#rambo 1 and 4 are good though

[alastairft]

This is the poster for every American Conservative Faith Drama

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM 18 in Tokyo Dome Review (Jan 4th, 2024)

New Japan Rambo **

IWGP Jr. Tag Team Championship - Clark Connors & Drilla Moloney vs. TJP & Francesco Akira ***1/4

NJPW World TV Championship - Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi ****

Yota Tsuji vs. Yuya Uemura ***1/2

Shota Umino & Kaito Kiyomiya vs. EVIL & Ren Narita ***1/4

NEVER Openweight Championship - Shingo Takagi (c) vs. Tama Tonga ****1/2

IWGP Tag Team & STRONG Openweight Tag Championship Double Title Match - Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. El Phantasmo & Hikuleo ***3/4+

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship - Hiromu Takahashi (c) vs. El Desperado ****1/4

Inaugural IWGP Global Championship Match - Will Ospreay vs. Jon Moxley vs. David Finlay ****1/2

Kazuchika Okada vs. Bryan Danielson *****

IWGP World Heavyweight Championship - SANADA (c) vs. Tetsuya Naito ****1/4

Photos.

This show ruled. Full disclosure, I've fallen behind with NJPW in the last couple of years, and only really get to fully see the major shows, so going in this looked like a solid little card on paper, so my expectations weren't exactly sky high. However, the New Japan crew knocked it out of the park with an excellent, Show of the Year contender. Things started as they always do: The annual "cram everyone humanly possible onto the card" Rambo. We all know what to expect here, and this was better than a lot of previous offerings, but the surprise appearance of Fujita "Jr" Hayato in this years really raised it up for me, as I'm always super pleased to see him back in the ring after all he's been through. Takashi Iizuka turning up was also a nice surprise (absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that), and it was a kick to be transported back to 2013 with him mercilessly going after poor Shimpei Nogami on commentary. The ending though was very deja vu, as I could have sworn some incredibly similar variant of this was the outcome last year. The final four of Great-O-Khan, Taiji Ishimori, YOH and Toru Yano advanced to face off for the KOPW Title tomorrow.

The main show started in style with the prerequisite Jr Tag Title Match, which featured TJP debuting his new demon gimmick, The Aswang, because he was locked in a casket when last we saw him, you see. My English feed froze at the opening bell on the Aswang mask for ages, and by the time I'd gotten back onto the Japanese feed, I'd missed like three minutes of this, there were brawls all over ringside, The Aswang was wearing a dog collar, and Moloney was bleeding. The final 5 or so minutes I did see were pretty damn good though, so that's what my rating is based on. TJP got this win for him and Akira after he blew the dreaded Dokukiri into Drilla's face, then Catch 22 hit the double knees to regain the titles at 9:38. Next up, President Tanahashi put an end to the 365 day TV Title reign of ZSJ in an excellent 8:53 sprint. These guys always have excellent matches together, and this was no exception. They worked a fast-paced thriller, which boiled down to them hitting a sequence of cradle reversals, before Tana counter a Zack Victory Roll into one of his own, and won the belt to a big pop. President Ace thanked everyone for coming in the post match, and wished us all a Happy New Year. Godly.

Career rivals Tsuji and Uemura had their first non-Young Lion outing on a major show next. This was a very good little match, I've always been high on both guys since they were rookies, and I firmly believe they have incredibly bright futures in New Japan, and are destined to be focal points in the years to come. Even though I do wish they'd do more with Yota. The guy came in super hot, with a ton of hype, and now he's kinda just floundering in the mid-card. And more mid-carders is most certainly not something this company needs! They always have really good matches, so add this one to that list, which ended at just under 11 minutes, when Uemura got the much needed win with his beautiful Deadbolt suplex. Fellow future superstar Shota Umino drove into Tokyo Dome on a motorbike to start his and partner, NOAH "Ace" Kiyomiya's tag match against HoT goons EVIL and Ren Narita next. This was going along really nicely, the three young guys all looked great, and the crowd were very much into, until the standard shenanigans started, which lead to a fairly abrupt finish, which saw Narita deck Umino with a steel plated push-up bar, then score the pin with his Double Cross finish at the 7 minute mark.

