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hungryistrying · 4 months ago

Text

something here (i'm biding time 'til it disappears)

summary:

What is Jinx scared of, you might ask? The chewed holes which are obvious signs of a rat infestation? The warnings from their new landlord that they should keep the toilet lid shut in case of cockroaches? Or maybe the array of loud and extremely suspicious sounds at night? Nope. Not even close. Jinx was born and raised in Zaun, then spent the last four years of her life in a college dormitory the size of a peanut. She could deal with a shabby, cheap first apartment. Especially when she’s still trying to find a job that she actually studied for. But moving in with Ekko fucking terrifies her.

In which Jinx and Ekko move in together and she feels very calm and normal about the ordeal.

rating: teen

word count: 9706

status: completed

crossposted to ao3

“Do you wanna move in together?”

That was the fateful question that might potentially ruin Jinx’s life.

Because when Ekko casually asked her that very question– after lamenting that his lease was ending and his roommate planned to move away– Jinx just as casually agreed, too preoccupied to properly consider what living with Ekko could mean for their relationship.

In her defense, they were in the middle of binging the latest telenovela she picked up, so her priorities had lied elsewhere at that moment… Specifically with whether or not Bianca's evil mother-in-law would successfully ruin her marriage (well, that's probably what she was trying to do).

That aside, her graduation was right around the corner, she'd already cleared out her dorm room, and her only plan was to move in with Vi to leech off her and her wife until she could afford her own place (it's a younger sibling privilege, alright).

However, given that Jinx honestly couldn't stand her sister-in-law– despite Vi's impassioned attempts to remedy that fact– moving in with her boyfriend seemed way more appealing than essentially becoming Vi and Caitlyn's permanent third wheel.

Especially when he beamed at her when she said yes, showing her that smile that spread so wide it made his dimples show. Jinx would've joked that she needed a pair of sunglasses because of him, had her stomach not been preoccupied with doing backflips at the sight.

That, combined with his excitement as he showed her different apartment listings they could apply for, made it hard for her to consider how this could be a bad idea. Now that they’re actually here, however, Jinx's mind is racing, her heart is pounding, and she comes to a singular, damning realization.

She's scared.

The feeling hits her belatedly. Akin to the sensation of getting stabbed and the pain only hitting hours later when the rush of adrenaline has worn off (...which is totally not something that actually happened to her). It only occurs to her when she and Ekko are already in their new apartment, moving in dozens of boxes with their belongings.

And what is she scared of, you might ask? The chewed holes which are obvious signs of a rat infestation? The warnings from their new landlord that they should keep the toilet lid shut in case of cockroaches? Or maybe the array of loud and extremely suspicious sounds at night?

Nope. Not even close. Jinx was born and raised in Zaun, then spent the last four years of her life in a college dormitory the size of a peanut. She could deal with a shabby, cheap first apartment. Especially when she’s still trying to find a job that she actually studied for.

But moving in with Ekko fucking terrifies her.

“Fuck, I'm tired,” Ekko groans, setting down the last box of their haul. They've had to move everything by themselves since none of their friends had time to help them– the downside of moving on a Tuesday afternoon.

Jinx doesn’t spare him a glance while putting down a box herself, reaching for a pair of scissors on the kitchen counter so she can cut it open. Her body moves on autopilot, mind still racing with concerns.

Why the fuck is moving in with Ekko so nerve-wracking all of a sudden? Jinx didn't feel a sliver of doubt before. Not while they were apartment hunting; Nor when they had to collect a headache-inducing amount of documents to apply for this place; Not even when they were actually signing the lease. But now she's standing in their new apartment and can only think of all the ways this could go wrong.

“...inx? Jinx!” She startles at the sound of her name, a resounding clatter echoing across the still-bare apartment as the scissors fall out of her hand and onto the tiled floor.

Cursing under her breath, she bends down to pick them up, her hand brushing against Ekko's – since when was he standing beside her? – who bent down to do the same.

“Careful.” His tone is gentle, but it only sets her nerves further alight. “Are you alright?”

She looks up to find his gaze already trained on her, a furrow forming between his brow at her lack of response. Fucking fantastic, they just moved in and she's already stressing him out.

Jinx snorts as nonchalantly as she can. “What? You think a pair of kitchen scissors is gonna take me out?”

Ekko gives her his signature unimpressed look, the one he only gives her when they're bantering, and Jinx feels something in her chest ease at the potential landmine she just averted. But then, because he's Ekko and can never let things go without looking for a problem to solve, he continues, “You know that's not what I meant.”

“Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?” Jinx lies because she's a fucking liar, even adding an exaggerated eye roll to sell the bit. Honestly, she should get an Oscar.

Ekko doesn't look convinced, however, so maybe she should kiss that make-believe Oscar goodbye. Before he can open his mouth and keep pushing, Jinx says, “What did you call me for anyway?”

At her not-so-subtle diversion, he gives her That Look. The one that, over the last two years, Jinx has learned to read as “We're not done talking about this.” And that's perfectly fine with her, because unbeknownst to Ekko, they are done talking about it. In fact, there's nothing to talk about. It's just her having first apartment jitters. Or something.

After all, Jinx has never lived by herself, and that in and of itself is already nerve-wracking. She's fresh out of college, still job hunting, and her cooking expertise is limited to grilled cheese sandwiches and instant ramen. So surely it's perfectly normal to feel this way. She'll get over it and they'll go back to the way they were.

Jinx innocently looks at him as if there's nothing wrong (because there isn't!). Eventually, Ekko just sighs and answers, “I asked you what we should get for dinner. Ionian? Pizza?”

“What? You're not cooking a three-star Michelin meal for our first day together?” she jokes.

Leveling her with an unimpressed stare, Ekko walks further into their desolate kitchen, still looking at her over his shoulder. “Right, how could I forget?” He blindly reaches forward, grabbing at air. “Let me just grab some ingredients from the– Oh.” His head swivels to look at the space in front of him, before he turns back to her with feigned surprise, and says, “Oh, that's right. We don't have a fridge!”

