#rarely did some in 2021 and 2022

[serpentineextraction]

! ! THIS IS A LOBOTOMY CORPORAION RP ACCOUNT ! !

I've been roleplaying since around 6 years ago, although I'm still quite bad at it.

TIMEZONE: EST (Although, there's some times I will be online at night)

(actual stuff based around like. rp account begins under keep reading, ig. i dont know how to do this, this is my first time ever doing this and i just went wild. im also very, VERY unsure about most things, so i might be fairy inactive, but ill try my best to actually be active and do things, if i have anyone actually interact with me!!)

"Hi, hello! I'm Oliver, Member of the Extraction Team, and Assigned Agent of The Queen of Hatred!"

+ He/Him

+ Bi

+ NO NSFW.

+ Shipping is.. Maybe. I dunno

-------

E.G.O

In the Name of Love and Hate (SUIT, Corroded), Mimicry (GIFT) (I FORGOT THE MIMICRY GIFT IN HIS ART FUCK OH NO PRETEND ITS THERE I BEG), Lamp (WEAPON), Fragments from Somewhere (GIFT), Amrita (GIFT)

--

Height: 167cm

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Ryan Burge at Graphs About Religion:

I’ve got two sons - one is thirteen and the other is ten. I remember when my wife and I were thinking about having children, we talked all the time about the best type of birthing plan (I distinctly remember becoming intimately aware of something called the cascade of intervention). Then it was breastfeeding versus bottle feeding and cloth diapers versus disposable diapers. It felt like it was consuming most of our conversations for a period of time. You just want to make sure that you are making the best decisions for your children so that they can hopefully grow up to be decent, productive human beings. Then we went through the preschool stage. How often should we send them? What school is best for their needs? That was certainly a rousing debate in our household. Then, public school vs private school - why wife is Catholic, after all. It seems like there’s no end to all the decisions parents have to face and every life stage gives way to another set of questions that don’t have any easy answers.

Now we are in the phase of cell phones, screen time, and socialization. The best way that I can describe my goals for my boys is that they don’t become the weirdos who have no understanding of pop culture but are also not glued to their screens every waking moment. Good luck finding that balance. There’s an empirical reason for my concern - the data about the social lives of high school students is incredibly bleak and honestly makes me very worried for the next generation. Let me show you what I mean by generating a handful of graphs from this great dataset called Monitoring the Future. They’ve been asking questions of 8th, 10th, and 12th graders since the mid-1970s. What an amazing way to track what teenagers are doing with their time over the last couple of decades. Let me start by focusing on a question that asks high school seniors how often they go on dates in a typical month. In 1995, the vast majority of seniors were going on dates several times a month. In this data, just about one third of them said that they were going on zero or one date per month. Between 1995 and 2010, the share who dated very little rose to just below 50%. Let’s call that an increase of 15 points in about 15 years. From 2010 through 2021, the share who barely went on dates rose to 72%. That’s an increase of 22 points in just 11 years. In other words, the rate doubled in recent years. But I know what you are going to say - COVID explains some of it. Yes, I agree with you - there was a noticeable decrease in dating frequency during 2021 and 2022. But in 2010, 48% of 12th graders were dating rarely. In 2019, it was 63%. That’s a fifteen point jump in just nine years. That cannot be explained by a global pandemic. Dating among high school seniors slowed significantly during the 2010s. Now, what’s interesting about that to me is that between 1995 and 2021, religion among high school seniors also fell off a cliff. A very workable theory is that religious organizations can have a suppressing effect on romantic relationships between teenagers. If that hypothesis was true then we should see dating rise as we see religion decline. But we see the exact opposite.

[...]

Another question in Monitoring the Future asks how often 12th graders go out for fun or recreation in a typical week. That’s about as generic as it gets. This data points in the same general direction as the prior analysis. In 1995, just 22% of high school seniors were hanging out with their friends no more than once a week. That figure did creep up just a little bit in the next 15 years, but not by much. In 2010, it was up to 26% - an increase of just four points in fifteen years. Certainly a worrying trajectory but definitely a very slow moving trendline. By 2012, that figure moved to 30%, and it was up to 35% by 2014 and only continued to climb from there. Even before the pandemic hit, it was just above 40%. In 23 years, the share of teens who barely hung out with their friend nearly doubled. In the data collected during 2020 and 2021, the figure was exactly the same - 46%. Yes, there was a noticeable decrease in socialization due to the pandemic, but it was only five percentage points. I just don’t know how you can look at this graph and not think that this has a lot to do with the rise of the smartphone. It took 18 years to go from 22% to 32%. Then it took five years to go from 32% to 41%. What else could explain this increase? Anyone who says that social media has connected us more is just not facing the facts. Young people are not using all their messaging apps to arrange opportunities to hang out in real life, they are just seemingly content to digitally communicate.

[...] The one big takeaway for me is that those who never attend religious services are also the least likely to do other types of socializing. That makes sense, logically. One type of socializing is related to another type of socializing. Going to church means you are often given the opportunity to hang out with other kids in the youth group on another day of the week. That happened a lot when I was a teenager. But I do want to highlight the fact that never attenders really became an outlier on this metric around 2014 or so. It seems like there was a clear “socializing gap” that began to emerge about ten years ago. As I’ve written a dozen times - dropping out begets dropping out. [...] I want to point two things out that I think are crucial about this graph. The first is that the average high school senior is just incredibly less social in 2022 compared to a 12th grader from the 1990s. It’s at least 3-4 fold increase in the share who are completely antisocial. Kids aren’t hanging out. But the other thing is that religious attendance does make a difference here. The 12th graders who are the least social are those who never attend religious services. The ones who are the most social are those who attend religious services on a monthly basis. Hanging out begets hanging out. I am going to be clear on this - church is not some type of panacea to get kids to be more social, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Ryan Burge wrote in Graphs About Religion the very disturbing trend of growing anti-social sentiments in high schools.

[grogumaximus]

On the eve of what might be the hardest fought championship of his career opening in Melbourne this weekend one thing is clear, Max Verstappen will not go gently into that night. The defending Formula One world champion, never one to shy away from speaking his mind, a compelling character trait reflected in his driving, is eyeballing the opposition and demanding they bring it on.

The 27-year-old took his fourth consecutive F1 title last season, the toughest since his first, the titanic battle with Lewis Hamilton that ended controversially in Abu Dhabi, in 2021. In both, when the Dutchman was pushed to the limit, to scrap tooth and nail, he was uncompromising, an elbows-out battler, obdurate, driven by belief in himself and the righteousness of the Verstappen cause.

Out of the car his generally easy-going persona belies this steel but it is there in the eyes and the conviction of his voice. As he leans back to consider his attitude to racing, to quote Rotten, J, he means it, man. 

“I do whatever is needed,” he says, with finality. “I try to always go for it when I think it’s right to do so.

“It’s just how I am. I will always go for it when I think it’s possible, whatever other people call it. You might agree with it or not but I just battle the way I think I need to battle.”

His acknowledgment that some diverge from his opinion is a concession to the debate sparked whenever Verstappen is feisty on the track. Depending on the viewpoint, he is a rare, exceptional, misunderstood genius and there are no shortage of fans who subscribe to this. Or ranging from reckless and even dangerous, as many concluded when he clashed with Hamilton at Monza taking them both out in 2021, to unsporting and contemptuous of rules, as his protagonist last season, McLaren’s Lando Norris, certainly believed when he was the victim of aggressive attacking and defending in Mexico last year.

But, well, whatever. Because Verstappen does not care. The criticism that such driving tarnishes his reputation is the gnawing of gnats on an elephant hide. 

“I don’t tell you or someone else how they should live their lives or what they should do in life,” he says. “Everyone should just focus on themselves. I think my behaviour is good. If someone else disagrees, that’s their problem. It’s not my problem, is it?”

As F1 prepares for a 24-race season the issue is more pertinent than ever. He will probably face an almighty scrap, not least from Norris and his McLaren teammate, Oscar Piastri, with Hamilton, Charles Leclerc, Ferrari and Mercedes all looking to join the party while Red Bull, on the early form in Melbourne, have still to solve the problems that wrecked their car for the second half of last year.

"I will always go for it when I think it’s possible ... It’s just how I am"

Yet Verstappen has beaten them all over the past four seasons and for two of those, 2022 and 2023, was imperious. His driving style was barely discussed because he was so quick, so consistent and so relentless.

Success has come at a price, though. At the F175 launch event last month in London, to celebrate the sport’s 75th anniversary and open the new season, Verstappen was roundly booed. He has declined to enter into a debate on why the crowd reacted as it did. However, he was forthright on considering why some do not appreciate his achievements.

 “They’re just jealous. Jealous of success,” he says.

“My dream was to get to F1 and be successful. I’ve achieved that and people that can’t appreciate that, they’re jealous. So that’s fine for them. But it’s not correct, because jealousy doesn’t bring you anywhere in life. I don’t do it for the people, I’m not there to please people that don’t appreciate me.”

This is Verstappen writ large and it must be considered a fundamental factor in why he is a four-time champion. You cannot look through F1’s history without finding greats who shared such iron-willed conviction, not least Ayrton Senna and Michael Schumacher.

“You create your own success,” Verstappen says. “And I’ve created my own success with very important people around me. Of course, part of that success is with the team. All these people that I’m working with and that are close to me, they value that success. That’s what it’s about. And I am very happy with what I have achieved in this sport. That is the most important thing.”

His honesty is striking and endearing. Verstappen, like Hamilton, is unafraid of putting himself out there just as he is, for all that such an unapologetic attitude could vex those who have taken against him.

Last year, when the team’s performance fell away mid‑season, he was unequivocal in his disapproval, describing his ride as an “undriveable monster” and demanding Red Bull remedy it forthwith. Very much part of a frank relationship he enjoys with the team. No one inside Red Bull has anything but positive words to say about Verstappen and a belief he is driven only by a desire for them all to succeed. During the travails of last season what was perceived as a clash between driver and team was part of this process.

“My relationship with them didn’t change because we are always very honest with each other,” he says. “If I make a mistake it’s also said. We have a very open relationship, we’re very straightforward. So when it’s good it’s good, when it’s bad it’s bad. That’s how we approach it. That works the best if you want to perform at the highest level.”

It is hard not to wonder if that level of honesty can be uncomfortable or even painful?

“Not for me,” is Verstappen’s unsurprisingly blunt response. “It’s how I grew up. When things need to be said, they are said. Some people take that a bit more easy, it’s a personality thing but overall it is well received. We are all part of the process.”

When Verstappen made his debut in F1 at 17 years old, he was its youngest ever driver. There followed a steep learning curve, not all of it pretty and not all of it edifying, but pretty much impossible to ignore. A period that forged him such that he insists he would change nothing of those formative years. 

“It’s important that you make certain mistakes in life and some bits that hurt,” he says.

“In terms of missing out on a result or making a mistake, it’s important to have that hunger to try to improve. If you know everything in advance, how to do it correctly, it’s very boring. You make some mistakes, it’s not nice at the time, but sometimes you need a hard lesson to become better.”

Compelling as a man and driver, however you regard him, he enlivens the sport and his rivals go into 2025 knowing too well, given all those hard lessons learned, Verstappen will only go down fighting. Who would have it any other way?

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Great BLs That Are REALLY hard to find (but worth tracking down)

You may want to go hunting anyway!

Seven Days

Seven Days: Monday-Thursday

Seven Days: Friday-Sunday

Japan 2015

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

Cherry Magic AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii

Japan 2020

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great.

Cherry Magic Thailand

Thai 2024

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. I personally like it slightly better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. Also all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be from Thailand.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Thai 2023

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

All about the ecstasy and the agony here.

Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Japan 2020

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning.

Given

Japan 2021

Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The singing is terrible, fast forward through that but with the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either.

Make a Wish

Thai 2023

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who tf cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and all the swagger. The cast is excellent even if the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. Definitely recommended.

2 Moons The Ambassador AKA 2 Moons 3

Thai 2022

A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs prior, with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and satisfying to watch than they started out. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples. All that said, I find this show oddly appealing and rewatchable and I have no excuses for that except, I enjoyed it probably more than it deserved. Nostalgia & d**k, it's what's for dinner.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai

Japan 2022

This is a beautiful well acted piece of cinema, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura pines after outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no). If you want something stylish, this is it.

Triage

Thai 2022

BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for the doctor! Unfortunately... stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikable, as required). If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show.

HONORABLE MENTION

Great Men Academy

Thai 2019

Bodyswap involving unicorns turning a teenage girl into a boy makes this questionable as a BL (because, ya know, gender). But the fact remains that James is killer in the lead, and I (who do not like bodyswap) loved this damn show. Look, there is actual plot, hotties at boarding school, "bully the one you love" trope, some weird VR shit, very bad CGI, and yes, the boys end up together... whether they boys or not, so to speak.

Some of these shows may appear on a smaller streaming service, like WeTV, or they may be on a legal platform in your territory. I hope it goes without saying you should check there first.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that went missing (or was added to a platform) after that date.

