#11:27pm

[xwyyxx]

[chapstick404offical]

giving you a basket of warm cookies <3

whoaaaa thankies! (^3^)

[suicide-and-other-comforts]

I have a weird relationship with my mom. I used to think she was the most beautiful person in the world and wanted to be just like her, but I don’t wanna be anything close to that anymore. She was a good mom until my dad started doing his fuck shit. I cry when people yell now because of both of them, but mainly her. I felt so unloved and unwanted as a child. I remember when she was in the hospital for months and I was living with my grandma and my aunt back and forth. I felt like I didn’t have parents anymore, I barely saw either of them. I went weeks without seeing either of them. I remember seeing my mom so frail and sickly, it was one of the scariest times of my life. I remember when my dad died like the back of my hand, any sense of innocence I had left was gone after that. You don’t ever recover from watching someone die in front of you, especially a parent. I was so young, no 11 year old should have to see that. I remember the weeks and months after that. No food in the house, no heat, no electricity, no hot water, no love, no support. I remember her yelling at the top of her lungs every day over things that didn’t matter in the long run. I lost my father, my only father, does a dirty dish really matter in the grand scheme of things? I remember being beat every day and her turning a blind eye to it. I remember skipping meals and sleeping when I was hungry instead. I remember being constantly sick from being in the cold too much. I remember not having enough money for pads or socks. I remember eating toast and ramen every day. I remember her telling me that I was turning into a person she didn’t like, at 10 years old. Being around her didn’t feel like walking on eggshells, it felt like walking on thumbtacks. I remember locking myself in my room and pushing all my furniture in front of my door to escape the abuse. I remember her telling me to deal with my problems myself. I remember getting my hair pulled, being choked, being punched and having things thrown at me for just defending myself. I remember being so lonely. Lonely to the point where I ended up in multiple abusive relationships just to feel something and to escape her. She put all her attention into the men she was seeing, but would never admit it. I was being raped and abused every night while she was blissfully asleep in the next room. I went to her room late at night one time when I was having a panic attack, and she told me to go to sleep and leave her alone. She told me no man would want to see my body after what I done to it and that I was useless. She told me she doesn’t like me as a person. Whenever I begged her for help, I just got punished instead. Then, got more punishment for the ways I figured out how to survive. I was only trying to get through the day, i swear. She was never there for me, but will take it to the grave that she did everything for me. I was an unwanted child, I was excess. I was always overlooked and undervalued. Nothing I did was good enough and I’m a failure for not doing more. The doctors recommended that she get an abortion when she was pregnant with me because I wasn’t supposed to be carried nearly as far as she carried me for, and I wish she just did it. She gave birth to a child she didn’t want and she never let me forget it. She never outwardly told me that, but the way I was constantly ignored said enough. The only time I got attention was from the multiple times she caught me cutting myself and the times I tried killing myself. Instead of comforting me and talking to me, she told me I was stupid and selfish and threw me into therapy. I skipped a lot of school, I did a lot of drugs, and I destroyed my body multiple times and she still couldn’t see that all I needed was my mother. She just cared about the next paycheck and her at the time boyfriend. I knew she didn’t really care about my well being when she pressured me to drop out of college to work more to pay the bills. I never had a chance. I’m tired of constantly trying to scratch my way to the surface with no help. I lost both parents the day my father died.

[listeningtotma]

Not Episode Related - On Episode MAG 129

i need to make fanart of this stupid little comic i NEED to oh my god i will actually start crying uncontrollably if i dont make fanart soon

[kotonni]

Actually I just came to the realization that the appealing parts about Ascended Astarion are not even exclusive to Ascended Astarion.

Spawn Astarion WOULD still make tav kneel once in a while for a kiss, he WOULD be rough and have possessive pet names that border on objectifying, not because he has a blinding lust for power, just because the man is a menace and loves to be dominating.

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

me, only on bullet point 2 out of 10 of this fic outline and already at 1.7k: hmm is there any chance i could finish this tonight 🤔

[vampyrobot]

Hm, my theory personally is that our little character is apart of some sort of utopia project that was started after order loss to prove that “stability and comfort is the best way”, but something got silly and now we gotta make inkopolis square colorful again with the help of our new lesbian aunties (off the hook)

[charlies-trainhopping]

Mmmmmm

⭐️sterile yogurt⭐️

[mft-toyama]

なんか書こうと思って、AWAMOJIの話を振り返ります。富山の展示、20年以上の常設展示が終わってしまいました。 https://t.co/UScUlXewmv

— Shinya Matsuyama (@gff02521) Mar 11, 2023

[uc1wa]

18+ minors dni

tags: nudes, mentions of penetrative sex

11:24pm jason: when does your class end again?

11:27pm jason: just saw the pictures you took on my phone last night

11:35pm jason: do you want me to call you and pretend that you have an emergency? i’ll say somebody died lol

11:45pm jason: attachment: two images

the class, that was undeniably and exhaustingly lecture heavy, was excruciating to sit in the two days a week that you did. the professor continuing to talk, reading off the powerpoint slides he presented, without a single spare elaboration.

it was exhausting every day that you had to enter the room, and as per usual, your hands had gotten tired and had the mind of their own to find your phone, smiling to yourself as you read the multiple messages from your boyfriend.

the part about him calling you made you laugh to yourself, opening the messages on your phone to view the images he had sent you.

and all too quickly, your eyes widen, heart drops, and phone slams against your desk space a little too loudly. thankfully, in the spacious and filled lecture hall, only the three students that sat near you gave you a look, to which you apologize quietly.

what a blessing it was that you were sat at the end of the row, nobody in the seat directly behind you, because if you angle your phone just right, your eyes have the ability to look at the pictures jason sent you once more. this time with awareness of just what the man had sent you.

the first, a cuter and more innocent looking one. a high angled selfie that make jason’s eyes widen naturally as he looks up to the camera, lip puckered out teasing and jokingly. the angle showing his abdomen that has no shirt covering it. a shadow underneath his pecs that make them look meaty and strong. his abs that he doesn’t have to flex, even in his sitting position protrude, ripple by ripple. his shoulders that are broad and big cover the expanse of background that you presume is desk space.

the picture alone could be saved for later when you get back home, touching yourself under covers. but you have to bring a hand to cover your mouth at the second picture he sent.

you knew what jason’s cock looked like. hell, you could describe in detail how it felt to be inside of you! but the look of it, all hard and begging for attention, does enough to make you squeeze your legs close and close your eyes for a second to bring yourself back to earth. opening to re-examine the photo.

it was lewd how his pre dripped down the sides of his length, milky lines running down along big veins that you had begun to memorize. veins that, when jason bottomed out in you slow enough, you could feel pressing against your walls. his tip that was an angry shade of red, the shade that gave you the knowledge that jason worked himself up just to take this photo for you. the shade of red that showed he had an internal battle with himself to not finish, to achingly take his hands from his cock just to flash a photo to send you as your sat rows of seats in front of your professor.

just as you swipe away from the photo, jason’s continuing to text you. his eyes reading over the read receipt that you’d left him.