The fifth bout saw company MVP Shingo defend the NEVER Title against Tama Tonga in a hard-hitting war, which was by far the best match on the show up to this point. The near 30K in attendance were going crazy for this as they hit all their big spots, massive Lariats and Gun Stun counters. After Takagi scored a great near fall with Made in Japan, Tama went to the Bullet Club well, hitting a Gun Stun, Bloody Sunday AND a Styles Clash, before putting Shingo away with the DSD at 13:46 to claim his 4th NEVER Championship. Excellent stuff here, though seemingly Tama announced afterwards that he's finishing up with the company at the end of the month, so him winning is an... interesting decision. The double Tag Title match followed, which was a rematch of the Tag League Final between Bishamon and GoD. This was another great match, a fun sprint which saw the STRONG Champions win both sets of belts after ELP hit Goto with CRIII, and Hikuleo came off the top with a massive, but very unattractive, Big Splash to win the belts in 9:47. Just before this match, Nic Nemeth (the former Dolph Ziggler) and his brother Ryan turned up to sit at ringside. I think we all know there's some kind of angle coming here.

Speaking of career rivals, Hiromu and Despy faced off for the Jr. Heavy Title in the next bout. We've seen many versions of this match in recent history, and they're pretty much always excellent, so this fit that mould no doubt. Things started hot as Despy hit Hiromu with a Tope con Giro as he made his entrance, and they worked 100 mph from there. The challenger worked over the champions leg to set up the Numero Dos, but it wasn't to be. The finish saw Desperado escape the Hiromu Roll, then hit a Jay Driller, kept a hold and nailed Takahashi with a second Pinche Loco to win the strap at the 14:21 mark to end another great outing. We crowned an inaugural IWGP Global champion next, as Ospreay, Moxley and Finlay had a wild Triple Threat Match. This started with Mox and Ospreay agreeing to work together for the first 5 minutes in order to take out Finlay, then turn their attention on each other, before BC War Dogs Alex Coughlin and Gabe Kidd ran in. The babyfaces rallied a comeback though, which saw Ospreay put the invaders through tables with a Swanton Bomb to the outside, and Moxley took a post bump and gigged himself. Which I'm sure will shock many. The finishing stretch was insanely hot as Mox kicked at one from a Hidden Blade, but was put down with Stormbreaker, only for Finlay to hit Ospreay with his new Overkill finish, which is essentially a Brainbuster into a Go 2 Sleep, to become the inaugural Global champion in 22:17. In the post match, Finlay got into a shoving match and pull-apart with Nic Nemeth at ringside, which culminated in Nemeth chasing him to the back. So that looks to be Finlay's first title programme. Finlay going over was 100% the right call, with Ospreay leaving as a full-timer, they need to start making some top guys, and he's a good place to start.

Semi final time, and a true dream match next as Okada faced Danielson in a match I'd spent a good decade fantasy booking. After their slightly disappointing first encounter at Forbidden Door in June, due in no small part by Dragon legit breaking his arm during it, they came out with a lot to prove. And they certainly didn't disappoint this time as they had a superb wrestling encounter based around aggression and emotion. As anyone who's been watching Danielson since the ROH days can attest, when Bryan has a grudge with someone (Morishima, Nigel), he goes all out with the intensity, and it usually produces classics. The pacing, the limb-work, the storytelling, the drama... everything about this was essentially perfect. After Okada broke Danielson's arm in their previous match, Dragon obsessively set out to do the same here. And it lead to his downfall. The American Dragon was coming into this one with a fractured orbital bone, so Okada worked over that for a while too. Okada kicked out of a Busaiku Knee, Danielson locked on the same arm submission he tapped Okada out with at Forbidden Door, but The Rainmaker made the ropes. Dragon then stomped his f'n head in and locked in the LeBell Lock, only for Okada to hit a Rainmaker, but he was in too much pain from his devastated right arm, and couldn't make the cover. Danielson hit a big head kick and another Busaiku Knee, but rather than go for the cover, he elected to do the "Yes!" gimmick in the corner, and try another knee, but Okada hit an Emerald Flowsion, a Landslide, then another Rainmaker to fall on top of Dragon, and score the surprise win at the 23:24 (which it felt half of, by the way). This was a masterpiece, and I was legitimately shocked when the three count came. I could have watched this for an hour, it left me very much wanting a rubber match, and this is easily the best match of 2024 so far. They bowed to each other and shook hands in the post match.