It's it last in a series the rest of which are:

[rannie-moon]

what song would heran cover on their YouTube?

now playing... youtube covers!

masterlist | wattpad

WHAT THE HELL! | avril lavigne

⤹ 2021

this was her first cover on their youtube channel. It was early november and she had some free time (which was super rare) and instead of relaxing she decided to hop in a booth. on live she asked engenes if they wanted her to cover any particular songs and they swore they didn't care as long as she dropped something.

so heran being heran, shuffled her playlist and stuck with the first song that played—what the hell. she didn't even waste a second, reached over for her guitar in the rack beside her desk and plugged it into the amp. after barely 10 minutes she messaged her manager: "can you book the booth please? don't ask questions."

less than an hour later she's in a recording studio, putting her headphones on—ready to record with beomgyu on the other side of the glass. he was just there to keep her company. nothing much. and two takes later, she was done. that's all it took.

beomgyu was tripping out on her, lecturing her about how most idols take time to record their covers and put a lot of effort into it with an actual production crew, and here she was recording a pop-rock song in less than an hour.

her excuse, "does it look like I have the time? just because I didn't spent 3 months recording a single song doesn't mean that it's low quality jeez. let me be good at my job in peace!"

she didn't waste any time to get that video shot either oh my days she was on a generational run. the staff were still asking if she wanted to make the set pretty and she was like, "just give me my guitar, an amp, a mic stand in a garage set. we'll just keep it authentic, yeah?"

who could blame her though? she had to study for finals, practice for their upcoming award shows, make time for her therapy sessions, and her own studio time, while also staying present in her members' lives. they didn't even know that she recorded the cover, and only found out when it was uploaded. "my bad, I forgot to tell you guys but it's good right?"

so the what the hell cover drops randomly on a thursday night, no teasers, no posts, no nothing—just the thumbnail of heran with her guitar slung over her shoulder, a smile on her face, and “HERAN — What The Hell (Avril Lavigne Cover)”.

beomgyu’s in the credits with a sarcastic “recording assistant / emotional support / unofficial hype man.”

engenes were so confused and shocked, they all flooded her weverse bro.

💬 : heran you never told us about the cover! wtf mahn I threw my phone across the room when I saw it! ⤷ rannieYUH my bad? bro I'm in the middle of math class it's never that deep I swear 🤷🏼‍♀️ 💬 : POP-PUNK PRINCESS HERAN?? I ASCENDED ⤷ rannieYUH congratulations 👁️👄👁️ 💬 : heran what was the reason that you decided to bless us all with an avril comeback? 🎤 ⤷ rannieYUH I shuffled my playlist and chose the first song that played 🎤

the middle of the night | elley duhé

⤹ 2022

okay, so for this one she did practice! It wasn't spontaneous (shocker).

heran had this quiet longing to explore her ballet roots again—not in a rigid, traditional way, but something emotional. raw. something that could blend her contemporary influences with the delicate control she developed from ballet.

she just didn’t know what song could carry all that weight. until one night, middle of the night played while she was organising her choreography notes. she only settled properly when she had a clear vision of the execution, only then did she pitch the idea.

she sat with the song for days. listened to it on repeat. at night. on the way back to the dorm. while doing her skincare. she listened to it so often until she felt her body lean into certain dance moves, silently marking and mapping out her flow. once she had the vision, she brought it up during a meeting and everyone was borderline shocked... (because she was actually consulting them first for ONCE).

she was clear: she wanted it to be elegant but emotionally intense. and there was one very important factor: she needed water. and a lot of it.

she met with her dance instructor whenever she was free, asked for help, some constructive criticism, and some ideas to bring her vision to life.

the video shoot

the set was stripped down to it's bones. no fancy backdrop, no led screen. just a vast, blacked-out soundstage. all the lighting focused on her.

on the floor was a huge, clear pool/container that was filled with water (but from the video you could only see he water on the floor, nothing else). she was standing in a shallow, reflective pool of water. barely ankle deep, just enough for each step to ripple.

scene 1

she stood motionless, head bowed, arms loose at her sides. the began—and the camera circled her. her first step created a ripple that moved across the surface like glass cracking in slow motion. the choreography started slow and delicate, her eyes closed as if she were physically feeling the song flowing through her veins. the water only adding to the beautiful imagery.

every turn, every kick, every glide of her feet created beautiful arch of water, until she dropped down and was on her knees, halfway drenched as she danced with a desperation that she conveyed so well.

by the second chorus, the lighting begun to pulse, faint strobes like thunder in the distance. the choreography picked up—sharper, angrier, like the song was crawling in her skin. her dress clung to her frame, soaked from the water as she continued dancing knee-deep.

the camera zoomed in during floorwork—her hands dragged through the water as she hit the beats like they owned her or something. her hair was loose, dripping in a way that shouldn't have been that pretty. she looked ethereal.

and just as the final chorus swelled—BOOM. the overhead sprinklers turned on.

rained poured down in sheets, instantly drenching her. she turned, reached, spun, her dress spinning with her. she hit her final beat on the downbeat, chest heaving, face toward the ceiling, eyes shut. the water shimmered down her like a crown.

when the video was posted, it hit over a million views within the first 24 hours. fans were handing out titles left-right-and-center, as if she single handedly proved that she was the best female dancer in 4th gen, and was on the list of best dancers in the industry period. she was.

💬 : she didn't just eat. she fasted for days. cooked a seven-course meal. fed the industry. AND left no crumbs 💬 : when the video ended I was just staring at my screen, watching a solid 10 seconds of heran looking up as the rain poured down on her. she literally left me speechless... 💬 : I don't care what ya'll say, she is easily top 5 in the industry. never in my life have I seen an idol dancer as technically gifted as her I'm sorry, your favs are not sitting with her just yet. 18 years old by the way!

even idols were openly talking about it! taemin mentioned her in a fucking interview and put it on his insta story! the king of art himself recognised her!

die for you (feat. heeseung) | the weeknd and ariana grande

⤹ 2023

what else did you expect? LITERALLY WHAT??

this cover was super chill, just straight vibes. even the video was literally recorded with a go-pro and in the studio. clips of them during recording and just chilling. the lights were dim, they both looked comfortable and freakishly attractive.

heran and heeseung are both hugeeee the weeknd fans, and just them doing this cover with their voices sounding absolutlely heavenly together. It only showed the industry why bang pd was fighting wars for them to debut together. once again they had to remind everyone that they are THAT duo. NYEAAHHHHH!

the video shoot

heran was radiating a different type of girlfriend energy in this video (r.i.p jungwon). it was insane how effortlessly intimate the energy was—not romantic (obviously), but something even more maddening. that lowkey, undeniable chemistry that comes from knowing someone so well your voices just lock in like puzzle pieces. the best friendship ever. they are the epitome of homeboy and homegirl.

heeseung was leaned back in the chair, headphones around his neck, hoodie slouched just right. heran was sitting next to him, hair pulled up into a messy bun in the most effortlessly cool way in an overzised t-shirt (jungwon's, but nobody needs to know that) and a pair of sweats.

💬 : jungwon watching this like 👁️👄👁️ 💬 : the vocals, the atmosphere, I'm never knowing peace again

the whole thing felt like the softest flex—no elaborate set, no high-concept visuals—just them. just raw talent and the type of synergy that you can't manufacture. they were so in sync, engenes joked they were probably breathing in harmony too.

the video ended with the clip of them laughing at the end, both yelling "WAIT WHY WAS THAT SO GOOD??" and heran throwing a water bottle at heeseung while he laughed too hard to dodge it. the credits rolled in the form of handwritten notes over footage of them ordering food post-recording.

naturally the cover blew up! but the best part? jungwon's weverse reply to an engene.

💬 : jungwon did you see heran and heeseung's cover?? don't you think they looked so cute together 🤗 ⤹ jungwonie she sang that song for me by the way 👍🏼

wants and needs (with ni-ki) | drake ft lil baby

⤹ 2024 (original by sean lew and and bailey sok)

absolute perfection of a dance cover. too much skill and swag in one video I fear. I wanna say mother and son but damn. just two talented best friends having a good time on set ugghhhhhhh.

this and their collab stage to that michael jackson medley during their fate tour?? YESYESYESYESSS A MILLION TIMES YESSS! It was practically "how many times can one maknae duo leave everyone screaming".

ni-ki really wanted to do a dance cover with heran for their youtube channel, seeing as him and jungwon did a performance for studio choom. poor boy literally begged her aww.

"noona, I know you're super busy. like with a billion things, with the tour and you solo stuff but I really want to do something with you."

heran tried to resist at first. not because she didn’t want to do it—never. she’d actually been itching to do another dance project with him for a while. but between comeback prep, her solo concept shoot, rehearsals, and those ungodly early morning recording sessions, she had zero free time.

still, ni-ki was giving her the biggest eyes. full pout. slight tilt of the head. the “maknae begging his favourite noona” combo.

“riki,” she sighed, closing her ipad after reviewing practice footage. “you’re literally weaponising your cuteness and it’s working. can you please go back to being nonchalant or something?” “Is that a yes?” “…shut up. send me the choreo.”

they practiced like there was no tomorrow but ni-ki couldn't help the slight twinge of guilt that he felt because he was keeping heran from her schedule. but she swore that those things were the last of her priorities. "you before anything else buddy. now help me up so that we can re-run the first section."

they were so locked in it was borderline scary.

the two of them sweating it out, marking moves until they could do the routine in their sleep. every time heran stumbled or missed a beat, she'd slap the air like it offended her and go, “again. again. again.”

ni-ki would just laugh and go along with it, even if his body was already sore from his own rehearsals.

“your perfectionism is showing.” “and yours isn’t?” she shot back, already restarting the song.

the video shoot

the concept was very movie-esqu. starting off with heran working in an office and then ni-ki joining until the song played. the choreography was very hefty on partner-work which made it all the more fun. overall it was just such a vibe and they enjoyed filming it, and had even MORE fun dancing together.

you could see it in their faces, the chemistry was palpable through the screen. ughhhhh mother and son yessssir.

💬 : the way the move like they share one braincell ughh my babies 😭😭😭 💬 : not me crying over a drake cover... THEY MAKE ME DO THIS SHIT EVERYTIME 💬 : introducing nishimura "nonchalant around everyone but heran" riki! 💬 : I paused to breathe and missed three transitions. riki and heran... you'll always be famous

and heran's weverse post?? everyone was in tears!

late night with the boy, because that's more important than whatever my manager keeps on calling me for <3 we finished filming our dance cover today so I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate my cutie 😭😭

💬 : NO STOP IT! STOP I CAN'T DO THIS TONIGHT 💬 : all I do is cry... 💬 : I heard through the grapevine that jungwon is punching the air rn

takes me back home | wasia project ⤹ 2024

when you show up to a "who loves enhypen more" challenge but heran is your opponent. might as well pack it up, yeah?

she posted the cover for their debut anniversary and it was such an emotional process—and it actually took her so long to record because of the amount of crying she was doing. because there's just something about her relationship with her members that she can't put into words.

It's a feeling, intangible, indescribable through words alone. and they just had such an overwhelming year, that taking a moment to record this song was a breath of relief.

those seven loser boys are quite literally the main reason that she stays grounded, whether it's through laughing at something stupid, jokingly fighting, or sharing quiet moments. nobody compares to them.

the video shoot

the video was emotional too—a compilation of videos straight out of heran's camera roll. and these were videos she's kept since debut (she takes emotional attachment very seriously) so it was beautiful and raw. the moments that fans didn't get to see, just her and her seven loser boys.

this video was her heart laid bare:

their first album photoshoot in jeju after i-land—the moment that felt like the real beginning. jake and sunghoon jumping ten feet in the air because they thought a bee was chasing them, the rest of the members yelling in panic while heran’s laughter echoed from behind the camera, shaky footage catching her nearly dropping the phone from laughing too hard.

their first christmas together—seven boys and one girl trying to decorate a tree way too tall for their dorm ceiling. it almost toppled over when ni-ki tried to hang a giant bow at the top while standing on jay’s back. absolute chaos. the clip ends with the tree lopsided and everyone wheezing on the floor.

the dressing room after their debut showcase—shaky footage of limbs everywhere as they screamed, cried, and collapsed into one giant pile of disbelief and joy. heran’s voice barely audible through her tears, “are we even alive right now?”

a soft moment in the backseat of their van—heran squished between jake and ni-ki, both of whom had fallen asleep on her shoulders after a long day of rehearsals. she looked into the camera with a helpless smile, whispered, “send help please,” but her eyes were soft, her voice warm. like this was home.

jungwon and heran on a swing set at 2 a.m.—one of those quiet, late-night walks they took when the world felt too loud. the camera sat on the grass in front of them, catching flickers of light from a nearby lamppost. jungwon pushed the swing gently with his foot while they talked about everything and nothing, laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world.

the video cuts between moments like that—raw, real, painfully beautiful.

sunoo crashing out on her at the arcade while she was at the claw machine, trying to get him a plushy. heeseung and her in the booth together as they recorded their background vocals and adlibs for a song, unable to take the moment seriously at all until they were hanging onto each other laughing. jay dramatically reciting lines from a script for one of their conceppt films while everyone booed him. sunghoon trying to braid her hair and accidentally tying a knot. heran filming her own face, mock annoyance etched into it. "hoon I swear if you can't untie that I'm—"

"I can I swear! jsut give me a moment!"

It wasn’t just nostalgia. It was a mosaic of love, growth, and being seen.

and the final scene—the one that shattered everyone?

a quiet rooftop shot. all eight of them sitting together, backs facing the camera, watching the sunrise after a long night of filming. nobody said a word, but you could feel the weight of everything they’d been through sitting gently on their shoulders. heran turned the camera slightly to catch the way jake leaned his head on sunghoon’s, ni-ki pointing something out in the sky, jungwon quietly, sunoo and heeseung complaining about something.

until the song ended, the instrumental fading out and allowing for the video's audio to play. heran saying, "what I just pushed all of youu off the roof and ran away."

and just like that, she left the entire fandom curled up in fetal position.

💬 : why did I think I was emotionally prepared for this video??? like oh cool, a little throwback— proceeds to sob uncontrollably for ten minutes straight 💬 : me watching the swing set scene like: 🧍🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 💬 : the way she just kept everything. like imagine how much she cherishes these moments that she saved them for YEARS and chose to share them now. HERAN YOU ARE SO LOVED 😭

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[fwoopersongs]

光亮 - Silver Linings; Let Your Light Shine

Note: Turn on the closed captions by clicking in the rectangle [cc]! You can drag and drop to put them wherever you like.

