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lovingherrscher · 2 years ago

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Kabedon gone wrong ft BSD Men

Ft: Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Oda Sakunosuke, Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Warning: crack, fluff, some suggestive contents, a bonus ft 15!Dazai & Chuuya. Fuck off if you're tryna file a complaint on me.

Best with: Uninvited School - Blue Archive OST

Dazai

He knows what this is. Ofc, what do you expect from this man?

Will try that out even when you two are at the ADA. He doesn't give a damn about his co-workers covering Kyouka's eyes.

Might use that to initiate a make out session in the office.

His style is using one hand to trap you as his other lift your chin up so your eyes are locked.

"Uh...Osamu..? What are you doing?"

You knew that moment when you asked Dazai whether he knows what a kabedon is, you fucked up. As by now, you're trapped between the Agency's nearest wall and your beloved Dazai's arm.

His free hand spare no mercy as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. If not for the ruckus everyone else is causing in the background, you could've focus more on those brown orbs you adore so much, but alas, this isn't your shared apartment, but the Agency, and well, Kyouka is there too.

Your background was a Kunikida who had broke his who-knows-how-many pen in this week, a Yosano in the back sighing as she was covering innocent Kyouka's eyes. At the same time, the Tanizaki siblings were reacting differently, as Naomi were fangirling over the scene, her "I want you to do that too, dear brother~" didn't went unheard, Tanizaki, on the other hand was flushing as he tries to refuse his little sister. The luckiest thing were probably Atsushi was accompanying Kenji out for a job, while Ranpo was too busy munching on his snacks, though the scene didn't went unnoticed to our great detective.

"Now, what do you say we continue this later, just you and me in our bedroom, hm?"

Dazai whispers in your ears, right before Kunikida strangles the man as he dragged him away, claiming he won't let that bandage-wasting-device ruin the perfect scenery of the office anymore.

Chuuya

He knows what this is, like Dazai. But due to the height (dis)advantage, he may or may not perform this to his lovely s/o.

If you beg him till he deems enough, he may consider giving you what you want, but would be a little different.

He'll use his leg to trapped you instead, so instead of a kabedon we'll have a ashidon. Oops?

Jokes aside, I personally think he'll be using one hand and one leg on both side so you cannot escape.

"Your... wish is my command, princess."

You could've swore you felt him sighing as he press on each syllable. And how did this happen again? It kinda cost you a bottle or two of Chuuya's favorite wine, plus one night with you wearing his favorite lingerie set, which of course, he chose that out for you himself. All of that, just for a fleeting moment of recreating your favorite scene in a certain shoujo manga. Was it all worth it?

But right now, as you, trapped between the ginger and the wall, you felt no regret. It wasn't exactly like how you imagine it would be, as he traps you with a hand on this side, and a leg on the other side, supposedly due to your lover's (dis)advantage of heights. But it's counted, right? This still count as a kabedon, right?!

You could saw his smirk, the one he always did before he beats up the enemies, and that moment you knew you fucked up. Chuuya took his chance while you were still loading and leaned in, his face unbelievable close to yours, "You wouldn't mind if I claim my payment right here, would you?"

Oda

God. This man. Where do I even start?

Like our boi sushi, he won't know what this is until he asked his friend Dazai.

Definitely not Dazai laughing his ass off in the bar while Oda is just like "Oh, i understand now." as if nothing just happened.

Man is a walking pole I tell you so he'd definitely be able to do this without flaws.

His style will be using both hands as he leans close enough to kiss you, leaving no escape, the pressure from this man feel like he's going to eat us-

When you first asked Oda for a kabedon, you honestly didn't think it'll be something like this. He admitted that he didn't know what that is, so at time like this, Oda'd seek help from his best friend. Dazai, was more than happy to assist him in this, so the two spent a whole night at Lupin studying about kabedon, while Ango in the back refuse to add this 'weird' knowledge.

So when the tutoring session end, Oda decided to try his newly acquired skill on you, like you asked for. You, caged in between his hands, your back was against the bedroom wall, the red-ish hue on your cheeks didn't went unnoticed as Oda leans in to steal your lips for a brief moment.

As you would describe, Oda's kiss taste like adulthood, filled with bitterness. The slight taste of caffeine and the harsh, painful taste of cigarettes, mixed with a hue of whiskey, just like him. And you love it, you love the addicting bitterness you can never get enough, and the mafioso loves that sweet, not-so-innocent taste of yours as well.

But worry not, for the night is still young. And who's to say Oda will let you go that easy?

Atsushi

Needs to be persevered.

Too precious for his own good.

He mistook that for a type of rice bowl at first but after Dazai explains what it is (cue the whole ADA holding their laughter in the background) sushiboi almost fainted.

The first time is kinda awkward so you had to show him how it's done.

Kinda backfired on him, poor boy-

"(y/n)..? What are you doing?!"

The white-haired flinched slightly as you cornered him to the nearest wall, hands on both side so he can't run away.

"Showing you how it's done, of course!"

Earlier today, when Dazai was talking about kabedon down the cafe, Atsushi couldn't help but ask what was that. Maybe the tiger's fur has, erm, overgrown in the ear, so that's why he mistook it as a new kind of ricebowl. Dazai was staring for a good while before burst out in laughter, which quickly spread to the Tanizaki siblings, and Yosano, even the infamous detective Ranpo, who was currently enjoying his parfait had to pause a bit so he can join the wagon.

You were running an errand so by the time you came back, everything has ended, but luckily for you, you have Naomi at your back! She told you everything, even that part later on when Dazai had to explain what a kabedon is to Atsushi. So an idea popped up in that small, mischievous head of your. Why not show him how it's done?

And that leads us back to the present as you were cornering Atsushi, the pinkish hue spreaded all over you two's cheeks. Yet what surprised you was that Atsushi decided it's his time to strike back as he leans up and claim your lips. The sudden act made the gears in your head stopped, inevitably, your hands slowly slipping off their positions, so he took that as a chance to grab your wrist and pinned you down the mattress.

"You know, (y/n). I am a man too, and as they said, men are hungry wolves. So why don't you let me have a taste then?"

Fyodor

This man? Yes, he speaks Japanese fluently, even better than a Japanese person even. But when it comes to culture and stuffs he's a complete fool.

Luckily for him, the (beloved) clown is there to assist!

Nikolai gave him a private tutoring session later, he even prepares some documents (shoujo manga) to help his friend understand faster, though I doubt this is needed with his intelligence...

After the tutoring session, he'd achieved the level of a almost-perfect kabedon. With one hand and one leg on both side, his free hand is free to lift your chin, as you were forced to lock eyes with him, he'll take no time but lean in for a quick, chaste kiss that's just enough to make you yearn for more.

When it comes to this foreign language, Fyodor is confident that he doesn't sound one bit like an outsider. But he doesn't pay that much focus to culture and anything else, because to him, language is just an another tool he uses to achieve his utmost goal.

So when you first brought up the topic of a 'kabedon', he had no idea what that is. But Nikolai, who was, coincidentally present at the moment, decided to jump in, "No worries! I'll teach you everything you need, Dos-kun!" before dragging his best friend somewhere else.

And the jester stays true to his words, as he brought out everything you need for a, erm, lesson? From illustration to videos as examples, even a dummy from where ever the hell he keeps it. He has everything he needed, and to make it even more, fancier, as he claimed, Nikolai even took them out from his cloak, just like Dora*mon.

Results? Well, now you can enjoy the feeling of a shoujo manga heroine with your beloved man, as he had mastered the art of kabedon, with one hand on the side, and one leg on the other side, the demon can seize the chance to grab your chin, forcing your eyes to met his violet irises, which you once told him they're like a kind of drugs, since once you've gaze upon them, you could never escape.

As you lost yourself in his eyes, Fyodor had his lips pressed against your in a swift movement, but the moment didn't last long, as the kiss were quick to come and quick to leave as well. But then there comes another chaste kiss, follows by another, leaving you hungry for more.

"I have to admit, I do enjoy your helpless state, myshka. Why don't you show me more?"

15!Dazai + 15!Chuuya

You were going to try this out on them, but it backfired, of course. And now we have an uno reverse card situation. But again, who wouldn't want to be sandwiched between these two?

Who would've knew a small shenanigans of your could lead to such huge consequences? You, trapped between the most powerful duo of Port Mafia, and maybe the whole Yokohama even.

It was when your braincells decided they're gonna take a break for today and let the stupid part do all the work, so as you three were in Dazai's office, you, out of all questions decided to ask them about kabedon. The two young boys exchanged a look before nonchalantly replies in unison,

"No. Care to teach us?"

If it were to be your everyday self, you would've refuse because there is absolutely no way they can't know what it is. Unfortunately, your braincells are on their vacation, and you waltzed right in their hands. So you asked them to stand over the nearest wall, and after struggling for a good while, congratulations, you managed to trapped the two in your arms. Their backs pressed against the wall as your hands rested right by the side of their heads,

"I guess... It looks like this?"

Before you could leave, or could even register what was happening, Dazai and Chuuya had quickly pulled you back. As by now you became the trapped one, Dazai on your right and Chuuya on your left, they tower over your body.

"I think it's our turn now. Don't ya think so?"

Followed by Chuuya's words, a kiss was placed on both side of your cheeks. You couldn't possibly imagine you, being toyed by two younger boys like this. But oh how the table had turned. Dazai, being the faster soon places a kiss on your lips, ignoring the complaints coming from the ginger.

"Now you are mine~"

"Hey! Since when was she yours, you suicidal freak?!"

Chuuya, didn't want to be left behind, suddenly pulls you towards him and claim your lips in a rougher manner comparing to his partner.

When you two parted, Dazai was holding onto you from behind, only now you see him acting like a true child. And Chuuya, who obviously doesn't want to lose, holding you close to him,

"Until you can choose, would you be ours?"

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littencloud9 · 1 year ago

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Thanks for answering my ask. If you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them. Sorry if you've answered this before.....

HI!! no problem i LOVE talking about my favs. here’s like top 3 ships of some fandoms i’m in because there is simply too many LMAO

jujutsu kaisen

- itafushi: literally my number one ship ever. they make me so fucking emo. the tragedy of what couldn’t have been prevented. i pray for itafushi moments in the jjk manga but every time it happens it is somehow worse than the last. peace 🙏

- yutamaki: they mean so much to me. i love them both platonically and romantically! their moments in jjk0 are super sweet and i love that they’re always supporting each other 🥹

- satosugu: this is a ship i’ll put in a blender. i don’t usually think of them but when i do i want to throw up blood. they’re the cause of all my problems. i love them. they are so my tears ricochet core

other ships i like are nobamaki, inuokko, and mechamiwa! perks of being a multishipper lol

bungo stray dogs

- shin soukoku: MY YIN YANG DUO!! they are the dumbest. somehow they bulldozed past all the normal stages of dating and went straight to dying for each other. who does that.

- kunichuuzai: i’m cheating here because i love all individual pairings in this ship AND the poly ship. especially kunichuu which crept up on me and slapped me in the face. chuuya being downbad for kunikida is GREAT. they are so good when you dont have toxic shippers breathing in your ear about how one is better than the other ❤️

- tachigin: do u ever think about how they’re both liars. how they both have a hidden identity. how they both found family within the mafia not as the person they really are, but as the person they pretended to be. how the betrayal felt like when tachihara dropped his mask. OUGH

i also really like ranpoe and atsulucy! and beast!akutagawa x beast!tanizaki is cute too

link click

- i’m a liar. shiguang is the only ship i have in this show. my FAVS. their devotion to each other is insane. they make me genuinely feral. cxs being an annoying little shit x lg who stays hopelessly in love anyway. ARGH I LOVE THEM. THEY WANNA SAVE EACH OTHER!!!!

tian guan ci fu

- fengqing: the implications of this 800 year old situationship is very fun. knowing someone so well that you know exactly what to say to hurt them. loving someone so deeply and repressing it to the point that you mistake it as hatred. i’m obsessed with them

- hualian: how can i not include the most romantic (and canon) pair EVER. get you someone who loves you like hua cheng loves xie lian because holy SHIT. i have not read the books (only watched the donghua) and yet these two make me feral i need them to hurry it up and get married already 😭

i don’t really ship anything else as of yet. but i do like and acknowledged beefleaf. i’ve heard it’s horribly tragic. i cannot wait to find out

sk8 the infinity

- renga: RENGA!!!! MY PRECIOUS. they are fucking head over heels for each other i’m obsessed with it. their ‘breakup arc’ genuinely hurt my soul. but i love how confident they are about each other’s skills, how they’re each others biggest supporter, how they see the best in each other etc. insane. i need season 2 asap

- matchablossom: [danny motta voice] they wanna fuck so bad. the end

i don’t ship anything else. but do i think cherry and adam had a situationship back when they were teenagers? yes. anyway

avatar the last airbender

- mailee: MY GIRLS. THE BEST ATLA SHIP AND YOU HEARD IT FROM ME. mai who masks her emotions with blankness and ty lee who masks her emotions with a smile. but they both know each other better than that. they protect each other and they are also 🖤🩷 how could you not love them!!!!

