#random multiverse garbage

[catedunlapgodu]

deadpool and wolverine was soooo bad lmao :(

[meltingangels]

Seriously, MARVEL? Literally any other actor could've played Doctor Doom 🙄🤦

[angel-of-the-moons]

Eccentricities

Yandere!Miguel x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: DDDNE, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, NSFW, masturbation, spying, camera usage, Miguel being an overall gross creep, stalker behavior, possessiveness, obsessiveness, mentions of murder from the previous chapter, manipulation tactics

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: Woot! Sorry it's taken so long, everyone! I reinjured my back somehow so hopefully I can relax and get comfy enough to be a bit more regular with uploads to this! This chapter is a bit of filler before we once again, get into the heavier stuff later on. (And yeah I totally looked up the recipe for that drink because UGH I want it so BAD)

Part 2

Taglist: @vineberries9 @irmiki @autismsupermusicalassassin @obi-mom-kenobi @rin-matsuoka345-blog @loosecan @6thhokageswife @selarus @heyohalie @sapphire-and-ruby @night-spectrum @famouscattale @thespaceinbetweennothing @lazy-idate @toshimoshiko @saharadesertaj @flaps200 @amelialysm @fried-milkfish @zaunsin @darksidescorner @renareyouhere @vide0-vamp @reverieblondie @bunnibitez @kaqua @peterbparkersburger @tojishugetiddies @aisyakirmann @itslariette @xxeclipze @oharasfilipinawife @amber-content @ixanne2006 @miguels-aranita

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Pt. 3

Several weeks had passed since the incident with the man in the alley, since Spider-Man had come to your rescue.

Several weeks since Miguel first felt the taste of euphoria from claiming you verbally. Even if you didn't know it, or knew he was Spider-Man.

Snapping that disgusting prick's neck was satisfying. It would only have felt better if he had sunk his fangs in his throat and just ripped it out, or curled his talons deep, his fist wrapping around his windpipe and yanking it free of his body.

No, no, he had no time for that, though. He had to hurry up and get home so he could comfort you, his scared Little Bird.

His precious Little Bird.

Wrapping his arm around your shoulders and patting your back filled him with such a sense of accomplishment. Not even fighting and detaining anomalies felt that good. Protecting the multiverse paled in comparison to feeling your trembling little body beneath his hands, seeing your body visibly relax under his touch and in his presence.

Fuck, did he want you so badly. But, he couldn't. Not yet. He had to earn more of your trust.

Or at the very least, coerce it from you.

He felt pangs of guilt whenever he would think too deeply on it, but he realized when he checked your canon events, that... well. There was nothing saying you couldn't be his. That your universe would collapse.

You were safe, because you were in his native universe. You were safe because you were his.

Or, you would be. One way or another.

He wouldn't lose you the way he lost Gabriela. He wouldn't watch as you crumbled in his arms.

He wouldn't be alone again.

The way he rationalized it when his morals clouded his drive to possess you, was that you were precious. A cool drink of water after a run in the desert, a calm spot in the middle of a hurricane.

You were something pure that he needed to have. He needed to keep you safe.

Pulling up the statistics of your previous apartment district definitely solidified his reasoning that you simply couldn't be trusted to make decisions on your own. Why else would someone as naive as you move somewhere with a crime rate that reached nearly 76% in petty violent crime?

Which brought him back around to the garbage he tossed into a random alley in the city.

His fingerprints and DNA tied him to assaults and break-ins at your building and the neighboring district.

So once again... Miguel was merely doing what was best for you.

Thankfully you didn't have many friends, your busy work schedule from before saw to that. You were simply too raggedly worn to make friends. You even admitted that Lyla was probably the only friend you had (Miguel heard in the recordings of your conversations that you were still too new to Miguel as a person to count him as something so intimate just yet).

Another reason he was taking care of you.

You couldn't manage your work-life balance on your own, and you were struggling financially and mentally from the workload and lack of funds.

But because you were living rent free and with a paycheck to boot... Miguel knew that was the first turn of the proverbial key for your situation.

Soon, you would be locked inside your guilded cage where only he could touch and hold you.

You would thank him for it, eventually. He was sure of it. He would have you on your knees, smiling up at him happily, a pretty gold, necklace-like collar around your neck, the key would hang over his heart.

The thought alone made his cock throb.

No, no...

First things first.

He needed to earn you a bit more. He'd realized that with his work in Alchemax and the Spider Society, you and him hadn't had much interaction save for the end of the day, just after he'd come back from patrolling and you were headed off to bed for the night.

Well, lucky for him... Miguel had put in that he was taking a week away from work, and he even let Jess, Peter, and Lyla take control of things back at HQ, just so he can have time to spend with you.

He needed to make sure that you knew he wasn't afraid to be social with you, that he could be friendly and charming. Maybe once he hammered your walls down a bit... Things might be able to flow naturally. Maybe you would be interested in a relationship with him. It would make manipulating you that much easier.

'It's all for her own good. Nobody else can protect her like I can.' He kept telling himself.

'She'll realize that.'

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You had just let the dinner you made finish baking in the oven.

It was nice, you discovered, to have a conversation with your boss and Lyla while you worked.

Miguel--as politely as possible--convinced you to let him help you cook. He made some interesting dishes that smelled amazing, plus you two worked together to make a tres leches cake just for the two of you. He even showed you how to make homemade whipped icing! (That was messy but you two had fun doing it, of course)

He promised he'd teach you how to make chocoflan and a few other sweets, sometime. Maybe over the next week, since he had the coming days off; and your skills lie in appetizers and main dishes, not desserts.

And it was because of this topic that you learned Miguel had a hell of a sweet tooth. You made a note to add a few new items to your grocery list to make up for this oversight.

Because, hey, he's been working so hard, comes home ragged... who wouldn't enjoy coming home to a nice sweet, homemade treat after working all day and most of the night?

Thankfully your time as a bartender, you knew some things about making some good cocktails without skimping on the liquor.

Like, right now.

Miguel had a bar in his mansion (like most rich people in Nueva York, you assumed), and he allowed you free reign of it because he trusted you.

That knowledge made you feel a bit more pride than you normally would, because this rich and powerful man trusted you with bottles of liquor and champagne that cost more than a year's worth of rent at your old apartment.

At the moment, you were making him a cocktail you've always wanted to try, but menus priced them too high and you couldn't afford the proper stuff to make it right at home.

It was difficult, however, because he was so close, with his Adonis-like good looks and the body that surely made any woman's eyes wander. You had to snap your eyes away when he leaned on the counter, his biceps flexing beneath his partially unbuttoned dress shirt; the sleeves rolled up revealing his thick forearms and the veins lacing the gorgeous tanned skin that probably had phlebotomists fainting or swooning at the sight.

You tried so hard to stay on task as you carefully dipped the rim of the martini glasses in marshmallow fluff and rolled the rims in the crushed graham crackers. It took a few tries, because you were so distracted by the sheer inhuman beauty that was Miguel O'Hara, but his voice snapped you to attention.

"So... What is it you're making?" He hummed curiously, his brow quirking up from behind his glasses.

You cleared your throat and held up the two dusted glasses, "It's called a s'mores martini. It's a bit of a pain to make, but I'm told it tastes amazing."

"Ah." He smiled at you, resting his chin in his palm, his plush and pouty lips curled upwards as he watched. "But you've never made it before, hmm?"

You cringed. "Er... Well. I mean... I've seen other people make it plenty of times..."

Miguel laughed a little, the noise softly escaping his lips as you first poured in the Irish cream, heavy cream, the chocolate syrup, and finally the chocolate liqueur into the shaker.

"Of course. We learn from watching others experience, right?" He hummed softly, eyes tracking your hands.

You awkwardly avoided eye contact as you closed the shaker and held it above you, shaking the contents to make sure they were well mixed. You didn't notice because you were a little embarrassed, that Miguel was staring shamelessly at your cleavage as they jiggled with each over-the-shoulder shake of the metal shaker.

"Well... Yeah! Exactly!" You smiled, finally looking back at him. He'd corrected his line of sight swiftly so you wouldn't notice his hungry leering.

Once it was done, you strained the mixture into the glasses slowly, smiling proudly at the fact you didn't accidentally drop or--god forbid--throw the shaker into the glass bar behind you or across the goddamn room.

You then impaled two marshmallows on both of the smaller skewers you'd prepared, and held them up one at a time, lighting them with the small handheld torch.

You always liked yours a teeny bit more burned, so you let yours bubble and blacken a bit more to ensure optimum gooey-ness before placing it above your cocktail, leaving Miguel's lightly toasted before placing his.

They looked damn delicious, if you did say so yourself.

Miguel gave a tiny congratulatory clap as he watched you finish garnishing the drinks, his lips still curled in that smirk of his.

He took the stem of the glass and plucked the skewer from the rim, making a small show of his tongue curling around the sweet fluffy treats before pulling them off the stick and into his mouth.

He felt his gut twist with a fire as he watched you awkwardly avoid looking at him once more as you munched on yours a bit less eloquently than he did, getting some of the delicious sticky treat on your bottom lip. Miguel continued to watch with ravenous eyes as your tongue swiped the excess off and into your waiting mouth.

Miguel cleared his throat to get your attention again, and lifted his glass in a small toast, "Salud."

Your smile could melt his heart any day, and he felt it do a funny little flip as you returned it. "Salud!"

You wanted to squirm with glee when you saw his eyebrows shoot up when the flavor hit his mouth. You could tell by his expression that it wasn't bad; on the contrary, it was the look of someone who tried something new for the first time and absolutely loved it.

"Muy Bien." Miguel grinned. "You're right. This is good. I didn't know this cocktail existed 'til you showed me."

"See?" You chuckled, licking some of the fluff and crackers off the rim before taking another sip (something Miguel couldn't help but shamelessly watch). "I love looking up drink recipes. There's this one made from melon liqueur that involves soaking chunks of the melon in the alcohol, right..."

"That sounds good... Sprinkle a little chili-lime salt on it, it could almost be like a treat I used to eat as a kid with my brother." He grinned at you.

"We'd go to the park, buy a mango fresh from the bodega, some of the salt, and just sit on a bench and eat it after school."

"Oh! You can make it with mangos, too! We could try that." You chirp helpfully, ignoring how your heart skipped a beat

"I'd like that." Miguel chuckled, taking another sip. "Perhaps I can make you a white Russian, too?"

"Oh! That sounds good! I've never had one of those..."

You smiled, taking in the quiet, budding camaraderie between you and your boss. Lyla had long since moved her little holographic self to the kitchen, carefully monitoring the food so it didn't burn, so it was just you and Miguel in the comfortable silence as you enjoyed your drinks.

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God, of course you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. The moment you finished your chores and bade Miguel goodnight, you ran to your room, your heart fluttering like a wild hummingbird.

It was the booze. It had to be the booze.

Especially with these thoughts running through your head. He was your boss.

He was your boss.

