#random guy “I have a helmet collection. would you like to go out to dinner sometime?”

[silverspleen]

Unsure if coworker/friendquaintance is mad at me for going on a date with a boy because she has a crush on me or if she's simply just stressed out from the crushing weight of work rn.

Either way it's not my problem unless she says something. I'm mature enough to be like "hm I'm probably reading too much into it" and leave it at that. I have fanfiction to write and my own self sabotaging, obtuse brain to wrangle as I go on a date (probably? felt like a chill date) with a guy who has strong opinions about Call of Duty zombies (!!!), likes Warhammer 40k in a normal way (!!!), and collects Star Wars clone related things (!!!).

I am being really normal about it so far, which is nice. I think I'm going to simply fake it til you make it with my brain re: it's ability to feel romantic feelings like normal people do.

This year has been all about me having some really Not Normal reactions to people romantically liking me re: my brain's ability to feel romantic feelings like normal people do (a thing I am pretty sure I can do but at a loss to describe exactly when and how outside of one (1) failed relationship six years ago) and the complete and utter lack of pressing emotional stakes with a random nice, attractive person I just met at a con is very freeing, actually. I'm legitimately enjoying myself in this guy's company and that's enough.

[sugar-petals]

SuperM Fluff & NSFW Notes

↳ 🌹aka some of their romantic antics plus random 18+ imagines 👋

warnings ⚠️ rated (super) m, boyfriends hc, porn mentions, partial fem!reader, sex toys

FLUFF

since baekhyun knows how to make scented candles, he creates one for you as a birthday present with your favorite fragrances.

every entry in mark’s diary involves fond thoughts about you.

taemin kisses you more than his cat kkoongie on a daily basis so let that sink in. his smooch obsession is getting out of hand.

lucas, having giant fingers after all, learns how to knit in order to make you a warm scarf. he’s still a bit clumsy with it and had to call kun for advice, but the result is surprisingly proper and quickly becomes your favorite item. it’s a little huge but well, he thinks in his dimensions. lucas’ next project is a beanie.

ten overwhelms you with pet names. in fact, he seemingly seems to come up with a new one each day.

kai is a candlelight dinner, rose petals and music kinda guy. he does every old-school thing in the book.

taeyong can cuddle endlessly in bed. he just doesn’t wanna leave.

lucas gladly shares his sweaters. they’re ginormous so, perfect cuddle material.

baekhyun is already a fool. so — when he falls in love, he becomes an even bigger fool. or, the contrary happens: he becomes dead silent around his partner because he’s so enthralled. he can take this more seriously than you think.

mark likes to write little cards and many many texts to express his love.

lucas is the type who can help you put on your jeans when they were shrinking a bit too much in the dryer. he’s pretty sexy like that and things can get really touchy.

cheesy fucking kai, and there’s only one guy who would do this, has actually lowered himself over a puddle once so you would have a bridge. brushed it off like a daily workout rep.

not one shower missed without baekhyun joining you. yes, it’s not always sexy time, he likes it when you shampoo his hair and whisper sweet nothings. and obviously: it’ll all devolve to a laughing fit.

taeyong is the type who wants to be proposed to.

taemin will get a motorcycle license and take you for a frequent ride. he loves getting those kind of back hugs.

both ten and lucas are great at making bracelets. wayv’s dorm is fully equipped with charms, strings, and pearls, so expect matching ones for you.

we’ve seen it, that one’s his favorite move. kai wraps his hand around your shoulder when you walk together.

mark will ALWAYS share his melon.

making you swoon on a DVD evening is lucas’ favorite hobby. he will buy you the most sugary-sweet romance movies. he will often browse streaming sites to select the latest sentimental plots. all these dramas seem to have a male lead who is suspiciously tall and lanky.

if you allow him, taeyong customizes your white tees with his cute drawings.

since taemin swims in money thanks to his profession as the god of kpop (yes, this is a registered job name because i say so), he can fulfill you any wish. he’s stingy and pouty when the shinee hyungs can pay, and the motherfucker baekhyun is even richer since his albums have been taking off so he opens his mochi wallet when superm is gathered, but you... are a different case. taemin will humbly empty his entire pockets when he overhears you gushing over something. there’s a voice in his mind going: must splurge!!

mark loves christmas, you establish an annual tradition to stage a whole couple evening.

baekhyun likes to play charades and especially do karaoke with you. he’s always cutely wiggling his butt and dances like a drunk uncle. he hits the high notes anyway and makes sure you score 100 points.

taeyong can make out with you while at the same time making sure that the milk doesn’t get burned on the stove. kiss’n’stirr multitask tyong alert. gotta make sure the cocoa is served in time, you know.

all the members enjoy playing board games. yep, imagine the fun and sheer chaos.

lucas has the funniest laugh ever indeed. he’ll react to all your jokes, no matter how lame they might be. intensely reassuring.

taemin’s hand is basically glued to yours.

taeyong and mark are the kinds of boyfriends that spoil their partner with skincare. fancy a nice face massage with a nice fragrant oil?

baekhyun has been baking heart-shaped pizzas ever since you started dating. he just can’t make them round anymore.

mark will join you on anything you’re currently bingewatching. 

kai sometimes — only half-jokingly — goes down on both knees bowing forward with his hands on the ground just to show how much he wants to thank you. in case you didn’t notice: this guy treats you like a deity.

ten usually gets confused glances from the other members whenever he gets the current date wrong: he simply loses track of time with you.

lucas makes a habit of buying you flowers every other week. but on unpredictable occasions, and he arranges them in places you’d never expect.

taemin will build you a weird-looking snowman to make you laugh, and give it an even stranger name. ten will build one that looks like you. kai doesn’t build snowmen, he just stands there challenging you to throw snow balls at him.

mark will hang out with you at the beach constantly bringing his guitar. he’ll serenade you all the time.

returning from three months of touring, baekhyun has once climbed your balcony when your parents were in the other room. yep, he was that desperate to see you. somebody give this man a rope and helmet.

taeyong writes down heartfelt confessions on 365 folded slips of paper so you can open one every day. your reactions will range from ‘awwh!’ to straight-up tears.

ten does regular couple yoga with you. a mildly challenging form, not the circus acrobat version. he’ll do the difficult parts anyway. you can pretzel this guy up, he’ll do anything to make you laugh.

when it rains you hook your arm around his, and lucas always holds the umbrella. even the wildest gush of wind can’t make it turn inside out. you arrive home entirely dry. xuxi is so cute, he’s also a great source of cooling shadow in the summer without even trying.

taemin’s skinship overdrive doesn’t stop with endless hand-holding, back hugs and kisses. he wants to lay down in your lap whenever he can. he looks damn pretty with his hair splaying there. if you work on your laptop, you can pretty much count to ten and he’s already nestled there.

kai does pushups with you on his back. it’s a staple. each time he does one, he says ‘i love you’. he increases his count every day.