- zukka: [affectionately] there is something so wrong with these two. the original red and blue gays. to ME. i think they bounce off each other well and they’re a really funny duo. also. the prince and the fool. what more is there

- yuekka: personally i love love LOVED yuekka. i like how yue really loosened up around sokka and how sokka was head over heels for her LMAO they were a really cute ship. moon coded gf x ocean coded bf do you see how great that is. the tides follow the whims of the moon. they can’t exist without the other. ARGH

voltron

- klance: sigh. since we’re digging this deep into my fandoms list let us talk about klance. do i agree with anything that was written past season 3? absolutely not. they are definitely a wasted potential ship that ruined my life forever but like. yah. the ship you obsessed over at 14 is SERIOUS business. the homoerotic rivalry they had was seriously unmatched. nobody talk to me

- adashi: haha. my first experience with being queerbaited. they buried the gays before the gays even had lines. i was so upset about adam that i consumed an insane amount of fan content and then wrote 10k words in one sitting. thats how upset they made me

- romellura: the gfs ever. the writers screwed allura over so every ship i have for her is… very fan-based. but i’ll protect them with my SOUL. the softness of meeting someone who knows EXACTLY the kind of loss you felt. finding comfort and home in each other.

- veracxa: sorry one more. VERACXA IS SO GOOD AND SO UNDERRATED. lance and veronica having the same taste is so funny. also love that veronica went out of her way to make acxa feel welcome. and their matching judgy stares. the older sister and sister in law. i KNOW lance was sweating

sorry for the long ass list. there’s lots of other platonic/familial relationships i enjoy in shows too i swear i’m not just insane 😭🙏. thank you so much for the ask!!

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knockyasocksoff2022 · 8 months ago

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ADA -> PM Switch deal fic poll

I already wrote a Tanizaki Port Mafia AU (where he decides to join on his own), so besides him, who should I write about. I'm talking about being selected for the transfer, not voluntarily joining. (Excluding Yosano, ofc as well as Kenji, and Kyouka b/c just nO!)

Might include ships, but might not depending on the person.

Here are some ways I think each member could be good in the PM:

FUKUZAWA

no extra training required

knows Mori

and is at least somewhat familar with Yokohama's underground

Kunikida and/or Ranpo could take over the ADA

he canonically has bloodlust

and only stopped killing because he knew it was BaD

people would be AFRAID

it's be really interetsing b/c if he goes Ranpo might follow

and then where would the ADA be?

Prob tortured Fukumori

slowburn (idk how good I am at writing slow burn but we'l see . . .)

rekindling of old failed toxic love that was killed before it could really get anywhere or see if it could bloom into sometjing pure

now they have to figure it out in their new circumstances

and if it even can work

but first they'll have to admit that there's still even the faintest hint of something there

and even then Mori will have to WORK for Fukuzawa's love (don't worry)

RANPO

while he has no combat training he is hella smart

we don't even need to say that

kind of reminds me of Elise

so i don't think Mori would have that much of a problem dealing with him

though i HIGHLY doubt mori would do that to Fukuzawa

unless he picked him because he actually wanted Fukuzawa and knew he’s volunteer in his place

ranpo could be and (somewhat is for the ADA) a brillaint strategist

he could be an analyst

the PM's enmies would cower in fear and so would any traitors

ranpo could deduce their location and plans in seconds

people would fear him for his mind alone

even if it took a bit for them to realise exactly how scary he actually so

if Mori did pick him Fukuzawa might follow him and transfer as well so . . .

Two for One?

I probably won’t write him b/c he’s already in the mafia in one of my other fics

but maybe I could write where Mori picks him and Fukuzawa volunteers instead

maybe Mori even knew that would happen.

either way, like i said, if he picks one he’ll prob get both

KUNIKIDA

he's organised and efficient so he could easily manage trading operations domestic and overseas

he's smart even if we may not see alot b/c of dazai and Ranpo

he could probably pickup languages easily

i think he'd be great at undercover work since he's actually capable of being subtle

and he used to being around *normal* people more and has better social skills

i feel like he's the type where he can look totally differnet with a diff hair style (or colour) or even if he just take soff his glasses or doesn't wear his little vest or something

and his ideals don't align exactly with the law, only what he thinsk is right

he’s willing to do what is necessary to get the job done

if joining the pm and controlling Yokohama’s underworld means less crime and violence overall then he’ll do it

i still think he wouldn’t kill but

he'd prob be really good at interrogation and combat missions that didn't involve killing (like theft or kidnapping for information/money or something)

I don't think he'd be the perfect fit but if they wrapped or broke him enough he could be absolutley terrifying in the mafia

No ships

Kuni has way higher standards (58 criteria to be percise) and these FREAKS meet none of them

DAZAI

people ahve so many opinions and theories that I'm not even going to get into this

his story, emotions, and lore are so complex I'm not even going to try b/c I feel like i won't do hima nd his character development justice

maybe some other time

NAOMI

I know I said I wouldn't do Junichirou

but if you're getting one, you're getting both

they're a package deal

and what's not to love

besides Jun's crazy killer skills

Noami is smart, savage and a little cruel (how she treats Jun when he's seasick) and unhinged

(thinking of the time she suggested Atsushi do sexual stuff for his entrance exam)

not to mention Dazai tutors her

if you can't have Dazai, why not have his student?

(I swear that's canon, correct me if I'm wrong though

)

she has the potential to be heartless, sadistic, and terrifying

She also likes to see people (Junichirou, at least) squirm and be uncomfortable or suffer to some extent.

idk

maybe that’s just their dYnAmIc though

(thinking again of how she treats him when he says no to her and is clearly uncomfortable. Also when she talks loudly and obviously about sexual stuff in front of others.

im not sure if it’s intentional or if she really is that insensitive or unaware of how it makes others feel

i suspect the former

I prob won't write her either

but maybe if I focus on her story more it won't seem TOO repetitive

Idk

what the people want, the people get

but we just know sooo painfuly little about her (aside from her in relation to Jun since their *thing* is kinda her whole personality *cringe*)

unlike some I still like her

If i did there would be no ships

idk even who to ship her with in the mafia

or maybe i'd be BOLD and go for the ewwie incest

idk

if not then prob very abckground Tachizaki

ATSUSHI

obviously, his ability

it's the full deal: stength, speed, agility, regeneration

the perfect partner for sskk

the thing last Mori needs for his SKK 2.0

his combat skills are a little haphazard (relying on brute force mostly) but Kunikida has been taring him in martial arts a little even though they have hardly has any time with all the CHOAS

you're prob thinking "NO WAY! He litterly says he needs to save people to live! That's liek hsi whole thing!"

you're right

but if Mori or the other executives wrapped him i think

b/c he's so insecure

they could convince him

(kind of like they did Kyouka, only her will is stronger than Atsushi's)

that violence and destruction and killing is his purpose and what he was born for.

But, I doubt Mori would go the route of telling him it's all he's good for and that if he doesn't do it, he's good for nothing again.

He knows it didn't work the first time and it's too easy to reverse esp since Atsushi has already been with the ADA.

I think Mori would set about convincing him that he deserves to let his anger out for all the world has done to him

that the world is his enemy and that he should punsih it

that people deserve his wrath for allowing a society where he could be treated the way he has been exists

Prob slowburn eventual SSKK

on this blog we say Aku is just fine, perfectly okay, and doing well

They're still going to fight like angry cats

Aku will prob realise his feelings when he finds himself misisng Atsushi's old personality

idk

meanwhile Atsushi is just drowning in the brainwash

the "bliss" of anger and he's too unaware even to fight it

still SSKK become partners

and knowing them, it's to the point where only they don't know they are together

them "not-dating" will prob be like their messed up theray and break Atsushi's trace or smth

maybe they hide the fact that he's not mid controlled or whatever form Mori

Atsushi might still decide to stay just to keep any other agency members form geing tansferred

and who knows he may even learn to like it

idk

i haven't thought to far ahead yet

it's too late and i should be in bed but

ANYWAYS here you go!

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #pm ada swap #ada member goes to the pm #ada to pm switch #it's too late and I can't tag #ada member transfers to the pm #bsd ada pm transfer deal #port mafia fukuzawa #port mafia ranpo #port mafia #bsd port mafia #port mafia kunikida #port mafia dazai #port mafia naomi #port mafia junishirou #port mafia tanizaki #port mafia atsushi

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theuntoldoriginsoftheportmafia · 7 months ago

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Part Ⅳ The Port Mafia - Chapter 4.4

✗ Who the hell is Edgar? ✗

7,884

(A/N: This is my favourite chapter, and yet, unfortunatley it is unfinished. It's not super connected to the rest of the plot though so you can read it and the next chapter will still make perfect sense. Pleas don't skip it though, I mean, you can if you want to but, I worked hard on it.)

It takes Ranpo minutes to solve the mystery in each novel. Fukuzawa groans, trying to hide his disappointment.

'I'll just have to try and find something else. And here I thought Poe-san sounded so promising.'

Unbeknownst to Fukuzawa, Ranpo is disappointed too.

'That's a shame. I knew I'd solve it easily, but the writing is really good, and the characters and the setting seem so real! I want to finish these, but it's impossible now that I already know what will happen. It'll just be boring, and I hate being bored.'

Both Ranpo and Fukuzawa sigh.

"No matter, you still have police work. Why don't you go and play with Elise? I'll find someone to pass these on to, maybe Dazai-san will find them an interesting read. They certainly seem dark enough for him." Fukuzawa eyes the novels wearily as he speaks. He hadn't realised exactly how dark the author's work was until he'd skimmed it, but Ranpo read the first parts of each one with joy. Sometimes the boy's tolerance of violence and black and white sense of right and wrong scares him.

Once, Ranpo, still learning to navigate the large Port Mafia headquarters, walked into one of Ozaki-san's torture sessions, not a pretty sight by anyone's standard. Even Poe-san, the writer of these troubling tomes, would flinch at her methods.

The young women being tortured had abandoned the mafia and started up a rival gang using their intel to try and take over the city's trading routes. Their leadership was clumsy at best and in doing so they had nearly brought havoc into the already fragile port city. Some American trillionaire was trying to buy up the gem trading routes, and they approached the women for a deal. If they had succeeded then it would tell foreign organisations that they were free to take chunks out of the city and eventually it would become a mess of warring foreign gangs.

When Fukuzawa realised what Ranpo had seen he attempted to comfort him, to which Ranpo replied with a shrug, "Eh, they deserved it. They were going to bring disorder and chaos back to our city. Why shouldn't they be punished?" And with that he'd taken another sweet from his pocket, popped it in his mouth and walked off, showing no sign of distress.

In the present, Ranpo looks at the books, conflicted. He doesn't know why but he doesn't like the idea of them being given away. "Fukuzawa-san, wait."

The man turns, surprised, "Yes, Ranpo?"

"I'll keep the books." There is something almost defiant in the teenager's voice.

"You will?" Fukuzawa's eyebrows raise of their own accord.

Ranpo turns to look out the window, suddenly embarrassed, though he can't place why. "Ah, well, it would be disrespectful to Poe-san, who spent so much time and effort to write these if I didn't even finish them, no?"

Ranpo isn't sure if that's a lie or not. The statement is objectively true, maybe? But there's no way for Poe-san to ever find out whether he's read the books or not, and an author so great would surely care not for the opinions of one young kid. And Ranpo has never cared much for what people thought before.

Both Ranpo and Fukuzawa are conscious of this sudden change in attitude, but neither put their feelings into words.

"The books weren't expensive, and money is hardly an issue. I won't be offended if you don't like them." Fukuzawa says. He knows how much Ranpo cares about him, and hates for the boy to force himself to like the present.

Ranpo doesn't answer, too busy thinking. 'I can't finish these. What's the point of finishing them? But I can't seem to make myself give them up either. Why? . . . Ugh. But isn't it ruder to let them go to waste sitting on my shelf instead of giving them to someone who can properly enjoy them?'

Ranpo can't decide.

'Since when has he cared for the feelings of strangers? The author will hardly know if he has finished the stories or not, so why? Or perhaps it's something else . . . do these mysteries remind him of his father, maybe? Yes, that must be it.'

Fukuzawa smiles sympathetically at his adopted son, he can see the conundrum and spares him the difficulty of answering a question requiring him to look inside himself.

"That's fine, Dazai-san can read them anytime. Good day, Ranpo-kun."

And with that, his mask is back on, and he's gone, leaving Ranpo alone with his thoughts.

It's nearly 22:00, Ranpo is normally asleep by 21:00, yet he lies wide awake, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom in his quiet home. Most of the house is perfectly adult, grand, and giving no indication that anyone under 20 resides there, but here, in the only child's bedroom, glow in the dark star stickers cover the walls.

Ever since birth, Ranpo has been unable to sleep in complete darkness, not out of fear, just simple inability. Maybe it's because he's always hated not being able to see everything, not knowing what's going on in his surroundings. Or maybe it's something else entirely.

After a year of sleepless nights, for both Ranpo and his parents, his mother put these stickers up. One would think that after nearly 17 years they would have stopped glowing or peeled off, but somehow they shine just as brightly as the first day they were bought.

Suddenly another light flashes, a more natural one. Lightning.

'Oh. A thunderstorm.' Ranpo notes this apathetically. He loves thunderstorms, but now he's too busy thinking of the books on his shelf, the first new ones he's gotten since his parents died.

He used to love books. Every night his mother and father would sit in his room, one on the foot of the bed and the other in the corner rocking chair, and take turns reading to him. Never mystery novels, those were too easy, but everything else. Fantasy, action, adventure, dystopian, science fiction. Ranpo didn't always understand them but he loved the sounds of his parent's voices and whenever he had a question they would stop and explain patiently while he drank in the new information hungrily. Sometimes, his father would simply sit and tell Ranpo about the case he was working. And those stories were by far the best.

Now he has no time to read, and he knows the endings to all the books anyway. Yet, when his parents were alive he loved to hear the same stories over and over and over again, to hear the way they would read it, the theatrical rise and fall as they did voices for each of the characters, reading it slightly differently each time.

Now the words just sound empty.

A draft swirls through the room.