You couldn't think about him like that, it would only complicate things. Being friends you could do, but... job romances always ended nasty. Like when you broke up with your coworker at the insurance office.

Bryce was still pissy about that and would harass you on occasion, sending hurtful and suggestive e-messages to your addresses.

But... working for a guy who may as well have been molded by the gods themselves; how the fuck were you to function properly without your mind wandering to less family-friendly thoughts?

The answer: not fucking easily.

Like right now, you were laid back on your cushy, soft bed, your fingers rolling soft circles onto your clit as you plunged your silicone dildo in and out of your wet and messy channel, your slick and juices leaving a shiny and creamy trail along the length as you twisted and pulled, desperately trying to get that orgasm you wanted. Thankfully you had a towel cushioned beneath you to contain your mess...

Hell, you tried watching porn on your phone, but even that could only get you so fired up. And thus, you were stuck with what your imagination could cook up.

And right now it was a heated image of Miguel leaning over you, whispering filthy things into your ear;

"Ah, so wet and needy, doll? Need my help to work you through it?" He would growl, his teeth just barely grazing the shell of your ear.

"That's it, just tip it up a bit more, thrust it harder--like that. Good girl."

You couldn't help the small moans and breathy gasps that trembled free from your lungs as you felt that wonderful pressure begin to curl your toes.

Your fingers slid down, gathering some of your slick as you imagined Miguel praising you, encouraging what you were doing as you used your wetness to lubricate your fingers so you could do smoother rolls on your little bundle of nerves.

"Good girl." He'd breathe softly, his voice a hair above a whisper as his breath fanned over your cheeks. You could imagine smelling his cologne and aftershave wafting off of him, his natural musk bleeding beneath it all...

"Get yourself nice and wet. Keep going. So close now, muñeca, so close."

You imagined him then, behind your closed eyes, hissing through clenched teeth as he would smack your hand off of your toy, taking the base in his palm before shoving it roughly up into you.

"Need my help, huh? Your little hands not good enough? Fine."

He'd lean back, staring down at you with heavy, lidded eyes as he roughly fucked you with that pale imitation of a real dick; the bulge in his pants straining against the seams in a way you'd swear they would burst.

Miguel would bring a hand back, slicking his messy hair, the sticky gel coming loose from the sweat and heat that was shared in such a small space between you; and he would rip the buttons of his shirt open as he watched you squeak and mewl as your orgasm got closer.

He'd grin down at you, his crooked teeth gleaming like shark teeth on display as he'd twist and thrust the toy up further and further, hitting every spot you needed with every deft curve of his hand.

"And once I'm done, magdalena, I will show you what a real cock can do to that cute little pussy of yours."

You tossed your head back when your imagination spat that line of dialogue out, and moaned wantonly as your orgasm gushed out of you, every muscle in your body tensing and relaxing all at the same time as the euphoria crashed into you like a violent surf.

You just couldn't contain yourself, crying breathily at the mental image:

"Miguel."

You laid there for what felt like forever, breathing, trying to regain from the intense orgasm that made your head and heart pound.

That's when the post-coital clarity began to set in, and you sat up abruptly, covering your mouth in sheer shock at the fact you just called out his name.

Your boss's name.

You looked around, knowing it was stupid, that he couldn't have possibly heard you from elsewhere in the house, but the flush that crept up your body was there all the same.

Equal parts shame and arousal, honestly...

Thankfully, Miguel didn't hear you.

But you were still none the wiser to the cameras above your bed, pointing straight down at you; feeding right to Miguel's office so he could watch you like his own private peep show.

And you were definitely none the wiser about the thick ropes of cum that covered Miguel's fingers, or how his lips curled into a sick smile as he licked his warm spend from his own hand, his face awash in the dim glow from the monitors in front of him.

Yes. You were going to be a fun little project.

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Part 4: Link

[onetwothreefarkle]

alright @quinton-reviews, here's my nicktoons unite playable characters lineup. I limited myself to shows I've actually watched, which made it harder, but also I think way funnier.

Skipper from The Penguins of Madagascar. You need a weirdly specific invention or explanation for a plot hole? Kowalski can make it happen, using random garbage left at the zoo, defying all logic and reason. Also Skipper as a character is utterly ridiculous and would immediately try to take charge, which given everyone else is humanoid, is extremely funny.

Henry Hart/Kid Danger from The Adventures of Kid Danger. I think he could fill a similar role as Danny Phantom. They're both superhero themed, and he could keep up a similar "I can't let them know my secret identity" bit. Also, I think forcing the nicktoons unite canonicity to overlap with the NSU canonicity is funny. The lore just got EVEN WORSE.

Bloom from Winx Club. I haven't watched the Nickelodeon reboot, but I loved the original growing up. The world of Winx is already a multiverse, including both a mundane world and the Magic Dimension, so universe hopping is not far fetched. Of all of these characters, I think she is the most suited to this adventure.

And, finally, Eliza from The Wild Thornberrys. It's canon in the Madagascar franchise that the animals can't communicate with humans, but Eliza can talk to animals, so that fixes that problem. Also I needed to include at least one classic, pre Y2K nicktoon on here, for my own nostalgia's sake.

I hope the lineup is up to snuff, mr. reviews!

[euitefto]

Is there a fanfic out there where every character from every fanfic on Ao3 suddenly appears in the real world?

Imagine the chaos that would ensue. How would food supply be affected by the sudden increase in population? Would the government assign people a character to live with? Would that be ethical? Would there be a rise in SA cases across the world due to smut fic characters getting attacked by obsessive readers? How would we deal with villain characters and cannibals? (I’m looking at you Hannibal fans) How would you explain to super-powered characters that they are now powerless and have to abide by the laws of physics? Would vigilante characters (this includes super heroes) continue their vigilante activities in the real world regardless of being powerless? What would happen if severely traumatized characters decided to hunt down their authors to ask them why they made them suffer so much? (Or perhaps kill them as revenge)

I just woke up from a dream in which this happened. It was a short dream where all that happened was the initial inciting moment when all these characters suddenly came to life. There were several people, including myself who had somehow managed to predict this was going to happen through some means of scientific study. (Like quantum fluctuations or something) So at first I was super excited about this happening because it meant the multiverse could actually be a real scientific theory. But then I realized how chaotic and messy the situation actually was when I was face to face with like fanfic versions of real life people (BTS fandom I’m looking at you) and morally corrupt characters and the likes.

And all these characters appeared at random in random locations. So characters suddenly appear in places like people’s apartments, homes, at school, at places of work, in the middle of the street, libraries, congress, national forests, farmlands, factories, garbage disposal facilities, airports, trains, train stations, etc.

Some characters ended up appearing is super odd spaces too like getting trapped in lockers, water tanks, attics, wells, sewers, construction sites, in the literal ocean, etc. If it was a space big enough to fit a single person, they could end up there.

And it’s like literally every character from every fic on Ao3. So there were a lot of character duplicates from different AUs. In my dream Ao3 had to shut down so people couldn’t post anymore content to prevent more characters from showing up.

There was one author who had pulled an all nighter to finish the last chapter of their very popular fic and just as they were about to hit the post button, Ao3 shut down. And then like moments later the main character from their fic appeared in their apartment but they only had memory of their life in the fanfic up until the second to last chapter.

So yeah, I wonder if this has been done before or not.

[neon-draws-sometimes]

IVE BEEN WORKING ON YHIS DANG WIP SIBCE DECEMBER

In the Back of My Mind

Prompt “you lied to me”

It was too bright and your eyes hurt. A sickly sweet smell, like medicine, stung your nose. You don’t know where you are. You barely remember who you are.

You remember a name though. Fresh. He’s important to you, but you don’t know why. Their name alone comforts you somewhat. If you’re seriously hurt or lost (kidnapped?) they’ll find you, right?

As you trudge on, you start to feel an odd sensation, but the only way you can think to describe it is becoming less and less real. It’s like the brightly colored walls are taking you in.

You sit down for just a second, that turns into a minute. You can’t get back up. Eventually it all fades to the black of unconsciousness.

You awake to find you have no idea where you are. As you look at the snow covered ground, a couple of things come back to you.

Your name is Error, previously Geno, even more previously Sans. You are in Snowdin, where you used to live. You used to destroy AUS of the multiverse. 

You have a very bad memory, and you had forgotten your time being Sans and Geno for a long time. 

Your friend Fresh visited you in your antivoid when you wouldn’t even get up in the morning (metaphorically, as in reality there is no time in the antivoid). They are your closest friend. They’re a parasite that feeds on souls and can feel no emotion but fear. And that’s okay. You don’t really blame him for it or anything. He didn’t ask to be a parasite or feed on souls. And he really helped you when you were down. Still does, honestly. 

Oh yeah, and your eyesight is garbage. Fresh always tells you to wear your glasses, but they kinda embarrass you. The glasses, not Fresh. You feel like you should be able to do it yourself. You only let Fresh help because there’s no keeping him out. And it probably gives them something to do, anyways. You doubt he has any hobbies besides scaring random people and collecting old junk. 

You don’t remember how you got to Snowdin though. Or why you were in that strange bright room earlier. You’re definitely still missing some pieces, but hopefully those will come back to you.

Also, you notice Snowdin somehow feels…perfect? Usually when you visit an AU’s Snowdin, it always feel slightly off in a way that drives you insane (and makes you miss what you’ve lost) but this one just feels right to you. Everything is exactly the way you remember it last.

While sneaking along the path to your house, the peaceful sound of silence fills your ears. Despite no one at all being out on the way to your home, you aren’t feeling creeped out, despite what this is usually a sign of. You don’t smell any dust in the air though, only the sharp smell of pine.

You make it to your house, which looks lovely lit up by the colorful lights hung on it, and try the door knob. The door slides open and you walk in, using all your strength not to run. 

You walk over to the couch and sink into it, enjoying the familiar comfort. You close your eyes for just a moment, reliving your old lifetime.

You awake with a start to realize you’ve fallen asleep. Despite that, you’re still pretty tired. You feel kinda of drained even though you haven’t really done anything that demanding. Strange.

You sleepily pad about the house, finding interest in the minor things like the chips being the exact brand and flavor you like, or the fact that Papyrus’s room is locked. On second look, it seems like the chips are just crumbs. Sort of disappointing, but it makes sense considering this world was so empty. 

Still tired, you decide to get comfortable in the couch again and soon fade into sleep again.

When you wake up, you decide it’s time for you to go. The empty au is peaceful, but Fresh is probably getting worried about your absence. Also, it could be dangerous if he chose to wait for you in the antivoid. You freeze for a second, immobilized by the thought that your mistakes have ruined another person’s life yet again. But you try to clear the thought away. Fresh is smart, and you’ve warned him before that antivoid was dangerous alone. But still, you worry.

As you stand there on the soft carpet of your living room, you start to understand something terrible. You can’t leave. No matter how you try, your magic won’t pull up the exit to your antivoid. Now you’re really stressing. 

