#ramen is supposed to be college food!

[rapmonkive]

A letter with some pictures she's sneakily taken of her and the rest of the members and him and more pocket money for snacks it's not a joke any more she wants to make sure he can treat himself.

It's been 84 years since I've last seen you. How are you? Any gray hairs? You're probably full of them. I know I am. Joking aside I hope you are doing well. I miss you big brother everyday you are away. I wonder if you're warm and if they are treating you harshly. It feels like you've gone to jail or something from the texts you sent so I worry about you alot. I hope this pictures make you smile there is some of the other members too because I know it's your first time without them in a long time you must miss them. I don't have much to say my day to day hasn't changed except for not seeing you. Ah but the price of ramen has went up a dollar! A whole dollar! Isn't this the sign of the times? Ugh how will we live now? Okay. Now I really have nothing to say. You got this joon keep your head up. -Dani

He looked at the photos that he hadn't known had even been taken and smiled. Oh, he had grey hairs before the enlistment. Army had made sure to point those out. Having grey hairs before 30 was unfortunately family genetics.

Going to jail? Ha, to him it was a lot like being a trainee again. In a small room with a bunch of other guys, no privacy. A communal shower and terrible coffee. A curfew and tight schedule. It was like when he was 15 and trying to pass classes and sneak food into the dorms.

in some ways that made it easier. It was because he'd been through it, he already knew how to cope. He saw it was harder for a lot of the younger guys who had never been away from home before now. He'd lived away from his parents since he signed a contract at 15, so he had advice and he knew he could make it easier on these young kids that has never made ramen or saw a coffee pot before.

But it was really part of what turned boys into men in the military. It was teaching you to rely on yourself and your squad. It was teaching you that you couldn't run to your parents for help anymore. You had to pull up y our boot straps and be a man. Be an adult.

He had already done this and so in a way he had an edge. He had more discipline in himself. He thrived in routine and he had been steadily working out. A lot of the new recruits had never stepped foot in a gym. Therefore he found himself in a mentor position again, only this time not in BTS but just the older soldier with experiences in life helping out the younger who it was their first time away from home.

And Goddamn! Ramen up a dollar! What the hell is this world coming to? That crosses a line. A line!

[saetoru]

Rich boy reo in college sounds so cute!!! Because you're probably his first real love (and maybe even his first partner), and he would literally buy the world from you,(also, he probs doesn't have an idea how normal, healthy relationships work bc all of his sources come from like, super stereotyped and cliche media about how girls love expensive things, jewelry and money and shoes). And I picture his first real date with you is not at a fancy five star restaurant , but rather something like instant fire noodles ramen outside a conbini, so he's a little bit unsure, y'know this man has a personal chef at home cooking all kinds of extravagant food, until he actually tastes it and now he's addicted to the "broken collage student" diet. He's just so glad to experience new thing with you, even if they might seem mundane to you.

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SWEETS — MIKAGE REO.

✩ — contents ⋮ introducing to you all: college au! rich boy! reo as your boyfriend—this time in your adventures, he tries a powdered donut for the first time

✩ — note ⋮ if you’ve been around for rb! gojo, you know the drill ;) also nonnie ty for the ask it was so cute

“what is that?” he asks, unsure. you look at him like he’s grown two heads.

“it’s a powdered donut, reo,” you raise a brow, “have you never seen one?”

“who powders donuts?” he tilts his head. it’s a bit cute, the slight pout on his face as he tries to decipher your odd little snack, the crinkle of his brow as he thinks deeply. “what’s it filled with?”

“nothing. i don’t like jelly donuts.”

“jelly?” he gapes, “just what do they feed you?”

“what do they feed you?” you ask incredulously. he shrugs, thinking about it deeply like it’s something he can’t hope to list all in one go.

“whatever my pastry chef makes, i guess,” he hums, “my dad had this one come from france once, and he made these—”

“eat this,” you hand him the donut, cutting him off as you purse your lips. “you’re not normal until you do.”

“my mom says those are bad for you,” he says like some kind of know-it-all kid—you suppose in a way, he is. “she says processed foods are not good for—”

“reo,” you say with a roll of your eyes, “your mom doesn’t love you if she doesn’t want you to have a powdered donut.”

“hey,” he pouts, “that’s not true. she’s just looking out for me—”

“just a bite,” you insist, holding it out to him as he eyes it like it’s poison in your hand, “i’ll even feed you,” you tease, reaching to pinch his cheek.

he grumbles, swats your hand away as he blushes and huffs a little at your smug grin—but ultimately, he caves, leaning forward and taking a small, hesitant bite of the confectionery in your hand.

the reaction is just what you expect: he chews, then he furrows his brows, and then he looks at you incredulously. you smile at him with a knowing look on your face as he snatches the last few bites of your donut from your hand—you can’t even be mad that he’s stolen your snack.

“why did my mother never let me have these?” he whines, “i’ve been missing out my whole childhood.”

“i’m sure you were doing just fine with private pastry chefs from france, baby,” you snort, reaching to thread your fingers through his hair as his head rests on your shoulder.

“nuh uh, they’re not like these,” he holds up his (your) nearly gone donut for emphasis, “these taste like pure sugar. i love it.”

“yeah they’re great,” you chuckle, “welcome to the lower class.”

“shut up,” he huffs, shuffling closer to you as press a kiss to his forehead, “you’re not lower class to me. you’re the classiest, most elegant, most priceless—”

“even in my coffee stained sweats?”

“especially in those,” he nods, “i’d never seen such artistically placed stains before. i was mesmerized.”

“oh good,” you giggle, hearing his quiet laugh ring next to you as he looks up and gives you a soft grin. you lean in, pressing another gentle kiss to his forehead as he closes his eyes and hums.

“thanks,” he mumbles, making you raise a brow in question.

“for…?”

“for letting me experience that,” he shrugs, a bit shy as he stares down at his lap.

reo’s always been a bit out of place. he’s always been the kid with the twisty crayons and mechanical pencils that the other kids stared at jealously. he’s always worn the brands no one can even pronounce as everyone around him went shopping together. he’s always eaten freshly packed lunch with a balanced nutrition while everyone else got soda from the vending machines.

a part of you feels bad for reo, feels a small bit of sympathy for the way he never really knows what to say or what to add in a conversation he can’t really relate to. you always watch him trip over his words when people complain about insane gas prices and the way eggs do not need to be that much per dozen.

so you smile warmly, grab his hand and lace your fingers as you grin, “experience a powdered donut?” you tease, making him huff, “oh, baby, wait till you hear about cupcakes.”

“i’ve had cupcakes,” he says indignantly, turning away from you with a pout.

“not the kind with cheap sprinkles,” you hum. “you’ll love them.”

something tells him he will, that here—with his head on your shoulder and your fingers in his hair, with store brought sweets that his mother would have heart failure seeing—here he’s just a guy, a normal guy who’s in love and that’s all there is to it.

“i love you,” he says quietly.

you smile, lean down and press a kiss to his mouth as you teasingly lick off the small bit of powdered sugar on his lips. “yeah, i love you too,” you hum, “but i would love it more if you didn’t steal my snacks next time.”

i lub him :( *holds reo in one arm and satoru in the other* these are my rich and spoiled lil pumpkins :(

[wonily]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🎀﹕butterflies, butterflies!

♡ — giving enhypen butterflies

warnings : mentions of food & metaphorically passing out (ni-ki's part)

[ lily’s rambles : another repost from my old blog <3 this was one of my favorites and... i wrote it during my first period class ]

other members under the cut!

heeseung !

when heeseung put up an ad for a roommate (to split costs because he’s a broke college student :<) he did not expect a very, very cute person to see the ad. when he opened the door the day you were supposed to take a tour of the apartment, he did not expect to see a very, very cute person in front of him.

except he did :D and he forgot how to breathe. you were so cute !! and you were just smiling at him from his doorway with the biggest, kindest, brightest smile ever and he had to shake himself out of his trance to welcome you into his apartment. and that’s when he saw the steam rising and he could’ve sworn that his heart exploded.

you were holding a tray of ramen :( the same one he said he really liked on the ad he had posted. he had to stop himself from dramatically falling to his knees and clutching his heart because butterflies just exploded inside of him because wowie he thinks he just met the one, the only love of his life.

jay !