"Ugh, I must've left the window cracked." Ranpo sighs, voicing his thoughts just to break the silence as he gets up to close it. As he does, another gust blows through, knocking down a stack of blankets.

He freezes.

Among the pile of cloth is a piece he hasn't seen in a long time. A green and white throw woven in a zig-zag pattern, with tasselled ends. He remembers how they tickled when he would brush against his mother as she sat with him.

Feeling suddenly heavy with emotions he picks the fabric up, burying his face in it. Nostalgia washes over him. Having been hidden in the stack of other blankets for so long it still smells like his mother, her minty conditioner, the same kind Ranpo now uses but a little different, mixed with her gentle but distinctive perfume to create a smell that is effortlessly Hirai Tohru.

Thunder shakes the quiet room and Ranpo's cheeks feel wet as if the rain is inside.

"Oh, yeah, the . . ."

With clumsy movements, he closes the window, just before the raindrops soak the wooden floor. But the wetness doesn't stop.

"Am I . . .?"

Ranpo reaches up to his face, feeling the tears with surprise. He hasn't cried in a while.

There's a soft tapping on the door, a gentle rapping. Lenore wants in, to comfort Ranpo in her own bird way.

"It's . . . okay, Len, I'm . . . fine" Ranpo manages, not sure why he's bothering to hide his sobs from a bird.

When the door is cracked the large raven flies in, landing on the shelf, right next to the new nooks. She taps them curiously with her beak.

Hesitantly, Ranpo wraps his mother's blanket around him, sitting himself on the window seat to watch the rain. A memory overtakes him, a comforting quilt of several memories.

His mother sitting on this very same window seat with young Ranpo in her lap, the two of them staring out at the rain together, watching the lighting in fascination, counting to see how far away the winter storm was.

Then again in Spring watching the wildflowers bloom, colourful buds rising up from the weeds.

And in Autumn watching the leaves turn brown and float gracefully to the ground.

In all the seasons watching the small animals, the rabbits and the squirrels and the birds, pass by the window. Patiently she'd nod and smile and answer as he pointed out each one and asked its name, and when he got too sleepy she'd start pointing them out until he drifted off.

"M-mum." Ranpo whispers, voice cracked from the tears.

He hates crying and being sad and how his throat and stomach hurt from sobbing and how his vision gets all blurry.

Maybe he's going crazy, but he can hear his mother's voice.

"The best part of any story isn't the end, it's how you get to the end. Sometimes it's nice to read the same thing over and over again, to live in the story and with the characters, simply because it's warm and familiar and because it makes you happy. It doesn't matter that you already know how it ends, all that matters is the journey of reading it. That is something that never gets old. You can soak up the turns of phrase and details, and fall, for a time, into another world. To me, that's one of the most beautiful things a human can experience."

This is what his mother had told him as he fell asleep the night before her death. He'd had a fever that day and everything felt fuzzy around the edges. He hated being ill even then, hated the stuffy nose, and itchy scratchy throat, and the feeling of being weighed down. But when his parents read to him all of it seemed to go away as he was pulled into the novel and suddenly he was as good as new inside of the fictional world.

When morning came his mother made him stay in bed instead of coming with her and his father into the city. Even his favourite cartoon couldn't entertain him, he was so eager for their return with the promised sweets and new books.

Now in his dark room, Ranpo can hear his own voice, a younger version weeping tears of longing.

With his fever broken, but still in bed, he was bored and resorted to pacing the longest corridor in the house. He kept pacing, repeating his path exactly every time, waiting for his parent's return, with a determination that many adults lack.

Eventually, he knew it had been too long, his parents had never left him for such a great length of time, and knowing this his pacing intensified until he was running back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then, out of breath, he was out of the door desperate to find them with no idea how. All alone he stood on the hill overlooking the city, cold air stinging his tear damp cheeks, the scream stinging his throat.

And he knew like he knew every other thing he figured out so easily. He knew his longing was pointless and so it turned to grief, the feeling more vast than the city sprawling out beneath him.

The memory feels suffocating, the sobs so frequent Ranpo can hardly breathe through his burning lungs and chest. He doesn't want to think of this. Why can't he stop? He just wants it to stop! How can he make it stop?

He does the first thing he can think of, grabbing the first book in reach. He's tempted to throw it, but his respect for books is ingrained too deep, so he opens it to the first page and begins to read.

It's one of Poe-san's novels.

It starts just how Ranpo remembers it from earlier today, but the strangest feeling comes over him. A feeling of relaxation. Now that he doesn't have to worry about how it ends he's free to notice the little things. The way the character is described with certain details so purposefully left out or included is very careful, a story crafted with love and care. It reminds him of the way his father used to tell stories and suddenly his tears don't hurt so much.

With each drop that falls his father's voice becomes clearer, his own internal monologue taking on Hirai Kogorou's voice until it's his father reading him the book.

The sun begins to rise just as Ranpo closes the book. He finds himself disappointed that the novel, which looked so long at first glance, is over already. He looks out the window, sees the colourful sky, and realises with a start that he spent all night reading.

'I thought I would be bored but I wasn't! I wasn't bored at all! That was great! Mum was right, the middle is much better than the end! I should read another one.'

As Ranpo finishes the thought a yawn overtakes him. He huffs. It also becomes clear that his head is throbbing.

'All that crying really tired me out, at this rate I won't be able to keep my eyes open. I think if I look at another page, I might faint. Argh, and there's still work . . .'

"Wait, sleep deprivation counts as an illness right?" Ranpo asks the room.

Lemore caws back, seeming to nod her head in confirmation.

"Great! I'll just call in sick."

Dragging himself up from the comfy position, Ranpo retrieves his phone from its charger and dials Fukuzawa.

"Yes, Ranpo?" Fukuzawa sounds barely awake.

'Oh, right, it's still early for him. Oops.'

"Fukuzawa-san, I'm not feeling well, so I can't come in today."

Ranpo's voice is still gravelly from the sobbing fit and now slurred while sleep overtakes his body.

Fukuzawa is immediately concerned., not questioning the early call-in time, "Not feeling well? Do you have a fever?"

Ranpo rolls his eyes, appreciating the concern but not wanting to extend the conversation any further, the crackly quality of voices coming through phone speakers is only exacerbating his headache. "No. It's just a small cold. I'll be in by tomorrow."

"Alright . . . but don't push yourself if you aren't feeling better by tomorrow. Come in when you feel absolutely healthy again."

Ranpo has to smile at the leader's concern. "Yup."

With that he hangs up, falling into bed, disappearing into dreams.

He dreams of fictitious worlds, beating hearts, wine cellars, black cats and his father with him, a face to go with the voice, the two solving the mysteries side by side. He hasn't dreamt his father's face so clearly in a long time.

He wakes up in tears again, a softer kind of crying this time, the tears gentle displays of his happiness. It's dark out again, and thankfully Ranpo is still tired.

'There is hope yet for my sleep schedule. It's not quite my normal bedtime though, I'll wait an hour. But what to do until then . . .'

He sighs shakily, thinking of all the emotions he's felt in the small span of 24 hours. He can't deny that these books have, beyond a doubt, moved him.

'I know! I'll write a praising letter to Poe-san!' Ranpo smiles at the thought. He adores praise, so it must be the perfect gift.

Lenore circles the room, grabbing paper and pencil and dropping them on Ranpo's desk. He thanks the bird with a treat from the glass jar.

Then he begins to write.

"Dear Poe-san,

I really liked all of your novels, even though the mysteries were somewhat predictable and took me barely a minute to solve, (it's hardly unexpected since I am the Greatest Detective in the World) I still had an amazing time reading. Your characters are so well written, I'd like to live in a world like that. The simple, chronological world of a novel where everything that happens has a reason behind it that makes sense.

Maybe if I lived in a novel my parents would still be here with me, or maybe their deaths were all part of some greater plot that I have yet to deduce.

Anyway, I've never finished reading a book since they passed. I always figure out the ending long before the story is over and I never saw the point of reading further after that, so I have a bunch of barely-read books on my shelf. Because of you, I'm going to read all of them!

Getting praise is one of my favourite things in the world, so I thought I'd write this letter to you. I hope you like it."

Ranpo could end the letter there but something deep inside of him makes him continue.

"Reading your novels reminded me of when my parents used to read to me when I was younger and to be honest it made me cry. A lot. Reading your work made me feel as if my mother and father were right beside me. So congratulations, Poe-san, you're now one of the few people who can make me cry. That's a real achievement, be proud of yourself, and keep writing books so I can read them!

~ The Greatest Detective in the World"

Ranpo folds the letter into an envelope happily, unaware that some of his comments could come off quite offensively. He also pays no mind to the fact that the letter is written in Japanese, a language which it is unlikely that Poe speaks, but who knows? Maybe things will work out anyway.

'In the morning I'll ask one of the goons to find his address.'

Still smiling, Ranpo falls back into bed.

In the morning Fukuzawa greets him, fretting until Ranpo shakes him off. He's not sure why, but he doesn't want Fukuzawa to know what happened. This feels too personal. And he's eager to send his letter so he hurries past, brushing him off.

Fukuzawa tries not to take it personally.

'Ranpo must still be grumpy. I'm sure some sweets will cheer him up.'

The lower floors of the Port Mafia are both darker and lighter than the upper floors. They hold less pure evil but are also farther from the sun. Ranpo's mask, a white Greek theatre mask with its mouth twisted into an uncomfortable-looking smile, seems to glow in the dimly lit corridor.

On one of these lower floors is a small cubicle belonging to a man by the name of Sakaguchi-san. He has a precious sort of gift, not very much use in active combat but still a nice asset to have. Discourse on Decadence it's called. An information extraction ability, making Sakaguchi-san the best out of all the analysts working under Ranpo, or rather pretending to.

Sakaguchi-san is a spy. Ranpo knows this, but it just makes him all the more useful, he has information not only from the Port Mafia but also the Special Operations Division for Unusual Powers and its international network. Sakaguchi-san will surely know the address of Edgar Allan Poe since the author has been involved in an ability user case.

Ranpo opens the door, knowing Sakaguchi-san will be inside. Sakaguchi-san is always inside. He looks up with tired eyes, not bothering to flinch at the mask, he's too exhausted.

"Ah, Clairvoyant-san. What can I help you with?"

"I need you to find someone for me."

With the help of a young ability using back alley hacker Sakaguchi-san met a few months back, finding someone will be no trouble.

—

The letter arrives at Mr. Poe's home exactly 3 days later.

He wouldn't have even bothered to check but on his way back inside from some errands his racoon, Karl, the physical manifestation of his ability, notices the peculiar black envelope with its blood red wax seal sticking out from his mailslot. The fuzzy mammal pulls the envelope from the slot with his mouth, and scampers up his master's shoulders to finish the delivery.

"Oh! Why, thank you Karl."

'What could this be? I never receive mail. Mr. Fitzgerald maybe? No, he would never bother with something like this, and he has my number.'

Thoroughly mystified, Mr. Poe takes the letter into his study, opening it carefully with a tarnished, antique letter opener.

He looks at the note, it's written in swoopy characters. He recognises them as Kanji.

'Something from Japan? Is it from Gelhart Security Services? Couldn't they just send a message through Mr. Fitzgerald. No, they would have written in English anyways. Oh! Oh, what if someone else found out . . .'

He refers to Francis Fitzgerald, older than Poe but still a young man at only 22 and a half who hopes to establish an organisation for ability users he calls The Guild. He approached Poe after finding out about his ability from an anonymous source.

Poe was worried, terrified. He's kept his secret so well for so long, dictating his novels to an unaware typist just to avoid any mishaps.

Mr. Fitzgerald told him the anonymous informant had seemed friendly, and that they had said not to have told anyone else of Poe's ability. It seemed they were trying to help out. Mr. Fitzgerald couldn't, even with all his resources, track down the informant but no one else had approached Poe so it was assumed they were telling the truth.

Shaking his head to clear away the anxious thoughts he begins to read.

Languages have always come easily to him, and he's been diligently studying Japanese ever since Mr. Fitzgerald offered him a Guild adjacent position, hoping that when The Guild is fully established, Poe would join. The position involves heading up a security service that the billionaire recently bought. The service is located in Yokohama, Japan and was originally funded by the German government but went underground when the subsidy ended, which was unfortunately shortly after Mr. Fitzgerald bought it. The man was warned that there must be something wrong for the company to sell for that cheap but he was optimistic, a fault he's still learning to overcome. Not liking the idea of owning a company responsible for illegal activities Mr. Fitzgerald paid Poe to go and straighten them out.

Why did he pick Poe? The author has no idea.

"It's alright if they pillage the occasional gang warehouse now and then, but having armed robbers on my payroll is not a very nice look. If they operate in the criminal world let them at least do so with more subtlety. Don't you agree? And think, this will be an excellent chance to experience a culture so different from the West." is what Mr. Fitzgerald had said.

Now Poe is thankful he'd started learning the small country's language. He can understand every word but even still he reads it through thrice just to be sure he has it right.

'P-predictable! He solved it in MINUTES!? N-no. No way. This "Detective" must be lying. T-that's not possible . . .' Poe's thoughts turn desperate. He is the greatest mystery novel writer. He is. His work is NOT predictable.! No one can take this, certainly not some random stranger who writes as if he isn't over the age of 13. This has to be some joke, it has to be. His mysteries have to be interesting and engaging. He has to be the best, nothing less is acceptable, nothing less would make his father acknowledge him. 'he couldn't have . . .'

Poe starts to hyperventilate, spiralling into his mind, his head getting foggy.

