possibly scenes between masquerade canon aka who left the two hotel grumps together who did that. don't do that. what if they start bonding and shit
Vaggie: “Okay… Angel’s off to work, and Charlie’s off to work on that… looks like it’s just us assholes here.”
Husk: “Do not lump me in with you motherfuckers.”
Vaggie: "You're literally worse than them."
Husk: "Bullshit." (swig) "And there's no them without including YOUR sorry ass too."
Vaggie: (glares) "Har. Har."
Sir Pentious: “Can WE, er, ah- sssswitch off the porn now..?”
Niffty: “No~” (kicking heels) “Let’s rewind to part where the bad boy actually EATS Angel’s ass.”
Vaggie: “Niffty- ugh, can you just, take it back to your own room?”
Niffty: “The hotel air vents don’t have a TV!”
Vaggie: “You live in the- okay. Pentious. I won’t kill you for watching me and Charlie sleep IF you rig Niffty up with her own TV somewhere that’s not the lobby.”
Sir Pentious: “Do I HAVE to ssspend time with the pessst-”
Vaggie: (punches fist into palm) "Now."
Sir Pentious: “-AH yes!! PORN ISSS A RIGHT NONE SHOULD BE DENIED!” (scoops up nifty) “Come sssmall pessst, let uss inssstall a sssscrene for your PRIVATE viewing pleasssure!”
Niffty: (giggling) “Do you even know what privacy means-?”
Sir Pentious: “AAAHAHA OF COURSE I DO!!!” (hurriedly slithers away)
Husk: “… and these are the fuckers you and your little miss princess are trying to rehabilitate.”
Vaggie: “That’s the plan yeah.”
Husk: “Ha! Good fucking luck.”
Vaggie: (sigh) “Husk?”
Husk: “What?”
Vaggie: “You’re fired.”
Husk: (spits drink) “FffUCK-” (cough) “-you I’m WHAT!?”
Vaggie: “Can’t keep to the code of not talking about shit you know you weren’t supposed to hear? Fine. No more bartender therapy for you."
Husk: "You can't fucking do that."
Vaggie: "Hotel fucking manager, asshole. Watch me. From now on you serve drinks ONLY to go, NO more people sitting at your bar for you make yourself feel better listening to. Not until you treat them like people instead of a damn telenovela."
Husk: “You think I LIKE listening to you all bitching?”
Vaggie: “No. I’m saying I’m not the only self-hating bastard here who gets off on judging others.”
Husk: “Fuck you.”
Vaggie: "Wow what a comeback. Look Husk, if you’re gonna break our trust just to score points in a dumb argument then you can go get your gossip somewhere else.”
Husk: “It’s the only way I’m getting paid in this crappy place!”
Vaggie: “And who’s fault is that? Did I sell your soul to a creepy smug disc jockey?”
Husk: “You’re sure using it either way.”
Vaggie: “Can’t be judgmental without being a fucking hypocrite too, right? Might as well own it, since now everyone knows that’s my thing.”
Husk: “I was trying to help you motherfucking losers!”
Vaggie: “Like hell. Telling others how much they suck feels good doesn't it? Feels like you've got it all figured out. No reason to get your own shit together when you can point at people who're an even bigger mess than you. No, you've already learned your lesson, you fucked up but won't be making any more mistakes. At least you're not in denial over it. At least you're coping with it the right way, aren't you."
Husk: "Well you'd sure fucking know since you're doing it right now."
Vaggie: "Takes one to know one."
Husk: "Tell yourself that if it helps."
Vaggie: "Oh you wanna talk about helping? Charlie’s trying to help every one of you assholes here. She's the one opening up and risking fucking up and getting hurt trying to reach you! Not that it matters to any of you.”
Husk: “…”
Sir Pentious: (muffled) “It matterssss to me!!!”
Vaggie: (groans) “WHAT DOES PRIVACY MEAN, PENTIOUS!?”
Sir Pentious: “….not, ah, lisssstening in from the hotel air ventilashhhtion ssssystem…?”
Niffty: “Carrrrreful. Don’t crawl through my disembowel rat corpse collection~”
Sir Pentious: (shrieking)
-later that night-
Vaggie: “Hey."
Husk: "Hey your fucking self."
Vaggie: "Angel Dust said you had a drink with him.”
Husk: “Yeah? What if he did?” (ears flattening) “He didn’t even get fucking tipsy and I’m not telling anyone what that loser would’ve said to me while drunk off his ass anyway. I don’t hate you motherfuckers that much.”
Vaggie: (smiles) “Yeah. I know.”
Husk: “…. your miss princess asleep?”
Vaggie: “Technically she’s in bed. Angel Dust came over for a sleepover girls night and I kicked Pentious out of a shadowy corner to join them. You seen Niffty?”
Husk: “No. Sounds like she’s still enjoying that shitty film though.”
Vaggie: “Sounds like? What-”
Husk: “Shh. Listen.”
Vaggie: “…… are the air vents..”
Husk: “Moaning.”
Vaggie: “That’s Angel Dust’s moaning. That’s his work moan- Fuck, I never wanted to know what that sounded like- but does that means the hotel ventilation system is-?”
Husk: “Piping hot garbage throughout the hotel like hell’s shittiest surround sound.”
Vaggie: “Great.”
Husk: “Hope your princess is ready for the audiobook.”
Vaggie: “Ugggghhhh.”
Husk: “Drink?”
Vaggie: “Just break the bottle over my head....”
Husk: “Fuck no.” (grins) “I’m not wasting a whole bottle on you.”
Vaggie: “Pour it out for yourself then. Tonight you’ve earned it.”
Husk: “Earned what, a fucking hangover?”
Vaggie: (rolls eye) “Just drink up, old man. I’ll drag you back to your room and toss you in when you’re done getting drunk off your own ass.”
Husk: “Huh!”
Vaggie: “I also won’t tell your princess he left you smiling like a dumbass for the rest of the night either.”
Husk: (opens bottle) “You better fucking not...” (swigs) (still smiling)
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