#11:27pm

[xwyyxx]

[chapstick404offical]

giving you a basket of warm cookies <3

whoaaaa thankies! (^3^)

[suicide-and-other-comforts]

I have a weird relationship with my mom. I used to think she was the most beautiful person in the world and wanted to be just like her, but I don’t wanna be anything close to that anymore. She was a good mom until my dad started doing his fuck shit. I cry when people yell now because of both of them, but mainly her. I felt so unloved and unwanted as a child. I remember when she was in the hospital for months and I was living with my grandma and my aunt back and forth. I felt like I didn’t have parents anymore, I barely saw either of them. I went weeks without seeing either of them. I remember seeing my mom so frail and sickly, it was one of the scariest times of my life. I remember when my dad died like the back of my hand, any sense of innocence I had left was gone after that. You don’t ever recover from watching someone die in front of you, especially a parent. I was so young, no 11 year old should have to see that. I remember the weeks and months after that. No food in the house, no heat, no electricity, no hot water, no love, no support. I remember her yelling at the top of her lungs every day over things that didn’t matter in the long run. I lost my father, my only father, does a dirty dish really matter in the grand scheme of things? I remember being beat every day and her turning a blind eye to it. I remember skipping meals and sleeping when I was hungry instead. I remember being constantly sick from being in the cold too much. I remember not having enough money for pads or socks. I remember eating toast and ramen every day. I remember her telling me that I was turning into a person she didn’t like, at 10 years old. Being around her didn’t feel like walking on eggshells, it felt like walking on thumbtacks. I remember locking myself in my room and pushing all my furniture in front of my door to escape the abuse. I remember her telling me to deal with my problems myself. I remember getting my hair pulled, being choked, being punched and having things thrown at me for just defending myself. I remember being so lonely. Lonely to the point where I ended up in multiple abusive relationships just to feel something and to escape her. She put all her attention into the men she was seeing, but would never admit it. I was being raped and abused every night while she was blissfully asleep in the next room. I went to her room late at night one time when I was having a panic attack, and she told me to go to sleep and leave her alone. She told me no man would want to see my body after what I done to it and that I was useless. She told me she doesn’t like me as a person. Whenever I begged her for help, I just got punished instead. Then, got more punishment for the ways I figured out how to survive. I was only trying to get through the day, i swear. She was never there for me, but will take it to the grave that she did everything for me. I was an unwanted child, I was excess. I was always overlooked and undervalued. Nothing I did was good enough and I’m a failure for not doing more. The doctors recommended that she get an abortion when she was pregnant with me because I wasn’t supposed to be carried nearly as far as she carried me for, and I wish she just did it. She gave birth to a child she didn’t want and she never let me forget it. She never outwardly told me that, but the way I was constantly ignored said enough. The only time I got attention was from the multiple times she caught me cutting myself and the times I tried killing myself. Instead of comforting me and talking to me, she told me I was stupid and selfish and threw me into therapy. I skipped a lot of school, I did a lot of drugs, and I destroyed my body multiple times and she still couldn’t see that all I needed was my mother. She just cared about the next paycheck and her at the time boyfriend. I knew she didn’t really care about my well being when she pressured me to drop out of college to work more to pay the bills. I never had a chance. I’m tired of constantly trying to scratch my way to the surface with no help. I lost both parents the day my father died.

[listeningtoabundleofpodcasts]

Not Episode Related - On Episode MAG 129

i need to make fanart of this stupid little comic i NEED to oh my god i will actually start crying uncontrollably if i dont make fanart soon

[kotonni]

Actually I just came to the realization that the appealing parts about Ascended Astarion are not even exclusive to Ascended Astarion.

Spawn Astarion WOULD still make tav kneel once in a while for a kiss, he WOULD be rough and have possessive pet names that border on objectifying, not because he has a blinding lust for power, just because the man is a menace and loves to be dominating.