NSFW

it’s no secret that taeyong is great at acting or pulling off any outfit and costume. expect roleplay of the finest kind — literally. he looks good in a firefighter uniform. you’ll be burning up pretty much automatically.

taemin can’t keep his tongue in. it’s terrible. he’s always in the mood for head. his sloppy noises are the absolute worst, it turns you on way too fast.

lucas had some major problems finding condoms that fit him.

ten and taemin are so switchy, they have an unresolved power struggle going on. begs for a dominant third party to help them out.

kai owns expensive latex gear.

baekhyun may be the king of vocals and breath technique, but if you push him far enough he does get hoarse.

taemin often jokes how kai will one day break his dick from fucking too hard.

meanwhile, mark’s dick is already falling off – from fucking too often. this guy has some major hormones going for him. no surprise, a guy who can promote in four kpop groups at the same time is a stamina king.

taeyong likes eating pussy with another party involved. three’s a crowd my friend. sometimes it’s taemin who unleashes his spit waterfall power, sometimes it’s baekhyun who preoccupies himself with nibbling at the inner thigh while taeyong digs in.

taemin owns the most underwear.

mark takes valerian drops because he is so nervous in bed. it never really goes away, it’s his nature.

taeyong keeps a lube collection. a different flavor for all occasions. he likes associating certain scents with specific body parts.

kai has a heels kink. he literally goes wild over it.

taemin likes to have sex with favorite glasses on.

taeyong and kai are the most likely to cry during sex. baekhyun as well if you rough him up enough. 

mark gets rock hard the fastest, followed by kai. he’s a grower.

taeyong gets the best inspiration for a song when he gets a casual dick riding.

taemin watches extremely x-rated erotic thrillers and bdsm flicks that are heavy on the plot. he gets more invested in the characters and actors than you think. since his japanese is amazing? of course he also owns a giant 90s hentai collection. 

when he’s jerking off, baekhyun chokes himself. a) because he’d make too much noise otherwise and b) because asphyxiation is his favorite thing.

kai feels pleasure in his every cell. he cums the hardest. and, as you can expect, his body expresses it the most extremely, accurately, passionately. if you’ve seen it even once, you’ll never look at him the same again.

taemin has less experience than his discography claims, but more than you’d think. he researches sexual techniques as well. you can brace yourself.

mark has not just a tiger inside, but a freak inside, waiting to be unleashed.

sex while gaming is a go-to activity for baekhyun.

lucas has the best stamina when it comes to getting head.

taemin throws his head back during sex. and no, he doesn’t T-pose. i’m kidding — of course he does. but only when he’s on his back.

taeyong tends to grip a pillow when he cums.

or he humps one when he’s by himself.

ten has the best taste in sexy time playlists.

baekhyun has the best taste in singing his own playlist along.

oh, the things kai has bought at a gas station at 3AM.

baekhyun sucks strap the best. he can open his mouth the widest, drools a lot, and makes the best noises unsurprisingly.

how to turn on lee taemin? he likes getting slapped.

since he’s the most avid and most diverse eater, lucas’ sperm tastes the best. he’s shove 50 fruits into his system just to give you a sweet experience.

mark is absolutely a starfish. 

kai wears fishnet tops if you fancy it.

curiously, baekhyun out of all people doesn’t announce when he’s cumming. you’ll hear it, though.

taeyong’s dildo collection is one for the books.

taemin has visited a pro dominatrix a couple times. needless to say, he was the #1 favorite client at the dungeon. having fully submerged into a fantasy world, taemin was one whip crack away from falling in love with the mistress. but then covid happened and the venue closed.

mark’s dick looks really pretty.

taemin can grind on the strap at every humanly possible angle. he’s almost always ready to take it. he carries a prep kit.

kai — that fucker — knows how to make you wet the most with his bare hands. prepare for the thigh ride of your life, too.

taeyong, baekhyun, and taemin have the best arches. kai is coming for the top three as well. ten’s arch is so good, it can’t be considered one anymore.

baekhyun knows every adult movie out there. theoretically, nothing can shock him. in reality, he melts in your hands.

taeyong is so sexually active with you, he has quit eating garlic.

kai will exploit your muscle kink in any way he can.

taemin, being a devil, has that one button on his phone that he can press when you go out for dinner. he’s OBSESSED with getting you off. once you head home, it’s basically running down your thighs.

ten has once opened a condom with scissors to scare away a date that grew weird on him by the time it got to the do.

lucas is too tall for doing missionary normally.

this will surprise nobody: mark is great at constantly keeping up the dirty talk.

baekhyun’s car is sort of like a brothel on wheels. he can’t count how many times he got down and dirty in there. he cleans it all up by himself.

kai can technically grip you the hardest but he’s the gentlest and great at caressing the whole body.

taemin has the easiest time saying what precisely he wants. he is also the best people reader — most your wishes he can pretty intuit. taemin observes your interests well.

ten likes his hair pulled and makes angelic noises when you do so.

baekhyun likes camgirls and erotic chats with strangers online. he spends a lot of money for nsfw internet encounters.

[phantom-curve]

For your prompts: 5. trepverter for Willex, please?

this one kind of got away from me, but hopefully it still mostly captures the essence of the prompt! and if not, it's at least a cute little fluffy Willex moment that I thoroughly enjoyed writing. set in an AU where the boys are alive, here is some flustered Alex ft. supportive Reggie and Luke.

trepverter - a witty response or comeback you think of only after it's too late to use (Rated T for swearing with a Trigger Warning for mentions of homophobic parents)

They say hindsight is 20/20 but Alex never really paid much attention to that until the day he found himself knocked flat on his back, elbows scratched and head pounding as if he had been hit by a freight train instead of an irresponsible skateboarder. It probably didn’t help that he had been in the middle of trying to calm himself down, all the signs of an impending anxiety attack mounting within his system until he had finally just put his feet to the pavement and started walking to get some of the overwhelming energy worked out of his system. He probably could have been more attentive, more aware of exactly where he was going and who was headed his direction, but he figured it would be fine on a random Wednesday morning in October when the tourists weren’t really around and most kids his age were in school.

Alex wasn’t in school because his parents had withdrawn tuition payments after he had finally worked up the courage to tell them he wouldn’t be bringing a nice girl home because he didn’t want to date any girls, in fact he would much prefer to date some boys, but the pressure of keeping his identity a secret hadn’t made that possible either so he was done hiding and he hoped they could accept that. Turns out they couldn’t accept that, or him, once he made it obvious he wasn’t going to go back in the closet or give any girl the chance to “change his mind”. As if that was even possible.

It hadn’t been a big blowout, more of a silent retreat, his parents completely withdrawing any and all support from his life over the course of the last few months. And apparently that included tuition, as Alex had discovered that morning when the school called to inform him they had finished completing his withdrawal forms, and they would be sad to see him go. Which had led him to the boardwalk, and then directly into the path of whatever hooligan that had crashed into him. Maybe if he had just been able to keep his mouth shut for 3 more years he wouldn’t be lying here, breathless and bruised, and still on the cusp of absolutely losing it.

Hindsight, Alex thought to himself as he stared up at the clear blue LA sky, can absolutely kiss my ass.

“Awh, man!” A voice above him whined. “You dinged my board!”

Alex toppled off of the anxiety ledge and straight into an ocean of lost control.

“Dinged your board? Dinged your board!? Dude, you ran me over!”

He punctuated his statement by leaping to his feet, which would have probably been a lot more threatening if he didn’t immediately stagger, hand held to his head as the world spun and his stomach rolled.

“Oh shit.”

The voice cursed quietly, and then Alex felt warm hands against his biceps, steadying him until everything slowly came back into focus. There was a boy standing in front of him, black cracked helmet perched on his head, soft brown eyes staring at him with a tinge of concern and remorse. When it was clear Alex was steady once more, he released his grip and offered an easy-going smile.

“You’re right, man, I totally pancaked you. My bad, are you okay?”

There was a weird feeling in Alex’s gut. Not the kind of sickening wave of nausea he had experienced when he first stood, but more of a fluttery feeling. His brain had quieted somewhat, and he forced himself to take a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just look where you’re going next time.”

His voice came out soft and almost breathy, not at all the warning tone he had meant to use, and Alex could feel his cheeks warming slightly in embarrassment. The other boy’s smile grew. He reached up and unclipped his helmet, lifting it off and then tossing his head back as a cascade of long brown hair tumbled out. A few stray pieces fell to rest alongside his face and Alex felt his mouth fall open slightly. His stomach swooped and then dropped completely, like he had just plummeted from a rollercoaster and his mind went blissfully blank. Everything narrowed down to the absolutely beautiful boy standing in front of him, face awash in golden morning light, cheeks flushed from his exertions, dimples and white teeth on full display as he grinned yet again. Alex wasn’t sure he had ever met someone so blindingly attractive in his entire life, and then the boy winked, winked!, and lifted a hand out towards him.

“I’m Willie.”