She snorts at his dramatics before she frowns and thinks. “Didn't you already have a fridge, though?”

“I did.” He walks back to her, leaning back against one of the counters. “I let Scar take most our furniture. He has a baby on the way, so he's losing enough money as it is.”

Jinx blinks, surprised at the revelation. She's not sure why. Of course Ekko of all people would do something so stupidly selfless.

Despite the warm flutter in her chest, she groans and says, “You know you're disgustingly nice, right?” He rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny it, so she pulls herself up to sit on the counter beside him and asks, “So now what? We go fridge-shopping tomorrow?”

“We could.” Ekko shrugs. “Or we borrow my dad's minivan and drive to the dump to see if some sucker from Piltover threw out a perfectly good fridge.”

“Now there's a good idea!”

“Know what else is a good idea?” He moves to stand in front of her, resting his hands on her knees and gently pushing them apart so he can stand between them. Without thinking about it, Jinx rests her arms on his shoulders as she inquisitively hums so he'll continue.

“Dinner,” he concludes. “Now tell me what you want so I can pick something up.”

With a sigh, she looks up at the ceiling while considering his question. It’s covered in yellow stains. Gross. They should repaint the walls. Maybe she could even add some fun designs…She’s pretty sure Vi has spare paint cans lying around somewhere.

The hands on her thighs briefly tighten, drawing her attention back to him. Still undecided, she shrugs. “Just get whatever, it’s fine.”

Ekko stares at her entirely unconvinced, but doesn't say anything. Eventually, she cracks and asks, “What?”

“So you'll eat whatever I get for dinner. Am I hearing that right?”

“Yes! It’s fine, I'm not that picky.”

“I swear,” he sighs, “if I come back with takeout and you say you don't feel like eating it again–”

“What?!” Jinx interrupts, indignation flaring. “I never do that!”

“You do this every single time!” Ekko argues, pulling away from her. Jinx reluctantly lets him, despite the coldness seeping into the growing space between their bodies. “I’m not buying shit until you pick something.”

Jinx groans, but knows better than to doubt Ekko's stubbornness at this point, so she concedes, “Okay, fine! Get the fish stew from Jericho then.”

Ekko's already reaching for his jacket by the entryway when Jinx yells “Wait!” and jumps off the counter, running to him. Grabbing both his cheeks, she squishes their mouths together in a chaste kiss before pulling back and adding, “And get your own fries this time, you glutton.”

“Man, whatever,” he grumbles, shrugging on his jacket while Jinx just laughs. “I'm leaving, be back soon, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jinx shoos him away. “Go get dinner already! I'll start on the bed so we can sleep tonight.”

The door closes with a thud that feels much louder than she realistically knows it is. She turns back to look at the apartment. Their apartment. Despite its modest size, without Ekko here, it feels much too large for her liking.

With a sigh, she tries to exhale the last of her doubts, reaching for the abandoned kitchen scissors so she can cut the bubble wrap off their disassembled bed.

She can shake these feelings off. They're just first apartment jitters, right?

Sadly – by the time they managed to procure a fridge from the city dump, haul it up the stairs and into their apartment – the nerves have not faded. The aggravating argument they had in the downstairs hallway did not help matters: Ekko bemoaning they should've gotten a trolley while she insisted the two of them would be able to drag it up the stairs just fine without one.

Luckily, their landlady overheard them and did in fact have a trolley, sparing them the trouble of finding out (but Jinx knows for a fact they could've made it work anyway). She would've argued as much, but one look at Ekko's face had her swallowing any more arguments, along with the bile suddenly rising in her throat. Because Ekko looked annoyed with her. And sure, that wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but it felt different now that they were living together.

What if he regrets it now? Regrets her. They've barely started living together, but what if he's already tired of her being in his space all the time? Of her always messing things up; of her chaos; of her stubbornness; of her impulsiveness; of her always ruining things– What if it’s too much now that he has to be around her constantly?

Jinx glances at Ekko and considers asking. Maybe it’ll be better just to rip off the bandage.

“Let’s never do that shit again,” he says, standing up from where he sat slumped against the wall after they nearly got taken out carrying a fridge up two flights of stairs. He catches her eye before she can look away and raises a curious eyebrow. “What’s up?”

Do you hate me now? Am I annoying? Do you want to break up? The questions try to rise to the tip of her tongue but get stuck in her throat, suffocating her.

“Nothing,” she ends up saying. Because what if she rips off the bandage and finds a gunshot wound? Or what if her brain is just setting her up for failure again and she creates a problem where there never was one?

Ekko nods as if there’s nothing wrong; As if he didn’t just look at her like he hates her and regrets this–

Alright, she might be spiraling and has to calm down.

“I’m gonna return my dad's van and give this to Babette while I'm at it. Be right back, alright?” He grabs Babette's trolley and heads out before she can respond.

Jinx does not flinch at the resounding thud after he closes the door.

She’s not spiraling. Definitely not spiraling. He said he’ll be back and she believes him and everything will be okay.

Sitting here trapped with only her thoughts, which predictably, fucking suck, is making her jittery. She has to do something to turn off her brain and redirect her focus. Something useful so Ekko won’t hate her.

She looks at their newly acquired fridge and feels a light bulb turn on over her head, nearly tripping over her own feet in her excitement to race to the fridge.

Before he headed out, the two of them had managed to put it in the right spot and plug the power cord in. By now it should've been running for long enough that Jinx can start figuring out what's wrong with the damn thing.

Opening the fridge (and nearly gagging at the smell), she looks around and tries to figure out what’s wrong with it. She’ll fix the fridge and they’ll have one less thing to worry about.