[vampyrobot]

Hm, my theory personally is that our little character is apart of some sort of utopia project that was started after order loss to prove that “stability and comfort is the best way”, but something got silly and now we gotta make inkopolis square colorful again with the help of our new lesbian aunties (off the hook)

[charlies-trainhopping]

Mmmmmm

⭐️sterile yogurt⭐️

[jeonghantis]

[ 11:27 PM ]

pairing ⇝ jeon wonwoo x reader.

tags ⇝ angst, smut, exes that still fuck

warnings ⇝ language, graphic sexual content, gn!reader but female body parts, ambiguous ending(?), emotional pain. lmk if i missed anything

word count ⇝ close to 1.4k words

minors do not interact.

smut tags under cut.

smut tags ⇝ marking, slow to rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie, praise, dirty talk. pls lmk if i missed anything

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” murmured Jeon Wonwoo as he greatly contrasted his uttered words when he sinks teeth into the flesh of your shoulder, adding another splotch of red to the array he’s left all over your chest.

You mirrored his sentiment, but did not speak it aloud. Instead, you let your body betray you as well, bucking your lower frame against his with your fingers threading through his dark curls, pulling him impossibly closer than he already was.

Wonwoo groaned, his warm breath caressing your skin, and his hands gripped your waist to pin you back down onto the mattress for his hips to dig deeply into yours. You feel him growing heavily against your clothed, throbbing core, and you let out a whimper both at the relieving pressure of it and at how it’s immediately not enough.

“Shit, you’re driving me crazy,” he grunted, tearing his mouth away from your neck to stare you down, lust a glimmering onyx in his eyes. “This is the last time I’ll ask you. Are you sure you want this?”

No, you wanted to say. No, because I’ll miss you again when it’s over. The pain that came after it all was excruciating. It blooms in your chest, slowly searing through your veins until you’re consumed whole and forced to feel nothing else. You’ll be haunted again once he walks out your door, seeing wisps of his smile when you shut your eyes and hearing the echoes of his laughter when the room goes still. No, you did not want it, but this was the closest you’ll get to having what you both once had. You wanted that again. You wanted more than this.

But again, you did not speak it aloud. You reached for his face and pulled him in for a kiss and let it all fade—the worry, the fear, and the pain. You focused on the feeling of his mouth, how you once believed it was a perfect fit on yours and how it still was. There was a moment of hesitation from Wonwoo before he’s easing up on you, having your lips meld in tandem with each other in a steady rhythm. 

Then you’re removing clothing off of each other’s heated bodies, leaving them strewn all over your bedroom floor without so much of a care. You’re still kissing him when he aligns himself at your weeping slit, then you’re parting your lips with a broken moan when he slips inside. He moves quickly to press kisses against your face, thumb swiping at a stray tear trickling down your cheek, as sweet praises fall from him.

“That’s it, angel,” he whispered over your ear before placing his lips against your forehead. “Relax for me a bit more, okay? You’re doing so well.”

You’re sobbing into his shoulder, sounding like an absolute mess of babbles, but you could not help it when you finally felt so complete. The hollow ache carved deep inside you was repleted to the brim, healing everything marred by the pain of your yearning. You let yourself savor it all, trying to commit every feeling to memory, because at the end of it all, you knew it was all temporary. No matter how many times you fall into bed with Jeon Wonwoo, the pleasure was fragile and fleeting, and you’d always be left alone more wounded than you were at the beginning.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked softly, cradling your cheek with his palm, concern scrawled over his face.

You nod, trying for a smile with quivering lips as you lean into the warmth of his hand. “I am,” you said, voice cracking. “I’m okay. You can move now.”

He gave you an apprehensive look, unbelieving. But you quickly flatten your soles out on the bed as leverage as you begin to slowly fuck yourself up on him, to distract him from seeing past your crumbling self.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo exhaled out shakily, sparing a moment just to watch yourself use him so desperately, completely at awe and completely turned on by it all. After a few very messy strokes you make, he takes the reins, grabbing your thighs to spread them widely apart before pounding hard into you. His ruthless pace trembles your bones and you could do nothing but let him abuse your cunt as you whine high in pitch and volume. 

“Still so tight,” Wonwoo groaned, face pressed against your throat as he began to mouth at it, sucking and licking at your pulse points. “You haven’t let anyone else fuck your cunt, haven’t you?”