It was the best name Alex had ever heard of. When their palms met, a spark shot up his arm and straight to his heart.

“Alex.”

Thank God he remembered how to talk, because he truly hadn’t known what to expect when he opened his mouth. Willie released his grip and Alex left his hand suspended for just a second before he pulled it back and shoved it into the pocket of his jean jacket.

“Nice to meet you, Alex. Listen, I really am sorry about knocking you over. Any chance I can make it up to you?”

It took Alex an uncomfortably long amount of time to process what Willie was asking. Long enough for him to panic and wonder if it was like a date or if it was like a pity thing or oh God what if Willie wasn’t even into guys and Alex was about to make this whole thing super weird and –

A chirping sound came from Willie’s pocket. His eyes flitted away from Alex’s to pull a phone out and check the screen. Alex felt a strange twist in his heart as he watched Willie’s easy smile fall only to be replaced by an annoyed grimace and eyeroll as he silenced the phone. Without skipping a beat, he thrust it back into his pocket and pulled out a sharpie instead. Alex barely had time to register how much he liked the way Willie’s hand felt on his forearm before the other boy was suddenly bent over it and there was a cool sensation sending goosebumps up his arm as the tip of the marker scratched across his skin. When Willie pulled back, that brilliant smile was back in place and his eyebrows were dancing so merrily Alex wanted nothing more than to watch them forever.

“I gotta go, but that’s my number. Text me sometime.”

And then, before Alex could work up the nerve to say anything, Willie was tossing his skateboard to the ground only to chase after it with a few bouncy steps before jumping onto the deck and quickly making his way down the boardwalk, away from Alex. He watched for longer than it was probably acceptable until Willie was nothing more than a speck in the distance. Only then did he look down to see the numbers sketched onto his forearm in orange ink.

(213) 555-3276 Willie<3

It was the heart that did him in. That heart had to mean something, right? It was intentional. Willie had written his name with a heart. Alex wasn’t making that up, it was inked onto his own arm! He studied it as he sat on the beach, mind silently replaying every single second of his short interaction with Willie over and over again while different groups of people came and went around him. There had to be a reason for the heart. Alex fiddled with the braided rainbow bracelet on his wrist, the motion familiar and soothing. Had Willie noticed it when he grabbed Alex’s arm to write his number on? Was the heart some kind of sign?

Alex let out a groan and fell back against the sand, the texture scratchy against the back of his head where a slight throbbing still persisted. Another silent reminder of his morning encounter. He wished he had thought to say something when Willie had asked him about making it up to him. Wished he hadn’t panicked or let his stupid brain go into overdrive worrying about what might happen for so long that nothing ended up happening. If he could go back, he would have told Willie, yeah, he could make it up to him. Maybe take him out to coffee or dinner and a movie or ya know, just any kind of date in general? But Alex wasn’t that smooth, and he wasn’t quite that confident yet. And now all he had was a number in orange ink and a name with a heart and absolutely no answers to the millions of questions crowding his brain.

He let out a deep sigh and sat up again, before finally climbing to his feet. It wouldn’t do to sit and worry, even if that was kind of his specialty. Luke had a girlfriend now. And Julie was incredible, and Luke was a disaster, so obviously the guy had to have some kind of game. Alex couldn’t quite believe it, but maybe he could give him an idea of what to do in this situation. Alex turned his feet towards the apartment the boys had been sharing since Luke turned 18 and left his parents’ house for good and started the long walk back to their shared home.

Luckily, both Luke and Reggie were home, which meant Alex had two sounding boards for his word vomit as he paced in front of where they were sat on the couch. Reggie was kind of like a puppy in the sense that all he had to do was exist and people flocked to him, so he also had more experience than Alex did when it came to figuring out someone’s true intentions after a first meeting. By the time he had finished giving the boys the run down, he was feeling like they might be able to put their collective braincell to use and figure out exactly what the best course of action would be here.

“Yeah, man, I got nothing.”

Alex groaned and Luke held up his hands defensively.

“Look, dude, just cause I’m dating Julie doesn’t mean I know how I pulled it off! I’m just hoping my luck holds out until I can convince her to marry me, okay?”

Reggie was nodding thoughtfully, so Alex held out hope that maybe he would have some words of wisdom.

“I mean, he sounds like he wanted to at least like...talk to you some more, right? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have given you his number. And the heart is promising!”

Alex let it soak in for a second. An idea struck him out of nowhere.

“What if I just text him and tell him he can make it up to me by going on a date?”

“Bold moves, dude. I like it”

Of course, Luke liked it. It was a very Luke-inspired move. But Alex didn’t quite have the same guts as Luke. He didn’t think he could really pull it off.

“Ugh, no. My anxiety would skyrocket the second I sent the text. I just wanna know what the heart means!”

“Why don’t you ask him that then?”

Alex didn’t like how Reggie was the voice of reason here. That was supposed to be his job.

“Because if I ask him that he’ll know I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“You have been thinking about it all day.”

Alex finally reached his physical limit and stopped his pacing to fling his body onto the couch between Luke and Reggie, both boys catching different limbs and silently shifting to accompany his sudden presence.

“I don’t want him to know I’ve been thinking about it all day! That’s pathetic. Ugh, why didn’t I just say something in the moment!”

Reggie’s fingers were gentle against Alex’s scalp as he carded a hand through his hair reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Lex. You’ll think of something to say when the time is right. Release your worries to the wind and all that other junk, ya know? Just breathe.”

So, Alex breathed and tried to surrender his obsession into the ether. Reggie had been on a bit of a self-help kick lately, but honestly, it did help Alex more often than not, so he resolved to try and follow his best friend’s advice, even as his anxiety raged against the idea.

Turns out, the right time was exactly 11:43 pm when Alex suddenly awoke from a dead sleep where his dreams had been invaded by none other than Willie himself. He looked down at the number, the hastily scribbled name, and the accompanying heart bright against his pale skin even in the darkness of night and typed the message into his phone before he could think twice about it.

To: Willie<3 Considering you pancaked me, I think it’s only fair you make it up to me with a pancake breakfast. 9 am at Sandy’s Diner?

The responding message was almost instantaneous.

You’ve got yourself a date. Catch ya in the morning, pancake ;)

And for the second time that day, Willie wiped Alex’s mind completely blank, the word date playing on repeat until he fell asleep with his lips still curved into a smile, visions of a certain long-haired pretty boy dancing through his head.

[goldstonegolem64]

Book1 Hope returns  Chapter 36 talking the day away By goldstone Golem 64

on the castle of lions 

The Valkyrie had returned to the hanger bay after a solo mission to stop a Galra commander named Morvok from Stealing an engine from a race called the taujeer. To be honest it was by random chance that they stumbled upon the scene  but it did make jay feel a little better to help someone out when they needed it. But he still felt a pit in his stomach after what had happened to the others. As he got up from his seat and was head toward the cockpit door Val started talking to him

“ Are you alright my pilot you’ve been unusually quite as of late?” There was a bit of worry in her voice

“ I’m fine Val no need to worry” Jay replied 

“ Joseph I've been your partner  for nearly two months and I know when your lying “ Val said 

“ First of it’s been five weeks and four day . Second only my dad and siblings can Call me Joseph and third yes I am lying because I'm feeling guilty about what happened to the other “ 

“ Why do you feel guilty there was nothing we could have do to help them “ Val replied 

“ I Know but still I hate myself for not being there “ Jay said as he walked out of val’s mouth as he walked out into the hanger he notice the lack off sound and the lights were off which made jay uneasy “ Boy , Guys are you here” Jay yelled to an empty Hangar. Jay grabbed his Phone and Called fitz’s phone he wait a few seconds before he answered 

“ HEy Jay how was the mission “ Fitz asked

“ It went well i saved any entire race from being melted and destroyed another war ship . But that's not the point where are you and are your brothers with you?” Jay asked as he looked around the dark hanger

