and Ratio pauses to look at it. It's not hard to guess its price, the name of the store was printed clearly on the lid. Aventurine can feel the annoyance radiating off of Ratio as he narrows his eyes at the package.

"Aventurine," said mans smile drops; Ratio never calls him that at home. "While the thought is appreciated, we've talked about your frivolous amount of gifts before. No matter how deep your pockets are, always spending isn't a good lifestyle. Honestly, is drowning me in expensive products the only thing you can do?"

It shouldn't hurt because Ratio is right; they have talked about Aventurine's unhealthy spending habits. Still, he had no issue buying anything that he thought Ratio may like. And that's what made his confidence crumble. His eyes stung and his voice was stuck in his throat. Ratio was looking at him, almost expectantly, but Aventurine couldn't form any words.

Instead he turned around, silently leaving the room. It felt humiliating standing there under his boyfriend's scrutinizing gaze. Maybe he deserved it for being inconsiderate of Ratio's thoughts on luxury goods. That was the only rational conclusion he could come up with.

~*~ When Ratio had finally emerged from the study, it was well into the evening. Aventurine could hear him in the kitchen getting himself his share of dinner Aventurine somehow managed to put together just a hour prior. He had the catcakes to thank for pushing him to get food in him. The last few hours he had just been curled up under a blanket on the couch while the snacks meowed at him sympathetically.

Eventually the noise in the kitchen died down, and was replaced with the couch dipping under Ratio's weight. Aventurine didn't move from his place under the blanket.

"Vasha," a hand fell onto Aventurine's shoulder; and maybe he's just a little too weak because a second later he wrapped himself tightly around his boyfriend. "I would like to apologize, my love. I shouldn't have been so insensitive to your gift."

Aventurine closed his eyes, letting his head fall against Ratio's chest.

"I just wanted to make you happy. I know you've been overworked lately...and I know I can't help with that kind of work. I know I said I'd work on my spending. So I guess I'm sorry too."

Fingers thread through his hair and a kiss is placed on his head.

"Change doesn't happen overnight, and I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. You are far more valuable than any gift, Kakavasha."

Ratio shifts and pulls the giftbox from his pocket. It was still unopened, but Ratio swiftly untied the bow around it and removed the lid. He picked up the pen, admiring the pretty swirl of blue and white along its body and it's gold accents. His thumb ran over the engraving and Aventurine feels a smile against his temple.

"It is quite a lovely pen. Thank you, Vasha. I will treasure it always."

~*~ inspired by this twt post~

rtrn is so stupid i love them

[em1e]

ᶻz feat. baji + chifuyu + shinichirio !!

tokyo revengers && dating

☓ no warnings ! this is my first writing that isn't angst LOL

ᶻz・baji keisuke

⠀ ⬤ with his inability to tell you ‘no’

baji hates the way you’re looking at him. brows furrowed, lip jutted out while you tug on his arm in hopes of it helping- it does, but he’d never tell you that.

“please.” you beg, pulling him towards the photo booth. his scowl is ever present, arms crossed over his chest as if you’re asking him to do the most difficult thing in the world. ‘it’s just a photo booth’, you’d argued before, leaving out the detail of him being the one to pay for it. 

and it’s not even that that was the issue! he’d buy you the world, if you asked (or whatever he could afford from his allowance). it’s the fact that you’ve been walking around this mall for hours, and not once have you guys stopped by the food court like you promised at least two hours ago. 

he was starving, and thus, his attitude has become ever present. 

“just the photo booth, and then a couple more stores, and then we can go to the food court!” you promise in vain. his eyes narrow. 

“you said that three hours ago.” 

you pout, “i know but i know once you eat, you’ll want to leave to nap and i’m not ready to be back home yet.” 

your argument is sound, baji’s track record betraying him. still, he tries to ration. 

“if it’s only a few stores after, i don’t know why we can’t go to the food court first and then do whatever you want.” 

“because i know you well enough that that won’t be how it goes!” you’re grasping at straws here, and still he doesn’t budge. 

so, with a huff, you drop his arm and turn to the photo booth. 

“fine, i’ll meet you at the food court then.” 

“what are you talking about.” he could scoff at your sudden attitude now. 

“i’m gonna take some cute photos. i’ll just meet you there in a sec.” you wave him off without looking back at him, climbing into the photo booth by yourself and adjusting the settings as you please. 

baji honestly has to take a second to decide how this could play out. he goes to the food court alone? you’ll be pissed the rest of the day, and he doesn’t know if this argument is worth the cold-shoulder. and it is just a couple of photos, just two more stores after. what’s the real harm?

so, with a huff, he pushes back the photo curtain just before the first photo is taken. 

click.

he leans forward as far as he can into the booth, cupping your face with one hand and steadying himself against the wall with the other. 

click. 

and kisses you with a desperation that makes you wonder if you haven’t been giving him enough affection. 

click.

when he finally pulls away, you’re giving him the dorkiest grin you can muster, and in turn he mirrors your smile. 

click. 

the photos pop out with a ding, and you reach over to pull them from their place. baji looks over your shoulder, happy with how they came out. 

the first barely shows him coming into the booth and your surprised face at the sudden intrusion. the second has him cupping your cheeks and that same surprised expression along with a light blush on your cheeks. the third is of him kissing you, and the fourth is of the two of you smiling at each other. baji has to hand it to himself, the execution is honestly pretty cute. 

“thank you.” you hum, standing and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“two more stores.” he settles, offering you his hand. 

“two more.” you agree, taking his hand and offering his card back to him. he sputters at the site, snatching it from your sticky fingers and shoving it in his pocket. 

“you are unbelievable.”

“yeah, but you love me.” you giggle. 

he pressed a kiss to your temple and squeezes your hand, “you know it.”

ᶻz・matsuno chifuyu 

⠀ ⬤ with his comfortable presence

you were on the couch, back pressed into the leather with chifuyu resting comfortably on top of you. fingers idly running through his blonde hair, while some show he was mildly interested in plays on the tv. 

it’s easy to fall asleep with the warmth radiating from him, and he only realizes this is the case when the hand in his hair stops moving. 

he knows he shouldn’t bother you. that you stayed up late studying for exams and you got up early to spend some well-deserved time with him as the weekend kicked off, and it’s not like you’re really even doing anything right now, the show on the tv serving more as background noise than anything else, but he can’t help it. 

your attention is all he craves, even if it’s in such a small amount. 

with that in mind, he sits up slightly to get a better look at you. you look pretty like this- hair a mess underneath you, face soft as you sleep. he’d really hate to ruin this, but someone has to. your brows furrow at chifuyu’s movement, but there’s nothing that shows you fully wake up. 

he tilts his head, wondering what he could possibly do to wake you up that won’t leave you pouting for the rest of the day (rightfully so, he knows, but now is not the time for that! and he’ll make it up to you, although he feels his presence is more than enough of a gift as is). 

he settles for just shaking you awake softly, admiring the way you scrunch your face and attempt to swat him away in an effort to remain asleep. 