Your confirmation came out as an airy mewl, your arms thrown over his torso and nails digging into the muscled expanse of his back, drawing red angry lines all over.

The next thing he says catches you off guard, completely throwing you in a loop of great disarray and bliss. “This pussy is still mine, yeah?” Wonwoo had growled, emphasizing with a hand brought to press down hard on your clit. “All mine?”

You’re gasping, arcing into him with pleasure singing throughout your body. “Yes!” you sob out again. “It’s yours. All yours, Wonwoo. I’m all yours.”

When that last sentence left your lips, you’re immediately alarmed with a sharp intake of breath, your gaze frantic as you search Wonwoo’s face. But Wonwoo wore a smile, eyes glinting. Before you could really take in what that had meant, his fingers worked deft circles on your clit and his hips angle just right to brush against the golden nerves settled deep in you. 

It was messy. Moisture daubed the dips and curves of your bodies as you continued to seek after your own highs. Wonwoo’s movements had become increasingly heedless by the second, almost animalistic. The repeated, pointed thrusts against the nerves inside you had you sobbing into Wonwoo’s neck once again. The clenching, warm walls around Wonwoo had him heaving, his chest staggering. 

Then, your eyes meet. Reflecting flames of want flared.

Wonwoo pressed against you hard, fitting snugly inside as he painted your inner walls with thick, hot cum. The moan that left Wonwoo was both lecherous and heavenly at the same time, his large frame completely maddened by violent tremors of his orgasm.

You were just as gone, your eyes rolled up all the way to your skull. When you feel his warm release, your lust and greed are quick to possess you. Your hips lift again and ride out the waves of Wonwoo’s orgasm, milking out every single drop of cum out of his system. Wonwoo, though completely overtaken by his bliss, meets your pace albeit very sloppily but determined. It only takes a couple of more strokes until a vicious shudder ricochets throughout your body. Your mouth goes slack with one last cry of Wonwoo’s name, your cunt pulsing violently around the still-spurting length as your own arousal gushes out, making a mess between your heaving bodies. 

It’s silent for a while, only the sound of your breathing and his breaking through the air. Your bodies, slicked of sweat and mixed arousals, were heavy with exhaustion, barely moving as you both splay out on the mattress beside each other. You looked at each other and an air of uncertainty floated around you, just like it had many times before.

You were about to break the gaze away first, to head first into your bathroom to clean yourself up and save yourself from the sight of Wonwoo leaving. But for the second time that night, Wonwoo catches you off guard and reaches a hand out to hold onto your wrist.

“Stay,” he said. A word you wish you had said since the day you both decided to end your relationship. An action you wished he had done.

“Wonwoo,” you start off shakily.

“Just for while,” he insisted, eyes pleading. “Please?”

You chew on your bottom lip, hesitating. But your heart gave out in the end, and you lay right back down, inside the comforting cage of Wonwoo’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo breathed, pressing his lips against your temple. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” you whispered back and nestled closer into his warmth, concealing your teary gaze away.

There, you lay together enveloped in silence, matching the rise and falls of each other’s chest, and settle in the flickering embers of the love you had for one another.

note: woof. i know this was random, but i feel like i had to get the angst out of me to move on to other writings. this is completely self-indulgent and written in one go. so once again, this is not proofread. i hope you enjoyed reading nonetheless :)

[mft-toyama]

なんか書こうと思って、AWAMOJIの話を振り返ります。富山の展示、20年以上の常設展示が終わってしまいました。 https://t.co/UScUlXewmv

— Shinya Matsuyama (@gff02521) Mar 11, 2023

[wumblr]

so let me see if i understand this correctly. two days ago, at an unspecified time, the carrier picked up the package. then, at 3:27pm, the package arrived at an unspecified facility. then, at 6:03pm, the same package arrived, again, at the same facility. the next day, at 6:28 and 7:07, the package departed the facility. then, the following day, at 10:10, 10:21, and 11:33am, the package arrived three times... it would seem we are observing the first known incident of nuclear fission at the macro-scale. by thursday this may be catastrophic

[solis-solaire]

It would be very. cool. 👁️👁️

How cool would it be if I designed a whole ass magical girl outfit for Manfred ?