“ I’m studying with coran and Usamu and Bastion are with me Say hi guys “ fit said 

“ Hi Dad”Usamu said happily

“ Hello Father” Bastion said a little sheepishly 

“ Hello Jay how was the mission?” Coran asked 

“ it went well and now we have a new allie. now how are the boys doing with their studies?” Jay asked 

“ Their doing fine Fitz is having some trouble with reading, bastion is excelling in math and sciences And usamu has taken to art.” Coran said 

“ Good to Know now Coran i need to ask why are the lights in the the hanger i and the others call home not turning on “  Jay asked as turned on his helmet night vision on to double check the hanger bay  

“  Well that does make any scents we haven’t had that problem before you left i will come down there to see what is the problem as soon as possible “ Coran said 

“ Alright see you when you get here and you three better do whatever homework you get before doing anything game related “ Jay said 

“ Yes Jay ” Fitz groaned along with Bastion 

“ Ok “ Usamu said 

“ Bye dad “ all three boys said as fitz’s unhung up the phone 

Jay’s cheek marks started to glow and a smile came across his face as he heard that he felt a weight being lifted of him as he walked toward the prometheus as he did the lights turned back on. He didn’t know why the lights were off but he just thought it was because of what had happened a few days back and didn’t pay it no mind  as he walked into his ship he checked the clock on his phone and saw that it was two pm . He had time before dinner to feed his pets,shower and rest for a bit. 

First Jay walked over to the two terrariums and found that both of their food bowls were full. which was nice to see that the boys were  doing their chores before going to class that was nice before leaving he gave his two little lizards a good old head pats and a belly rub before taking a short shower.He walked into the living room and laid down onto one of three reclining chair and closed his eyes. But before he could fall a sleep he heard the sound of two sets of feet walking towards him he looked up and was Adam and Matt waking into the ship 

“ Hi Jay did we wake you ?” Adam asked 

“ No you didn’t So what do you two need ?” Jay asked 

“ We just wanted to hang out with the only other person from the milky way that was in a healing pod .”Matt said 

“ Ok what do you want to talk about “ Jay asked again

“ What is Mars like cualter wise we know that their hiding away the other race but what doing do for holiday what new holidays are there  ?” Adam asked

Jay sat up from his seat and started to think about home” Well i grow up with Galra and my family never really celebrated any Altean Holidays because my dad had a falling out with his parents because he wanted to marry mom and most altean holidays revolved around family and we never talked to them even after mom die. But the holidays we did celebrated are christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving but it has a new meaning on mars. Freedom day where we celebrate the day we got are independence from Earth and when the Arcs was opened it’s basically the four of july for two weeks. Some crazy Galra holidays that revolve around battle i lost a few teeth and collected a few as well. “ a small smile came onto Jays face as he remember all the good time “ Any weird Holidays on your world that do appear on my “

“ No seeing as we don’t have any other races other than humans so we don’t” Adam replied  

“ Ok seeing how you said that you don’t talk to you dad’s parents what is your mom’s family like ?” Matt asked

“ Well Grandma Diana and Grandma Vivian are fun to be round and Great parents tell me story of their lives on earth before the moved to mars Also my mo was and lonely child so i don’t have any cousin on her side. But her personal trainer Roofus is the closest thing to any uncle i will ever have.But enough about me what abut you guys what was your family lives like before all is madness” JAy said 

“ Well My parents kicked me out when they found out i was gay but before that it was like another family before that.i learned how to hunt and how to fly from my dad and i learned how to cook from my mom. So not to impressive. Your turn matt” Adam said

“ Well being the Son Of the Garrison Top scientists and was best friends with the two best pilots  I surprisingly had a normal family life. Well that was until the kerbors Mission. My mom didn’t want me or Shiro to going. Seeing as i was only nineteen and Shiro was getting married in a years time.Sometime i think she was right about not going and sometimes i’m happy i did. “Matt said with a smile on his face.

“So what happened in that years between your capture and now?” Jay asked

“ I was a slave for three months i was lucky enough to be in the same camp as my dad for a few day before they took him to a different camp. I don’t know what happened to him after that and that scares me. After that i was put through hell i was made to work every hour of everyday give just enough food to keep me alive. It sucked but i survived on the hopes i would see my family again. After the three month of working in the camp i was being moved and that was when the rebel came and freed me and the other slave that were with me. “Matt went onto explained how he meet Rolo ,Nyma  N-7 ,Ace and Beezer. How he had gone on dozens of mission to disrepute the Supply lines, Free work camps and free small outer rim worlds that the galra wouldn’t care about. 

“ Woah that was one hell of a year Man  not going to lie” Jay said wide eyed  

“ How did you survive all that” Adam asked 

“ a whole all of Skil Hope deturantion, Fear ,dumb lucky and the will to see my family again ” Matt said

“ Well that was a good way to kill a few hours” Jay said as he stood up from his seat 

“ Where are you going ?” Matt asked 

“ i’m going to start cooking dinner You guys want to Stay and help we can keep taking. “ Jay said as he walked towards the stairway.

“ Ok “ Adam said following Jay 

“ I have nothing better to do beside watch my sister being healed So why not  “ Matt said following his to friend 

In the kitchen 

“ Was what are we cooking today master chief?” Adam asked 

Jay grabbed the cookbook Hunk had made for” I’m think about a smoked salmon with a side of Yellow rice.” as he grabbed the Rice cooker and placed it onto the stove “ Ok Adam you're with me were cut the onions the peppers and garlic.” Jay said as he grabbed  the ingradenset   

“ What do you what me to do ?” Matt asked 

“ fill the Rice cook will water then add Half a bag of rice  and after twenty minutes able the Sazion   . After that Help us “ Jay said as he started to cut the onions .

A few minutes Late 

“ So Adam anything new Going on with your life “ Jay asked

“ Nothing really But that tree you gave me and Shiro is growing pretty well i was going to ask if we can have another” Adam asked 

“ How are you ready for any kid the first one hasn’t even been born yet “ Jay said casually not looking up from his cutting board 

Adam stopped cutting and looked toward Jay  “ Wait what do you mean the first kid hasn’t been born yet “  

Jay froze up and remembered that he never told them about the Gain tree he gave them

“ What do you mean JAy What the fuck do you mean” Adam watched as Jay started to literally get smaller

 Jay started to laugh nervously “OK you can’t hurt me when i tell you promise “ Jay looked up to Adam While Matt pulled out his Phone and Started to record  what was about to happen.

“Promise but you are on thin ice “ adam said with a imtimateing looking in his eyes 

“ Ok i Accidently gave you and Shiro the wrong seed and i never got around to tell you. And before you ask the seed are called Gain and they give birth to a child after a few weeks after being planted” Jay said as he started to slow get closer to the door 

“ How do you do that on Accident and how long have you know?” Adam asked as anger started to bubble up in him.