GAHH!!! you’ve broken him from the moment he laid eyes on you but he’s never going to let you know that. you were a new employee at the cute little dessert cafe he frequented and the moment he walked in, you took his breath away and replaced it with butterflies.

considering it was your first day, you didn’t know his usual coffee order so he took it as an opportunity to talk to you and when you told him it was your first day, he even asked you what your favorite dessert was !!

you shyly handed him his order and he retreated to the table that he always sat at (that was seemingly reserved just for him at this point) and his coffee tasted even better today because you had made it.

before he left, he bought the dessert that you had said was your favorite, smiled kindly, and handed it to you, now effectively leaving you flustered and, because he comes in everyday, him buying you a dessert became a tradition because he was still a little too scared to ask you out :< but it’s all worth it because the butterflies in his stomach go crazy around you.

jake !

he met you at the dog park while he was with layla :( layla was so happy to be running out and about, especially with her other friends that she had met the other times she’d come to this dog park.

but !! she spotted a new little dog shyly hiding behind someone (your) leg and immediately ran up to it and barked happily. the dog whimpered, still scared of its new surroundings and jake, seeing this, ran to tell layla to relax a little and he did, but he immediately closed his mouth after because he saw you and you were so cute :(

you giggled and assured him that it was okay and your dog would eventually warm up to layla and he just nodded because he was too scared to open his mouth, because he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from blurting out “YOU’RE CUTE”.

but he eventually started conversing with you because your dog was now besties with layla and they were practically attached to each other and then, he regained his confidence and asked you to go to the park again because layla would miss your dog :(((

sunghoon !

there’s no specific thing that you do that gives sunghoon butterflies… it’s more like your whole existence just makes his heart flutter. for example, when he first saw you outside the ice rink.

it was just a passing glance, he was just scoping out the area to make sure that he didn’t have to hide and the moment his eyes fell on you, he actually thought he was part of a kdrama where they play excessive music during an intense staring scene except he was the only one staring.

but of course, life is not a kdrama and he entered the ice skating rink. but, it turns out, he was absolutely positively wrong because his life is a kdrama !! he was just minding his own business, doing a little twirl in the air when he felt himself collide with someone and he immediately turned around to see you on the ice.

he helped you up, stammering apologies profusely and he was absolutely mortified when he realized that you were the very, very cute person he had seen outside. he was kind of frozen for a couple seconds as you assured him that you were fine and :DDD sunghoon’s back !! so what does he do? he takes on his ice prince duties and offers to buy you a hot chocolate (and when he doesn’t buy one for himself, he says it’s because he doesn’t like hot chocolate but that’s a lie !! he’s just feeling all warm and fluffy inside because you give him butterflies !!)

sunoo !

sunoo didn’t even realize he had a crush on you :< he’s always assumed that the fluttering feeling in his stomach when he saw you were simply friendly feelings because he’s always had such a bright outlook on life.

but oh, did he forget how to breathe when one day, you walked into class and gave him the brightest smile he’s ever seen. it was like fresh flowers were blooming out of his chest and butterflies were fluttering around in his heart and that was when he decided your smile was his happiness.

and from that day on, he tried his best to make you smile because the only thing that made him happier than your smile was the fact that he was the reason for your precious smile.

he literally lives for your smile :> if the two of you weren’t close before, you certainly are now because bit by bit you became friends and you, of course, have no problem with it because he’s literal sunshine !! and you smile whenever he smiles so :3 it’s a win-win for both of you– you smile and his heart goes boom boom !!

jungwon !

jungwonnie was just walking home one day from school when he felt raindrops starting to fall from the sky :( and he didn’t want to get wet so he zoomed into the nearest flower shop only to find himself face to face with the cutest person he had ever seen in his life (you, who quite coincidentally goes to his school & whom he’s had the biggest crush on for a good part of high school)

his cheeks went all pink, which is saying something because his cheeks are naturally rosy, and he stammered an apology. your smile made him so flustered and he was so scared that you’d think he was weird :( and he just zoomed right back out of there.

but then !! then !! he heard a tiny voice shouting back at him, “jungwon, jungwon, wait!!” and he turned around to see you running after him, with an umbrella over your head. you handed him the umbrella, flashed a smile, and ran back into the flower shop with your hands over your head.

jungwon just stood there stunned for the longest time before he realized he was soaked in rainwater because the umbrella you had given him was held loosely by his side. he ended up running home that day with your umbrella with the biggest smile on his face and that night, as he laid in bed, he couldn’t get your smile or your kindness or the way your hand brushed his out of his mind.

ni-ki !

it was a cold and windy day when he first felt the butterflies but it was a very welcome feeling because he felt like he was going to freeze into a popsicle while waiting in line for bungeoppang.

but when he walks up to the bungeoppang stall, he’s internally freaking out because oh my gosh !! the person working (you, a high school student in need of money) is so cute !!

his throat felt all dry when he tried to ask for one bungeoppang and when he finally did, you laughed and he nearly passed out from how pretty your laugh sounded. and then your hand brushed against his when you handed him his bungeoppang, which was bundled warmly in a napkin and he only managed to splutter a little ‘thank you!’ before practically zooming away, cheeks burning.

he came back every single day after that without a fail. he eventually got to the point of holding cute little conversations with you but it took some time because he was so shy :&lt;

he always managed to slip in a little joke in your conversations just to hear you laugh and warm happiness would bubble in his chest whenever you did. and don’t tell anyone but he was so glad you never really questioned him.

of course, you just thought he really, really liked bungeoppang and don’t get him wrong, of course he loves bungeoppang (especially now because it brought him to meet you) but he likes you so much more.

[evilminji]

Back on my DpxNaruto ideas cause there's room for SHENANIGANS~!

You ever go on a BIT of a road trip? To a Really Good Restaurant you've heard exsists waaaaay that away? And it's far... but not Unreasonably Far(TM)? You could make it a day trip! Maybe check out the surrounding area! Buy some other stuff or see the sights.

You got a long weekend.

And you heard it's REAL good.

Imagine~! If you will! Broke ass, scruffy, Built Like His Father, Feral Like His Mother, "just here for the snacks, man" type College Student type Danny! A GIANT. Perpetually reeks of engineering oils and the unplace-able yet universally familiar scent of Ectoplasm. And? Probably whatever high-end self care products Sam's mom sends her, since Tucker can't use um.

He eats like a bottomless VOID because somehow he's STILL growing. Will be for centuries. Long after his HUMAN half stops? His ghost half is gonna keep going.

Sucks, man. :/

He hungy.

But he already SPENT his monthly budget on that part he desperately needed. And cheap ramen sucks after the fifth meal in a row. And it's not like he can go fishing or anything. So what to do???

Visit... lunch lady? Maybe? He considers?

He figures "Why Not?". Makes a portal and lazily floats towards the Box-Lady Lair. But? So deep in though is he? He doesn't look where he's GOING and *gentle bonk* oop! Oh man! He's so sorry!

Some giant dude in armor with a HUGE mane of hair. The guy just laughs good naturedly, says it's fine. And turns out? They're going the same way! He's part of Lunch Lady's Cooking Club. Oh, sweet! Danny's heard she started one of those...

But wait! If he's heading over? Is the club NOW?

No, no! He's assured. The guy also watchs Lunch Box for them. He's good with kids, comes with being part of a big clan.

They get talking. Danny fascinated. Ninjas, huh? Cool. And that's when? The guy drops, with no small amount of pride, the little tidbit.... that oh by the way~ no big DEAL~☆

But WE produced some of the BEST cooks in the ENTIRE known world.

:O

Okay now he HAS to try this food. This guy is waxing poetic about it. Descriptions that make him actively drool. Mentioning how this aunt ran THIS stall and that nephew was learning at THAT restaurant. And Danny just? W... Where did you say this was?

Hell yeah! Direction? Achieved!

Danny gonna get him some FANCY BBQ! \( ^ - ^ )/

Smash cut to him making a day of it. Finding the right area. Asking around. Trading some stuff from the Speeder to a dude for not only the location body but permission to take his wallet. Guy says he can have it in return for a travel chess set and a proper grave. Nice!