The Keiji Muto fan club imploded in the main event as former LIJ stablemates Naito and SANADA (who was even dressed like Muto circa 1995), battled for the World Title. This was an excellent match, one that I didn't have a massive amount of interested in going into this show, but they had a really great clash. It's worth mentioning that something happened to SANADA here, I don't know if it was the biceps injury he's been dealing with since G1, or if he seperated his shoulder or something, but he was in noticeable discomfort through this, and it let to some wonky botches near the finish. They tried multiple times to do a Destino counter, but they couldn't pull it off. SANADA hit Dead Fall for the double down, then an Asai DDT, but Naito escaped a second Dead Fall attempt, and went for Valentia, but SANADA countered into an O'Connor Roll for a super close near fall. A Shining Wizard followed, but Naito turned another Dead Fall attempt into one of his own, finally hit Valentia, then finished the champion off with Destino to win his first World title at 25:42. It's worth pointing out that they clashed heads on the way down on the Destino, and Naito got busted open pretty bad over his eye. With Naito having finally won again in the main event of Tokyo Dome, he was about to Finish His Story, when EVIL and Dick Togo, of all people, ran-in in an attempt to ruin things like KENTA did in 2020. However, they hadn't bargained on SANADA, who nailed his former tag partner with a Shining Wizard, and Naito sent Dick packing with a low dropkick. SANADA then let Naito finish the story a decade in the making, and do his "De-Ja-Pon!!!" roll call to end the show and send everyone home happy. Whilst I applaud NJPW for giving SANADA a go, or just giving ANYONE NEW a shot at the top of the card (it's been very Groundhog Day for a long time up there, and this is something I've been encouraging since NAito at WK8!), I don't think it payed off liked they'd hoped. SANADA is a very good worker, and amazing athlete, but he's just missing something that would make him that major star. Which is obviously something Naito has in abundance, so I'm very pleased he got his big win here, as it was pretty much last chance saloon.

This was a tremendous card, not quite as good as last year's, I don't think, but still great, great stuff and well worth checking out. Especially the Okada/Danielson match!

NDT

[accidentalspaceexplorer]

2023 Book Reviews: Science Fiction, Part 1

Third round-up of books I've read this year! This time we're diving into sci-fi, with again a pretty mixed bag (although I loved The Kaiju Preservation Society!)

1. In the Quick by Kate Hope Day: 3/5

Pitch: philosophical SF; girl searches for a missing space ship crew with her uncle's former student

Review: This was recommended to me by the Storygraph algorithm, and it sounded really good! Unfortunately I liked the beginning part of this book more than I liked the end, and two weeks later most of my thoughts were confusion about why the relationships were handled the way they were, and I'd forgotten most of the rest of it. Not a hit, but it had its moments. (Current me stepping in to say that I've almost completely forgotten this now, to the extent that I have no idea what I liked about the beginning anymore...)

2. The Million by Karl Schroeder: 3/5

Pitch: a million people take care of Earth so that every thirty years the other ten billion humans can wake up & party; definitely-not-supposed-to-be-there teen has to solve his "father's" murder without revealing his identity

Review: This was interesting, but it didn't end up being more than that for me. Although I found the concept interesting, I found the ending felt very rushed, and the big character decision didn't feel like it made sense emotionally or that there was enough textual basis to set up it being necessary.

3. The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi: 4.5/5

Pitch: guy looking for a new job ends up signing up to protect kaiju on an alternate-Earth

Review: In his author's note, Scalzi describes this book as a pop song - catchy and fun - and I'd definitely say that's an apt comparison! I had a great time with this, loved reading it, but I doubt it'll stay with me for a long time. I'm likely to recommend it though on the strength of the worldbuilding and fun science shenanigans!

4. Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie Williams: 2/5

Pitch: quick fix machine can tell you what you need to be happy - but can it really???

Review: Once again, proof that my taste in books in 2018 is not up to snuff anymore. I had moved this up to the top of my TBR in 2018 and never made it to it, and I finally got around to it, only to be disappointed. This didn't feel profound, just stupid, and while there were a few storylines I enjoyed, there were a lot that I didn't care about or that actively annoyed me. I'm sure the ending for Pearl is supposed to be profound somehow, that everything in this book is supposed to be a meaningful discussion of capitalism or the alienation of man or something but honestly I just couldn't care less. Not my kind of book

5. You Sexy Thing by Cat Rambo: 4/5

Pitch: retired Admiral in sketchy galactic empire just wants to run a restaurant and stay retired, but ends up running for her life again

Review: It's got a fabulous concept, and this was definitely fun - I liked a lot of the characters in this, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens down the line for them. However, the constantly bouncing perspectives didn't work well for me, and I was clearly supposed to feel more about some of the events of the book than I did, probably because I wasn't attached to the characters as much as I was supposed to. Ultimately, this was fun and I'll definitely read the sequel, but it also isn't a new favorite.

[retphienix]

Helldivers this morning was funny because we won every mission we did, but the turnover rate of randoms who joined and quit the second anything went even a tiny bit wrong (or just not the way they want every round to go) was insanely high lol

Like dude goes rambo on the mega fort while we're doing the objective? He dies once and quits immediately.