12:05pm jason: might enroll in some of your classes next semester for fun

12:06pm jason: sit in the back so nobody sees and finger your pretty self under the table. wouldn’t let you wear underwear btw

12:07pm jason: i know my baby isn’t leaving me on read :(

12:08pm jason: gonna come to your place and fuck you against the window when you get back since you wanna show my cock in front of your whole class

12:08pm jason: your neighbors wouldn’t mind, you think?

the pink on your cheeks doesn’t fade as you continue reading the texts your boyfriend sends you. your eyes widening with every one delivered and heat growing embarrassingly fast in your pants. your fingers begin to find their way against your keyboard, but pause once a longer message finds your phone.

12:10pm jason: gonna fuck you so good that you drool on your window. lol it would be cute if you wore some lipstick too, wanna see how big of a mess you can make. gonna clean it rn just to show you how much of a slut you are for my cock

12:11pm jason: see you soon baby :)

[h3arts4harry]

- "what do you mean we?" -

-

summary: y/n goes out for girls night and gets left to walk home, noticing someone following her she calls chris who comes with backup

warnings: fluff, alcohol, creepy dudes, throwing up, idrk

biker! chris sturniolo x y/n

-

y/n 21 chris 22 matt 22 nick 22 elianna (eli) 22 jemma (jem) 21

-

-Y/N POV-

its 8pm and im getting ready to go out with eli and jemma. we've been planning girls night for around 2 months now and we all just got off of facetime finalizing our plan of what we're doing, agreeing to get to the club at around 9:30pm. i set down my phone on my desk and walk over to my closet swiftly pulling out my leopard print tube top and my short black shorts along with my studded belt, laying them out on my bed before undressing my comfy clothes and pulling on the outfit. as im looking over my outfit in the mirror, i hear a quiet buzz come from my desk, i turn around to -chris🧡- is calling i quickly pick up my phone answering it leaning it on a water bottle on my desk, pulling out my makeup from the drawer to my left side "heyy", "hey ma, what you doing?" he asks his phone against his monitor, hes leant forward his elbows on his knees, his eyes locked on your face. "im getting ready to go out with eli and jemma" i pause for a second to focus on getting the eyeliner even before speaking up again "u remember i said about it a couple days ago" i glance at his smiling face then back to the mirror, "oh yea, do you need me to drive you there?" "uh eli's picking us up in her uber, she was gonna drive then decided she wanted to drink earlier on the phone" "okay, where are you going?" "sound nightclub, its in las palmas ave" "oh nice, tara said that place is good" "omg we need to hangout with tara so bad, im gonna text her tmr" "sounds great" chris chuckles, i finish my makeup cleaning it up by wiping the smudged eyeliner, i pull my hair out of the messy bun i quickly pulled it into to get it out of my face, i split the hair in two bringing it over my shoulders, "you look beautiful ma" i look to my phone to a smirk on chris's face while he lays on his bed against his headboard. "thank you baby" i smile while combing through my hair.

im showing chris the entire outfit when i hear a car honking outside, "eli and the uber is here" i announce, "okay baby have fun and call me if you need anything yea?" "i will, thank you, i love you baby" "i love you too ma" and with that we hang up. i grab my bag and rush down and out my house, "bye mum ill be home late, dont wait up" "okay hunny be safe love you" she yells back from the kitchen "love you too" i shout as i close the door behind me. i run up to the uber, opening the back down sitting down, "elianna hiii" i reach forward hugging eli whos sat in the passengers seat "hey y/nn", "i think youre forgetting someone?" jemma says from beside me "i could never forget u jem" i giggle giving her a hug as well.

-9:27pm-

we pull up outside the club, eli pays the uber driver and we head into the loud building. we walk up to bar and order some shots. "to girls night!" we cheers and down the shot.

-11:02pm-

songs blast over the speakers as we all dance. i feel hands slide onto my waist "hey hottie" i immediately turn around stepping back bringing my hand up between us "hey, no, i have a boyfriend" he steps closer to me my hand now against his chest bringing his hands back onto me "i dont see him" he smirks "well if he sees you he'll beat your ass so i suggest you walk away lil boy" i push against his chest as i finish talking, his smirk disappears and he walks away. i continue dancing until the song finishes, another starting as i make my way over to the bar for another drink.

-1:30am-

"heyy i think i wanna go home now" i drunkenly speak to my best friends, "girl cmonn we wanna stay" eli says back, a small 'yea' being heard from jem "okay" i look down at my shoes "imma walk home byee" i say quieter than i thought, i spin on my feet and walk through the crowd of people, eli and jem go back to dancing thinking im going to use the restroom.

-1:45am-

i forgot the walk back home is 1-2 hours, and my feet are starting to hurt already. i look around the street to see if theres a bench to see a figure a little back behind me down the street. the person looks quite tall, but i cant make out who it is. i turn and carry walking, deciding to try ignore the pain in my feet not wanting to stop and them catch up.

after walking for another 10 minutes i can still feel the presence of someone behind me, but they feel closer than before. scared to turn back around, i pull out my phone and call chris:

"can u come get me i dont feel safe" i whisper adding, "i think someones following me" "are you drunk? where are u?" "i dont know urmmm" i squints my eyes while walking attempting to read the street sign "oh im on Melrose" "okay we're on our way" "thank you baby- wait what do you mean we?" "be there in 5 okay?" "okay baby i love you" "i love you too ma"

i continue walking still terrified to stop or look behind me. after what feels like hours walking (10 minutes), i hear revving in the distance to my right, i turn to see 3 black motorbikes speeding down the road. i stop with a small smile recognising chris's bike from a mile away. they pull up directly infront of me, chris pulls off his helmet "are you okay?" looking a little down the street to see a man stopped in his tracks staring at the group, hes closer than y/n thought. "yea, especially now your here" i put a hand on his cheek swiping my thumb over it, the small stubble against my hand will always be one of my favourite feelings. "is he following you?" he doesn't take his eyes away from the man, "im not sure, i didn't want to look or stop, i just called you" i lightly bite the side of my bottom lip, chris turns to his brothers tilting his head in the direction of the man, the boys nod back taking of towards him to which he turns back to you. "here" he passes you the helmet from his lap, "thank you" i mumble pulling the helmet over my head, chris takes off his protective jacket "chris you need this" i say as hes pulling it on me "you need it more than me" he zips it up "cmon jump on lets go home" i do as he says, lifting my leg over the bike wrapping my arms around his waist. as chris starts up the bike i look to my right to see 1 out of the 2 boys riding back towards us, i lean back to see nick stood over the man, one fist filled with the neck of his shirt, the other landing one last punch into the side of his face. dropping the man he stands up straight turning back to his bike pulling his helmet on, then getting onto his bike joining us waiting for him.

