#raphael centric

[awildaspenappeared]

Day 4 of @traumas-tmntober-2024 Desperation

When in Doubt, Hug a Mikey

Raph didn't understand Donnie and as the oldest, his little brother's not functioning is his failure. Raph can't handle failure so he lashes out. It's not a recipe to repeat.

OR

ROTT kids (9, 8, 8, and 7) don't yet quite grasp Donnie's autism and Raph ends up shouting at him at the worst time possible and he runs off. Raph then has to navigate the sewers as guilt weighs over him to find his brothers.

Word Count: 1614

Raph was fine, he thought, his tail scratching against the concrete, his teeth chattering nervously when they didn't catch his lip. He didn't like being alone and it was just dangerous to leave Mikey behind as he searched for the twins. Mike was tucked in his shell and dozing in Raph's arms, squished as close as plastron on plastron could get.

His breath fogged in a thick cloud. The cold of the sewers seeped into his bones and the walls surrounding him seemed like they were closing in. Every echo only cemented just how lost he was. Even the scratching of Raph's scales on Mikey's carapace as he rubbed it to keep his baby brother warm sounded ominous and unfamiliar.

The guilt gnawed at him. He could still hear his own voice from hours ago, cutting through the air like a blade.

Thoughts flooded him from just before sundown where Donnie had refused to come and eat the food Dad had left out. Raph had taken it upon himself to make Don come and eat his food. He hadn't known how bad of a day he was already having and had only made it worse.

Donnie had sat hunched in the corner, hands pressed tightly over his ears, his glasses discarded and broken on the floor. He had retreated into his shell—both figuratively and, to some extent, literally. His breath was ragged, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him.

Raph paced in front of him, his fists clenched at his sides. His voice was already raised, trembling with frustration and hurt.

"Donnie, stop acting like this! You think ignoring us is gonna make anything better? You think hiding away is the answer?" Raph’s tail thumped against the ground with every step, a physical manifestation of his barely controlled rage.

Donnie didn’t respond. He only tightened his grip over his ears, shutting everything out, his eyes squeezed shut as if trying to block out the world.

Before Raph could shout again, Leo stepped in, his hand on Raph’s shoulder.

“Raph,” Leo said quietly, his voice calm but firm. "That’s enough."

Raph jerked away from Leo’s touch, turning on him with blazing eyes. "Stay out of this, Leo. You don’t get it!"

"I do get it," Leo replied, his voice unwavering, but there was a softness in his little brother's eyes. "You're angry because you're scared. You're scared for him. But yelling at him isn’t going to help."

Raph’s chest heaved, his fists still clenched at his sides, trembling with the effort of holding back. "You don’t know how hard it is, Leo! Donnie won’t listen, he won’t talk to us, and I—" His voice broke for a second, raw emotion spilling through the cracks. "I don’t know how to help him."

Leo’s gaze softened further. "I know you’re trying, Raph. We all are. But this isn’t about you. Donnie’s not shutting us out because he wants to hurt you."

"I know that!" Raph snapped, but it sounded hollow, almost like he was trying to convince himself. "But what am I supposed to do? Just not help him? He won't eat, Leo!"

Leo took a step closer, his voice dropping to something more understanding. "You don’t have to do nothin’. You just have to stop trying to fix everything with your fists and anger." He glanced at Donnie, who was still curled up, barely holding himself together. "Right now, he needs us to just be there. Not to force him to do anything."

Raph growled in frustration, running a hand over his face. "Really? That’s your answer? That’s all you’ve got?" He turned away, pacing again, his anger bubbling up, but now it was directed inward as much as outward. "I’m supposed to just sit back and let him fall apart?"

Leo’s voice remained calm, but there was an edge to it now. "Raph, he’s already struggling. You can’t fight that for him. It can't be yelled at or beaten up. What you can do is be there when he’s ready."

Raph stopped in his tracks, his shoulders tense. His eyes flicked to Donnie, then back to Leo. His voice came out low, dangerous. "You think I haven’t tried that? I’m always there. But every time I reach out, he pulls away. He acts like he doesn’t need us. Like he doesn’t need me."

Leo's expression shifted slightly, a hint of sympathy deepening in his eyes. He understood now what Raph wasn’t saying directly. This wasn’t just about Donnie shutting down. It was about Raph feeling helpless, useless even, in the face of something he couldn’t control or fix.

"You’re not the problem, Raph," Leo said gently, "And you’re not useless. Donnie’s always done stuff we don’t fully understand. But pushing him harder only makes him withdraw more. Remember?"

