#rant over now i promise

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

september 2, 2021 1:00 a.m. grant's mind

🎵 did you learn to dream in the morning? abandon dreams in the afternoon? wait without a hope in the evening? did you stand there in the traces and let them feed you lies? did you trail along behind them wearing blinkers on your eyes? did you kiss the foot that kicked you? did you thank them for their scorn? did you ask for their forgiveness for the act of being born? 🎵

[ruelpsen]

It's disappointing seeing people continue to choose to get food for stuffings from places on BDS boycott lists (McD's being the most common one I've seen) but man, despite my disappointment I'm not surprised I keep seeing it. Some of y'all still can't boycott Chik-Fil-A and we've known about their shady homophobic shit for YEARS.

[everypanelofizuku]

Chapter 96 - Home Visits

[phightingconfessions]

Holy shit I love that this community is so supporting of chubby characters! The horrors of fat phobia I've seen in other fandoms is crazy especially the regretevator discord server the mods there are just scary..

EXACTLY!!!! like obviously theres still gonna be those people that get some violent rage and hatred over seeing someone draw a character fat but ive noticed theyre mostly.. a minority in the phandom? not even a VOCAL minority i just barely even see them and ngl its actually really refreshing

[miradelletarot]

A little help?

Friends, moots...passers by?

might be a strange ask, but can you just bombard my TL with Everything Gale Dekarios? I need to purge some sad brain shit outta my head, and the only cure is Gale. Probably.

...or a lobotomy. That will make me stop thinking about my failed marriage right? Hmm. Let's try Gale first.

[deer-with-a-stick]

Literally screaming into a void right now but jesus christ why the hell do so many people hate Gale?? Is this because of Dragon Age??? He's my boy leave him alone

[liquidchocolatecake]

currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad

[certainmaybe]

Because you don't care

It had been a good month since Supervillain had won. Almost the same amount of time since their team had fallen apart. From what Second in Command heard, the others had more or less kept in contact. They were a family after all. More than colleagues. Friends. And then there was Second in Command, the ever opposing force who had made every single one of them lose their temper at least once. 

Had they hoped one of the others might contact them? Maybe. Were they better off alone? Definitely.

So it had been a good month since that. And then, in the middle of the night, Leader called.

“What the hell to you want?” Second in Command bit in to the phone with all the annoyance they could bring up when less then a second ago they had been sleeping.

“Second in Command,” Leader said. Their voice was distorted by the phone.

“If you tell me this is the wrong number I swear to god I’m going to kill you.”

“Funny. Because that’s kind of why I called.”

“You want me to kill you?”

“I want you to stop me from killing myself.” Suddenly the room was upside down. And then it was right again, but Second in Command was the wrong way round. They were sitting straight, feeling cold all over.

“This is a joke, right?”

“I’m afraid not. I- I have a gun, and I just- Second in Command it would be so easy. And I know it is selfish, I know the others need me, but I can’t fix this. I can’t fix anything.”

“Okay,” said Second in command, because what else were they supposed to say. Their mouth felt dry. “What do you need me to do?”

There was a horrifyingly long break before Leader spoke again. “Just stay on the phone with me? Talk to me, try to distract me, so I can stop thinking about… this.”

“Distract you? Okay, I- where are you now? It sounds like you are outside, are you outside?”

“Do you remember the skyscraper?”

“There are like a million skyscrapers in this city.”

“You are right, sorry. The one where-”

“I know, Leader, I am on my way.” Second in Command didn’t even bother getting dressed, they walked out in their pajamas, jogging to their cars. Of course only one of them could fly.

“You don’t need to- I know I am already asking a lot of you, calling in the middle of the night. Making you come here would just be selfish. If you can just stay on the phone with me I think I can make it.”

“Well guess what, you don’t get to tell me what to do any more, I quit, remember?” The car was finally starting and Second in Command knew that they were fucking this up. What Leader needed now, well, Second in Command had no idea, but it certainly wasn’t fighting with the one person they had fought with for years.

“Okay, you want a distraction. Tell me about your day. What did you do?”

“Not much. Nothing that would be worth talking about.”

“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it, tell me what the fuck you did.”

“I visited Sunshine. They haven’t been taking it well, they… they don’t really eat any more, I think, unless I make them, so I try to visit at least two times a day. So I visited them for breakfast. And then I tried to get Hero to go out. They have locked himself into what is left of our base, they are convinced they can still defeat Supervillain somehow. I have been trying to slowly break it to them that there is just no hope, but they are- well, they are grieving. Then the police called because of Fighter, they got into another fight. So I bailed them out. Then I visited Sunshine again, and then I drove Scientist home from the bar-  they have started drinking again, I’m trying to get them clean but there is no talking to them. And then- well, then I called you.”