“ The closet there were in was the same as the Aphrodite tree and after you got shot down it made ever seed fall to the floor and both seeds look the same” Jay said laughing hard 

“ How long Jay How long “

 “ An hour after your wedding. Fitz pointed it out to me that night i meant to tell you but again I forgot about it” Jay said with a smile on his face 

Matt was losing it As Adam leapted toward Jays. Jay let out a Small scream. the to rolled around on the floor neither were throwing punches. Jay was just screaming As Adam put him into a headlock and nudged him. After a few minutes the kitchen door opened And Allura ran in

“ What is going on here” Allura asked As she looked around the kitchen Matt was doubled over laughing madly As both Adam and jay looked embarrassed as the both got up from the floor and Jay turned back to his normal size 

“ Nothing that important just to friend messing Around” Adam said Punching Jay in the should jokingly 

“ HAAHAHHA Yeah just bro being Bro” Matt said 

“ YEah just dudes being dude” Jay said 

Allura looked at each one of the man before Talking Again “ Ok if your not going to talk me what really happened i don’t care. I came here to tell you that the boys are doing their Homework with Coran so they will be back before dinner “ 

“ Ok they could have just texted me but thanks Allura do you want to stay for dinner ?”  Jay asked 

“ No i’ve eaten Already. But thank you for asking “Allura said as she left the Kitchen 

Three men stayed quiet for a few minutes before they return to working on dinner 

“ So why didn’t you tell Allura About my Fuck up?” Jay asked 

“ Because I know how Allura gets when you brought the boys on board the ship So i’m not going to have her lost it on you because of a mistake and huge life changing mistake But a mistake i had a hand in when i crashed you house “ Adam said rubbing the back of his head 

“ Thank man and when the ki is born i will try my best to help where i can” Jay said the to friend bumped fist 

“ But your buying All the clothes no matter how much it is  when we find a trade moon ok ” Adam said 

Jay rolled his eyes “  Alright   alright you got yourself a dealt and Matt you better not send that video to anyone ok” Jay said

“ To late “ Matt said with a nervous smile on his face  

As Both Jay and Adam looked at each other Before the sound of multiple foot steps coming toward the kitchen 

“ I hate you “ Jay and Adam said together as the door to the kitchen opened letting ever crew member in

Three hour later Adam walked into his room and walked over to the pot with the gain tree was and looked at it. Adam didn’t know how to feel about become a father in a few weeks. But he had done some crazy thing the passed few weeks so how hard could parenting be right? 

[nicked-hatchet]

The Orders and their armour

I woke up full of spite and vinegar and I have to put it into words.

So! Tyria has three orders, right? The Vigil, the Order of Whispers, and the Durmond Priory. I want to take a look at their armours; specifically the armour class that matches the ‘character’ of each of them.

Let’s start with the Vigil.

The Vigil are the brawn. They believe that an army of all of Tyria’s people united is needed to protect the world. These are the guys you’ll see helping  people in the the fields, keeping bandits and dragon minions at bay from outposts and villages with good old fisticuffs. They’re the soldiers so let’s have a look at their soldier class armour.

Alright. Roman inspired helmet, yeah? The gauntlets and boots look a little clunky to me and those pauldrons look fit to hurt your friends in tight quarters but eh. I do dig the half skirt thing going on with the greaves. It does look more practical than many other heavy armours in the game which makes sense if you’re outfitting an army. Don’t want to have glowy people running around blinding each other or whacking each other with 5-foot spikes on their helmets.

Let’s have a look at what the ladies get.

Ugh. Uuuuugh. What is this? What is that breastplate? Not only has it got boobplate with a boob window but it’s open on the sides and the back? What the fuck? Do you want people stabbing your soldiers in their spines and vital organs? And don’t even get me started on what’s basically a fucking armoured miniskirt with thigh high boots. What even?! You’d think the order focused on combat would know how to outfit their soldiers! WHAT IS THIS?!? FUCK! WHY WITH THIS BULLSHITTERY?!?!

Okay, okay, calming down and moving on.

The Order of Whispers are the spies and the assassins. They believe that overt techniques will not prevail and instead to protect Tyria you have to work from the shadows. They’ll know what you ate for dinner last night and they’ll use it to shelter those around you from the stinky farts that may follow. Any dragon minion tries to infiltrate Tyrian settlements these guys will know it instantly and will have the threat taken care of without you even noticing it. Let’s have a look at their adventurer class armour.

Mmm yeah. Lots of knives and blade-y things on it. A little open in the back mayhaps, but hey, I can forgive it for the overall cool Assassin’s Creed style look of this thing. It’s pretty dang neat. Makes you look like a badass.

How ‘bout their ladies?

Eeech…. I mean… Eeeech… Why don’t the ladies get the awesome facemask? What? And how is that top even staying on? Or the hood for that matter? I guess if the men show a little back the ladies gotta show all of it? Oh and have a look at that navel hole. Just so you know where to stick that blade to hit the guts and juicy parts. At least her legs are covered. Sheesh.

Okay, last order now.

The Durmond Priory; our resident scholars and historians. These guys collect every single book, dig up every single artifact, collect every witness statement of events, and safeguard the information so that the knowledge may be used to protect Tyria. Risen at your doorstep? They’ve got an old human artifact that will transform you to an avatar of the god of war, smiting anything that dares enter your home. Let’s have a look at their aptly named scholar class armour.

I’m not gonna lie; this is my least favourite of the bunch. It’s a little too… busy? I dunno. It does tend to look better in the order colours which are a bit more muted than the gold trims that feature here. Either way it looks pompous and important which is in character for these guys. They’re the wisest and best in their own ‘humble’ opinion and I do like that they’ve got some proper pants under that robe.

Ladies..?

Oh with the random patches of skin showing. What ARE those boobsocks? WHY?! You’re SCHOLARS! WHAT PURPOSE DO THOSE SERVE?! Do you have to SEXY the books to read them?! Everything else here is comparable to the male version! It’s just the chest piece! Look at that! It’s like they actually made this armour pretty much equal to the male counterpart and then the creepy marketing guy come over and went “can’t have this!” and brought out his shitty photoshop. WHY WITH THIS?!

I love this fucking game, okay? I love the world, I love the lore, and I love all the things it does right in terms of representation. But it also does so many things wrong and all the good examples make the bad ones so much more egregious. And there are a lot more bad examples than this. These are just some that stick out in my mind right now because they’re not only examples of stupid sexy female armour, but they’re also out of character for their orders. This makes no sense!

Anet plz. I ask again; why with this?

[masseffectgayliens]

How come the rest of the gang isnt aware of their fans?

Tali read the question out loud, for the whole “gang” to hear. It was virtually pointless though, as most of them were entrenched in their dinner anyway.

“I wouldn’t say you’re not aware. You’re not the brightest bulbs in the bunch but you can’t be that thickheaded, either. Especially since some of them send you suspiciously regular mail and stuff.”, Tali answered, mostly addressing herself to the Normandy walls and to Gardner. Ah, Gardner. Always conspicuously trying to appear inconspicuous while listening for any dirt on members of the crew.

“Tali, we joined the Normandy squad fan forum. You know that.”, Shepard grumbled, frustratingly stabbing her peas.

Garrus chuckled slightly from next to her, to which she responded with an objectively painful kick to the helpless turian’s shin, and a murderous glare.

Then the whole thing came back to Tali, and she started audibly giggling as well, rejoicing in the fact that she was a safe distance away from the angry commander.

Throwback to a few months earlier. Tali had just stepped into the cargo bay, ready for another mission, but as she looked around, she found only Garrus, leaning back against the Hammerhead, fiddling with his datapad. She shrugged, realising they were both probably early, and she thought there would be no better opportunity to hone her turian-pestering skills than while waiting for Shepard to waltz them off towards more danger. He was so entrenched in what he was doing that he didn’t notice her until she cheerfully plucked the datapad from his grasp.

Sneaky quarian snooper: 1, Her victim, now with increased trust issues: 0.

While he was exclaiming with surprise, Tali examined the screen in front of her.

“…Galactic Ass-Kickers United?”

Garrus flicked his mandibles in annoyance, swiping his datapad back and holding it above his head.

Self-elected Normandy midget representative: 1, Tall turian asshole: 1.

Normally, Tali would give him another type of well-deserved kick to the shin for this blatant abuse of his freaky height, but right now she was too curious as to why Garrus was browsing an online nerd forum.

“It’s, uh, it’s what some people call us. Apparently.”, he said sheepishly.

“Us?”

“You, me, everyone who went after Saren.”

“Oh.”

A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed. Tali was pondering his words, Garrus was still warily holding the datapad above her reach. Until he suddenly felt his earlier assholery get repaid tenfold when the quarian forcefully stomped on his foot, causing him to double over with a groan, which prompted Tali to swiftly rid him of his precious possession. Again.

Everyone that isn’t Garrus: 2, Garrus: -25684.

With Garrus’ whines as relaxing background noises, Tali looked through the site, its threads and topics, until the realisation dawned on her.