 Fresh will probably tear the multiverse apart looking for you though. And you’ll end up okay. You hope.

You sit back in the couch and cradle your arms against your chest. You feel exhausted, even though you were just asleep.

Strangely, you think you hear footsteps outside. But you’re pretty sure this au is empt-

“GREETINGS BROTHER! I HAVE ARRIVED HOME FROM MY IMPORTANT TASK OF RESTORING SNOWDIN’S PUZZLES. AND I HAVE BROUGHT GROCERIES!”

Oh my god. It’s him. You have to get out of here before he notices yo-

“WELL, ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SIT THERE, OR HELP ME OUT?” Papyrus inquires in your direction.

Is he talking to you? It can’t be possible, but you’re the only one here, and maybe this has a reasonable explanation? Maybe his brother was somehow also an error?lo

You gape at him for a couple more minutes before grabbing a bag of groceries and walking to the kitchen.

Alright, you can handle this… you’ll just help him out with the bags and then slip away to a different part if this world, and leave his real brother to explain.

As you open the fridge and deposit the chips from the bag, you ponder the surreal day you’ve been having. It’s been almost dreamlike in it’s bizarreness. 

Later, you tell Papyrus you’re going to take a nap and walk out to waterfall. You keep going, letting your feet guide you. (Is that the saying.?) You run your hand along the familiar wall as until you reach a room. The telescope is just where you left it and sit against the wall. You’ll just have to wait until somebody finds you. You can’t go back to Papyrus now. 

You hear crunching gravel coming closer to you and realize you had closed you eyes again. You open them to see the surprisingly welcome sight of absurdly saturated shoes, which of course belong to Fresh. You almost sigh aloud on relief. Now that he found you, you can go home. 

You’re sure he knows a way. If it can find a way at into your Antivoid, it can probably get you out of here, right?

You want to say something but you don’t know what, and it seems he doesn’t either. You both stare at each other for a long moment as the silence stretches on, before Fresh finally breaks the silence with an awkward cough.

“Uh. Hey?” You attempt.

His face gives you the impression of a caged animal. 

He just keeps staring. 

Maybe more like a cat going to the vet, when you think more about it. His sunglasses are blank, and he looks genuinely upset. It’s hard to remind yourself that he isn’t really upset. 

Finally, he breaks the silence with a weak “sup.” He’s not even capitalizing properly. It’s honestly kind of concerning. 

“…um.” Your mind raced as you tried to figure out what to say. You were never really the best at comforting people, you just never knew what to say. 

“You okay?” You try to start with a simple question.

BONUS UNRELATED IMAGE

[gallusrostromegalus]

So apparently there's a new Leg of Zeg game out and Link got an engineering degree while I wasn't looking. Good for him! Let's talk more Anime:

-A mysterious broadcast signal from the moon turns all humans on earth into stone! Several thousand years later, veteran Time Traveler Link pops out of his stone cocoon, decides that 'doing it the long way' sucks, and stomps off to rebuild civilization using random garbage and looney tunes physics.

-A terrible new form of space weapon called a "Mobile Suit" has been created- these child-controlled behemoths cut swathes of destruction as they wage a territorial space war, impervious to all but the most powerful weapons, and that one kid carrying a frankly improbable number of explosives and a smartphone that can manipulate inertia and electromegnetism (??), riding around on what appears to be a rocket-powered tractor.

-While out at summer camp Child of Destiny Link is suddenly transported to the Digital World, where an adorable little blob of an animal declares itself Link's Digimon Partner! No stranger to having a Weird, Loud little critter following him around, Link is slightly perplexed when the fat orb wants to fight the enormous monster on his behalf. Silly Digimon- that's HIS job! Grappling hooks his ass up to Devimon's castle and beats him to death with a tennis racket he found on the way.

-A mysterious book called a DEATHNOTE falls out of the sky in front of Link, who carefully reads the rules, and shrugs, because if he REALLY needs someone dead, He's going to want to do it in person, and Link has never given a shit about the police. He's gonna hang onto this book, because it looks like an important quest item, and Ryuk languishes in Links Inventory for the rest of the Series.

-The barbaric battles where legendary and historical figures are summoned to fight on behalf of Mages known as the Grail Wars are rudely interrupted when Link sees Iskandar, assumes it's Ganon AGAIN, and beats his way through the lineup to get to him, even besting Gilgamesh by putting the king's inventory skills to shame.

-Salt Middle School gets a new transfer student and Shigeo Kageyama is initially distraught by his teacher assigning HIM to show the New Kid around, but turns out, Link ALSO enjoys Milk, long amicable silences and complaining about getting into stupid battles with the multiverse's most magically overpowered and emotionally constipated Dumb asses. It's nice, to have a reliatively uncomplicated friendship for once.

I’ll cop to being, at best, a casual anime fan and an incidental nintendo fan like some sort of goose that got lost on migration and decided to stay for the catchy musical score but I’ve had a thought that’s been making me laugh for like 20 min now:

Replacing any Shonen Protagonist with Legend of Zelda’s Protagonist Horrible Klepto Gremlin and Professional Fightboy,  Link.

Doesn’t matter which link beyond “what’s funniest in this particular scenario”.  Maybe a specific Link, maybe an amalgamation of all Links into a superpowered multidimensional agent of Chaos.  A HyperLink, if you will.

Then plop that bad boy down into the start of any Shonen anime and watch it go completely off the rails.

Juevenile Delinquent With A Heart Of Gold Link (really, could you imagine Link in a middle school setting?  not for more than five minutes before he jumps out of the Designated Protagonist Window at the back of the classroom)  dives in front of a car to save a small child’s life.  Botan, the grim reaper in the form of a blue-haired anime hot chick, comes to explain his peculiar situation, only for him to get up halfway through the speech about Karma becuase he still, somehow, has half a heart left, baffling everyone.

Local Weirdo Link hangs out in a graveyard every night graverobbing Communing With The Spirits, until Some Nerd keeps getting him into weird situations and eventually he ends up on a plane to America to participate in some kind of tournament for godhood. They get all the way to the third round before anyone realized Link doesn’t have a spirit companion, he’s his own Kickass Sword Dude.

Famously Young Orphan Link attempts an arcane ritual to bring his mother back, only to be confronted with a Manifestation of all Knowledge In The Universe, who then attempts to take his limbs and a sibling. Link, who has kicked several gods and the actual spacetime continum in the dick before, does not stand for this Malarkey

Chronically Ill superhero Toshionori Yagi is looking for someone to take up the quirk One For All and is impressed by the courage of a young maniac attempting to protect the people of the town from a monstrous villain whilst armed with a pointed stick, and takes him on as his apprentice.  Link, surprised to be starting with the Triforce of Power this time, is agreeable to this, and attends superhero high school in hopes of locating the triforces of Courage and Wisdom.

Related question: Is Link Literate?  I know him through fragmentary playthroughs of Breath of The Wild, the one with the bird, and the one with the boat and I honestly don’t know if he can read.

Professional Monster Ass-Kicker and Sword Collector Link arrives in The Seritei and promptly goes after the Tall Dude With The Elaborate Hair That Monolouges About Power on the assumption he’s found Ganondorf again, and gives Zaraki Kenpachi the fight of his life.

The residents of the Village hidden in the lead poisoning Leaves avoid the blond boy with the rap sheet of misdemeanors a mile long and constant nonsensical yelling, assuming his strange ways are due to the fox spirit the previous Mayor of Murdertown stuffed into his intestines as a baby. Several Hundred Episodes, a completely destroyed chunin exam and a lot of screaming later, Kyubei comments  “No, he’s Just Like That.”

Seto Kaiba, Professional Rich Bitch: “IT’S TIME TO DUEL!!” Seto Kaiba, about to learn what Consquences are “…What are you doing with that sword?”

The only Shonen Anime Link doesn’t completely send off the rails one way or another is the orginal Dragonball, becuase accepting an extensive and bizzare fetchquest from a random blue-haired chick is 100% in-character for any and all Links.

[vietngocbs]

Nhạt nhòa quá nhỉ :))) Cũng dễ hiểu thôi bởi đây không phải là nhân vật chính của phim =))) Với lại hiện các hành động Kang không có gì là tạo ra nguy hiểm TRỰC TIẾP cho chúng ta cả! Nó giống như việc giờ mà giải tán Bộ Chính trị thì cũng chả có vấn đề gì lớn lắm với đời sống xã hội ấy. Quyết định các vấn đề về quốc phòng và an ninh thì chúng ta đã có Hội đồng Quốc phòng và An ninh :D

Uh. Hiện mình chả biết nên chém gì vì chưa rõ Marvel Studios sẽ xây dựng khái niệm Xâm lấn thực tại (Multiverse incursions) như thế nào khi định nghĩa gốc từ truyện tranh hiện chả khớp gì với mạch phim về Kang vừa được giới thiệu cả! :| Nói thế nào nhờ, cái này giống sự khác nhau giữa việc sáp nhập các đơn vị sự nghiệp công lập và sáp nhập các doanh nghiệp ấy: Với cái đầu, điểm khó nhất là sắp xếp việc làm cho các nhân sự bị trùng lặp về chức năng, nhiệm vụ trong khi nhân sự ở vị trí lãnh đạo - quản lý thì hết nhiệm kì là nghỉ thôi. Còn khi sáp nhập doanh nghiệp thì ngược lại, nhân sự lãnh đạo - quản lý luôn là đối tượng bị xem xét thay thế đầu tiên, còn nhân sự ở vị trí khác thì thường được bảo lưu.

***

So I've pulled this, but while looking at it, I see commit 5c0f220e1b2d ("Merge branch 'for-linus/hardening' into for-next/hardening").

And that one-liner shortlog part is literally the whole commit message.

I've said this before, and apparently I need to say this again: if you cannot be bothered to explain WHY a merge exists, then that merge is buggy garbage by definition.

This really should be a rule that every single developer should take to heart. I'm not just putting random words together in a random order.

I repeat: if you cannot explain a merge, then JUST DON'T DO IT.

It's really that simple. There is absolutely NEVER an excuse for merges without explaining why those merges exist.

In this case, I really think that merge should not have existed at all, and the lack of explanation is because there IS no explanation for it.

But if there was a reason for it, then just state it, dammit, and make that merge commit look sensible.

Because right now it just looks entirely pointless. And I literally detest pointless merges. They only make the history look worse and harder to read.

So I've pulled this, but while looking at it, I see commit 5c0f220e1b2d ("Merge branch 'for-linus/hardening' into for-next/hardening").

And that one-liner shortlog part is literally the whole commit message.

I've said this before, and apparently I need to say this again: if you cannot be bothered to explain WHY a merge exists, then that merge is buggy garbage by definition.

This really should be a rule that every single developer should take to heart. I'm not just putting random words together in a random order.

I repeat: if you cannot explain a merge, then JUST DON'T DO IT.

It's really that simple. There is absolutely NEVER an excuse for merges without explaining why those merges exist.

