#rarepair hell is hell for a reason

[tom-failure]

...

[haematoclan]

Jessica Jaclyn & Big Mama would make a perfect pair and no, I will not elaborate!

(ok, maybe I'll elaborate a little)

Jessica is: money and goal oriented, ambitious, manipulative, a showwoman, charismatic, a fast thinker, she won't hesitate to put kids in harms way for entertainment and profit, has Everything Goes in the ring rule, and finally:

bends the rules in her favor at the last second:

In conclusion: Big Mama would be down for Jessica so bad, you can't convince me otherwise!

[writer168]

I've read your "the lemonade stand" and i'm really curious how the events that happened in "Hoshigaki" and "Eight" trasfer to it, so if you had perhaps an outline of it and don't mind sharing, please share, i'm wracking my brain for how it could work.

Have a wonderful whatever-time-is-it-where-you-are!

hi!

so the barebones ideas i have for team eight's lore in the lemonade stand goes something like this:

the akatsuki have based themselves in north america, but kisame leaves sakura in tokyo with an old relative on his wife's side and doesn't keep in contact, hoping for the best and living with the guilt the second he drops her off. unbeknownst to him, that relative passes a few weeks later and sakura is promptly shuttled into an orphanage

the years sakura spends there helps her grow into the calm, smart, calculating version we all know and love in the original hoshigaki-verse. naruto is a part of the same orphanage but they don't really interact. she sees him cause trouble, get chastised by the works, watches the cycle spin over and over. but it's none of her business and he's never really talked to her, so she keeps her head down and spends her free time finishing homework that's too easy for her and sticking her nose in library books until curfew hits

she meets kiba sometime in the middle of elementary school and her free time splits to spend some time at the circuit of shelters and veterinary clinics the inuzuka family owns

by junior high, sakura and kiba are thick as thieves. the first day of their first year, they meet shino and immediately get him in trouble with them. they spend that day's detention under kurenai yuuhi, their homeroom teacher. from that day on, shino's sucked into their group and they gain a reputation for themselves by racking up more absences than attendances and most teachers couldn't care less about what they do with their time. they still turn in their assignments, still keep up their grades, and if they keep their 'delinquent tendencies' out of their sight, it's not their problem

kurenai disagrees. they're good kids, she knows it, and she'll try to help steer them on the right path no matter how many detentions she has to host for them. now if only they could take it seriously and stop bringing her cheap snacks to bribe her into letting them leave early

it's also in junior high that naruto starts hanging around sakura and her friends. they both had growing up in the orphanage in common, and both had that troublemaking gene, and it was both of them that went out of the orphanage together to make a deal with a landlord who didn't mind renting out some rooms to a couple punk kids who were tired of the group home. the kids were scrappy and clever and knew their way around the streets so he offered them this: a unit for each of them if they ran odd jobs for him whenever he needed them to. when they made deliveries, they'd never look into a package. when he sent them to check up on people, they wouldn't get caught - if they did, he wasn't doing anything to get them out of it

anything beat going back to the orphanage. so they agreed

back at school the other teachers keep telling kurenai it isn't worth the effort, especially when police officer tenzo keeps hauling them back to the school if he can catch them out during school hours. but what they don't care to notice is how police sergeant tenzo is half trying to keep himself from laughing along with these kids and half trying not to worry himself gray when he find that they've thrown themselves into another fight with another group at another school. it doesn't matter if they keep winning, and it's certainly not funny when kiba's cheek is so swollen that it makes him talk weird for a week

but what tenzo's really worried about isn't the fights or the truancy or how scary smart these kids can really be. it's that because they're scary smart that they'll get in trouble with the worst sort of people one day, and him and kurenai won't be enough to save them

his fears are realized in the kids' second year of junior high when one day, they disappear

kurenai is distraught. her and tenzo are the only ones outside of the inuzuka and aburame families that actually care that the kids are gone, and along with it comes some gutting realizations. her the kids never stirred up any real trouble, per se, but they never made many friends at school or got in any other teacher's good graces or care enough to actually address the reputations they've built up for themselves