'Calm yourself, calm yourself, calm yourself. Edgar Allan Poe! Calm yourself at once!'

He breathes deeply, concentrating as hard as he can on steadying his breath and with each inhale and exhale he shoves the inadequacy down into a mental box. He imagines it as an ornately decorated treasure chest, beautiful but filled with evil. He may resent the box and all that fills it, but it does the job.

When he reviews the letter once more, with a semi-clear mind it really is very sweet, assuming any of it is true.

'My books . . . made this boy cry?' Poe doesn't know what to do with this information, he never thought anyone would find his gory tales emotionally stirring. 'He still enjoyed my books, despite their claims of its predictability . . . is that perhaps what really matters? No. I must find out what happened!

But still . . . he gave such praise. I have never received a letter like this one. What was the point? To insult me and then give me the highest compliment, saying that I changed him so deeply, is this boy mentally unstable? What happened to his parents? What's with the "Greatest detective in the World" thing? He says my books led him back into his love of reading and he did seem quite eager. He said he wants me to write more books, for him to read! ' Poe feels a warmth spreading in his chest at the encouragement. There is something cute, he thinks, about being referred to with the Japanese honorific. And then there's the biggest question of all: 'S-should I . . . write back?'

Poe feels foolish as he types World's Greatest Detective, Japan into the search bar on his computer.

A slew of Japanese news articles come up, all about a man called The Clairvoyant. At first, it looks promising until Poe notices the dates.

'No, this isn't right. This man would be much too old to have written a letter in such a carefree, childish style.' Poe thinks as he looks at one of the few pictures taken of Hirai Kogorou. He frowns. He needs to know who has outwitted him.

So he does the only thing he can: write back. Determined to hide his confusion and desperation behind politeness he begins the letter by thanking the detective for his praise and then starts questioning him.

'It's unlikely that I'll get an answer especially since the man didn't even include his name and the return address was a fake, but I have to try. Maybe if I question his intelligence enough he'll take the bait and write me back? Hopefully . . . Ah, this is quite pathetic, but what else can I do?'

With shaky hands, he puts his message onto paper.

"Dear "Greatest Detective in the World",

I want to start this letter by asking you to forgive any errors I may make, I only started studying Japanese a few months ago, so if I seem to be struggling to get my point across or if any of my phrasing doesn't make sense or seem as elegant as it is in my published works, that is why.

To begin I will say that I was quite shocked when I received your letter as getting mail is a rare event for me, particularly in this new digital age, so thank you for surprising me.

Now, as to the contents of your writing, those were a surprise as well. I thank you for your compliments, but some of your other comments confused me.

Most who read my novels are sufficiently stumped by them, as is my reputation. I am the author whose carefully thought through prose keeps readers unaware, basking, lost and confused in its beauty until the very last page. So, forgive me if I find it hard to believe that you have so easily cracked the code to these mysteries.

Who on earth are you? How old are you, because, if you're just a kid, then please stop joking around. Nobody finds you funny.

What reason do you have for claiming the title of "World's Greatest Detective"? Isn't that a title that others should give you, not yourself (there are no news articles about you)? What have you done to earn it? What makes you think you're so smart?

But of course, I don't mean to be rude, not at all. All good authors must learn from and enjoy the opinions and feedback from fans and critics alike. What exactly makes you feel my mysteries are predictable? How did you work them out? I'd like to know.

~ Sincerely, E.A. Poe

P.S. I feel rude addressing you as Detective-san, so If you don't mind. I would like to know your name, even if just your surname or whatever you'd like me to call you by."

Satisfied with this he seals the blood-red envelope with black wax seal of the Poe family crest.

A few days later Ranpo receives the letter. He opens it growing amused as he reads the contents. He can see the desperation in Poe's handwriting. Cruel satisfaction rises inside of him at having bested one of America's genius writers. He isn't known in the mafia as The Clairvoyant for no reason.

He's smiling as he scrawls his letter.

"Dear Poe-san,

I'd like for you to call me The Greatest Detective in the World or The World's Greatest Detective, either is fine.

Your Japanese is very good, you must be studying really hard. That's probably the one thing you're better at than me. I've picked up some Korean and a tiny bit of Chinese since my job involves international clients but I'm miserable at learning languages.

I did indeed solve the mysteries in your books, but you shouldn't feel bad because I am The World's Greatest Detective. I can't tell you much about myself, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Don't bother searching me up online again, you still won't find anything.

For your second question: While I did initially crown myself with this title, the police I aid, all agree with me, as well as my colleagues and subordinates. I solve criminal cases and deduce all sorts of information in seconds. That's how I solved your novel.

But I will tell you this,"

Ranpo proceeds to list exactly how he figured the mystery out, his smile growing as he does.

"So that's how I did it. I hope you're satisfied!

Write something else for me, okay. Something actually hard to solve.

~ The Greatest Detective in the World"

When Poe receives the reply he had been pacing with anticipation for, he doesn't bother with the formality of a letter opener, tearing the envelope open with his hands and retrieving the letter. Karl nibbles curiously at the scraps of envelope.

He ignores the put-down about languages, growing more confused as he reads the detective's reply.

He's learnt a few things but none of them are helpful in identifying this mysterious man.

1) He is work involves clients, some of them from other countries (across Asia at least)

2) He works with the police. ('Is he some sort of agent of Interpol? That would explain how he'd found my address, particularly since I was recently involved in a criminal case recently. I think there was even a new article about it.')

3) He has people working under him, but also people at his level so he must be at least somewhat high ranked, even if not at the highest rank.

4) He is very very very observant and very very very smart.

5) Outwitting him is probably hopeless.

'How did he know I'd searched him up? Well, I guess it's a fair assumption, that is what most people would do.'

So Poe writes back. This time he has a plan, a plan of vengeance, a plan to ensure that he and he alone is the best. In this letter, he sends a fragment of his new novel under the guise that he wants to see if Ranpo can truly deduce the ending without the entire text, a way to ensure no cheating.

The truth is that the fragment is infused with his ability, Black Cat in the Rue Morgue. His ability allows him to transport anyone into his novels, all they have to do is read a single word. He can even transport them into a book that wasn't written by him, so long as it's one they're currently reading. They can only get out until they solve the conflict of the story, usually a crime or other mystery, seeing as that's Poe's favourite genre, and explain the answer aloud, but this book is different.

This story isn't a mystery, there's no crime to solve. Poe plans for the man who's defeated his novels to die in this story, transported in by a page from the novel he's crafted for this specific purpose, never to return to the outside world. Thus sealing his position as the greatest mystery author.

As Poe sticks his letter in the public post box (he has to use it because the post carriers don't bother checking his house anymore), he hesitates.

'Should I really go through with this? I've never committed murder on someone who I have every reason to believe is completely innocent, maybe even an officer of the law, before? Is this the right thing? And if by some miracle, he doesn't die he could reveal the fact that I have an ability . . . oh! What to do, what to do, what to do?! . . . It will all be fine. What could possibly go wrong? I must go through with this if I am to be the best, and I MUST be the best. There is no other way. Unless I become the best, my father will never acknowledge me.'

Poe slips the envelope in. He is the best and he will stay the best, His father will eventually have to accept him. And when he does he'll come to visit his son whom he abandoned before his first birthday . . . and that's when Poe will kill him. Maybe slit his throat right there, maybe trap him in a novel to starve, or get mauled by beasts. Either way, it will be a pain equivalent to what Poe and his mother experienced.

His mother, his poor mother. She could barely get out of bed after her husband left and eventually, she succumbed to pneumonia, it wasn't exactly a quick death. Poe was only two years of age at the time. He shouldn't be able to remember anything, but he does. He remembers how he watched her take increasingly difficult breaths, he watched the life drain out of her with each laboured exhale and listened to her fever-slurred words of affection to him as she died. Maybe it's because of his ability, maybe he had an eidetic memory even then.

Poe will kill that wretched man, and no one, Interpol or otherwise, is going to stop him.

With his shoulders set, his heart steeled and his mind a little manic but determined, he drops the letter in, walking quickly back to his home. Inside he's greeted by one of his many bookcases, volume after volume, spine after spine, and he's read them all, and he will probably do so again. They remind him of the detective's first letter.

"I've never finished reading a book since they passed. I always figure out the ending long before the story is over and I never saw the point of reading further after that, so I have a bunch of barely read books on my shelf. Because of you, I'm going to read all of them!"

Poe stops in his tracks, the thought sending ice through his veins. The detective will never finish reading any of those books . . . because of him.

'Ah, it can't be helped. This is absolutely necessary.' Poe assures himself, yet still he feels the sadness building up inside him like footsteps descending into a dark cavern or bricks being added to a wall. The turning of phantom pages echoes through the house.

'At least I have Karl. Karl will be my friend forever!'

He shakes away the thoughts, slinging his jacket over the back of his chair and kicking off his boots, far more carelessly than he would ever be ordinarily. Feeling a little lighter he heads straight to the large mahogany cabinet in his barely used sitting room. After all, nothing goes better with murder than underage drinking.

Poe stands for a moment in front of the piece of furniture, the windows, decorated with swirling patterns, make him dizzy despite his sobriety. Slowly he takes the key from the top of the cabinet, which he's only recently been tall enough to reach flatfooted or without shoes, and turns it in the lock. The cabinet opens with a resounding click revealing the mostly still full bottles of sparkling alcohol inside.

Aside from the occasional murder, Poe wouldn't consider himself a lawbreaker. In all his time living alone, he hadn't touched his father's stash of expensive liquor. He'll legally be able to in only two years, but right now he just wants to feel the exhilaration of intoxication which he's heard so much about from books, telly, and older friends. Yes, he knows the expensive whiskey is wasted on a young and inexperienced pallet like his but this was his father's so he gives about zero fucks.

Forgoing the fancy crystal glasses he grabs his favourite mug, (with a raccoon wearing a witch's hat and riding on a broom) and fills it with the strongly scented brown liquor. He downs it in five gulps. It burns like when you put an alcohol swab too close to your nose or bite your nails after using hand sanitiser, only so much worse. It leaves him sputtering and gasping for breath, hacking so hard he sounds like a certain black and white-haired inhabitant of Yokohama.

Even still, his veins fill with a comforting warmth, as if there's a miniscule fire roaring through him. When he recovers himself, he pours another mug. This one, Karl knocks from his hand, chittering angrily. Poe knows it's impossible (is it), because Karl's a racoon, but somehow he wears an expression that's so human. A look of disappointment, and . . . worry. The mug, thankfully, lands on the carpet, but the noise reverberates uncomfortably inside Poe's skull and the liquor spills out over the floor.

" . . . H-hey, whu zat for?' he slurs.

Karl, very smart for a raccoon, grabs the bottle cork and uses his paws to push it in, then takes the neck between his teeth and scampers off.

" . . . Eh? W-waaaait givit back!"

The racoon doesn't turn, but seems to shake his head as he disappears into the darkness. Poe could summon him back, he lacks the faculties to do much of anything right now. He starts after his pet and the bottle of liquor but all the doors are closed and he can't seem to remember how to open them. So, with a great amount of effort he staggers to his room and falls into bed, red faced, and still fully clothed.

'It . . . will be . . . so sad . . . to say goodbye . . . to my dear detective . . . when . . . he was . . . the one . . . to get the most . . . out of . . . my novels' Poe thinks drunkenly, a sad sort of smile on his face as sleep overtakes him.

(A/N: Author-san doesn't drink, certainly not fancy alcohol, so R.I.P. these descriptions, lmao.

Also for anyone wondering, Poe can tell Ranpo's gender despite not leaving his name because of his use of the personal pronoun "boku".

I have a HC that Karl is the manifestation of Poe's ability, like Elise is of Mori's. This is because Karl seems to be way smarter than a typical racoon and able to do things intuitively that normal racoons can't without extensive training. Karl normally has behaviour and habits of a normal raccoon, but when he senses Poe's in danger (say of alcohol poisoning) he becomes almost human-like.)

—

Ranpo expects the reply and is pleased when it comes. He may or may not have intentionally used inflammatory phrasing just to ensure his dialogue with the author, an admittedly great mind, would continue.

'Such a shame that he feels such animosity towards me. It's not like it's my fault his mysteries are simple. Mori-san would be pleased with my underhandedness.'

In his office he opens the letter, pausing to take a bite of a candy bar, then he sets his eyes on it. As soon as he processes the first word he feels himself being sucked down, down down.

'What the—? What's going on? Is this some sort of trap?'

Before he can finish his thought he lands in a new world. It doesn't materialise around him like something new, instead it stays static and stable as any earthly room or scene, as if it has already been long established and Ranpo is the outsider.

'Since when did isekai become a real thing?' Ranpo scoffs as he takes in his new surroundings.

He's outside. The day is warm and the sky is blue, dotted with perfectly shaped white clouds, like cotton balls or candy floss. The rolling hills are alive with grass of vibrant green and wildflowers add brillant pops of colour. Majestic oak trees sway in the gentle breeze providing shade, on one tree there is a swing secured to a branch.

To the side of the house is a small lake, it ripples slowly jiggling the lily pads that float upon its surface. A crane stands at the edge and frogs splash happily until the crane spears one of them violently with its beak and gulps it down.

There's something unsettling about the place. He feels it in his bones, but Ranpo can't point out what it is specifically. It's already driving him mad. Everything looks as it should be but he can feel something underneath like a thrumming evil. He files the information away for later and continues observing.

In front of Ranpo is a road, a driveway and it leads up to a large mansion. The mansion is a beautiful grand place with new paint and trim, light shines from within the spotless windows, and smoke rises charmingly from the chimney. It's perfect.