In this case, I really think that merge should not have existed at all, and the lack of explanation is because there IS no explanation for it.

But if there was a reason for it, then just state it, dammit, and make that merge commit look sensible.

Because right now it just looks entirely pointless. And I literally detest pointless merges. They only make the history look worse and harder to read.

Linus Torvalds, Response for request to merge Linux v6.3-rc1 into main branch

***

Trước hai [cha con] họ Hồ đến Kỳ La là định chạy vào Tân Bình. Dân ở đó, có một phụ lão ra bái yết thưa rằng:

"Xứ này tên là Ky Lê, trên có núi Thiên Cầm là điều không lành. Xin chớ lưu lại".

[Quý Ly] liền chém người ấy. Đến đây, quả nhiên bị bắt trói ở chổ ấy.

Giản Định Đế - Quyển IX: Kỉ Hậu Trần; Bản kỷ; Đại Việt Sử Ký Toàn Thư (1697)

À mà với 420 con ngựa ở đoạn ngay dưới: Người Minh thống kê những thứ đã thu được: 48 phủ, châu, 168 huyện, 3.129.500 hộ, 112 con voi, 420 con ngựa, 35.750 con trâu bò, 8.865 chiếc thuyền, thì cho rằng “Nhà Hồ thất bại vì đã có một cuộc khủng hoảng trầm trọng về vận tải nội địa” liệu có hợp lý hay không?

[garbage-eater144]

THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS

i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.

so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview

Starting video captions

[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.

[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)

[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)

[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.

[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.

I Think I Heard Numbers!

[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!

{mechanical whirring}

[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1

{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- please respond.

[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression

{clicking and mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.

[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2

Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…

[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}

[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-

[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.

But you didn’t say anything…

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.

{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}

[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.

Uh… potato salad?

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]- response accepted

{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}

[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.

[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.

{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.

{windows error tone}

{tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.

{scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- I saw you die

[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}

[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad

[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete

{mechanical noises}

[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?

[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}

Yeah, I’m dead.

[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..

{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}

[WAIA]- theres. still. time.

He said… potato salad?

[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}

[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!

{mechanical clicking and whirring}

{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:

{robot sounds}

[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?

YES

[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

NO

[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

[akawestruck]

So Loki's writing was pretty good, but the twist was...???

Spoilers below

There were six episodes of drama only for the twist to be that... the TVA... was telling the truth, actually.

In the very first episode Miss Minutes explains that the many multiverses were at war until the timekeepers stepped in, killed off all the others to maintain the One True Timeline, and now the TVA is maintaining that timeline by pruning (killing) variants.

And the BIG TWIST is that... that's true. That is, indeed, exactly what is happening, and why. Some of the details were obscured for... reasons? To make it an easier pill to swallow?

The multiverse war was mostly initiated by versions of one guy, not randoms. There is one timekeeper instead of three. The TVA are perfectly mind wiped variants, not created wholesale. Pruning doesn't instantly kill people, it just sends them to the garbage compactor at the end of time that then kills them.

So what??

None of this information changes anything. There's no reason for Loki to be against killing He Who Remains, when previously he was ready to behead the original Timekeepers, except that he didn't think through the consequences of murdering the people enforcing 'peace' until they were explained to him (again). The TVA people are pissed about being lied to, sure, but their 'sacred' mission won't change beyond a little extra dose of empathy and guilt when they carry it out now.

The central question remains as it was at the beginning of the show - how do we ethically maintain peace among conflicting viewpoints (multiverses) without restricting personal freedom (free will)?

Unfortunately, I don't really expect Marvel to tackle that question. More likely we'll be punching morals into proto-He Who Remains (and murdering a few bad apple versions of him) until it's not a problem anymore.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing August 30 - 12 September 2020

Here’s this week’s roundup! Aug 30 - 12 Sep!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@angelselene​

Stand Without Flinching (Ch. 20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763293/chapters/63998467

Gundam Wing, Marvel Cinematic Universe

F/F, F/M, M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei/Sally Po, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Duo Maxwell/OMC, Heero Yuy/OFC, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Duo Maxwell, Tony Stark, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Sally Po, Lady Une, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft, Shinigami - Character, James "Bucky" Barnes

Mature, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Fix-It, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Real Family, Not Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop Compliant, Enhanced Gundam Pilots, Preventers (Gundam Wing), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ambiguous Morality, Morally Ambiguous Character, undecided ships to come, Family Reunification Act, Parent Tony Stark, Slow Burn, Found Family

For Duo Maxwell, family are the people he has loved and lost and whose names he bears.

For Tony Stark, family has always been blood and a name and Howard's shadow looming over him.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

Twenty Kisses (Ch. 12) https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038704/chapters/63863065

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader

Romance, Kissing, Drabble Collection, Reader-Insert

Prompt: a hoarse whisper “kiss me”.

Deadly Intent (Ch. 3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576657/chapters/64129522#workskin

F/M, Heero/Reader, ???/Reader

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Wufei Chang, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft, Reader

Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Reader Insert, Drama, Angst, Romance, Violence, Lime

Eleven years is a long time for a ghost to come back and haunt him. But Heero Yuy finds himself unable to dodge or outrun it. It’s the start of a dangerous cat and mouse game between one of the most powerful organizations in the world and a loner who has every intention of dragging him down with her. After all, she has come with deadly intent.

Twenty Kisses (Ch. 13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038704/chapters/64158358

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader

Romance, Kissing, Drabble Collection, Reader-Insert

Prompt: following the kiss with a series of kisses down the neck.

@coffeetailor​

Touched by the Stars (Ch. 3&4) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314657/chapters/64358008

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei

Explicit, thar be porn, Dubious Consent, Aliens, Alien Abduction, Alternate Universe, mention of MPREG, everyone takes a turn with Wufei, alien anatomy and interesting dicks, Tentacles, Monster Boys, Slime, Double Cocks, Cum Inflation, Knotting, Oral, multiple dicks, Xeno, Spitroasting

University instructor Chang Wufei didn't even believe in aliens, much less intentionally attract their attention. But that doesn't mean much when they decided he'd be the ideal final mate for their group and scoop him off of the planet to take home to their queen. Enjoying him on the trip there, of course.

@duointherain​

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers (Ch. 12) https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/627927154018205696/beneath-leprechauns-and-clovers-1212

“Goddamn SON of a Bitch!” Duo screamed, staring at the place that Martha had been. Rage sparked around his head, amethyst lightening dancing around hair that just didn’t want to be constrained. He held out his left hand and his favorite scythe appeared. It was the one that Heero had given him on that first mission where Relena had been included. It sparked to life with a green fiery rage. “I have been trying to be so good! I have been trying to be friendly and peaceful and civilian! I look at the people at school and mom’s nice polite house and I have tried SO fucking hard!

TheManwell

The Silencer and the Sicarian (Ch. 7&8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478938/chapters/61806169

M/M, Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Solo

Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Chang Wufei, Solo (Gundam Wing), Hilde Schbeiker, Catherine Bloom, Kyouju H | Instructor H, Middie Une, Sister Helen (Gundam Wing), Heero Yuy, Professor G (Gundam Wing), Doctor J (Gundam Wing), Quatre Raberba Winner, Rashid Kurama, Abdul (Gundam Wing), Roushi O | Master O, Doktor S (Gundam Wing)

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Wufei POV, Duo POV, Trowa POV, Solo POV

It was just one vow. A simple but necessary promise to respect life -- both human and fey -- but can Duo hold to it when his resolve is put to the ultimate test?

@tziganecaffiends

In the Bleak Midwinter https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219125/chapters/63812077

M/M, Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada

Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada, Mariemaia Khushrenada

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Enemies to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Sleepy Cuddles, Prisoner of War, Eye Trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, random cameos, Post-War, Character Death Fix, Fix-It of Sorts, Parent/Child Incest, Frozen Teardrop has a lot to answer for, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mecha, Battle, Multiverse, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Everyone Needs Therapy, Treize gets a dog, Garbage cat, Drinking

Something that had happened down in the office had been bothering him, wanting to come out. The veil of pretending had been pulled down, perhaps, and there was an unspeakable relief in having it said out loud, in having argued with Treize. Someone that smart shouldn't be that much of an idiot. As if there would only be one right way to end things? ZERO was fucked up and weirdly layered. It gave battle statistics, yes, but it also had a limited future function if someone fiddled with it long enough, and Wufei had.

Wufei had looked. Treize had apparently been happy to end with everyone goes on but me. And whatever had driven him to stop looking in ZERO was still in his head. Whatever it was that made a man just tap out hadn't magically resolved itself, which was a shame because Treize was carrying on as if it had. He couldn't fix that. Didn't know where to start unpicking that rats' nest in the man's skull, and it wasn't his responsibility.

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/628530984276639744/its-here-cue-last-impression

Wing Zero, gunpla

@gundammeta​

https://gundammeta.tumblr.com/post/628112239191293952

Tallgeese and the Goose™, fanart

@gwfrozentears​

https://gwfrozentears.tumblr.com/post/628482816007634944/al-fin-terminado-me-decidi-usar-stickers-en-lugar

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@silkytea-art​

https://silkytea-art.tumblr.com/post/628646956308348928/was-anyone-elses-childhood-spent-pining-for-the

Heero Yuy, fanart

@the-efaf-draws​

https://the-efaf-draws.tumblr.com/post/628475380147322880/long

WuFei Chang, fanart

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@janaverse​

https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/628542891987435520/all-together-now-despite-the-five-of-them

5 pilots together, Sims

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628011527357808640/heero-look-i-know-that-from-the-outside-it-seems

Heero & Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628540026505052160/trowa-practicing-pick-up-lines-i-can-take-you-to

Trowa & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628929354629513216/duo-so-whats-for-dinner-heero-staring-at-the

Duo & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628991226010632192

Quatre cat cry

@disturbed02girl​

Calendar Events:

@gwcocktailfriday​

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, September 18th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/629061052992225280/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday

In need of WINTER/SPRING prompts!

@gwoc-october​

GW OC October 2020!

Calendar and Prompt list will be posted up on September 17th! Watch for it!

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/624053314842230784/event-calendar-update

GW Holiday Gift Exchange 2020

Information: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/627952774875906048/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-2020

Sign-up Form: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/628041703013662720/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-2020-sign-ups

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out! 

There may potentially be something, happening somewhere, for Halloween spookiness!