Raph opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, biting down on his lip, his snaggletooth almost cutting in. His eyes flicked again to Donnie, who still hadn’t moved. The sight of his brother, so small and broken, made something twist painfully in his chest. He was scared. t

Terrified, even. And he hated how small he felt even when he was the biggest and strongest. But the more he pushed, the more it felt like Donnie was slipping away.

Leo watched him, his voice softening even further. "We can’t force him to open up, Raph. He’ll.. snap out of it when he’s ready. But right now, you need to give him space. We're practically smothering him with togetherness right now." He joked poorly.

Raph’s breath hitched, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "What if he doesn’t come back? What if we lose him?"

Leo’s face softened but he remained calm. "We won’t lose him. We just have to trust him to find his way through this, and be there when he does."

Raph looked at Leo, his eyes searching for some kind of answer, something that would make all of this make sense. But there wasn’t anything, only the uncertainty that came with watching someone you love struggle, knowing you couldn’t fight the battle for them. Couldn't shield them: take the punches. Just forced to wait.

Before Raph could say anything more, there was a sudden movement from Donnie. He stood up abruptly, his hands still covering his ears, his eyes wide and unfocused. Without warning, he bolted toward the door, stumbling in his panic, barely able to see without his glasses.

"Donnie, wait!" Raph shouted, his heart leaping into his throat. But Donnie was already gone, the door slamming behind him.

Leo reacted immediately, sprinting after Donnie without hesitation. "Raph, stay with Mikey! I’ll find him!"

But Raph stood frozen for a moment, his heart racing, his mind spinning with guilt, fear, and frustration. His anger at Leo, at Donnie, at himself, all felt meaningless now.

When he finally scooped up Mikey, the weight of everything felt like it was crushing him. He had let his temper get the best of him, again. And Donnie was gone.

Now, as the slow hours of night stretched into dawn, Raph trudged through the sewers, his limbs heavy with fatigue and guilt. Every shadow felt like it could be Donnie or Leo, but they weren’t. He had been searching for what felt like an eternity.

The cold seeped into his bones, each breath a reminder of how long they’d been gone. He could only hope Leo had found Donnie by now, that maybe they were huddled up somewhere safe. But there was no sign. Only the occasional plip of water and his own heartbeat drumming in his ears.

He stopped to catch his breath, shifting Mikey slightly so he wasn’t as squished. He stared down the tunnel, difficult even with his enhanced vision.

“I’m sorry, Donnie,” Raph whispered, though no one could hear him. The weight of his own words felt like they might crush him. He hadn’t meant any of it. He was just scared. He didn’t know how to fix things. Donnie's the one who fixed things! For the most part.

Suddenly, a sound – a faint shuffle in the distance, barely audible over the drip of the sewers. Raph’s heart skipped a beat.

“Mikey,” he said, more to steady himself than to wake his brother, “I think we’re close.”

He trudged forward, muscles tense, his grip on Mikey’s shell tightening. He strained his ears, listening for any sign of life. It was hard to tell in the dark, but the movement grew louder, the sound of feet scuffling through water.

"Leo? Donnie?" His voice came out rough, desperate. He waited, holding his breath.

Then, a shadow appeared, moving toward him.

"Raph?" It was Leo’s voice, weary but unmistakable. Relief washed over him like a wave.

"Leo!" Raph’s legs moved on their own, carrying him toward the shadow. As he got closer, he could see Leo, soaked, exhausted, but standing upright. His face was a mask of determination, but beneath it, there was relief too.

And there, behind Leo, was Donnie, eyes red, trembling, but alive.

Raph nearly collapsed, his chest heaving with emotion. He wanted to say something, to apologise, but all that came out was a choked sob.

Leo was the first to speak, his voice soft. "We found him, Raph. He’s okay. Let’s all go home." His grin was clear even in the near pitch black tunnel. “Before Dad notices it's been too quiet.”

Donnie had given up fighting and in fact let Raph hold him gently, Leo now holding the still asleep Mikey. The blubbering was just starting to quiet down when Leo quipped. “What are you crying for? You know I always find my twin.”

Hiiii!! Thanks for reading this.

Today's prompt was difficult because I had so many half baked idead and couldn't commit to any one. I decided to do another Rise fic too even though most of the ideas ended up with 2012 like the desperation felt in the early s3 or with Mikey in Into Dimension X.

I decided I'd written a lot of hard hitting angst lately and wrote something eadier to figest with a much fluffier ending and giving Raph his much needed spotlight. He's underrated by the community!!!

I'd love comments both good and critical of my work. I struggle with dialogue and making the turtles sound the ages I've decided so any help on that front would be greatly appreciated!! Toodles!