"are you okay y/n?" nick asks through the intercom, "yea im oka-" im cut off being sick in my mouth, forcing myself to swallow it down as i have my helmet on and i cant let it go, i feel chris try turn to me not being fully able to "ma?" i take in a deep breath "im fine, can we go home? im gonna be sick again" "of course baby" chris pulls out into the road, matt infront of us and nick behind. we're pulling onto the main road when matt breaks the silence "hold on y/n, what do you mean again?" "i uh threw up in my mouth but had to swallow it cause i had my helmet on" you can hear nick gag in the background.

-2:53am-

we finally pull into our driveway. as soon as i feel the bike stop i jump off it, pulling my helmet off as i run through the garage door into chris and i's room, lightly throwing it onto chris bed as i barge into the bathroom falling to my knees infront of the toilet immediately throwing up what felt like my entire insides.

"y/n?" chris runs in behind me almost instantly, crouching down pulling my hair back "let it all out baby". i sit back onto the heels of my feet, leaning into chris's chest "remind me to never drink again" i groan to which he quietly chuckles "dont laugh at me" i sit up turning to face him "its not funny" he shakes his head still laughing, "chris-" "i know i know, its just you tell me to do remind you every single time" i stay silent looking at him furrowing my eyebrows with a small pout "cmon lets get you ready for bed" he stands up then puts his hand out for me pulling me up. "im gonna grab you some pjs, can you manage taking your dress off?" he asks with a small smile lingering on his face, i nod reaching down to the bottom of my dress lifting it over my head, then sitting on the toilet seat pulling off my shoes. he walks in with one of his shirts and a pair of my shorts, i reach to grab the clothes when he turns them away "let me help" "i can do it yano" "i know but i want to" he pulls the shirt over my head letting it drop before leaning over tapping my left leg, i lift it and he slips the shorts over, repeating the same with my right leg. he then stands up straight, grabbing my makeup wipes from the drawers, taking one out he places his spare hand on my jawline and begins wiping away the smudged makeup that remains on my face i look down to his wrist seeing a hair tie, i reach up pulling his hand off my face taking the band before placing his hand back on my face, putting up my hair in a low messy bun. "all clean" he says kissing the tip of my nose before lifting my up from the seat carrying me to our bed.

as soon as i feel the sheets cover me i feel how tired i actually am, just as i doze off i feel chris's arms wrap around me bringing my chest against his, kissing my forehead he mumbles "goodnight ma."

-

i wrote this over a course of 2 months for im sorry if its shit LMFAO

as always, honest feedback is appreciated <333

taglist:

@m0r94n @chrisgetsmewetterxo @raysmayhem-72 @junnniiieee07 @sturnzsblog @sturniolo-slvt @mattspolitank

[drunkfrogg]

time zones | charles leclerc

pairing: reader x charles leclerc

summary: different time zones keep getting in the way, and charles realises it isn't sustainable.

warnings: a little bit of angst never hurt anybody, did it?...right?!

note: first fic in a long time. enjoy! <3

MASTERLIST

7:02am.

Charles stared at the blurry numbers on his phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen and the sunlight pouring into his bedroom. He squeezed his eyes shut when he noticed the notifications from you. Three texts, two calls. All unanswered.

The first text, at 11:58pm.

I just finished work. I'll call you on the way home. Can't wait to hear your voice. I need it.

Charles' chest hurt. 11:58pm, minutes after he must have dozed off. He had tried so hard to keep his eyes open but his day had been so long and sleep was fighting a good battle against him.

At midnight is when the first missed call came through. It would've been 5pm for you. You would be getting out of work and Charles would be about to get into bed. You would've just got to your car, set up Google Maps, and called him. That was the only time you could find to chat to each other lately, and Charles had missed it.

Worse yet, he let you drive home with the disappointment of waiting all day to hear his voice, only to still be alone come night time.

Twenty six minutes later, at your 5:27pm and his 12:27am, the second text came through.

I made it home safe. I saw you got P2, congratulations! Very well deserved my love. Are you still awake?

That's when the next call came through.

Charles knew that you'd have been upset when he didn't answer. He knew you'd be holding back the intrusive thoughts. The what-ifs, the tears, the disappointment. It would have been keeping you up much later when you'd be trying to sleep. But he knew what was really eating at you was the hope that he would wake up and light up your phone with an incoming call.

He knew it was true when he saw the text at your 11:03pm and his 6:03am.

I think we've missed each other tonight. I was looking forward to hearing your voice, but I hope you celebrated that win well. Congratulations on P1 my love, well deserved. Goodnight.

He stared at the time of your last text, your 11:03pm and his 6:03am. One hour ago. You'd barely been asleep for an hour and here he was waking up to start his day. By the time you'd wake up, he'd be in meetings. By the time he'd get out, you'd be in work. By the time you'd finish, he'd be going to sleep.

Charles squeezed his eyes shut. Distance was never easy, but this wasn't the first time you'd missed your small window to talk to each other. It had been happening a lot lately. He knew it was hurting you because it was killing him.

He opened the tab on his phone of flights that neither of you could take. He was stuck where he was, and you were stuck elsewhere. There was never time. Something always changed the circumstances for the worse, and Charles sank his shoulders in defeat.

He deleted the tab on his phone.

Opening your messages, he sent his own reply.

Good morning, mon amour. I'm sorry we missed each other last night. I hope you're sleeping well. I'll call you after you finish work.

He stared at your missed calls again. There was nothing he could do except stare at them and wish they weren't real.

The alarms he forgot to set would have urged him out of bed over half an hour ago, and so he got himself up and dressed for the meeting he was about to be late to, but he couldn't open the door of his lifeless hotel room.