Too perfect, apart from one thing, the single imperfection in the utopic vignette.

A thin crack extends from the house's intricately tiled roof, down the front of the house, just missing the front door, and disappearing into the lake.

'Now that isn't right.' Ranpo wants to be pleased that he's found something to justify his unease, but he can't shake said unease enough to be pleased.

He's a Port Mafia executive as well as a police consultant, he's seen more gore and death than most, yet he scarcely thinks of it again, but this sickly peace sends a shiver through him.

At the same time, he feels too hot. And the seams on his clothes, usually hardly noticeable (and picked for that very reason) are suddenly very irritating. He whines and tugs at his shirt surprised when he finds a thicker material. Wool.

"Ack!" He squirms quickly out of the heavy suit jacket and begins loosening the tie, and unbuttoning the vest. After he's shed the layers, he runs to the edge of the lake, shaking his hands and arms out a bit manically at the new freedom. The crane doesn't startle, instead looks him dead in the eyes before returning to its hunt for frogs.

On the surface of the lake, Ranpo stares, aghast at his reflection. He's wearing a three-piece suit, a term he only knows because of his father's love for the Sherlock Holmes series. He reaches for his glasses and realises they aren't in his pockets, instead there's something smooth.

He takes it out. It's a folded sheet of paper, almost identical to the one he held only minutes ago, but this one is faded and creased. It tells him that he was asked to visit this strange place by a friend suffering from a mysterious illness alongside his sister.

'Perhaps my "friend" can help?' Ranpo thinks doubtfully.

He walks up the drive until he arrives at the front door, like his own home, it has a knocker, which he uses to rap thrice on the heavy wooden door.

Someone answers just after the third knock. A man, tall and slender and looking quite pale, his brown locks are frizzy and slightly matted, and barely visible beneath a stringy fringe are his eyes, which Ranpo guesses are dull murky brown on a good day, marred by dark circles.

(A/N: For those of you wondering, yes Poe did subconsciously model the main character after himself because of his desire to meet Ranpo.)

"Oh, Hello friend. Thank God you arrived on time, and with all this terrible weather. It's truly a miracle indeed."

"What?" Ranpo looks behind him. There's only the sunny, perfect sky and that seemingly never ending road behind him.

"The weather, the storms, the lighting? Haven't you noticed? It's rather hard to miss, is it not? Are you quite alright?" The man sounds frantic, his voice cracking and when he runs his hand through his hair, his fringe pulls away, revealing fevered eyes. "Well, I really must insist you get inside. You're getting soaked."

"Oh, uh, yeah."

More creeped out than ever, Ranpo tries to peer around the man and see into the cracked house. Behind the owner is what must be the house's main staircase. The bainsters are chipped and crumbling away, the carpet is torn and rotten. Broken, flickering lamps, slashed, red stained paintings and animal heads in various states of decay line the walls.

Ranpo knows it's not a good idea to go in there, but having no other choice, he enters. Immediately as his foot crosses the threshold he feels the dampness seep into his clothes. He is, in fact, soaked.

Inside the house, everything is different. The mansion is what can only described as decadent. The stairs shine, perfectly polished with soft maroon linear carpet. The sconces give the foyer a soft glow, perfectly lighting the charming landscape paintings and mounted animals heads, unharmed on their plaques.

'Unharmed aside from the fact that their heads are no longer attached to their bodies.'

The friend directs Ranpo to a perfecty fluffy sofa. He knows he shouldn't sit, no matter how safe it looks. If there was ever a time to get a bad feeling, it's now.

"Oh, I'm quite stiff from my travels, I'd prefer to stand."

"Of course, I shall prepare some tea." the man leaves. Ranpo realises that he doesn't know his name. The letter was only signed "your friend".

When Ranpo looks out the window he sees the most disturbing things of all. The day is now dark, the sky black with heavy clouds, lighting striking fiercely, trees swaying and the flowers blown over. He can even hear the creaking of the swings, and the rippling of the pond mixed in with the flap of wings.

Frantically he runs for the door. The man was right, it is raining. But as soon as Ranpo steps out of the threshold, the day is calm again.

"My friend? Are you determined to catch your death out there?"

Ranpo turns, quite startled. "No, . . . I was simply investigating what could be the cause of your illness. You were right, this weather isn't good for anyone."

To Be Continued . . .

(A/N: The next chapter is finished. It's a separate storyline so don't worry it will make sense.)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd au #bungou stray dogs au #bungo stray dogs au #bsd alternate universe #bungou stray dogs alternate universe #bungo stray dogs alternate universe #port mafia edogawa ranpo #port mafia ranpo edogawa #port mafia ranpo #bsd ranpoe #ranpoe

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kitkatnerds3 · 1 year ago

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BSD S5 EP 9

I have not finished the episode yet but I've just gotten to the Fukufuku backstory (specifically the part where they just met and its night and they're lying on the floor together) and, these two are fucking dark timeline Renga from sk8! 'The way of the sword is enjoyable!' and 'I'm going to master the sword alongside you' vs 'skating is fun!' and 'I want to skate with you infinitely' I swear Fukuchi even did the same hand movement that Reki did at some point. Energetic sunshine (at least at the moment) x calm and collected. I am getting such strong Renga vibes from that scene and it's driving me insane.

OK I JUST WATCHED TWO (2) SECONDS FURTHER AND NOW WE'RE IN A FUCKING SHOJO ANIME! BONES LOVES OLD MAN YAOI SO MUCH! THIS IS SO GAY! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!? A CHERRY BLOSSOM PETAL IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART JUST FELL INTO FUKUZAWAS SAKE(?) AND THEN BROKE INTO TWO. THEY'RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE WITH THE 'THIS (ROMANTIC) RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT TO GO O SHIT' -NESS

DONT DO SYMBOLISM WITH THE FUCKING BIRDS YOU DUMB SHOW! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING! For context, they were having a conversation but the focus was on these two egrets? herons? anyways, and then one of them just flew off when Fukuchi said that he was gonna be promoted and sent to the battlefield , which is what separated these two. I'm going to die, I'm not entirely sure why but I am. /pos

Fuck it, I'm committing to the live blog. enjoy seeing my live uncut reactions folks!

The animation is so pretty bro, bones adores their old man yaoi.

Ok, old man yaoi backstory is over , and before I move on to the next thing I just wanna say, young Fukuzawa was so fucking cute! He was an old man even when he was a baby! he was adorable! and honestly so was Fukuchi! I'm very sad that he became the way he is now, war really does stuff to people, huh?

Ok I'm a little bit confused, I didn't realize that he had told that United Nations guy the half-truth. But whatever, that's on me I guess.

OK! JESUS FUCK THE MORE I HERE ABOUT THE WAR THE WORSE IT GETS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SOLDIERS HAD TO EAT EACHOTHER AND WERE SHOT FOR TRYING TO DESERT! MAYBE I SHOUD HAVE EXPECTED THAT IT IS WAR BUT JESUS CHRIST!

God, Fukufuku are so gay. I know that stabbing someone isn't exactly romantic but he Fukuzawa did the thing where you grab onto the other persons clothes and after Fukuchi stabbed him his head ended up resting on his chest. This is PEAK romantic tradgedy.

Teruko, I love you. She looks so pretty and she is so hecking smart and I just adore her. She let Atsushi go! Woohoo!! Also, Atsushi's hallucinations are really coming in full force, huh? He is seeing so many people.

Dazai and Sigma are so silly, I love them, Dazai stop flirting for two fucking seconds challenge. Also, it's fun to hear that Dazai is screwing around with Sigma while thinking of Kunikida! Truly every ship is being fed this season! Except sskk, but we did get Aku in Atsushi's hallucinations doing a thing so that's kinda a win for the gays!

Wow! What a nice elevator! I'm sure nothing bad will happen here!

Oh catgirl, you left us too soon.

I must say, I don't really have much to say on the Meursault section. It was good! The animation was great as it usually is for the Meursault sections, Sigma was so pretty I love him and! Dazai did the thing where he played with Sigma's hair! Woo! Fyodor was his usual level of kinda ugly in anime form, Dazai is showing emotions! more of the sillies, Dazai fucking stood on Sigma, which is delightful, aaaaaaand it's started to flood! Fuck!

Anyways, back to the very start of this episode before I was overcome by the homosexual-ness of Fukufuku, Aya Bram Kunikida and Tanizaki got yoinked! Fuck! I still have a theory that Tanizaki could be doing an illusion and I will make a post about it one day. And also, please excuse me for saying this because while I am still upset about Ranpo being hurt... watching Fukuchi pick him up by the scruff of his neck like a cat was kinda hilarious. Also, Teruko I love you. You're the only hunting dog that heard about Fukuchi's real identity and didn't immediately die. Girlboss fr. Also also, where are Lucy Kyouka and Yosano :D? W-where did they go? Asagiri please I need to see my girls.

And to once again revisit the old gays, Holy Shit that was so gay. Nobody told me that the Fukufuku backstory was a Sports Anime tm that turned into a war drama in the second season! I knew we said they were divorced but I never realized just how married they were before the separation! Wow! Fukuzawa smiled so softly at Fukuchi! They were such sweet kids! Aagh!

This was a good episode! I liked this! Excited for next Wungo Wednesday!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd season 5 #bsd fukuzawa #bsd fukuchi #bsd fukufuku #sk8 renga #bsd teruko #bsd dazai #bsd sigma #bsd fyodor #good episode! :D

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flaresanimedump · 2 years ago

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Ranpo who's madly in love with Fukuzawa but thinks he can't have him. Ranpo devoting his life to Fukuzawa but resigning himself to live the life Fukuzawa infers he should - one day Ranpo will get married and Fukuzawa will retire and they'll only see each other every other weekend and Ranpo will live for those rare moments. He'll accept it when he loses Fukuzawa and go on living.

But every time something really, life-threateningly bad happens he fucks it up. He goes mad and challenges enemies who could crush him if he was just a little less manic, he jeopardizes the things Fukuzawa holds dear, he steps into the line of fire himself rather than let Fukuzawa fall.

After one of these times, after he's nearly died saving Fukuzawa and he hates himself for it because despite his desperation in the moment he knows what his death would do to Fukuzawa, when Fukuzawa's incensed and doesn't understand why he would endanger himself when he knows Fukuzawa would never recover if Ranpo died to save him, after, when he's safe in Fukuzawa's arms again and his own resolutions come crashing back into him too late to matter, the vision finally shatters.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice choked and shaking. "I can't love you the way you want me to."

It's true and he knows it. He can't. He's failed. He'll always throw himself on the fire for Fukuzawa. He can't see him as a shield or a shelter easily cast aside. He can't see him as a guardian to eventually move on from. He's not even a god, just a man who Ranpo can't bare to let go.

Fukuzawa who never really thought all that hard about the way he loved Ranpo, only how best to do so. How best to defend him, how best to support him, how best to build the world around him. How best to clear the path for the life he deserved. How, dear god how, to show him affection as anyone else would.

Fukuzawa who does all of these things to the best of his ability with his whole heart and then some because it feels like something's missing. There's something else he should be doing. Ranpo flourishes but stops short of some things too soon. His eyes linger on a couple holding hands only for him to turn his eyes away, downcast. He never looks interested in anyone, but he stares at couples so longingly Fukuzawa can't help but notice.

When Ranpo moves out he does it with great fanfare and a lot of whining. But it's the heavy weight in his steps that rings in Fukuzawa's ears, a trudge of endurance, of defeat.

And his touch always seems to linger, the glide of his fingers more of a caress at times over Fukuzawa's. There's something delicate and strange to it he's never experienced before. Something longing, but for what he's not sure.

So when Ranpo says I can't love you the way you want me to he doesn't understand. That's exactly how he's always felt, but how he's always felt isn't how Ranpo means it. He can't see how it's even relevant now, when Fukuzawa's quick reflexes were the only thing that kept Ranpo's heart from stopping moments before.

He grips Ranpo's shoulders and shakes him, desperate to make him promise never to do this again. "I don't care what happens to me as long as you survive! You have to let me protect you!"

"I care!" Ranpo shouts back.

Fukuzawa still doesn't understand. People willing to hide behind him, to let him protect them. And there's no one he wants to do it for more than Ranpo. "Why!? Why would it be so hard for you to-"

Ranpo surges up and silences him with a bruising open-mouthed kiss. Fukuzawa tastes salt and fire and brimstone and blood, and when Ranpo pulls away his cheeks are shining with tears.

"I'm sorry." Ranpo says again, his voice tight as Fukuzawa stares at him wide-eyed.

Ranpo burrows his face into Fukuzawa's chest and shakes. Slowly, more out of reflex than thought, Fukuzawa settles a hand on his shoulders.

He's quiet for a long time.

"No," he says at last. "I'm sorry." His hand shifts to stroke Ranpo's head, the other coming around him. "I've been selfish, haven't I?"