[unreadpoppy]

down by the river - Chapter 11

Raphael x Warlock!Tav

Read on AO3

chapter 10

A/N: Heeeey, it's been a long time. University has been a mess, so i was very tired but I found some strenght to update this. Chapter is on the shorter side because I wanted to save the raphael interaction for it's own chapter instead of being crammed into this. Hope y'all like it.

The party did not get a moment of reprieve when they arrived in Rivington. Instead, they found themselves investigating a murder. 

After speaking with the corpse of Father Lorcan and Brilgor, they went to the murder scene, where they found the murder weapon and a strange key. Tav decided that was enough evidence and so, led the group to Detective Valeria, who found herself in Sharess Caress. 

Upon entering the brothel, Tav spoke with the owner, Mamzell Amira. She told of what the establishment had to offer, but none of the options presented seemed interesting, until she said “But we are blessed to have a devil in residence at the moment - a temporary guest, but he asked that I send any potential clients his way. Everyone who’s visited looks quite changed by the experience.” 

“Oh, really?” Tav asked, crossing her arms, a brow raised. Of course, there were other devils besides her patron, but she had a distinct feeling that somehow, Raphael would be involved. “And how is he like?” 

“Exceedingly handsome, with a voice that could make the foulest blasphemy seem the sweetest hymn.” 

“Quite the poet you are.” Tav murmured before asking “Did this devil give you a name?” 

“Indeed he did - Raphael.” Mamzell replied. “You can find him upstairs, in the Devil’s Den.” 

“Thank you.” She turned around, making a motion to leave, before remembering something. “Actually, you mentioned he would be here temporarily, yes? Did he specify how long he would stick around?” 

“Hum…now that you’ve mentioned it, he did say he was waiting for one specific client, and would leave upon their arrival. Tav, I believe, he said was their name.” 

“Ah, wonderful.” She gave Mamzel a tight smile. “Thank you again. I’ll take my leave.” 

The group then headed upstairs, finding Detective Valeria, informing her of the crimes. She dismissed them at first, and then told them to go the lower city and find a Flaming Fist that was handling the case. Once they were done, Tav quickly made her way towards the exit. 

“What are you doing?” Astarion asked, once they were outside. 

“Leaving?” 

He rolled his eyes. “I mean, that woman told you that Raphael was waiting for you. Aren’t you going to pay him a visit?”

“No.” She shurgged. “At least, not right now.”

“Why? He’s your patron, aren’t you supposed to answer him?” Astarion was flabbergasted towards the warlock’s dismissive attitude. 

She just smirked and told him “For all the trouble he has caused, Raphael won’t die if he waits a bit longer. Besides, she said he would stay there until I spoke with him.” Tav turned around, clapping her hands together. “Now, let us go. We have a murder to solve.” 

…

It would take them quite a while to come back to Sharess Caress. In fact, after Orin was killed, Tav had all but forgotten about Raphael. During that time, the party took to resolving some of their personal troubles: Finding Shadowheart’s parents and ending Cazador’s undead life for good. Most recently, they helped Dame Aylin fight against the wizard Loroakkan, and upon doing so, discovered the Annals of Karsus. 

Upon turning a few pages, Gale looked up, perplexed. “This is no mere journal. It contains the original plans Karsus had for the crown. His designs for godhood.” He went on to explain how the crown and the Netherstones used to be attached, which got separated during the sundering. “If we can collect the crown’s setting and the stones, and with the correct invocation of certain spells and gestures detailed here….I could reforge it.” He finished excitedly. 

Tav crossed her arms, frowning. “So, this crown could give you the power of a god?” 

“Potentially.” He closed the book. “Just think of it. Divine powers, finally on the hands of a mortal. We’d be free of doctrine and dogma, confined only by the limits of our imaginations.” 

“This is all very nice but…I don’t believe this is a good idea, Gale.” Tav took a deep breath. “I mean, Karsus died and his empire, the weave, hells, even Mystra fell with him.” 

“Do you think I haven’t considered that? I have no intention of repeating his folly.” 

“But you can’t guarantee that, can you? Besides, you’d be challenging the gods themselves.” 

His brows furrowed in a mix of anger and frustration, though Tav couldn’t tell who it was directed at. “Perhaps the gods deserve to be challenged. Perhaps you and I deserve to live and die as more than their pawns.” The wizard looked down. 

Tav sighed and took a step forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I understand what you mean, Gale. But the crown possesses a power that shouldnt belong to us mortals, maybe not even anyone. We have too much on the line to risk it all like that.”

She tried not to make her words sound hard but she noticed the wince Gale made.  “I know I am asking too much of you.” He sighed, looking up at her. “The risk with taking a leap of faith is that you don’t always stick the landing.” Gale took a step back. “Perhaps I got carried away with the idea of the Crown. That it could give back what Mystra took. Cure me, even.” 