By the time the front door opens, Jinx has four boxes hauled into the kitchen, electronics and mechanical parts spilling out (because she's a hoarder and keeps everything just in case it's useful one day), her phone blasting Pentakill on the counter, and is sitting hunched inside of the fridge.

At the creak of the door, she peaks her head out of the fridge and grins at the sight of Ekko…Well, as close as she can get to a grin with four nails precariously trapped between her teeth.

“Hey.” He closes the door with one hand, balancing a tub of tupperware in the other. “You been busy?”

Jinx spits out the nails so she can respond, “Yup! Fridge is almost done. I fixed up the compressor, the seals, replaced the vents, and now I’m just changing some broken lights.”

She carefully places the nails down on the counter, right next to the tupperware Ekko had just set down, prompting her to ask, “What about you, huh? Whatcha got there?”

Before he can even answer, Jinx is already ripping off the lid, revealing pasta covered in chicken and a creamy sauce, steam still wafting off the food. A satisfied hum escapes her mouth at the fragrant smell.

Ekko laughs at her palpable excitement. “My mom made us pasta. I'll let her know it was a hit.”

“Absolutely. Her cooking is the best part about dating you.” Jinx grins, popping the lid back on.

He scoffs, mock-offended. “That’s the best part? Not the fact that I'm smart, super funny, handsome, and always buy you those disgusting drinks?”

Jinx scrunches her nose as she pretends to consider his question for a moment, before she concludes, "Nope. Definitely none of those things."

“I see how it is…” Ekko clicks his tongue. “Know what? Let me just take this and go.” He moves to pick up the pasta, but Jinx practically launches herself at the container before he can get very far.

“Wait, wait, wait! I take it back. I'll even tolerate your Mountain Dew hatred.” Seeing his unimpressed look and steadfast grip on the tupperware, Jinx grumbles and adds, “And the best part of dating you is that you're smart and funny and hot and a great kisser– Now stop making me say embarrassing shit!”

Ekko hums in consideration, before nodding and finally releasing the pasta from his clutches. “Alright, the delivery wasn't that great but you get bonus points for the great kisser thing.”

Jinx scoffs, grabbing the forgotten screws off the counter. “You suck.”

“Thanks, love you too,” he answers with a saccharine smile.

In a tragic turn of events, her heart flutters at his words, despite their obvious sarcasm. But she refuses to give him any more leverage over her, so just grumbles, “Whatever, I’m gonna finish up these lights so we can eat.”

“Alright, I’ll go ahead and plate this up then,” he answers, rummaging through their several unpacked bags, presumably in search of plates and cutlery.

For a moment, quiet settles over them as they get to work on their respective tasks. The apartment is filled with sounds of rustling bags and metal touching as Jinx drives the screws back in, carefully maneuvering her head so her shadow doesn’t block the dying light of the sun spilling through the windows.

She hears Ekko begin humming to the next song on her playlist– the music scarcely loud enough to block out the rush of traffic and passing trains just outside their apartment– and her heart swells at the sound. Or maybe it’s from the realization of how…normal this is.

Because Jinx has never really had anything normal or stable in her life. She fucks things up and people leave her and end up hating her. But maybe, just maybe, if it’s with Ekko, she doesn’t have to feel that way.

Of course, just as she has this epiphany, Ekko innocently asks, “Why’d you get started on the fridge anyway? I figured we’d do it together some other time,” and the feeling crumbles and disperses with the wind, like it was never there in the first place.

Dread fills its place instead, and Jinx has to force herself to swallow it down before she responds, her voice carefully neutral, “Oh, you know, I just figured it’d be better to get the damn thing over with.”

She can’t glean much from his responding hum, the sound too dispassionate for her to analyze how he feels. And how she should respond in turn. So, cautiously, she asks, “Why? Are you mad I did it without you?”

“No?” The genuine confusion in his voice fills Jinx with a contradictory sense of relief and shame. “I just thought it would be easier if we did it together, but if you already got it that's great.”

So it's nothing. Great. He's not mad at her. See? Everything's fine and she did a super helpful thing and he's taking it well and so is she and–

“Fuck,” Ekko curses, breaking her train of thought.

…Shit, maybe he is lying.

“Jinx.” This is it, she thinks, holding her breath as she waits for the other shoe to drop. “I…may have forgotten to bring any plates.”

…

Well.

That was anticlimactic.

Jinx blinks and turns to look at him across the room, a sheepish smile on his face, as he sits on the floor surrounded by a dozen ravished bags and unpacked boxes. A beat of silence. Jinx blankly stares at him. Then laughter spills from her, bursting uncontrollably from her under all the pressure.

Ekko looks at her nonplussed. “Jinx?”

“No, no,” she wipes a stray tear from her eye, “it’s nothing.”

Jinx just shakes her head, her brain doing its best not to lag behind this ridiculous turn of events. She begins setting her tools aside and shutting the fridge. It’s as good as done anyway, might as well take a rain check on that and leave cleaning it for tomorrow.

"Well, do we have forks?" she asks, pausing the music before walking over to Ekko. He remains seated on the floor, his back turned to her as he stubbornly continues to check all the bags despite what he just told her.

“Uh, yeah,” he raises a hand to vaguely gesture in the direction of three other bags, while the bag in front of him has his undivided attention, “somewhere in there, I think. I just can’t believe I forgot to get plates of all things.”

“Well, no point crying over spilled milk, right?” Jinx shrugs, leaning forward and resting her hands on his shoulders. He looks up at her with a frown; his face looks funny upside down like this. “How about you grab your laptop, I get those forks, and we can watch a show while we eat?”

He sighs and gently removes her hands so he can stand up, giving her a knowing look as he asks, “You mean that telenovela we should just find subtitles for?”

“It’s more fun when you don’t know what’s going on!” Jinx argues, shoving him in the direction of their bedroom. “Now get your laptop already so we can enjoy our three-star Michelin meal.”

He ends up laughing at her words, the sound breaking his facade of exasperation. Jinx just rolls her eyes as she turns to rummage through the other bags until she finally manages to spot the forks.