Guilt gnawed at his stomach. It wasn't fair of him to make you live this way for him. You deserved more than a short phone call every couple of days, and he realised that the only way for that to ever change was if you were here with him.

But he knew deep down that following him around the world wasn't what you wanted. While he could give you security, he couldn't give you stability. That's what you wanted more than anything, and that's when he finally realised, after suffering the long distance for so long, that there were two things in life that meant most to him.

The job and the girl.

He wanted both. But as he opened the door of his hotel room, he realised he could only have one. He had to pick. But he knew it wasn't really a choice. There was only one option.

And it wasn't the girl.

[leclercvsx]

I miss your facts | TEXTING AU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x reader

summary: y/n and lando are bestfriends, y/n liking lando. She introduces him to one of her bestfriends, he forgets about her and only realises what he missed when it’s too late

warnings: mentions of suicide!

y/n <3

did you know that some sharks can’t stop swimming otherwise they’ll die?

Lan <3

that’s useful, thanks

y/n <3

EXACTLY! i knew i was needed

Lan <3

you’re always needed

11:23am | thursday

y/n <3

i miss you, can you come over after training?

Lan <3

i will, might be a little while though

y/n <3

don’t take tooo long

14:56pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

did you know that there’s over 500 different species of sharks?

Lan <3

i didn’t know that, no. cool

y/n <3

OH ALSO

there’s a new girl at my work, she’s super nice

you should come meet her!

Lan <3

i might

10:35am | Saturday

Lan <3

you were right, Taylor is actually really nice

y/n <3

SEE? I TOLD YOU

me and her are gonna hang out on tuesday if you wanna come

Lan <3

sure

16:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

australia is wider than the moon

you should tell Oscar that

Lan <3

Taylor told me that

y/n <3

oh really? wow she really knows her facts!

Lan <3

yeah, she’s pretty smart

18:18pm | Saturday

y/n <3

do you wanna hang out?

i’m bored

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor rn

y/n <3

oh, nevermind then😊

12:25pm | Sunday

y/n <3

human teeth are the only body part that cannot heal themselves

Lan <3

i know, Taylor told me

y/n <3

it’s illegal to own just ONE guinea pig in switzerland

Lan <3

Taylor’s from Switzerland, she told me

17:34pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

the heart of the shrimp is located in the head!

Lan <3

the shrimps heart is located in the head

y/n <3

haha, we said the same thing!!

Lan <3

Taylor told me the fact, haha

y/n <3

ohh

9:27am | Thursday

y/n <3

do you have time? i really wanna talk about something

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor right now, but what’s up?

y/n <3

oh okay, nevermind then :)

17:26pm | Monday

Lan <3

octopuses are so weird, they’re cool looking though

y/n <3

i thought you hated octopuses?

Lan <3

i did before.

but Taylor told me some cool facts about them

y/n <3

i did that with sharks🙃

14:27pm | Friday

y/n <3

you’ve been hanging out with Taylor a lot

Lan <3

anything wrong?

y/n <3

nothings wrong, i just miss you

Lan <3

i’m not leaving you though.

y/n <3

no, i know

13:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

hiiii! do you wanna hang out?

hello?

read

16:56pm | Wednesday

Lan <3

sorry i was hanging out with Taylor

y/n <3

i know.

Lan <3

why are you mad?

y/n <3

i’m not?

Lan <3

why is it so wrong that i’m hanging out with her?

18:34pm | Sunday

y/n <3

you’re forgetting me.

lando

i’m not though?

hello?

answer me.

i’m not forgetting you.

14:30pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

you’re all i have, had.

lando

why are you using dots? don’t scare me

y/n <3

is Taylor all you needed?

lando

stop.

17:25pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

i’m sorry

lando

for what?

stop leaving me on read, please.

stop scaring me.

you’re not funny.

18:45pm | Thursday

lando

i miss you

i was dumb

i’m really sorry

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise

i really wanted to tell you, i miss your facts. i love you. i hope one day we meet again

you could’ve told me about Taylor. i reread our messages, i saw that you needed me

i’m sorry

12:34pm | Sunday

lando

you looked really pretty at your funeral today

i miss you

pez candles were made for you, so you could stop smoking

i could smell it on you before, now i miss it.

3:34am | Tuesday

lando

sharks skin feels like sandpaper.

7:17am | Wednesday

lando

sharks are one of the oldest living species on the earth.

but you knew that, right?

——————————

this made me sob writing it😭

ib: this tiktok

masterlist | request page

[megameatymatt]

Cookies and Cuts - Jake Webber

summary: Jake find's out about Y/N sh

WARNINGS: swearing, SH (self h@rm), Mentions of blood, Mentions of blades, crying, Mentions of su!c!de, angst, panic attack, overthinking??, mention of death, fem!reader.

requested: yup! right here

word count: 1,029

A/N: Feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! stay slutty ok bye💋

--------------------------------------------------------------

pink: y/n

red: Jake webber

9:45pm

"Did you buy the chocolate chips?" You say walking into Jake's kitchen. "How could I forget the chocolate chips?" he says taking a bowl out of the cabinet.

Jake had invited you to his place to make cookies while Johnnie and Carrington were out doing whatever the fuck they were doing. You and Jake have been dating for the past 4 and a half months now.

But no matter how many times he's said he loves you, you're always too scared to get close to him. scared that he might find out about the cuts on your arms, thighs, and anywhere else. You've never brought it up to anyone. Not Jake, not Carrington, nobody.

You hated your scars, they made you feel ugly. but you couldn't stop. cutting became somewhat of an addiction, Your only way to cope. It started with just a way to deal with stress, but now, even a minor inconvenience could send you back to the blades, the blood, and the bandages.

Sometimes, you would look at other girls and wish you could swap bodies. You'd take their clean arms and thighs, and you could give them yours. At least they'd have enough confidence to show their scars and not hide under hoodies and long pants.

"Brown sugar?" you say scrolling on your phone as you read through the recipe. "Yup, up here". He walks over and swings the cabinet door open. As you raise your hand up to reach for the sugar, your sleeve rolls up a bit.

You quickly grab the sugar and put your arm back down. But it was too late, Jake had already seen the red cuts that drew across your wrist. You weren't completely sure if he saw it or not, but you avoided his gaze, hoping he wouldn't say anything.

And he didn't. He watches you grab milk from the fridge. As you finally set everything up on the table you gain the courage to finally face Jake. He's still by the cabinet, frozen. "Jake? Are you okay?" You already know what he saw, but you're still trying to play it off.