Tav’s gaze softened. “We’ll think of something else, I promise. I’m sure there’s an answer out there, somewhere - it just isn’t the crown.” 

He gave her a small, tired smile. “Alright. I’ll try my utmost to share in your optimism. A little hope won’t hurt, after all.” 

…

Of course, the topic of the crown was brought up again, just a few days later, when Gale spoke with Mystra. 

His old teacher, the legendary wizard Elminster, had found them, telling Gale to go to the Stormshore Tabernacle, as Mystra had opened a portal to speak with him. 

And speak to her the wizard did. He explained how Mystra wanted the crown, how he had part of the Karsite weave with him and once again, said that he could use the crown to become a god himself. 

Before an argument could break out between the two, as Tav once again turned down Gale’s ideas, she made her way to the Elfsong tavern, finding a familiar face amongst the crowd. 

“Korrilla.” She approached the dwarf. “Taking a break from the usual spying job?” As they were both warlocks to Raphael, Tav was well aware of what sorts of missions Korrilla would be sent to. No wonder that, once or twice in their adventure, she swore she saw the dwarf somewhere in the distance. 

Korrilla downed the rest of her drink before addressing her. “Tav. Just the person I wanted to see.”

She raised a brow. “Really?” 

“No.” There was a slight tone of hostility there. “But I have to keep up appearances.” The two of them always had an uneasy relationship, as Tav always had a feeling that Korrilla was jealous. 

“What are you doing here?” Tav crossed her arms. 

“Raphael’s patience is getting thin.” 

“Why?” 

“Did you miss his invitation? He’s waiting for you in Sharess Caress.” 

Tav frowned for a moment and then she remembered. She had fully forgotten about Raphael, due to the events of the past weeks. 

She sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. “Fucking hells.” She looked to Korrilla. “Do you know what he wants with me?” 

“He wants to help you save the world. What else?” She couldn't tell if there was more that the dwarf wasn’t saying. “I’d go there right now if I were you. Devils are patient but even Raphael has limits.” 

Fuck. For Korrila to be saying that, then it would be best for her to hurry up, but none of her companions were there. By the time she’d find someone and bring them back to Sharess, Raphael could leave. 

Reaching into the pocket of her pants and held out a soul coin. “You can have this if you find my companions and tell them where I’m headed.” 

“I don’t take orders from you…but I would be foolish to deny it.” She took the coin, just as Tav nodded her head and ran outside. 

[raphieeee]

Raph has a name for each of his brothers.

For Leo it’s ‘Stars’. He notes the irony of having the only one with a star sign related name be nicknamed ‘Stars’ but that wasn’t where it started. For him it was because of how bright and numerous they are. Leo shines, there is no doubt about that, but he does so in hundreds of ways that leave all of them awed. He’s charming and funny but also devoted and respectable. Just like stars, he is easy to see most of the time and the times you can’t is when it’s cloudy or you are too deep in a city and polluted by smog and artificial light. But he’s still there, a glittering spectacle in the night, sometimes hidden away but you always know he’s there.

For Donnie he’s ‘Moons’. He’s beautiful and smart, able to make waves with his infections and thinking. He has a pull to him that entices you, makes you want to lean in and learn more yet you can never get close enough, feel and see as he does. He orbits worlds and takes in every detail, a million miles away yet more in touch with the fabrics of earth than any other. You can’t touch him and sometimes he isn’t entirely there, lost to his own mind, but he always comes back, brighter than ever.

For Mikey it’s ‘Sun’. There are obvious implications, Mikey is bright and fills every space he enters with warmth and colour. But it’s more than that, he also shines a light on truth. He shows people who they really are, helps them understand and see the things people wish to ignore, good and bad. He’s beautiful, kind and sweet and worthy of the presence he demands. But he’s also dangerous. His warmth can turn to burning when needed, his unsuspecting observation helps him to know when and where to strike, both to win a fight and heal hurt.

Raph has no name for himself, but he figures in his little metaphor he would be the earth. Witness to all three of them, there to admire and watch them grow and learn every day. He’s happy with that, it’s all he could ever want and need. After, what is an earth without its Sun, Moon and stars? With is a Raph without his family?

[ghostplasmas]

For @somerandomdudelmao 's Cass apocalypse au!!!! I love the idea of Raph being Casey's dad before Leo took over parenting. Raph deserves to be a big soft dad.

[cokowiii]

GUESS WHO FIGURED OUT A NAME BAHJAHAHA HAHA HAHA

[legendweaver]

March for Raph day 19:

The others go missing

"Your brothers are gone now. You are all alone"

"My...attention is now reserved for you alone"

Woof, was hard finishing this "in time" this is very late but I still wanted to finish it. Ended up learning a whole new program for it, so the learning curve was rough.