So he locks up the Speeder, squeezes past the weird "Summon Realms" bubbles, dodges the SUPER cranky Shinigami, aaaaand? We're in! BBQ here we come! It's takes like? Basically nothing to find the guy's body. He's supposed to burn it, put it in an urn, and deliver it to one of some Deer clan near the BBQ shop. Along with his stuff.

Hope they don't mind ice urns.

Just? Imagine A Void. Like Vanta Black. A hole in the world in the shape of where a man SHOULD be. Where ANYTHING should be. You can see through it, the color of simple existence fighting to make your eyes overlook What Is Not. Were it 2D, you know you would be able to see it clearly, but in the presence of a third dimension?

It's Not There.

You are LOOKING at it... and everything it is, is Empty. Void. A perfect Nothing.

Not hot or cold, neither light nor dark, just... Not There. With Chakra being present in all life. Air, the soil beneath you, all of it. This is? A perfect shadow upon the world. No suppressed Chakra, no hidden bloodline trick.

It's like the Patron Spirit(s) of the Ino-Shika-Cho decided to come and visit.

Or, more accurately, the SON of one such spirit decided to sneak off and visit. He has the height, the hunger, and the gregarious nature. The perfect shadow, the black hair, and the incredible intelligence. And those blue eyes? The ability to dive into bodies and take them over? (He wanted to see if he could do it WHILE his "new friend" was doing it to someone)

Most terrifying, though? APPARENTLY his mother? Was some Uzumaki Spirit. Red hair, purple eyes, his dad fell in love with her at first ass-kicking defeat. Terrifying women and Nara's, man. Good to know it even transcends biology. Even their GAURDIAN SPIRITS fall to it.

Now the question?

What sort is THIS one? And can they, POLITELY, make it leave?

@babbling-babull @lolottes @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @the-witchhunter

[wonwooslibrary]

in other words, i love you | ksy

member: soonyoung x gn!reader genre: fluff, light angst, roommates!au, 4+1 things, dance student!soonyoung, student!reader, technically college!au but it's not mentioned word count: 2009 summary: four times you jokingly confess to soonyoung, and the one time he seriously confesses to you. warnings: swearing, an argument, a couple loving shoulder smacks bc i think they're cute, mentions of food/eating, y/n bullies soonyoung but it's all loving don't worry! author's note: i finished this after months instead of writing the wonwoo birthday thing that i'm supposed to post in like ten days lmao oops but a big shout out to @kthpurplesyou for beta reading this for me!! bee, i love u sm you've become such a good friend of mine over the past couple months !! i love all your writing and aaaa ur just amazing thank you !!! i am now on my way to work so have a wonderful day everyone & enjoy some short soonyoung fluff <3

The First. 

What is one thing that everyone wishes was free all the time? Of course, it’s food, and you were definitely someone who loved free food. So, when you saw the new ramen and boba place in the local mall was open, you were convinced. Your goal for today: get Soonyoung to pay for your lunch..

“Soonie, you love me, don’t you?” you questioned your best friend, tugging a bit on his sleeve. 

“I cannot believe you even had to ask that! Of course I do!” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders in a quick, but meaningful hug. 

“Okay so, if you love me like you say you do…” your voice droned on. “You should totally take me to the new boba shop. Please!” you held out the end of the word, begging the man.

Soonyoung looked away from you and moved his gaze to the ceiling of the store before he sighed. 

Exhaling loudly, he grabbed your hand and walked with you towards the restaurant. You quickly cheered with the hand that wasn’t in Soonyoung's. 

After arriving and ordering, you picked an empty booth to sit in as you both waited for your order number to be called.

"Thanks for paying, Soonie." 

Soonyoung smiled, his teeth showing. "You're welcome, I-" He was interrupted by the sound of their order number being called. 

Soonyoung stood up. "I'll grab them." 

“Are you sure? It might be a lot for you to carry by yourself,” you tried to stand up to help. “Let me help you.” 

Soonyoung put his hand on your right shoulder and lightly pushed you to sit down again. “It’s fine, I got it.” 

Coming back to the table from the second (and last) trip to get their food, Soonyoung sat back down across from you, making quick work of taking his wooden chopsticks apart. 

Immediately picking up your boba, you began swinging your legs a bit before speaking with a bright smile. 

"Soonieee!" 

Lifting his head up from his rice to look at you, Soonyoung smiled brightly. "Yeah?" 

"I love you," you took another sip of your tea. "And boba. I think I love boba more though." 

Soonyoung laughed. "I'm starting to think that you like the boba more than my friendship."

The Second. 

“Hey Y/N, do you want to do something today?” 

Looking up from your novel, you focused your gaze on Soonyoung. “It depends. Where do you want to go?” 

“They opened a new arcade down the street from that bookstore you really like. I wanted to check it out sometime, so I was just thinking that you could  join me.” 

You smiled. “Of course I’ll go with you Soon! Give me like ten minutes to get ready?” You gestured to the pajamas that you were currently lounging in. 

“Of course! I’m so excited!” Soonyoung sprinted off back to his room, most likely preparing the most ridiculous outfit imaginable. 

You shook your head and got up from the couch after placing the receipt-bookmark on the page before closing the novel. 

After getting dressed and grabbing a quick snack from the kitchen, you sat and waited patiently for Soonyoung, who sprinted down the stairs and stumbled about half way through, tripping a bit and catching himself on the wall. 

Of course, as one does when their best friend almost faceplants, you laugh. “Good going. You should do that again so I can record it.” 

Soonyoung, peeling himself from the wall, gave you an exasperated look. “Ha ha ha,” he walked into the kitchen. “Very funny.” 

You looked up at him. “You’re right. It was.” 

Soonyoung smacked your shoulder lightly before grabbing his keys off the counter. “You ready to go?” 

“Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go.” 

About twenty minutes later, you learned that you should never agree to going to an arcade with Soonyoung. You watched from the sidelines, sweating, as he absolutely demolished the DDR machine he found in the corner of the small inner-city arcade. 

Winning another round (and yet again breaking the highest score), Soonyoung got off the arrow-covered platform and walked to where you were sitting. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to challenge me again? I can go easy on you!” Soonyoung smiled, his gums showing. 

Laughing loudly, you argued with the man. “If you think I’m getting back on that,” you looked at the platform in disgust. “Thing, you’re absolutely insane. I love you so damn much Soonyoung, but you can’t pay me to get back on that.” 

Soonyoung scoffed. “It’s not that hard!”  “I’m sure you don’t think it is!”

The Third. 

The first thing you noticed after the countless minutes of sitting in this brightly lit room was that it was hot. You were leaning against the wall, phone on a tripod focused on Soonyoung’s movements in the wall-length mirror. 

“Soonyoung!” you whined. Across the large room, Soonyoung looked up from the ground, his thoughts interrupted. 

“Yeah?” 

“Is there no air conditioning here? Like come on, it’s a dance practice room! Do they expect their dancers to die from heat every day?” 

Soonyoung smiled, “They’re working on fixing it right now. Something broke somewhere in the building so now the whole floor is not getting AC.” 

“That’s awful. Terrible. A crime to humanity!”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I'm here every day. Though, they said it should be done within the next couple of days, so don’t worry about it.” 

Soonyoung begins the music again, and he begins dancing his routine, movements sharp and well crafted. But, as Soonyoung dances, the temperature of the room increases, and there is only so much a couple of revolving fans can do. 

When Soonyoung is done dancing, he turns to face you. “How was that?” 

You nodded and clapped. “It was amazing! Though, I’m dying. You’re lucky I love you, otherwise I would have left an hour ago.” 

Soonyoung smiled. “But you like the dance? I’ve been working on it for a while and I really just want to be done with it.” 

“Yeah! It’s amazing. You know that every dance you do is going to be perfect by the end of it! You’re incredibly talented!” 

“Thanks, Y/N. Let’s go back before you melt into a puddle that I have to mop up off the floor.” 

“We both know if that happened, you’d be making Chan mop the floor. There’s no way you’d do it yourself.”