for a year and a half, she mourns them. she watches inuzuka tsume demand the police to find her son and why the hell aren't you doing anything he's out there and he's thirteen and if you don't do something he'll be dead. she watches aburame shibi, the quiet and polite managing partner of the renowned Aburame Law Offices, blame his son's friends for turning him into another bad kid when he has such a bright future ahead of him. she watches as tenzo tries his best to keep their case open because he's so sure they're still out there despite it growing cold around the edges; he'll never give up on them, he says, even when everyone up to the superintendent general of the tokyo metropolitan police department - second in rank only to the chief of japan's national police agency - thinks he's chasing shadows. she watches as naruto never loses hope of sakura and kiba and shino coming home and... and that one has a particular sting to it. especially when it's only recently that an explosive altercation between him and his best rival landed naruto a couple month's stay in the hospital and had sasuke whisked off somewhere out of japan without leaving so much as a phone number behind

kurenai never loses hope, and it's that same hope that kills her a little bit every day

everything changes when naruto starts his first year of senior high school. because three kids stroll onto the same school grounds like they hadn't ever gone missing in the first place. sakura, taller and stronger and indifferent and with a shock of pink hair. kiba, louder and angrier and sharper and a hearing aid in one ear. shino, more brazen and colder and more blunt and never taking off the dark sunglasses he's taken to wearing on his face

they're back, and it's like the warmth has found its way back into kurenai's blood

(it's later when the kids and kurenai and tenzo flee to north america for a charge of a murder they didn't commit that the latter two find out what really happened. one day when the kids were skipping school like usual, they see police officers dumping the body of a missing child. back then they hadn't been quick enough or strong enough or wise enough to react accordingly and get sucked into a dark conspiracy that they never wanted to be a part of in the first place. superintendent general shimura danzo is kidnapping kids, he had once sold some of them to disgraced scientist orochimaru to supplement illegal experimentation, and prime minister sarutobi hiruzen was covering it all up.)

((then, superintendent shimura finds out there are witnesses. he figures them out, packs up three teenagers into a shipping crate and loads them up on a ship, and sends them off to their deaths. when their bodies are inevitably found, it won't be hard to spin it: "three juvenile deliquents up to no good. something like this was bound to happen. what a shame, what a tragedy. may their souls end up in a better place than their bodies did."))

the conspiracies end up coming to light by the time the kids are sixteen, exposing a rotten and corrupt system that the new prime minister, senju tsunade, is quickly and aggressively working to root (ha) out. but even as names clear and charges drop and japan is ready to welcome three misjudged teenagers back with open arms, they decide to stay in north america.

kiba's intrigued with the goings-on in technology department at RAIN Securities and would probably go to college for something in the field. he's a whizz with tech anyway, and he knows they're probably going to pay for his degree in exchange for his employment

shino knows he's going to put himself on track for medical school. kiba and sakura are always getting hurt and he wants nothing more than to devote himself to the little family they've made for themselves. keeping them safe and healthy will always be in his top priorities, and he's already had exposure helping the medical team at catatumbo sanctuary in south africa. sure it was all veterinary medicine, but at least he knows he's interested in that sort of science

and sakura, well, isn't sure what to do with herself. she's content with floating through high school and taking general courses in college until she finds something worth doing. maybe she'll find something in physics; the subject makes kiba gag, and that's as good a reason as any to study it

it's not like the north american high schools are much different than the ones in japan when it comes down to what matters, anyway. she doesn't make any other friends in the school, she doesn't endear herself to the staff, she submits her assignments and takes her tests and thinks that they school should be lucky they don't have to deal with her and the boys' truancy habits this time around. the days go by and she spends her time after school in a rotation of places: her dad's gym, konan's company, sasori's tattoo shop, kakuzu's car customs shop. it's more of a variety than japan, but it's still routine. she doesn't expect any change

then one fateful day, she gets a project partner in the form of the the football team's pretty boy. and the timeline of the lemonade stand begins :)

this... really got away from me lmao. the outline turned out to be both way more information than i thought i'd get down and not enough detail to fully explain how the world is molded by the events of the hoshigaki-verse, but i hope it's a good structure to give you some idea of how things went down! i could definitely make a prequel fic to elaborate on the world, but we all know i'm already struggling to update my current fics lmaooooo

but if you have any specific questions, i'd be happy to answer them! thank you for your wonderful ask! <3

[xerorao]

Dabbling in reverse 1999 these past few days, story and game is good

Love the doom Yuri (Schneider and Vertin), also love Starlight (I'm calling Matilda and Sonnetto's ship name that)

But my brain decided to zone in a crackship over my two units/favorite character designs (Click and Necrologist)

Might draw something for them, love me a good ole; Character who talks to the dead x Character who is dead + they're from the same era (1940's)

[mysteroads]

🔥It's Nice Here in Rare-Pair Hell!🔥

I feel weirdly accomplished!😎 It's as if I have evolved to a higher level of fanfic authordom. 👑 Did a search and my fic was the only one on the site with this ⬇ particular pairing! (Mr. Compress/Lady Nagant)

Does this mean I get to pick the ship name? 😉

On that note, just for kicks and giggles, if you have a good ship name, put it in the comments! 🚢

(I already talked a little in a previous post why I decided on these two as a ship, but if you want to know more, look past the break for my explanation with gifs!)