These are words both about the song and expressing her support for Zhou Shen by the lyricist, 苟璘 Gou Lin, on her Weibo:

This is a song of praise dedicated to tiny lives amidst the vast sweep of history. In the face of the grandeur of the Forbidden City’s six hundred years, there are far too many individual lives that can feel so very insignificant. However, the most crushing kind of smallness doesn’t come just from time or space, it comes from that deep and helpless frustration we’ve all felt at some point when the world overlooks or scorns us. And yet, even throughout all of time and the infinite vastness of the universe, even if our utmost effort only amounted to a brief spark in the end—here for a moment, then gone without a trace, what matters is that in that moment, we saw our own passion. We heard the voice in our heart. Maybe this is what it truly means to have lived? You are an angel sent to this world with the power to heal. So, keep blissfully singing. Keep shining with your purity and warmth. Keep lighting the way for those who need your light @Kabu_Zhou Shen. Tonight, the Forbidden City shines for you.

/I love this song so so so much. Ahhhhhhhhh. Started translating this on the 29th of January 2022 (I know bc all my translation project file titles start with the initiation date xD) and even TLed Su Shi’s poem, 定风波·莫听穿林打叶声 to prepare! But in the end, I had to put it on indefinite hiatus partially because I couldn’t decide what ‘光亮你自己’ vibed like to me, but also because I wanted to watch the show it was made for. Posting now because I finally did get around to watching it, and also because inspiration struck*! \o/

*Cough. Technically halfway through one night in 2023 if memory serves… Yes, it took me two years to write it down…

Background

This is one of twelve theme songs for 紫禁城 Forbidden City, the 12 episode 2021 documentary jointly produced by Beijing Radio & Television Station (BRTV) and The Palace Museum, which, as its name suggests, is centered on the history of and history that unfolded around the Forbidden Palace in Beijing, built in the Ming Dynasty and that still stands today. 

Every episode had its own ending song. Zhou Shen’s 光亮 / Silver Linings was the ending song for Episode 6 余晖 | Afterglow.

(Rockster929 has subtitled a short interview with the director of this documentary from China Documentary Festival here where he talks a bit about the background of the song, and some words from Zhou Shen about it and what he wants to convey with it.)

The ‘afterglow’ here refers to the meteorological phenomenon in which an arc of light can still be seen on the horizon after sunset or twilight. It’s the perfect word for this episode, which mainly covers the late Ming Dynasty in broad strokes, from the reign period of the Wanli Emperor, Emperor Shenzhong of Ming, to the fall of the dynasty with its last Emperor Chongzhen. If that sounds cliched to you, I thought so too… and boy was I happy to be wrong!

紫禁城 Forbidden City, Episode 6 余晖 | Afterglow and its theme, 光亮 Silver Linings

Some rambles about it (and a link to the show) for you all because I couldn’t find an English subbed version. If you can understand Chinese though, I highly recommend watching it because the MV version feels SO different when you have that context, and it’s no longer just a collection of pretty backgrounds, antiques and strangers that don’t mean anything to you.

In this episode, late Ming history is presented as one of fading grandeur and deepening shadow, with moments of inspiring resilience and tragic but admirable brilliance. 

It opens with an ominous rare winter thunderstorm in 1610, on the 24th day of the twelfth lunar month, marking the birth of Zhu Youjian, the future Emperor Chongzhen. With hindsight from what we know now, it seems almost symbolic (or so the documentary narration went xD). His life, like the dynasty he would one day inherit and then lose, would be similarly marked by turbulence and tragedy.

Use this: Handy list of Ming Dynasty Emperors.

We then jumped back a little ways in time (there was a lot of jumping back and forth… I had to consult the wikipedia timeline of Ming emperors) to the reign of the Longqing Emperor, Zhu Zaiji (1537 to 1572), who, upon ascending the throne in 1567, lifted a longstanding maritime ban and reopened Ming’s doors to overseas trade. This short lived yet forward-looking policy that later became known as the Longqing Opening was what brought new vitality into a flagging economy and rule. It also laid the economic foundation for the comprehensive reforms of the ‘light in the darkness’, Zhang Juzheng (1525 to 1582), initially Grand Secretary and basically prime minister under Emperor Wanli (1563 to 1620)—which turned things for the better in terms of both economy and efficient governance.

(If you love political cdramas PLEASE come check out Zhang Juzheng’s wiki page. He also wrote child!Emperor Wanli the illustrated book, 帝鉴图说 Illustrated Study of Emperors, which was featured in the documentary.)

Possibly due in part to the way his hand was forced over the investiture of a less favoured son as Crown Prince, in the later part of his rule, Emperor Wanli withdrew from court life citing illness, and state machinery began to grind down. Beneath the appearance of upheld rituals and grandeur, Ming had begun to hollow out. Factional infighting, court intrigue, and rigid, inefficient bureaucracy weakened the dynasty from within, even as natural disasters (and bad management of them), rebellions, and global shifts pressed in from without.

There was more about Emperor Taichang, Zhu Changluo (1582 to 1620) and Emperor Tainqi, Zhu Youjiao (1605 to 1627) before circling back to Emperor Chongzhen whom we started off with, and their ultimately futile attempts to turn back the tide (of the gradual decline of Ming). But beyond emperors, ministers and the suffering people, what stood out and became clear as I watched this episode was how very human they all were. The quiet heroism and tragic flaws of those who tried in their own ways to hold the center together. Sometimes the same ones who accelerated its end. The nobility and the failures, the integrity and short-sightedness, the earnest reformers and bitter rivals—sometimes all in one messy tangled ball. History, shaped by people in all their fragility and complexity, against forces they could not control.

Ah, I may have made it all sound very bleak! But really the heart of 余晖 is not a story of collapse and things falling apart, but of endurance and resilience. Of little matches keeping a glimmer of light in the darkness.

Which then leads us seamlessly to the next section ~

This Song and How I See it

(But in the meantime, lemme plug a couple of the versions I’ve enjoyed as well. Here (Illumination) from tumblr user six-sticks with awesome word effects that add to the vibe, and this 2023 CCTV New Year’s Gala version (The Light), which is not as literal and probably had to conform to some sort of word count guideline, but still the interpretation is so clear!)

Upon the sea, a gust of wind begins to blow, white clouds roll toward the land [1]. the monsoon carrying away grains of sand. Four seasons: Cycles of cold and warmth. Look, it’s the effervescence of life, and here again, traces of decay [2]. Be it the sudden wind and rain in your face as you race, or the illuminating light of a single burning match against the darkness [3], perhaps you will never guess where ineffable fate leads you [4] like the shooting stars that fly without knowing where they go [5]. But ah, and yet I… I am willing believe in the smallest, the weakest, the gentlest and bravest of all, you. Reaching out with all your strength and all you have [6]. No matter how fathomless, endless, unsolvable, always, there’s a sliver of hope [7]. Be your own light [8a]. Heed not the sound cutting through the forest, battering leaves; straw-draped, weathering a lifetime's storms unchecked by fog or rain [9]. At Changyin Hall in the end, we are all just stories taking the stage [10]; a grain of sand to six hundred years, and all that once was, a dream [11]. But oh, and yet I…I am willing to believe in the smallest, the weakest, the gentlest and bravest of all, you. Reaching out with all your strength and all you have. No matter how fathomless, endless, unsolvable, always, there’s a sliver of hope. Let your light shine [8b]. Heed not the sound cutting through the forest, battering leaves. Straw-draped, weathering a lifetime's storms unchecked by fog or rain. At Changyin Hall in the end, we are all just stories taking the stage; a grain of sand to six hundred years, and all that once was, a dream. Unwavering despite the outcome [12a]. Being your bravest self. Undeterred by fate [12b]. The bravest you can be.

Notes

[1] 一阵风吹起 / 白云涌向陆地 / 季风带走沙粒 a gust of wind begins to blow / white clouds roll toward the land / the monsoon carrying away grains of sand.

Honestly, translating this line was like all my secondary school physical geography nonsense coming back to haunt my soul. Monsoon winds are regional wind patterns that reverse direction seasonally due to the Coriolis Effect produced by the rotation of the earth etc. etc. xD It's a very lively and lovely way to set the scene for this song because it calls ocean and sunlight dappled beach imagery to mind immediately, tying in to the natural cycles of nature, the storm and the sea that are mentioned later on in the song. 

I had great fun choosing a word for 涌 because it’s like a rising, surging sort of motion right? But the vibes are a smidge gentler in this sentence because of the descriptions that sandwich it. Since rolling clouds are a stunning thing and since these seem to herald a storm, that’s what I went with!

[2]  多鲜活的生命 / 又枯萎的痕迹 Look, it’s the effervescence of life / and here again, traces of decay

The 多 in this sentence is of ‘多么’ (duō me) | how, frequently shortened to just 多 alone. And then ‘effervescence’ was the first word that popped into my head at 鲜活 - vivid and vibrant and bursting with vitality, and I am fond enough to keep it so, even if a closer match to the sentence might have been ‘how effervescent life is!’ xD I think one of the versions I recced earlier uses 'a vivid life with marks from withering', which is also super valid.

With 枯萎’s association with plant life, perfectly tying in to the previous line about the interchanging of seasons, perhaps wither might have been a more suitable choice than decay? But I couldn’t figure out a sentence that sounded right with ‘wither’ in it, so… oh well!

[3] 是奔跑中突然袭来的风雨 / 是黑暗中一根火柴燃烧的光明 Be it the sudden wind and rain in your face as you race / or the illuminating light of a single burning match against the darkness

This structure of ‘Be it the / or the’ comes from my perceiving the lines as ‘是 / (还)是’ and these two with the next two lines conveying this: Whether it’s the storm that hits you unexpectedly, or being the fragile strength-giving light in the darkness, maybe you can’t tell what your purpose is or if your effort will even make a difference at the end of it all… 

Like, omg I really love the sudden rain in your face here, because this is what sets up for the opening of the opera singing later on! Will explain in [9].

[4] 也许你猜不透未知的宿命 perhaps you will never guess where ineffable fate leads you

Predestined is the typical translation of 宿命, which is also literally [movement of the constellations] [determined by command]. Meanwhile, typically, we hear ‘fate written in the stars’ in english. So… fate it is!

[5] 像流星飞翔着它却不知目的 like the shooting stars that fly without knowing where they go

‘Where they go’ is because 目的 can also be direction as well as purpose. When we add a 地 at the end, it becomes 目的地 (mù dì dì) destination. I went with a slightly anthropomorphic rendition here to reflect the tone that’s implied about the shooting stars* that don’t 不知 *know* their purpose. 

The way it is phrased in the Chinese, the pronoun 它 is for non-human beings and objects similar to ‘it’. However when pronounced, 它 (tā) is indistinguishable from what you use for a human, 他 (tā). Combining that with the image in the MV that has the magnificent time-exposure shot of the trajectory of stars above 太和殿 (tài hé diàn) | Hall of Supreme Harmony, I used ‘shooting stars’—plural and ‘they’ for this line.

If I were prepping for a lyric video without the context of the MV, I’d probably change it to something along the lines of ‘like a shooting star that flies without knowing where to go’.

[6] 用尽了全力 努力地回应 Reaching out with all your strength and all you have 

Hmmmmmm I let go of 回应’s responding / replying shade of meaning in favour of reaching because I couldn’t tease out the unwieldy sentence if all remained. xD 

[7] 总有一线生机 always, there’s a sliver of hope

But another aspect of that creative decision (other than laziness) is that I wanted to capture that grasping for the ‘一线生机 single thread of chance at survival’ image.

[8] 光亮你自己 (a) Be your own light / (b) Let your light shine

This line was what had me conflicted and idly racking my brains for literal months xD

Where conventionally 光亮 is shining, bright or light, none of that really fitted in with 你自己. Light yourself, as in illuminate yourself? Make yourself shine? It’s not the same as ‘setting yourself alight’ in the sense of the burning match from the earlier line, but a sort of illuminating quality. The image here is that *you* are giving off the light.

(Also no I didn't see any of the interviews/pre-performance words where he talked about it, or I wouldn't have been stuck for so long!)

And what you see is my conclusion! The first one comes after the verse that is encouragement for ones feeling adrift, out of their depth or purposeless and lost. So the call to ‘be your own light’ feels like something I would say.

The light comes from within yourself.

The second one comes after the opera style verse… well… so maybe let’s leap right into that first!

[9] 莫听穿林打叶声 / 一蓑烟雨任平生 Heed not the sound cutting through the forest, battering leaves / straw-draped, weathering a lifetime's storms unchecked by fog or rain

This sentence is actually made up of two separate lines from the same poem by Su Shi (better known as Su Dongpo - btw it’s not his name but Su of the Eastern Slope xD I’ve explained about how he got it here). The poem is 定风波·莫听穿林打叶声 | To the tune of ‘Still the Wind and Waves’ • (first line) heed not the sound of rain in the forest.

A prominent Song dynasty poet and official, Su Shi wrote this poem during his relegation to Huangzhou around 1080. He had been falsely accused of criticizing government policies in his poetry and was imprisoned before being demoted to a minor post in farway and destitute land. It was a major MAJOR fall, and I don’t have the words to describe what he (and others) went through, but there is an ENTIRE wikipedia page for the whole case. So if interested, here you go: Crow Terrace Poetry Trial. The link is to the conclusion of the case and his sentencing because that’s what directly led to the circumstances under which he wrote the poem we’re interested in, but feel free to scroll up and read from the top.

Su Shi's fall from political favor and relegation deeply impacted him (keep in mind that he was 43 when this happened, remained in Huangzhou for 4 years and passed about 16 years later in 1101), but rather than grow bitter or defeated, his writings from this period show a shift toward embracing reclusion, simplicity, and freedom from official burdens. One day, returning and getting caught in the rain, Su Shi found himself walking calmly while others were flustered. This real-life episode inspired the poem, where the last line reveals his secret to remaining at ease in spite of his circumstances. That same theme is reflected in 光亮’s ending lines.