This entry is based off an AU of mine, partly inspired by Rise, set in the 2012 universe where, post series end, Shredder comes back as a ghost/demon, and Raphael ends up sacrificing himself to seal him away, to his brothers despair.

Five years pass, but for Raphael and Shredder, mental and soul-wise, it's been 50. And when they're finally released, Raphael is no longer himself.

[that-gay-gal]

If I can’t be happy… neither can Raph

… Joking!!! …Mostly. Look it’s just to easy to make angst of him. And I am desperate for more angst. Please Rise fandom, give the guy some more love (and pain I MEAN WHAT??! WHO SAID THAT)

Anyway I don’t think Splinter would actually say this cause easy life?? Yeah no.

I imagine this is a reoccurring dream that he has. He knows his dad wouldn’t say that to him but that doesn’t stop his subconscious from pretending he would✨

Also can you tell I’m fighting for my life trying to avoid drawing Splinter? He terrifies me I’m avoiding him like the plague

Omw to make more “silly” Raph animations with Jack Stauber songs

[whattraintracks]

22. Puzzling - TMNT 2012

Don't worry, guys, that wasn't supposed to happen.

When the bit of Kraang tech he's examining (read: poking randomly in the hopes that something will happen) explodes, Donatello's not sure if he or Raphael shrieks louder. He thinks it's Raph. Which would be way funnier under different circumstances.

He blinks against sooty particulates. "Huh, well, that wasn't supposed to happen."

He's amid a cloud of unexpectedly thick, slightly pink smoke. Which is on-brand but frankly annoying. He waves at the air in a vain attempt to disperse it. Maybe he can move this operation to the kitchen, work under the exhaust hood. He should probably install one in here. He gives up flailing his arms, and backs away from the desk. Step one to solving any problem is getting some distance. Step two is—oh, that's weird. The cloud doesn't seem to have moved since the initial explosion. What kind of particles are these? He hasn't seen Kraang tech do this before.

The moment he remembers Raph is also the moment he trips over him. With a yelp, he hits the ground. Hard. Raph giggles. Rude. He's going to have at least two bruises tomorrow. And his scream was definitely louder than Raph's, so he's lost any right to make fun.

"Dude," Donnie groans, pushing to his feet. At least he's away from the Kraang smoke, "Why'd you trip me?"

"I don't know," comes the high-pitched reply, "Why're you so big?"

By the time his eyes clear, he's pretty sure it's a genuine question, not an insult about his height. It makes more sense once he looks down, down, down to find Raph miniaturised.

Donnie throws his hands to his head. "That wasn't supposed to happen, either!" Raph just giggles again.

"Leo!"

As far as they can tell, based on Raph's appearance and memories, he's about five. Donnie can't even remember being that young. Which he counts as a good thing because kids are weird. Or maybe that's just mutant turtle kids. He doesn't have experience with normal children to establish a baseline. Leo and Sensei do, though, and they seem unperturbed by Raph's behavior. Even Mikey takes the whole thing in stride. He is, in fact, absolutely thrilled and oscillates between gathering blackmail material and doing whatever Raph asks.

Donnie will admit he's having trouble making sense of it all. First, and he thinks he’s mentioned this, that was not supposed to happen. He can't figure out how a broken Kraang tech part without any detectable energy source could have caused something like this. Which naturally leads to the question of how he's meant to fix it. Raph has no idea what happened, either, so he's no help. Worse, he just might be the most confusing being Donnie has ever met. Take yesterday, for example.

He's not sure what time it is when he stumbles out of the lab for breakfast, so it might not technically be in the range of the day at which it is appropriate to call a meal breakfast. His brain is too full of viscous pink Kraang smoke to care. It must be some mealtime because everyone but Master Splinter is in the kitchen when he arrives. Leo is at the island supervising Raph and Mikey's mess-making by the stove.

Raph perks up, "Hey Donnie! I wanna tell you a question."

"Ask nicely, Raph," Leo reminds, hiding a smile behind the rim of his tea cup.

"Please, I wanna tell you a question." He barrels on, "How do you open your labrador?”

Open his what? Donnie stares at the space above Raph's head, trying to parse the question until a nudge from Leo resets his brain. "Say what?"

"Your labrador!" He flings his arms out, nearly knocking himself to the floor. Mikey catches the lip of his shell just in time.

“What Labrador? Raph, I don't have a—”

“Yeah, you do!” He's angry of a sudden. Of course, he is. But it's weird. It's not the first time Donnie's made him mad since the incident, but he's never gotten in anyone's face or stormed off with a huff. He just screeches until he gets whatever it is that he wants. It's Raph's anger, but it's not. “It’s how you get to the place you do all your smart stuff!"