Alright, so, cliff notes on my series "It Doesn't End Here.": Tomura Shigaraki died, which he decided was no excuse not to hang out and party with his friends. All the rest of the League except Mr. Compress (because he was safe in prison), ended up getting invited to Tomura's after-death party.

Which, you know, sucked for Atsuhiro Sako, aka, Mr. Compress.

But I wasn't about to let the poor guy live a crappy life in prison. So, as per the MHA tradition, he gets involved in villain reform! Also, as the only beneficiary of Tomura Shigaraki's will, who in turn inherited All For One's fortune (completely legally, with a team of lawyers to boot), he decides to put the money to good use and creates the largest non-profit in Japan.

I REALLY wanted him to embrace all aspects of his new life, so I wanted him to find a significant other and a kid. I really don't like to write OCs to pair with major characters, so I had to find a canon character. Also, important: Compress mentioned once that someone in each generation of his family had a quirk that was good for theft! So I had to include that in my calculations. Then I had a thought:

That would be VERY useful for stealing things, wouldn't it?

And WHO ELSE in MHA has magical hair? That also happens to be purple and pink? And who would be considered a villain, and also consider herself a villain for all the lives she took? Gee... I wonder...

Now THAT'S a woman. I figured they'd also get along, since they both hate corrupt governments and spent time in villain prison, they'd have a starting point to become friends, and things would progress from there.

If you read all this, A thousand blessings be upon you, starting with my favorites: May your pillow always be cool, May inspiration come upon you often, and May your pets live long, healthy lives.

Drink water and have fun ya'll!

[coffee-at-annies]

Penguins twitter will not tell me who was flirting with Jarry

Hey canesblr can I get a player ID? Staring at the roster, I’m like 90% sure it’s Martinook but I wanna know™️. Idk how they know each other but those smiles are too good.

Edit: confirmed it’s Martinook but I wanna know if there’s lore™️

[djungleskogs]

.

[emmagail-brainrot]

Summer camp hiking dates

[pathetic-gamer]

BREAKING: local fan fiction reader caught throwing themself into a new ship and being disappointed to find that of the 30 fics on ao3, not a single one is tagged as angst. Sources state they were heartened to find three tagged with graphic depictions of violence, but are still dissatisfied with such a limited selection.

At press time, he could be seen opening Microsoft Word while muttering "I have to do all the work around this damn house."

[autisticjonathanjoestar]

a brupro & meloabba girl in a bruabba world...

[blockofhoney]

i need to be whacked on the head repeatedly by a paper towel tube

[cxtangerina]

k2 is such a funny ship to me, like it's just plausible enough to be kinda sorta realistic if you squint and pray and look at it sideways, not quite a crackship but not able to get off the ground as more than a particularly popular rarepair either. they had, like, one big episode together back in season 3, a handful of major moments over the years that people hold onto with an iron grip, and basically nothing else outside of a plethora of fantastic fancontent and dreams.

i think i like it for the exact opposite reasons that i like kyman, actually, they sorta stand as complementary ships in my mind. where k2 barely has any actual basis in canon & comes heavily from fanworks and speculation about how well the characters would match each other, kyman is practically canonical, at least when it comes to cartman's feelings, and is at least regularly joked about and referenced in-show. personally, i also tend to see k2 as a ship that is kinda miraculously requited, whereas kyman is usually stuck in unrequited hell, which...