[uc1wa]

18+ minors dni

tags: nudes, mentions of penetrative sex

11:24pm jason: when does your class end again?

11:27pm jason: just saw the pictures you took on my phone last night

11:35pm jason: do you want me to call you and pretend that you have an emergency? i’ll say somebody died lol

11:45pm jason: attachment: two images

the class, that was undeniably and exhaustingly lecture heavy, was excruciating to sit in the two days a week that you did. the professor continuing to talk, reading off the powerpoint slides he presented, without a single spare elaboration.

it was exhausting every day that you had to enter the room, and as per usual, your hands had gotten tired and had the mind of their own to find your phone, smiling to yourself as you read the multiple messages from your boyfriend.

the part about him calling you made you laugh to yourself, opening the messages on your phone to view the images he had sent you.

and all too quickly, your eyes widen, heart drops, and phone slams against your desk space a little too loudly. thankfully, in the spacious and filled lecture hall, only the three students that sat near you gave you a look, to which you apologize quietly.

what a blessing it was that you were sat at the end of the row, nobody in the seat directly behind you, because if you angle your phone just right, your eyes have the ability to look at the pictures jason sent you once more. this time with awareness of just what the man had sent you.

the first, a cuter and more innocent looking one. a high angled selfie that make jason’s eyes widen naturally as he looks up to the camera, lip puckered out teasing and jokingly. the angle showing his abdomen that has no shirt covering it. a shadow underneath his pecs that make them look meaty and strong. his abs that he doesn’t have to flex, even in his sitting position protrude, ripple by ripple. his shoulders that are broad and big cover the expanse of background that you presume is desk space.

the picture alone could be saved for later when you get back home, touching yourself under covers. but you have to bring a hand to cover your mouth at the second picture he sent.

you knew what jason’s cock looked like. hell, you could describe in detail how it felt to be inside of you! but the look of it, all hard and begging for attention, does enough to make you squeeze your legs close and close your eyes for a second to bring yourself back to earth. opening to re-examine the photo.

it was lewd how his pre dripped down the sides of his length, milky lines running down along big veins that you had begun to memorize. veins that, when jason bottomed out in you slow enough, you could feel pressing against your walls. his tip that was an angry shade of red, the shade that gave you the knowledge that jason worked himself up just to take this photo for you. the shade of red that showed he had an internal battle with himself to not finish, to achingly take his hands from his cock just to flash a photo to send you as your sat rows of seats in front of your professor.

just as you swipe away from the photo, jason’s continuing to text you. his eyes reading over the read receipt that you’d left him.

12:05pm jason: might enroll in some of your classes next semester for fun

12:06pm jason: sit in the back so nobody sees and finger your pretty self under the table. wouldn’t let you wear underwear btw

12:07pm jason: i know my baby isn’t leaving me on read :(

12:08pm jason: gonna come to your place and fuck you against the window when you get back since you wanna show my cock in front of your whole class

12:08pm jason: your neighbors wouldn’t mind, you think?

the pink on your cheeks doesn’t fade as you continue reading the texts your boyfriend sends you. your eyes widening with every one delivered and heat growing embarrassingly fast in your pants. your fingers begin to find their way against your keyboard, but pause once a longer message finds your phone.

12:10pm jason: gonna fuck you so good that you drool on your window. lol it would be cute if you wore some lipstick too, wanna see how big of a mess you can make. gonna clean it rn just to show you how much of a slut you are for my cock

12:11pm jason: see you soon baby :)

[hischierswhore]

santa doesn't know you like i do (n. hischier)

a note from nat: day 2 of the ficmas series!!!

content warnings: none!!!

It was Christmas Eve, and the apartment felt far too empty. The holiday season, usually your favorite time of year, felt hollow without Nico around. The sight of the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room only made things worse, its lights blinking softly against the quiet hum of the heater.

You sighed, sinking into the couch with your oversized sweater swallowing you whole. The steaming mug of hot cocoa on the coffee table looked inviting, but it wasn’t enough to fill the ache in your chest. You hadn’t realized how much Nico’s absence would affect you.