#fukuran #ranfuku #ranpo edogawa #edogawa ranpo #yukichi fukuzawa #fukuzawa yukichi #tantei soujin #headcanons and aus

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sskk-ao3feed · 9 months ago

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Wonderland at Night

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/IOdBgoG by Exxistence_0 Fyodor Dostoevsky is your average 26 year old Russian man, although he wasn't exactly big and strong per se, He had amazing intellectual capabilities for a young man. So why now was he joining a circus group at 4 pm on a Wednesday? - Nikolai Gogol is a world renowned acrobat (or well, at least in Ukraine) who has decided to move to Russia for better opportunities and joins the Great Moscow State Circus. After spending almost a year in Russia without anything remotely exiting happening, a man shows up at his boss's trailer asking for employment. - - (Or that one fyolai circus!AU that no one even remotely asked for.) Words: 1014, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: F/F, M/M Characters: Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol's Parents (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Original Characters, Bungou Stray Dogs Ensemble, Fukuchi Ouchi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Fyodor Dostoyevsky Being an Asshole (Bungou Stray Dogs), to everyone that's not nikolai, Nikolai Gogol Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Married Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Because I can, (I have a beta we don't die like Odasaku), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, please take the archive warnings seriously!!!!, Doctor Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), but he still preys on little kids 😔, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Everything, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, (send help I'm running on 2 hours of sleep in a week), Eventual Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, unreliable author, I MEAN REALLLLLYYYY UNRELIABLE, Updates at random, I'm Bad At Tagging, when will you let me out of the basement..., i hate writing so this shows how much i love fyolai❗❗❗🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥, the power of hot anime twinks is real, uhh anyways, Bottom Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Top Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - Circus, I don't know why I didn't have those tagged before..., Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/IOdBgoG

#ao3feed sskk #akuatsu #fic rec

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dazaiscum · 3 years ago

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I'm a sucker for your writing (wbk already) and saw the 100 followers post (OMO, CONGRATS, I'M SO HAPPY, YOU DESERVE EACH AND EVEN MORE)

Could I request number 2 ("You taste sweeter") with Chuuya, Dazai and Ranpo? 👉👈

Fem reader, nsfw if you feel comfortable with it? 🥺

(I'm already draining you with how often I slip in there, I'm sorry >~<)

P.S. image and song bcs Ily and it's kinda become my signature in a weird way and idk, maybe you get vibe/inspiration from songs like I do?

A/n note: You flatter me too much 😭 every time you slide in my inbox it makes me happy 🤧 No you're not draining me 😭

Warnings: Nswf. (This was literally inspired by a condom ad. heLP 😭)

Genre: Fluff.

Prompt: "You taste sweeter, darling"

Pairings: Dazai/reader, Ranpo/reader, Chuuya/reader

Dazai

You were standing in the kitchen, mixing the batter in your hands as you felt the sensation of two bandaged arms gliding on yours. Your back pressed against his chest as his hands molded in perfectly with yours. With how close he was to you felt his ragged breath fawning on your neck.

Shivers ran down your spine as his cold fingers traced patterns on your knuckles. He chuckled, clearly knowing the effect he had on you. his two fingers found their way towards your neck and tilted it.

He started prepping your neck in kisses. You bite your lip to stop any of the embarrassing noises from coming through your mouth but that's not gonna work with him.

Smirking he sucked on that spot which he knew made you wet. His other hand went from your arms to your breasts and then trailed down to your hips.

Pushing your cute little skirt and underwear aside, his fingers started rubbing circles on your clit. Not a second later a lewd mewl slipped through your plump lips and he smirked again.

"D--Dazai. n-not now" you squirmed which only made him tighten his grip on you. "Hm? what was that belladonna?"

“I n-need to make the cake before today e-evening. We can continue th-this later” Not caring what you say, he shoved two fingers inside your opening, curving his fingers to hit that particular spot which makes your knees go weak.

And that's exactly what it did. Your knees gave out, the bowl in your hand fell on the ground, shattering into pieces. Dazai turned you around in a way that you faced him.

“The cake...” you trailed off, sad because you wanted to make this New Years' eve special for him, but now that can’t happen.

You looked at Dazai, tears forming in your eyes and with the look he had you assumed he already knew of your plans.

His long slender fingers wiped your tears. Both of his arms cupping your cheeks he quickly smashed his lips on your, his tongue slipping in your wet cavern, greedily exploring every place he could reach.

Pulling away due to the lack of oxygen, he licked his lips, “Why would I need a cake” he started, his mouth already on yours.

“When you taste sweeter, darling”

Ranpo

“Wait how much sugar does this need?” you ask yourself since you decided it would be a great idea to bake cupcakes for the Agency on New Year.

It didn’t exactly turn out to be a good idea since Dazai ate almost all of the cupcakes and accidentally dropped the remaining.

Kunikida was furious and decided to tape Dazai to a chair. So now here you were, in the agency’s kitchen making a couple more batches for the rest.

“I can taste and tell!!” Dazai volunteered, still stuck on the chair. No one knows how tf did he manage to rip the tape on his mouth.

“Shut up! I'm in this situation ‘cause of you!”

“Wasn’t it your idea to bake them in the first place?”

“Die!!”

“I'm trying to”

“Then let me make it easier for you” you grumble, annoyed by his antics. Why did Kunikida think it would be a good idea to place Dazai near you.

Sighing, you called your boyfriend to stop you from murdering your annoying colleague.

Not a second later he appeared in front of the door, his emerald eyes shining as bright as ever, and that sweet smile that same sweet smile that you fell in love with plastered on his adorable face.

“Hey, could you-” you began but were cut off by the brunette.

“I know what to do, I'm the greatest detective after all” he said with a smug smirk on his face, moving closer towards the bowl, he dipped his finger in and tasted it.

“Hm, it tastes good but...”

“But..?” you ask, worried if somethings missing or you added the wrong ingredient.

Ranpo only smiled at you and dipped his finger in the batter again. (i hate double-dippers 🙄 but Ranpo can dip thrice if he wants to ☺️)

He came closer towards you as his hand made its way to the back of your head, fingers tangling in your h/c locks. His free hand smeared the batter on your neck, licking it from your soft skin.

“You taste sweeter, darling”

A tint of pink covered your cheeks at his words. His hand untangled itself from your tresses and slithered under your shirt, pulling you closer towards him.

before the both of you could move any further, you were interrupted by a few coughs behind you.

“I would suggest you keep this stuff to your bedroom, but I wouldn't mind a show or two.” The fellow detective said, ruining the wonderful moment you two shared.

Laughing, Ranpo held you back as you growled trying to kill the bandaged detective.

Chuuya.

Today was a peaceful day. everything was going great. Your boss Mori had a sudden change of mood, a change that you didn't necessarily mind.

He was happy. He gave out cupcakes to his executives and trusted mafiosos. Now, what caused his happiness was something you couldn't comprehend and frankly, you didn’t even want to. You were just glad you had some time to spend with your lovely boyfriend.

Happily returning from Mori's office, you make your way over to Chuuya's cabin. As you happily open the door, humming your favorite song, you see him sitting on his chair, completing his paperwork and daily errands.

His lips slightly parted, hair messed up a little, hand on his chin, glasses resting perfectly on his nose bridge as his eyes examine each word on the document in front of him. You had to admit that he looked absolutely adorable.

Quitely making your way over to his desk, you hugged him from behind, your hands on his neck and chest pressed against his back, sighing contently, you place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Your boyfriend chuckles a little while removing his glasses as he leans in your touch "What are you doing here love?" Chuuya questions while patting his thigh as a sign for you to sit on his lap.

"Mori gave out cupcakes this morning for some reason. I wanted you to taste them too." You explain, nuzzling your head in his neck.

Chuuya takes your chin in his gloved hand, turning your head upwards so you could face him. Slowly moving towards you, he placed his lips on yours, hands traveling to your waist, tongue slipping in your hot mouth, hand going under your shirt. The room was suddenly turning hot.

"Leave those cupcakes. You taste sweeter, Darling"

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larathia · 3 years ago

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On the ‘masterminds’.

I mentioned this over in a Reddit thread, but I figured hey, why not, I’ll stick it over here too. For filing purposes.

A lot is made of Fyodor and Dazai being ‘alike’. In intelligence, I’d say they are - they’re both brilliant, and both somewhat isolated as a result of that brilliance. But when it comes to scheming, they’re very different people.

Fyodor is a spider. Fyodor loves to spin webs within webs, traps within traps. Fyodor’s ideal setup is one where even if you get past the first trap, you must fall into the second. And even if you beat that too, you must fall into the third. And fourth. And so on, until one of them gets you.

When you hear Fyodor talking about people being ‘predictable’, and outcomes being ‘predictable’...don’t think of this as Fyodor running all the scenarios and figuring out Just Which One will happen. Think, instead, of a scientist in a lab, and a maze he’s constructed with traps and rewards scattered along it, and various little shitty things on every corridor to screw with perception. When Fyodor says your actions are ‘predictable’, what he means is you’re a mouse in his maze. You’re predictable because he’s controlling what you see, what you hear, what you know.

Fyodor manipulates by controlling ‘the rules’, as Ranpo put it. And he’s nigh unbeatable if he can railroad you enough so that you HAVE to follow them. But if you can get outside his ‘rules’, or break through all of the traps he’s set up (which WILL take a while, as he loves to nest them), he isn’t good at plotting on the fly. Change the rules quickly enough, and you can put him in a scenario he can’t scheme his way out of.

In discworld terms - Fyodor is a wizard. His magic is built around changing the world.

In gaming terms, Fyodor is a dungeon master whose traps are a dungeon you have to get to the bottom of. Fyodor’s defined the corridors, the monsters, and the traps in advance. If you manage to get through them, he doesn’t have a second dungeon lying around...but he’s very, very good at making you go where he wants in the dungeon he’s laid out.

Dazai is a crow or raven. Dazai almost never sets out to fuck someone’s shit up. That’s too much work. He’s not a big fan of work. Rather, Dazai scemes through knowledge of the gears that motivate people, the gears of human interaction. Dazai focuses not on the board, but on the pieces and how they move - and whether they can change to move some other way.

When you hear Dazai say that a situation is ‘predictable’, or an outcome is ‘predictable’, you should imagine a professional pool player. Someone who can send that cue ball with just the right spin and speed to break the table any way he wants, who can picture the way each and every ball on the table will roll.

Where Fyodor uses his great intelligence to set up web after web, Dazai uses his own to store massive files about every person he’s ever met. He knows what makes them happy, what makes them sad. What would be a nice surprise, and what would send them storming off in a rage. Sometimes, corvid-like, he plays tricks on people just to see how they’ll react, and that becomes part of the ongoing file.

When Dazai manipulates, it’s all down to people. It’s about putting the right person in the right place at the right time to get the outcome he wants. This makes him far better able to react on the fly than Fyodor, but the downside is ...well. People are not billiard balls. People are much more complex than billiard balls. And if there’s something about one of the people Dazai needs to ‘move’ that he doesn’t know? That missing knowledge will result in a cascading miscalculation. Shit will go wrong.

In discworld terms, Dazai is a witch; his magic isn’t about changing the world. It’s about changing the minds of the people in it.

In gaming terms, Dazai would be the guy who picks up the contract to plumb the dungeon, and then goes all Ocean’s Eleven picking exactly the right party to get through all the death traps.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis

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tacticaldiary · 4 years ago

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You Dated My Partner?

Pairing: Reader x Dazai Osamu

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Masterlist

REQUEST:

Hello, can you please write headcanons (or scenarios, whichever's easy for you) of Osamu finding out his girlfriend used to date Kunikida 👀 Thank you! <3 Hope you're having a great day.

“You what!?” Dazai exclaims a little too loudly, his voice echoing through the whole office.

“It was just for a few months, 4 years ago.” Y/N shrug, leaning back on the agency’s couch. “Besides, I’m with you now, aren’t I?”

Dazai takes a second to process the new information he’s just learned, looking between Y/N and Kunikida.

Kunikida, who is currently sitting at his desk shuffling through a few documents, nods in agreement, though his cheeks are flushed a little pink with embarrassment, which Dazai picks up.

“You used to date my partner! That’s not nothing, Y/N!” He whines, throwing an arm around her shoulder and burying his face into her neck.

She jumps a little tries to push him off, but he doesn’t budge. Y/N sighs and throws Kunikida a look. The man in question rolls his eyes and speaks.

“It was nothing special, Dazai, stop being dramatic and causing a scene.” He states, still pointedly looking at the documents.

“How dare you! Of course any time with a beautiful lady like this-” He sits up and shifts so he’s holding one of her hands. “Is special.”

“I-...would you rather it have been special, Dazai?” She asks huffing out a laugh as he sighs.

“I can’t believe this. I’ve been betrayed by the two people I trusted...no, make that the one person, now.” He throws himself at her, his head in her lap, ignoring the question.

The rest of the agency isn’t fazed at what’s happening at all, going about with their day.

“Sorry, Kunikida, I’m afraid I’ll have to resign from being your partner.” Y/N huffs out a laugh, at the offended look on the blonde’s face.

“I mean, I can’t have any lingering feelings steal my girlfriend away from me! She’s perfect, so of course you would still like her-” he cuts himself off with a yelp as he’s shoved out of her lap and onto the floor by her.

“I hold no feelings for Y/N, you imbecile.” Kunikida says, the tips of his ears turning red. This was not an appropriate place for a conversation like this.

“Of course someone who holds feelings for my love would say that!” He argues back from the floor.

“Dazai-” Y/N struggles to keep in a laugh at the absolutely stupid argument happening. “You’re the one who’s working with him, not me. If anything, you’d be the one being stolen from me.”

Dazai’s eyes widen thoughtfully. “...you’re right.” A playful smirk takes up his features then, and he turns to Kunikida.

“I mean, he’s not half bad once you get past the anger and-” He’s shut up with a book hurled towards him, which he promptly dodges. A stream of angry insults are directed towards him as he sits back on the couch and shrugs.

“Fine fine! I guess I’ll just have to make sure you don’t infect her with your-”

“I do not have feelings-”

“-feelings by drowning them out with mine.” He grins when Y/N rolls her eyes and let’s him wrap an arm around her.

“That was cheesy.” She notes, unable to keep a small smile off her face. She laughs as Kunikida crosses his arms muttering something to himself. Meeting Dazai eyes, she grins and turns back to Kunikida, all the while leaning further back into her boyfriends arms.