“(y/n),” he hums, shaking you again only to be met with a groan, “come on, let’s go get something to eat! sleeping is for later.” 

“tired.” he hears you mumble out, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and, without opening your eyes, pull him to your chest. the sudden shift has him basically crashing on top of you, and he wonders where you were hiding this strength when you beg him to carry your oh-so-heavy backpack on the days he walks you home from school. 

he makes a noise of disagreement, knowing if he becomes trapped here there is absolutely no chance of moving for the next few hours, but you’re quick to wrap your legs around his back to keep him in place. 

“(y/n).” he says again, though this time it’s more like a whine, “i’m bored, let’s go do something.” 

nothing. 

“we can go to that ice cream shop you like?” 

your grip loosens slightly. he’s onto something. 

“i’ll buy you whatever you want?”

a pause. 

“anything?” you repeat, letting him free just enough for him to be able to lean back and look at you. he can practically see the sparkle in your eyes, and chifuyu wonders for a moment if he’s giving you too much free reign on his wallet. 

“anything.” he confirms, ready to be fully released from your hold so he can put on his shoes and shove you out the door. 

but, you don’t let him go. 

instead, you tilt your head slightly and let your eyes scan over his face. 

“and if i just want you?” 

he feels his face flush at the question, grabbing a pillow that was previously discarded to the ground to make room for the both of you and shoves it in your face. 

“d-don’t say stuff like that!” 

ᶻz・sano shinichiro

⠀ ⬤ with his one track mind

shinichiro’s back really fucking hurt. having to lean over the bikes for so long was really taking its toll, and he wasn’t even halfway done with what he needed to be. 

with a sigh, he stands. stretching makes him realize just how taut his muscles are, hearing his joints pop is almost satisfying, but it really just solidifies how long he’s been at work. something scatters to his right, metal against the concrete making him jump and turn at the sudden intrusion. 

you look like a deer in headlights, a tote bag in one hand, the other reaching for the wrench you’ve apparently kicked. 

“hi . . .” you breath out, offering the bag to him, “i brought you dinner . . .” 

“you didn’t have to,” but he takes the bag anyways, peeking inside. ‘dinner’ is a loose term - he can spot some sweet buns and takoyaki, along with an energy drink and bottled tea. 

you only hum in reply, looking around his shop for anything particularly interesting, “yeah but i’m sure you’ve only eaten the breakfast i brought by earlier, and you were supposed to be home an hour ago for our date-” 

shinichiro visibly stiffens at this accusation, looking at the clock on the wall to see just how late it is. 7:13 pm. you planned for him to come get you at 6:00. 

“-so i did the math myself and figured you were probably too into whatever you were working on this morning.” 

he opens his mouth to apologize, beg for your forgiveness, fall to his knees if that’s what it takes, but you’re smiling and moving some stuff to sit beside the bike he’s been working on. 

“and i figured i could just bring the date to you.” 

you pat the spot beside you, and he feels like he could crumble at your feet. 

“you’re too good to me.” he settles on instead, sitting and taking out everything from the bag to place it neatly in front of you. 

“i know,” you tease, bumping shoulders with him, “now eat up so you can finish here and we can  go watch a movie or something.” 

god does he love you. 

shinichiro leans over, and places a kiss to your temple, happy that you are so patient with him and that you went out of your way to do this for him. his lips linger for a second longer than necessary, not that you mind, before he’s scarfing down the snacks you brought. 

when he finishes, he packs up his trash and throws it away, before whistling at you and nodding his head towards the front of the garage when he has your attention. 

you tilt your head, unsure what he wants. 

“‘m gonna lock up, i can finish everything here tomorrow.” 

“but you didn’t-” 

“i can finish tomorrow,” he repeats, gesturing for you to come out of the garage so he can turn off the light and lock up. 

“you sure?” 

“mhm,” he’s never been more sure of anything in his life, “we can go to the 8:00 showing for that one movie you’ve wanted to see.” he says as he pulls the door shut, making sure the lock is set and he has everything he needs to go. 

“i would like to stop by mine to change, if that’s okay.”

you hum, “we have all the time in the world.” 

[adrian-sheppy]

for star trek au. want to make more . we wll see. . info dump under cut. its a bit disjointed

this whole au endevour has had me reading all the wikis for andorians. like “transgender” on andoria would be a blanket term because of the four named “canon” sexes (and the unnamed sexes that would fall “between” these!. and who knows how many genders.) i'm not gonna get into it here . there's a lot to say .

andorians are militant and family oriented. child rearing is very important. they suffer near constant population issues; one cause is that they need four people to have one kid. andorians are traditionally polyamorous and pansexual but they wouldnt use these terms . barney cant cut it in an andorian polycule so barney dating one guy (WHO IS VULCAN!!!) and neither of them wanting kids = traditional andorians instantly dislike him. guy with the biggest target on his back. joined star fleet so people back home would stop eviscerating him. like now when barney loses an antenna he is treated nicely instead of being roasted until it grows back! so cool . andorians in star fleet would be more accepting of untraditional andorian relationships . i.e jennifer lower decks . but gordons a vulcan so thats gonna cause some issues also...

...dont get me started on gordon's relationship with Vulcans and how they would treat him... like NO ONE talks about sybok outside of final frontier (i think he was mentioned in snw ?) not even in DISCO where the s'chn t'gai family is a FUCKING FOCAL POINT. they pretend he doens't exist because vulcans put things into boxes and rationalize them away . and when they cant? dont acknowledge it. call it irrational and move on... and then in comes gordon (number one hater of the vulcan science academy btw) and he cant regulate his emotions like the majority of vulcans can. he makes many vulcans uncomfortable by just EXISTING. its like the prejudice spock has to deal with but times 100x because he CANT keep his cool. it's used to discredit him and to question his vulcan heritage . and its called a “defect” primarily by vulcan doctors. his brain is just more similar to a humans than a vulcans. its a congenital disorder by vulcan standards.

they were both dealt shit cards and born into a culture that doesn't work for them (or gordon finds out later about said culture and see it has no room for him), so waht do? escape to the stars. misfits congregate in star fleet. and barney runs hot like the vulcan deserts and gordon runs cold like the ice moon of andoria and in eachothers arms they are at home and accepted for being the outcasted assholes that they are . . . . . ... and gordon is a chocoholic. love wins.

[kingkatsuki]

— infuriating

Pairing: Tamsy Caines x f!reader.

Warnings: 18+, dry humping, Tamsy cums in his pants.