Mikey swoops in, crouching to squeeze Raph gently, then translates, “He means the door to your lab, bro.”

“The door? Oh. Why would—?" Donnie sighs heavily, sinking into the stool next to Leo. “Raph, that’s the lab door,” he enunciates, “Not a Labrador. A Labrador is a dog breed."

Just like that, Raph's face unscrunches into something thoughtful. “So it’s not a labrador?”

Well, at least the exasperation is familiar. "I literally just said that. It’s a normal door.” Leo clicks at him warningly. Come on, what is he supposed to do here? Seriously, this feels surreal. Maybe this whole dialogue is a dream, and he's hunched over his desk right now. He straightens his shell to test for any worse-than-usual aching.

“Okay," Raph says. Then he turns around. Just like that. As if the entire conversation never happened. Never mind his original question or whatever he was trying to ask. He makes no sense, literally none at all.

But, you know what, fine. Donnie has to eat anyway so he can go back to the "place where he does all his smart stuff" or whatever. So he can figure out how to get his actual brother back, who at least makes sense most of the time.

Leo finishes his tea, returning Raph's enthusiastic wave goodbye, and then there are three. Mikey and Raph finally settle down to eat whatever noxious concoction they've whipped up as Donnie cleans his dishes. Freshly fed, his brain refills with extradimensional smoke and engineering.

"Well, that's boring!"

He fumbles with his mug at the sudden shout. A glance over his shoulder finds Raph, who had been eating quietly, now glaring at him.

“You should name that boring normal door Labrador so we can just call it that anyway," he says firmly.

He's not sure why he tries to ask, “Why would I—”

“Or or!" And it's like a switch again, anger suddenly dissipating. "We could name it something cooler! Like Thundoor from Crognard!”

“Thundarr,” He corrects. It's too late, Mikey's joins in.

“That’s awesome, little dude!" Mikey laughs buoyantly. "We should name all the furniture!”

“Yeah!”

And Donnie is so tired and so lost, and Raph is too much and too little of his brother at the same time it’s not even funny anymore. He doesn't think it ever was.

“Come one, Dee!" Mikey hoists Raph onto his shoulders, naturally content to ignore the messy kitchen. "Help Raphie and I name everything in the lair!”

Donnie tries to shake his head as Raph reaches for him. “Can you! Can you, please? Just for a little bit, please, Donnie, please?” Oh, now he recalls his manners.

"No, Raph." He bangs his mug onto the drying rack, ignoring Mikey's frown. "I don't have time for your nonsense questions and weird games. I'm trying to fix you."

It's not until he slams closed the lab door that the words trailing after his dramatic exit finally click. A puzzled sort of muttering from Raph: "Fix me? But I’m not broken."

So maybe he got a little too worked up, as tired as he was. But he's better now! He's eaten. He's slept five hours. He's determined to sit here until he cracks this thing.

And then someone bangs on the door.

He drops his head with a groan. How is he supposed to heroically solve all of their problems in these conditions? “Who is it, and what do you want," he shouts into the pages of his notebook.

"Once a second!"

One second, he mouths to himself. He listens to Raph struggle with the door for a lot of seconds and hopes he'll give up. He probably won't. Donnie better unlock it before he hurts himself. Or worse, starts screaming. Only because Leo would find some way to blame Donnie for it.

He shoves the door open, not at all irritated. Or vindicated either, when Raph falls on his shell and his sai skitter across the floor. Wait. “I thought Sensei took those out of your—Hey!”

Five-year-old Raph may not be much of a ninja but he is pretty slippery. He scrambles under Donnie's arm and launches into the rolling desk chair.

“Raphael." He glowers, summoning his inner Leo, "You are not allowed in the lab—”

“Without you,” he recites, spinning the chair so Donnie only catches glimpses of his cheeky smile. “But you’re here too! So it’s okay.”

It most definitely is not. Raph has no understanding of lab safety right now, so if Raph stays in here, then Donnie will have to keep an eye on him, and if Donnie has to watch Raph, then he can't focus on his work. He does not want Raph in here, and he says so.

“Donnie, I'll be so so so good. Please!” Oh, Mikey absolutely taught him how to do that with his eyes. Not cool, Mike.

“Raph," Donnie faux whines back. "I need to work. Go play with Leo or Mikey."

"Ugh," Raph flops onto his shell, letting his head and limbs hang. “But Sensei and Leo are medating, and Mikey’s with Red."

“Meditating," he corrects, "And I know you know her name is April.”

“Casey calls her Red.”