“So during your whole day, during which you spent time with four people who love you dearly, not once did it occur to you to talk to them?”

“They need me to be strong right now. If they saw me like this- I couldn’t do that to them.”

“But you can do it to me, typical.”

“Well you don’t care about me. It wouldn’t hurt you, even if I killed myself. That’s what I always admired about you, how you manage to keep your distance from everything.”

“Fuck you.” Second in Command was standing in front of the skyscraper. 20 fucking levels. They didn’t even glance at the elevator before starting to jog up the stairs. “You think I don’t fucking care? What, just because I don’t make a speech about how much I love you all every time somebody gets a paper cut? You really just saw somebody with a hard childhood and an attachment disorder and decided that they couldn’t possibly care about anybody or anything. Well guess what, I do fucking care. I care so fucking much that I am going to strangle you my self for doing this, so don’t you dare kill your self before I get to you. I don’t care, you absolute prick. I’m sorry we don’t all get hugged by our parents.”

“I am so sorry, Second in Command, I shouldn’t have called. I should have asked how you are doing, this must have been just as hard for you-”

“Shut up you self sacrificing prick. I knew from the beginning this was going to blow up in out face, I told you so, I am fine. I am angry as fuck at all of you for not listening to me earlyer, especially you, but I already told you that. If I have a problem, you will know it.”

Second in Command was out of breath. They were also finally on the roof, where Leader stood, with such an expression of deep despair and acute horror on their face that Second in Command couldn’t do anything but ignore it.

“And now give me the fucking gun or I will take it from you.” Leaders hand was shaking badly as they did as told. The moment it was out of their hand they sank down on the floor, shaking.

For a few moments Second in Command thought about what to do. They really weren’t the person to turn to for comfort. Nobody had ever asked them to either.

“Fuck it,” they said out loud, opening their contact list and clicking on one of the first numbers.

“What are you doing?” Leader asked, still shaking on the floor.

“Calling Sunshine.”

“No, no, they can’t-”

“Well, I can’t either.” It took a while for Sunshine to answer. But they did, sounding like they had been crying.

“Second in Command?”

“The Skyscraper. Leader needs you. And bring food, I’m going to call the others.”

“Don’t, they don’t need-”

“Yes, they do need to see this. You all need to get your shit together, and from what I have seen so far you sentimental idiots need to actually get together to do that.”

Scientist was the next one on the list.

“Are you sober?” Second in Command asked without any prelude. 

“No,” was the resigned answer. “What do you want?”

“Leader needs help, so I am calling a family meeting. Skyscraper, now, get yourself a taxi, if I catch you with a bottle I will kill you with it.”

“Since when do you call family meetings?”

“Since nobody else is stepping up. Now stop arguing and get our ass here now.”

The call ended with a click. Second in Command made an attempt to call Fighter, but as expected, they were in prison again. So Hero it was.

“Second in Command, what do you know?”

“I know that you have a problem, but right now Leader needs you more. Skyscraper, right now, and get Fighter out of jail first.”

“What do you mean Leader needs me, I just talked to them, they are fine.”

“No they are not, they are a filthy liar.”

“Shit. I’ll be there. Are they okay?” Second in Command looked down at the figure, still shaking on the floor.

“I don’t know.”

“I’m coming.”

And that was that. It was scarily silent on the roof, with the sound of cars in the far distance.

Scientist came first. They looked rough and smelled of puke. They took barely a second to look at Second in Command before they stumbled to Leader.

“What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? You don’t look okay, and if Second in Command called me- remember when I broke my leg and they told me to walk it off? If they called me to help you there is no way this is fine.”

“I’m sorry I let you down,” Second in Command heard Leader say. After that they decided to tune out.

The next person was Sunshine, carrying bags of take out. They looked thinner, dark circles under their eyes, but the way they immediately softened upon seeing Leader on the floor was familiar.

“Hey,” they said, sitting down next to Leader. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Second in Command starred out into the city, feeling like a stranger in somebody else's home.

And then, finally, Hero and Fighter arrived. The door hadn’t even closed behind them before Second in Command pulled it open again.

“Where are you going?” asked Fighter, the last person still standing.

“Away. This is family business.”

“Exactly. You should be here.”

“I’m not part of the family.”

“Of course you are. You are the fucked up uncle from dads side who lives in a trailer and gives the children cigarettes.”

“That’s very specific.”

“And true.”

After a moment of silence Second in Command let the door fall close again. “Aren’t you going to go to them?”

“I’m afraid,” Fighter admitted. “Can I just stay with you for now?”

“It’s a free country.”

“Can I have a cigarette?" 

“Absolutely not.”

“Damn it.”