Something cute (Zhou Shen related) that I came across recently: Since the line was derived from two different parts of this poem which also happens to be a classroom and exam staple, in his concerts, Zhou Shen has tested fans on singing the song 光亮 vs. reciting the poem 顶风波. Here’s one from 811 Nanjing in 2024 (I adore that outfit!!!!!)

Anyway! Can’t say all that without showing you what we’ve been talking about, so here it is:

三月七日，沙湖道中遇雨。雨具先去，同行皆狼狈，余独不觉，已而遂晴，故作此词。 On the seventh day of the third month, midway on Sandylake Road, we met with rain. Those bearing rain gear went on ahead. My traveling companions were all miserable and disheveled, only I did not feel discomfited; shortly after, the skies cleared when the rain ended. This is why I pen these words. 莫听穿林打叶声，何妨吟啸且徐行。竹杖芒鞋轻胜马，谁怕？一蓑烟雨任平生。 Heed not the sound cutting through the forest, battering leaves. Why not keep singing along as you tread? On bamboo staff and wicker sandals light and swift, better suited than a steed. Who’s afraid? Straw-draped, weathering a lifetime's storms unchecked by fog or rain.  料峭春风吹酒醒，微冷，山头斜照却相迎。回首向来萧瑟处，归去，也无风雨也无晴。 A sharp Spring breeze dissipates my drunken haze. It is a little chilly. Yet, welcoming me on the mountaintop are the setting sun’s slanting rays. I look toward the way we came, where leaves rustled in the cold. Toward a return where there is neither storm nor clear skies.

Is he really talking about just the rain in that first line, or does it also apply to the storms in life too? Keep walking forward, unafraid, just as you had before and sing in its face!!!! The secret to being at ease is in finding the silver lining in every dark day and appreciating it. And whether you’re met with storms or clear skies, take them with equanimity and a neutral heart. 

[10] 畅音阁里终一叙 At Changyin Hall in the end, we are all just stories taking the stage

The phrase ‘历史的舞台 history’s stage’ was used a couple of times throughout the documentary which I took inspiration from for the reading of the line. To support this interpretation, I also took 叙 xù in 终一叙 as that of 叙述 which is to record or to narrate. 

Hearing this song for the first time (and every time before actually looking it up xD) though, I did wonder about 畅音阁 (chàng yīn gé), which sounds like a building, a place of music, and why are we recounting stories there. Now, I think it’s sort of meta to use opera style singing to cue a place where opera is performed, while practically saying ‘all the world's a stage‘ xD

For the song, 畅音阁 | Pavilion of Pleasant Sounds is translated as Changyin Hall, transliterating its name as Changyin and the type of building, a ge, as ‘Hall’ for the sake of catchiness. (Hey we call it Langya HALL not Langya Pavillion xD) But for the sake of clarity in the notes because the official name for a 殿 is Hall, let’s call this place Changyin Pavilion.

In Episode 10 of 紫禁城 Forbidden City, in a small segment depicting Empress Cixi’s 60th birthday amidst a tumultus time for Qing, we learn that Changyin Hall is located near to her 宁寿宫 | Ningshou Palace / Palace of Tranquil Longevity, and that it hosts the largest performance stage in all of the Forbidden Palace. 

Here is a map where you can try hunting for it!

I went to look up the page for Changyin Pavilion in The Palace Museum’s website and here it is. You can even go in and click the 360 view to explore it.

Here’s a translation of the short writeup about it on the page.

(Post Translation Draft Edit: 😵 SUPER regret setting out to do this LMAO *coughs blood*. Please take all of it with a pinch of salt!!!!! I’ll leave the Chinese text alongside for people who can read themselves.)

畅音阁位于宁寿宫后区东路南端，座南面北，为清宫内廷演戏楼。乾隆三十七年（1772年）始建，四十一年建成。嘉庆七年（1802年）曾维修，二十二年于阁后（南）接盖卷棚顶扮戏楼。光绪十七年（1891年）维修。现存建筑为嘉庆年间改建后的规制。

Changyin Pavilion sits in the area behind Ningshou Palace at the Southmost end of the East road. North facing with its back to the south, it served as an opera performance stage in the palace during the Qing Dynasty. Construction began in the 37th year of Emperor Qianlong's reign (1772) and was completed in his 41st year (1776). It once had to be maintained and repaired in the 7th year of Emperor Jiaqing’s reign (1802), and in the 22nd year (1817), an annex with a curved-roof, a juanpeng ding, was added to the south of the pavilion as a dressing area. Another round of maintenance took place in the 17th year of Emperor Guangxu's reign (1891). The architecture that remains today reflects the style and modifications made during the Jiaqing period.

畅音阁三重檐，通高20.71m，卷棚歇山式顶，覆绿琉璃瓦黄琉璃瓦剪边，一、二层檐覆黄琉璃瓦。阁面阔3间，进深3间，与南边5开间扮戏楼相接，平面呈凸字形。

Changyin Pavilion has three-tiered eaves with an overall height of 20.71 meters. Its roof features a combination of xieshan (hip-and-gable) and curved eaves, covered with green glazed tiles edged with yellow glazed tiles. The first and second levels are roofed entirely with yellow glazed tiles. Three jians wide and three jians deep (sorry, but I can’t figure out what they mean by ‘jian’, so uhhhhh here’s an entire article for you about it xD), and it connects to the five jian annex dressing area to the south, forming a T-shaped layout.

上层檐下悬“畅音阁”匾，中层檐下悬“导和怡泰”匾，下层檐下悬“壶天宣豫”匾。内有上中下三层戏台，上层称福台，中层称禄台，下层称寿台。寿台面积210㎡，台内不设立柱，采用抹角梁。

Under the eaves of the uppermost level hangs a plaque that reads ‘畅音阁 Changyin Pavilion’, the one on the middle level reads ‘导和怡泰 Guided Harmony and Pleasant Peace’, and the lowest level has ‘壶天宣豫 Spreading Heavenly Joy’ (Chinese blog post explaining the names). Within the building, there are three vertically stacked stages. The upper stage is called 福台 Fortune Stage, the middle one is called 禄台 Prosperity Stage, and the lower one Longevity Stage. The 寿台 Longevity Stage, with an area of 210 square meters is designed without interior columns, using corner-braced beams (video explaining this architectural building technique in Chinese) instead. 

台面后部设有4座楼梯，接平台，上楼梯可抵达禄台。寿台北、东、西三面明间的两柱上方装饰鬼脸卷草纹木雕彩绘匾，惟正（北）面挂联：

At the rear of the stage, there are four staircases leading to a platform that provides access to the Prosperity Stage above. Installed upon the upper part of two front pillars of the open jeans (in this case probably meaning open air area) on the north, east, and west sides of the Longevity Stage are ornately painted wooden plaques with ghostly masks and curly grass patterns. A couplet is hung on the Northern face:

动静叶清音 知水仁山随所会 春秋富佳日 凤歌鸾舞适其机

In motion or stillness, pure melodies resonate; the wise are drawn to flowing waters, the virtuous to steadfast mountains — each finds joy in their own way. Spring and autumn brim with gentle, golden days; the phoenix sings, the luan bird dances, each in harmony with the moment.

台面中部设地井，盖板可开合。台下地面四角各有窨井一眼，南边中间有一眼水井，可为戏中表演喷水提供水源。

A trapdoor above a well in the ground is set in the center of the stage floor, with a cover that can be opened or closed. Each corner beneath the stage has a drainage point, with a freshwater well located at the center of the south side, providing a source of water for stage effects such as spraying fountains of water during performances.

禄台、福台均将前沿（北侧）做为台面，使观戏者抬头便可看到。三层台设天井上下贯通，禄台、福台井口安设辘轳，下边直对寿台地井，根据剧情需要，天井、地井可升降演员、道具等。使用三层台的剧目不多，绝大多数只在寿台上表演。

The northernmost side of both the Prosperity and Fortune stages are used as the downstage, allowing the audience to look upward and enjoy the show. A vertical airwell runs through all three levels, and the Fortune and Prosperity Stage have a winch system installed at the edge of this airwell, with the bottom reaching to the Longevity stage. This setup allowed actors, props, and set pieces to be raised or lowered as needed for dramatic effects. However, few operas required use of all three stages and most performances took place solely on the Longevity Stage.

畅音阁建筑宏丽，京西颐和园内德和园大戏楼即仿畅音阁规制建造。Changyin Pavilion is known for its grand and splendid architecture. The 德和园 dé hé yuán | Garden of Virtue and Harmony at the Summer Palace in western Beijing was modeled after Changyin Pavilion.

[11] 六百年一粟 沧海一梦 a grain of sand to six hundred years, and all that once was, a dream

This line is a… I guess you could say, a crossover of two sayings? They’ve used it to great effect too!

One is an idiom, 沧海一粟 (cāng hǎi yī sù) | a grain of sand in the vast ocean, that originates from another piece of writing by Su Shi, called 《赤壁赋》 On the Red Cliff (maybe this is why they kept his name in as a lyricist too? This whole song has been very thematically resonant with his poem LOL), where 赋 (fù) is a type of poetic exposition, often translated as ‘rhapsody’. 

The other is 浮生一梦 (fú shēng yī mèng) | life, full of its vicissitudes, is like a (brief) dream. And instead of keeping it in as it is exactly, they swapped 浮生 [floating life] for 六百年 [six hundred years], because this song is written for a documentary about the Forbidden City and its six hundred years of history.

(Do you remember the wind that blew over the sea? The monsoon that carried away grains of sand?)

I feel like swapping them over has this amazing effect of enhancing how they feel.

Also! Because I'm just like this about rabbit holes (tragically), I went to read Su Shi's Red Cliff essay, and you know what? It's also very relevant to the topics in this song. Have casually translated it below with randomly interspersed commentary.

On the Red Cliff by Su Shi

In the autumn of the year Renxu, on the sixteenth day of the seventh lunar month, Master (as in Mr… also he’s self referencing in third person to my modern Chinese reading self, so I shall continue in this vein) Su and his companion set out by boat to tour the area at the foot of Red Cliff.

A gentle breeze stirred, and the river lay still and calm. He raised his cup to his companion, reciting poems of the bright moon, singing the verse ‘Moonrise’ from the Book of Songs. Not long after, the moon rose above the mountain to the East and lingered between the constellations of the Dipper and the Ox. White fog rolled across the river, and the light across the water seemed one with the sky. Their tiny reed boat floated wherever the current wished, carried across the boundless mist. It felt as though they were riding the wind through the void, not knowing where they might stop—light and free, as if they had shed the world behind them, transformed and ascending into the Immortal Realm.

And so at the height of his delight at the wine and the night’s beauty, he struck the edge of the boat and began to sing. “Oars of osmanthus wood, paddles of orchid, cutting through rippling light, chasing the glitter of the flowing river. My thoughts adrift toward the one I long for, I look beyond heaven’s edge where the beauty lies.” His companion played their hollowed flute in harmony. The sound was soft and haunting, like bitterness, like longing, like quiet weeping or a lament. And the ending notes were sorrowful, moving and lingering, like strands of a thread that would not break. It could have stirred a jiaolong from its hidden ravine into a dance, or moved the widows drifting alone in their boats into tears.

Master Su sobered and sat up straight at once, asking his companion seriously, “Why is there such sorrow in your music?”

He answered, “‘The moon rises amongst scattered stars and magpies fly south.’ Isn’t that the song of Cao Mengde? Looking westward from here toward Xiakou, eastward toward Wuchang, the rivers and mountains entwined are verdant. Was it not here that Cao Mengde was trapped by Zhou Yu? He who once conquered Jingzhou, took Jiangling, and sailed with the current downriver. His warships stretched for a thousand miles, his banners covered the sky. He poured wine on the river banks, held his spear across his lap and composed poetry, truly a hero in his time. But… what remains of him and his now?

“And you and me, fishing and gathering wood on the river’s edge. With the fish and shrimp keeping us company, the deer and elk our friends, riding in our leaf of a boat, toasting each other with liquor in our cups. We are like mayflies in the vastness of the universe, a grain of sand in sea’s depths. I mourn the fleeting nature of our lives, and I envy the endless flow of the Long River.

“Ah, to fly with the immortals, to hold the moon and never part—though I know such things cannot be attained, so all I can do is to entrust this lingering tune to the sorrowful wind.”

(Oh it’s a mid-life crisis from being in a historic location. RELATABLE my dude.)

Master Su replied, “Do you know of the nature of water and the moon? The river flows on and on, yet it never truly leaves us. The moon waxes and wanes, but it never truly changes or grows lesser. From these, we can observe a pattern—one perspective on this is how easily things change, even Heaven and Earth do not remain unchanged for a single moment. But if we look for what *does not* change, then all things, ourselves included, are endless. What, then, is there to envy?

“Between heaven and earth, all things have their own place. We ought not to desire even a speck that is not ours. And yet, the clear breeze over the river, the bright moon between the mountains—our ears hear them as sound, our eyes see them as light and colour. Nothing forbids us from taking them in, and they are limitless and inexhaustible. These are the boundless treasures of nature, and they belong to both you and me.”

His companion smiled then. They rinsed the cups and filled them again. The dishes were emptied and stood in an awfully messy state. Together they lay side by side in the boat, not realizing that dawn was already breaking in the east.

So, once again from the top! :D

莫听穿林打叶声 一蓑烟雨任平生 畅音阁里终一叙 六百年一粟 沧海一梦 Heed not the sound cutting through the forest, battering leaves. Straw-draped, weathering a lifetime's storms unchecked by fog or rain. At Changyin Hall in the end, we are all just stories taking the stage; a grain of sand to six hundred years, and all that once was, a dream.

How do you feel about these lines now?

(NGL, hearing '畅音阁里终一叙' makes me cry every time.)

