#ranger's apprentice incorrect quotes

[thatonepersoninthebackoftheroom]

Halt: A place where everybody knows your name is hell. You're describing hell.

~~~

Horace: I know! A comprehensive set of rules.

~~~

Gilan: Why do the worst things always happen to the best people?

~~~

Will: Fine, but in protest, I'm walking over there extremely slowly!

~~~

Will: Wait a minute, I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Jenny: Aren't you forgetting something? (Will gives Jenny a kiss on the forehead) Uh no, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

~~~

Will & Gilan: Halt, with all due respect, I'm gonna completely ignore everything you just said.

~~~

Horace: They said all the bleeding was internal. That's where the bloods supposed to be!

~~~

Will: Negotiating is just two liars lying to each other until one stands to close to a window and fhwip.

Horace: That can't be all it is

Will: Yes, it is. Now go in there and coax him to a window.

~~~

Crowley: I've solved a lot of cases

Halt: And yet, crime has continued.

[thatonepersoninthebackoftheroom]

Person A is Maddie, and Person B is Will. This is the only answer I will view as correct from now on. Will is always ready to mess with people and Maddie is just as ready to watch and learn

Person A: “I think we’re being followed.”

Person B: “Again? Don’t these people have anything better to do?”

Person A: “Apparently not… Should we lose them? Or should we give them the run around?”

Person B: “Hm… Let’s go with the latter and toy with them for a bit, it’s not like we have anything else to do today. We might as well waste their time and have a bit of fun in the process.”

[forgedroyalseal]

Halt training Will

[honeyinmycoffee]

EVERY DAMN Ranger's Apprentice after 10 seconds of silence:

[name-s-are-not-important]

[lautreatyandlestealtman]

Alyss: "Halt, a Ranger is supposed to be inconspicuous, right?" Halt: "What is a Ranger without stealth?" Alyss: "Then can you explain to me why Will just ran past with all of Redmont chasing him?"

[rangertessadarling]

Will: Halt can I have a hug?

Halt: You know I hate that *hugs Will as tight as possible*

Halt: Hugs are for idiots *squeezes the actual oxygen out of Will's lungs*

Halt: They're just weird *doesn't let Will go for hours*

[novaauster]

early in halt’s apprenticeship…

pritchard: how are you feeling emotionally

halt: don’t worry about it

pritchard: I’ll interrogate you if I have to

halt: I’ll kill myself before you get any answers

[what-life-is-really-like]

Horace, internally: Wait a minute, does Cassandra like me? Quick! Make a really bad joke and see if she laughs.

Horace: Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Cassandra: Haha! Horace, you're so funny!

Horace, internally: Well that's not really a fair test. That joke is hilarious.

[that-one-enby-ranger]

Halt: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up?  Crowley: *remembers dancing to the ringtone*  Crowley: I didn’t hear it.

[biggestqiblifan]

Will: Hey Halt! Where are you going?

Halt: When I die? Hell, probably. Most likely.

*shrugs*

Halt: But right now? A meeting.

Halt: Which is kind of the same thing, but worse.

[salty-ranger]

Halt: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Crowley: I wrote you a poem

Halt, slightly tearing up: y-you did?

[sister-of-the-brotherband]

Will (about Gilan): You need to react when people cry!

Halt: I did. I rolled my eyes.

[forgedroyalseal]

George, after being given absolutely zero personality:

[name-s-are-not-important]

[lautreatyandlestealtman]

Will (grinning): "I did something really smart." Alyss: "That doesn’t explain why you’re missing a shoe."