[destiny-in-the-universe]

The Promised Neverland x RC9GN

So, since I am on a temporary break from asks- I decided to go ahead and post some more coherent thoughts on the crossover literally no one except ONE person was interested in (/lh). I didn't expect the post to gain even the slightest bit of traction, so seeing someone with the same type of rotting interest actually made my day-

I actually wanted to focus on what came before Randy had even been born (aka what the deal with 'the Ninja' is because this idea barely makes an ounce of sense), so without much further ado- let's continue!

The First Ninja is meant to parallel William Minerva/James Ratri. He was a descendant of the original founders which had been involved in 'the Promise' and originally he didn't fully question their behavior, it was more so along the lines of "if I pretend everything is fine, I won't have to acknowledge how I feel about it", but as things kind of escalated- he couldn't bring himself to just sit aside and ignore it. At some point, he flat out rebelled (not that anyone was aware of what he'd begun to do-) and was leaving behind evidence to alert the farms orphanages about what was going on.

Now if you've been following my content at all, you know I talk about the Norisu 9 every so often- I like to think they were also involved and contributed in different ways to the first wave of resistance. The First Ninja is still a warrior in this crossover and I like to think he supplied weapons, things that would harm the demons but going against their leader was a lot harder than he thought it would

(The leader who, of course, is the Sorcerer)

Finja fought bravely, but as punishment for his disobedience- he was subject to watching his entire clan die before his eyes. Forced to live with the guilt, he broke off from the resistance (at least that was the agreement- he would continue working for the demons until someone else took over his role upon death) and went back to the life he held previously. However unbeknownst to the Sorcerer, Finja had left behind something important: the Nomicon.

A tome that contained tunnels and maps of the Demon World, the key to paradise. It held the bunker with a supply of weapons and arsenal, and everything- Finja had entrusted a demon known as “the Messenger” to hand it down, but there was one problem to this plan: who would carry on the mantle?

A decision was made for it to be left in the least likely of locations: one of the farms.

The Messenger had unique powers- allowing them to find the next “Ninja”, someone who possessed specific traits and could carry on what Finja had started. Years came to pass, each with varying levels of success (a few managed to cause a new wave of resistance, one unfortunate kid got adopted- and the rest, well, who knows what became of them). First Ninja’s name was forgotten over the years and the book would continue to be handed down.

The First Ninja is bound to the book- whether this makes in the original Promised Neverland canon is irrelevant, because well, I make the rules (/lh). I like to think he has the ability to communicate with the current holder of the book, but unlike the RC9GN canon- things work a little differently.

He communicates with the current ‘Ninja’ via dreams- sending ominous signs and continuing to hand them lessons but there isn’t any ‘shloomping’ into the Nomicon. Things just work a little differently, if anything-

The book is eventually left in the hands of Randy, but that is a story for another day.

Finja was left with immense survivor’s guilt- knowing he had failed his siblings, he had failed the children, everyone who wanted the nightmare of the Promise to end. He lost the hope things would ever right themselves. His actions came with unfortunate consequences, and in the years leading up to his death- he isolated himself from everyone. Though his allies attempted to honor his wishes, even if he didn’t know about what they had done.

(I might tie Rei Izumi into this, but we’ll see-)

His legacy continues and for one particular boy, and the people he cares about, everything is going to change. Sooner than they think.

Written as a partial gift to @thesoundofmadness! Also because I am just fixated on this universe lol, but these are my thoughts for now! More will be dropped eventually, hope you enjoy the rest of your day loves!

[blushy-tigerrr]

vent in tags sorry

cw: mention of loss

[thefloatingwriter]

wiress with cats.

[steakout-05]

hot take: Skibidi Toilet (as in the og series and not the stupid exploitative content farm shit) isn't even as bad as people say it is. like yeah it's definitely silly and nonsensical, and maybe super young kids shouldn't exactly be watching it, but can you really say that the insanity of Skibidi Toilet isn't at all similar to the types of Gmod videos we used to watch when we were kids and teenagers? are we seriously trying to act like our own nonsensical Source Engine shitposting from way back in 2007 is somehow better than the more modern shitposting of Skibidi Toilet? or are we just deeming anything liked by kids as "cringe" now. cause that's what it seems like.

also the whole "Skibidi Toilet Syndrome" thing is really stupid and is literally just describing kids reenacting stuff they like on the internet which is a completely normal thing for kids to do. i used to reenact Viva Reverie's old MLP toy horse nonsense videos back when their channel was still called "IMATOONLINK" because they were funny as hell. kids acting out their favourite medias isn't new and it isn't suddenly a bad thing or a "syndrome" when it's something that's generally considered to be "cringe" on the internet. you guys are just mean.