The first opera style read of these lines coming in after the first 光亮你自己 / be your own light / illuminate yourself / you'll light up your life is just OOF. Layering it with the background music to make it sound distant just gives it this timeless effect—like it's both about and addressed to all these people, be it 11th century's Su Shi in the midst of his relegations to ever more rural and perilous lands, others in worse straits whose voices we shall never know, or even that person who lost something vaster and heavier than we can ever imagine (it may not be a comfort, but the nature of humanity and history is such that you are not alone in being in that position). The way it twists my heart is just T_T

And then the next verse cutting in with his voice in focus again !!!!!

可是啊 我却 却愿意去相信 最渺小最微弱最柔软最无畏的你 用尽了全力 努力地去回应 再无边再无尽再无解总有一线生机 But oh, and yet I…I am willing to believe in the smallest, the weakest, the gentlest and bravest of all, you. Reaching out with all your strength and all you have. No matter how fathomless, endless, unsolvable, always, there’s a sliver of hope.

光亮你自己 Let your light shine.

It just hits SO different.

[12] (a) 无论目的 / (b) 不问宿命 (a) Unwavering despite the outcome / (b) Undeterred by fate

Literally 无论目的 (wú lùn mù dì) is [no matter] (the) [destination/purpose/goal]. However, it is also a callback to the earlier line about the shooting star that does not know the way. So I’ve extended the metaphor a little bit. If 目的 is the ‘place you mean to reach’ literally/figuratively, then whether you know it or not and whether you reach it or not is the outcome. And if no matter what happens, you’re unaffected by the outcome, then you’re…? Unwavering!

Same idea for 不问宿命 (bù wèn sù mìng). There was a film a few years back called 无问西东 (wú wèn xī dōng) - I translated a maobuyi song for it and had to check it out xD, and there was a line that went roughly like: May you remember how precious you are and resist malice when you are struck down, may you have faith in your worth when you feel lost; love what you love, do what you want to do. Follow your heart, and don’t be distracted by doubts. 

It’s the same idea here. Don’t be pulled back by the thought of what’s ‘fated’.

Let yourself shine, and you'll light up your life.

[libraartz]

Come on Y'all 😐

Warning: Minor spoilers I'll try not to spoil too much

I don't usually made posts like this but I need to get this off my chest. This is about MHA Volume 42 ending. Yall... Omg bro... Yall gotta be shitting me man... I tryna say I'm genuinely dissapointed, not in the ending, but in the fucking fandom bro... Like are yall joking right now? In case you don't know MHA's newest volume has some additonal pages and Horikoshi changed up the ending some you know and what do I see. People complaining about the ending AGAIN and breaking down about the ships. Mostly BakuDeku fans. This is no shade to any shippers since I do multiships on my AO3 as well as rare-pairs so no hate to a lot of yall. But I'm honestly dissappointed in yall because ever since those leaks yall have been going ballistic... As in BALLISTIC on twitter and TikTok. I don't have twitter (And never will) But I've been seeing some screenshots on Tiktok and I just let out a huge sigh. Don't worry I know it ain't all of yall cuz some of yall are chill but I'm sill dissapointed.

People are saying IzuOcha (That's suppose to be implied idk but I'll get to the idk part) are going to ruin Ochako's character development, this that and the third. SOME (if it don't apply let it fly) of yall are some of the most agitating, delusional people I've ever seen bro. It's just like 2021-2022 all over again and now I'm seeing some toxic bakudeku d0x and send threats to people and it hasn't even been a full 24-48 hours. Yall do relize that even if it becomes cannon yall can still ship BakuDeku right? Cuz now yall are setting yourselves back and making the fandom look worse than it already is and stuff like this is why I do my thing on my teeny tiny tumblr and Ao3 account to stay away from yall.

And another thing it's about the hero rankings part (Some spoilers!!!) . I'm seeing people, mostly Bakugo fans complain about Bakugo being 15 in the charts and I'm see a whole bunch of hate towards Monoma and Shoji because they're on the top 10... Yall are some of the most illiterate mfs I've ever seen 😐. Like did we even read the same manga and watch the same anime? Shoji is number 9 (and rightfully so my underrated king, as you mf should 😤✊🏽) because he's like the symbol of peace for heteromorphs. He literally stopped THOUSANDS of heteromorphs from storming the hospital and doing something that would of possibly resulted in bloodshed and set them back three decades at like 16 years old. There was a small panel in chapter 430 where Shoji was shaking hands with some dude (I'll find the link) but it was like a huge deal since the guy was a huge goverment deal (idk but yall know what I mean), Shoji was like idk 17-18. Since his debute he's been doing all he could for hetermorph communities and at 24 he was awarded the Imamura Peace Prize. AS HE MF SHOULD! So ntm on him 🙄✋🏽. And for Monoma, who's grown on me... Ngl I actually like his character now, he was bullied for his quirk and he was told he was sidekick material, basically putting him down since quirks like his are not that recognized. So now that he made it to no. 10 maybe he's able to show young kids with quirks like his that they can do it. Same with Shoji, he's a huge impact on the heteromorph community. Plus they've both gotten stronger during those 8 years.

Now for Bakugo's situation. In Chapter 430 Aizawa told Deku that Bakugo was lowered on the rankings AGAIN because he was cussing out the reporters... Yall he's still able to rise again and plus if he's low now, just IMAGINE what he'd rank if his past of bullying came to light. And remember, Hawks is now a leader of the HPSC, that's in charge of the rankings so he also plays a huge part of how the rankings changed. The ranking's aren't' just about power, it's about popularity and how the heros impact the fans in a way. Like yall need to use yall brains and have some sort of media literacy. Now am I dissapointed Ochaco and Tsu wasn't in the top 20 at least? Sorta but they still have the chance to get higher.

Now please go eat something, drink some water, touch some grass, take a deep breath and calm down. Horikoshi changed the ending only for yall not to be satisfied and people saying that this could be ai is honestly dissapointing considering the about of time and work Horikoshi put into this. This is just like when people were misinterpreting chapter 430 and spreading misinformation and it's happening again. Yall are not satisfied with nothing and I'm starting to see why alot of people don't fw a lot of yall. Like yall seriously need to do the fuck better.

PS: Those who read my AO3, look out for updates on my fics I just trying to juggle school with writing but I should be uploading soon :D

[sunaddicted]

Instead of a 2024 fic review, in honour of 2025 being my 10th year posting my writing on ao3, I thought it would be fun to do a little recap year by year of my most liked fics.

It's fascinating to see which fandoms came and went and which turned out to be there to stay!

If you're as curious as I was and maybe want to (re)discover some of my older fics, some links and stats await you under the "read more" 💛

2015

My resolution for the new year is to go back to my origins and start writing again for the Tolkien fandom!

Enthralling (Silmarillion, Angbang) is hands down one of my best fics to this day, despite the fact that my English wasn't as good as it is now! If you want to read about Mairon seducing the mightiest of the Valar, this is the best take I wrote on it!

~

2016

Sentient Reflection (DCU, Superbat) not only was the first superbat fic I wrote but it also was my first one in the DC fandom and folks, as you very well know, I've been digging this particular hole deeper and deeper with no signs of hitting rock bottom.

One sour note, is seeing Selfish Prayers (James Bond, 00q): I'm sorry to everyone who followed it and was a fan but it will never be finished 😔

~

2017

It was the year of James Bond AUs! Omega!Bond and alien!Q clearly were the favourites, with The Odd One (James Bond, 00q) - the first instalment of the omega!Bond series - being one of my most liked fics ever in the fandom.

Aside note: in 2017 started my descent into the garbage fire that was Gotham (my beloved) and I've been steadily writing for this fandom for years and none of what I think are my best Gotham fics - my best fics in general, actually - ever made it to the top 5 😱

~

2018

Superbat won hands-down that year, what can I say? Not to toot my own horn but I did write some bangers.

*peach emoji* (DCU, Superbat) is all about Bruce's ass - enough said, right?

~

2019

Superbat kept winning 😮‍💨 Whipped (DCU, Superbat) is there for you if you want to have a laugh.

~

2020

My Bond fics showed up (I did participate again in the 007 Fest after many years of absence so, that probably helped)! Alas, as the rare pair gremlin that I am, Everything They Said (DCU, Superwonderbat) came to eat - if you're in the mood for some delicious Trinity angst, all in Bruce's head, you're definitely going to enjoy the fic!

~

2021

Daniel Craig bowed out of the franchise with a movie I absolutely, 💯% despised and if your liking of Unfixable (James Bond, 00q) shows anything, is that a lot of you hated it too 👼🏽

Honourable mention to Between Us, In The Dark (WWDITS, Nandermo) - I wrote like.. 4 fics for this fandom and still one of them made it to the top 5!

~

2022

Finally, some of my Gotham fics got to the top 5! And they're not as good as some real fucking bangers I wrote hahaha

Dancing in Circles (James Bond, 00q) got top spot and with a good reason: old geezers in love, dancing circles around one another? They will pine for forever, sign me up.

~

2023

You can pry my rare pairs from my cold, dead hands 😮‍💨 Three of Cups (DCU, Superwonderbat) is the soft Trinity smut we all deserve.

~

2024

Listen, it was a bad writing year: writer's block has been kicking my ass to hell and back relentlessly.

But you know what? I still write some damn good superbat smut! Fire on Fire (DCU, Superbat) is filthy and loving and a take on alpha/alpha relationships I don't see much of!

I hope you had as much fun reading this little review as I did discovering all of this! 🤩

[fannyyann]

Hey, hope you're doing okay. I hope you don't mind me asking, but I am rather new to the mattdrai fandom and I couldn't help but wonder:

Was Matthew really as bad as a lot of fic lead to believe in his earlier hockey years in Calgary? And was he really disliked in the room - where there rumours like that? So many fics build on this premise, and seeing him now in Florida and hearing all the nice things his teammates say about him and seeing the things he does himself and the insane good hockey he plays... it's hard to believe.

It's so strange also that it's so rarely mentioned that Leon was the one to be sent down to the minors, not Matthew.

Plus what I don't get: matthew is a lot hotter than Leon? why is it always told like Leon is the hottest dude on earth while Matthew is nothing? comparing early pics and pics from now... it's just not true? Leon looks good, a bit bland IMO, but Matthew is and was just hot in a very unique and special way. maybe because he isn't that bland generic good looking Leon is? But good looking in a special way? so that got a lot longer than I thought it would, hope you don't mind the ask.

i don't mind you asking at all! this is basically my roman empire so MY apologies if this gets unwieldy but i have FEELINGS about matthew's early fic portrayal lmao

in his six years on the flames, matthew was always one of the top five scorers.

his rookie year, he was sixth in rookie scoring

the season he was picked for his first ASG, the flames were 16th in the league at the time all star rosters were announced and matthew was their top scorer.

so it's not like he was the best player from a bottom of the league team or going because he was the home town boy, he was a playoff team's best player (both at the asg break and when the season was eventually suspended because of covid).

and even in his career worst year (2020-2022), he ended the year as their third best scorer and only six points behind johnny (the leader). and as one of calgary's beat reporters said in his end of the year review, Matthew was "good, but not quite as good as the Flames needed him to be."

so i've never really understood why people were portraying him like that either and still haven't figure out if most of it was unreliable narrator kind of stuff or if some authors actually thought he was bad before he had his breakout season, but it doesn't reflect reality.

as for him being disliked in calgary, that all stems from jake muzzin flipping the puck at him, and the subsequent players only meeting that took place after it, in which matthew allegedly told the team he was upset they didn't join him in the scrum after and he was then told him it can't be a riot every night.

before that there were never any rumors that i'm aware of that he was unliked in the room, and in 2019 gio, who most people tend to think is the one who told matthew to tone it down, said this about another players only meeting:

so while the 2021 players only meeting was a story because matthew wasn't playing like his usual self afterward, i've never thought it was indicative of him not being liked by his teammates. and honestly, you have to take it all with a grain of salt anyway because while guys obviously bullshit the media, at the practice after the players only meeting guys talked about how there was a general lack of emotion, and how they came out there trying to have fun with each other and put it behind them, and in the postgame the next night, gio specifically sites getting into scrums and mixing it up when asked how much more emotion they played with in that win compared to earlier losses, so if mixing it up was good the very next night, the math doesn't quite add up, yk?

but johnny did confirm in his spittin chiclets appearance about two weeks after the muzzin incident that matthew was pissed after they left him out to dry that night, and when asked about matthew's struggles that season darryl sutter said matthew needed to, and would, get back to playing to his identity, so the whole cause and effect of the muzzin incident on matthew's play that season isn't completely unfounded, but i do think multiple guys saying the team needed to play with more emotion, johnny saying in the chiclets episode that the guys skating off didn't find out about the puck flip until they saw it on sportsnet and saying he felt bad about it, and the new coach coming in and getting matthew to play back to his style shows that it wasn't as personal as it was made out to be.

anyway, the flames may not have be as tight knit as the panthers are, but matthew had his people there. he's bffs with hanifin and his friendship with sam bennett is part of what drew him to florida. johnny always says great things about him, blake coleman called him the heartbeat of the team, and was such an important voice in the room that the flames suffered when he and gudbranson were no longer around to tell sutter to chill the fuck out when he was being too hard on guys in the room.

he probably wasn't close with every teammate, most people aren't friends with all their coworkers, but he wasn't some sort of loner in that locker room.

as for the looks, that's all down to personal preference. leon is definitely very conventionally attractive and while matthew has definitely glowed up in the last few seasons, he was by no means ugly. i wouldn't even say he's really unconventionally attractive either. he's got a good face and was a cute teen and people who are like "oh no i find matthew tkachuk attractive now" have literally never made sense to me. but again! personal preference and all that.

again, my apologies if you weren't looking for THIS MUCH of an answer to your question but this isn't even all the sources i pulled up when i first got this ask so i did TRY to keep it short lol

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my friends due to a psychological disorder?