Word Count: 1.3k.

If you were to ask Tamsy what he thinks about you, he’d probably call you infuriating.

It’s the first thought that pops into his head when he catches your eye across the common room full of his fellow janitors and friends as you not so subtly raise a suggestive brow in his direction. Waiting for everyone to leave as you make your move, stalking over to him like a hungry lion marking its prey.

Tamsy finds you infuriating because you make it difficult for him to think. He wasn’t here for love or romance, that wasn’t part or parcel of becoming a janitor, and yet you just had to get inside his head. Consuming him with thoughts of you, and making it difficult to breathe.

Corvus always kept strict rules about janitors fraternising, and yet you had him prepared to break every single one for a moment of your time.

“Is this okay?” You coo, as though he’d ever say that it wasn’t. Throwing his head back against the couch as he watches you through half-lidded eyes, lips parted as he tries to remember to breathe.

He doesn’t respond, but it’s as though you’ve got your answer when his hands tighten against your hips. His grip bruising as fingertips dig into the supple skin, certain to leave their mark on you as he follows your languid motions. Showing the whites of his eyes when you roll your hips over his crotch just right, the worn denim of his jeans adds to the delicious friction as it presses against his engorged length. Unsure whether the wetness pooling against the fabric is from him or you, not that he cares.

“We’ll be quick.” You whisper against the shell of his ear and Tamsy has to stop himself from scoffing at your blatant lie.

He’s got half a mind to activate Tokushin and wrap his string around you to give him a moment to think. But the pleasure swiftly outweighs any rational thoughts he’d usually have of being in such a compromising position with you as he succumbs, his thoughts now completely filled with how pretty you’d look tied in pretty patterns as the rope digs into the plush of your skin.

You make it so easy to break down his walls, to lower his inhibitions and leave him completely vulnerable. He hates the feeling, he reckons. But it doesn’t stop him from pushing down on your hips to smooth your cunt against his swollen length, leaning into the warmth radiating between your thighs as he imagines just how scorching you’d feel wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck, Tamsy.” The saccharine lilt to your voice does more to exasperate his issue, practically sealing his fate as he lets you use him like this— guiding your hips as you grind yourself against his crotch, “Feels so good.”

And it does. So much so, Tamsy wonders how your cunt could even feel any better when this already feels like he’s ascended past the heavens to an entirely different plane of existence.

“We don’t have to do anything.” You coo, and Tamsy can’t stop the seam of his lips curling into a smirk.

It’s too late for that, he reckons, when this is everything to him.

Especially the way your lips pepper kisses against the curve of his jaw, following the flurry of scattered stubble against it as it scratches at your lips roughly. Your hands carding through hair to grip it at the base of his skull, nails scratching his scalp as you tug hard. Pulling a groan from deep in Tamsy’s throat he’s certain he’s never made before, if it even came from him—

“We can just do this—”

“Just this” was an understatement. He can feel the scorching heat radiating from your clothed cunt with each sloppy roll of your hips. Dragging your sodden panties against his pants as your slick begins to soak the fabric, casting his eyes down to see the dark stain as he sucks a sharp breath between his teeth. He’s barely even touched you—

“And what is this exactly?” He murmurs, as though you don’t both know exactly what it is.

“It’s just touching—” You mewl shyly, and the response has his cock bucking beneath his pants, “That’s all.”

“So this is ‘just touching’ too?” Tamsy’s hands are quick to slide up your bare thighs, dragging the hem of your skirt up with them as he bunches the material around your hips. Giving him the perfect view of your panties and the way they’ve disappeared between your messy folds, sticking to the dampness as you chase your high. His thumbs press into the apex of your thighs, drawing a slew of pretty whines from the back of your throat as you start to swirl your hips in a desperate attempt to get him to touch you.

But he won’t, not yet. Not until he’s done watching you like this.

“Fuck.” He groans hoarsely, feeling your nails dig into his shoulder as you curve your body above him. Rewarding him with the opportunity to peek down your shirt as you focus the friction against your puffy clit, your poor neglected hole clenching around nothing as he thinks about sliding in raw and stretching you into the shape of his cock.

He can tell you’re close, and he’s unsure whether he can hold on much longer himself. His thumbs reach down to brush against the hem of your panties, following the fabric as it disappears between your labia as he follows a path to your drooling hole.

“You’re so wet.” He murmurs, half-lidded eyes gazing up at you as he watches the way your body responds.

He starts rubbing you through the thin material, and his cock throbs at the way your body seems to melt for him. Leaning forward to suck a kiss against your pulse point, teeth grazing the sensitive skin as he starts biting and sucking to coax more pretty sounds from between your lips.

His touch is greedy and selfish, like it always is when it comes to you. His thumb bullies its way beneath the fabric of your panties to press persistent circles against your needy clit and he can feel himself becoming impossibly harder beneath you, groaning against your neck.

“Feels so good, Tamsy— fuck.” You’re loud. Far louder than necessary as Tamsy wonders whether you’ve woken anyone up to catch the pair of you in such a vulnerable position, and yet he makes no attempt to silence you.

How can he when he’s stifling his moans against your neck and bucking his hips as he feels himself teetering on the edge?

Tamsy can feel your neglected hole pulsing around nothing when you cum, greedy and desperate as you cry out a jumbled mess of his name, practically slumping against him as his head falls onto the back of the couch as he finds his own bliss. Catching his groan before it slips through his lips as he allows it to rumble deep in his throat as his cock shoots white hot ropes of cum into his boxers, the slickness tacks to his skin uncomfortably as you give a final few languid rolls of your hips as you ride out your release.

Your warm breath fans against his neck as you come down from your high as Tamsy rests his palms on your bare thighs to try and even out his breathing too, his eyes focused on the door in case anyone were to come into the living quarters this late at night. Knowing all too well how high the chances of that are when he’s caught Riyo up to no good, Enjin slinking back from a late night smoke past midnight or worse— Corvus himself.

He tells himself it’s because he doesn’t want to get caught in such a compromising position, when really it’s because Tamsy hates the thought of anyone else getting to see you like this— and most of all Tamsy hates how you can make him cum in his pants like a randy fucking teenager.

[daniswoso]

“¿Qué coño?”

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Part 2 of “Ay dios mio.”

Warnings: Swearing in both Spanish and English, VERY Suggestive, there will be more parts!, Asshole Alexia, cocky reader, both r and AP are assholes tbh, but more Alexia. Let me know if I’ve missed anything! 3rd part will be smut!

**********

Since the ‘incident’ in your’s and Alexia’s hotel room, you hadn’t been able to keep your hands off each other. The teasing had been constant, and you’re fairly sure Mapi and Ona, who usually is the most oblivious human to ever exist, had caught on.