You and Nico were roommates & best friends. Sure you were used to him being gone a lot, but this was the first time he’d decided to go back to Switzerland for the holidays, leaving you at your apartment by yourself for the holidays.

He’d texted you earlier — something about him going to sleep earlier than usual because of time zones. You’d stared at the message, fingers hovering over the keyboard before finally replying with a half-hearted Alright, goodnight, Neeks. Miss you.

He hadn’t responded.

The truth was, you missed him more than you wanted to admit. Nico had been your rock for years, your best friend and partner in crime. He was the one who always helped you untangle Christmas lights, insisted on baking cookies even though he’d burn half the batch, and stayed up late watching cheesy holiday movies with you. This year, you were left to do it all alone.

Or so you thought.

A knock at the door jolted you out of your thoughts. Your brow furrowed as you glanced at the clock—11:27PM. Who could possibly be visiting you at this hour?

You shuffled to the door, wrapping your sweater tighter around you. Opening it, your breath caught in your throat.

“Nico?”

There he was, standing on your doorstep, looking slightly sheepish and impossibly handsome. Snow dusted his dark hair, and his cheeks were flushed from the cold. He was bundled in a hoodie & his signature beanie, a suitcase slung at his side, and a gift-wrapped box in his hands.

“Hi,” he said, his voice soft but steady.

You stared at him, your mind racing. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Switzerland?”

“Yeah, about that...” He shifted his weight, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I may have kind of sort of lied about all that…"

“I'm so confused” You asked, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Nico was actually standing in front of you.

You stepped aside, letting him into the warm apartment. He set his suitcase and gift down before looking at you with those warm, honest eyes. “I couldn’t let you spend Christmas all alone, and I couldn’t spend Christmas away from you.”

The words hung in the air, the weight of them settling in your chest.

“What are you saying, Nico?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair as he gathered his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time—too long, probably. And I didn’t want to let another holiday pass without telling you how I feel.”

You swallowed hard, your gaze locked on his.

“I’m in love with you,” he said, his voice steady and filled with conviction. “I’ve been in love with you for years, and it’s been driving me crazy not to say anything. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to come home and tell you.”

Your chest tightened, emotions bubbling to the surface as tears pricked your eyes. “Nico...”

He held your gaze, his vulnerability laid bare. “If you don’t feel the same, I understand. But I needed you to know.”

You didn’t respond—not with words, at least. Instead, you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing, his arms circling your waist.

“I love you too,” you whispered against his shoulder, your voice trembling.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes searching yours. “You do?”

You nodded, a smile breaking through your tears. “Of course I do. You’re my favorite person in the world, Nico. I’ve just been too scared to say anything because I didn’t know if you felt the same.”

His expression softened, his smile growing as he cupped your face with one hand. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

He leaned in slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away. When you didn’t, his lips met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. It was everything you’d imagined and more—warm, gentle, and filled with the unspoken promise of something new.

When you finally pulled apart, you both couldn’t stop smiling.

“I can’t believe you lied to me just to surprise me on Christmas Eve,” you said, your voice filled with wonder.

“I had to do what I had to do” he replied, brushing a stray hair from your face.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, talking and laughing as the snow fell softly outside. The gift he’d brought turned out to be a pair of matching ornaments—one for you and one for him—symbolizing all the Christmases you’d share from now on.

And as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you couldn’t help but think that this was the best Christmas you’d ever had.

[ferrarifinnick]

time zones | charles leclerc 16

charles leclerc x reader

in different cities, plagued by different time zones, charles misses your phone calls once again. suddenly things don't seem so sustainable anymore.

note: hate to do it to you, but here's some angst. get those tissues ready and prepare to clutch those pearls. also, first charles fic! what do we think? love <3

masterlist

warnings: angst, long distance relationship, miscommunication, heartache, sad charles poor charles :(

700 words

7:02am.

Charles stared at the blurry numbers on his phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen and the sunlight pouring into his bedroom. He squeezed his eyes shut when he noticed the notifications from you. Three texts, two calls. All unanswered.

The first text, at 11:58pm.