Ever since I (21F, american) was quite young (I would say around my 9 or 10 years) my mother noticed I had a tendency for lying, sometimes even for no reason at all. Some years after that I started going through therapy and psychiatric sessions and was diagnosed as bipolar and, more specifically, mythomania (compulsive/pathological lying, the diagnostic changed depending on which psychiatrist I went through). My manic episodes usually last longer than the depressive ones and, when those happen, I usually just lock myself from everyone in my bedroom (I rarely leave home even during manic episodes due to my own fear of anything bad that could happen outside)

And I'd say it's during those manic episodes that the bad things start to happen. Ever since my early 17s I started fabricating my own life to online friends since I have extreme difficulty making friends on real life. This ranged from stuff such as me saying that I'm disabled and that's why I don't leave my house (not true, I can do it when necessary but otherwise I am able bodied) and other simple, white lies to stuff like my relationship with my family and living condition.

It was in 2021 I think it started to go downhill. I still don't think I was in the wrong for it since, again, it is a mental disorder but I decided to come ask others too since the one friend I have that knows about it thinks I might be an asshole about this in specific.

Around 2021 I started playing a specific game with gacha mechanics. To this point, the image I had painted to most online friends (with the exception of that one friend) was of a girl on her 20s with a good relationship with her mother but a bad one with both her dad and brother (a lie, as our dad left us when we were children and I have a pretty good relationship with my brother), disabled and in bad living conditions. Because of that, it had been some time (since the beginning of the lockdown) since some of these friends started sending me money whenever I said I needed it for one reason or another (usually to buy food or necessities like hygiene products) and, since I didn't need it at all, I would just end up using it on stuff I enjoy like art supplies or makeup.

The moment I started playing that game though (which none of my friends knew about since they still thought I didn't have my own computer), I started spending all of that money on the game to pull for characters. It wasn't a constant thing but it got specifically bad on 2022, when a character I really enjoy was released.

I still think it's not that bad since none of them gave me a lot of money anyways, but after what I already had was spent on the game and I didn't have any money to buy the currency, I went to the discord servers venting channel and started writing by impulse stuff like how my dad had evicted me and me alone from the house after I stood up to him and now I was living in my cramped old car on the streets with no food, clothes etc. Some of those friends got extremely worried or something like that and ended up sending me more money than usual so I could 'pay for a hotel' until I had time to get government support etc (I don't really know how that works anyways, but I said I'd try and thanked them a lot for it and said that as soon as I was safe I'd draw something for them as payback but I never did because it wasn't really like it was a commission anyways) and I spent it on the game to get the character and I did!

I had to keep the lie about being homeless and then getting government support ever since and last month me and my "real life partner" (not real but i made it up a few months before this so i just used it as a excuse that he was working to get us both a place to stay) were finally in a safe apartment. However, one of those online friends knew about my condition and started to suspect about it all and got angry at me for no reason, saying that I was stealing from my friends and being unfair on even denying that to her. After that she blocked me but I was able to lie to the server that she had threatened me and implied I was lying about it all which wasn't true because that was my real living situation.

I still don't think I am in the wrong, they all did offer it to me on their own after all and I already spent it so there's nothing I can do. Am I the asshole for lying due to a mental health condition?

What are these acronyms?

[raymantogether]

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #2 - Rabbid Edge!

Foreword:

If you haven't already played Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle or Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope, the game was published by Ubisoft exclusively for Nintendo Switch and is an action-adventure turn-based strategy game developed by Ubisoft Milan and Ubisoft Paris. Prior to the Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle reveal at E3 2017, the game surfaced online and was met with criticism and skepticism from the wider gaming community. The artwork leaked online depicted Mario and friends alongside their Rabbid counterparts with large blasters. The prospect of Mario with the Rabbids was a nightmare for a lot of people. Following the success of Rayman Raving Rabbids, the Rabbids had slowly declined in popularity. The Rabbids were annoying and boring and had lost their humor. Nintendo, who have strongly held their licenses for Mario, has rarely ever collaborated with other videogame companies. Furthermore, Nintendo has always encouraged a family-friendly and positive environment. The prospect of Mario with weapons was alien to a lot of people. Ubisoft finally revealed Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle at E3 2017; the game went on to become a huge success. Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle was released on August 29th, 2017 and went on to sell over 10 million copies in over six years. A sequel, Mario + Rabbids Sparks Of Hope, was revealed at E3 2021 and released on October 20th, 2022. Despite the game initially not exceeding Ubisoft sales expectations, the game went on to sell over three million as of January 2024. This was another remarkable success for the teams at Ubisoft Milan and Paris. Both games were well received and were critically acclaimed. 

If you haven't already, I implore you to pick up both games. The Mario + Rabbids series is personally one of the most refreshing titles from Ubisoft in a generation. The game oozes personality and charm thanks to its charismatic and energetic character design and animations. The soundtracks for both games are composed by the amazing Grant Kirkhope, who is responsible for some of the most creative music in the industry. Needn't I say more? The world design is intricate, creative, and a real pleasure to explore. I thoroughly enjoyed the heartfelt, exciting, and fun story, which gripped me from beginning to end in both stories. The development teams did a remarkable job of capturing both the look and personality from the worlds of both the Rabbids and Mario and bringing it to life. The game is gorgeous thanks to the Snowdrop Engine, which has been executed brilliantly on the Nintendo Switch. Ubisoft has somehow managed to compliment Mario with the Rabbids extraordinarily well. This is something I never imagined possible. Both games are very similar to those of the XCOM and Fire Emblem series. I love strategy games, and I have sunk hours into both titles. I found the gameplay rewarding, clever, and at times a real challenge for tacticians. There are plenty of creative options with gameplay thanks to various choices of weapons, skills, and characters. The gameplay possibilities are endless. My favorite game in the series is definitely Mario Rabbids Sparks of Hope, as it offers so much more opportunities for world-building and exploration. The game allows for more creative gameplay choices through movement and freedom of choice, including the addition of the Sparks. However, the most important reason Sparks of Hope is my favorite game in the series is because Ubisoft Milan brought back Rayman. 

At Ubisoft Forward in 2022 Ubisoft Milan Creative Director Davide Soliani revealed to the World their plan to bring back Rayman as part of the season pass for Mario Rabbids Sparks Of Hope. The third story expansion called Rayman In The Phantom Show released on August 30th 2023. The DLC stars Rayman alongside Rabbid Mario and Rabbid Peach as they are invited to the mysterious Space Opera Network by the fan favourite villain the Phantom. The Phantom who has renounced his villainy for fame needs help from Rayman and the Rabbids to help restore the poor ratings and viewings to his TV Space Station.  Rayman, Rabbid Peach And Rabbid Mario adventure across Western, Pirate and Medieval sets as part of the Phantoms ambitious plan for revenge. The team at Ubisoft did an extraordinary job of bring back Rayman to life. Rayman has never looked and felt so alive. You get a real sense that Ubisoft Milan and Ubisoft Paris love Rayman from this short but jam packed adventure. Rayman In The Phantom Show pays tribute to the Rayman series through acknowledgement of his almost 30 Year history. In every stage you can find card board references from various Rayman Games. The combat fatigues  from Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc make a spectacular return with Rayman offering plenty of gameplay variety on the battlefield. Both the vortex and rocket costumes look better then ever and are brilliant both in design and how you can use them. The weapons are crafted with plenty of attention to detail with references in design to Ly The Fairy, Teensies, Rayman Raving Rabbids and more. I particularly am fond of the plum turrets. If Nintendo ever work collaborate with Ubisoft again I would love to see Rayman in Super Smash Bros with the Plum Turrets. The soundtrack for the DLC Is composed by Grant Kirkhope and Christopher Heral. The genius Christopher Heral responsible for both soundtracks for Rayman Origins and Legends returns for Rayman In The Phantom Show. If you listen closely you can hear brilliant renditions from various games. David Gasman also reprises his role in Rayman In The Phantom Show. If you have played the earlier Rayman games you will be familiar of his work. I thoroughly enjoyed this DLC and it has left me with wanting so much more. I would love to see Ubisoft Milan work on Rayman again in the future. If you're new to the series or a Rayman fan and have liked everything you have read so far I strongly encourage you to pick up Mario Rabbids Kingdom Battle and Sparks Of Hope including the season pass. 

Interview:

To celebrate both Rayman's 29th anniversary this weekend and the anniversary of Mario + Rabbids Sparks Of Hope DLC Rayman In The Phantom Show, I am delighted to feature Anna as part of this special community spotlight.

You may know Anna as RabbidEdge from both the Rayman and the Mario Rabbids community. Anna is an extremely passionate, kind, and caring individual with a yearning to help create a positive environment in the community. Anna is renowned for her creative cosplays of Rabbid Edge, Rayman, and more. Anna enjoys creating artwork and has a passion for telling stories. I am delighted to feature and show you more about Anna in this brilliant and really insightful spotlight.

Anna has been extremely open and honest about some very serious and sensitive subjects in this spotlight about her personal health and wellbeing. I encourage you all to be polite and respectful. 

Please introduce yourself:

"Hi everyone, My name's Anna. I am 37 years old (but I've never lost my inner child) and living with my husband, our four kids, three cats, and nine chickens in a village in Austria. I am working as a pharmacist, enjoying helping people every day. Last year I started two new hobbies: cosplaying and drawing digitally. Since that, I am also sharing my creations on social media like Instagram, X, or Tumblr."

Tell us something funny or interesting about yourself?

"I have always been a very creative, extroverted, and energetic person. Even as a child, I loved to draw, invent stories or songs, and to tape-record them together with friends or to play little theater sketches for our families. Many times we dressed up as our favorite anime- or video game characters, singers, or just some elves or Vikings. I wouldn´t call it cosplay, and most costumes were just a mix of old fancy dresses and things we found in the wardrobe of our grandparents, but we always had a lot of fun, and my heart is warming with joy when I think about these times... However, things change, life happens, and so having babies, a house, and animals had kept me quite busy (but happy!) for almost 9 years. I had lost my former self somewhere between household, work, and trying the best to be a good mom. Then came Edge.."

How do you like to spend your free time?

"Free time—what's that? Haha! I don't know this, for I always have a lot on my plate! But I think, you mean the time when I am not at work or busy with mom-duties. I am spending most of these hours crafting and sewing new cosplays or improving old ones, shooting them in various sceneries, editing the photos and videos I took for my social media, doodling and drawing Rabbids-stuff, posting my finished work and stories on Instagram, X and co, replying to dms and comments or supporting other artists.

Furthermore, I am a very active person, feeling the need to exercise every day or to at least go for a walk or ride my bike. Music is also a very important part of my life! I enjoy listening to it while I am doing a workout or working on a drawing.

Music inspires me! When I look at my art or cosplay- pictures, I immediately remember the song that brought me into the mood for its creation, that I listened to during the process, or that I used in my Instagram stories for its posting. I am also singing in a choir, by the way.

There is much more I would love to do, like playing video games or reading. The only problem is that my days only have 24 hours. I used to say that I am living two lives with the time of just one."

What made you fall in love with the Mario Rabbid Series?

"To be honest, it was my oldest daughter! She has never been interested in TV shows for kids like Paw Patrol, etc. Instead, she likes to watch game streams on YouTube, and there she discovered Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope. She enjoyed watching these streams so much that she wanted to play the game herself, so she got it as a gift on St. Nicholas Day in 2022. However, it was quite challenging for her, and so my husband started to play it with our kids and me watching him. I can remember that I always did my workout on a fitness mat on the floor while he was playing, and it was quite entertaining to watch him! I was surprised by the cute designs of the characters and levels and by its unique gameplay, which is totally different from other games I had played before—and really addictive! So we often ended up playing till late at night, saying “Just one more battle!” again and again. Even if I hadn't played the game myself at the beginning, I already loved it! Oh, and then came Edge...and made my love for this game and Mario+Rabbids in general go through the roof! I couldn´t think about anything else than Edge and Rabbids the whole day long! I started to play myself, always having Edge as the leader of my team, searched for fan art and fan fiction, and slowly stumbled into the fandom. Oh, and I still play Sparks of Hope when I find time for it! I consider this game a real masterpiece! Ubisoft poured so much love into every detail! I love everything about it, from the backstory to the funny voice-lines or to the amazing soundtrack! And I enjoy the “found-family" dynamics of the hero team so much, OMG!!! With this game, Ubisoft managed to make me fall in love with Rabbids, not only with Edge but with Rabbids in general."

What is your favorite Mario Rabbids game, and who is your favorite character?

"That's quite a simple question to answer. Of course, to be honest, I haven't played Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle yet. Shame on me! I already have the game at home, but all the time I thought about starting it, I ended up playing Sparks of Hope instead. Of course I wanted to see my beloved Edge.

Furthermore, Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope will always have a special meaning for me, as it distracted me from health problems that were bothering me a lot at this time. At the beginning of December 2022, I had to wait for a medical appointment in order to check if I would suffer from cancer. I tried to not let the possibility of receiving a bad diagnosis overwhelm me—something easier said than done. So watching and playing Sparks of Hope with my family made me forget this sorrow for a moment. It cheered me up in a difficult time of my life. As I one evening found myself thinking about what I would want to do before death, if I would have just some months left to live, I realized that I wouldn't want to go on a big journey or party hard or so. Instead, I would want to spend the last moments with my family, doing what we already did every evening—sitting and playing together. This thought made me feel calm and peaceful, blessed and grateful. So Sparks of Hope became for me what its name promises: a spark of hope. With that, it will always be my favorite Mario+Rabbids game!

However, I am sure that Kingdom Battle is a great game as well! I have only heard good things about it, and I am familiar with its characters and plot. I finally need to get into it myself...

Oh, and my favorite character is- surprise, surprise—Edge! But to be honest, I like them all! No matter if it's Rabbid Peach, Bwario, Kanya, or Rayman. I couldn't pick a single character of the series that I totally couldn't stand."

What made you fall in love so much with Rabbid Edge, and what is your inspiration behind your artwork and comic series?