But that certainly did not stop Alexia from continuing to tease you, and vice versa.

Briefly, while you’re asleep in Alexia’s strong arms at night, you find yourself wondering why you can’t just say you liked each other rather than hated each other. You had… little to no issue about coming forward to friends and family about the relationship, knowing both parties would be supportive as fuck, so you guessed it was Alexia who had an issue.

And she did. She had built up a reputation over the years of playing football, on the pitch she was a no nonsense, calculated player. Calm. Rational. Understanding. Everything you weren’t.

You weren’t rational, you weren’t calm. You’d snap at players and the ref whenever there’s a chance and Alexia was beginning to think you’d racked up more cards than Katie ‘McCard’ herself.

That’s why Alexia wasn’t comfortable coming forward, you went against everything she believed a player should be on the pitch.

Maybe it was petty, maybe it was really because she was scared, maybe it was (just a little bit) because she was scared of the ribbings she’d receive from Mapi and Lucy when she got back to Barcelona from international duty.

Yeah, it was definitely petty.

But she was finding it hard to think about that while your hand had found her muscled thigh under the table, your thumb stroking dangerously close to the place she wanted - needed - you.

She looked over to your face, the smug smirk you wore was enough to make her want to bend you over the table right here right now.

While no one else at the restaurant knew what was going on, due to the booth you were all sat having a weirdly long table cloth, which covered the ministrations your hand was making; Alexia definitely knew.

When you ghosted two fingers over her clit through her underwear under her dress, she had to fight to bite back a gasp, her hips very nearly bucking up.

You smile at the wetness you find, even through her underwear, leaning over to whisper in her ear while everyone else ordered, “¿Todo para mí, reina?” (All for me, queen?)

“Callaté.” (Shut up.) She hisses, shoving your hand away before ordering, her voice slightly shaky.

You ignore the looks from Mapi and Ona, who look from you to Alexia to Alexia’s flushed cheeks with disgusted faces, and order your food.

“Y/n, can I talk to you… after dinner? Please?” Alexia breathes through gritted teeth.

“Sure, Capitana.” you smirk, and you can practically feel her shaking with rage.

*********

A/N: this is more of a filler for the smut chapter, yes Alexia will be bottom as anon requested, sorry for it being so short even if it was just a filler, as mentioned in my katie fic i’ve been in and out of the ER so fic production will be slower. Lo siento in advance.

[writingoddess1125]

What do you like most about each of the old men?

Okay Okay! SO I got a list!!

These probably don't make sense but I'm trying!

Buggy-

• I love his weird personality, how he is is both funny and almost scary at the same time. Yet his own natural quirkiness betrays him 80% of the time.

• Is actually funny to me? Like his jokes in the show actually make me laugh while others find them annoying.

• Super pretty hair and facial scruff

• I dig the clown thing- IDK why 🤷🏾‍♀️

• I also oddly respect him. Like imagine failing that many times, doing it again and again and succeeding in your own way? Paired with the fact Buggy never revealed he was one of Roger's Apprentices unlike some of his other peers. It wasn't something he used to boost his own power/publicity {Even if the reason could have been so the Marines wouldn't arrest him} But he did in a way make a name for himself by himself

Shanks

• Honestly he just scratches my Daddy issues just right ✅️

• I love his voice? Japanese, English, or LA I just adore the way he sounds in each one. Maybe it's his lines but it's always so relaxing to hear

• He is just so damn Loyal, I adore it 😍 Just that level of dedication to his crew and those that are important to him I love to the deepest part of me!

• Once again! Pretty hair and that facial scruff!

• Honestly when he has his character breaks like when he was yelling at Luffy to call him a dumbass I laughed so hard. I feel like if I saw more of this side- That Goofy drunk that is just happy to be there UGH! ❤️

Mihawk

• Ah Mihawk- The representation of my first crush- Captian Hook from the 2003 Peter Pan- {if you don't know who I'm talking about Google it- He was played by Jason Isaacs 😩💦}

• Daddy Issues coming out once more! 2/3!!

• He is the perfect, rational man that thinks things through has a clean house, cooks and will tell you if you're stupid.

• That sword work- he's great with his hands 👀

• Lastly is actually his stoic personality. I really admire that and just how level headed he is- while he is level headed he supports those 'Wild Cards' in the world and is cool with eccentric and unique people. He sees it as important to the world and while it's not his way, He respects it. I admire that honestly.

[syeren]

BATTLE OF WITS.

summary — sampo loves to rile people up, no matter who it is and what rank you are. but, once you step into his life, could he still keep up his uncaring demeanor?

genre — comedic fluff

Sampo is an easy guy, albeit, a con-artist but a real hunk of work. If something doesn’t catch his eye within a second or stimulate his brain for more than a minute… You can say bye-bye to trying to talk to him.

Majority of people view the picture on the vacation postcard of “not-giving-a-shit” and fall in love with the idea — swimming through the clear blue waters in this mental Mediterranean sea can be more deceiving than many think. It’s a one-way ticket to losing the most important skill in life, to feel concern. He for one, couldn’t care in the slightest. It all goes to show as to why he took up the very interesting and controversial means of work in the first place.

But once he stumbled across a person completely opposite to him, he couldn’t help but feel even more irritated. Of course, it was you, with your logical and reasonable thoughts and actions. Your morals were way higher on the scale than his, and he definitely could assume your IQ and EQ followed suit. He never felt so ridiculed and threatened by your demeanour because of this aura of “coolness” and “rationality.” That was the issue, he was always the smart one— or the lack thereof. If both your brains jostled within the ring, his would be pummelled to smithereens.

He wanted to brush off this problem as per usual, forcing himself to play the “unbothered” role because his ego couldn’t handle it anymore (ahh yes, the “be the bigger person” card.) But if this were a choice between mind over matter, the latter would reign dominant. He needs to showcase his true skills, it was his only “skill” anyway.

“Hey,” Sampo called out to you while you fumbled through your satchel. You gave him a quick eyebrow raise in response.

“What’s seven times eight?” he blurted out, standing directly in front with his arms crossed over his puffed chest. Yeesh.

You, on the other hand, gave him an indescribable expression that probably amounted to confusion, irritation, and most likely concern. “What?”

“C’moonn… I don’t have all day!”

Rolling your eyes, you continued to fish out some papers from your bookbag and grumbled the answer. “Fifty-six.”

“— Riddle me this. Imagine you’re in a tough situation where your pal is crying over their partner who was absolutely shit to them. Do you, A, comfort them, B, make fun of them, or C… Listen and give advice.”

Now it was completely indescribable about what you’re feeling or thinking. You slowly looked up to meet his eyes with a blank stare. You were judging him hard.

“… A with a mix of C.”