“Garrus, how long have you been a part of our official fan forum?”

“First off, that was a cheap move, second off, why’s it matter?”

“OhmygodhaveyouseenthisfanartGarrusKeelah”, she exclaimed in one breath.

Dismissing her suit’s inner ventilation system for not having enough dramatic effect, Tali fanned herself, admiring a smutty piece of work depicting Shepard, Garrus and herself.

“Spirits, Tali, I don’t go looking for it!”

“How come your inbox isn’t totally full of spam from our dedicated fans, then?”, she asked, looking over his sparse chat boxes with various members.

Most of his interactions were quite tame. He left witty remarks on most discussions, and chatted harmlessly with a few users about nothing in particular.

“Probably because they don’t know who I really am. To them, I’m simply TheLegend27.”, he declared, a bit too confidently for someone who chose TheLegend27 as a username.

Tali snorted, still shamelessly going through his activity log.

He seemed to engage with one forum user specifically. Almost every comment Garrus posted was somehow in relation to one Quads_of_fury. Tali tapped on his latest notification, which brought her to a thread entitled “NORMANDY CREW MOST LIKELY TOs”. And, although the thread itself was a goldmine, a certain inspired username caught Tali’s attention.

Quads_of_fury, 4:36 CT: most likely to spend all their credits on stupid shit?? i vote kaidan. he looks like the kind of guy who would literally start crying happy tears when he sees a lush shop

 Interestingly enough, Kaidan had swooned at the sight of the intergalactic bath bomb. He broke down, actually. Two times. Two times Tali had to almost completely physically restrain him so he didn’t waste his credits away on soaps and perfumes and lotions and OK they all smelled really good, but Tali was taught better than to give in to Satan like that. She wasn’t weak. Not to insinuate that Kaidan was. He was just really, really, into self-care products. Tali pictured the value of property damage they’d have to cover when Kaidan’s tears eventually flooded the lush shop, setting off all of the bath bombs at the same time.

She shuddered.

Naturally, TheLegend27 had something to say to Quads_of_fury.

TheLegend27, 4:38 CT: I vote Shepard. Mostly because I’ve actually stumbled into her at the supermarket. I could only stare in awe as I watched her pay for a disco ball helmet, a ketchup gun and glow in the dark toilet paper.

 Tali snickered, turning towards Garrus.

“Does Shepard know you’re shamelessly backstabbing her on the extranet?”

“Oh, please. She should’ve expected it.”

Tali clicked on Garrus’ most recently created thread: “Shepard is fuckin short. Discuss”. She put it in her “Stuff To Shamelessly Blackmail Garrus With” mental folder.

“Nevermind, I know she doesn’t know because if she did she’d have killed you by now.”, she stated matter-of-factly.

He just looked at her strangely, his mandibles flaring in what she came to recognize as the turian equivalent of a smile. Confused, she decided his cryptic looks could suck it, and she resumed her activities.

Quads_of_fury, 4:50 CT: ok first off RUDE second off shes not fuckin short her online bio says shes 5’4” shes AVERAGE honestly and even if she was short who cares shes like the badassest person ever rn and these kinds of threads just undermine her authority so to conclude. u suck @TheLegend27

 Tali was moved to tears. Honestly. Quads_of_fury’s speech would make Shepard proud.

TheLegend27, 4:56 CT: *She’s 5’2”. **Which is short even for a human. ***The most badass

Quads_of_fury, 4:57 CT: I KNOW HOW IT’S SPELLED ASSHOLE

 The next thread was entitled “Shepard Appreciation Thread”.

Honestly Tali’s blackmail folder was having a field day.

She scrolled down to a piece of fanart depicting the crew, with Shepard as a focal point, happily crying while hugging Liara.

Quads_of_fury, 3:23 CT: false shepard does not cry

TheLegend27, 3:24 CT: Except when you point out the fact that elcor don’t wear shoes, then she spirals into depression

 It was a universal certainty that Shepard was never going to live that down. The one time she decided getting drunk was a good idea, after finally saving the galaxy, she got filmed by a bunch of curious teenagers. Honestly, the entire crew was pretty hammered, but when they started waxing philosophical about different species, Shepard had an epiphany, and no amount of alcohol would ever help her forget the vid of her sobbing at the thought of elcor rubbing their nasty feet-hands on every public bathroom floor. The extranet was a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

“So like… Are you going out of your way to personally victimize this user? Are they like your forum crush or something?”, Tali asked, finally tearing her eyes away from TheLegend27’s forum drama.

Garrus smirked at her again, then, without answering, turned around to greet Shepard herself, finally showing up, ready for another day of dodging bullets.

As they climbed into the shuttle, Tali felt him bend down, mouth closing in on her ear.

“You’ll see.”, he said, passionately typing away on his datapad.

Fast forward to dinner time, when Tali had all but forgotten about Garrus’ extranet vendetta against Quads_of_fury. Until the commander walked in, fashionably late once more, brows meeting in a small, frustrated knot.

“Who pissed in your cereal, huh?”, Jack inquisitively jabbed an elbow at her, careful not to drop her own bowl of cereal.

“This random extranet dickbrain. It’s no big deal, they’re just really annoying.”

“Oh, really? What sites are you surfing these days, Shep?”, Kasumi innocently piped in, giving Garrus, who was sitting right next to Tali, a knowing wink.

“Uhm, you know. Fan forums. And stuff. I’m interested in what people think of us.”

Shepard had her back to Tali, but the quarian was certain her face was now doing that distinctly human thing, when it became redder than the N7 stripe.

“I’m a member of your fan forum too, actually. Who’s bothering you? Is it TheLegend27?”, the thief pressed on.

Tali wanted to die.

“Yeah? How’d you know?”

“Who’s TheLegend27?”, Jack asked, her words just as dripped in confusion.

“Some say TheLegend27 is the first forum user ever. Born from fire.”

“I heard, TheLegend27 can never get banned, because they always come back.”, Garrus casually added.

“I heard TheLegend27 once locked an entire thread with a single roast.”, Joker joined in.

“But the worst part is, just when you think you’re safe”, Kasumi went on, ”just when you think you might escape… WHAM!!! Just like that! You get trolled.”

When everyone around the mess table faked a collective gasp, she sank even deeper in her suicidal disposition.

“I hate literally all of you.”, she caught herself saying, but she was cut off by the sound of Shepard’s datapad notification.

She checked it, slowly, then very suddenly her head snapped up to Garrus, who was cheerfully typing away, just as another notification sound pierced the tense silence.

Shepard didn’t advance, not before getting a tall glass and filling it with cold water. Then, as she menacingly started approaching Garrus, raising her glass like a weapon, all Tali could think was, he had it coming.

“This is a good time for you to become a missing person, Vakarian.”

Yep. Definitely had it coming.

[peacekeeperangel]

Flamethrower Chapter 6

OH MY LORD THIS CHAPTER

Sorry it took so long guys I had to do a complete re-write TWICE and I’m still not totally happy with it. Eventually I just decided to put it out because otherwise I’ll be writing this one chapter until Doomsday. God willing I’ll be a little faster now that the Beast has been slain.

Summary: Not much is known about Sans the Skeleton. He owns a bar in Snowdin. He has a younger brother Named Papyrus. And recently something’s been raiding his trash for food. Reversing the Roles of the Baby Blaster AU originally created by @spacegate

Part 6 of 17(?)

Notice: this Piece is mostly self-edited and may contain typos, grammar errors and run on sentences. if you spot a mistake, please report kindly

Undyne didn’t stay for long after Gaster had left. It had only been thanks to her father’s mercy that she had been allowed to stay and assist. But that was only for one day, which was quickly coming to an end.

The bar was closed. Sans didn’t bother leaving any sort of note or explanation as to why on the front door. Snowdin was a tiny town, secrets were difficult to keep, especially when it involved the town barkeep. Sans hoped at the very least he could keep the local gossip mongers at bay long enough to get this new charge comfortable.