"I have to laugh at this question; of course I could fill a whole book with this answer! Haha! I will try to be brief. I can remember the first time I saw Edge. It was in December 2022 as I watched my husband play Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope—the well-known cutscene of her first appearance. God, just thinking about it makes me shiver in excitement! This epic scene instantly made me fall in love with her! It was as if Ubisoft had poured all the characteristics that make my heart flutter into this little rabbit! To explain this further: I am a sucker for mysterious characters, which hide a kind heart behind their badass attitude. I love mighty swords, spiky hair, sharp teeth, gothic clothes, the colors green and purple, and deep, striking voices. On top of all, give that character a dark backstory, and I am hooked! The combination of these attributes made me fall for Edge. I couldn't help it! Neither have I chosen to feel this way nor have I ever thought that it would be possible to develop true love for a fictional character! However, I thought the best thing would be to welcome these beautiful feelings and to make full use of this newfound energy. So I started to work on the art of Edge and different scenes of the game, including a comic about her tragic past and the battle against Cursa.

I also wanted to dress up as Edge for the carnival  but found out that there isn't any costume of her or Rabbids in general. This was when I decided to sew one myself. With that, my cosplay journey began. I thought that if no one has ever made a cosplay of Edge before, I had to be the one to bring her to life, even if I had no idea what I was doing. Looking at the first photos I took of her makes me smile. Some look really funny and weird, but I can remember how strong, confident, and sexy I felt in these moments. And hey, every journey has to start with a first step! Since then, I have learned a lot. I have improved my skills, bought more tools and materials, worked over my cosplay again and again, altered and exchanged parts, and developed this alter ego of Rabbid Edge for me and my social media. Still, I am quite a newbie, and there is always room for improvement!

I am so grateful that I got to know Edge; of course she made me find myself again and, at the same time, discover another me. She made me feel like more than just a mom again. She made me feel attractive and love my body again. She made me get creative and go wild and crazy. She made me play again; she made me dream again and go far beyond my imagination! And she made me get to know so many new amazing people! I owe her so much. I owe Ubisoft so much! I feel so grateful and full of love that I would want to hug everyone of my followers and of the great people that worked on Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope!

The main inspiration for my work comes from the game itself, for it provides a quite mature and exciting backstory and interesting characters but leaves room for further assumptions and interpretation. But of course official concept art, headcanons, and drawings of other fans inspire me a lot too! And sometimes a new idea comes to my mind while I am on a walk or listening to music."

If you could live in any world from the Mario Rabbids Series, where would you live?

"I would choose Melodic Gardens! I love its biome with the tropical forest, exotic flowers, and the flooded ruins. Everything looks so beautiful and mystical. Furthermore, I like the cute and peaceful Rabbids, that live here and the symphonies that fill the air of this planet. And I would love to meet Allegra! She is so cute and majestic."

Who would be at your dream Mario Rabbids Party?

"Wow, it's really hard to select three out of all the great characters, but I think I would take Edge, Rayman, and Rabbid Peach. Edge, course she's Edge, hey! Rayman, course he is my childhood hero, who—together with Super Mario—made me start to play video games, and Rabbid Peach, course she is sassy and crazy, and course I always need a healer in my party!"

What made you fall in love with the Rayman series?

"You have to know that I grew up loving Rayman! He was my childhood hero! For my ten-year-old me, Rayman was cool, Rayman was fun, and Rayman was Ubisoft.

As I was a little kid, my family had no computer or game console. My brother and I knew video games just from our cousins or neighbors. I can remember how we often bought gaming magazines and looked at them, wishing that we were able to play these games ourselves. And when there was something of Rayman in it, we went, Ah, look, Rayman, so cool!!! He somehow fascinated us. At the age of 9, we got a Game Boy for Christmas; at the age of 12, a Dreamcast. This was a dream come true for us! There was a demo disc coming with it that also had a demo of Rayman 2 on it. We immediately played and loved it! I don't know how many times we played this demo! It must have been a few hundred times or so! One day we received the full version of the game, and from this time on, Rayman accompanied us nearly every day. We played it again and again! I can remember that I even had a crush on Rayman! I loved his cool attitude, his crazy hair, and his voice. I drew him a lot, wrote songs about him, and even dressed up as him—just for fun. Later we also played the Rayman Game Boy Color Game and Rayman 3, as an adult also Rayman M, Rayman Raving Rabbids, Rayman Origins, and Rayman Legends. 

But Rayman also has a deeper meaning for my brother and me. Our childhood wasn't easy. We have experienced things that no kid, no one should ever witness. Rayman, and playing games in general, helped us to escape from reality, when there was only fear and violence waiting for us. I can remember that we had so much fun and laughed a lot despite the difficult circumstances we were raised under. Rayman and Ubisoft distracted us, were there for us, when there was no light in real life...Last year I thanked the people of Ubisoft Milan for this. I thanked them for having always been there for me for nearly all my life.

Today I am a happy and positive person. I have reached everything I ever wanted. I have learned to make the best of every situation, no matter how bad it may seem. I have learned that everything happens for a reason, even if we cannot understand it in a certain moment. This is why I am not sad or angry about the things that happened to me as a child. I am grateful; of course, all these things made me become the person I am today.

However, when I think about my tragic past, I realize that I may have more in common with Edge than I'd like. I feel connected with her. I understand her. I feel her."

What is your favorite cosplay you have designed?

"This is a difficult question. Of course, every cosplay I have made so far has aspects I like but also something I dislike, and there are various ways to rate them. I would say that the cosplays I enjoy to wear the most—or I “am feeling” the most—are definitely Edge and Kanya. When I dress up as them, I am really becoming the character! I look into the mirror and think,Yeah, baby!” But considering my craftsmanship skills, I think Barbara from Rayman Legends is my best cosplay so far. As a cosplay newbie, I am still learning and improving. Therefore, I am also working over my older cosplays again and again. I have changed Edge's wig so many times, I have stopped counting. And soon I want to do the fourth sword for her. Edge will always be my number one!

I am also happy that I managed to do a Rayman (and Ramon) cosplay! It´s for sure not perfect, and I have to work over the photos with Photoshop to remove my limbs, but dressing up as him makes my inner child scream with joy!

Furthermore, the “play" factor in “cosplay” is very important for me! I don´t just buy cosplays, put them on, take a photo, and toss them away again. I love to bring my characters to life, to think about how they would act and talk, and to cosplay them in alternative outfits and different situations, like the wedding of Edge and Midnite or my Christmas- or Easter-shooting."

What cosplays are you planning on in the future?

"I am currently working on a new project: I am creating my own protogen and therefore sewing a fursuit. It's not really cosplay; of course it won't be a certain character. I'd rather call it a fursona or OC. But I am excited to work on it; of course it is something totally different from what I have done so far, and I think it will look really cool in the end!

Despite that, I want to make a cosplay of Hiiragi Utena from the anime “Gushing over Magical Girls." I have already bought the fabric for it.

Furthermore, the idea of making a Cursa-cosplay (Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope) won't go out of my mind! I would love to create a sensual version of her true form, wearing a long cloak and her white mask, but maybe also showing some skin... Yeah, I think I will have to get this one started next...

And of course I will always work on further Edge content! I will improve parts of her cosplay, and I will think of new outfits and shootings. I already have a special scenery in mind; I want to shoot in autumn."

Tell us about your time at Ubisoft Milan.

"Last year in September I was granted to meet my beloved Edge—or better—the amazing artists and creators of Mario+Rabbids: Sparks of Hope at Ubisoft Milan. It was a dream come true for me! After enjoying their games and admiring their work for so long, I was finally able to hug them and thank them for everything they have gifted us players so far. I still can't believe how lucky I was! My visit there was a blast in every way! I was able to take a look at the “holy halls," to shake hands with all these kind people I had known only from social media or the credits of their games, and to get to know more about Edge's creation and her backstory. Furthermore, we had lunch together, took a lot of cool and funny photos, and talked about the hard work in the gaming industry, my cosplay work, but also private things. And as if this hadn´t been enough, I received many gifts, like the art book or Spark-plushies for my kids and special drawings that were made for me during my visit.

I have to admit that before my visit I had been very excited! But everyone was so nice, polite, and cute! I felt like meeting and talking to long-known friends. The fear was gone, and laughter and joy filled the air. They welcomed me so heartily, and I immediately felt comfortable among these amazing people. I am so grateful that for this unique moment I was granted to be part of their "family." I will keep the memories of my visit as an eternal treasure in my heart."

Thank you so much, Anna, for being a part of the Rayman Together community spotlight. It was amazing to read about yourself and discover more about you. If you are interested in finding out more about Anna, I have included links to her social media account below. Please follow and support her.

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Most Underrated BLs of the last 3 years

(mid year 2021 - end 2023)

This list will not include BLs that ended their run in 2024. I need some distance to know if something is actually underrated (We Are maybe?) or justifiably ignored.

1 I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan 2023 Netflix?)

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, increasingly unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life, which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review.

2 My Ride (Thai 2022 Gaga)

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever pulp to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest, and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi rider in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review.

3 Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan 2023 Gaga)

A lonely salaryman (+ talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid (and his little brother). I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the original yaoi (which is very dear to my heart). And they did! Paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

4 About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit. Full review.

5 Step By Step (Thai 2023 Gaga)

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This office romance between a stern boss and sweet subordinate felt more authentic to cubical work than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. That authenticity added tension to the narrative and its characters development (how novel). I also really enjoyed the charming side characters and the brothers' relationship to each other (although I could have done without that brother's side BL). Full review.

6 DNA Says Love You (Taiwan 2022 Gaga)

DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming. Full review.

7 Unintentional Love Story (Korea 2023 iQIYI)

Of all the BLs on this list, this is probubly the MOST underrated. OMG the plot! Uke forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the PAIN in those gorgeous eyes. Gah. Okay, so: A boy loses his job due to trumped-up corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back, if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Full review.

8 Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul (Thai 2022 iQIYI)

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than its ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL. It’s set up well, there’s no surprise unpleasantness like HIStory 3: The BL that shall not be named. Full review.

9 Destiny Seeker (Thai 2023 WeTV)

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and excellent communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. (Also WAR PEANUTS!) Full review.

10 Make a Wish (Thai 2023 grey)

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and made of swagger. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It has sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

10 others I rarely see anyone talk about:

Triage - Many would put this at the top of the list, but I don't find it very rewatchable and that weighs a lot in my assessments. Still it is GOOD and very underrated. BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for doctor! Unfortunately… stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikeable, as required). My reason it's not in the top 10? If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show it's just time loop is not a trope I personally enjoy. Review here.

See You After Quarantine? - This under appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charmg and adorable yet still as quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. Honestly how does Taiwan do it?

The Tasty Florida - I don't know, maybe it's Speed nostalgia, but I love this one, classic Korean BL with all those strengths and flaws... but The Prettiest.

You Make Me Dance - it's Korea but somehow they got this one, maybe by featuring mature characters and a real world crisis? Also they both ve hot.

Blueming - at the time it got a lot of attention but it seems to have faded into obscurity under the shod of The 8th Sense and Love of Love's Sack. This was a precurser to both and well worth a watch if you like it when Korea gets a little gritty.

Love Stage!! (Thai version) - I liked this IP alerady more than most. But this is the best of the 4 adaptations, and the first full Thai version of Japanese IP. It's both charming and notable in the industry. Hard to find and that's why it gets so little creddit but I think it's well worth the effort to track down.

Oh! Boarding House - I think most who watched this din't jive with it because it's an ensamble piece witha wicked love traingle. But I really enjoyed it. It felt like the move Kdrama BL that Korea has given us and I like me some Kdramas.

What Zabb Man! - one of the better BLs to come out of Star Hunter in the last few years. I like this pair a lot more than most, and the sides are wicked great. This is probably one of my favorite food themed BLs, actually.

2 Moons The Ambassador - possibly the lowest scoring BL to appear on this list but I just really like the leads. Nothing else is good, but they are kinda awkwardly fantastic. I also like how gay af the seme is.

Stay By My Side - This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Despite a strong initial premise it ended up mostly being enjoyable for sappy domesticity but nothing more. Still, I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity.

Requested by the lovely @l1xyz

FYI: I judge “underrated” on the strength of what I see people talk about (or more precisely not talk about) on social media, MDL reviews, and YouTube watch numbers (when available, as compared to comparable shows from the same country). 

Because of this, statistically, there will always be quite a few BLs that are difficult to get hold of.

Here's my pulls of the Top Underrated BLs prior to 2021. Considering the amount of content generated over the last few years, the pool to draw from is likely about the same.

My Top 10 Most Underrated BLs prior to 2021

Seven Days

Restart after Come Back Home

Wish You

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding

He’s Coming to Me

Oxygen

My Day

Most Peaceful Place

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

HIStory: Obsessed

I'd throw Great Men Academy in there, but I always dither over whether it actually is a BL.

[xiaoaetherposts]

All Lantern Rite event, but it's XiaoTher

Summary of Xiao x Aether content in every Lantern Rite event so far.

Lantern Rite 1.3 event (2021):

☆ Aether helped Xiao perform various tasks.

☆ Aether visited Xiao in Wangshu Inn.

Aether: "You wouldn't go to the festival, so we brought the festival to you."

Xiao: "Does is serve any grander purpose?"

Aether: "This way you can take part in Lantern Rite."

☆ Aether prepared a dinner for Xiao and helped organize a small Lantern Rite celebration at Wangshu Inn.

☆ Xiao accompanied Aether to Liyue Harbor.

Aether: "O Vigilant Yaksha, please escort us safely to the city."

Xiao: "So be it. I shall accept your proposal."

Xiao: (...) Speak my name. Anywhere. Anytime."

☆ Xiao watched the lanterns and smiled.

I know, it sounds like two characters dating. It was like that. Sometimes even I'm surprised how canonically the Xiao x Traveler ship is treated by HoYo.

Lantern Rite 2.4 event (2022):

☆ Xiao invited Aether to Wangshu Inn.

Xiao: "When this matter is resolved, come to Wangshu Inn. In previous years, the Mingxiao Lantern has been visible even from there."