“No, only one answer!” he protested, wagging his finger in the air.

“Then A.”

He dropped his hand and returned to the same arm-crossed position. “This isn’t fun.”

“You think you’re not having fun? This feels like an interrogation, Sampo,” you playfully snapped, closing your book bag. “The fuck was that about?”

A mere shrug was all he responded with. “Just wanted to… Figure some things out,” he vaguely responded, to which, prompted your irritation even more.

“Sampo—“

“Okay, okay! Just heard from a little bird that you’ve got a head on your shoulders,” he replied in defence. “Wanted to see if it was true or not.”

“Of course I have a head on my shoulders,” you reiterated, shaking your head in disbelief. “What? You mean like, smarter?”

Sampo nodded his head. “Precisely.”

His answer made you immediately chuckle, letting out a breathy laugh. “Shouldn’t this little questionnaire prove the point? Such dumb questions.”

“Hey! They made you think though!” he argued. “Putting you on the spot and such.”

“… Easy questions like that won’t put anyone on the spot.”

Sampo inched even closer as he let out a prideful scoff, flipping his floppy bangs back with calloused fingers. “Fine. I’ll prepare something harder then—“

“Nope,” you interrupted.

“One thing’s for certain, you are one hell of a party pooper,” he stated dejectedly, rolling his eyes as he straightened his posture. “Natasha mentioned you were smart n’ all, but how is that any good if that pretty little head of yours is full of brash comments and half-assed sarcasm.”

“Since when were you and Natasha friends?” you deadpanned, the same sarcastic tone dripping from your lips.

“We always were! Hey! Don’t give me that face!” Sampo responded but as soon as he was speaking, your figure was slowly walking away from him. You lazily waved a hand in the air without turning around.

You, 1. Sampo, 0. Try harder next time, big guy.

[newrhys]

im insane and a nigel defender for life so heres my theory/take on like minds

i truely think that its likely Alex was the manipulator and nigel was the victim (to a degree).

this is kinda all over the place and just my thoughts so take everything with a grain of salt im just bored

we all agree that Alex is an unreliable narrator, and when it comes to the interrogation, it would but likely that Alex changed the story for a “solid” alibi to seem at least not guilty, which is very common behavior for people, especially younger people who have committed a crime to do.

most of my reasoning for this comes from the fact that he makes sure to include the detail that *somehow* nigel got into his room in the middle of night (assumably) and put a bloody knife and playing card on his desk.

it could be very likely that he had this whole alibi, that he "missed" his date with susan was entirely made up, that he made it seem like nigel was the one who planted the knife for "for fingerprint insurance” making nigel seem like this criminal mastermind to a degree.

that and also the hand that nigel “gifted him” could have also been a cover up for (maybe) that alex could have very likely been the reason why his friend let go of the train, by messing with his hand. idk on this one tho for sure honestly, though i feel like nigel care a lot about anatomy and dissection that it would be out of character for him to sever a hand.

AND that when alex was asked “how he was sure it was his friends” he said that it wouldnt make sense otherwise (or something along those lines) which honestly is kinda strange bc i would rather rationalize that its not my dead friends hand and just some fucked up prank but maybe thats just me.

you can look into real interrogations and its not unusual for people to make up these crazy complex and wild stories to victimize themselves to seem innocent, even when the story is strange or off putting or has holes.

especially because this is a time when the attention is all on them and what better way to ganer sympathy and attention that alex could have possibly lacked in his childhood then now in the interrogation. with someone who alex could have possibly seen as some sort of mother figure, because she listened to him, and embraced him when alex talked about nigel.

“well susans body was “disected” it had to be nigel” it could have also been alex copying in the way of something that nigel would have done to again, make the evidence point at nigel.

now, this theory is a bit spotty and honestly its not great I KNOW its just my thoughts ive had that ive wanted to share, because honestly i dont have a great reason for why nigel would have invited alex over to his house if not for nigel being a little shit, but who knows, that could have also been made up, and alex really was planning on killing nigel, and just happened to show up at that time

but that being said, im also not saying nigel has never killed anyone, i am just saying alex’s series of events is a bit weird, i do think nigel has some issues, but those probably due to the obvious abuse he as suffered as a kid, and his weird interest could be a symptom of that and his curious for dead things, i wouldnt be surprised if he had witnessed death early as a child seems how it was mentioned in the show that it can result in mental illness.

which kinda leads me to my next point, at the end, when alex totally doesnt kill nigel, and nigel kills himself, alex has a sort of smile at the end, that either he was happy nigel died or that he, really *did* kill nigel and he “enjoyed” it.

to add onto this, alex never really cried when he talked about his friends dying, he cried when he talked about how it made *him* feel and how when nigel had wanted him to get “freaky” per say with susan, he was crying in the interigation because it upset *him* and it was something bad that happened to *him*. im not a professional at all and i only know a little bit about mental illnesses but in certain personaility disorders,, its not uncommon for people to have intense feelings when it comes to something that effects themselves, and apathy towards other people.

and at the very end of the show, it shows that alex clearly has a pattern of this behavior, of manipulating people in certain ways. that its not something unusual for him to do, when he asks the teacher if it’s possible to get into someones head, its likely because hes the one who, atleast thinks, he has control of nigel.

anyways thats kinda just my collection of thoughts ive had about this movie for a long time so i thought id throw them out here, do with this as you wish. dont be too mean tho i am dyslexic and not the smartest lmfao. i just like yapping. obviously i dont know everything and i likely got information wrong which like whatever.

anyways im sick and bored and wanted to yap so maybe someone actually read this

[amyispxnk]

And if you were my little girl

Summary - your dad sucks and you finally turn to Joel for help (summaries are my specialty can you tell)

A/N: SO my dad’s being a little bitchy and making me genuinely want to unalive a little bit, I remembered this song existed, Joel is the father we all wish we had, and here we are. Also I’ve (fortunately) never had to deal with an alcoholic so I’m sorry if it’s not written very well?

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (can probably be read as gn tho?)

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: paternal issues (i refuse to say daddy sorry), alcohol mention, language, angst, comfort, a lot of tears, father Joel, implications of using certain methods to get things you want, verbal/physical abuse, blood

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Part 2 here

You reckoned you had stopped really taking the words in that he tried to threaten you with a long time ago, letting the curses and attempts to break you apart in through one ear and straight out the other. That way you wouldn’t be able to linger on them for too long; it was better that way.

“Where’s the fuckin’ drinks?” Your dad yelled, stumbling around the kitchen and throwing open the shelves in his search, met with nothing but dust. You skated around him as best you could but after he had almost torn apart the wood trying to find the alcohol, he turned to you.

Red in the face, sweating furiously with a look that could definitely kill you. Hands balled at his sides as he took a step towards you.