Dude watches one of us run like 100m away to drop off the supers/a ton of other samples on extraction and then run back, quits because.... IDK ask him.

Dude watches a player grab the suitcase and go the wrong direction- says nothing- zero communication offered to the confused player- quits immediately.

Dude gets ragdolled by an enemy (join the club, brother, this morning was ragdoll city), quits immediately.

Dude ignores the rest of the team heading to the final objective with only 4 respawns left so he can instead go do the seaf artillery, he dies doing it and instant quits. (brilliant decision making btw)

Like okay guys. Not sure what was up all of your asses today but we won and extracted with a ton of samples + (on most of the missions) the mega fort loot so I guess you get what you deserve or whatever lol

Sometimes you'll join people and they'll go a direction you didn't plan on, or they'll be confused, or your attempt at showing off and playing a solo game won't work out, or hell maybe someone on the team will straight up not be very good at the video game;

If you just.... keep playing, usually it works out. Not sure why they were so trigger happy to leave, especially the like 10 different people who instant quit the second they died doing something they probably shouldn't have been (like attacking the mega first when all 3 others go elsewhere like come on dude, this happened like 4 times lol).

Like dude, more often than not things will just work out- and you might have some extra fun you don't usually get because you get pushed into the corner and have to figure your way out of it.

In other news, FUCKING CHRIST the handful of operations we did (I wasn't host) must have been on a planet that overwrites constellations because every fucking round was heavy dev + missile spam, and with the current updates jank as fuck annoying as sin "everything ragdolls you to death forever" physics it sucked asssssssss.

I mean overall we enjoyed ourselves, but I did hit a point about 2/3 through our session where I got ragdolled 1 too many times because a rocket hit a rock 10m away from me and the game decided "You will now fly, despite the rocket doing no damage, and you will break your neck :)"

Or towards the end I swear the fucking accuracy was cranked up or something because I got direct hit by like 16 rockets back to back to back with some of the directs being WHILE I'M RAGDOLLING THROUGH THE AIR AT MACH SPEEDS, like the game really just wanted us to suffer lmao

GGEZ win though 😏, taking my samples and holding up two middle fingers at those gatling spam missile spam fucks for this morning's ops lol

Not so much at the rando's. It's their prerogative what they do for fun.

[inoxygen]

Picked up a trial for Xbox Game Pass Ultimate and spent the last couple of weeks playing video games. It’s a little laggy to stream them, but the games are free - what a world that we live in! Maybe spoilers, but they’re all a few years old.

Rise/Shadow of the Tomb Raider: They’re really well made games, but at the end of the day, the sequels are more of the same. I played them in the wrong order, but I preferred Rise — the pacing and setting were more interesting, and I rather enjoy the combat (Rambo Lara is a little silly). There’s innovations in Shadow that make it less game-y, but the absurdity has always been part of my fun.  8

Mirror’s Edge Catalyst: Mostly delivers on the original Still Alive trailer, but only through the story missions. Hated everything else about it: the characters suck, the setting makes no sense, load times are too long, and none of the game systems work. I tried too much side content, with its dumb attempts to invent reasons to transport items which are small and fragile, that need to be delivered in person, not a second too late, and has people waiting at both ends. 5

Gears of War (1, 5): Really shallow, but interesting to see how technology and trends change. What’s new doesn’t necessarily add to the game (graphics, environments), or for me, mostly detracts (cutscenes, pointing the drone at doors, non-stop voice lines). Probably alright in co-op. 4

Octopath Traveller II: It’s a chore to play, and supposedly the sequel is already faster than the original. I might be interested in following some stories, but I don’t think you can be under-levelled, so it’s a grind to get there. Didn’t get far enough for the combat to be interesting, but nothing about the job system excites me. 2

Inside: A surprise, sure, but not really deep. The visuals were a challenge for streaming, but it’s mostly straightforward. I think the gameplay is designed to be slightly annoying, and I don’t like that. Better than Limbo. 6

The Lamplighters League: Just wasn’t very compelling — a lack of variety in the opening few hours. I found the real-time portions pretty clunky, which is only in part because of the controller, and the turn based portion felt like an inevitability due to the weak AI. Maybe it gets good later, but I don’t see anything that would make it interesting to me. 5

Slay the Spire: Addictive deck builder. The characters are all really interesting, but the game space is so large that it’s difficult to play intuitively — I still feel like I’m winning by chance, because I don’t want to start memorising enemy attack patterns. 8

Citizen Sleeper: Needs something slightly more engaging to break up the walls of text — I feel like a stressful version where you can’t help everyone, need to risk playing crap dice, or really sacrifice yourself, is more interesting. Some scenarios are really quite touching, though, so I’m glad you can explore everything. I enjoyed the Quinns Quest episode. 8

Citizen Sleeper is probably the only one that made me feel anything.