...well, this gets into more specific character analysis, but a big part of this is that i tend to see cartman as having very fucked up views of both romance & sexuality that have especially interesting implications when you consider him to have a crush on kyle, specifically.

on the one hand, i think his cupid self is evidence enough that he has a very fairytale, idealized view of romance, based more out of the hollywood movie image of what love is supposed to be rather than anything in reality. south park adults being utter fucking idiots 99% of the time means that most, if not all, of the kids don't have a lot of good role models to base their actions off of. i'm not gonna talk out of my ass about childhood development more than i understand it, but i don't think it's too controversial (?) of a take to claim that kids understand & learn about the world through watching it just as much as interacting with it, particularly when it comes to their own parents.

cartman is a piece of shit, and while a lot of that comes from him and his own bigotry, he's still ultimately a kid in show and you can trace where some of his worst traits originate from in the people around him, even if he makes the personal decision to push it as much as humanly possible. i think the trend in recent seasons for many adults to try and at least appear more pc only makes this more obvious, actually (coughcoughrandy), though talking about that is maybe biting off a little more south park politics than i'm willing to chew for this particular post.

point is, cartman as a character in particular does not have a lot, if anything, to base his idea of what a healthy, happy romantic relationship looks like, which isn't only because liane is single though that may be a major contributing factor. love isn't work to cartman, it isn't about the maintenance of a relationship or communication or all the more realistic and slightly less pleasant parts of loving someone that hollywood doesn't find dramatic or interesting enough to show. rather it's a fantasy, something that happens to people that they have no real control over. i wouldn't be surprised if he believes in soulmates or love at first sight, even if the likelihood of him admitting that out loud isn't especially high.

on the other hand, i think his view of sexuality is greatly influenced by not just liane's sex work, but the way she is slut-shamed and treated like garbage by the rest of the town for it. i tend to view cartman as having a very transactional, cynical view of sex and sexuality, where sex is only used for personal gain (whether that be money or power, likely at the expense of someone else/the submissive party), and sexuality is an inherent character flaw, a weakness that must be overcome unless you are able to twist it and use it for your own (material?) benefit- see the streaming wars & cartman wanting his mom to seduce a rich man for money as a recent example of this.

it's a running gag in TFBW that cartman uses douchebag catching their dad fucking their mom as a tragic backstory, and doesn't seem to understand how reproduction actually works even when kyle basically says it straight to his fucking face. even as a joke, there's still a lot of underlying truth behind why he would believe this. cartman is aware of his mom's sex work, even if he may not want to fully admit/believe it, largely because of situations where he's specifically getting shit for it. he knows he has a father, and that he is (in)directly responsible for said father's horrible death & consumption, but he only really cares about that insofar as it means he's half ginger. sex has only ever been presented through its most vicious power dynamics to him- why would he see it as a good thing, as something that could ever be loving, especially when contrasted against such an idealized, purified view of romance?

(you could also extrapolate from this how cartman associates sexuality & romance with femininity & his brand of sexism to get some particularly delectable transfem cartman ideas, but i digress.)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that cartman having a crush on kyle (or anyone, really, but kyle is obviously the most emotionally volatile example) instantly pits those two conflicting views against one another, like he wants something that he doesn't even think could ever exist: a happy, healthy romantic relationship, where sex is just a normal thing that they can choose to do or not. this is where a lot of kyman angst comes from for me, with cartman either trying to stuff that round desire back into the square hole of how he views the world, or having his ideals fall ever further apart when the feelings are unrequited. and, on top of that, none of this being actually said out loud because communication is impossible.

this is why i always see kyman as making each other worse, especially if they actually manage to make it into a romantic relationship. i simply Do Not see kyle being a patient enough person to help cartman work through the intricacies of all of his expectations and idealized fantasies and internalized fears surrounding such mutually screwed views of romance & sexuality- on the rare occasions that kyle does show some interest in romantic relationships it's usually pretty centered around himself, and to be frank i only see his interest in romance going down as he gets older.

i've heard some people talk about kyle before like he's the "moral compass" of south park or whatever and while that may be true by the end of the episode, one of the things i like most about him is the fact that he struggles so much to get to the best conclusions. this is kind of getting back into the k2 side of this analysis, but where kenny manages a much more effortless selflessness, even pushing it to the point of being both a strength and a flaw when kenny stops caring about himself for the sake of others, kyle is a lot more self-centered than he cares to admit and it influences a lot of his attempts at being a good person.

this is both my favorite aspect of kyle, that he really has to put in the work to be the good person that he wants to be, and also the primary bad trait that i think cartman brings out of kyle. by being such a notoriously horrible shithead, he gives kyle the perfect target to unleash his annoyance on, getting him so caught up in arguing and proving himself to be the better person that kyle forgets to actually listen to the people that he's supposed to be standing up for. cartman is a fantastic troll and, at least in show, kyle definitely has not learned to stop feeding him argument fodder yet.