"Uhm, yeah. I'm fine, just zoned out" He's lying through his teeth. You're not mad he tried to brush it off, you're just scared he won't love you anymore. "Great, let's make cookies!" you say forcing your face into a smile. He smiles back, but his mind is elsewhere, you take a deep breath and start prepping the ingredients.

11:27pm

"I still can't believe you burnt a whole tray of cookies, what a waste!" You say climbing into Jake's bed. "I was a bit distracted okay?" he says pulling the sheets over the two of you. "Yeah, whatever." You say, rolling your eyes.

You've been trying to ignore the situation, but it's been hard. He just went silent, he wasn't cracking jokes or being stupid, he was too scared to even get close to you. You wanted to curl up in a ball and die. You couldn't take it anymore

You pull out your phone and scroll through Instagram. "Hey Y/N?" You turn to face him, His head down fidgeting with his fingers. Then he looks up. "A-, are you okay?" He says staring into your eyes. Your heart drops into your stomach. "Yeah, Yeah i-im good" "You sure?" "Yeah, why are you asking?" He reaches for your arm and rolls your sleeve up to your elbow. His eyes grow wide when he sees your scars, Old and new scattered across your forearm. You quickly snatch your arm away from him and your gaze falls into your lap. Tears threaten to roll down your cheeks and your hands start shaking.

I Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He hates me. What am i doing here? He can't love a girl like me. Why am I like this?

You drown in your thoughts for what feels like forever, then you hear his voice. "Why?" He sounds like he's holding back tears, his voice cracking. But you can't look at him, you don't want to see what you've done, how you've hurt him. You quickly shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. You don't know what to say, where you should start, or if you should even speak at all. Your breathing starts getting faster and he quickly shuffles beside you and holds you. "It's okay, you're fine, just breathe Y/N. In and out, you'll be fine, you'll be just fine"

12:35pm

You've been calm for a while now, but you still haven't said a word. Neither has Jake, he just sat there, pressing your back against his chest. "Why'd you do it? Cause of me? How can I help you get better?" You only knew the answer to one of those questions "No, never because of you. I love you" You choke out. "So what, why'd you do it." He keeps asking you "why", but not even you know the answer to that question. "I don- I don't know, Jake."

You want to cry again, but you hold back. "I-I guess it was a-a way of coping? With l-like stress, and my thoughts." Jake's crying again but you can't bring yourself to look at him. "What are your 'thoughts'?" he says wiping tears off his cheeks. What aren't your thoughts? You shrug your shoulders and Jake asks another question.

"Why'd you never tell me? Have you ever tried to, um, attempt?" Jake struggled and hesitated to get his question out. You knew you didn't have to answer it if you didn't want to. But you did answer it. Talking about it out loud to someone was starting to help you piece your thoughts together. "Scared" you reply bluntly.

"Scared to die? or scared to tell me?" You choke up, failing to hold back your tears. "B-both". He slowly nods to himself trying to understand.

"Do you still wanna talk about this?" He asks worried he might be making you uncomfortable. "Do you wanna know anything else?" you say. "Will you quit?" The question immediately brings you to tears. "It's ok baby, I'm here for you. You're not alone. I wanna help you, i still love you."

tags: @zumarockkkkkkkkk @loveyouuuuuuuuuuuu1 @sturnobsessedwh0re

[ironskyfinder]

When I first met Jackalynn, she was very confused about her place in the world.

The silly little girl was going by Jaden, had cut all her beautiful hair off, was wearing a binder to hide her beautiful hourglass figure, and was outwardly militant about ‘becoming’ a ‘man’.

She messaged me - seemingly furious that I would run a blog that openly advocated for female disempowerment, misgendering, and ‘transphobia’, but I could tell there was something deeper going on, and before long, she said something that gave away far more than she’d wanted me to know.

jadensjourney [11:24PM] I just can’t believe that you would knowingly post such filth. It boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing. And you defend it without the slightest thought?!

trad-dominant [11:25PM] I post it because it’s filth that people enjoy, and I defend it for that reason and because it’s my artistic right to do so.

trad-dominant [11:25PM] So it’s filth that you enjoy, too?

jadensjourney [11:26PM] Our definitions of the word ‘artist’ are very different

jadensjourney [11:27PM] No, no, NO. I didn’t say that, you psycho

jadensjourney [11:27PM] What is WRONG with you?!

trad-dominant [11:29PM] You said it “boggles the mind that anyone would think it’s okay in the slightest to make such a toxically degrading concept so arousing,” which certainly implies that you found it arousing.

jadensjourney [11:30PM] No!! 

jadensjourney [11:31PM] Okay, but, that wasn’t what I meant and you know it

jadensjourney [11:32PM] What I ACTUALLY MEANT was that you’re a degenerate for even trying to make such disgusting topics into erotica

trad-dominant [11:34PM] Maybe I am a degenerate, but at least I’m honest with myself about what I like. I could help you with that, if you’d lose the attitude and admit it.

jadensjourney [11:37PM] Fuck you.

It wasn’t the first time I’d had readers reach out to berate me, and it wouldn’t be the last. I thought that was the end of it, and went back to writing. I felt like I was making good progress, so I stayed up later than usual, until another chat notification interrupted me.

jadensjourney [1:17AM] I admit it

jadensjourney [1:19AM] now what?!

trad-dominant [1:21AM] What?

jadensjourney [1:23AM] I thought it was a little erotic. Your story. So what?

trad-dominant [1:25AM] So you’re starting to be honest with yourself, that’s all that means

jadensjourney [1:26AM] Shut up, fuck you

trad-dominant [1:27AM] You don’t need to be aggressive, you’re judging yourself for liking it far more than I am.

trad-dominant [1:29AM] So, which part of the Little Miss Thought-She-Was-A-Boy story turned you on most?

jadensjourney [1:33AM] no I’m not

jadensjourney [1:34AM] judging myself

jadensjourney [1:36AM] stop it

trad-dominant [1:37AM] It took you all that time for just seven words? You must be typing one-handed, were you reading the story again?

jadensjourney [1:41AM] yes 

jadensjourney [1:43AM] the part where he’s cockwarming ryan and they’re doing anatomy

jadensjourney [1:44AM] That’s the best part

trad-dominant [1:47AM] I have to point out that Sam is a girl, I know you and her both struggle with that

trad-dominant [1:48AM] But, I agree, that is a great scene. 

jadensjourney [1:50AM] fine

jadensjourney [1:51AM] the part where SHE’s cockwarming ryan.

jadensjourney [1:53AM] where’d you come up with the paintbrush thing?