[astral-multiverse]

Super Smash Bros. Multiverse: Arle & Carbuncle Moveset + Extras

Stage Entrance: A bunch of Garbage Puyos appear and Arle breaks through with Carbuncle by her side and they get into their stance

Alternate Costumes: Default, Amitie colors, Ringo colors, Rulue colors, Dark Prince colors, Schezo colors, Witch colors, Cat costume

Gimmick: Puyo Puyo. Every Standard Attack causes Puyos to appear in a small box next to Arle and Carbuncle's damage counter and when the colors in the box match, Arle's spells and Puyo attacks get stronger for one attack

Moves

Neutral Jab/Rapid Jab: Garbage Puyos are thrown towards the direction Arle is facing. Rapid Jab is Carbuncle flailing his arms in front of him

Side Tilt: Carbuncle jumps towards opponent to tackle them

Up Tilt: Makes a cold mist appear above her with her ice magic

Down Tilt: A random Puyo falls from the sky onto the opponent

Dash Attack: A wall of Garbage Puyos appear in front of Arle as she rams into whoever is in her path

Side Smash: Fire Arrow. Arle uses her fire magic to make an arrow of fire go flying in front of her in a straight line

Up Smash: A line of Puyos pop in front of Arle and they make sparks go up in the air. Have good vertical reach

Down Smash: Garbage Puyos fall all around Arle, scaring her and Carbuncle as if they weren't expecting it

Neutral Air: Carbuncle spins around Arle

Forward Air: Arle swings her magic forward

Back Air: Arle does a backhanded slap behind her

Up Air: Throws Puyos into the air and they fall to the ground, doing small damage. Sweet spot is before the Puyos start falling to the ground

Down Air: Sends Garbage Puyos below her

Neutral Special: Thunder Burst. A yellow sphere expands around Arle, growing as long as the Special button is held. When released or reached it's maximum size, Arle unleashes a powerful electric spell to shock whoever is around her. It can stun and do good damage, but it leaves Arle vulnerable as she's preparing it

Side Special: Glacieria. Arle sends a bullet of ice towards wherever she's facing and it can freeze opponents at high percentages and leaves an ice trail to slow down opponents

Up Special: Tornado. Arle uses her wind magic to send herself flying upwards and spinning around until she lands on her feet. Cannot attack in this state

Down Special: Spooky. Arle casts a spell to intimidate her opponents (despite her and Carbuncle seeming more cute than intimidating) and whoever is in her range gets their attack power reduced for a couple of seconds

Grab: Carbuncle grabs onto the opponent

Pummel: Arle hits opponent with a weak spell

Throws

Forward: Blast. Arle makes an explosion in front of her and sends the opponent flying

Up: Sends opponents upwards with her Tornado spell

Down: Fires multiple Sonic Balls into the opponent on the ground before they get sent flying

Back: Carbuncle shows an incredible feat of strength by throwing the opponent behind them

Final Smash: Bayoen Fever! Arle captivates whoever is in range, stunning them long enough for Arle to unleash her most powerful magic spell on her opponents

Extras

Taunts:

Up- Arle jumps for joy, saying "Let's do this Carby!" before Carbuncle jumps as well and cheers in response

Down- Carbuncle jumps into Arle's arms and they both pose for the audience before Carbuncle jumps back down

Side- Arle sways from side to side, humming a song while Carbuncle dances around her

Idle Animations-

Regular- Arle bounces on her feet slightly as Carbuncle sways side to side

1- Arle fixes her ponytail while Carbuncle plays with a random Puyo

2- The duo look around simultaneously, looking in opposite directions of each other

Victory Theme- Victory of Puyo Puyo (Puyo Puyo Genesis)

Victory Poses:

1- Carbuncle bounces around before Arle picks him up and poses with a V sign, saying "Victory is ours Carby!" with Carbuncle going "Gugugu~! GU~!"

2- Resembles her victory pose from Puyo Puyo Tetris 1 & 2 after she jumps for joy alongside Carbuncle

3- Puyos fall all around them before Arle pops them and poses with her fingertip still emitting magical power

Boxing Ring Title: Puyo Puyo Duo

Crowd Cheer: Ar-le!! Car-by!!

[lonelyfujoshi]

Errink

Ink left again. He left Error all alone again and Error wasn't happy.

Error was in the living room watching his favorite series. Crying his nonexistent eyes out.

"Asgorooo!" He yelled, reaching for the TV screen when the scene of Asgoro having a heart attack played.

The pillow he clutched in his arms was wet with tears. Looking at him was laughable. Seeing the former destroyer cry easily like this.

In all honesty, the film wasn't the only thing he was crying about. He just decided to watch Undernovela to express his emotions while Ink was away.

Ahh, yes. Ink, the God of Creation.

He and Error had been dating for six years now. Almost seven. Two weeks from now will be their anniversary and Error couldn't help but be nervous of that.

Why?

He's been thinking that Ink is loosing interest in him. Error is scared.

He loved Ink with all of his life. He gave up destroying for the God of creation. He left the anti-void to live in their house for him. He tried doing good things out of his character for him.

He just loved Ink dearly.

And it all started ten years ago during Giftmas.

It was a special holiday for all monsters in the multiverse and the light and dark side has an untold treaty that no fight or attacks during this holiday.

No one established the rule, no one wrote it, no one spoke about it. It was just there. Monsters understanding the importance of the holiday.

Error sat on the cliff of Outertale where the stars shone to its brightest. His glasses on with his new galaxy scarf.

He sat there, enjoying the silence even when you can still hear the distant jingle in the town.

And Ink appeared.

Error scowled when the creator made his way to where he sat. He glared at Ink.

The creator however ignored the mean glare telling him to fuck off and sat down beside Error with a large grin. To close for the black skeleton's liking.

"What in the hell you doing here skittles?" Error grumbled harshly.

"Nothing much glitchy~. Just wanted to see the stars in this lovely night."

"Then go sit somewhere else. Don't ruin my night."

The smaller skeleton summoned his strings and began to play with it. Waiting for Ink's retort but it never came.

He looked up to see Ink staring at him with a thoughtful expression.

"... Nah." He finally said and Error wanted to hit the Ink blob with the brush he always had.

"But you know Error, tonight's Giftmas. I've given every monster I've encountered a gift to be traditional." Ink continued, looking up the sky.

Error glared at the string that somehow became tangled in his fingers and mumbled stuff like; "Who the hell asked?", "I don't give a fuck.", "Go do more of that and leave me alone."

Ink ignored his rude comments and summoned a window to his subspace. "So I thought... maybe I should give you a gift too."

"Hah! Did you really think that I'd want a gift from you?"

Again he was ignored as Ink continued to look for something in his subspace.

Error's socket twitched with annoyance. Watching Ink's body halfway through the window portal already, digging deeper into his pile of garbage as Error liked to call it.

The dark skeleton was about to push the lighter skeleton into wherever the window led because of his annoyance but Ink pulled back with a victorious laugh.

"Found it!"

Before Error could react, Ink placed the thing he got in front of the destroyer with a great big smile in his handsome face.

Error stared at it... Ink waiting for his reaction patiently.

In front of them was a pair of slippers. Red fluffy slippers that hugged your feet like socks and it had strings on the hole to tighten the hold if needed.

"Really?" Was all that Error could say. He didn't know what to feel about it. Ink, his supposedly mortal enemy, had just given him a 'gift' for some reason.

A pair of slippers no less. Error could tell that these were top quality and made for comfort. And how he loves comfortable things. The little sparkle in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Ink.

"Well go on! Try it!" Ink encouraged.

Error grumbled but complied nonetheless. He threw his strings away carelessly and grabbed the red slippers, put it on and stilled.

"Ehh? What do you think?"

The darker ignored Ink's teasing tone and wiggled his toes.

"It's okay I guess." He said.

And that was a fucking lie.

'Oh my GOD! THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE! I'M IN LOVE!' He screamed in his mind.

Unknown to him, the creator could see his softened look and the brightening of his eyes. The destroyer even unconsciously smiled.

Error looked up to see Ink staring at him with another one of those unreadable look.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Don't tell me you expect something in return cuz I ain't giving you anything. And you can't take these back!" He hissed.

Blinking, as if snapping out of trance, Ink made a confused noise before laughing.

"What the fuck? What is it rainbow asshole?!"

"Hahahaha haha.. hahhh... I-It's nothing Error. I just realized something."

"Tell me what is it."

"I like your smile."

Even with his fucked up memory, Error remembered this.

He remembered that the next day after that night, he anonymously sent Ink a puppet version of the creator. Ink soon found out it was from him.

Since then the lighter skeleton never initiated a fight. He acted all buddy buddy with Error which pissed off the darker to no end. It frustrated him greater than his frustration with the 90's parasite.

Ink messed with his emotions. The creator popped up in his mind in random times that he thought he was finally becoming insane. He thought he was.

Three giftmas holidays passed and Ink surprised Error with a confession. The glitch outright crashed the moment the words that Ink said, I like you, was processed by his 'brain'.

Error fled the moment he came to, in Ink's arms. He thought he was gonna die because of how loud his soul pounded. It actually hurt his ribs.

For a month he couldn't stop thinking of Ink and he didn't even realize ha had fallen for the creator. He also locked himself in the anti-void. Time passed and he decided to go out and destroy. Maybe to let some steam out.

Ink was there. Wherever he go, Ink was always there, wooing him.

Every sanses and their counterpart in every universe knew about Ink chasing Error, courting the destroyer, asking for his love.

Ink was very sweet in those times. Always giving Error presents even when the glitch thought it was weird because it's not even Giftmas.

The next giftmas came and Ink knelt in front of Error. They were surrounded by the bright stars of Outertale.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Ink said and Error was looking sick at how blue his face was.

His soul pounding. Emotions overflowing even though he was extremely confused with himself. He didn't know what he is feeling or what he was supposed to feel but everything felt right.

Even his inner voice telling him to say yes. 'It's not like people are lining up to hang with me anyway.' Was there as an excuse.

"Fine."

He never regretted agreeing.

Now though, Error was really worried.

It's because of the event that happened two weeks ago.

Since Error lived in the same house as Ink, the taller had always made time for him. His schedule was simple enough.

Leave for work in the council every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Leave the house by nine am and come back at around seven pm. Sunday is their special day as they usually go on dates.

Error usually stays in the house or visit Blue while Ink is away. Other times he goes AU hopping and going to Nightmare's castle.

Until this peaceful cycle was disturbed.

"Where are you going?" Error asked softly. He just woke up from his nap on the couch and he was rubbing on his sockets to help him wake quicker.

Ink was putting on his scarf and fixing his shoes by the mirror making Error confused.

"I'm just going on a meeting babe." Ink simply said with a smile.

"But... it's Thursday."

"Yeah, I just got called. Said it was an emergency."

After seeing the worried look on Error's face, Ink went up to the smalled and kissed his lover's face.

"Don't worry, it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be back before four so have lunch without me."

Error nods. "But wait." He holds Ink's arm.

"Let me prepare your lunch."

"No need babe. And I'm in a hurry so I gotta go." Ink said with a wave before he jumped into a portal.

By Saturday, Ink left again saying that he had to meet up with Reaper.

Error thought nothing of it because Reaper, being a God, sometimes meet up with other gods to see how the multivers is going.

And he thought, 'Oh, it's been a long time since I've been able to visit Geno. Maybe I should now that he's finally alone.'

Error planned to stay there for at least three hours so he got some chocolates, ketchup for Geno, blankets and puppets.