“D’you hide it again?” He said menacingly, trying to instil as much fear as he could into you, desperate for the liquid relief.

This time, you hadn’t hidden it. You knew better than to try and help him anymore, he couldn’t be fixed and you had to just accept it. When you were younger, when you were more stupid, more hopeful, you had tried hiding it or disposing of it in secret to try and discourage his alcoholism - only to be met with a split lip and hundreds of salty tears spilling from your eyes, only to be ignored and discarded and yelled at and told you were useless before being sent out to go get more. Sometimes without money, him saying that you’d just have to find another way to get it.

You were so disgusted with the prospect of what he was surely insinuating, but thinking about what he might do if you came back empty-handed was somehow scarier to you at the time.

“Fucking answer me!” He snarled, pulling you up by your collar and glaring at you.

“I didn’t hide it- there’s none left, and there’s no way to get any right now. If you just calm-” You began, trying to keep your voice steady and your face void of too much emotion. You weren’t going to let him do anything. He didn’t scare you anymore.

“Well you best fuckin’ find some, you bitch!” He shoved you towards the door, knocking you onto the hard wooden floor in the process and watching you cry out in pain without so much as batting an eye, too fucking stubborn to even feel any remorse since he was always fucking right about everything like he was now.

“Don’t think about coming back here unless you find me it.” And with that, he slammed the door in your face, leaving you outside the apartment door in the hallway.

You let out a shaky exhale, hands raising and covering your face as you furiously wiped away any tears that threatened to spill. Your hands balled up in your face as you hit your head over and over. You had to think of something. No matter how much of a poker face you put on in front of him, you were still terrified deep down, that feeling would never go away no matter how long you’d been putting up with it for.

You ran through all of your usual options, but you genuinely couldn’t think of one that would work today. It was nearly impossible to get your hands on alcohol in the apocalypse with ration cards, without them you had to resort to other means and you couldn’t bring yourself to do that right now.

Just when you thought that all hope was lost, the familiar and far-too-comforting Southern drawl of Joel Miller sounded from across the hallway.

“Y’alright sweetheart?” He asked cautiously. He had heard some banging coming from your apartment and had opened the door to find you standing there, tugging at your hair in frustration and looking like you were about to explode.

You turned to face him, opening your mouth to speak but not really knowing what to say.

How many times had this happened? How many times had your own father terrorised you for any minor inconvenience and blamed you for everything, made you feel stupid and worthless of any attention or love? And how many times had Joel still given you that attention, that love, or whatever it was. Maybe it was love, maybe he was just being nice to you, but you told yourself that’s what love was since you knew no better. Growing up in this world was cruel enough, but without anyone who truly loved you and liked to make sure you knew that every day, nobody to protect you from the monsters - infected and human - that inhibited it, that felt like the worst fate you could suffer.

So were you alright? No. No, of course you weren’t. But you’d say you were just like you had every time, because you didn’t want to bother people with your ‘issues’. As well as numbing yourself from feeling any intense fear or sadness as a result of your father’s endless torment, you also found it incredibly difficult to take pity on yourself. You always felt like your issues were never that real, that your father had a hard life and maybe you should just let him take it out on you.

“I’m..” you began, mustering up a pathetic excuse for a smile as you glanced from his face to the ground in front of your feet, “I’m fine, thank you.”

You knew the exact expression which would be on his face without even needing to look up, having seen it too many times. That one where he looks worried, his brows furrowed as he tries to pick you apart and figure out what the hell was actually going on, slightly angry too as this kept on happening and you still refused to tell him anything. Did you not trust him? Did he do something wrong? He knew he was threatening to people, that’s what he was known for in the QZ. But he had never done anything to you, he’d always tried helping you but you never talked or anything at all with him.

“Do you um- do you have any beer? Any alcohol would be fine really, I just need it right now. I can pay you but I don’t have any ration cards so it would have to be later on unless you could think of anything…” You trailed off at the end, not wanting to say it and give him the option in case he hadn’t thought of it yet, praying he wouldn’t want that.

“Yeah, I got some.” He murmured, before blinking a few times and opening the door to his apartment again, cogs turning in his brain as he still tried to figure out what happened.

“Come in, don’t need ya standin’ there like a lemon.” He said when you stayed fixed to the ground beneath you instead of following him inside like he had very clearly offered when he left the door open after walking in himself.

“Right.” You nodded as you entered his apartment, closing the door gently behind you and watching him as he went over to his cabinets and reached for some whiskey.

You took in his living space. It was clean, organised. The small entryway led straight into the living room which was linked to the kitchen space, a dusty couch in the centre of the room and a coffee table in front of it. A few books were on the table, along with some slightly cracked glasses. You never took Joel to be much of a reader, clearly you were wrong.

There were 2 more doors which were closed and you could only assume that they were the bathroom and his bedroom.

“Hope this ‘s okay.” He said as he appeared in front of you, bottle of whiskey in hand.

“You’re not drinkin’ this all by yourself, are ya?” A smirk appeared on his face as he attempted the light teasing with you, maybe that would cheer you up a bit.

Your expression bore a smile which faltered and faded quickly. If only he knew.

“No, no. It’s for my dad. He ran out so.. Yeah. How do you want me to pay?” You said quietly. Whatever it took, you supposed.

He noticed the dejected look on your face as you looked up at him. So tired. That’s what came to mind whenever he looked at you. Barely an adult and already looking like you were at death’s door whenever he saw you. Exhaustion clouded all of your features and your mind when you trudged up the stairs, down the corridor and up to your apartment door, entering as your shoulders somehow slumped even more.

“Y’ don’t needa pay, sweetheart.” He told you, and you blinked a few times in confusion.

“Really?” There was no way. Alcohol was so hard to come by, and here he was giving you a bottle for free?

“Yeah.” He nodded, making sure you had a good hold on the bottle before letting go of it and pursing his lips as he thought deeply yet again.

“‘F you ever need to talk or anythin’, I’m always here for ya, okay?” He said before you could leave, making you stop with your back towards him as you stood at the door.

“Thank you, Joel.” You whispered before leaving and returning to your own apartment.

After that, you found yourself on Joel’s doorstep a few more times - you didn’t go every time you needed something, not wanting him to think you were taking advantage of his kindness, so sometimes you were just genuinely hanging out with him.

He had some little books and crosswords, stories to tell you, and one time he’d even come across a VHS tape with a movie from the dawn of time on it which the two of you had watched one evening.

You stayed too late and definitely paid the price for it, but it was worth it, you told yourself as you cleaned the blood from your arms and hissed at the sting of a newly-formed bruise.

Then, one evening, it finally fell apart. He threw you out of the house, quite literally, and you were already knocking on Joel’s door before you could realise what you were doing.