sidenote: about kyman entering a romantic relationship... wasn't sure where to add this, but it's for this exact reason that i also see kyman (or this version of kyman where cartman gets worse with age, rather than better) only actually happening in the universes where kyle has lost all other meaningful connections, to the point that feeding a troll to get off on an argument is the best possible option, even if he's old enough to know better. especially if he's old enough to know better.

again, k2 is the opposite of this for me in that i see kyle & kenny as having a lot of potential to bring out the best in each other.

if kyle's worst trait is that he gets too caught up in his own feelings & desires to truly be the good, selfless, thoughtful person that he wants to be to actually do genuine good for the sake of others, kenny's problem is that he skews too far in the opposite direction. i kinda already said this, but to state it outright: kenny's biggest strength and his biggest flaw are the exact same, that he is selfless to a fault, to the point of consistently putting other people's safety and happiness above his own when he thinks it would be of help the majority/the people he loves. this was the key kenny trait that was established by the end of BL&U, and it has only gotten more prominent in the years since with his mysterion persona.

it is in this way that kenny both stands as someone that kyle can look up to & admire for how effortlessly he dedicates himself to the people he cares about the most, but also, simultaneously, as someone that kyle can take care of himself and offer the same help back to. and i don't even think kenny needs to say very much out loud to push kyle towards a lot of these conclusions, he kinda just has to exist and be noticed and kyle has the intelligence to figure it out himself, to recognize the shit that kenny puts himself through and his (usually) quite noble reasons for doing so, and want to offer him the same love and care and dedication that kenny never allows himself to have.

really, the difficult part of this is being noticed at all in the first place. again, i said earlier that k2 is kinda "miraculously requited," in my mind, specifically because the aspect that's missing in the show and almost always must be provided by fan content for k2 is that spark/push forward that gets them close enough to start talking and for kyle to notice kenny in the first place. it's just lucky that's one of my favorite things to figure out and write for those two, hehehe.

[adyophene]

You making a tiny bit of CatVideo/Vox x Husk content has made me kind of enjoy it for some reason- and now I'm just thinking about an AU where Alastor didn't gamble with Husk and Husk was instead approached by The Vees to join their team. His business side of the Vees would be Online Gambling, I think- and I think he'd mainly work with Velvette and occasionally Vox. He hardly interacts with Valentino and I feel he may go out of his way to avoid him, too-

While Husk is part of the Vees he still stays in his casinos most days, but I think he'd probably spend weekends staying there. He'd probably never leave anything valuable/of interest in his room there, though. He knows his business companions far too well to do that.

idk, just an idea that started because of the rarepair you introduced me to lol

Oh this is so awesome! I do love that, and man, I would so be into a comic or fanfic like that!

I have a super similar AU for Vox/Husk, actually! At least similar in the whole online gambling as the major plotpoint thing!

I don't know if I have any doodles from it anywhere, but it was just a scenario where Vox ropes Husk (either present or overlord Husk) into becoming the 'Face' of a line of online casinos. Husk not joining the Vee's exactly or anything, but just showing up in all these adverts for Jackpot Casino Online; Presented by VoxTek. Which I imagine to be these absolutely stupid commercials and pop-ups that would just be everywhere in hell.

(Mainly I like to imagine this AU just for all the silly outfits and scenarios it means I could draw Husk or both Vox and Husk together in! )

Ah. I tried to find where I wrote down my ideas for this au, as I tend to throw a bunch of ideas down as really quick sketches, but all it was was this :( (literally just the orange text on the upper right hand, I think I erased the doodle that went with it)

[chairofchaos]

A Comedy of Eris

Pairing: Eris x Azriel; also original female character/original female character Summary: Eris Vanserra is fed up with getting killed. It's about time somebody told these fanfiction authors what's up, right? A short skit, in which Eris encounters a murderer. A fictional murderer, that is. One that's killed him, and his mate, over and over and over and over... (ad infinitum). For Day 6 of @erisweekofficial : AU! Rating: Teen Word Count: 2.8k Warnings: some discussion of violence, a little dark humor, mostly comedy

Read it on Ao3 HERE! Sample Below <3

A major shoutout must be made to @mistandmemories, whose Rhysand Witherspoon post is living rent free in my mind. Thank you. To everyone who voted on character names: thank you for saving me decisions.

(Please forgive me- the reason it's only on Ao3 is that formatting a script on tumblr just does not work, so formatting in the sample below does not match Ao3.)

KATHERINE: Okay, so what stories are you seeing?

ERIS: (seething) Does it matter? You keep killing me.