He puts them in a handmade bag before jumping into a portal.

"Hey, Geno! Thought it might be a good time to visit since Reaper-... Reaper?"

"Hey Error. What's up?" Geno greets him.

"Uh... the ceiling?" Error was still very confused that he couldn't come up with a proper reply.

"That would've been good pal, it's just that this place doesn't really have a ceiling." The cloaked skeleton beside Geno chuckled.

"Why are you here?" The dark skeleton asked.

"Job's slow today so I decided to visit my bea. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Geno too."

"Great, the more the merrier." Reaper said unenthusiastically. Clearly he wants some alone time with his 'boyfriend'. Well soon to be anyway.

"Uh heh, nice to see you again then, Error." Geno said awkwardly while Error stood there still.

"Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting with Ink?" The former destroyer finally asked.

"A meeting? Wha- Shit! We have a meeting?!" Reaper abruptly stood up, startling Geno.

"You forgot." His 'boyfriend' deadpanned.

"I didn't forget, I just didn't know." Reaper frowned.

"Uh maybe you should hurry, he left.. like an hour ago." Error said.

"Crap. I guess I'll see you later babe. Have fun with Error." Reaper left with a wave.

"Wow." Error and Geno said at the same time. They looked at eachother and laughed.

Half an hour later, there was a blanket fortress in the save screen. Two skeletons inside it, eating condiments and chocolates.

The 'screen' was blocked by Error's massive one way window portal and the watched Undernovela.

A portal opened and Error quickly lift the blanket up a little to see who it is.

It was Reaper.

"Oh hey Death, you finished your meeting with the creator?" Geno asked. He helped Error lift up the blanket.

"... Uh. No. I couldn't find Ink."

"WhAt?"

To be continued

[sqoiler]

THe Director's cut for into the spoilersverse please! and a star too!

ok i’m gonna copy-paste the fic and like. comment on sections. i guess.

so the idea for this fic came from me realizing i have a bunch of alternate stephs. someone had asked me about a black canary steph and i liked the idea but didn’t want to do a full fic with her, so i was kind of like “hey! what if the stephs met each other!” and here we are. 

Lex Luthor made a multiverse machine, in order to mine Kryptonite from other dimensions. It was kinda a good idea, except the machine was faulty, and kept dragging other stuff from the multiverse into Lex’s earth as well. 

The League was dispatched to deal with the alternate versions of themselves that were brought into their Earth. Before he left, Batman assigned everyone in Gotham to guard the city from the various monsters and Rogues who roamed the city.

Spoiler had just finished a fight with a female version of Oswald Cobblepot and was headed to Nightwing to help him deal with a pair of mischievous twins, when the air in front of her opened up and a dark shaped tumbled through. Spoiler grabbed her bo-staff and dropped into a crouch, wary.

i think the “mischievous twins” thing was supposed to be a reference to the batman beyond dee dee twins. 

The shape sat up, and Spoiler absorbed the dark cape and pointy ears, the purple flashes on the suit, and the golden curls tumbling down her back.

Spoiler met her own eyes.

“Shit,” the other girl said, and she stood, brushing off her knees. Spoiler lowered her bo-staff and straightened, looking at herself curiously. “Did you pull me here?”

“No,” Spoiler said. “Lex Luthor made a machine….”

“Say no more,” the other girl said, and Spoiler noticed a yellow bat emblazoned on her chest. Her mouth fell open.

“Batgirl?” she gasped. She vaguely recognized the suit from the images of the other timeline that she’d seen, months ago.

“Yeah,” Batgirl said. “And you’re Spoiler. I haven’t been Spoiler in years, but you make it work. I like the half-mask, it’s nice.”

“Thanks,” Spoiler said, feeling a little ridiculous. “Sorry, I’ve never met an alternate version of myself before.”

“Me neither,” Batgirl admitted. “Although you always hear about it, don’t you.”

“Yeah,” Spoiler agreed. This was seriously surreal. Seeing herself–same height, a little longer hair, but standing so confidently? Spoiler blinked and told herself not to compare. They were different, after all. “So, Batgirl, huh? How’d…how’d you land that?”

“Cass gave it to me,” Batgirl said, shrugging. “When B died. But he’s back now, don’t worry.”

“Huh,” Spoiler said, and she remembered the mentions of Cass as Batgirl, too. “So where’s Babs, then?”

“You mean Babs is still Batgirl in your universe?” Batgirl asked, eyes wide. “This universe?” She gestured around them. Spoiler nodded.

when i made this fic, i didn’t INTEND to slam dunk rebirth/new 52, but that’s what happened. i figured when i started that i needed the two “canon” stephs, and then i made a list of the other stephs i wanted to include (some of which were nightwing!steph & robin!steph) but i had to whittle it down so there’d be the same amount of characters as spider-verse. not because this is a spider-verse au, but because i figured that the gag was already there in the title/concept, and it seemed like a good amount of characters–not too many, or too little. speaking of that, every character ROUGHLY corresponds to a spider-verse one: rebirth steph = miles, preboot steph = peter b. parker, cluekid = peni, dart = spider-ham, canary = gwen, and batman steph = spider noir. 

“Yeah, nobody else has ever been Batgirl,” Spoiler said.

“That’s so fucking weird,” Batgirl said. “Babs hasn’t been Batgirl since before I started out, and that was like five years ago. You mean she didn’t get shot?”

“She did, but there was an implant,” Spoiler said. “So she’s better.”

“Wow. That’s great but–how do you survive without Oracle?” Batgirl asked. “I want my universe back.”

Spoiler agreed with her, and wondered how to put her back. Should she take her to Batman? Hm. For all the multiverse shenanigans she’d heard about, she really didn’t know how to deal with them, what the protocol was.

“Let’s go find Drake,” Spoiler said. “He just got back from a multiverse adventure.”

“Drake? Like the rapper?”

“No, like Tim. My boyfriend? It’s his new code name.”

physically painful to put steph & tim together, but it had to be done.

“Tim picked his own fucking last name? That’s so stupid,” Batgirl said, and although Spoiler agreed, she didn’t say that. Spoiler checked her trackers, and found that Drake was across the city. She got out her grapple, and Batgirl did the same.

“Wait,” Batgirl called a minute later, when they were already in the air. They landed on the roof of the next building and Spoiler turned to her expectantly. “Did you say that he’s your boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Spoiler said. “Is he not?”

“Not since like, middle school!” Batgirl cried, and Spoiler rolled her eyes.

“We don’t live in the same universe,” she reminded her. “Our Tims are probably totally different.”

“Yeah, right,” Batgirl said, and then there was a flash of purple light and Spoiler turned to face it. Two people appeared. One of them was in a purple bodysuit with a lightning bolt emblazoned on the chest, blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail. The other was wearing fishnet tights and a leather jacket, an armored purple unitard under the jacket and a skirt over that. Her blonde hair was long, nearly to her elbows, and free-flowing. The new pair blinked at Spoiler and Batgirl.

“Holyfuckthat’susbutBats,” the girl with the lightning bolts said, her words tipping over each other, and Spoiler said, “Before today, I’d never been involved in multiverse shenanigans, and now this!”

She gestured at the duo.

“I’m Dart,” the speedster-Steph said, holding out a hand. Spoiler shook it, dumbfounded.

i felt like dart would be accepted as the most outlandish to the other stephs. she’s a meta, she has nothing to do with batman at all, she barely remembers living in gotham, etc, which is why in my head she was equivalent to spider-ham. like i feel like rebirth steph looked around at these other versions of herself like “sure, that makes sense”, but with dart she was like “what the fuck am i looking at?”

“I’m Canary,” the other Steph said. “Violet Canary, but generally they just call me Canary.”

“Like Red and Gold Canaries,” Dart said gleefully.

“….No,” Canary said. “I don’t know who that is.”

“Black Canary’s partners,” Dart said, rolling her eyes. “Cass and Jason.”

“Cass and Jason are Bats,” Batgirl said. “Not Canaries.”

“Not in my world,” Dart said. “What, in your universe is everyone a Bat?”

however weird all the other stephs found dart, though, she found them all equally weird. all these people we’re used to seeing as bats she saw as totally different things and having them all lumped together would be surreal to her. she grew up with barry as her dad, so learning that in these other universes some stephs a) stayed with arthur as their dad, or b) had some random rich guy she kinda knows as their dad was pretty weird. 

“Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Damian, Babs, Duke,” Spoiler rattled off.

“Duke?” Batgirl asked.

“Yeah, none of those people are Bats in my world,” Dart said. “Dick’s a Super, Cass and Jason are Canaries, Damian’s a Lantern, Tim’s a Martian, Duke’s a Wonder, and Babs is Aquagirl. Or, well, she used to be, before the accident.”

“See?” Batgirl demanded, gesturing at Spoiler.

“I didn’t give her the implant!” Spoiler said. “It happened before I even started crime-fighting!”

“She’s not Oracle in your universe?” Canary asked, looking wildly startled. Spoiler threw her hands up.

“Sorry that you guys landed in a garbage universe, I guess,” she said, and Dart patted her shoulder.

other stephs pushing my rebirth-sucks agenda. i regret nothing. 

“So this is your place, huh? Kinda nice,” she said. “You know, I’ve never really been in Gotham before? Not since I moved away, anyway.”

“Yeah, how the fuck are you a speedster?” Canary asked. “I’m not even a meta, and my job depends on me having superpowers.”

“I was going to ask the same question,” Batgirl said.

“I mean, basically the same way everyone else did,” Dart said. “I made Wally tell me how he did it, who made Barry tell him how he did it, who made Jay tell him how he did it. And, uh, the rest is history.”

“But why were you with Wally–? Never mind,” Spoiler said. “We really need to find Drake.”

At Dart and Canary’s confused looks, Batgirl said in a loud whisper, “As in Tim. That’s his new codename. And yeah, we know it’s stupid.”

“Thank you, Batgirl,” Spoiler said loudly. “Let’s just go, yeah?”

“Won’t Batman snipe me?” Dart asked, and Canary asked Batgirl for a spare grapple.

dart in her head: what the fuckkkkkkk

other stephs: calm down lol it’s just batman

“He’s out of town,” Spoiler said. “Just follow us.”

“Sure thing,” Dart said. “Wait, what’s your codename?”

“Spoiler,” Spoiler said. “You mean you were never…?”

“I used to be Kid Flash, but never ‘Spoiler’, whoever that is,” Dart said. “Sorry.”

“Even I was Spoiler, and I’m not even a Bat,” Canary said, and Dart said, “Okay, we get it, I’m a weirdo among Stephanies. Let’s go.”

They went, and Spoiler wondered if the other Bats were also dealing with themselves. She was leading the way, which was weird, because she never led any ways. Maybe if it was just her and Tim, or something.

Below her, Spoiler caught sight of a swarm of Clayfaces, and she had to stop. She yelled to the others to help her, and they dropped into the alley below.