The Fourth. 

The movie that was playing at full volume on Soonyoung’s TV was not your first choice, and you made that extremely clear to Soonyoung as you both sat next to each other on the couch for your weekly movie night. 

“I just don’t understand why you’d want to watch a horror movie when you know that you’re going to be more scared than the characters on the damn TV!” you argued to your best friend. 

“Oh, come on you scaredy cat! It’s not going to be too bad! Jihoon said this one wasn’t that bad!” 

Wrapping yourself in the blanket Soonyoung kept on the couch, you refuted the statement. “There is a 99 percent chance that Jihoon was saying that just to fuck with you in hopes you get so scared you call him crying so he can laugh at you.” 

Soonyoung thought about your statement for a second before wrapping his arm around you. “Okay, while you do have a point there,” he began, “I don’t think Jihoon hates me that much!” 

“While he might not hate you that much, he doesn’t love you like I do---of course he’d pull a useless prank on you like that.” Once the words came out of your mouth, you could feel your heart start beating faster at the words you just said. It feels…different, somehow. 

“Of course! He can’t love me nearly as much as you do!” Soonyoung yays, hugging you and rubbing his hair into your cheek.

Grimacing, you complain, “Okay, okay, please get your greasy hair off of my face.” Placing one of your hands on Soonyoung’s hairline, you push him away. 

Soonyoung lets go of the hug and leans to the other direction, pouting. “Y/N doesn’t love me anymore!”

The One. 

“Soonyoung! Did you seriously?” you mutter to yourself. After a long day in classes and stressing about the endless amount of assignments you have to do, the last thing you wanted was to come home to the shared apartment and see piles of dirty dishes by the sink. Of course, it wasn’t only the dishes that upset you: the living room was a mess of snack wrappers and empty water bottles and the TV was still on, the sleep screen lighting up the living room. The couch and coffee table were both pushed out of the way to create Soonyoung’s mini dance studio in the living room. 

“Kwon Soonyoung! Where are you?” you yelled up the stairs. 

Soonyoung peeked his head out of his bedroom door to see you halfway up the stairs. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Did you forget to do something?” Soonyoung tilted his head, thinking. 

“I don’t think I forgot to do anything? Why?”

“The sink is filled with dishes! Didn’t you say you were going to stop doing that? And the living room is a mess! None of the furniture is put back and there are wrappers everywhere! You promised that you wouldn’t leave stuff around all the time!” you angrily tell your best friend off. 

“I’m sorry! I forgot about it, I’ll go clean everything right now!” Soonyoung came out of his room and headed towards the stairs. 

“No, it's fine. I got it, just-” you sighed heavily. “Actually remember to do your chores next time, and put the living room back together.” With that, you walked back down the stairs to the kitchen, but Soonyoung was hot on your tail. 

“It’s not fine! The dishes were my chore and it’s my mess in the living room, just- move and I’ll do it.” Soonyoung began cleaning the dishes out of the sink in order to fill it with water. 

You tilted your head down to the floor, eyes watering. The angry reaction you had was finally hitting you, making you feel terrible about yelling at your best friend. 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, Soon.” You wiped a tear off your face. “I really d-didn’t mean to. I've just had an awful day and I didn’t think about what I was doing or saying.” 

Soonyoung turned to face you, hands covered in suds. “Y/N, it’s fine. Please don’t cry,” he wiped his hands on the closest towel to him before wrapping his hands around your upper arms and making eye contact. 

“I promise everything is fine -- you were right to yell at me, because I did promise you I would stop doing these things. I love you, Y/N, more than anything, and that doesn’t stop just because you told me off for something.” 

Your eyes widened as Soonyoung kept talking. This action led Soonyoung to make a similar face, finally realizing what he said. 

“You…love me? That much?” you questioned in a meek voice, still wide-eyed. 

Soonyoung’s cheeks turned red and he looked away before whispering a small, “Yeah, I do.” 

When he finally looked back at you, he smiled. “Yeah,” he spoke louder. “I didn’t mean to say it in this context,” He looked around quickly. “But I guess now is better than never.” 

The dried tears on your cheeks begin to stiffen, but it doesn’t stop you from smiling as widely as physically possible. “I love you too, Soonie.” 

You wrapped your arms around your best friend newfound lover, tightly squeezing. Of course, Soonyoung hugged you back. 

You both quickly pulled apart when two voices scared you. 

“Soonyoung? Are you guys done making out in the middle of the kitchen?” 

“Hi, Y/N!” 

Turning around, you saw Soonyoung’s friends, Seungkwan and Seokmin. 

“Hi guys,” you began. “I guess that explains the living room being a mess?” you ask Soonyoung. 

He nods, laughing a bit. “Yeah.”

You smile. Of course. 

[puer-aurea]

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Sick/Injury for Mounders "You've had worse. You'll live." College Life AU CW: Mentions of alcohol/hangover

Bdubs had the worst hangover of his life. And, to make it worse, he got the flu from his roommate, Joel. In an attempt to help, Joel texted their mounders group chat to bring some stuff for him. It took a lot of snot filled begging, but Bdubs convinced him to not mention the hangover so Pearl wouldn't scold him. "If you hadn't let Scar convince you to go to that party, you wouldn't be hungover right now." Joel said from his spot by Bdubs' bedroom door. "I KNOW!!" Bdubs groaned and rolled over so he didn't have to face him. "He didn't even have to convince you, did he?" "NO! He asked one time and said Impulse was going too so I agreed! I didn't even try to say no. Gah, that Scar. He's too charismatic." "You don't seem to think very highly of your brother." "No, I do! It's just- every time I go to a party with him, I get the worst hang over. He's bad luck!" "You just can't handle your alcohol." A feminine voice came from outside the door. "Pearl! You weren't supposed to knoooow." Bdubs groaned agained. "Hey Pearl." Joel greeted her after opening Bdubs' bedroom door for her to come in. "Hi Joel, Hi Bdubs. Mumbo's coming with some stuff that should help. If we had known you were hungover too, he could've brought Tylenol." Pearl walked over to the bed to check Bdubs' forehead. "He'll probably bring some anyway. You know how he is about health." Joel said right as there was a knock at the door. "I got it." He went to the dorm door and opened it to reveal their mustached friend, though a mask was covering his lower face. "Hey Mumbo, how many times do we have to tell you you don't have to knock?" He opened the door fully to let him in. "I'm being polite! I brought a lot of stuff that I thought could be useful." Mumbo showed the grocery bags of stuff in his hand. They walked down to Bdubs' room and waited as Pearl finished lecturing him about drinking too much. "How do you feel, BdoubleO?" Mumbo stayed just outside the door. "AWFUL! I feel dead!" "You've had worse. You'll live." Pearl told him as she looked through the bags of stuff Mumbo brought. She grabbed the Tylenol (Joel was right, of course Mumbo would bring some) and poured two in her hand before giving them to Bdubs. He took them with the cup of water on his nightstand and laid back down with a groan. "This sucks." "I think you two should put a mask on, I brought extra." Mumbo held out a pack of facemasks for Joel and Pearl. "Yeah, why not." Joel took one while Pearl declined. "What foods did you bring?" She asked. "Oh, yes, I'm so hungry." Bdubs made a motion of rubbing his stomach. "Some different soups, ramen, rice. Easy things, basically." Mumbo answered. "Well, Bdubs, what sounds good?" Pearl turned her attention back to him. "Chicken ramen?" "I brought that, yeah. I'll go make it." Mumbo left Pearl and Joel to keep Bdubs company. Joel had to help Bdubs eat a bit but he was mostly fine on his own. With his friends taking good care of him, it only took a couple days before he was feeling better. But, they wouldn't get a rest because a couple days after that, Pearl would tell the groupchat that she was sick now (to which Mumbo said she should've used a mask).

[halliescomut]

No Subs watch of My Personal Weatherman Ep 5

There will likely be spoilers but not about any of the dialogue because I don't understand what's being said.

-Talking to....editor I guess?? Not good news 😟😟😟

-Opening credits. God these men are so pretty!!!!

-Being depressed on your living room floor- relatable.

-Being depressed on the floor in front of your washing machine- slightly less relatable.