“Yeah, well, Casey’s a—” Raph looks at him with wide, innocent eyes. A promise on his face that anything Donnie says will be repeated. "It’s polite to call people by their name."

Raph hums, continuing to spin idly, “But I don't call you Donatello, I call you Donnie. And you call me Raph or sometimes Fai.”

Not a bad point. But what was that second thing? Fai? Oh. His brain retrieves fuzzy, forgotten memories. That's right. When they were both little, that had been his nickname for Raph. Just between the two of them. He can't remember when he stopped using it.

“Right," he says slowly. "But those are nicknames. They're a shorter version of your name.”

“Oh, okay.” Then Raph rolls out of the chair, clunking to the ground shell first, and wanders away to explore the lab.

Donnie retakes the seat, resigning himself to further interruptions. Part of his brain is devoted to thinking up better excuses in case this is one of those conversations Raph returns to without warning. The rest of his awareness is on Raph as he pokes and prods at books and equipment and even poor Timothy. It takes the better part of a half hour for him to realise he's still sitting at his desk not moving a muscle.

He growls, gripping his head. Raph is on him in an instant. "What's wrong? Can I help? Do you need a book? Do you want one of mine? I can get Leo! Or Sensei, or—"

"No," Donnie snaps.

He gapes as Raph's beak trembles and his eyes fill with tears. "You're crying. Why are you crying? Please stop crying." He slides to the floor next to Raph, "I'm sorry? It's just. I'm trying to focus! I need to fix you, but I don't—"

“I don’t want you to fix me!” He shouts, scrubbing his face and hiccupping. “I just want to play! Why won’t you play with me anymore?"

“Raph, I," Donnie looks down at his hands, "I don’t have time,” he finishes lamely.

“Yes, you do! You’re just being mean!” He runs out of the lab. Probably to someone who actually understands him. Someone who tries. Donnie wonders if he’ll ever stop messing things up for Raph.

Because as far as they can tell, this version of Raph went to bed one day, and the family he found upon waking was suddenly different. Of course, Raph is frustrated and confused and probably a little scared. He's not just normal Raph in a smaller body. Donnie might've realised that sooner if he'd spent more time with him instead of causing one mess after the other and then hiding from it all in his lab.

Donnie doesn't remember when he was five, but he's heard Sensei's stories about their childhood. The ones about his younger self hanging on Raph's every word. That one embarrassing retelling of the biggest fight Donnie ever caused by announcing Raph was his favorite brother. His father's memories of them doing everything together, at least until Donnie really got into science. So he steps out of the lab and locks it behind him. His brother, this brother, needs to come first.

He must look contrite enough that Leo only grills him a little before he points to Raph's room. After a single breath of indecision, he sits, shell against the door.

“Hey, Fai?” he starts, tugging at his fingers, “I’m really sorry. I have been pretty mean lately, haven’t I?” It takes a few moments, but a little thud echoes on the other side of the door.

Relieved, he continues, “I’m not as good at this as I used to be. I might need your help. But I’m out of my lab right now, and we can play whatever you want.”

Donnie hits the floor before he realises the door has swung open. Little Raph is looking down at him, eyes still watery but excited. "Really? Anything? Even Space Heroes!"

And Donnie almost can't believe it's that easy. He smiles with Raph's infectious joy. “Space Heroes? Who are you, Leo?”

Raph collapses into him with a laugh that banishes the rest of his tears as Donnie reaches out, tickling him just like he's seen their big brother do. He's still giggling when Donnie staggers to his feet. “Think I could use some bedding to build us the Dauntless?”

Raph cheers. Launching into an explanation of his favorite episodes and characters as he directs them around the lair to collect supplies. If this isn't blackmail material, Donnie doesn't know what is. Raph will never be able to deny that he likes Space Heroes ever again. Once Donnie figures out how to reverse this Kraang-smoke-induced de-aging that is.

He does still have to. They need Raph as he should be: their teammate, their protector, their equal. But if he were here in those roles right now, Donnie knows he would have heard a thousand times over that he needs to sleep, to eat, to take a break for at least five minutes, Don, come on.

So he'll try. He'll take breaks to hang out with his favorite brother. He'll get a lot of experience building sheet spaceships and pillow forts. And by the end of it all, Donnie will realise his little brother really does just want to play and ask silly questions that probably don’t seem so silly to him. He'll decide this little version of Raph isn't a puzzle of confusing emotions. He's the same pieces he's always been, unfiltered and untethered from all the pain and fear of their older selves.

And so, even after Raph returns to 16, whenever the thought creeps up on Donnie that he's not doing enough, that he needs to fix it. He'll lock his lab behind him and say, "Hey, Fai! Wanna play something?"