“You know you weren’t wrong...once you get past the anger-”

“Not you too, I already said-”

“Exactly! See, you get me perfectly!” Dazai’s voice drowns out Kunikida’s.

“What if we-”

“Tag team?” Dazai finishes, with a shit eating grin.

“Tag team.” She confirms, and the both of them can’t hold in their laughter as Kunikida turns beet red and stands from his chair, walking to the other side of the room to cool down.

Once their laughs die down to giggles, Y/N tilts her head back to look at Dazai.

“Love you.” She says with a smile. “You know you’re the one I’ll always choose, right?”

“Of course I know!” Dazai returns her smile, leaning forward to kiss her nose, eliciting another giggle from her, and a gagging noise from Ranpo a few feet away.

Request Are Open! Please send em in!

(28/5/2021)

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai oneshot #mafia dazai #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai #osamu #fanfiction #bsd fanfiction #fanfic

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grymmnox · 2 years ago

Text

weekly fic recs #12

Oneshots

The Red Glare; moogah - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 4.5k words | atsushi & dazai, akutagawa & dazai

summary:

A training session with Akutagawa leaves Dazai with a confusing set of feelings long since buried. The thoughts which come with them are not easy to deal with, and the crying child Dazai stumbles across does not help his issues one bit.

tsushima shuuji; raccoon_bubbles_killer - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 4.7k words | dazai & dazai’s father, dazai & kunikida, atsushi & dazai, ADA & dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

the case of tsushima shuuji's disappearance went cold some fifteen years ago, and so dazai thought they'd never have to think about that part of their life again. how wrong of them to assume as much.

or; fourteen years after tsushima shuuji's disappearance, the file finally sees the light of day again

or or; the agency goes through cold cases on a surprisingly calm day

(disclaimer: the one shot is, indeed, written with proper punctuation and capitalization. only the title, notes and summary are written in lowercase)

bite your tongue; soupthatistoohot - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 20.7k words | chuuya/dazai, ADA & dazai, ADA & chuuya

summary:

The Armed Detective Agency receives a mission to investigate and take down an assassin group that has been targeting high-profile individuals through a very specific method: first, the target is sent into an unwakeable sleep for a week, and second, when they wake up, they are unable to speak. Third and last, they die of a heart attack two weeks later. Ranpo suggests negotiating with the Port Mafia for the aid of executive Chuuya Nakahara, wanting to have Double Black at their disposal. But when Chuuya arrives… he cannot speak.

Chuuya Nakahara has been targeted, and supposedly, he has two weeks left until he is killed.

tracing all your scars; xxalwayssofia - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 2.8k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Dazai is just absolutely great at causing misunderstandings. On today's episode of Dazai Osamu is an Asshole who can't Emotion, he tells Chuuya, "I've never considered you as a friend."

Because they're both absolutely stupid, they take just a little while to figure shit out.

a trifling distance; Oxalisalis - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 4.3k words | oda & dazai

summary:

When a stray ability brings Odasaku back for one day, Dazai pushes aside his reservations to fulfill his friend's request to spend some time together.

Dazai and Odasaku have some long overdue fun.

smile for the camera; astraltrain - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 9.2k words | chuuya/dazai, dazai & oda

summary:

Chuuya thinks he knows exactly how his day is going to go the moment his phone pings on his day off with a set of coordinates and no explanation as to why, sent by none other than his terrible partner. - Chuuya is tricked into a day out with Dazai and his strange friend Oda's kids, with absolutely no ulterior motives whatsoever. For sure.

The Children Never Learned To Be Happy; theshatteredpeople - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 2k words | chuuya & a whole bunch of people (too tired to list them all), chuuya/dazai

summary:

“She is spinning around and around And the blood from her feet, It is painting the ground. But he continues to pull the strings And she moves, because she is bound.”

Chuuya Nakahara is sixteen years old and believes Osamu Dazai to be the worst thing to ever happen to him.

Chuuya Nakahara is nineteen years old and at the top of the list is betrayal.

Chuuya Nakahara is twenty and he is overflowing with sympathy and anguish and bitterness.

Chuuya Nakahara is twenty-two years old and he is fine.

-- Chuuya Nakahara grows up in the Port Mafia from the age of fifteen. He learns to breathe as he drowns.

The Children Learned To Bleed Before Breathing; theshatteredpeople - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 1.8k words | dazai & a whole bunch of people, chuuya/dazai

summary:

“He is spinning ‘round and ‘round And he just cannot stop. Once the puppet master, Now a simple jester. Oh! How the mighty have fallen. A pity he lost it all.”

Osamu Dazai is just sixteen and he knows he is better than everyone else around him.

Osamu Dazais is nineteen and he has made himself learn to stop looking out windows and over his shoulder.

Osamu Dazai is twenty and he cannot help but think that he is fine.

Osamu Dazai is twenty-two and not compassionate in any way.

-- Osamu Dazai grows up in the Port Mafia from the age of fourteen. He learns to swim at eighteen.

Chiaroscuro; kyasuu - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.9k words | dazai & oda

summary:

chi·a·ro·scu·ro /kyärəˈsko͝orō/ noun the treatment of light and shade in drawing and painting; an effect of contrasted light and shadow created by light falling unevenly or from a particular direction on something.

While Dazai had never been as close to Kouyou as Chuuya had been, he’d still had a relationship of sorts with her.

“What you wear can completely change how others perceive you,” he remembers her telling him once as she brushed his hair with surprising gentleness. “I’m sure you’re aware of this already, but you haven’t yet figured out how to weaponize your appearance.” She’d tugged on his ear a little then. “People still look at you and see a little rat.”

or: Dazai buys a coat.

Good People Don’t Try And Shoot Their Co-workers; pickleurpickle - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 7.2k words | chuuya & dazai, chuuya/dazai, ADA & dazai, dazai & oda | READ TAGS

summary:

Yosano accidentally snaps something in Dazais mind, resulting in him accidentally hurting her and getting himself on an exclusion for a while. He quickly overthinks it.

Or Dazai and Chuuya have a slightly not straight moment on a bridge.

note 4 - ebb, flow; Oxalisalis - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2.5k words | dazai & oda

summary:

Oda is caught in that liminal space between feeling wary of Dazai and wanting to know him.

Alternatively—

Dazai gets sick, Oda looks after him, and they both angst over a dead man (for different reasons) before growing closer to each other.

(grim’s notes: can be read w/o reading the rest of the series, sorta, but it would certainly help u understand better if u at least read the first fic, ‘revise these lines’, which i believe was in a previous reclist of mine. i’ll still link it here though)

i should move to a brand new city (and teach myself how to die); f_oilsickness - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 6.2k words | chuuya & dazai, ango & dazai & oda, dazai & oda, dazai & kunikida | READ TAGS

summary:

If you were tasked to define humanity, what would you say?

Would it be how they’re fundamentally biologically constructed? The way that they’re crafted of skin and bones, with the substance of blood flowing through their veins? Perhaps you may take it on an empathetic front— do you feel any remorse? Is there pity whenever you see another life being taken? Dazai has acknowledged those points before, but he still does not consider himself human.

Or,

Dazai Osamu, throughout the years.

Incomplete Fics

the city where the wind blows; Oxalisalis - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2/4 chapters | 6.4k words | dazai & oda

summary:

Starving and stranded in the future, a young assassin tries to pickpocket a corpse and ends up in the company of a strange bandaged man with a suicide obsession. But maybe Dazai, whose cryptic words are just as baffling as his appearance, can help Sakunosuke find his way back.

(22 year old Dazai meets 15 year old Oda. Bonding ensues?)

#[.grims weekly recs]#[.grims recs]#fic recs #reclist #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fic recs #bungo stray dogs fic recs #bungou stray dogs fic recs #kinda shorter than usual bc of christmas and everything #i had less time to read longer fics #so this list is p much entirely oneshots #still very good fics

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knockyasocksoff2022 · 9 months ago

Text

Ideal No. 6

(738 words)

Getting to the office early isn’t a problem because of my insomnia. It’s so simple, instead of lying in bed for hours I slip on my clothes and walk to the office.

Kunikida will be so surprised when he sees me before him that he’ll just have to say something.

I’m so childishly giddy at the thought that I can hardly concentrate but I make myself. I take my paperwork off Kunikida’s desk and start filling each form out and typing up the digital copies one by one. I’ve done 10 paper and digital copies now and I put down my pen at the sound of footsteps.

Kunikida walks right past me like he doesn’t notice me at all. He sits down at his desk, but his hand hesitates over his laptop. I force myself to resume my work, as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. He hasn’t looked at me or addressed me yet so I keep my eyes on the paper.

I look up once as I hear his chair slide back. He stares at me for a second, his grey eyes filled with surprise, then suspicion and then exhaustion. His lips form a thin line, no words leave his lips. Not even a thank you.

Well that backfired! But he’ll slip up eventually, I just have to keep this up and he’ll surely confront me.

The president gets here and greets us both. I find great relief in hearing Kunikida’s voice even if the words aren’t for me.

One by one my colleagues arrive, Kyouka, Kenji, Atsushi, Ranpo and then Yosano,

They all react with surprise in there different ways:

Kenji happily greeted me, saying he’s glad to see me on this fine morning.

Kyouka gives me a side-eye but asks no questions.

Atsushi asks me if I’m alright, afraid that something dreadful has happened.

Ranpo’s gaze flickers from me to Kunikida, raising an eyebrow. I give him the smallest of nods. He bursts out laughing.

Yosano offers to heal me if I’ve suddenly developed a brain tumour that’s affecting my behaviour.

Kunikida remains silent, not looking up from his laptop. I won’t look at Kunikida either, give him a taste of his own medicine.

With my fast typing speed I finish my most recent paperwork, the ones pertaining to our case with the local police, before lunch time. It crosses my mind that it isn’t that bad but then I remember the months backlog I have. I don’t groan or make a scene, I give no indication of my emotions.

I start the large pile and get halfway through before I notice the office is oddly silent. I look up and see everyone besides Ranpo standings round Yosano’s desk whispering. They’re looking right at me and when they see me looking they all stop.

I go back to my work, ignoring them like Kunikida has been ignoring me.

I hear Atsushi ask, “Did Kunikida-san do something to him?” and Yosano replied, “Don’t worry, Atsushi, he’ll be back to normal by tomorrow.”

The day passes quickly, differently from usual where everything is a blur. I know exactly what happened but I still have trouble remembering everything because it feels like I sat at my desk and stared at my laptop all day doing one thing, write, type, file, repeat (I did.)

I still have some forms to fill out but if I work at the same rate I’ll get them done by the end of the day tomorrow. But I can hardly think of tomorrow when today’s been a complete flop. Kunikida didn’t react at all.

But he gave me that look, the suspicion. Like the only reason I’d ever do my work was if I had ulterior motives, the fact that it’s true cuts me inside. And then that pure weariness.

It’s clear to me now that Kunikida isn’t mad at me, he's just lost patience and run out of willpower to deal with me. And he shouldn’t have to deal with me, I’m a full grown adult I can be normal. I’m sure I can.

When you think about it Kunikida’s ideals are only asking for a regular polite pretty woman who isn’t a crazy motherfucking bitch (like me). I will remake myself to fit his ideals and become a better person in the process. It may not work but it’s my only and last chance for him to want me.

IDEALS [kunikidazai]

(A/N: I've been palying around with ship names for these two and came up with Ideal Human because together these two make one perfectly functioning person. Kind of like how Tachizaki is Midwinter Snow because if their abilities)

SUMMARY:

Dazai Osamu is the farthest possible thing from the ideal woman Kunikida Doppo has written so much about in his notebook.

And yet . . . Kunikida is hoplessly in love with him anyway. Kunikida doesn't belive he has a chance with his coworker, I mean, have you seen the way he flirts with women? Straight as the rulers Kunikida used to use in his maths class.

Dazai meanwhile is also inlove with uptight but still charming coworker. But how can Dazai ever come close to the woman Kunikida has in mind?

Will these two damn idiots figure their shit out or not? God, I hope they do, for all our sanity!

(Summary sponsered by Edogawa Ranpo)

Categories: angst, fluff, getting together

Warnings: N/A

Thank you to @wildroseroguefor inspiring me to write Kunikidazai for the first time. Rose has lots of Kunikida content on her blog, check it out.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #Ideal Human #No Longer Ideal #knkdz #kunikidazai fic #kunikidazai fanfiction #kunikidazai fanfic #kunikidazai angst #kunidazai fanfic #kunikidazai fluff #kunidazai fic #kunidazai fanfiction #kunidazai fluff #kunidazai angst

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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

Note

So far of reading your writing, I really love it! :)) May I request Kunikida, Dazai and Ranpo having an younger member of the agency being a sort of subordinate of them but acts a lot like a younger sibling to them? She's just really pure hearted and soft and really looks up to them so she likes helping them out a lot. Just some fluff because my boys deserve all love and affection

Awww thank you so much for the compliment!! This request is so cute, and yes, all the boys deserve all the love and affection that is possible cause they go through too much 😭 Anon requested this as platonic, and reader is gender neutral. Also, I wasn’t too sure what the age should be, so I went with Kyoka’s age, which is 14. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s part, but nothing too heavy or specific is mentioned. It does get kinda sad though, but it has a happy ending. Also, slight spoiler for season 2/Dark Era Arc, but nothing too major

Young ADA Member Acting like a Younger Sibling to: Kunikida, Dazai, and Ranpo

Kunikida

Okay, so when you first started at the office, people (specifically Naomi and Junichiro) were nervous when you got paired up with Kunikida. And Kunikida isn’t a bad man by any means, but he can be very, very, very strict

And how well do rules stick with kids/younger people? Exactly. It just sounded like a bomb waiting to explode

And you look so soft and so sweet! What if he made you cry?!