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[squarebracketsmileyface]

obsessed by olivia rodrigo feels like. jay talking abt amy

Oh definitely, tho there was a point where I was thinking of making it so that the feelings between Jay and Amy were like, where AMY was the one kinda jealous of Jay. That fell through pretty quick tho because it just wouldn't work. It didn't feel right lol (shocker)

This, and misery business by Paramour actually, work pretty well for Jay talking about Amy in Sorry, It's Locked. That was the song that made me think "hey what if Amy was kinda jealous over Alex", specifically the line "I watched his wildest dreams come true and not one of them involving you" cos like, yeah that kinda happened. Alex got a healthy, happy relationship with Amy for at least a couple years before the Operator caught up with him, and that life didn't involve Jay at all, y'know? But the idea of Amy being kinda spiteful and jealous just didn't sit right with me from the miniscule bit we see of her in actual MH.

She seems to kind and reasonable and, y'know, not a creepy dick like Jay is 💀

JAY BEING JEALOUS OVER ALEX BEING WITH AMY THO????? HOOOOOOOOOO BOY

Definitely

Definitely definitely definitely

I think it'd be one of those things that didn't stick around for super long, but like, for about a year or so after Alex "broke up with him" in uni and moved away to live with Amy Jay was VERY much "obsessed with Amy because she "stole" Alex from him. And sure yeah yeah Alex and Amy weren't Exes at that point (I'd argue they still aren't because Amy's dead, they didn't break up she died. She's not his ex girlfriend she's his late girlfriend, y'know?) but still, the general vibe of Obsessed by Olivia Rodrigo still stands.

For a year or so Jay was obsessed with Amy almost as much as he was obsessed with Alex, it was just that it was like a hate obsession rather than a love one? He probably just wouldn't shut up about it to their friends. (Fixing this by saying Tim simply forgot because operator shit between uni and S,IL lmao, so it's fiiiiine, he just doesn't remember that jay told him and their other friends so much about his and Alex's FWB relationship in uni. Hooray for memory loss! A writer's best friend when you're writing shit not in chronological order and aren't gonna go fix it all in a second and third draft lol)

I think Jay would still feign ignorance over why Alex moved away, partly because he can't bring himself to believe it is his fault, which it kinda is (because I do plan on making Alex moving away kinda a direct result of Jay's actions across their relationship, because I love using that pathetic wet cat of a man as my personal human punching bag) and he'd act like Amy just stole Alex away from him for no reason, rather than the reason being that Amy talked to alex and was like "hey, the way Jays treating you isnt okay" because she only hears alexs side of the story.

She's still right of course. The way Jay's treating him ISNT okay. It's shit. But they were both shit to each other in uni y'know?

Anyway yeah for a while jay talked about Amy fucking constantly to his friends because he felt 'wronged' by her because she stole Alex from her. (Probably making that a thing where she was like "hey how about you come stay with me for a little bit while your hands are healing up" —yeah hes gonna fuck up his hands, its gonna be a whole thing, you'll see it in chapter 6 of if it aint broken— and Alex agrees and then just, never goes back, he gets all his stuff moved to Amy's and enrolls at her uni instead and all that)

ALSO that line in Obsessed about watching every movie she's been in is PERFECT. I feel like Amy definitely was in at least a couple scenes of Alex's marble hornets, maybe as a background character or in some scrapped scenes, and Jay has watched them all a million times trying to pick her apart and find out why she was better than him, what about her made Alex pick her. He refuses to believe Alex is just straight, and he IS right but like... That would be a reasonable reason for him to stop "experimenting" and get a girlfriend lol

Jay also definitely remembers every detail Alex ever told him about Amy, or that he found out himself. I do think he'd at least TRY to do a little stalking of her and Alex once he moves away. Not a huge amount, he catches himself pretty quickly and tries to convince himself he just doesn't care enough to want to find out more about how Alex is doing now he's with Amy. But like, idk he definitely at least, like, Facebook stalked them or something lmfao. Even if it didn't get up to in person stalking like he got to in MH, he was definitely at least a little weird about them.

[m5or]

OKAY SO I have FELLINGS bout the victory cutscene in skyloft. WHERE THE F DID EPONA COMEFROM? And did Link the victory stance in Tp on Eldin brige after you defeat king bublin. Like EXUSE ME? wrong place buddy! (Is this a glitch or somthin? I did skyloft first if that is any variable to this equation) I feel a little chip on my shoulder. I feel wronged. Idk. I am doing "Twilight field" last. Tf Lana be the only one to do so? Yes I have gotten riled up at this silly fun game. It took me so far out of the emerson.. I am still gonna play the game but ima grump a little.

Just just I love Twilight Princess so much. You have the Eldin Bridge as the "Twilight field" too! And you Pull that move on me at SKYLOFT?