#and I wanted Aerin to wear their armour

[nicked-hatchet]

The Orders and their armour

I woke up full of spite and vinegar and I have to put it into words.

So! Tyria has three orders, right? The Vigil, the Order of Whispers, and the Durmond Priory. I want to take a look at their armours; specifically the armour class that matches the ‘character’ of each of them.

Let’s start with the Vigil.

The Vigil are the brawn. They believe that an army of all of Tyria’s people united is needed to protect the world. These are the guys you’ll see helping  people in the the fields, keeping bandits and dragon minions at bay from outposts and villages with good old fisticuffs. They’re the soldiers so let’s have a look at their soldier class armour.

Alright. Roman inspired helmet, yeah? The gauntlets and boots look a little clunky to me and those pauldrons look fit to hurt your friends in tight quarters but eh. I do dig the half skirt thing going on with the greaves. It does look more practical than many other heavy armours in the game which makes sense if you’re outfitting an army. Don’t want to have glowy people running around blinding each other or whacking each other with 5-foot spikes on their helmets.

Let’s have a look at what the ladies get.

Ugh. Uuuuugh. What is this? What is that breastplate? Not only has it got boobplate with a boob window but it’s open on the sides and the back? What the fuck? Do you want people stabbing your soldiers in their spines and vital organs? And don’t even get me started on what’s basically a fucking armoured miniskirt with thigh high boots. What even?! You’d think the order focused on combat would know how to outfit their soldiers! WHAT IS THIS?!? FUCK! WHY WITH THIS BULLSHITTERY?!?!

Okay, okay, calming down and moving on.

The Order of Whispers are the spies and the assassins. They believe that overt techniques will not prevail and instead to protect Tyria you have to work from the shadows. They’ll know what you ate for dinner last night and they’ll use it to shelter those around you from the stinky farts that may follow. Any dragon minion tries to infiltrate Tyrian settlements these guys will know it instantly and will have the threat taken care of without you even noticing it. Let’s have a look at their adventurer class armour.

Mmm yeah. Lots of knives and blade-y things on it. A little open in the back mayhaps, but hey, I can forgive it for the overall cool Assassin’s Creed style look of this thing. It’s pretty dang neat. Makes you look like a badass.

How ‘bout their ladies?

Eeech…. I mean… Eeeech… Why don’t the ladies get the awesome facemask? What? And how is that top even staying on? Or the hood for that matter? I guess if the men show a little back the ladies gotta show all of it? Oh and have a look at that navel hole. Just so you know where to stick that blade to hit the guts and juicy parts. At least her legs are covered. Sheesh.

Okay, last order now.

The Durmond Priory; our resident scholars and historians. These guys collect every single book, dig up every single artifact, collect every witness statement of events, and safeguard the information so that the knowledge may be used to protect Tyria. Risen at your doorstep? They’ve got an old human artifact that will transform you to an avatar of the god of war, smiting anything that dares enter your home. Let’s have a look at their aptly named scholar class armour.

I’m not gonna lie; this is my least favourite of the bunch. It’s a little too… busy? I dunno. It does tend to look better in the order colours which are a bit more muted than the gold trims that feature here. Either way it looks pompous and important which is in character for these guys. They’re the wisest and best in their own ‘humble’ opinion and I do like that they’ve got some proper pants under that robe.

Ladies..?

Oh with the random patches of skin showing. What ARE those boobsocks? WHY?! You’re SCHOLARS! WHAT PURPOSE DO THOSE SERVE?! Do you have to SEXY the books to read them?! Everything else here is comparable to the male version! It’s just the chest piece! Look at that! It’s like they actually made this armour pretty much equal to the male counterpart and then the creepy marketing guy come over and went “can’t have this!” and brought out his shitty photoshop. WHY WITH THIS?!

I love this fucking game, okay? I love the world, I love the lore, and I love all the things it does right in terms of representation. But it also does so many things wrong and all the good examples make the bad ones so much more egregious. And there are a lot more bad examples than this. These are just some that stick out in my mind right now because they’re not only examples of stupid sexy female armour, but they’re also out of character for their orders. This makes no sense!

Anet plz. I ask again; why with this?