I just finished work. I'll call you on the way home. Can't wait to hear your voice. I need it.

Charles' chest hurt. 11:58pm, minutes after he must have dozed off. He had tried so hard to keep his eyes open but his day had been so long and sleep was fighting a good battle against him.

At midnight is when the first missed call came through. It would've been 5pm for you. You would be getting out of work and Charles would be about to get into bed. You would've just got to your car, set up Google Maps, and called him. That was the only time you could find to chat to each other lately, and Charles had missed it.

Worse yet, he let you drive home with the disappointment of waiting all day to hear his voice, only to still be alone come night time.

Twenty six minutes later, at your 5:27pm and his 12:27am, the second text came through.

I made it home safe. I saw you got P2, congratulations! Very well deserved my love. Are you still awake?

That's when the next call came through.

Charles knew that you'd have been upset when he didn't answer. He knew you'd be holding back the intrusive thoughts. The what-ifs, the tears, the disappointment. It would have been keeping you up much later when you'd be trying to sleep. But he knew what was really eating at you was the hope that he would wake up and light up your phone with an incoming call.

He knew it was true when he saw the text at your 11:03pm and his 6:03am.

I think we've missed each other tonight. I was looking forward to hearing your voice, but I hope you celebrated that win well. Congratulations on P1 my love, well deserved. Goodnight.

He stared at the time of your last text, your 11:03pm and his 6:03am. One hour ago. You'd barely been asleep for an hour and here he was waking up to start his day. By the time you'd wake up, he'd be in meetings. By the time he'd get out, you'd be in work. By the time you'd finish, he'd be going to sleep.

Charles squeezed his eyes shut. Distance was never easy, but this wasn't the first time you'd missed your small window to talk to each other. It had been happening a lot lately. He knew it was hurting you because it was killing him.

He opened the tab on his phone of flights that neither of you could take. He was stuck where he was, and you were stuck elsewhere. There was never time. Something always changed the circumstances for the worse, and Charles sank his shoulders in defeat.

He deleted the tab on his phone.

Opening your messages, he sent his own reply.

Good morning, mon amour. I'm sorry we missed each other last night. I hope you're sleeping well. I'll call you after you finish work.

He stared at your missed calls again. There was nothing he could do except stare at them and wish they weren't real.

The alarms he forgot to set would have urged him out of bed over half an hour ago, and so he got himself up and dressed for the meeting he was about to be late to, but he couldn't open the door of his lifeless hotel room.

Guilt gnawed at his stomach. It wasn't fair of him to make you live this way for him. You deserved more than a short phone call every couple of days, and he realised that the only way for that to ever change was if you were here with him.

But he knew deep down that following him around the world wasn't what you wanted. While he could give you security, he couldn't give you stability. That's what you wanted more than anything, and that's when he finally realised, after suffering the long distance for so long, that there were two things in life that meant most to him.

The job and the girl.

He wanted both. But as he opened the door of his hotel room, he realised he could only have one. He had to pick. But he knew it wasn't really a choice. There was only one option.

And it wasn't the girl.

[megameatymatt]

Cookies and Cuts - Jake Webber

summary: Jake find's out about Y/N sh

WARNINGS: swearing, SH (self h@rm), Mentions of blood, Mentions of blades, crying, Mentions of su!c!de, angst, panic attack, overthinking??, mention of death, fem!reader.

requested: yup! right here

word count: 1,029

A/N: Feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! stay slutty ok bye💋

--------------------------------------------------------------

pink: y/n

red: Jake webber

9:45pm

"Did you buy the chocolate chips?" You say walking into Jake's kitchen. "How could I forget the chocolate chips?" he says taking a bowl out of the cabinet.

Jake had invited you to his place to make cookies while Johnnie and Carrington were out doing whatever the fuck they were doing. You and Jake have been dating for the past 4 and a half months now.

But no matter how many times he's said he loves you, you're always too scared to get close to him. scared that he might find out about the cuts on your arms, thighs, and anywhere else. You've never brought it up to anyone. Not Jake, not Carrington, nobody.