He opened the door and you slammed yourself into him, causing him to let out a little cough as he stumbled back, arms tentatively wrapping around you.

“Woah, woah, y’alright sweetheart?” He asked, taken aback by your sudden action.

“Joel, I- I'm sorry.” You choked out, tightening your hold on him and fisting his shirt.

He ushered you gently into his apartment, closing the door behind you and sitting you down on the couch.

“What's goin’ on? What happened?” He said, watching as you trembled, lip quivering as you tried to formulate a sentence without bursting into tears.

You ultimately failed at that. Only managing the words my dad before a pained sob wracked through your entire body and you were crying into your palms.

Joel rushed to your side, pulling you into him and rubbing his hands up and down your back soothingly.

“‘s okay. You can talk to me, tell me what's goin’ on honey.” He told you, pulling back slowly from you to try and make you look at him, frown deepening on his face when he saw how upset you were.

“He- he- kicked me out, ‘cause I didn't- I lost the cards and- he got too angry at me so then- I was mad at him back and he hurt me so I said I didn't want to stay and he-” You stuttered, trying to actually remember what had happened in the first place then explain it as best you could.

His jaw clenched with anger. How could someone do that to their own child? Your father had clearly put you through so much emotionally and physically, and you had done nothing wrong. You were a good kid, and you deserved better than that. He could be better for you.

Your shaky breathing filled the room as he came back to his senses, willing his fury to stop clouding his head so he could focus on what was more important right now - you. He'd deal with him later.

His thumb reached up and wiped a stray tear from your face before he pulled you close again, hugging you tight.

“You stay here, okay? ‘m so sorry sweetheart. I won't let anythin’ bad happen to ya. Y’just gotta let me help you.” He said as you nodded into his shirt, a weak mm-hm muffled by the fabric before he slowly rose from the couch and walked into his kitchen.

He came back with a glass of water, offering it to you. “Drink this.” Your cautious fingers closed around it and brought it to your lips.

“‘s gonna be okay. You can stay here, if you want?” You had come to him, obviously hoping he'd ask you that, but hearing him actually say it gave you relief like nothing else could.

“Y-yes, please.” You said, putting the glass back down on the coffee table as he nodded, helping you up and taking you to his room.

“I'll stay out there on the couch for a bit, okay? ‘til we can sort somethin’ a little more proper out for ya.” He told you, going to find you some clothes that weren't almost completely torn up.

When he returned, he saw you blankly staring at the floor, hands fingering the same strand of hair mindlessly and not even realising him walking up to you.

He sighed, handing you the clothes and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“It'll be okay sweetheart. Nothin’ bads gonna happen anymore, he can't hurt you here.” He assured you, hugging you one more time before he left, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and requests are open 💞

[ssruis]

Hello welcome to yet another post that was 1) originally meant to be a short thing but it rapidly got out of hand 2) caters to me specifically 3) is all over the place because I kept finding more things I wanted to talk about

The way rui approaches emotions is so fascinating to me bc like. He approaches everything with a very rational/logical thought process instead of an emotional one and he tends to either ignore his emotions or view them as an obstacle/hinderance.

(From his gleaming stars card story)

If he acknowledges that he’s upset or unhappy he tends to just go “oh well. What can you do.” & then berates himself for not wanting to be unhappy. I feel like a lot of that can be explained by his childhood alienation from his peers.

In RMD his reaction to his classmates refusing to take part in his play once he explained the tree jump stunt & them calling him weird is to blame himself:

Little Nene: Rui, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen?

Little Rui: Nene… No. That’s not it. I pushed my show onto everyone and bothered them.

(From RMD - TL by Arven Oven)

Which is pretty telling. To Rui, the issue is that he asked for too much, that he as a person is something that must be tolerated by his peers.

But ultimately he still has faith that he’ll find his people.

Little Rui: …That’s right. People like you, Nene, who would say that they like my shows, surely exist out there. I want to make my own shows. But as of now - I think it might be a little hard.

(RMD)

And he *did* keep trying to find people who would accept him for a while - Wonder Halloween shows that he continued to try to reach out even after the stuff that happened in RMD, but eventually anyone he got a little close to would end up leaving & reinforcing his idea that he was too different from others to form relationships.

(From Wonder Halloween)

I’ve seen some people say him giving up on forming relationships was due to the events shown in RMD, but I think it was more of a result of him experiencing the same rejection over and over again. The definition of insanity is trying over and over again when the result never changes, and despite what his peers may think, Rui is not insane. I think he gradually lost faith in his parents assurance that he would find people who accepted him - he begins pushing Nene, the only person who hasn’t left him yet, away.

Middle School Rui: I’m working on a solo project… but I haven’t found anyone else like you that’s willing to help.

Middle School Nene: oh, I see…

Middle School Nene: then would you like to join the troupe I’m in…?

Middle School Nene: I mean, uh…

Middle School Rui: hehe. It’s nice of you to invite me, but there’s no need to pity me. I’m doing ok on my own, and it’s for the best anyway.

(From Wonder Halloween)

Why he pushed Nene away is sort of left up to interpretation - To protect her from himself? To leave her before she left like everyone else? - but I think the assumption that her invitation is out of pity show that at least part of his decision to push her away was out of the belief that she, like everyone else, was simply tolerating him. If he assumes everyone hates him/is scared of him right off the bat, he can avoid getting his hopes up and being crushed when he’s inevitably abandoned. It’s not unhealthy or detrimental to forming relationships he’s just recognizing a pattern and using it to predict the behavior of others (blatantly wrong).

Zombie Plushies: We can tell you’re just pretending to be friends! Deep down, you’re probably scared and disgusted by us too!

(…)

Zombie Plushies: We’ll never fit in with them anyway…

Rui: …! (Never fit in with them, huh…)

(…)

Rui: When I look at them… I remember how things used to be.

(WXS world link, TL by Haruka’s penguin)

He rationalized his loneliness with “I’m just incompatible with other people” which

1) ow.

2) if he’s incompatible with other people, there’s no reason to get his hopes up because he’ll never find people he fits in with

3) if nothing is ever going to get better, he should be content with being alone. There’s no reason to be sad over a fact of life. It is what it is.

4) being sad over this is inconvenient, unhelpful, and a distraction from following his dreams (on his own)

5) inflicting himself onto others is a selfish desire and he should just keep to himself. “It’s for the best, anyway.”

6) he’s perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need anyone for his shows, and he doesn’t need friends.

By the time the WXS main story takes place, he’s already fully convinced himself that he’s better off alone, and that Actually It’s Super Beneficial For Him & His Shows And He’s Fine Like This.

Middle School Rui: Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.

Middle School Mizuki: huh?

Middle School Rui: In fact, it has had certain benefits for me. It’s given me plenty of time to see plays and to think over ideas for shows, for example.