KATHERINE’s jaw drops, and she slams it shut. She appears to hold in a laugh, glancing to the side.

KATHERINE: Yeah. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you were seeing them.

ERIS: Does it matter?

KATHERINE: Uh. I guess to you it wouldn’t, no.

ERIS: There is also the amount of times you’ve killed my ‘mate’. (sneers) And do you even know who my mate is? You seem to relish in pairing me with the most abysmal members of my enemies’ courts. Azris? As if I would ever be mated to the Shadowsinger.

KATHERINE: (coughs amusedly) About that. It’s called a rarepair, okay? I don’t actually think it’s going to happen. But have you considered it? Because I think it might actually help you two to get locked in a room with one be-

ERIS begins to pace in front of the stairs which lead up to where KATHERINE sits on the porch. 

ERIS: (growls) Finish that sentence and I will impale you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @chunkypossum (welcome to the Azris taglist- this is one hell of an introduction, so let me know if you want me to be more specific!) @dusk-muse @ninthcircleofprythian @unanswered-stars @c-starstuff-man0 @lilah-asteria

Give me a shout if you want on/off the taglist(s)!

[theheirofthesharingan]

Hello, may we know what are your thoughts about ita/saku

I dislike ItaS*ku. A lot. Detailed answer below the cut.

I don't understand this ship and it's the only Itachi ship that makes no sense and that I cannot tolerate. Everyone else he's shipped with acknowledged him in some way, understood him to some extent, and thematically they were compatible. Even if I see Itachi and Sasuke's relationship as perfectly, strictly platonic, I understand why people see the potential for more in them and why they want to explore this in their fics or art. It's the same with ShiIta and KisaIta and the rarepairs like KakaIta and ItaDei. But ItaS*ku is a pairing that makes zero sense to me.

Itachi is perceptive, thoughtful, puts his own needs aside, takes up the responsibility when he does wrong and tries to change his approach, doesn't need and ask for other people's help, and has self-respect. Sakura is the complete opposite but in a bad way. She isn't perspective, is selfish, her own needs come first - the world can go to hell, and has no self-respect. They aren't a match in any way. Their "polar opposite" isn't endearing under any circumstances.

She has a "girlboss" like personality or that's how she's presented. She's badass, a quick learner, strong, powerful etc., but she's not compatible with Itachi just for those reasons. To make them work as a ship, Sakura's characterization would have to change enormously. She'd have to be completely ooc for that.

In canon too, she saw Sasuke change his mind about Itachi, and while Naruto and Kakashi at least acknowledged it, Sakura never bothered to know about the truth. He, too, never acknowledged her presence except for a scene in one of the movies. In canon, never. She was nonexistent to him and he was just Sasuke's enemy to her. Why would I really ship them together.

With Itachi's other ships there's love, understanding, and compassion, and/or at least some thematic relevance which Ita/Saku entirely lacks. It's not the case of 'she's too good for Itachi' as many of her fans want to claim in regards to both Itachi and Sasuke. She's not a bad character and I like her, but ItaS*ku doesn't work as a ship.

I'll be tagging this post properly, so if anyone comes here with flaming response they'll be blocked. In case you read it this far, feel free to ignore if you ship these two characters or are a Sakura fan.

[olderthannetfic]

i had one hell of a fic writing burnout and i need to know if there's writers amongst your followers who feel the same.

after some introspection and talking to friendd, i found out that the reason i was deeply unhappy when it came to writing was because all my writing that i finished and published had been done for fic exchanges in the last months. i fulfilled prompts for someone as a gift, wrote for ships i do like, but it was always written to please someone else, not me - which makes me feel like i am doing exchanges wrong at the detriment of the recipient and myself. at the same time, i like exchanges bc i need an imposed deadline to finish stuff.

all the iddy stuff i write for myself is pretty niche (always either rare fandoms, rarepairs and/or unpopular characters that never get a focus, and then some of it will be longfics with a very heavy character focus) and while itd be a lie to say i dont care about stats, kudos and reviews, i primarily want something that i can read over and over again and never fall out of love with it because it just feels like the pinnacle of my writing

ive now chosen to step away from exchanges (including yuletide, rip) until further notice to relax, read either published lit or other people's fic and focus on real life work. maybe I'll turn to prompts to get inspired, but still, there's an unpleasant aftertaste that makes me feel like a egotistical asshole knowing that i just cant write good stuff meant for another specific person to enjoy

--