-The lighting in this scene is gorgeous though. Reminds me of the aquarium.

-Daddy's home!!! I mean....nah that's kinda what I meant. 😁

-As much as he adores Yoh, I know this silence is bothering him. Were Segasaki a lesser man he would get (visibly) frustrated, but he stays very gentle. 🥺🥺

-Now Daddy's cooking .... the feelings. The hand close ups. 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 (Sometimes I worry I'm a little too honest on this site.)

-Ooooohhhh. Yummy 😋😋😋

-Anyone else feel like Yoh was like a little bit pissed that Segasaki's food is so good? 🤣 That look just felt a little bit like "Goddammit! You got to be good at this too?!"

-Ooohhhh what did Segasaki say to get that response?? (Edit after continuing- I'm going to assume he was 'asking' Yoh about taking a bath.)

-That smirk 😏😏😏😏

-Segasaki's hand on Yoh's cheek. *Swoon* That deserves its own compilation I think.

-Now we're in the tub 🛀 and Segasaki wants to know why Yoh is so sad. (Remember these are guesses, I can't understand unless it's one of about 15 Japanese words I know...or their names.)

-Yes more affection via hair drying!!! One of my favorite things!!! (Surprised it's not a Dyson blow dryer. I keep seeing them in so many shows, even ones where characters are poor and it makes no sense.)

-We've never seen Segasaki's room have we??

-Yoh instigating kisses 🤭🤭🤭🤭 And more than just kisses??🫣🫣🫣~~~Okay I did have to at least Google translate that interaction, because the vibes were very odd to me. Totally makes sense with the internal monologue Yoh had going. He wants to forget....and that would help him forget. But Segasaki knows what his game is and he's not going to let him hide, literally and metaphorically.

-Yoh the sad little homemaker is depressing me.

-There's something so weird to me about drying a shirt on a hanger. I live in a clothesline household, & line dry clothes all the time, but this is just odd to me. It arguably makes more sense, since clothespins will mess up your clothes sometimes, it's just a bit jarring.

-That is why we have clothespins.

-Yummy ramen. I had that for lunch yesterday. Homemade is yummy, but instant hits different sometimes.

-I think I hate the newscaster lady just bc Yoh does 🤣. (sub solidarity)

-Man-san...Yes I still adore her. Her fashion is a VIBE!! Also her eyebrows are so dynamic. I love it.

-OMG she drew them!!! That's so cute!!!

-IDK what she said, but I imagine it's something along the lines of "See, you make a perfect couple."

-Yoh is so cute. There's a plan for something, though I don't know what?

-They put Segasaki in all of these softly cuddly sweaters at home and I just don't know how anyone is supposed to resist cuddling him.... ykwim?

-I don't know what this conversation is about, but it feels a lot like Segasaki is saying "I can tell when you're lying to me my guy." 😬😬😬

-Did this man just bite him???🤣🤣Well I certainly saw that one, bite confirmed, and it was not a gentle nibble.

-The way Segasaki rubs his head on Yoh like a cat. 🥺😭

-Ope.....well that ended... violently.

-I have mixed feelings about the keychain 🫤 (attempting to minimize spoilers). I understand it, & based on the dynamic of the relationship, I'm okay with it, but I fear it may cause more trouble in the future....😬

-Segasaki looks so sad. 😢😢😢

-Well the preview for next ep includes more Man-san and Mr. Man-san, which I like. According to the Twitters, we're getting complete backstory of the college stuff, which looks very interesting. Also it looks like next ep. will be two weeks away instead of one 😩😩😩😩

[bignfatpookies]

this is a story... about you. pt. 1

you were always a thin girl. Weren't you? you grew up with parents who wanted you to stay thin your entire life. so they dictated everything. they made your meals, scheduled your workouts, and dictated your friends. you were already mindless, and dependent on someone else to do things for you, weren't you? and they didn't properly prepare you to do those things alone.

and then you went to college. and lucky you... I was your roommate. Of course, I agreed to help you with meal plans, and your workout routines... so you wouldn't have to worry about anything except for graduating. I thought you needed... a little more meat on your bones.

and so... you didn't know I was feeding you... so much more. sure, your stomach feeling tight after a meal was a new feeling... but you didn't think much of it. in a passing thought, you did wonder if this was a normal amount of food to be eating... but you shrugged it off. you were already exactly how I wanted you to be. letting me do the thinking for you.

so you ate 4 meals a day. and thought nothing of it. one day I tried to push the limits of how much I could get you to eat. so for breakfast, you had scrambled eggs, 3 slices of toast, two doughnuts, and a large serving of biscuits and gravy. and you gobbled it up so fast.. telling me all about how you had never had a doughnut before. and how good my cooking was compared to your parents.

lunch was Chinese food. I ordered chicken fried rice, orange chicken, egg rolls, buttery rolls, and crab rangoons. all of this food was supposed to be shared between me and you. but you got to it before I could get any... and you ate it all, without a thought. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to relieve myself.

mid-afternoon "snack" as you called it, but was really just a mid-afternoon meal. it was Ramen. Of course, these meals were a bit smaller, to keep you thinking they were just snacks. so you had a small plate of dumplings and some top ramen.

Dinner was Pizza. normally, I would give you around 3 or 4 slices.. but today I pushed it a little. I gave you almost half of the pizza and 4 garlic breadsticks. and watched you scarf it all down. and for dessert, I let you wash it all down with a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. god, you were so stuffed... I watched your already tight-fitting shirt hug your bloated gut, as you burped and groaned, slowly falling into a food coma on the couch.

and this is only the beginning, sweetheart. keep your eye out for Pt. 2 :)

[parkjaysprada]

𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 ▸ PARK JONGSEONG

013 ... i know.

Sunoo and Jungwon arrived at Luna’s studio apartment past five in the afternoon bearing foods.

Rabokki. Ramen and tteokbokki.

It was suggested by Sunoo to buy rabokki since it is one of Luna’s favorite foods. And of course, Jungwon did not complain. Sunoo’s a friend of Luna’s so why bother? Obviously, he knows her more.

As they arrived at Luna’s place, Jungwon never felt out of place. Luna’s too welcoming and heart-warming towards him to feel indifferent. Her place is pretty and a perfect size for a college student living alone.

“Thank you for the food, guys, I really appreciate it.” Luna spoke, smiling from ear to ear. The three of them is currently in the dining/study table enjoying their food.

“Hey! You told me you didn’t prepare for anything!”

Jungwon giggles at Sunoo’s remark while Luna ignored him, focusing on her food. “Jungwon! It is nice to meet you, finally!” Luna chuckled, putting her bowl of rabokki in the center table, “This is the first time Sunoo introduces a friend from his dance team, and also Riki.” She mentioned.

The eldest in the room flashes a smile, while her thoughts were asking why did Sunoo and Riki never introduces their friend group in their co-members in their dance team. Was it because of her one-sided beef with Jay?

Jungwon’s lips curled into a smile glancing at the man beside him then back to Luna, “Really? You’ve never met someone from our dance team—except Sunoo and Riki?” His eyes widened in pure of surprised?”

“Yep. I don’t know what’s Yeonjun’s deal not introducing his friend to me, to be honest. There were times the team would visit our house but I never interacted with any of them because Yeonjun used to tell me to lock myself in my room. I guess he’s afraid of his friends hitting on me but then, we see each other at school, so there is no point with what he is doing anyway.”

Luna doesn’t know if Yeonjun is aware but, there is this one tall pale guy asked her out once and she didn’t reply. She feels bad at first, but then she saw the same man approaching other girls at school so, she never bothered to talk to him again after that incident.

Their chat continued for a few hours. Their topic shifted from Yeonjun, to school activities, to getting to know each other—especially Jungwon to Luna and vice versa—then from being all serious topics to silly ones. The three of them wasn’t aware that the sun has already set and Jungwon hasn’t mention anything about the one thing he was supposed to tell Luna. Like, the sole reason he indirectly urged Sunoo to visit Luna and for him to accompany him.