With a hum, she washes the forks clean before popping the lid off the tupperware and artfully sticking the now-clean forks in. Jinx steps into their living room – if it can even be called that in its sorry state – with the tupperware in one hand, briefly bending down so she can pick up a leftover six-pack of cola with the other.

She takes a look around the bare room, trepidation filling her at how empty it is. Will this last long enough for her to see it filled with their belongings? Or will this relationship reach its inevitable end before they've even painted the walls and hung the curtains?

Two years. That’s how long she’s been dating Ekko now. Ekko, who has been in her life since that one fateful summer when she was eleven. Back when she was still filled with childish naivety and had hopes that one day somebody would love her just as she is.

Of course, then life happened and she got a rude reality check.

Because Jinx didn't have healthy and committed relationships; Jinx texted hot guys on Tinder and flirted with pretty girls on campus she didn’t give a shit about; Jinx had toxic situationships that were bound to crash and burn, to remind her that no one could ever really love her.

How Ekko's managed to put up with her for so long – enough so that he'd ask her to live with him – she has no idea. But she's never done this before with anyone, never been in a relationship with anyone as long as she has been with Ekko. And a treacherous part of her mind always insists that this can’t last.

Yet Jinx can’t bring herself to leave before she gets burned either. So she lives in dread, awaiting the day he finally realizes what he's gotten himself into. She's always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to decide he's tired of her.

“Alright, ready?” Ekko’s voice startles her out of her thoughts. She whips her head in his direction, his smile shining through the clouded parts of her mind like a ray of sunlight.

“Yeah.” She nods, plopping down on her bean bag and taking a deep, calming breath through her nose. “So, uh, what episode were we on?”

Ekko sets the laptop on the floor between them, frowning at her while Jinx innocently plays with one of her braids and pretends she doesn’t notice.

Unfortunately, she must not be very successful, since he insistently meets her eyes anyway and asks, “What's up with you?”

“Hm?” She raises a curious eyebrow, feigning ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs. “You’ve just been acting weird these last couple of days. Are you–

“No.” She doesn’t know what he was trying to ask her, but she has a feeling she doesn’t want to know either.

Ekko looks unconvinced. In fact, he looks like he wants to argue more; like he wants to fix whatever’s wrong. Typical Ekko, always ready to solve everyone else’s problems even when he already has too much on his plate. And he really has his work cut out for him when it comes to her.

With a sigh, she stands in front of him and rests her hands on his shoulders, using the leverage to guide him to sit on the other bean bag. “Look, I’m fine, okay? Just a little tired after today. Can we relax and worry about the rest tomorrow, please?”

For a moment he simply frowns at her, then his expression softens. He raises her hand off his shoulder, drawing circles on her inner wrist with his thumb, before he raises it to his mouth and places a gentle kiss there. Jinx feels her stomach flip at the soft press of his lips on her skin.

“Alright.” He nods at her abandoned bean bag beside him. “Now sit down, I'm starving.”

Any witty quip she might've come up with dies at the tip of her tongue as she's filled with warmth all over, mutely nodding as she sits back down beside him.

“Hold on,” Ekko says, scrolling down his phone, “I gotta turn on my hotspot. I called the internet provider but they can't hook us up ‘til next week.”

Jinx hums in response, popping open a can of cola for herself and setting another one aside for Ekko. Something nudges at the back of her mind at his words, but she can't quite put her finger on it.

“Okay, got it.” Ekko presses play on the telenovela, the opening song playing while he grabs one of the forks to scarf down a generous bite of the pasta.

Jinx snorts. “Sheesh, didn't know you were starving.” Suddenly a light bulb turns on over her head. “Oh, we should do groceries tomorrow! You know, now that we actually have a fridge.” She makes a face. “After we clean the damn thing, that is.”

Ekko swallows down his food, before responding, “Didn't you say you wanted to relax and forget about all this?”

“Ugh, whatever.” Jinx weakly smacks his arm. “I'm just thinking ahead and all that. Really, you should be proud of me.”

“Oh, definitely.” Ekko sagely nods, before reaching out to flick her nose, eliciting an indignant yelp from Jinx. “Now if you really wanna make me proud, eat some dinner already. I know for a fact you only ate a pop-tart today.”

She scoffs. “Like you’re one to talk, spaceboy. You ate froot loops straight out of the box this morning and you’re gonna school me on healthy eating?”

“...Let’s just watch the damn show and eat.”

It takes Jinx two whole minutes to stop laughing so hard that she can in fact watch the damn show and eat.

They’ve been standing in front of the herbs and spices aisle for ten minutes now.

“Your mom text back yet?” Jinx asks, turning to Ekko.

He puts his phone away with a sigh. “Nope.”

“I don’t get it. I thought you knew how to cook.”

“I do!” he insists. “But Scar usually did the groceries so I didn’t have to think about what I should buy. I just grabbed what I needed from the cupboards.”

“Hm.” Jinx squints at him. “So you’re a conman.”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t wanna hear that from you, you can’t even cook.”

“But I can bake!”

“Doesn’t count, baking is just chemistry.”

Jinx glares at him for a moment, before giving up and redirecting her attention back to the spice aisle. “Whatever! Let’s just grab some shit and go. We can just come back if we need more spices.” She grabs for salt, pepper, cinnamon, cajun, smoked paprika, garlic powder– whatever she can get her hands on– carelessly tossing a myriad of spice jars into their shopping cart.

“Assuming we can come back,” Ekko says, holding the cart steady so Jinx can climb back inside.

“Oh, not this again.” Jinx groans, rearranging the groceries so she can comfortably sit around them. “You get banned from a grocery store one time–

“Most people don’t get banned from grocery stores at all,” he interrupts, rolling the cart towards the checkout queue.

“Okay, but it was a Piltie store, so that doesn't even count.”