Fighting with only herself as backup was weird, Spoiler thought. Batgirl threw batarangs that had stuff inside them. Dart sped around confusing the Clayfaces and Spoiler brought her bo-staff down hard on one, but it just sloshed through his arm. Oops.

“Cover your ears!” Canary yelled, and she threw a little device at a Clayface. It screamed, a loud noise that was what Spoiler assumed the Canary Cry sounded like. The Clayfaces barely reacted.

From above, a dark shape descended. Spoiler could’ve cried in relief, even though she was sure it wasn’t her own Batman.

Batman threw a device at a Clayface, which sent out some sort of signal that froze all the Clayfaces that weren’t already frozen by Batgirl’s batarangs. Icearangs? Whatever.

Quick work was made of the Clayfaces, and then Batman led the Stephs back into the air.

“You saved us!” Dart said.

“Yes,” Batman said. Spoiler inspected their new friend. This Batman was shorter than Bruce, and the bat across her chest was purple. The eyes on the cowl glowed with purple light, but it was still unmistakably Batman. She had on purple lipstick, and Spoiler spotted a scar near her mouth. She knew who this was.

“Holy shit,” Spoiler breathed, and beside her, the others seemed to come to the same conclusion. “You’re me.”

this moment right here, where steph looks at batman and it’s herself…? that’s probably why i even bothered writing this fic. 

“I would argue that I’m me,” Batman said, her mouth twisting into a smirk. “But yes, I am another Stephanie Wayne.”

“Wayne?” Spoiler and Batgirl cried at the same time.

as much as i love ignoring canon, in this fic i sort of had to go along with it, and i think this moment was kind of a good one.

“Fuck,” Dart said. “If that isn’t a weird last name to think of me having.”

“It makes sense that circumstances would differ,” Canary said. “Although in my universe, I was never truly a Bat.”

“But Wayne?” Spoiler said, waving her hands.

“Bruce actually adopted you?” Batgirl asked.

“No,” Batman said. “He left a portion of the estate to me in his will, and after I took up the mantle I changed my last name.”

“What the fuck,” Spoiler said, and Batgirl seemed of the same mind.

“Why are you panicking? It’s not that weird,” Dart said. “And I mean, clearly you all aren’t Stephanie Allen.”

“Allen?” Batgirl repeated, her voice an octave higher.

“Sweet Jesus,” Batman said, and Spoiler pushed that image aside for examining at a later time. “The pair of you never shed ‘Brown’, didn’t you.”

“No!” Spoiler cried.

“I’ve never even thought that was an option!” Batgirl said, sounding distraught.  

“I’ve just been daydreaming about the day Tim proposes so I can be anything besides a Brown,” Spoiler admitted.

“That’s disgusting,” Batman said. “You and Tim, really?”

“Why not?” Spoiler demanded. “Everyone seems to be of the same mind–what’s wrong with him?”

“I mean, besides that he’s an asshole?” Batgirl asked. “Uh, two words: Super. Girl.”

“I’ve never even met Supergirl,” Spoiler said, struggling to imagine herself dating Supergirl.

“Tim’s dead,” Batman said flatly. “But I agree with Batgirl’s assessment.”

“I think Supergirl and Babs have a thing going on?” Dart said. “Maybe? But anyway I’m more of a Wonder Girl kinda gal myself.”

“Ditto,” Canary said.

“Okay, I get it, you guys are hetero-shaming me,” Spoiler said, lifting her hands up. “For the record, I am bisexual.”

the idea of every steph besides the “real” steph being gay & having a girlfriend is comedy. gold. 

“Good,” Batman said.

“Although, speaking of my lovely boyfriend, I should probably tell him about this….Stephplosion,” Spoiler said, waving her arms at them. She put her finger to her ear to comm Drake, but then the air folded in on itself on a roof within Spoiler’s line of sight and she saw a flash of a familiar color that made her blood boil.

“Shit,” she said.

“What?” Dart asked. Spoiler pointed.

“There was some….orange over there,” she said significantly.

headcanon that steph hates all orange, but the specific shade of cluemaster orange especially. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” Batgirl said. “If I have to deal with alternate Cluemasters I’m going to slaughter someone.”

“We need to check it out,” Batman said.

“I’m only agreeing since there’s five of us,” Canary said.

“I haven’t seen Arthur since I was eleven and I’m not about to start now,” Dart said, and Spoiler pushed down a surge of jealousy. Batman led the way, grabbing Dart to carry her across the gap.

They stopped at the edge of the roof and looked down at the kid–the kid!–who was sitting on the rooftop below them.

She had on an orange skirt and shirt with blue suspenders. Her tights–also orange–were ripped and she had on orange combat boots. Her bandana was pulled down from her face to rest around her neck, and her blonde hair was in tangles.

Spoiler stared her thirteen year old self in the face and thought about fainting.

“What the fuck,” Batgirl said flatly.

i feel like this moment sort of parallels/reflects the moment when spoiler first sees batman & recognizes it as herself. batman!steph is like a dream come true, and cluekid!spoiler her worst nightmare. both are the kind of dreams you didn’t know you even had until you encounter them, but yeah. holy shit that’s batman and that’s ME vs holy shit that’s cluekid and that’s ME

“Don’t hit me!” the kid cried, scrambling to her feet. She had braces, Spoiler noted dimly. “Who are you? What happened?”

“We’re in an alternate universe,” Batman said. “Something’s wrong with the multiverse.”

“Lex Luthor,” Spoiler provided, dazed. “Mining for Kryptonite. Batman–my Batman–is taking care of it.”

“Oh,” tiny, orange Steph said. “So…who are you, then?”

Batman pulled off her cowl. Her blonde hair was short and messy and her face was–old. Spoiler pegged her to be late twenties, probably. Huh. The other Stephs were all teenagers like Spoiler.

idk if you’ve read “touch the sky” but when steph first becomes batman and is a teenager she’s pretty fucked up, and i needed this batman steph to be cool & confident. she’s been batgirl for a while. again on batman & cluekid reflecting each other, the other stephs are all 17/18, and cluekid is younger while batman is older. 

“Stephanie,” Batman said, her real voice jarring after the modulated one was gone. “I’m you, okay?”

“In an alternate universe, I’m Batman?” the younger Steph whispered.

“Yes,” Batman said, her voice soft and kind of tender. Spoiler wondered what experience she had with kids. She realized that she could have a Robin. “And that’s Batgirl, and Dart, and Canary, and Spoiler. We’re all you.”

“Spoiler?” the younger Steph said, her eyes wide. “Holy fuck.”

“Language,” Batman said.

“I’m thirteen, not a child.” The younger Steph turned and pulled off her backpack. “Look!” She opened it and pulled out a homemade black bodysuit and hooded cape. “Here’s my Spoiler outfit.”

“I’m going to cry,” Batgirl said. Spoiler’s heart was doing something weird, looking at this tiny version of herself wearing Cluemaster orange.

“Oh, yeah, well. Being Spoiler is my biggest secret,” younger Steph said, putting her costume back away.

“Why are you dressed like that, then?” Dart asked.

“Well,” Steph said, drawing out the word. “I thought Dad might, like, kill me if I didn’t say yes when he asked, so I’m Cluekid by day and Spoiler at night. But, uh, I’m working on bringing down the empire from the inside.”

“Empire?” Spoiler repeated.

“Yeah, Dad’s criminal empire,” Cluekid said. “I’m taking it down.”

“Criminal empire?” Batgirl said, sounding shocked.

if all the stephs got transported to cluekid’s world instead, they’d be looking around like “THIS IS THE BAD PLACE!!!!!”

“By yourself?” Batman asked, putting her cowl back on. Cluekid pulled up her bandana.

“Yeah, it’s like…someone’s gotta do it, right?”

“Was anyone else’s Cluemaster, like, vaguely incompentent at best?” Batgirl asked, and Spoiler and Canary rose their hands. “Criminal empire, really?”

“It’s super fun that you guys weren’t Cluekid, but leave me alone about it,” Cluekid said. “My dad’s the real deal.”

“Then what’s your plan for when he finds out you betrayed him?” Batman asked. Cluekid blinked slowly.

“Well,” she said, then she stopped.

“You don’t have a plan,” Dart said knowingly. “I can relate.”

“No, she does,” Batman said, horrified.

“You’re just gonna let yourself die?” Spoiler asked. Cluekid shrugged, her arms going up past her head.

“If I have to!” she cried. “Someone’s gotta take him down and I’m the only one who can!”

cluekid is actually planning on faking her own death at this time, but she doesn’t have all the details worked out yet. 

“Dying’s no big D,” Batgirl said. “I do it all the time.”

Everyone turned to face her.

“I mean, once, but that’s like, more than most people do it,” she amended, and Spoiler shook her head.

i think batman!steph comes from a mix of preboot/rebirth, so she’s probably died as well

“Jesus christ,” she said. “I have to get you guys out of here. I’m going to call Drake, and we’re going to find out how to return you guys. Except maybe Cluekid, cause your universe sucks.”

spoiler just wants a chance to call another universe garbage, for a change.

“Yeah, well, your universe has people leaking into it, so it can’t be all that great,” Cluekid shot back, and Spoiler had to admit she had a point.

zing, now everyone’s made fun of rebirth.

While they grappled towards the other end of town, Batman carrying Cluekid and Dart running below them, Spoiler put in a call.

“Batman,” she said. “I have five alternate versions of myself with me.”

“Five Spoilers?” her own Batman asked, his voice gruff.

bruce instantly: [internal screaming]

“Five Stephanies,” she corrected. “A Batgirl, a speedster, a Canary, a kid, and, well. A Batman.”

“Interesting,” Batman said. “Luthor has been apprehended and once I turn off the machine, everyone should return to normal.”

“Okay,” Spoiler said, and Batman disconnected. Spoiler stopped grappling and the group gathered around her. “According to my Batman, you guys should just…go back soon.”

this fic was about conversations between stephanies, not action, which is why i feel like the end is sort of anti-climactic, but whatever. it needed to end, and it did

“It’s been nice getting to know you,” Canary said. “Although really weird.”

“Agreed,” Dart said. “I can’t imagine being a Bat.”

“I wish that would happen to me,” Cluekid said. “But…”

“It’ll be okay, kiddo,” Batman said.

“Hey,” Spoiler said. “Batman, do you have a Robin? You’re pretty good with kids.”

“Yeah,” Batman said, smiling. “Her name is Carrie.”

writing this fic made me think of a “touch the sky” sequel where steph works through the deaths of her siblings and takes in a new robin. we’ll see.

“Hell yeah,” Batgirl said, raising her hand for a fistbump. Batman obliged, and from the corner of her eye Spoiler saw the universe begin folding in on itself.

“Damn, this is me,” Dart said, looking at the wrinkle in the air. It was tied to her leg, so not a difficult conclusion to make. “Well, it’s been nice knowing you ladies. I wish all of you every success–especially you, Lil Steph.”