This was a more difficult task than Sans had originally expected. While he fully realized that Grillby was skittish, what he didn’t expect was how sensitive the elemental was. Sans could turn suddenly or knock over a bottle and the Elemental would freeze solid, or bolt for anyplace to hide, usually tripping over his own feet in the process. Sans couldn’t help to be impressed that his hyper-energetic high-volume brother had managed to keep the anxious child calm long enough for Sans and Caedmon to collect them both.

Unsurprised, but impressed. After all his baby brother was the greatest after all.

“Are y’really sure you wanna help Grillby?” Sans asked, “Y’might be a little more comfortable sitting with Papyrus for a little bit.” They were currently making Sans’ old room more habitable for Grillby, which mostly consisted of clearing out all the trash that was scattered throughout the room. Most of Sans’ clothes were in the wash, or simply draped around the house, much to Papyrus’ dismay.

“M’okay....” Grillby replied, his gravelly voice whisper-soft as usual as he fiddled with this oversized shirt and shorts. Not as bad as the adult sized t-shirt he had been running around in but Papyrus’ Hand-me-downs were a vast improvement until Sans could go shopping for proper clothes.  “...Want to be useful.” He added cautiously.

After a few scares and startles, Grillby had settled on top of the mattress that made up the bed, watching as Sans would putter about the room and stuff whatever random object that fell into his field of vision into a plastic garbage bag.  Not exactly ‘useful’ but the young elemental seemed to be a lot calmer in Sans’ presence, so he really had no reason to complain.

What Sans really wanted most was for Grillby to answer some of his questions. Like how he was able to change shape, or why he had been in the forest alone for weeks?

Most importantly, what had Gaster said to him when Undyne had left them both alone?

“Hey, Grillby?”

The boy looked up at him with solid white eyes. “Yes sir?”

It was Sans’ turn to flinch. “Please don’t call me ‘sir’ kiddo. Makes me feel old.” He stared at the child for a few moments, “...How about we go make some dinner eh?” the skeleton just didn’t have the heart to disturb the child.

Before Grillby could even form a reply, a sound resembling more of a cannon shot than someone knocking, resulted in the entire room flooded with a wave of heat that felt like he was back in Hotland and light that left him seeing spots.

Sans quickly discovered the cause when the spots cleared. Curled up in a corner, looking less like a walking talking campfire flame and more like an oversized sparkler was Grillby in his cat form. Solid White eyes wide open and unseeing.

“Grillby?” Sans knelt down, “Kid...? Are you-” he cut himself off before he could finish his stupid question. It was clear to anyone with any lick of sense that Grillby was about as far from ‘alright’ as a monster could get. Sans knew the kid was jumpy in regards to sudden noises, but this was unlike any previous reactions before.

It also didn’t help that the monster who had knocked so forcefully hadn’t stopped knocking since the first strike. While none were as powerful as that first hit, it was still loud enough to be heard clearly from the second floor, with each strike a spark flew off of the tiny elemental.

“Hold that thought Grillbz,” Sans grinned brightly to the prone fire cat, disguising his annoyance. “I’m going to go answer the door.”  

Sans held back from teleporting, opting instead for a brisk power walk down to the front door, letting his temper simmer at just the right level he used when he wanted to scare the ever-loving crap out of rowdy customers. “Hey y’mind cooling it with the drum solo, we’re kind of prefer smooth jazz to rock n’ roll-”

“Open the door y’cheeky whippersnapper!” an aged voice bellowed from behind the front door. “It’s too cold for jokes!”

Sans blinked, pausing briefly before he opened the door for a large, ancient turtle monster wearing a pith helmet and furry-looking overcoat. “Gerson?!”

“Wahahahaha! Hello sonny, about time you got that door!” the turtle crowed, stroking a scraggly looking goatee with one hand while carrying a massive grocery bag, nearly the size of Sans himself in the crook of his arm, “Snowdin is just as cold as I remember it to be.”

“Uh... Wha...?” was all that Sans was able to get out before Gerson shoved the bag into his arms and half-stomped half-limped into the house, kicking snow from his boots.

“A little fishy told me a little about the mischief she and Papyrus got into this weekend,” Gerson proclaimed cheerfully,  “including something involving a fire elemental with, and I quote “Super Cool Hero Powers”?”

Sans sighed, enveloping the grocery bag in an aura of blue magic. “It’s a lot more complicated than that Gerson.” he admitted, levitating the bag beside him. “The kid... It’s a really long story.”

“I wouldn’t have walked into this Ice Box willingly for a short story short stuff.” Gerson smirked dryly, “Now, mind satisfying this old man’s curiosity? What’s this about a kid with powers?”

Sans sighed, shoving the bag back into Gerson’s hands. “Mind waiting a bit before I start spilling my guts mister Captain of the Guard?”

“Retired.” Gerson snorted, taking the bag before it tipped over, “Is there a problem?” he asked, a note of concern in his voice as he watched the skeleton climb the stairs.  

“Hopefully not anymore since you stopped trying to beat the front door down.” Sans replied, gratified when the old turtle winced sheepishly, “But I’d like not to overwhelm him right at the moment.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

Grillby was still hunched up in the same corner Sans had left him when he had gone downstairs, but the cat’s flames were more settled- Less firecracker and more candlelight sort of fire.

“Hey Grillbz,” Heat came off of the elemental in strong waves, Sans tried to approach but was only rewarded with a sharp spike in the temperature.  “Turns out all that banging was this old obnoxious jerk I know.” he squatted down as close as he could to the little elemental without burning himself, gratified with the cat blinked slowly, as if to acknowledge his existence. “I’m going to go downstairs and talk with him a bit. Wanna come?”  to his utter surprise the little cat nodded slowly.

“Are you going to stay the way you are now?” Grillby nodded again a little quicker than before, but made no move to stand. “Do you want me to go down ahead?” Grillby nodded a third time.

“Okay, cool...” an idea came to him. “Do you wanna talk to the guy?” the kitten shook his head, confirming Sans’ suspicion. “That’s fine, you can have something to eat while we’re in there, then he won’t bother you.” he pointed to his mouth, “People won’t bother you with your mouth full amirite?”

Grillby’s feline face was full of confusion as he nodded uncertainly. “Trust me it’s an old trick I used to pull when... well nevermind.” Sans scratched the back of his bony head. “Anyway I’ll go on ahead, come down as soon as you’re ready okay? No pressure.” He stood up, and quietly exited the room, pausing on his journey to check on Papyrus.

No change, The younger skeleton was still sleeping soundly, wrapped up in almost every blanket in the house. The doctor assuring Sans that Papyrus just had a bad cold- attributed mostly to his wet clothes when the rescue party had found their cave. Papyrus would be his normal bouncy self in a short while.  

Satisfied that everything was as well it could be, Sans returned to the kitchen, “Okay, Grillby just needs a little extra time, but he’ll be down...?” He stopped dead in his tracks just inside the kitchen door.

“Gerson...What the heck?”

In the brief amount of time it had taken Sans to check on the boys, Gerson had unpacked a surprising amount of goods from his grocery bag, and was in the middle of cooking... something. Sans wasn’t quite sure what but at that moment the old turtle was in the middle of reducing a large onion into an equally large pile of onion bits.

“Figured you might be hungry.” Gerson replied simply, tossing the diced onion into a frying pan, “And that you might want a break after, what... a day of running around?”

“Two, actually.” Sans replied settling into the small breakfast space set aside in the corner of the kitchen. “Plus, the doctor’s visit... and filing the report with the Canine unit... Visiting Caedmon at the Guardhouse...Gaster....” Sans found himself wondering when he last ate. It was one of those habits he had that drove Papyrus batty.

“Oof. My regards on that last one.” Gerson winced sympathetically, grasping a packet of mushrooms he opened them and began the work of cleaning and preparing them for the pan. “Now, how about telling me that long story?”