You hated your scars, they made you feel ugly. but you couldn't stop. cutting became somewhat of an addiction, Your only way to cope. It started with just a way to deal with stress, but now, even a minor inconvenience could send you back to the blades, the blood, and the bandages.

Sometimes, you would look at other girls and wish you could swap bodies. You'd take their clean arms and thighs, and you could give them yours. At least they'd have enough confidence to show their scars and not hide under hoodies and long pants.

"Brown sugar?" you say scrolling on your phone as you read through the recipe. "Yup, up here". He walks over and swings the cabinet door open. As you raise your hand up to reach for the sugar, your sleeve rolls up a bit.

You quickly grab the sugar and put your arm back down. But it was too late, Jake had already seen the red cuts that drew across your wrist. You weren't completely sure if he saw it or not, but you avoided his gaze, hoping he wouldn't say anything.

And he didn't. He watches you grab milk from the fridge. As you finally set everything up on the table you gain the courage to finally face Jake. He's still by the cabinet, frozen. "Jake? Are you okay?" You already know what he saw, but you're still trying to play it off.

"Uhm, yeah. I'm fine, just zoned out" He's lying through his teeth. You're not mad he tried to brush it off, you're just scared he won't love you anymore. "Great, let's make cookies!" you say forcing your face into a smile. He smiles back, but his mind is elsewhere, you take a deep breath and start prepping the ingredients.

11:27pm

"I still can't believe you burnt a whole tray of cookies, what a waste!" You say climbing into Jake's bed. "I was a bit distracted okay?" he says pulling the sheets over the two of you. "Yeah, whatever." You say, rolling your eyes.

You've been trying to ignore the situation, but it's been hard. He just went silent, he wasn't cracking jokes or being stupid, he was too scared to even get close to you. You wanted to curl up in a ball and die. You couldn't take it anymore

You pull out your phone and scroll through Instagram. "Hey Y/N?" You turn to face him, His head down fidgeting with his fingers. Then he looks up. "A-, are you okay?" He says staring into your eyes. Your heart drops into your stomach. "Yeah, Yeah i-im good" "You sure?" "Yeah, why are you asking?" He reaches for your arm and rolls your sleeve up to your elbow. His eyes grow wide when he sees your scars, Old and new scattered across your forearm. You quickly snatch your arm away from him and your gaze falls into your lap. Tears threaten to roll down your cheeks and your hands start shaking.

I Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He hates me. What am i doing here? He can't love a girl like me. Why am I like this?

You drown in your thoughts for what feels like forever, then you hear his voice. "Why?" He sounds like he's holding back tears, his voice cracking. But you can't look at him, you don't want to see what you've done, how you've hurt him. You quickly shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. You don't know what to say, where you should start, or if you should even speak at all. Your breathing starts getting faster and he quickly shuffles beside you and holds you. "It's okay, you're fine, just breathe Y/N. In and out, you'll be fine, you'll be just fine"

12:35pm

You've been calm for a while now, but you still haven't said a word. Neither has Jake, he just sat there, pressing your back against his chest. "Why'd you do it? Cause of me? How can I help you get better?" You only knew the answer to one of those questions "No, never because of you. I love you" You choke out. "So what, why'd you do it." He keeps asking you "why", but not even you know the answer to that question. "I don- I don't know, Jake."

You want to cry again, but you hold back. "I-I guess it was a-a way of coping? With l-like stress, and my thoughts." Jake's crying again but you can't bring yourself to look at him. "What are your 'thoughts'?" he says wiping tears off his cheeks. What aren't your thoughts? You shrug your shoulders and Jake asks another question.

"Why'd you never tell me? Have you ever tried to, um, attempt?" Jake struggled and hesitated to get his question out. You knew you didn't have to answer it if you didn't want to. But you did answer it. Talking about it out loud to someone was starting to help you piece your thoughts together. "Scared" you reply bluntly.

"Scared to die? or scared to tell me?" You choke up, failing to hold back your tears. "B-both". He slowly nods to himself trying to understand.