“True,” Ekko concedes, “but I got banned too even though I didn't do shit! I was just collateral damage.”

“That's cause you're my baby,” Jinx sing-songs in the most annoying voice she can muster, leaning forward to grab Ekko's face and planting a wet kiss on his cheek. The motion nearly causes him to steer them into a wall. “If I can't go, you can't either. Ride or die, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ekko grumbles, rolling his eyes, but Jinx can see the way he presses his lips together, suppressing a smile.

They join the check-in queue, Jinx remaining seated in the shopping cart as she and Ekko work in tandem to place all their groceries on the rolling band. A lady in front of them sneaks curious glances at her. They come to an abrupt end when Jinx pointedly turns her head around to stare the woman down.

Ekko doesn't comment on the exchange, but she can hear him laughing under his breath. In response, she sticks her tongue out at him, before continuing to place their groceries on the rolling band.

By the time they finish, their things have taken up all the space on the band, and Jinx has a mini heart attack when she's in the middle of packing their fourth grocery bag and she sees the total come in over five hundred dollars. She eyes Ekko incredulously, who just shrugs and takes out his card to pay for their groceries.

“...I didn’t think it’d cost that much,” she mutters when they’re outside, raising her arms so Ekko will lift her out of the shopping cart.

“Well, inflation is a bitch,” he grunts as he picks her up, carefully setting her down on the ground, “and we had to buy pretty much everything under the sun since our place is empty.”

Jinx knows it's irrational, but she still can't help but worry that she's a burden. That this is yet another reason why he'll inevitably tire of her. Her arms remain wrapped around his neck and Jinx uses the physical contact to steady her nerves as she asserts, “I’ll pay next time, okay?”

She nervously bites the inside of her cheek as she waits for Ekko’s response, but he just stares at her nonplussed. Then he chuckles, squeezing her cheek between his fingers and pulling the flesh free from her teeth. The action startles an indignant whine from her.

“I'm your boyfriend, Jinx, I'll take care of you,” he assures. “Don't worry so much about shit like that, okay?”

Her heart feels so warm and full at his declaration that it threatens to burst out of her chest. So Jinx channels the feeling by grabbing his face and peppering it with kisses. When she finally reaches his mouth, she lingers and feels him smiling against her lips in response.

She breaks the kiss, stepping out of his space and assenting, “Okay.”

“Good.” He smiles and ruffles her hair. “Now let’s go,” he says, grabbing half of their bags from the shopping cart, “next train leaves in fifteen.”

Jinx grabs the other two bags and falls into step beside him. Despite what she just said, she can’t help but still feel a deep-seated doubt that compels her to say, “...What if we return some of the spices? It should save us at least some cash.”

Ekko looks at her, affronted. “Hell no, we are not eating unseasoned food like Vi’s Piltie wife.”

The laugh that startles out of Jinx melts away the remainder of her nerves.

When they finally make it back to their apartment (which still feels weird but Jinx is warming up to the concept more and more) night has fallen. Neon lights from the street signs outside cast a faint glow over the otherwise dark room. Yeah, they should invest in some good curtains.

Jinx struggles to drag the bags into the kitchen, ungracefully dropping them on the floor. “Oh thank god,” she groans, rubbing at her sore arms. “I’m gonna go…” she trails off, shuffling her way into the living area and collapsing face-first onto one of the bean bags.

She hears Ekko laugh at her dramatics, turning on the lights and locking the door before making his way over to crash down beside her.

“Hi,” he says.

She turns her head to look at him. He's smiling at her, compelling her to smile back. “Hi.”

His hand inches towards her face and Jinx feels his thumb brush against her forehead, wiping a bead of sweat away. “You should take a shower.”

“With you?” she jokes, with an exaggerated wiggle of her eyebrows.

“No, not with me.” He huffs an amused breath, leaning out of her space to get up. He rises with a tired groan, pressing a hand to the back of his neck to rub at the soreness, before giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m serious, go ahead. I’ll unpack the groceries in the meantime.”

“Well, then I’m serious too,” Jinx decides, pushing herself up to stand beside him. “We’re gonna unpack this mess together, and then we’ll take a shower. Also together.” She shoots him a cheeky grin. “It’ll lower our water bill.”

“Oh, that's why?” Ekko smirks, raising an eyebrow at her. “You don’t have some ulterior motive?”

“No!” Jinx insists, faux-offended. “Why? What were you thinking about, you pervert?”

“Whatever,” Ekko laughs, grabbing one of the bags and putting it atop the counter. “Come on then, let's get this over with so we can keep that water bill low.”

She happily joins him in the kitchen and they work in comfortable silence as they unpack everything, filling up the previously empty cabinets. Jinx allows hope to fill her heart along with them; allows herself to finally believe that this can last and their home will only become fuller and fuller with their shared memories.

After all, they've already made it this far. Who's to say they can't do this for the rest of their lives?

“Hey, what if we pick up some paint tomorrow?” Jinx says, passing Ekko a bag of sugar so he can put it in the cupboard. “We could spruce up those boring walls a little.”

Ekko turns to look at her, taking the bag from her. “Oh, good thinking–

Darkness falls over the room, putting an abrupt stop to Ekko’s words.

…She really can’t have shit, huh?

“What the hell?” she hears him say while her eyes struggle to adjust to the sudden darkness. Then a bright light shines in front of her. Ekko turned on his phone’s flashlight.

Jinx blinks nonplussed. “Did…Did our power just go out?”

“Looks like it.” Ekko turns to look out the window, where the neon lights still shine bright. “And it’s just us.”

“That can’t be right.” Jinx frowns, that sense of foreboding creeping up on her again. “I’m gonna go check our meters.”

Ekko nods in agreement, swiping down his phone. The bag of sugar lies forgotten next to him. “Okay, I’m calling the energy provider in the meantime.”