(Kamikou festival)

Rui: hehe. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing a show together.

Rui: you see, I like to work alone and with absolute freedom to stage any show I want.

Rui: as long as my shows fill my audience’s hearts with joy, I’m perfectly satisfied.

(WXS main story) (“I’m perfectly satisfied” me when I lie)

I feel like it’s overlooked that the only reason rui joined wxs was to get nene in the group. I’m probably going to talk about his continued pushing of Tsukasa’s limits/suggesting insane stunts and over emphasizing how dangerous they are at a later date - and how that was (imo) an attempt to find the point where Tsukasa would hate and leave him too -

(surely this is too good to be true, Tsukasa/wxs will be like all the others -> wait he’s not calling me a freak and leaving ok I guess I’ll go full throttle on the insane shit surely at some point he’ll get tired of me -> he got injured because of me and he’s still here?? what the fuck???? Well now I care about him & this group so I need to pull back I’m not going to get a second chance)

(Wonder Halloween)

- but I would like to briefly mention that Rui literally suggests risking Tsukasa’s life right off the bat & when Tsukasa is like “?? I don’t want to die???” Rui just goes “alright I’m out of the group I guess bye. have fun nene!”

Rui: Don't worry, the device can be securely attached to the stage in a way that will keep the audience perfectly safe. Please make sure you don't touch it or you'll die.

Tsukasa: what about keeping ME safe?!

(…)

Tsukasa: I’m not going to risk my life on-stage!

Rui: but you said you’d perform any role I gave you to, quote, 12000%, unquote!

Rui: I'm afraid that I have no choice but to step down as a stage director. Nene, good luck working with these people.

(Wxs main story)

Unfortunately humans are a social species & emotions don’t follow (faulty) logic so rui *was* unhappy on his own and he *did* want to have friends. Which I’m sure he continued to call himself selfish/greedy for feeling. Rationalizing all of this was a way he could accept/make peace with being miserable (because it must be this way, because this is how it will always be).

Rui: I was the same a long time ago… I gave up on fitting in with anyone.

(…)

Rui: If they don’t understand me, that just can’t be helped, if they disagree with the way I think, that just can’t be helped… I would think like that.

Rin: Rui-kun…

Rui: - in reality, I really did want to put on a show with someone else. But people didn’t understand the shows I was making. On a subconscious level, I convinced myself it wasn’t going to work out and gave up on the idea.

(WXS world link)

(Wxs Journey to bloom animation)

This added scene from the main story animation adds to this - why he leaves WXS did have to do with Tsukasa yelling at Nene, but the reason he doesn’t come back after Nene forgives Tsukasa is because Tsukasa’s self centered attitude is something that antithetical to a belief that Rui thought he’d given up on a long time ago: great shows *can’t* be made alone, no matter how many times you insist that you don’t need anyone else. As much as he denied it, Rui *did* still want to connect with people and be accepted - not just for the purpose of making shows, but to have a place where he belonged. For the first time in years Rui got his hopes up, started believing in what his parents told him, and Tsukasa proved to him that he never should have done so in the first place. Unlike the other times, though, Rui is the one to walk away first. & then tsukasa/wxs do the whole “true feelings” show etc etc we know how the main story ends.

That being said, I think that Rui still subconsciously believed WXS would grow to hate him and leave because he would finally be Too Much. Wonder Halloween showed him that this wasn’t true (Which is why it’s so important that the zombie plushies in the world link performed potato ghost to connect to the other plushies - it’s the show that was performed when Rui fully realized that wxs was not going to abandon him.) but I feel like that only cemented the fact that wxs would keep performing alongside him, not that they were his friends.

Rui also very clearly did not process or evaluate how his childhood impacted him.

Nene: When you talked about the old days, you seemed happy.

Rui: fufu. I don’t mind it anymore because it was so long ago.

(His RMD card story - TL by Rubilia Heartfilia) (me when I lie part two)

After so long by himself, with shows as the only thing he had, I think that having a connection to people *outside* of shows was completely unfathomable to Rui.

Which is why he’s kind of incapable of realizing why the idea of leaving wxs hurts him so much,

(Curtain call)

why he doesn’t realize why he starts holding back in wonder Halloween or why he holds back on the cheer squad,

(Cheer squad event)

And why he’s surprised that wxs cares for him not just as a director, but as a friend.

(Festival bathed in twilight)

I make fun of him for taking a year to finally be like “yeah tsukasa-kun and I are friends” but I think it’s pretty reasonable taking his trust/abandonment issues into account. Accepting Tsukasa’s offer to join wxs (twice) changed his life drastically - he realizes that he can connect to others outside of shows, that it’s possible for him to form relationships with people outside of wxs. Rui just needed to make the choice to accept the outreached hands - not changing the parts of himself that people previously deemed too weird or strange (not that he was ever going to do that anyways) but changing his attitude of “it’s just impossible for me to be accepted.”

Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.

Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.

Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others

Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.

(…)

Tsukasa: but… it’s not only just thanks to me, y’know?

Rui: eh?

Tsukasa: think about it. No matter how many chances I gave you, if you had refused to change, you would never have done so, right?

(Pandemonium, TL by Tsukasa’s #3 fan)

This is also why he tends to berate himself for having the very normal desire to hold on to wxs. He’s never had something like this before, where he has people who accept and love him as he is. He’s never wanted to keep something as badly as this. He’s asking too much of them, he’s imposing like he did with his classmates in RMD, he should let them leave. It’s the mature thing to do. He spent so long on his own, he should be fine going back to that, isn’t it selfish and greedy to want more?

(Curtain call)

(Talking abt wanting to keep doing shows w wxs and his actions in OHE) Rui: Now that I think about it, I’ve been pretty selfish.

(World link)

Rui: (…When the time comes, even I, too, will have to move forward.)

Rui: (…Moving forward, can I do that?)

Rui: (…Geez, I really lack a backbone. When will the time come when I find myself satisfied with the way things are?)

(…)

Rui: (While working to make my dream come true, together with everyone, I will make their dreams come true. A way to do that - let me think of one.)

Rui: (fufu, how greedy of me.)

(Curtain call - TL by Arven Oven & Tsukasa’s #3 Fan) (fuck you ensekai)

I think that, in future events, he’ll (hopefully) come to realize there are more people who will accept him (& get more trust ranks. Please.). I think it’s an impossible ask for him to be completely fine with wxs going their separate ways some day (and the same goes for everyone else in wxs), but I think when the time comes it will at least be bittersweet and with the knowledge that he can find other places to belong & that his relationships with the rest of wxs is strong enough to withstand not being in the same troupe. Things can’t stay the same forever, but change doesn’t have to be bad. Etc etc.