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Personal experience. 

trad-dominant [1:54AM] Holding a girl down and slowly tracing through all her erogenous zones with a brush is something that never gets old.

jadensjourney [1:55AM] crazy

jadensjourney [1:56AM] It’s only a tease?

trad-dominant [1:57AM] It is, although you have to be careful brushing around her clit, just in case

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i liked that most

jadensjourney [1:58AM] i mean

trad-dominant [1:59AM] Is that the part you were imagining happening to you?

trad-dominant [2:01AM] Having a stranger who picked you up at a bar overpower you, tease you mercilessly, and correct your gender?

I didn’t hear from her more that night; I assume she’d gotten embarrassed and deleted the chat. Most of the interactions ended like that - a confused girl reached out full of anger, then admitted how hot it was, then vanished. It didn’t bother me, but I was surprised when the next day I found a message waiting when I logged in.

jadensjourney [6:52AM] hey so fuck you but that last messsage you sent made me cum harder than I ever have in my human life and i passed out. sorry

It actually made me laugh aloud, between the reckless honesty and the charming turn of phrase. Few people had enough creativity or enough of a way with words to arouse my attention, but there was still the lingering combativeness from our earlier interaction. I sent the reply and assumed I’d never hear back.

trad-dominant [7:26AM] Fine, I suppose we can let that slide. If you keep cumming to my stories, though, you owe me your deadname real name.

I didn’t hear anything from her that night, or the one after, or the next. I expected to see her icon vanish one day, blog deleted. It was only after I published the next story, this time about a lesbian ruining her gold stars, that another two messages came through.

jadensjourney [9:52PM] three times. I hate you.

jadensjourney [9:54PM] and it’s jackalynn. 

From then on, whenever I posted a new story, Jackalynn and I talked. It started with her telling me how many orgasms she’d had while reading, but then we started talking more with each story. Over the following months, she confided that she was liking my stories more and more, and I told her if she sent a selfie of her all femme’d out that I’d write one with her as a main character. The story of ‘Jessie’s Fall Back to Femininity’ took a few days to finish, but when I posted it I saw that it had vanished.

Then - 

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] it’s me new blog. 

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:56PM] spent the last three days reading and re-reading jessica’s fall. i can’t think about anything else

jackalynnsjourneyback [10:57PM] so when i tell people i’m officially detransitioning do i blame it all on you, or?

trad-dominant [11:02PM] What a pleasant surprise! I thought you’d gotten cold feet, I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:04PM] yeah you brainwashed me back into being a girl or something 

trad-dominant [11:06AM] We both know I only reminded you that your clit exists, it did the rest.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:07PM] uh, i think you did a little more than that!

trad-dominant [11:08PM] Not really, all I had to do was help your clit show you who you really wanted to be.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] thanks for saying that, now i’m soaked again.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:11PM] but you’re right, of course

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:12PM] i just can’t believe how hot jessie’s fall was, especially when she got fully corrected at the end

trad-dominant [11:13PM] You’re welcome. I thought you’d like it ending with her cumming from being impregnated.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:14PM] and her repeating ‘this...is…what..i’m…for” is going to stick in my head forever

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:16PM] so are you gonna make me beg, or

trad-dominant [11:17PM] Probably, on principle, but I don’t know what you mean.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] do it all to me

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:19PM] treat me like the professor treats jessica. tattoos and all

trad-dominant [11:20PM] For that, you’re definitely going to have to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] fuck

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:22PM] please

trad-dominant [11:25PM] You told me that in the last three and a half weeks you’ve edged for hundreds of hours, a lot of it to pretty misogynistic porn. We both know you know how to beg.

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] i deserve to have my silly gender fantasies corrected by someone who is going to take every advantage of me, i know i’m just holes and tits. please use me, sir

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:29PM] pierce my nipples, tattoo a qr code over my clit because i’m just property, and decide what else you want done to my body. 

jackalynnsjourneyback [11:30PM] please make me your jessica. take me in, break me down, make it so i lose my mind when you breed me

trad-dominant [11:36PM] That is better. Hmm.

Three weeks later, Jackalynn stepped off the plane; we talked the whole way back, her mind was made up. She wanted nothing less than to be reeducated, corrected, improved.

She’s getting her wish. Sometimes she still gets confused, but she’ll come and talk to me and a few minutes of intense anatomy practice always sorts out her delusions. Edging afterwards is helping her feel a lot better, and this will be her tenth straight day plugged - between that and the daily maintenance spankings, she says she’s never felt more feminine.

Now all that’s left is to breed her, and she’ll be the perfect woman she never dreamed she’d be.

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Twenty

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking, suggestive? word count: 3.3k a/n: this series has been longer than I anticipated but I'm living for the slow burn so it's gonna be a while till we're done folks.

pov: layla

I spent the next week couped in my room, refusing to leave as I quickly smoked the bag of weed Wes had given me. Allie had messaged me in concern multiple times and I finally built up the courage to reply to her a day after her last message.

Allie <3 Monday hey girl are you okay? matt has been off all day 1:30pm Tuesday if u wanna talk im here <3 5:37pm Wednesday im getting concerned pls message me if u need anything 3:47pm

You sorry just havent been feeling good im okay just need time alone 10:21pm

Allie <3 im sorry :(10:23pm

You its okay i'll be at school tmrw 10:27pm

Allie <3 okay! see ya then <3 10:28pm

I locked my phone and threw it lazily on the bed beside me, rolling over to face the wall where my window was cracked open. I was glad my dad was out tonight, having to deal with him for over a week straight was draining and I felt like it didn't benefit my self-loathing in any way. I sighed as my mind always travelled back to the look on Matt's face, the pure hurt in his eyes that I knew I caused.

Part of me was glad he hadn't messaged or tried to talk to me. It meant that I could push him away if I wanted to. I did just that without even consciously meaning to. I got scared and made it his fault in my brain but as I continued rotting in my bed, I realised I hurt him more than I ever meant to. It wasn't his fault that I was afraid of someone being close, it wasn't his fault that I let something so small set me off. I needed to make him realise it wasn't his fault and I was just not used to the affection and accommodation he offered me daily.

I barely slept over the past week and this night was no different. My alarm went off in the early hours of the morning and I knew I had slept a total of 4 hours from the way my brain had constantly been reeling. I dragged myself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom. I took an extra long shower to attempt to rid the disgust I felt towards myself.