So he did. Sans told the old turtle about the mystery that Papyrus had solved through blind stubbornness and many nights of hot dogs. About Sans going out night-after night after closing the restaurant to search for the mysterious fire child behind Papyrus’ back only to find Papyrus going out to do the exact same thing and succeeding where Sans had failed to the cost of the younger brother’s health.

“An exciting few days t’be sure.” Gerson said stirring a pot of something heavenly fragrant. “So. Whatcha going to do with the little spark?”

Sans cocked a non-existent eyebrow. “Do?” he intoned, “I don’t quite follow your lead on this Mon Capitanne. What do you expect me to do beyond keep the kid safe and fed right?”

Gerson chuckled darkly. “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me we’re in Waterfall. I remember your case against Gaster.” Sans froze, his eye lights going out. “The child prodigy of the Royal Scientist running up to my Second in Command’s front door, Little brother in hand and shouting that both their lives were in mortal danger?”

Sans didn’t reply leaving only the sound of Gerson’s spoon scraping the bottom of the pot to fill the room.

“I told you the whole story then....” Sans finally broke the silence.

“That you did. I don’t need to dredge up the whole ugly court battle with that old Ghoul of a Royal Scientist, but here you are... and here’s a boy who can somehow do the same things you claimed Gaster was attempting to do with yourself and-”

“Just Papyrus!” Sans barked sharply, his hands shaking as he balled them into bony fists. “Glass Canons Aren’t Useful On The Battlefield....” the words rang hollowly as Gerson stumped beside him and laid a careful hand over his shoulders.

“You’re here Sans.” Gerson’s grizzled voice was firm, supportive and yet gentle. In a way it reminded Sans of the Redwood trees that surrounded Snowdin. “Your safe and So is Papyrus. You got away.”

Sans quietly nodded, resting a hand on the hand of the old turtle.

“Um...”

The pair looked up to see the fire elemental clinging nervously to the doorway looking ready to flee at any given second. “I-Is th...um...”

“Oh hey kid,” Sans stood up quickly, “Don’t worry about this guy, he’s the old jerk I was telling you about upstairs.” he said jovially jerking a thumb in Gerson’s direction. “Hey Gerson meet the new Housemate Grillby.”

“Howdy Grillby.” Gerson said with a dip of his pith helmet. The elemental started blankly back at the old turtle and said nothing clinging to the doorway like his life depended on it.

“Hey, uh Gerson how about giving Grillby a taste of your food?” Sans grinned nervously at the old turtle, who quickly got the message and stepped back towards the stove. “You’ll love this kid I learned everything about food from this guy.”

“And yet you still eat Typhus pods like they’re going out of fashion.” Gerson snorted back as he gathered up three plates from their resting place in the kitchen’s drying rack. “I hope you’re giving him something else.”

“Mr. Papyrus gave me sinaminbunzz...” Grillby said, his whisper voice sinking into a mumble as he looked away.

Gerson laughed, a quieter version of his normal booming belly-laugh. “Wahahaha, is that so? Do you like Papyrus?” He asked the question of Grillby but continued staring at the pot as he juggled the plates with a deftness that defied his age as he poured out a rice-like noodle with a creamy sauce.

“....He’s very strong.” Grillby replied simply, staring at the plates with an intensity Sans only saw from the Canine Unit when they came to the restaurant. “They’re both very strong.”

“Is that why you agreed to stay with Sans? Because he’s strong?” Grillby responded to Gerson’s question with a nod, trying very hard not to look the turtle in the face.

Sans wasn’t sure why Grillby was trying so hard not to look at Gerson, when Sans was able to maintain eye contact with the young elemental almost right from the start.

If it bothered the old turtle, he gave no sign as he stepped up to the table and set two plates of mushroom risotto down “Well dig in, youngsters. Here’s to brighter tomorrows.”

Grillby stared at his plate then looked over at the mushroom risotto next to Sans.  “Ummm...?”  

Sans cocked a non-existent eyebrow “What’s wrong kid?” he asked, “Something on your mind?”

Grillby jolted in surprise.... then proceeded to cram the dish into his mouth by the handful, the mild scent of burning cream and mushroom wafting through the air as he completely disregarded the temperature of the dish.

“Uh, Grillby there are things known as spoons yanno...?” he said picking up his own spoon as an example. Grillby’s only response was to pick up the spoon and continue shovelling in food just as fast as he swallowed it down.

“People don’t bother you with your mouth full,” Stupid. the little voice in the back of Sans’ brain reminded him. He resisted the urge to facepalm as he set the utensil down. “Slow down will you kid? There’s plenty of seconds.”

This statement actually caused the manic shovelling to stop as Grillby looked to Sans in wide-eyed surprise. “Murrr?” he asked his cheeks bulging with Mushroom pasta.

“Yeah, in fact-” Sans’ plate glowed with an aura of blue light as it hovered over to Grillby’s plate and dumped a healthy portion of its contents onto it. “I’m not as hungry as I thought I was. You can have some of mine.”

“Sans? Mind if we chat in the living room for a bit?” Gerson spoke up gently, having moved to the door in the brief time Sans had conversed with the little elemental.

“Sure thing.” Sans set his plate down close enough that Grillby could reach for it, but far enough to not make it look like he was essentially giving the befuddled elemental his whole dinner. “You know where to find me if you need me Grillby.” Sans assured him before stepping out.

“Here.” Gerson pressed the box into his hands before Sans had a chance to form a question. “They’ll be useful, just in case.”

Sans carefully opened the box to reveal a dozen or so metal rectangles, each the size of a domino each with a golden yellow gemstone set into the center of it.

“What the heck are these?” Sans asked, holding up one rectangle, rewarded with the image of a blazing fire shining from inside the stone depending on how the light caught it.

“Magic Suppressors.” Gerson replied gruffly, “Fire Magic Suppressors.”

Sans nearly dropped the box. “Gerson what the hell?!” he hissed, hoping that his long term house guest hadn’t heard the old turtle’s statement.

“Don’t let the bogey stories from the Big War scare you Sans, they’re not as bad as all that.” Gerson assured, his leathery face unchanging. “Any monster could overpower one of these with one good shot, but these should keep ambient fire magic down.”

“And how is an already squirrelly kid going to feel when he finds out I’ve got a box of these damn things?!” Sans retorted sharply. “He barely trusts me as it is!”

“Probably relieved, if I’m a betting Monster.” Gerson replied peering briefly over Sans’ shoulder towards the kitchen. “Most people forget, but short of Boss Monsters, Elementals are one of the most dangerous monsters in the Underground.”

“This isn’t a very funny joke Gerson,” Sans said, “I mean yeah the kid’s got an itchy trigger finger when he’s scared but-”

“Sans I saw his LVL.” Gerson interrupted. “I checked it when I gave you both food.”

Sans froze. He had always meant to check the boy’s level of violence but a part of him didn’t want to know. “How high?”

“Not as high as my own, or any Veteran’s but... far too high for a child to wield.” Gerson said, “Elementals are very disciplined but their power tends to go off-kilter when emotionally...” the old turtle paused to search for the words, “... emotionally distressed.” He finally settled.

“I’ve seen Elementals whip up storms or flood whole villages just from grief or anger. If I’m right, Grillby’s got enough power to burn all of Snowdin and half of Waterfall to ash,” Gerson said firmly,  “N’just by going by his behaviour in the kitchen and what you told me, I think he may already know that.”

“You think he’s still scared of me?” Sans asked.

“I think the poor boy’s scared to death of himself.” Gerson insisted.

Sans thought about that. “So what should I do? Tell the kid to stop feeling so much?” He asked sarcastically.

Gerson groaned, “Dammit Sans I said no such thing! All the suppressors are for is to protect you, Papyrus and any other monster in case Grillby looses his grip on his self control.” he said tersely

“You think it’s bound to happen?”

“I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already,to be perfectly honest..” Gerson sighed sadly, “It’s probably only a matter of time.”