Jungwon insisted on cleaning up their mess from eating the rabokki and the macaroni and cheese Luna prepared for them. It was surely one of the best mac and cheese he had in his whole life—so close to Jay’s version on his list. And that is lot for him since Jay’s a good cook.

As Jungwon is in the kitchen sink, washing the dishes, Sunoo was cleaning up the table while Luna is living like a princess, watching her juniors taking good care of her. ‘Their future partners must be so lucky to have them’ she thought.

“Noona?” Jungwon calls out Luna while Sunoo’s already done from cleaning, sitting across the table. “There is something I would like to tell you.” He stated, before wiping his wet hands on a cloth, then he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sat at the vacant chair between Sunoo and Luna.

Jungwon opens his Twitter application and search for the username of the alleged Luna hater then he passes his phone to her, “I saw this yesterday while I was scrolling on Twitter. I just feel like you need to know about this, because your name is in it…” Sunoo stands up from his seat to peak at what Jungwon was talking about. It was a private twitter account with a mean user with a Jungwon icon.

Luna’s cold sweat drips on her back, looking at her private Twitter account. Now, she is regrets using Jungwon’s face. How will she tell the poor kid that no one is hating on her and that is her private dump account?

“You look cute here though.”

“Thank you but, I’m telling you, that isn’t mine.”

“I know,”

Luna flashes a smile, giving back the phone to the rightful owner as Sunoo sat back on his seat, while she arises from her seat, took laptop on the coffee table, opening it and her Twitter account flashed on the screen. She turns her laptop, facing the two young lad with a pursed lip.

“Edit profile…? Why does it say...”

“This account is yours?!”

TAGLIST: @urfaveuserlana

[ace-angel-judas]

Ramen

Pairing: Jungkook/Arabella ft Yoongi and Estelle

Series: BTS Girlfriends

Genre: FLUFF

Synopsis: Jungkook and Arabella go on their second date.. to Japan.

Estelle furrowed her brows together as she looked at Jungkook, who had sat down next to her with an innocent look on his face. Even Yoongi was suspicious, leaning forward and looking at the maknae.

“Why are you sitting next to my wife?” Yoongi asked.

“You’re not even married yet,” Jungkook stated, “Estelle, hello, I have a question,”

Yoongi glared at the maknae while Estelle nodded gently, “What is it?”

“What’s Belle’s favorite food?”

Eyebrows raised, Estelle stared at him, “Jungkook, Grace will kill you before you get a chance,”

“We’ve already been on a date,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh..,” Estelle mumbled, “Well, she likes ramen, she always asks Grace to take her for ramen whenever they go out to eat,”

“Okay.., does Belle have a passport?”

Giggling softly, Arabella tapped her feet on the floor as they sat in the ramen shop. There were some okay places in America but nothing could be better than actual Japanese ramen.

Jungkook watched her, smiling to himself as she watched Arabella look around in awe.

“I feel like I’m going to get in trouble,” Arabella laughed.

“Why?” He asked.

“We just suddenly came to Japan?” Arabella explained, “I’ve never just left and not told anyone where I’m going,”

Jungkook laughed, “You’re an adult, they can’t do anything,”

Arabella nodded, he did have a point. She was an adult, she could do anything as long as it was within the law.

“Okay but why Japan?” Arabella asked, “Do you take all the girls you date to Japan?”

He shook his head, “Actually, I don’t usually go anywhere without one of the other members, this is new to me too,”

A soft look appeared on her face, “That’s really sweet..,”

“So, do you go with Grace everywhere?” Jungkook asked, “You two seem really close,”

“I guess?” Arabella answered, “I mean, since coming to Korea, yeah but, I suppose I was always closest to my dad,”

“Your dad?”

Arabella nodded, a distant look on her face, “But I don’t where we stand now, he sent me to Korea because I didn’t get into college,”

“Asshole,” Jungkook stated, “What, why would he do that?”

“I don’t know,” Arabella shrugged, “I’m sure he meant well or something, he’s not an easy person to read,”

“Yeah, I don’t like him,” Jungkook pursed his lips.

“You haven’t met him,”

“I’ve made up my mind,”

She blew a raspberry at him and scrunched her nose, something Jungkook couldn’t but find utterly adorable. Even as her eyes lit up when the food was placed in front of them, Jungkook just stared at her.

“It smells so good,” Arabella whispered, “I almost don’t want to eat it,” 

Before he could respond, Arabella was already shoving a chop stick full of noodles into her mouth, cheeks puffed out at the fullneess. He laughed again, picking up his own chopsticks.

“Most girls are scared to eat during dates because it doesn’t make them look pretty,” Jungkook stated.

Arabella rolled her eyes, “Food is food, everyone eats it, no man or woman will stop me from enjoying a meal,”

The words had Jungkook grinning. What wasn’t to love about this woman?

[minamoto-misaki]

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒✈Profile

Misaki is a Chinese soloist under JYP and YG and a member of the South Korean Co-Ed group GOT7. She made her solo debut with an album called "Rise to Stardom" on July 20, 2016.

Misaki Fandom Name: Faes and Fairies

Misaki Fandom Color: —

Minato Misaki Official Media:

Instagram: @book_misaki

Twitter:@misakiofficial and @misakispeaks

YouTube: Misaki Minamoto

Facebook: Minamoto_Misaki

TikTok: bored_misaki

Stage Name: Misaki

English Name: Ophelia Raven

Birth Name: Ren Manyin (任满银)

Korean Name: Hyun Ae-ra (현애라)

Birthday: July 20, 2000

Zodiac sign: Cancer

Chinese zodiac sign:

Height: 175 cm (5'8".9)

Weight: 40 kg (88 lbs)

Blood type: O

MBTI type: INFP

Specialty: Acrobats and ballet

Favorite Food: Ramen

Hobbies: Listening to music while reading, watching anime, baking, journaling, knitting and crochet.

Misaki Facts:

She was born in Mentougou District, Beijing but grew up in Sha Tin District, Hong Kong, China.

Family: One brother and considers Wang's family her own.

Her father passed away when she was 5, her mother passed away when she was 1 and her elder brother passed away when she was 15. Currently, the only living blood-related family member is her second brother who is 5 years older than her.

She is studying at the University of Toronto.

Her personality: Serious, shy, introverted, and passionate.

She is the most introverted and disciplined in Got7.

She was in the cheerleading, acrobatics, and ballet teams of her school and college. She still attends college competitions.

Misaki understands Thai, and French, and can read Roman, and Latin but can't speak these.

She is fluent in Mandarin, Shanghainese, Cantonese, English, Japanese, German, Spanish, and Korean.

Her favorite color is black.

She likes to dress in dark clothes.

She prefers the clothes which do not reveal her skin.

She wears old books and fresh parchment perfume.

Misaki is an atheist but is knowledgeable about all the religions.

She is the daughter of the clan leader and handles the Chinese side of the clan.

Misaki has arachnophobia, androphobia (fear of men), agoraphobia (fear of crowds), and claustrophobia.

Misaki is currently dealing with insomnia, social anxiety issues, and depression.

She is close with the Thai group due to Bambam and 97' liners due to Yugyeom and Bambam.

She is also close to Mamamoo, Shinee, Exo-china line, Wayv, Straykids, Yeonjun (TXT), Wooyoung and Yeosang from Ateez, Jisung and Chenle from NCT.

She knows sword fighting.

She has a Chinese and global license and owns 3 cars.

Misaki owns 2 cafes in Canada,1 ice cream parlor, and 2 restaurants in China.

She lives alone with 3 dogs and 2 cats.

She is half-Chinese and half-Japanese but is supposed to be called full-Chinese due to clan rules.

She prefers keeping her personal life and work life different and apart from each other.

[lushlagoon]

091424

in bed listening to the same music i did during covid, samia and indigo de Souza and haley blais and Phoebe. I can close my eyes and pretended it's covid. im in my kitchen baking and listening to samias fit n full, I am a senior in high school, im driving to the salad place in cool springs or the otaku ramen in west Nashville to pick up food and just get out of the house with my dad, it is winter. I think I will go look at pictures of that now.

ive done a pretty good job of documenting a lot of my life. in high school I had a few apps of diaries and video diaries, first couple years of college I had a sporadic diary and committed to constantly posting on my finsta story, now I have this page. im not ready to look back at things yet. I can't handle it. but there's lots to look back at.