After scrubbing my entire body head to toe, I jumped out of the shower and walked to my room. My entire body felt heavy and I felt tears prick my eyes when I looked over to the pink sweater that was still laying over my bag. I picked it up, realising it was the only clean sweater I had since I hadn't been bothered with laundry. I quickly slid it over my head before sliding on my black sweatpants and combat boots. I slid my leather jacket over the top, not bothering with any makeup as I lazily tied my now damp hair into a low ponytail. I grabbed my bag, quickly sprayed on some perfume and grabbed my phone off of my bedside table.

I quickly exited my house without food or water in my stomach and as I began walking down the road, I decided to light one of the last few cigarettes I had pre-rolled. I grabbed my headphones from my bag, slid one into my ear and plugged them into my phone. I clicked shuffle on one of my playlists and I let my feet drag on the asphalt as I slowly made my way down the streets of Massachusetts.

After an hour, I finally arrived in the parking lot of the school and I scanned the cars, my eyes landing where I saw the familiar silver minivan. I paused, letting out a heavy breath as I collected myself and began walking to the group of people in front of the car.

Nate was the first to notice me and he just looked at me with no expression before he turned back to the group. As I got closer I noticed the fact that Mia was standing beside Matt with her head leaned on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her back lazily and I felt a pang of pure jealousy run through me. I tried to shake it off as I got closer, knowing I had no right to be mad about it right now since I was the one who caused the riff between the brown-haired boy and myself.

"Speak of the devil," I heard Nick say when his eyes caught mine and I was a few feet away, standing uncomfortably as I looked between all of them. All of their heads turned to look at me, Allie being the only one who didn't seem like they were looking right through me.

"Matt, can I talk to you?" I asked quietly as I didn't dare to meet his eyes yet and there was an uncomfortable silence that fell over us, "Please."

"About what?" he asked, his tone short and I looked up to see his face completely expressionless but his eyes held such hurt and aggravation that it felt like it cut right through me.

"Last week," I mumbled, ignoring the pain in my chest of seeing Mia looking at me with a slight smirk. I focused in on the boy I had hurt, his blue eyes piercing in the sunlight.

"Now?" he questioned, not taking his eyes off of me and I just looked at him, the judgement of his friends radiating off of them. He sighed heavily before swinging his arm out from around Mia and I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders but there was still a pressure on my chest, "I'll be back."

I looked at the ground as he pushed away from the hood of the minivan and he walked past me. I followed behind him, not daring to look back at his friends as we walked to the back of the parking lot before he stopped to face me.

He didn't say anything for a moment as I looked up at him and he scanned me head to toe before murmuring, "That's my sweater."

"Yeah. I left it on my bag all week but I didn't have any clean hoodies for today," I explained and he hummed as I picked at the skin around my fingers, my nails too short to bite now that I had been picking at them all week. I nervously chewed on my lip before I said, "I'm sorry."

"It took you a week to say that?" he asked, his voice quiet but his words laced with pain.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I know I reacted to what you said horribly but I just-" I cut myself off as I took a breath and looked down at the gravel below us, "I haven't had anyone take care of me the way you do. It scares me. I'm sorry."

I squeezed my eyes closed, chewing on my bottom lip far more aggressively than I intended but my heart raced as I waited for his response. I felt his hand fall under my chin and he lifted my face to look up at him, noticing now that he was slightly closer to me. He used his thumb to gently pull my lip away from my teeth as I fidgeted with the hem of the pink sweater.

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" he asked, his tone softening as he looked down at me and I shrugged dumbly.

"I am bad at talking about that sorta stuff," I answered quietly, my throat closing from the sadness that invaded my body as I looked up at him. I had no right to be upset right now, I was the one who fucked up and made this so difficult, but I felt guilt invade my entire body when I realised I didn't want to push him away. It was habit and I was always bad at breaking them.

"Don't do that again," he demanded softly and I pursed my lips as I pushed my sadness down the best I could as tears sprung to my eyes, "Or I swear to god I won't talk to you again and I don't want to stop talking to you. Ever."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you away. I just don't know how to deal with everything I'm feeling and I know it's shitty but I promise I'm trying. I have no right to be sad right now because this is my fault but I feel so horrible for making you upset. You deserve so much more than that and if I can't give that to you I understand if you don't want me to be around anymore," I rambled out all of my feelings and conflicting voices in my head but I was cut off by his lips on mine.

I paused for a moment to register what was happening before my body melted into his, his arms wrapping around my lower back as I snaked my arms around his neck. I pulled him into me, missing the way his body felt against my own more than I anticipated. It felt like a breath of fresh air after being stuck in my room for the past week with smoke-filled lungs. He gripped my hips, pulling me impossibly closer to him as I tangled my hands in his hair before he pulled away to breathe for a moment.

"You're an idiot," he mumbled before he leaned back in to kiss me gently again.

"I know," I mumbled against his lips and he ran his tongue against my rough lips, the sting of his saliva hitting the open splits on my lips from chewing them. I hissed and pulled away as he looked down at me.

"You need to stop biting your lip," he muttered as his eyes travelled all around my face, "And stop picking your nails. You're not gonna have any left soon."

"I've been stressed the past week. I can't help it," I whispered as I looked up at him in awe. I had forgotten the pure oxytocin that ran through my system when I was with him and I refused to let it go again.

"Pretty girl," he gave me a sympathetic look and I shook my head as I pulled away from his face slightly, my arms still slung over his shoulders.

"Don't feel bad. This was my doing and I will make it up to you," I answered sternly and his face broke into a small smile. I sighed, the weight being lifted off of my chest now and my body tingled with joy.

"All I'm asking is that you talk to me next time," he whispered, leaning down to place a peck on my lips and I let it linger before I pulled back and nodded.

"I will try," I scratched the nape of his neck lightly and he bit his bottom lip as my face dropped, "Don't look at me like that before we have to go inside. I'll drive us back to your house right now."

"I don't see you for a week and you're ready to jump my bones already," he chuckled and I raised my eyebrows.

"How else can I make it up to you, ya know?" I joked as let my mouth form into a smirk and he shook his head as he pursed his lips, "Does this mean I can come to your game this week?"

"Of course baby," he smiled down at me and I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach again, promising not only him but myself to never let myself ruin this again.

"By the way," I let my right hand trail from his neck to his chest, playing with the necklace that sat comfortably on his collarbones, "Allie's brother was just dropping me home. He tried to flirt with me but I shut it down. I wasn't lying about that."