"Do you still wanna talk about this?" He asks worried he might be making you uncomfortable. "Do you wanna know anything else?" you say. "Will you quit?" The question immediately brings you to tears. "It's ok baby, I'm here for you. You're not alone. I wanna help you, i still love you."

tags: @zumarockkkkkkkkk @loveyouuuuuuuuuuuu1 @sturnobsessedwh0re

[leclercvsx]

I miss your facts | TEXTING AU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x reader

summary: y/n and lando are bestfriends, y/n liking lando. She introduces him to one of her bestfriends, he forgets about her and only realises what he missed when it’s too late

warnings: mentions of suicide!

y/n <3

did you know that some sharks can’t stop swimming otherwise they’ll die?

Lan <3

that’s useful, thanks

y/n <3

EXACTLY! i knew i was needed

Lan <3

you’re always needed

11:23am | thursday

y/n <3

i miss you, can you come over after training?

Lan <3

i will, might be a little while though

y/n <3

don’t take tooo long

14:56pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

did you know that there’s over 500 different species of sharks?

Lan <3

i didn’t know that, no. cool

y/n <3

OH ALSO

there’s a new girl at my work, she’s super nice

you should come meet her!

Lan <3

i might

10:35am | Saturday

Lan <3

you were right, Taylor is actually really nice

y/n <3

SEE? I TOLD YOU

me and her are gonna hang out on tuesday if you wanna come

Lan <3

sure

16:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

australia is wider than the moon

you should tell Oscar that

Lan <3

Taylor told me that

y/n <3

oh really? wow she really knows her facts!

Lan <3

yeah, she’s pretty smart

18:18pm | Saturday

y/n <3

do you wanna hang out?

i’m bored

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor rn

y/n <3

oh, nevermind then😊

12:25pm | Sunday

y/n <3

human teeth are the only body part that cannot heal themselves

Lan <3

i know, Taylor told me

y/n <3

it’s illegal to own just ONE guinea pig in switzerland

Lan <3

Taylor’s from Switzerland, she told me

17:34pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

the heart of the shrimp is located in the head!

Lan <3

the shrimps heart is located in the head

y/n <3

haha, we said the same thing!!

Lan <3

Taylor told me the fact, haha

y/n <3

ohh

9:27am | Thursday

y/n <3

do you have time? i really wanna talk about something

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor right now, but what’s up?

y/n <3

oh okay, nevermind then :)

17:26pm | Monday

Lan <3

octopuses are so weird, they’re cool looking though

y/n <3

i thought you hated octopuses?

Lan <3

i did before.

but Taylor told me some cool facts about them

y/n <3

i did that with sharks🙃

14:27pm | Friday

y/n <3

you’ve been hanging out with Taylor a lot

Lan <3

anything wrong?

y/n <3

nothings wrong, i just miss you

Lan <3

i’m not leaving you though.

y/n <3

no, i know

13:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

hiiii! do you wanna hang out?

hello?

read

16:56pm | Wednesday

Lan <3

sorry i was hanging out with Taylor

y/n <3

i know.

Lan <3

why are you mad?

y/n <3

i’m not?

Lan <3

why is it so wrong that i’m hanging out with her?

18:34pm | Sunday

y/n <3

you’re forgetting me.

lando

i’m not though?

hello?

answer me.

i’m not forgetting you.

14:30pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

you’re all i have, had.

lando

why are you using dots? don’t scare me

y/n <3

is Taylor all you needed?

lando

stop.

17:25pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

i’m sorry

lando

for what?

stop leaving me on read, please.

stop scaring me.

you’re not funny.

18:45pm | Thursday

lando

i miss you

i was dumb

i’m really sorry

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise

i really wanted to tell you, i miss your facts. i love you. i hope one day we meet again

you could’ve told me about Taylor. i reread our messages, i saw that you needed me

i’m sorry

12:34pm | Sunday

lando

you looked really pretty at your funeral today

i miss you

pez candles were made for you, so you could stop smoking

i could smell it on you before, now i miss it.

3:34am | Tuesday

lando

sharks skin feels like sandpaper.

7:17am | Wednesday

lando

sharks are one of the oldest living species on the earth.

but you knew that, right?

——————————

this made me sob writing it😭

ib: this tiktok

masterlist | request page