“Thanks,” Cluekid said, and Spoiler nodded at Dart before she vanished in a puff of purple lightning.

“I’m going to turn on my earplugs,” Canary said. “Who knows what’ll happen when I get back–but anyway, I’m going to be in the dark, hearing-wise.”

“Okay,” Spoiler said, a little confused, and Canary gave everyone a smile.

“It’s been real,” she said, and then she turned on her earplugs. She signed something at them–Spoiler knew only a few signs and couldn’t keep up. Batgirl nodded thoughtfully.

“What’d she say?” Spoiler asked.

“Oh, I have no clue,” Batgirl said. “Come to think of it, the signs me and Cass use aren’t strictly ‘real’ sign language.”

“She said that she turns off her hearing so it’s not damaged by the canary cry,” Batman said. Everyone looked at her. “What? My brother was mute and he had to talk somehow.”

tossed up on the “was” vs “is”, but i wanted damian to get better and i hoped that if any diehard “touch the sky” fans were reading this, they’d see that yeah, he does get better & talk again.

“Brother?” Spoiler repeated, and Batman said, “Damian.”

Damian, mute?

Damian, Steph’s brother?

“I’m leaving,” Canary said loudly, and they turned to face her. She was vanishing just like Dart, and she gave a little wave, then pointed at Batman, who was also disappearing.

“Goodbye,” Batman said, and then she and Canary were gone, leaving Spoiler with Batgirl and Cluekid.

“I’m gonna be real with you guys,” Cluekid said. “I know it’s only been like two minutes but seeing myself, older and with a place in the world….it’s pretty inspiring to think that in another universe I grow up to be Batman.”

“Maybe you still can,” Spoiler suggested, thinking that she didn’t like the idea of this tiny version of herself planning her own death.

“I don’t think so,” Cluekid said, smiling sadly.

“I’ve been through a lot of shit,” Batgirl said. “I’ve even died before. You can’t let any of that stop you, okay? You just gotta push through it.”

“Keep on coming back,” Spoiler said.

“However long it takes,” Batgirl said. Cluekid blinked, tears welling in her eyes, and then she reached for Spoiler and Batgirl, tugging them both into a hug.

i feel like “never give up” is kind of steph’s motto, and that’s universal among stephs. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Spoiler said, ruffling her hair, and then Cluekid was gone.

“Damn,” Batgirl said. “She says she’s inspired by us, but I’m inspired by her. She’s so brave.”

“Yeah, I know,” Spoiler said, her throat sort of rough. “Geez.”

“Well, it’s my turn next,” Batgirl said. “So, uh. Bye? I guess.”

“Have fun in your universe,” Spoiler said. “With Oracle and Supergirl.”

“Oh, I absolutely will,” Batgirl said. “Have fun with….Drake. Seriously, we give you shit, but if he’s good for you–”

“He is,” Spoiler said, trying not to think of their breakups.

“Then that’s all there is to it, isn’t it,” Batgirl said. She grinned, and the air behind her began to fold. “Oh, what timing!”

“Goodbye, Batgirl,” Spoiler said.

“Bye, Spoiler,” Batgirl said. “You know, it’s nice to see that somewhere out there, we’re still in the mantle we created.”

“And it’s nice to see that we’re in a mantle given to us,” Spoiler said, and Batgirl grinned.

“Hell yeah it is,” she said, and then she was gone, and Spoiler was left alone.

She sighed, and kept moving.

spoiler & batgirl are so similar that of course they kinda got along the best….i think canary was supposed to be kind of distant like “oh that’s kinda weird” and then dart was “oh that’s SUPER weird” and then cluekid was “oh my god is she okay” and then batman more like “wow! #afraid to ask how the mantle got passed down to YOU!”

[neon-draws-sometimes]

(wip) It was too bright and your eyes hurt. A sickly sweet smell, like medicine, stung your nose. You don’t know where you are. You barely remember who you are.

You remember a name though. Fresh. He’s important to you, but you don’t know why. Their name alone comforts you somewhat. If you’re seriously hurt or lost (kidnapped?) they’ll find you, right?

As you trudge on, you start to feel an odd sensation, but the only way you can think to describe it is becoming less and less real. It’s like the brightly colored walls are taking you in.

You sit down for just a second, that turns into a minute. You can’t get back up. Eventually it all fades to the black of unconsciousness.

You awake to find you have no idea where you are. As you look at the snow covered ground, a couple of things come back to you.

Your name is Error, previously Geno, even more previously Sans. You are in Snowdin, where you used to live. You used to destroy AUS of the multiverse. 

You have a very bad memory, and you had forgotten your time being Sans and Geno for a long time. 

Your friend Fresh visited you in your antivoid when you wouldn’t even get up in the morning (metaphorically, as in reality there is no time in the antivoid). They are your closest friend. They’re a parasite that feeds on souls and can feel no emotion but fear. And that’s okay. You don’t really blame him for it or anything. He didn’t ask to be a parasite or feed on souls. And he really helped you when you were down. Still does, honestly. 

Oh yeah, and your eyesight is garbage. Fresh always tells you to wear your glasses, but they kinda embarrass you. The glasses, not Fresh. You feel like you should be able to do it yourself. You only let Fresh help because there’s no keeping him out. And it probably gives them something to do, anyways. You doubt he has any hobbies besides scaring random people and collecting old junk. 

You don’t remember how you got to Snowdin though. Or why you were in that strange bright room earlier. You’re definitely still missing some pieces, but hopefully those will come back to you.

Also, you notice Snowdin somehow feels…perfect? Usually when you visit an AU’s Snowdin, it always feel slightly off in a way that drives you insane (and makes you miss what you’ve lost) but this one just feels right to you. Everything is exactly the way you remember it last.

While sneaking along the path to your house, the peaceful sound of silence fills your ears. Despite no one at all being out on the way to your home, you aren’t feeling creeped out, despite what this is usually a sign of. You don’t smell any dust in the air though, only the sharp smell of pine.

You make it to your house, which looks lovely lit up by the colorful lights hung on it, and try the door knob. The door slides open and you walk in, using all your strength not to run.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Ghost-Spider #5 Thoughts

That was awful.

You know how I said last issue was padded out? Well this issue felt really rushed. Half the plot should’ve been shunted to last issue and the remaining half expanded upon here.

The art dips in quality again (specially when it comes to depicting the Jackal himself)  but that is to nothing to the plotting and characterization. Jesus Christ where to start. Fuck it, I’m going to go from page 1 and just move forward.

There is a random civilian being mugged at the very start of the issue. She threatens the muggers that if they don’t leave her alone she will tell Spider-Gwen about them. This makes no sense not only because Spider-Gwen can’t track 3 random muggers but more importantly because they could just kill her and then take her property.

The Jackal is a dipshit in this story and looks like such a fucking loser. Even in the Clone Saga, as unearned as it was, he at least came across as threatening to some degree. Here he is literally surrendering to 3 goons with guns.

The tone of this issue doesn’t know what it wants to be. Initially it seems to be a crime story with a dash of comedy, but then it becomes just outright surreal when a Jackal monster in a suit is riding in the back of a truck making vaguely threatening small talk, then he just jumps immediately into being physically threatening

Earth 65 Miles Warren says he’s theorized about multidimensional travel but unless I am mistaken wasn’t Spider-Ham a key witness in the fallout of Gwen’s identity going public.

Earth 65 Warren claims that Gwen’s not been seen much in the day and that she’s been interfering in crimes less recently. Not only does this reaffirm what I’ve been saying this whole time about how irresponsible it is for Gwen to go to school in another universe, but it also makes the man-Wolf’s gang dumb as shit because why don’t they just commit crimes during the day!

Earth-65 Warren trusts his 616 counterpart waaaaaaaaay too easily given that he’s a stranger and you know…a jackal monster….he just jumps immediately to showing him the secret anti-Ghost-Spider weapon he’s whipped up.

65-Warren critiques Jackal for wanting a woman half his age. First of all how does he know the Jackal’s age when he’s transformed? I guess you could argue he’s presuming that they are the same age. But then Jackal responds that thanks to cloning his body is half as young as their real age. This is just baffling. Does this mean the 616 Jackal we’ve been following is a left over clone? And if he is really half his real age why does he still look like an old man?

The issue references harry but once again, it doesn’t clue new readers into who the Hell Harry is or what the deal is with him and Gwen.

The issue has a call back to a joke from last issue that if this was your first issue would leave you lost

65-Warren has arranged a trap for Gwen based upon the route she takes swinging home, although he qualifies she isn’t normally as early as she is in this issue. If she isn’t normally this early how do they know to arrange the trap for now?

Where was Gwen’s spider sense when the sedative grenade was thrown. And even if it is designed to affect her symbiote suit, why is she herself knocked out? The costume I understand, but why does she faint, especially considering no one else does?

The goons dialogue to their hostages makes no sense. They tell the hostages they’re saved but then they kill them. “It worked you are saved.” But…they aren’t Spider-Gwen is knocked out so even if this was a charade they weren’t saved.

One of the goons asks if Gwen was hurt by the sedative but like…why would he give a shit? He just murdered a woman and 2 children.

Jackal knows about the pendant AND how it works, the whole pricking your finger thing. A reminder, last issue he couldn’t possibly have seen how Gwen travelled between dimensions.

“…the multiverse is ours!”-says the Jackal. Call me nuts but at what point in this, or any story, did the Jackal’s ambitions expand to encompass the entire multiverse? When was that ever his goal? Why would he even want to dabble in that? Not to mention it undermines the character’s strength (when written well) of being much more grounded.

The Jackal says the universe keeps returning Gwen Stacy to him but it doesn’t. This ONE time maybe he could view it that way but on every other occasion he cloned her. He returned her to himself.

So a huge part of the resolution to this story involves, and I’m not making this up, Gwen’s 3 band mates (who I remind you are teenage girls) tracking her down to a secret secure laboratory because Em Jay is mad she is missing band practice. That is contrived and fucking ridiculous, how could anyone ever take this seriously? Em jay doesn’t even react believably to the human jackal monster in a suit running towards her!

Except for Gwen no one in the room is reacting realistically to a freshly killed body with blood spewing from it’s goddam throat. Em jay continues to moan about band practice for God’s sake.

Let me get this straight. The Jackal as a non-powered middle aged man could get the better of a super human like Spider-Man in the 1970s and in the 1990s when he had made himself a fellow super human. But in the 2010s when he is super human a teenaged girl can stun him by elbowing him in the stomach….yes….okay….

To my joy this extended Jackal story hasn’t been wrapped up and he’s stuck on Earth-65. God forbid one of Spider-Man’s notable villains be around for him to fight instead of farming her out to a different hero altogether.

Over all, this issue was garbage, this arc was garbage, this character and series continues to be garbage as it was in 2016 and whilst I might skim issues from now on to see what happens to the Jackal I am unlikely to read issues cover to cover anymore or do posts like this one them.

Don’t read this crap.