[ilovebeingaturtle]

I feel so validated in my character analysis of 87!Raphael this is fantastic. I mean I know he’s having a miserable time right now but I’m doing greAT

[fromtheshadowsnyc]

“Hey, you aren’t like…serial killers or something, right?”

“No, no we’re not serial killers. We’re not exactly—normal. But we’re not serial killers.”

“Just another group of weirdos living in New York, huh?”

He snorts again, quickly turning into a chuckle.

“Oh, you have no idea.”

Summary: A young wannabe investigative journalist's life changes after delivering pizza to an alleyway one night.

Entry 1: New York State of Mind

Entry 2: The Delivery

[angelmichelangelo]

can we just talk about how easily mikey is able to take on his brothers that are possessed and not holding back at all? he had some serious untapped potential in this show that was so wasted

[i-got-da-rubes]

If you love Rise Raph as much as I do, maybe you should check out my small Future!Rise fic where I make him as big as Heinous Green. Because I said so. BIG RAPH SUPREMACY.

He’s still a lil goofball. It’s called Full Grown, and it is very dear to me. It is very soft and has a gentle ending. I originally called it “Mystic Breakdown,” but I’ve since made that the name of the series because I’ll be posting a second one focusing on Donnie on Sunday!!

Summary:

“Very early on in the invasion, the Hamato Clan discovered something.. Not so good. To understand it, one must take a look at the Hidden City. The underground world fell in much more chaotic fashion than New York did, and that’s saying something.”

In the midst of the apocalypse, the boy’s powers get a little out of hand.

Notes:

Prompt via my friend Noah: Big Raph rescues people and pets from the Krang

The prompt was not well followed.

Y'know Heinous Green from "Raph's Ride-along?" With that and the combined knowledge that Leo got giant in the future, I wanted to mess around with how big Raph would grow to be, and how his gentle soul may hate it.

A good song to listen to while reading: “FULL GROWN,” by Field Medic or “You Love Me” by Kimya Dawson.

Anyways, here it is!!

Thanks for getting this far in my post. Have a wonderful day.

[freedomaddict]

every time i finish a fic i think "no other fic can destroy me as much as this one"

BUT HAVE Y'ALL READ "Empathy Amplified"????????????

???????????????????????????

guys

i

the feels the emotions the pain the comfort oh my god ohmygod ohmygodohmygodohmygod i cannot. i cannot im gonna cry i cANT no fic has tore my heart so far apart and pieced it back up maybe its cuz im the therapist sibling who never allwos himself to feel emotions that aren't happy or WHAT but god damn that hit all the right angles

[t-rexseesyoursins]

SCREAMING AND RAGING

[raphieeee]

Raph starts to go out in secret. To start with it’s because he wants to do something on his own. He sneaks into movies, watch sports games and goes to shopping centres after dark. He almost gets caught a few times, getting away with the barest hint of trace. When he gets seen by a few highschool kids who are huffing smoke from a class pipe, they scream and call him a freak. He doesn’t tell anyone, he’ll get in trouble for going out, but it sticks with him. He keeps going out after a while, almost getting jumped a few times but getting away without a fight. But soon he stops running and starts to fight back, enjoying being able to win a fight against someone who won’t throw a fit or with his dad chastising him. He starts to wrap his knuckles so no one sees how raw and bruises they are, as well as his elbows and knees. he discovers crime rings on his own, stops kidnappings and domestic abused. He feels like a hero, like a legend people should be talking about. He moves around too much for anything to start up though. It’s when he saves a little boy, maybe seven or eight, from a woman with a disturbing smile and free roaming hands that he starts to feel less cool and more… responsible. He isn’t an action hero, he’s real. The people he’s helping are real and in danger. He grows bitter of the world even as he saves people. He cares for the victims but the people who hurt he talked to sometimes. Broken and in need of help they can’t afford so they fight and hurt. He hates some of them as they are bad people, but he knows that others are just humans in a world that was built against them. Splinter and his brothers notice the changes in him, especially when he starts to snap less and less and accepts loosing fights. But they also notice he pulls his punches and takes hits like their pillows hitting his shell. ‘Tough’ they say, but he’s not. He’s worn down. It’s when they are fifteen, an age he has felt since he was ten, since he first saved that boy at thirteen, and they are told they are now a team to go out and save people. Leo is overjoyed to be leader, the other two excited to go out and see the world while helping people. Mikey turns to Raph and asks for a high-three, saying something about being superhero’s. Raph responds in a voice they don’t recognise, “ain’t worth it. Worlds not gonna care what we do.” He leaves, dropping his Sai’s and going to his room. Splinter watches his son go and is filled with regret as he realises his son has seen more than he lets on.

[legendweaver]

Wanted to post just the artwork!

original!