She tries to ignore the uneasy feeling that grows in her gut as she reaches for her phone, turning on the flashlight before making her way to their supply closet. Upon opening the door, a cloud of dust bursts out of the supply closet, nearly sending her into a coughing fit. Jinx ignores it, simply swiping away any cobwebs so she can step inside and look at their meters.

Shit. There are no digits on it. In a panic, Jinx flips various buttons up and down to see if anything will happen. However, the apartment remains dark and it steadily gets colder because their gas no longer works either.

Eventually– when she tires of attempting to magically turn their electricity back on while being held hostage by her own panic– Jinx gives up. She tries in vain to breathe out her nerves as she steps back into the living room. Ekko has wrapped up his call and is frowning at her.

“Jinx,” he starts, rubbing at his temples. She thinks she might throw up. “I thought you called the energy company last week?”

“I did!” she insists. Didn't she? Oh no. The thought that’d been locked into a corner of her mind rushes to the forefront, slamming into her like a train. She didn't.

“If you did, I'm pretty sure we’d have electricity right now.” Ekko sighs, exasperated. “I just called them and they say you never called back when they left a message that they’d cut off our power.”

“I…” She fucked up. She always fucks up.

“Did you really forget? Or…or is this why you’ve been acting weird? Do you actually not–

“I did forget!” she shrieks, her breath becoming shorter and shorter. “I always ruin things, so I messed up again. What else is new?” The cruel laugh that escapes her throat gets smothered by an ugly sob. “And– And I know you hate me. I know you’re tired of me. Just like everyone else. I…” she trails off, her throat closing up and preventing her from continuing.

The beat of her heart drums so loudly in her ears that it drowns out everything else. She can’t even hear how Ekko must be berating her, now that he’s finally had enough of her. His voice is strangely far away. Like her head has been dunked underwater.

Tears and a lack of oxygen blur her vision. But Jinx stubbornly holds her breath anyway, tightly pressing her lips together so she doesn’t break down right here and now.

“Hey! Jinx! Look at me!”

She flinches when she feels something touch her. Ekko. His hands on her arms. But his touch feels vice-like, suffocating her. She can’t do this right now. She pulls away from him as if burned, her stumbling steps turning into a full run.

Jinx wants to crawl out of her skin.

She has to get away from this.

Away from another person who hates her guts.

Another relationship she’s ruined.

She rushes into the bathroom, frantically slamming the door behind her and fumbling with the lock. Her breath comes out shallow and shaky, leaving her so light-headed that she ends up sliding down the floor.

Her head is pounding. Or is it Ekko pounding on the door? She can’t tell the difference anymore. She covers her ears with her hands, nails digging into her scalp as she desperately tries to drown everything out. She's squeezing her eyes shut so hard it forces the tears to slide down her face.

It’s her fault.

Always her fault.

She’s just a jinx, after all.

And now Ekko hates her, just like everyone else.

When she finally gathers the nerve to open her eyes everything is agonizingly quiet. She has no idea how much time has passed as she slowly picks herself up from the ground, her body sore and cold from how long she’s sat there.

Her reflection in the bathroom mirror is a mess, her eyes swollen, streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. She would’ve laughed at the fact that she resembles a raccoon if she didn’t still feel like crawling out of her skin.

With shaky hands she opens the medicine cabinet, unscrews the cap on her medication, and swallows the pill dry. The ensuing silence has her slamming the cabinet shut with more force than necessary.

Ekko must be sleeping already, assuming he’s still there. She’s too afraid to find out; too afraid to leave this bathroom and face the inevitable end of their relationship.

Instead, she kicks off her shoes and then strips off the rest of her clothes. They lie abandoned on the floor as Jinx steps into the bath and turns on the water.

The shower is frightfully cold, but Jinx is grateful for it. This is what she deserves, after all. She's shaking all over and her teeth are clattering, but at least her tears blend right in with the pour of water raining down on her skin.

Her fingers are pruning by the time she finally turns off the faucet. The iciness of the water no longer affects her, instead she just feels numb to the core. Water drips off her and onto the floor, as she steps out of the tub, leaving a wet trail in her wake when she finally gathers the courage to unlock the bathroom door and push it open.

In the dead of the night, its creaky hinges are like nails on a chalkboard. But the silence that follows is far more painful. He left. Of course he did. What did Jinx expect? She ruined this just like she ruined everything in her life. Why did he even ask her to move in with him? So he’d finally have a fucking excuse to leave her?

She makes her way to the bedroom and finds he’s not there either. One last bit of hope, that she didn’t realize she still possessed, shatters at the realization; at the confirmation that he really did leave her.

She doesn’t even have the energy to sob anymore. Her tears just quietly slide down her face as she shuffles into the room and scavenges through the dressing drawer containing Ekko’s clothes until she finds his favorite hoodie.

She’s tempted to set the thing on fire; to cut it into pieces and throw it into the trash. But honestly? She misses him. And it smells so much like him. So instead she just pulls it over her head and crawls into bed.

Jinx firmly wraps the blanket around herself to fight off the chill, but it's little use. The duvet is a poor substitute for the warmth Ekko always radiates when he's wrapped up around her. The fact that she’s still wet from her shower isn’t helping matters either.

It takes her several hours to stop crying. Even her tear ducts end up getting exhausted. Though she inevitably passes out, it's a fitful sleep. Jinx can hardly remember the last time she slept alone, but she'll have to learn how to get used to it again.

To put it plainly: Jinx wakes up feeling like shit. Her head is killing her, her skin is dry, and her hair is a damp, tangled mess.

And worst of all, Ekko isn’t lying beside her.

She reaches for his pillow, squeezing it to her chest and breathing in his smell. Maybe if she keeps lying here, it’ll turn out that none of this is real. It was all just a nightmare and Ekko will be in the kitchen. He’ll be eating those stupid fucking froot loops as fast as he can before he has to run to catch his train to work.