☆ Aether visited Xiao and bring him food and other presents.

☆ Xiao said Aether that:

Xiao: "If anyone wishes to see me, I know they'll come and find me"

implying that he would like Aether to do this.

☆ Xiao watched the lanterns smiling again.

What was especially cute was that when Aether arrived at Wangshu Inn, Xiao right away went up to him without Aether's calling and asked if he could help.

This happened at the first meeting and even during the Waterborne Poetry event, but it's rare when Xiao takes the initiative.

Lantern Rite 3.4 event (2023):

☆ Xiao saved Aether from the water and was very worried about him.🥹

*Someone carries you ashore, so quickly that you don't catch who it is...*

Xiao: "Glad you're okay."

Xiao: "...Your actions here caused caused others a great deal of worry. Do not repeat them again in the future."

☆ Xiao finally went to the Lantern Rite festival in Liyue Harbor because of Aether.

Xiao: "She told me that all the guests today would be "acquainted with elemental power." and I knew that you would be here."

☆ Xiao sat down next to Aether at the dinner table and then escorted him out.

Aether: "I ate too much. Could you come take a walk with me?"

Xiao: "Sure."

☆ Xiao and Aether talked lovingly in private:

Xiao: "Whenever I think of the ordinary conversations I've had with you, it feels... strangely novel."

Aether: "Strange in a good way?"

Xiao: "Yes." *little smile*

☆ Xiao chose Aether to be "the most distinguished guest." (so that even Zhongli was there, whom he deeply respects)

Everyone: "Who is the most distinguished guest here?"

Xiao: "One person here is well-acquainted with everyone else."

Aether: "(...Hm?)"

☆ Zhongli approved Xiao and Aether's relationship and gave advice to Xiao.

Zhongli: "Just as Xiao may seem unapproachable to most, but Aether has proved otherwise."

Xiao: "Rex La- I mean, Zhongli, what you're saying is..."

Zhongli: "Haha I meant what I said."

Xiao: "General Kapasis always said that we should live in the present and enjoy every little pleasant surprise. Perhaps that's what I should do with what I'm feeling now."

Zhongli: "It looks like you understood what I meant."

Xiao to Aether: "I appreciate your kindness. See you next time, then."⬇️

☆ Xiao and Aether finally watched the lanterns together.😍

Lantern Rite 4.4 event:

☆ Zhongli took Aether on purpose to the place where he knew Xiao was and wanted them stay together alone and fly a kite together.🪁

"Uh, why did you have us walk all this way?"

Zhongli: "I'll leave these two kites with you. Perhaps you can find a few friends with which you partake in the activity. You might find it to be enjoyable use of your time."

Flustered Xiao: "Oh, uh... Wait, who enjoy kite-flying?"

Zhongli: "Well, I would imagine some of your talent and wisdom is more the capable of finding out."

Xiao: Aether, when the Lantern Rite is over, come find me near Pervases' temple if you have the time.

Aether: "Absolutely."

Xiao: "Mmm." 😊

Zhongli: *plan succeed*

☆ Xiao invited Aether to visit him at the usual place and they released together the lantern that Xiao made.

Xiao: "Aether."

Aether: "It's just as I thought... You stopped short of stepping into the city again."

Xiao: "Being in the city isn't the only way for me to appreciate the lights and beauty of Lantern Rite. Look... Liyue Harbor lies just beyond this mountain."

Xiao: "As long as I stand at this vantage point, I may freely behold the sight of all the kites slowly ascending into the sky. ...For me, that is enough."

Aether: "Alright."

Xiao: "I invited you here because there is something I would like to do. I want to release a Xiao Lantern, and... I'd like you to be there for it."

Aether: "Did you make it yourself?"

Xiao: "Yes. I apologize for its crude appearance... I have little skill in that regard."

Aether: "No, no! It's amazing!"

Xiao: "...You're very kind, as usual."

Xiao: "Alright, it's time."

*they release the lantern together*

☆ With a nice metaphorical expression that Xiao said, it was hinted that Aether is the one who brings peace to Xiao.

Xiao symbolizes the lantern itself (to which the name Xiao Lantern refers), and Aether is the sky (his name means this in all languages).

Xiao: "Although, watching a kite gradually ascend into the sky does bring me a certain peace of mind. ...Perhaps they are a bit like Xiao Lanterns in that way."

This expresses Xiao's longing for Aether, which is also indicated by his idle animation (when he tries to reach the little light that goes towards the sky with his hand).

When he asks Aether to release the lantern into the sky together to bring the two things closer together symbolizes this beautifully.

Aether: "As the Xiao Lantern slowly disappears into the tranquil night sky, Xiao's expression softens."

Xiao: "... Aether. ... Thank you."

So as the Xiao lantern approaches the sky in a symbolic sense, as Xiao approaches Aether (which is referred to by the meaning of their names), as they have become closer and closer to each other over the years, and this has brought him calm and peace.

Twitter(X): @xiaoaetherposts

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[coimbrabertone]

Who is the Ferrari of the Motorcycle World?

A bit of a short blogpost this week since this is that time in my writing schedule where I've just posted a chapter of Fastest of the Prancing Horses, have to post this month's chapter of Racing in the Golden Age, and then back to Fastest of the Prancing Horses for that story's biweekly uploads. Self-imposed fanfic upload schedules aside, let's talk motorcycles.

Who is the Ferrari of motorcycles?

Ducati comes to mind first, being Italian and red and heavily associated with racing. The fact that when Ducati entered MotoGP in 2003, it had a very Ferrari like set of sponsors didn't hurt either. Marlboro and Shell at first, then Telecom Italia's Alice brand got involved in the late 2000s, and after diverging a bit in the early 2010s - when Ducati had a sponsorship with Mercedes-AMG of all people - they both wound up with Philip Morris' Mission Winnow as a sponsor.

And around the same time as Mission Winnow, both gained Lenovo sponsorships. Ferrari's Lenovo deal seemed to only last for 2018 and 2019 and has recently been replaced by a title sponsorship from HP, whilst the ties between Ducati and Lenovo have only grown stronger, becoming a title sponsorship from 2021 onwards.

So, the sponsorship is very similar, but it's not the same.

Plus, there's now a pretty big stumbling block to the whole Ducati = Ferrari thing.

That being that Ducati is owned by Lamborghini. Yup, in 2012, Ducati was acquired by Audi - which itself is part of the Volkswagen Group - and Ducati was placed under the control of Lamborghini. So, in a funny little shell game, Ducati was owned by Lamborghini who was owned by Audi who was owned by Volkswagen.

So yes, Ducati may have the superficial resemblance to Ferrari, but being owned by Ferrari's greatest rival kinda breaks the whole comparison.

Another thing that doesn't help is that Ducati's Grand Prix racing history is rather recent. Sure, their history with superbikes and the Isle of Man TT, with famous riders like Mike Hailwood and Carl Fogarty, but they did not have that MotoGP pedigree until 2003 onwards. Even then, Ducati only had a single 2007 championship until their recent (2022-present) success.

So, how about someone who does have GP pedigree?

MV Agusta.

The massive amount of success that MV Agusta had with the likes of John Surtees, Guy Hawking, Mike Hailwood, the great Giacomo Agostini, and Phil Reed gave MV a stranglehold over the 500cc class from 1958 to 1974, a level of domination that Ferrari could only dream of.

The problem is that, since then, MV Agusta hasn't really had the money to race.

They've tried a couple of times, with various Superbike and Supersport efforts, most prominently with Reparto Corse who is still in WSSP, as well as a brief partnership with Forward Racing in Moto2 between 2019 and 2022. None of this compares to MV Agusta's past greatness, and none of it is really comparable to Ferrari either.

That being said, on the road bike side, I think MV Agusta matches Ferrari in terms of being these rare, expensive, incredibly desirable things. Ducati is no slouch either in that regard, but, come on, just look at a MV Agusta F4 or Superveloce and tell me those aren't some of the most beautiful motorcycles ever made.

So MV Agusta and Ducati both meet some criteria, but both fail at some others.

So here is another contender: Aprilia.

Now, Aprilia's racing history started rather recently, but they've done a lot in that time - their 125cc and 250cc bikes dominated the lower classes of GP racing in the 90s and 2000s, with riders like Max Biaggi, Valentino Rossi, Loris Capirossi, Marco Melandri, Alvaro Bautista, Jorge Lorenzo, and Marc Marquez all taking championships on board their bikes and then going on to have massively successful careers.

Even once the two-stroke success dried up, Aprilia took the fight to World Superbikes, winning the 2010 and 2012 titles with Max Biaggi and then the 2014 title with Sylvain Guintoli. The likes of Eugene Laverty and Marco Melandri also took wins on the Aprilia WSBK bikes at this time.

Their factory team efforts ceased in 2015, but that was because Aprilia was entering MotoGP.

First with Gresini, Aprilia began a long preparation period, but come 2022, Aprilia was ready. Gresini went its own way as a Ducati satellite team, while Aprilia entered a full factory effort with Aleix Espargaro and Maverick Vinales.

Aleix would win in the third race of the season at Argentina and finish fourth in the standings while Maverick took three podiums and an eleventh place finish.

In 2023, Aleix would win at Britain and then sweep the weekend at Catalunya to finish sixth in the standings, while Maverick Vinales was just behind him in seventh. That Catalunya race would also mark Aprilia's first 1-2 finish.

2024 wasn't as strong, but Maverick Vinales still swept the weekend at COTA on his way to a seventh-place championship finish, whilst Aleix Espargaro won the sprint race at Catalunya for the second year in a row, a fine feather in the cap for his retirement year, even if he did slip to eleventh in the standings in the process.

Now, with Marco Bezzecchi and Jorge Martin as their riders - and Jorge having the option to put the #1 plate on the Aprilia if he so chooses - Aprilia is certainly on the way up in MotoGP.

Oh, and the team is run by former Ferrari man Massimo Rivola.

If that's still not enough to convince you, then let me take you back to the 90s when, for a brief period of time, it seemed like the Piaggio Group (Aprilia's parent company) and Fiat (then Ferrari's parent company) were on the verge of a merger.

Giovannino Agnelli - the nephew of Fiat supremo GIanni Agnelli and the son of Antonella Becchi Luserna Piaggio, the adopted daughter of Enrico Piaggio - became President of Piaggio in 1993. In 1995, Gianni Agnelli officially named Giovannino his successor...only for Giovannino to pass away from cancer in December 1997.

Gianni Angelli would die in January 2003, with the Ferrari F2003-GA named in his honor.

Had Giovannino not predeceased his grandfather, Aprilia and Ferrari could well now be sister companies.

Another side effect of the whole Piaggio ownership thing is that Aprilia's sister companies include Moto Guzzi, Gilera, and Derbi, and those brands certainly fill out Aprilia's racing history.

Gilera was the first giant of 500cc motorcycle racing, winning six titles between 1950 and 1957. while Moto Guzzi wasn't quite as successful with its 500cc V8, it did win the very first 250cc championship in 1949, as well as five consecutive 350cc titles from 1953 to 1957.

As for Derbi, it had a ton of success in 50cc and 125cc GP racing with Angel Nieto in the 70s, and then later on during the golden age of two-stroke Aprilias, Aprilia had some of their bikes badged as a Gilera or as a Derbi.

Marco Simoncelli won the 2008 250cc title on a Gilera whilst Marc Marquez's aforementioned 2010 125cc title was on a Derbi.

So, when you put it like that, Aprilia does have a pretty consistent history in GP racing after all, huh?

Well, if none of those convinced you, there's a surprise fourth candidate, because the rumor mill is that, with KTM's financial difficulties, Lewis Hamilton is in talks to invest in the KTM MotoGP team. So, there is a possibility that we'll see a MotoGP team owned by a Ferrari Formula One driver in the near future.

Yup, after all these Italian companies, the Ferrari of MotoGP might end up being the road racing arm of an Austrian dirt bike company.

We live in strange times.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Hey are there any chances of us getting thk special episode like idk how this works coz this is my first series I'm watching when it's ongoing so are there any gmmtv series which have special episode towards the end and if yes do they tell us before hand or is there a special announcement??

If you are asking whether THK has a special episode post finale/EP12 akin to an epilogue of a sort…then the answer is highly unlikely.

However, if we are lucky, we may get a situation like GMMTV “Our Skyy” project. So, since this is your first series of GMMTV - Our Skyy is a compilation of episodes from their previous BL projects - so far, they had 2 seasons of it. Now, I’ve only watched Our Skyy 2, which basically showed an epilogue/continuation of what happened post-finale for their popular GMMTV series.

The series included for Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go, Star in My Mind, The Eclipse (featuring our own FirstKhaotung!!!), Vice Versa, My School President, A Boss and a Babe, Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars (all of them had 2 episodes per series!)

Essentially all their popular BL line up from 2021-2022

Our Skyy 1 features BL series pre 2020 (main cast featuring the OGs of GMMTV including TayNew, OffGun, KristSingto)

And if we are talking about THK potentially being in “Our Skyy 3”, then I’ll predict we will only know it at the end of this year, when GMMTV do their usual annual conference announcement of what to expect for 2026…

Admittedly, some series did get a season 2 (like 2gether - featuring BrightWin that led to Still 2gether and 2gether The Movie) or Friend Zone 1 and 2. Plus we now know Only Friends (aired in 2023) will have season 2 - but this will feature new cast members with the original actors only appearing as cameo/side characters.

My School President also had a special episode called: Super Special Episode (no seriously, that’s what it’s called 😂) - but this is rare. And I suspect GMMTV did it as once off deal, cause firstly, Gem4th are like the princes of GMMTV 😅…their clout and Thai fanbase cannot be disputed (and also the amount of sponsors these youngsters pull - got to give it to them! 🫡)

However, I just can’t see THK having season 2 - what are they going to show in it? Bison and Fadel playing househusbands as retired hitmen? Bison will burn the kitchen down…