I remember the night my grandma fell during covid, it was scary and ambulances came to the house. I saw her being wheeled off and was worried that was the last time I would see her. I cried in my parents room trying to hold my dog back but she jumped out of my arms, I could never do anything right like anyone else.

its weird that for years my grandmas health was so bad. now shes fine, and my grandpa is the sick one. hes kind of there in his head, hes kind of not. shes risen to the occasion to be there for him, I wish I didnt have covid right now and could spend time with them. im trapped in my room but its ok, music is good and I like typing, its raining and its saturday. its only 11am somehow, im jet lagged and sick so my sleep is both fucked and perfect.

saturday means nothing to me. I am graduated and unemployed as of 2 days ago. I just got my final grades back for all of college. I will have my diploma soon. my dad cried when I was in line to graduate. he couldn't talk. I love him so much, he tried to book a restaurant while we were in Paris that inspired ratatouille but it was raining and we were supposed to sit on a patio. hes way cooler than me. ive been applying to jobs but its tiring and ive been getting nothing good in return.

I used to be annoyed by a lot of my friends. now im not. I think I might be the annoying one. it's better to be the annoying one than be annoyed, but It feels like middle school in my head again sometimes. im so quiet I think, how could I be annoying.

about a month before covid hit, I went to a king princess concert with a few of my friends and my future girlfriend. I had a huge crush on her and that concert felt magical, I had so much fun. my room was set up differently, with my bed against the wall. the room felt bigger. I remember thinking "this makes me so happy, I need to just go to as many concerts as I can". I had had my license for a month, drove my blue bmw, and was trying to get a first job. When covid first hit, I decorated my room for all my friends to come over when the virus passed. I put up photos of my friends on my wall. nobody ever came over, and I think still only like 2 friends have entered this room since covid ended. except for my 18th birthday, that was so much fun. why do we never have fun any more? it feels like my friends are settling down already, getting boring. if I think about it too much it makes me sad, all the photos of my friends on my wall for months but nobody ever saw them.

my dad said the other day 18 is far from 21. I said no it's not, because in my head im still close to 18. but im not, it's not close.

I waited until I was 21 to go to bars and didnt get a fake, so maybe I will wait until my frontal lobe develops to try mushrooms.

i always get covid at weird times, like right before im supposed to go to San Diego. I got it right before my freshman year and had to come at normal time instead of early, I felt so behind when I got there. now im getting it before what was supposed to be my 4th year. I think if everything goes to plan I won't be too sad that Im not having a 4th year.

I was looking around my room at the sign brittani made almost 3 years ago, welcome home andie. I will never be a freshman again. last night I freaked out about that but this morning I can see everything more clearly. everybody has their own experience, I had to grow out of my shell in my own time.

I dont think im good with kids and I wish I was. Im excited for Christmas as long as my nephew doesnt cry when I get him a gift.

I told my girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship that I didnt want her to be friends with one of my friends. I get jealous, like thats my friend dont take them. she didn't understand and now theyre on a trip together. I dont think it's fair that if we break up wed have to share that friend when I stated I didnt want that. and it wasnt like I could stop the friendship, they do fun things together and it was good for my friend.

ive never believed in marriage. I dont wanna talk about it more. but literally never since I was a kid have I thought I would get married. now I understand I will probably have to, but im still unsure that I want to.

im jealous of my girlfriend and her whole music thing. the parts im jealous of, she has something to document, and something for her parents to be proud of. she has a constant outlet for creativity and she has time for it. im jealous she doesnt have to work, but im out of state so, I have to compensate for the massive bills somehow. I need to apply to jobs, and she doesnt like when I talk about it because it makes her stressed. she will be fine, her familys from California.

I am already feeling nostalgic for music from less than 6 months ago. adrianne lenkers new album makes my heart ache, makes me think about the trip to norcal. it was so beautiful. I think I will have to move back to Tennessee soon, and I havent even technically left.

anything by adrianne came on and I started crying, not a sad cry but an emotional cry and it felt good. my dad brought me a cup of green tea in my favorite mug with the painting from ferris beullers day off on it, I havent really dranken green tea since high school when I was trying to lose weight. my mom just got back from a business trip. everything Is right.

I heard adrianne for the first time from Charlie freshman year. I came back to Nashville and got back together with my ex girlfriend and listened to the music with her an entire night one time. im not sure who the song reminds me of, I think more Charlie. its so serendipitous that me and my roommates ended up together.

one of my friends said they thought I was the type of person to not keep in touch with friends after I move. that hurt my feelings but now I almost think that was a dream.

[cloudsthruthewindow]

Today was bad. It didn’t start that way, work was actually nice. Somehow the nice days always feel worse though. They’re so out of place. My apartment is filled with flies. It’s the peak of summer and I don’t have AC, and i don’t have the energy to clean all the food waste. I can’t remember the last time I took my trash out. There’s no groceries in my fridge, all i have is expired chocolate milk and some ramen. I gambled away 175 dollars today, more than i spend on groceries in a month. I can’t really bring myself to buy food anymore. It doesn’t feel worth it. I just eat it, and it goes away, and in right back where i started. Atleast gambling brings me joy sometimes, food just feels like a chore. I didn’t have any joy today though. I felt so stupid after. I know better. Im supposed to be saving money, im reapplying to college and my laptop is still broken. I need to get it fixed or maybe even replaced. It just stopped working one day, it wasn’t even my fault. I wish it had been my fault so I had someone to blame. The application deadline for school is in two hours. I don’t have any of my shit together, i need to mail back to my high school for my transcript. Maybe it’s not a good look to already be asking for extensions on assignments lol. My dad is going to ask why i missed this application deadline, and the only honest answer is that I didn’t try hard enough. I’m sorry dad, you didn’t raise a winner. It’s not your fault im broken.

I haven’t smoked weed in five days. Its felt like so much longer, but i got one of those apps that counts how long ive been free from it, and yeah. Five. Fucking nothing. I smoked every day for five years. How can i be proud of five days without it. Plus im vaping again, whatever. It’s not that serious. Maybe my problems arent so bad. Maybe a dude who smokes weed and vapes and gambles all day is a cool dude. I don’t feel fucking cool. I feel like im drowning. Life feels so paper thin

[suicide-and-other-comforts]

I have a weird relationship with my mom. I used to think she was the most beautiful person in the world and wanted to be just like her, but I don’t wanna be anything close to that anymore. She was a good mom until my dad started doing his fuck shit. I cry when people yell now because of both of them, but mainly her. I felt so unloved and unwanted as a child. I remember when she was in the hospital for months and I was living with my grandma and my aunt back and forth. I felt like I didn’t have parents anymore, I barely saw either of them. I went weeks without seeing either of them. I remember seeing my mom so frail and sickly, it was one of the scariest times of my life. I remember when my dad died like the back of my hand, any sense of innocence I had left was gone after that. You don’t ever recover from watching someone die in front of you, especially a parent. I was so young, no 11 year old should have to see that. I remember the weeks and months after that. No food in the house, no heat, no electricity, no hot water, no love, no support. I remember her yelling at the top of her lungs every day over things that didn’t matter in the long run. I lost my father, my only father, does a dirty dish really matter in the grand scheme of things? I remember being beat every day and her turning a blind eye to it. I remember skipping meals and sleeping when I was hungry instead. I remember being constantly sick from being in the cold too much. I remember not having enough money for pads or socks. I remember eating toast and ramen every day. I remember her telling me that I was turning into a person she didn’t like, at 10 years old. Being around her didn’t feel like walking on eggshells, it felt like walking on thumbtacks. I remember locking myself in my room and pushing all my furniture in front of my door to escape the abuse. I remember her telling me to deal with my problems myself. I remember getting my hair pulled, being choked, being punched and having things thrown at me for just defending myself. I remember being so lonely. Lonely to the point where I ended up in multiple abusive relationships just to feel something and to escape her. She put all her attention into the men she was seeing, but would never admit it. I was being raped and abused every night while she was blissfully asleep in the next room. I went to her room late at night one time when I was having a panic attack, and she told me to go to sleep and leave her alone. She told me no man would want to see my body after what I done to it and that I was useless. She told me she doesn’t like me as a person. Whenever I begged her for help, I just got punished instead. Then, got more punishment for the ways I figured out how to survive. I was only trying to get through the day, i swear. She was never there for me, but will take it to the grave that she did everything for me. I was an unwanted child, I was excess. I was always overlooked and undervalued. Nothing I did was good enough and I’m a failure for not doing more. The doctors recommended that she get an abortion when she was pregnant with me because I wasn’t supposed to be carried nearly as far as she carried me for, and I wish she just did it. She gave birth to a child she didn’t want and she never let me forget it. She never outwardly told me that, but the way I was constantly ignored said enough. The only time I got attention was from the multiple times she caught me cutting myself and the times I tried killing myself. Instead of comforting me and talking to me, she told me I was stupid and selfish and threw me into therapy. I skipped a lot of school, I did a lot of drugs, and I destroyed my body multiple times and she still couldn’t see that all I needed was my mother. She just cared about the next paycheck and her at the time boyfriend. I knew she didn’t really care about my well being when she pressured me to drop out of college to work more to pay the bills. I never had a chance. I’m tired of constantly trying to scratch my way to the surface with no help. I lost both parents the day my father died.