She spends several more minutes in bed, before deciding to get up and rip off the bandaid. He’s gone. Maybe instead of staying here and drowning in her misery, she’d be better off if she just left too.

Even if the thought makes her want to cry all over again.

Her head is spinning when she gets out of bed, but she forces herself to shuffle to the dresser anyway and pulls out a pair of sweats and socks, quietly slipping them on before leaving the room.

She stumbles into the living room. Her heart hurts being in here without Ekko. The unhung curtains, the TV still sealed in bubble wrap, the posters they securely tucked away– All of it for nothing. The home they were supposed to share would be emptied before they could even fill it.

She pauses when her foot bumps into something hard on the floor and looks down to see her phone. Jinx must’ve dropped it last night without noticing. With a frown, she picks it up, tapping the screen and cringing when she sees her battery at fourteen percent.

Then she sees her notifications: Seven missed calls, four voicemails, and six unread messages. All from Ekko.

Jinx drops her phone as if burned. It clatters on the floor, but she can’t bring herself to pick it up when she feels panic overtaking her again. She doesn’t want to know what he has to say. But at the same time, she’s dying to find out.

The dilemma has her pacing the room for ten minutes before she groans and snatches her stupid phone off the floor again. With her heart in her throat, Jinx opens the messages.

BEST BOY ❣️ Hey I get that you don't wanna talk to me rn so imma stay with my folks for now I'm really sorry abt what happened can we talk about it? Just tell me if you want me to come back or nah Please I love you

Jinx can only blink as she reads his messages. Then she makes herself stop so she doesn’t tear up again. She moves to sit back on the bean bag and opens the first voicemail.

“Hey.” Her heart squeezes at the sound of Ekko’s voice. It’s barely been half a day, yet somehow she feels like she hasn’t heard him talk to her in an eternity.

“I’m, uh, really sorry for hurting you. Oh. And I emptied the fridge cause, you know, no power and all that…And I just-” He abruptly stops, and all Jinx hears is a loud sigh. “Man, I suck at doing these things over the phone. Could we talk about it? In person? I’ll, uh, give you some space, but please let me know if you’re okay, at least.”

The other voicemails echo similar sentiments. Jinx listens to them over and over again, despite the way her heart aches.

He sounds so distraught. Stumbling over his words and his voice cracking in a way that’s so uncharacteristic of him. Just when she thought she had no tears left to cry, more fall from her eyes as she listens to Ekko speak.

Jinx aggressively wipes her tears away with her sleeve and assesses their apartment again through a different lens.

Maybe…maybe she can still try and fix things. She might not succeed but, fuck it, she has nothing left to lose at this point. At the very least– even if her relationship with Ekko is doomed, even if he’s already realized he’s better off without her– maybe she can try to make this less bad for him. Because he always made things better for her.

She picks up her phone, reopens the messages Ekko left her, and begins typing. And deleting her words. And typing again. And deleting her words again. The cycle only ends when her phone interrupts it by notifying her that her battery level is at ten percent.

…Alright, she should seriously wrap this up. She types out four simple words, then locks her phone and gets ready to go run some errands.

You come over at 6

A drop of paint falls to the newspaper on the floor when Jinx lifts the paint roller too quickly in her excitement to finish the job. The sun is already beginning to set, casting deep shadows and a warm orange glow over the room, but Jinx is so close to the finish line that she refuses to quit now.

She’s so caught up in the job, that the sound of a lock turning has her freezing on the spot and staring at the unmoving paint roller on the wall, before she forces herself to keep rolling, not looking in the direction of the front door.

Up and down. Up and down. She focuses on the motions of her paint roller; on the hyper-pop music blaring from her phone; on anything but the sound of Ekko's nearing footsteps.

“You started painting?”

She still can't help but take a sharp breath when she realizes how close his voice sounds, looking over her shoulder to see him standing behind her.

He looks as groggy as she feels, with deep eyebags set under his eyes and frown lines marring his forehead as if they’re permanently etched on his face.

“You look like shit,” she blurts out.

He lets out an incredulous laugh. It gets rid of those frown lines on his forehead like a tidal wave washing away footsteps in the sand. “You always know just what to say.”

Jinx lets out a weak chuckle. It really does suck how even at a time like this, talking to Ekko is as easy as breathing.

“So,” he continues, while Jinx sets aside the paint roller and turns off the music playing from her phone, “black, huh?”

She looks back at the wall she just finished painting. “Yeah, I thought…” she nervously picks at her cuticles, “I just thought it'd be cool to spray paint art on it after.”

“Great minds, huh?” Ekko awkwardly chuckles.

Confused, she turns to see what he means and realizes he's holding a bag full of spray paint in one hand, and a bucket of white paint in the other.

“Oh.” Now it’s her turn to feel awkward. “Yeah, I guess they do.”

She waits for him to respond, but Ekko looks as lost as she feels, his eyes nervously flickering between the candles decorating the apartment and her.

Seeing him like that would normally make her feel more anxious, but at this point, Jinx has already made peace with the fact they won’t be able to salvage this. So fine, guess she’ll be the one who takes the plunge.

“I called the energy provider too.” She sighs, pacing around the room. “They can hook up the power again in two days. So I figured candles are better than nothing for now.”

She stops, closing her eyes to focus on forcing her next words from her mouth. “And I went over to Vi's place. She, uh,” she's still picking at her cuticles and it's starting to hurt, but the pain is the only thing grounding her, “she said I can stay at her place. I already packed my things, so you don't have to worry about me overstaying my welcome and stuff.”

“Wait. What?!”

Her eyes widen at the sudden outburst. She whips her head in Ekko's direction, nearly stumbling backward when she sees how close he got to her.

But what really throws her off is the expression on his face. Ekko looks…devastated. But this is what he wanted, isn't it? And she was even gracious enough about the whole thing to give him an easy way out.

He reaches out a hand as if to touch her, but suddenly falters mid-air.