Which Naomi threatened to draw blood if he did

Even Kunikida himself was nervous. This was not written in his notebook to be a glorified babysitter!

But the President insisted, putting faith into you that you’ll be a great addition to the team and that he can lead you on the right path and not into trouble like some people he won’t mention (Dazai)

That was all that he needed to hear, and he took those words very serious. He won’t let the President down, and he wasn’t going to let you down either. You guys were gonna give it your all, whether you were ready to or not

But, to everyone’s surprise (really his) you both adapted well. You treated him with respect, said yes sir, no sir, tidied up both of your desks (which were right next to each other), you even tried to abide by his stern schedule without any complaints

You were a great help on missions too, you didn’t recklessly throw yourself into danger, and you made sure to look out for citizens to keep them safe and out of danger

And that wasn’t it, oh no

You made sure to bring him snacks (atleast the ones that he said were ideal), made sure that he was keeping hydrated and not tensed up all the time (working in this office will do that to you), and to make his workload as light as possible

After seeing him go off on Dazai for the 1000th time and getting wound up over a case that wasn’t getting any leads, you saw how stressed and frustrated he was getting. Mumbling to himself about how could he “replace the President if he couldn’t do this right”So you tapped on your shoulder, with one goal in mind: To comfort him

When you tapped his shoulder, he turned and yelled, “WHAT NOW?!”, right into your face

Time stood still as everyone froze, shocked. Even Kunikida himself after he saw it was you.

He felt immediately guilty, about to apologize for losing his cool when you began speaking

“Mr. Kunikida, please don’t stress too much. It’s not good for your heart! And don’t let this one thing stop you! You’re a great leader, and someone that I look up to. I wouldn’t be where I was at now without you! So please don’t doubt yourself, because we don’t, especially me! You’re my role model, Mr. Kunikida. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

After that, it was like a flip switched in him

“(Y/N), come here and walk very slowly.”

You did so with no hesitation, but you were curious

“Your shoe is untied. Here, let me tie it for you. It wouldn’t be ideal if you get injured because of a lousy shoelace. It wouldn’t be ideal if you got injured at all.”

“(Y/N), we have lunch scheduled at exactly 12:15. They’re also serving your favorite today, so we can’t be late, understand?”

“Yes sir!”, you said with a smile

“(Y/N), let’s go. It’s getting dark and if you still want to see that dreaded light show, we have to leave in 20 seconds to make it! I don’t want to see you sad or hear you complain if we miss it.”

“Coming sir! Just finishing up some work for tomorrow-“

“I already have it written in my notebook on when it will be done, so we can go.”

“Here you go Mr. Kunikida, I already typed up and printed out the reports for later on!”

“Thanks kid. And you don’t have to keep calling me Mister okay? Kunikida is fine.”

Dead silent in the office

KUNIKIDA is letting someone way younger than him just call him KUNIKIDA? Not MR.KUNIKIDA???

Everyone is, realistically, shook

But as time went on, they understood why

He came to look after you as his own

The entire ADA would have never thought the day would come (it wasn’t even in the notebook!) where he would care for a kid like his little sibling but here it was, right in front of their faces

But they weren’t complaining at all. You seemed to make his day a little brighter, and he wasn’t as uptight as much (but don’t be mistaken he was still Kunikida, just at an 8 instead of a whole 10)

After that mini pep talk that fateful day, he made it his duty to be a good role model for you. To always set a good example, both in and out the office.

He wouldn’t fail you, and he would be damned if he let anything happen to you

You’re a good kid, and you only deserve the best. And he was gonna be the best role model (and brother) for you

Dazai

Aw man, he was..conflicted to say the least

Listen, it’s not like he hates kids or teens, but it’s just extra responsibilities to watch over them. And he already slacks off enough to begin with, so is this really a good idea sticking a 14 year-old with him?

And lowkey, the way that he treated Akutagawa is still heavy on his mind, and he doesn’t want a repeat

But the President made it so, and Kunikida was ready to attack if he even thought about denying the order. Plus, it could be like another Atsushi around (another person to pass work off too) so that was a win!

And another person to annoy Kunikida too

You looked so pure and innocent. Are you sure that you’re in the right place?

He genuinely thought you were a lost kid when you came up to him the first time lmao

Geez, you even sound sweet too! How has this world not damage or corrupt you yet?

“Hi Mr. Dazai! It’s nice to meet you. I hope that we can make a great team, and that I’m here to help if you need anything!”

“Nice to meet you too. And now that you mention it, these reports have been giving me a hard time...”

Not gonna lie, he did take advantage of your help. You offered, so why not? He thought you were gonna get sick of it soon and start complaining, but nope

You took his reports and did it with no hesitation every time. And you always handed it to him with a bright smile. On top of that, you always cleaned up his area and behind him, you did any leftover work that he ignored forgot to do so that he wouldn’t get yelled at, and tried to bring him small snacks and even packed a whole lunch for him when you noticed that he didn’t eat a lot

He even started to feel pretty bad and he was getting disapproving looks from his fellow detectives (even Kenji, and he never frowns)

So he started to take back and *GASP* actually do his work?!

But you stopped him, and told him that he should, “Take it easy! You work hard enough as it is saving the city. It’s no problem doing these reports, and I want to help you in any way I can, Mr. Dazai.”

“(Y/N), don’t worry, I can do them. And remember it’s just Dazai, calling me Mister makes me feel old like Kunikida-”

“I HEARD THAT!”

And it seemed like you really cared for his wellbeing, especially when you had to accompany him on missions

Well, it just so happen that while you were going with Atsushi to find Dazai to start a mission, you both found him

Hanging upside down, sinking to the bottom of the lake

You rushed into the water immediately, pulling him out and onto the ground while Atsushi was just standing there in disbelief

Atsushi is so done with his shit

“Dazai, can you hear me?! Dazai?! Atsushi, I gotta give him CPR I don’t think he’s-”

“(Y/N) don’t worry he’s okay! This isn’t his first time he’s done this, and probably not the last.”

“W-what do you mean?”

You didn’t know about Dazai’s suicide methods? Did he not tell you or talk about it in front of you? Atsushi would have been somewhat proud of him if this whole situation didn’t happen, but here we are

“Geez, guess this method isn’t for me. It seems like someone is bound to always inter- hm, (Y/N)? What are doing out of the office? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You hugged his chest tightly, not caring that he was practically soaked down to the bone

“Please stop, Dazai! Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to leave everyone?! Why are you trying to leave ME?!”

That got his attention

“Your life is important, Dazai, too important to try and end it on your own terms! You’re special to me, I look up to you. You’re smart, funny, and you help everyone out in your own special way. If you weren’t here anymore, everyone would be so lost...I would be so lost..,I-I-I wouldn’t know what to do-”

“(Y/N)-”

You looked up, eyes red and puffy with tears rolling down your cheeks, but filled with determination

“I promise you that I will make sure you know how much you matter to everyone. I swear on my life that I will.”

Okay, so you know how you were helpful/adorable before? On a scale of 1-10, you were definitely at an 11. But Dazai felt like you were at a 20

At first, he thought that you weren’t being genuine. You were just a young kid who didn’t know any better and was just trying to do your job, in sickeningly, oversweet way. I mean, who would really care about him with his horrid past? He was convinced that you were just naïve, and that the world would swallow you whole when it gets the chance. And it made him feel pity for you

But you proved him wrong

You weren’t just some ignorant child. You were in this agency working alongside him for a reason. And you reminded him of that everyday when he saw you working, handling the cases, taking actions on missions, all the while being kindhearted through and through

You especially went out of way for him, and it was both a warm and scary feeling. People that he ended up caring for shared an undeserving fate, and he blamed himself for it constantly. So he tried to keep his distance, for your safety. You still had a life to live, and he didn’t want to ruin that for you.

But it was kinda hard to when you work together, and with you constantly being under his wing trying to show him the good in life and the difference that he made, he couldn’t help but admit it

You proved him wrong, and not a lot of people can say that.

You went out of your way to make sure that everyone was okay, mentally and physically. He didn’t want to admit it, but you made the office (and his life) a little bit more bearable when you were around. You’re a good kid. And it was so fun to rope you and sometimes Atsushi into his schemes lmao y’all can be so gullible sometimes

Unfortunately, he still planned to leave this world, but he tried not to talk about it in front of or around you, and his number of attempts did dwindle, so that was a good thing

“Hey (Y/N), let’s grab something to eat, I would be a terrible person if I let my dear little baby assistant go hungry.”

“Dazai, if you’re hungry, you can just say that. I don’t mind finishing this later. It’s good to eat when you need to, and your health is #1 priority!”

He couldn’t take back his past and the way he abused Akutagawa, but he could certainly make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistakes

And that would start with being a decent role model for you. He won’t exactly be a “model citizen”, but he will always do the right thing. He’s turned over a new leaf by turning to the light, and while his methods aren’t always legal, he won’t stray from it again

And he won’t let you stray either

Ranpo

He was not a happy camper at all, let me tell you

Hello, do you know who he is?? He’s the greatest detective in the world! Why would the President think he need a sidekick?! He saw you working under him as an insult. Were they trying to say that he wasn’t good enough on his own?!

You weren’t exactly welcome with open arms, but that was okay! You were a complete stranger to him, but you were hoping that would change overtime

And Fukuzawa offered to praise him if he took you in so he stopped pouting momentarily

“Hi Mr. Ranpo! I’ve heard great things about you, and I hope that we can get along!”

“Well, of course you’ve heard great things about me, I’m the greatest detective in the world! It would be a crime if you didn’t hear about me.”

It was a rocky start between you guys to say the least. Not only was he lazy with the work he already had (I mean, it was too easy for him), but you were always willing to complete it (which you did, when you realized that maybe he was too tired or had other important things to worry about)

Who are you trying to fool, this man was just being lazy

But you either didn’t realize it or you just purposely ignored it to get it done for the sake of the agency. Bless your pure heart for putting up with that poutyface

Despite that, you handled everything with positivity and pride. When discussing cases (even though he would solve it in under a minute), you already had the reports ready to go, took notes for him, and you even tidied up his desk (which really consisted of his snack pile)

And you were starting to grow on him. You were like his mini cheerleader/#1 fan. His ego was going through the roof

On missions, it was a piece of cake for him, duh! With his ability, Super Deduction, it was always easy. And you were in the background, in awe with everything going on. He wanted to say he was surprised, but he would be lying. It would be a downright lie if you said you weren’t impressed with his ability and with him in general.

You repeatedly praised him, and he always gave you the same response:

“World’s greatest detective, remember?”

The one thing that would cause him to see you in a new light, was when he got lost. You remembered Kunikida mentioning that he wasn’t the best at navigating the train system

He really said that Ranpo didn’t even know how to read the schedule, and that someone had to always walk with him to make sure he was going to the right places.

He just wanted to go back to the office to his beloved snacks, when this happened. He wasn’t stupid by any means, but it was a waste to use his ability on something trivial as this-

“Mr. Ranpo! Wait for me!”

Just as he knew, you were running late meeting him

“Hey (Y/N) what took you so long?! My beloved snacks are calling for me back at the agency, and I need to answer-”

“Don’t worry, I packed you some!”

“Yeah, I already knew that since that’s the reason you’re late. And before you ask, you look out of breath, the receipt is still crumpled in your hand, and I see some crumbs from something you already ate on your clothes.”

Huh. Was it that obvious? You guess so...

Or maybe Ranpo really is the world’s greatest detective!

“I know, I know. I’m the best, no need to tell-”‘

“Mr. Ranpo, you deserve all the praise that you get. You’re someone I want to be like when I get older.”

“Hm?”, there you go praising him again, but you were crying

“I feel like people don’t take you seriously like they should, Just because you don't fight like the others doesn’t mean that you’re not a valuable asset to the group! And I wish people saw you like how I do! You’re my inspiration to do my best everyday. And I know that I can’t be the best detective, but I want to be as strong and intelligent and brave just like you so I can save people and be a motivating hero like you!”

He’s silent, and your words are sinking in. You’re wiping away your tears, the start of an apology on the tip of your tongue, when he suddenly put his hand on top of your head

He’s staring right at you, glasses on and green eyes open for you to see

“You’re already on your way there (Y/N). That I know. And I’m never wrong with my deductions, let alone when using my ability.”

The flood gates have OPENED

You know that he doesn’t technically have an ability, but that doesn’t stop you from accepting his words and finding them as the truth. If Ranpo said it, he meant it. He was the world’s greatest detective, and you didn’t have any doubt in him

“Now let’s go, it’s going to start raining and I don’t want us to be hungry and drenched. Plus, Kunikida is totally freaking out and thinking that we’re both lost and in some criminal’s hideout right now.”

After that fateful day, the dynamic shifted between you two. Instead of you just doing the work, he pushed it off on someone else so he could explain to you about the different cases he had to solve, and other detective matters

Really he was just bragging and having you both slack off, but it didn’t matter you guys were still having fun

It even got to a point where he shared some snacks with you from his sacred snack pile

BOY WAS THAT THE TALK OF THE OFFICE

All in all, while he knew that you couldn’t be the greatest detective (that was his title after all), he would help you get to your goal regardless. Not that you would need a lot of extra help, he was watching over you after all, and you already have a good head on your shoulders along with the heart of a hero

Every Sherlock needs a Watson, and he deducted that it wasn’t too bad having you by his side

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