[gallowsheart]

bennettjrbrody​:

.

“Oh, whatever. That’s not sappy,” Ben scoffed. He was pretty sure he could try harder and do worse.

Actually, no he wasn’t. And he wasn’t going to argue that he could and start a whole thing, either.

Besides, she redirected his attention. “It’s both, but that just probably makes it more genius. It’s also really impossible to fuck up, and it isn’t something I feed my kid and then feel bad about myself for.” He sighed and glanced over at his sister. “And I didn’t really know it before we moved here, but apparently Lale has a farming streak buried in her, so we’re probably going to be able to make this stuff with produce from our own yard at some point.”

He just needed to figure out how to plant and grow it all, especially where the heavier things like wheelbarrowing top soil would be concerned, at least for now. He didn’t love it like his wife did, but… well, he was trying. He supposed that meant he could probably, like, make a dessert with his sister at some point, too. His voice definitely contained some of the hesitation he felt as he lowered it to lay the groundwork for offering to hang with her some more. “What kind of projects do you have in the works to horrify mom with while you’re here?”

Maybe they could arrange a homeschool lesson about cake decorating for Berkan, too. The potential groan (not about time with his aunt but about the task) made Ben smile.

“Yeah, I bet.” It was purely sympathetic, though. Lale’s family had been long moved out by the time they’d moved in, but it had still been strange. He could only imagine it was moreso with parents still in residence in some way. “Thank God I’m safe for now, though.” He grinned over at her. “Thank God we both are.” He didn’t even believe in God, necessarily, and he could still find a way to be thankful.

He shook off the asparagus, gentle taps on the side of the sink to avoid flinging water everywhere, but he set it on the cutting board and twisted to the side so he could give Tana’s reaction his full attention.

“Lale’s pregnant,” he said, no preamble. “The baby is the size of a peach, hence the peach pie.”

.

"Definitely beats boxed mac 'n cheese and Ramen." Nothing against those required staples of college life or child raising, but Tana tried to be a little more conscious of what she put in her body these days too. Sure, there was a night in here and there with Netflix and junk food, but it was an occasional indulgence over a consistent habit.

"Is it weird that I kind of love that for her?" She gave a light laugh, picturing her sister-in-law in gardening gloves and a straw hat. It was a little harder to imagine for Ben. She could see the appeal of fresh produce, but Tana probably would have just hit the farmer's market over starting a garden of her own. Her creative energy was typically channeled into music and makeup, with the occasional painting of sets at the theater if they were short-handed.

"I was thinking about starting a cosplay of one of the nurses from Silent Hill for my channel. I haven't decided if I want to make the mask myself or do it with prosthetics and makeup, but if I start now, I might have it down by Halloween. Their faces are pretty grotesque, so... mom will love it." Her YouTube channel had started with makeup trials and eyeshadow blends and gradually extended into costuming and Fx as she got further into her degree and theater work. To say that her parents didn't think doing makeup tutorials was an adequate career for the daughter they'd hoped would be a doctor was putting it mildly, but it pulled in more money than her actual job at times.

"Where would you and Bear stand on helping me repaint my room? The purple and teal is very... sixteen year old girl." Tana didn't hate her taste back then, but it had changed quite a bit. She'd prefer something a little more neutral and easier to switch up the color palette at her whim.

She paused in her dicing and put the knife down when Ben turned toward her, sensing that whatever his news was, it wasn't something she wanted to be holding sharp objects for. She was right. Her face lit up, and she bounced on her toes before flinging herself at him in a hug. "Ben! That's amazing! Congratulations! Oh my god a peach, that's so cute. Boy or girl? Too early to tell?" She was both screeching and gushing, and she wasn't even sorry about it. She'd always been thrilled about Berkan, even when it was a bit of a scandal for them to have him so young. Knowing they were actually settled and reasonably prepared now just made it that much sweeter.

bennettjrbrody​:

Ben’s comfort level ramped up when he heard Tana’s footsteps approaching. Even now, when they were both adults and it had been almost half his life they hadn’t lived under the same roof for any real length of time, he could tell it was her. He was still as surprised as anyone it had worked out for Tana to come help their mom; still as unsurprised as ever their dad wasn’t available for the task.

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. Ben knew he wasn’t a perfect husband by any means, but seeing his dad’s actions through filter of a husband or father, rather than a son, cast a sheen of sharp disappointment over all of it. He’d always known he wasn’t one of his father’s priorities, but he never would’ve guessed until now that extended to their mother, too. Then again, he’d never really gotten to know their mother, either, so maybe it was weird for him to have any kind of feelings or think he had any kind of perspective. He only knew if it was Tana or Lale, he would be there instead of asking Berkan to step up.

Either way, in the presence of his younger sister, everything within Ben relaxed. It was an automatic process for him, and he also turned his head to kiss to top of hers in greeting.

“Hi. I mean it was fine but now it’s so good,” he said and, yeah, he sort of hated how schmaltzy it sounded. But he stayed in motion anyway, unloading vegetables. “Well, we’re really just washing and chopping up some stuff to roast it. Ever heard of a sheet pan dinner? It’s basically my skill level. Nothing complicated because, let’s face it, Lale is the pie-baker in the family, not me.” He dipped his head toward the pie on the counter, then glanced over at her. “And after you answer my question, I have news. But first, how’s your day? Here alone or… is mom somewhere lurking around a corner?”

.

Ben was hard on himself for a lot of things, some deserved and some not. Tana wouldn't hesitate to call him on his worst shit, but there was never a question about whether she supported him too. Perhaps it wasn't a fair comparison because she'd always loved him the most, but Ben was a much better dad than their father. She'd had front row seats to it for most of Berkan's life, and he always tried to be present in a way she'd never seen with their dad for either of them. It made a difference. It made all the difference. (He was also an excellent brother, but she didn't have any others to compare that to.)

"You sap." She said it fondly though, and it pulled a smile out of her, which he must have known it would. Her day had definitely just improved too. "I can't decide if that's lazy or genius." She grabbed a handful of small potatoes to wash and start chopping. Tana was adequate in the kitchen, and occasionally she got inspired to try something ambitious, but she wouldn't call it one of her favorite activities. Nobody wanted to decorate desserts with her because she'd take hours getting the details just so.

"Ooh, pie." She'd have to send Lale a thank you text later. "It wasn't bad. Mostly unpacking. It's weird to be here," she admitted, but not like she was terribly bothered by it. She might be at some point, but right now it was too new. The corner of her mouth pulled up in a small, not particularly happy smile at the question. She probably would have had the presence of mind to warn him first if their mom was going to be here. Not because it would for certain keep him away, but just so he'd know and could decide accordingly from there. "She's out. No secret ambush. What's your news?"

[saturno-sol]

Happiness is realizing you can get food and eat it without your mother criticizing you for eating outside of the designated breakfast/lunch/dinner times