“Why–” His voice cracks, forcing him to clear his throat. “I thought you asked me to come here so we could talk. You know, and figure this thing out.”

She grinds her jaw in frustration. Did she mess up again? She spent the whole day trying to make things right, to get out of his hair with as little mess as possible. But he still looks upset with her, she still fucked this up somehow.

“Jinx,” Ekko nervously looks down at the floor before he continues, “do you…Do you wanna break up with me?”

Wait.

What?

She gapes at him. Before she can ask how in the hell he reached that conclusion, he continues, the words spilling from his mouth, as if her suggestion broke some invisible dam.

“You've been acting off the whole week. And every time I tried to talk about it, you'd just shut me down. And I thought, I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking. Maybe I should just let it go, but I couldn’t. ‘Cause the only other conclusion I could reach is that maybe you didn’t wanna live with me. That I’m moving too fast and let it ruin this thing we got going.”

Her entire world tilts off its axis at his confession. Flustered, Jinx can only say, “But aren’t you mad at me? You hate me.”

“What? No! Never.” He aggressively scratches the back of his head. “I did lose my cool. And I’m so fucking sorry about that…but, Jinx, me getting mad at you will never mean that I hate you. If anything, I was scared you hated me now.”

Oh. She’s so stupid. This entire time, she was so caught up in her head, so damn worried that Ekko’s behavior meant that he regretted this decision, that it never once occurred to her that he might feel that way too.

She quietly gasps when she feels his hand touch hers, his tentative hold on it preventing her from picking at her cuticles anymore.

“Jinx…” he quietly starts again, “I think it’s kinda inevitable that we’re gonna get mad at each other sometimes. Normal, even. But that doesn’t mean I'll stop loving you.

“We should have the comfort of knowing that despite pissing each other off sometimes, the love will stay. And if I do or say something that makes you feel like it won’t��then please just tell me.”

His words make her choke up, but she does her best to swallow it down as she finally gathers the nerve to ask the question that has been haunting her this entire time, “But aren't you tired of me?”

Ekko opens his mouth to respond, but Jinx continues before he can get any rebuttal in.

“And do you still love me?” Her voice is so small, it makes the question even more embarrassing than it already is.

Because she knows she’s being annoying and a burden, but she can’t stop the words from spilling out anymore, the dam breaking at the force of her insecurities.

“Sometimes, I just can’t tell,” she continues. “And then yesterday I was here all alone. And then I woke up this morning and thought what if tomorrow I’m alone too? What if I have to wake up without you every day now? What if I pissed you off one too many times, did too much stupid shit and–”

And she’s so overwhelmed by her own feelings, so emotionally exhausted, that she falls to the floor, too tired to hold up her own weight. She clutches onto Ekko’s hand like a lifeline, who grips hers back tightly before sitting down in front of her.

“Yes, I love you, Jinx.” He says it with such confidence, with so much conviction that, for a moment, it completely halts her train of thought. “I loved you yesterday and I’ll love you tomorrow.”

He reaches forward with his other hand, gingerly brushing his thumb across her cheekbone and it’s only then Jinx realizes that she’s crying again.

“And I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it, okay?” he assures, and the only thing Jinx can do is fervently nod, clumsily crawling into his space and burying her head in the crook of his shoulder as she quietly sobs.

“In fact,” he holds securely despite her tremors, his touch grounding, “I’ll tell you so often you’ll probably get annoyed. Let’s start with five times by breakfast. Then maybe another ten by lunch.”

An ugly sound leaves her at his declaration, something between a laugh and a sob. Even at a moment like this, he’s so stupid. And she loves him so much for it. So much so that sometimes she fears her heart might actually beat so fast it’ll break out of her chest and kill her.

“Me too,” she cries. “Me too. I love you so much. And I’m sorry.” Those are the only words she manages to get out before she breaks down in his arms.

When she’s finally calmed down enough to steady her breathing, and her sobs have waned into quiet sniffles, she looks up at him and says, “You know this will never get easier, right? That I'm always gonna be like this.”

“I know.” He brushes the remaining tears off her face, his own eyes shining with unshed tears as well. “I don't want easier. And I’m not going anywhere.” She opens her mouth to retort, but he beats her to the punch, adding on, “Yes, even when you piss me the fuck off.”

She snorts, resting her head on his shoulder again while he brushes her hair. She feels so much lighter after everything that’s been weighing her down these last few days. Jinx closes her eyes and breathes in his scent, allowing it to steady her after the emotional whiplash she’s endured.

“...Are you wearing my hoodie?” Ekko suddenly asks, breaking the comfortable silence they were sitting in.

“Well.” Jinx awkwardly clears her throat. “Yeah. And I’m keeping it too.”

At her declaration, he throws his head back and laughs, the vibrations of it traveling from his body through hers. It’s a sound so loud and bright that it leaves Jinx in awe. “You laughed…”

The mirth dancing in his eyes softens into something sweeter as he says, “Yeah, 'cause you make me happy.”

Her heart feels like it’s bursting at the seams. She grabs both his cheeks and kisses him, using the contact of their lips as a conduit to express everything she feels to him. Her love for him is simply too overwhelming to ever put into words.

When she finally breaks the kiss, she nods to the wall, wet paint still drying. “Can we finish it together? We…we should both paint on it, I think.” He nods, picking himself up off the floor and holding a hand out to help her up.

“Bet my shit will look cooler than yours,” he says, picking up a bottle of spray paint and tossing it at her.

She laughs incredulously, popping the lid off the can and shaking it. “In your dreams, mister!”

By the time they finish, neither of them can agree on who actually had the best graffiti (but Jinx knows it’s her). A day later, they find out that they accidentally broke their lease agreement with all the graffiti, so they’d have to paint over it anyway.

Jinx can’t really bring herself to worry about it though, not when they’re both so happy.

#timebomb #ekkojinx #ekko #jinx #arcane #league of legends #writing #fanfiction #modern au #hungry posts

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