"I know. I overreacted. I'm sorry about that," he said softly and I shook my head, twiddling the pendant between my fingers as I looked up at him.

"I know how it looked. I would've been just as upset. You don't need to apologise for it," I mumbled, trying hard to convey my feelings as best I could to which he didn't respond verbally. He instead placed another kiss against my lips and smiled against me as he squeezed my hips.

"Matt!" I heard Chris's voice call from only a few feet away and we both broke apart to look over at him, "You guys done? We gotta go to class."

"I forgot about that," I joked and Chris just gave me a deadpanned look as Matt chuckled.

"We'll be there in a sec," he called to his brother who just rolled his eyes and spun around to walk back to his friends, "They're more pissed at you than I was."

"I can tell," I mumbled as I watched their eyes pour directly into me, "Allie messaged me though."

"She was the only one defending you," he told me honestly and I hummed as I looked back up to him, "I'll talk to them."

"Don't sugarcoat it. You can tell them I'm a dumbass who doesn't know how to deal with her emotions," I stated and he shook his head with a smile, placing a kiss on the top of my head before swinging his arm over my shoulders.

"Come on," he said nodding towards the group and I hesitantly began walking with him by my side. Their eyes stayed glued to us as we approached and Mia gave me nothing but a scowl with her arms crossed, "Chill out. We talked about it."

"That didn't seem like talking," Mia spat and I remained silent, letting Matt handle the situation as I looked at Allie who gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Don't Mia," Matt deadpanned and she only scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "We talked about it and I don't wanna hear it."

"Only took you a week," Nate raised his eyebrows as he spoke and he looked at me. I pursed my lips while glancing between them.

"At least it happened," Matt retorted before the bell rang and he sighed, "We'll talk about it later. Let's go."

He began walking with his arm around my shoulder still and I followed suit, Chris moving to stand on the other side of Matt as everyone else followed behind. We made our way to our classes and once we sat down, a weight fell back on my chest.

Not only did I have to make it up to Matt, I had to win back his brothers and his friends.

+++

Pretty boy where did u go?? 12:23pm

You 🚬 be there in a minute 12:24pm

I locked my phone, sliding it into my pocket as I finished off my cigarette, throwing it onto the ground before I wedged it into the ground with my boot. I made my way back inside and straight to the cafeteria where I saw the group of friends sitting together.

"Hey," Allie beamed as she scooted closer to Mia to make space between her and Matt for me to sit. I smiled at her as I swung my legs over the bench and sat down. Matt placed his arm around my lower back as he continued his conversation with Nick.

"I don't want to wear a tie. That's why I got the red shirt," Matt groaned and Nick gave him a deadpanned look.

"It's prom. You're supposed to look fancy with a tie," Nick stated and Matt ran a hand across his face.

"We're all wearing a tie. Don't be a bitch," Nate pointed out and I tuned them out as Allie tapped my shoulder to gain my attention.

"You okay?" she asked quietly and I nodded with a hum.

"Yeah. Thank you for checking on me," I answered in a hushed tone and she shrugged with her sunshine smile that warmed my heart to know she wasn't annoyed with me.

"Of course. That's what friends are for," she said casually before she turned back to listen to the group conversation. I let her words hang over my head like a cloud.

That's what friends are for.

I don't remember the last time I had a genuine friend and her simple words struck me right in my heart. She had always been kind to me and from the moment we talked, she had been such a light in my life. I realised I not only wanted to share my emotions and feelings with Matt but also with Allie to show her that I appreciated her.

I wanted to be better for both of them.

"How long do we have to stay there?" Chris whined as he threw his head onto the table dramatically and Allie rolled her eyes.

"You're acting like you're being held hostage. If you don't wanna go it's fine," Allie responded, her tone quietening at the end and I could sense the slight sadness at Chris's distaste for prom.

"Al, I told you I'm going and I'll stick to that. I just don't wanna be there for five hours," he lifted his head up to look at her and she shrugged, eyes glancing at the table.

"We can leave early and go back to my house," she offered and Chris's mouth broke into a smile as he nodded.

"Works for me," he said triumphantly before sitting up again, resting his elbows on the table in front of him.

"How are we getting there?" Mia asked, looking around at the group and I just sat there in silence, deciding to go along with whatever plan I knew Allie had already set up.

"Meet up at my house at five thirty so we can take photos and make sure we have everything and then we will leave at like six-thirty to get to the hotel," Allie explained the plan and everyone seemed to hum along in agreement. I felt Matt's arm snake further around my back as he scooted closer to me.

"How are we getting there?" Nick asked and Allie smiled as she adjusted her ponytail.

"I got us a limo," she announced happily and Mia showed her first sign of happiness of the day as she squealed excitedly, "You guys won't drink right?"

Matt and his brothers shook their heads with a firm no and Allie turned to look at me and I shrugged, "Depends on what it is."

"Bottle of champagne in the limo?" Mia asked Allie and Allie nodded causing Mia's smile to widen.

"You're dad won't arrest us if we drink?" Nate asked, the half-hearted joke not landing well with Mia as she rolled her eyes.

"Not if he doesn't know," she pointed out with a slight smirk and Nate raised his eyebrows before nodding in agreement.

"Did you find a dress?" Nate asked, turning his attention to me as he attempted to make conversation. I assumed that in the time I'd been in my other classes and was outside Matt had talked to Nate, Chris and Nick since they weren't glaring at me anymore but they still felt slightly standoffish.

"No. I'm just gonna make my own," I explained and he nodded, his smile in a downturned smile.

"Mad impressive that you can do that," he complimented me and I gave him a half-hearted smile as Matt traced circles on my hip with his thumb.

"Thanks. I just hope I can finish it in time," I explained and I could sense Mia's disgust towards me radiating off of her but I was learning to tune her out like I had always done before Matt came into my life.

Suddenly the bell rang for our next classes and everyone began getting up. I stood up from the table before Matt spun me around and kissed my lips gently. I froze for a moment, shocked at the fact he did that in the middle of the cafeteria but I quickly reciprocated the action before he pulled away.

"See you after school pretty girl," he smirked at me before he walked away and I stood still for a moment as I watched him walk away with Nick, Chris, Nate and Mia.

"You guys are so fucking cute it makes me want to throw up," Allie rolled her eyes playfully beside me and I looked around to see people staring at me once again. I pursed my lips, my cheeks tinging red as I hid a smile and shook my head before I began walking out of the cafeteria.

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