[argumentl]

Rough notes on Kaoru's Phalaris talk event

(addition/corrections welcome)

※Masuda first picks up on Kaoru's tshirt. Kaoru mentions a few movies of his day Rocky, Rambo etc, and says he was/is a fan of the Goonies. Masuda asks him about Top Gun, and tells him.what Shinya said about it. (Kaoru has seen it and liked it). 

※Masuda tries to start taking about Phalaris, Kaoru says he feels like he already talked about it enough already. But he says with Phalaris it was the first time he had a set aim in mind from the start, and he's pretty happy with the result. There were twists and turns along the way, but it stayed on the right track to completion. 

※He feels like the songs from Phalaris which they played on this tour were easy to get used to/easy to remember.

※They had originally planned to play 13 on this tour, not Hibiki. But if they did that it would just look like they were playing the first 4 songs in order. Kaoru would have prefered 13 though. 

※Kaoru hints that the 25th anniversary tour may be a tour in which you can feel history, and it may also be connected to the song battle, and it may also include songs from Phalaris...but they havnt actually decided any details about the specific content yet. 

※They talk a bit about the setlist for vol:1. They tried picking past songs that would merge well with the atmosphere of phalaris. 

※He feels like the rule of no noise from audience is tougher on the audience than it is on the band. 

※Masuda reminds Kaoru that it is exactly 16 years ago that they went on the Family Values tour, (Aug 4th San Antonio)and he remembers the car trouble they had. Kaoru does not remember this. He remembers the venues, but not how they got there. 

※Masuda then remembers that at the same time the following year, the were in Europe with the band Fair to Midland. Kaoru recalls how they wrote Dozing Green while they were on the road then. He remembers sitting on the stage with the members after rehearsal and discussing the new song. 

※Masuda reminds Kaoru that exactly 24 years ago was the first time the band played in Nakano Sun Plaza. Kaoru thinks it odd that as an indies band 24 years ago they were able to book two days at this venue. But as a 25yr old band, they were only able to book one day. They talk about this venue for a bit, Kaoru says they used to use a studio that was nearby. 

※They talk.about the trend of venues closing. Kaoru mentions the magazine Gigs ending too. Masuda says his first article about Dir en grey was in Gigs. 

※Kaoru wants.a bigger venue to be built in Tokyo, about 3000 capacity. He'd like it if people could just walk by and simply buy a ticket if they feel interested. 

※Masuda suggests having a Dir en grey arena where the band plays every day, like a broadway musical. Kaoru laughs at this idea, and says Seraph could do that. 

※Masuda asks if Kaoru has started any new projects or interests recently. Kaoru says he started listening to vinyl records a lot. He brought a few back from his home in Hyogo to use as decorations, but ended up wanting to listening to them, and was reminded of how good they are. He has since been going to 2nd hand stores etc and buying lots. 

※He would like to release a vinyl version of Phalaris. He was not happy with the amazon mega jacket for the deluxe version, with those two while columns on each side. 

※They talk about Shinya doing videos of him playing parts of songs for his youtube channel, and the possibility of the other members doing similar, but Kaoru says he doesnt want to appear on Shinya's channel. 

※Kaoru talks a bit about his preferences when it comes to band tshirts/ movie tshirts.  

※Kaoru says its been tough trying to book the tour venue in Nagoya too. 

※A veiwer asks about TTT in the comments. Kaoru says nothing is decided about that yet. 

※Masuda asks if Kaoru has any plans for new projects other than TTT. Kaoru says there are things he'd like to try, but as soon as he thinks about it, he has more demands from Dir en grey, like Kyo saying (imitating Kyo) 'Isnt is about time we made something new' etc. He knows Kyo has a lot going on so has to make the most of his time, but Kaoru sometimes wishes he had a bit more time to breathe. 

※Masuda asks how important creativity is for Kaoru when starting a piece of work. I didnt really catch the answer to this, but it was apparently hilarious. 

※They talk about the Studio coast live for a bit. Director Kondo is currently in the  middle of editing it. 

※Masuda says some comments have been made asking for  Dir en grey-fes. Kaoru says he likes the idea of inviting bands they are close to, but it would be impossible in reality. 

※Kaoru gives Masuda a cup of wine, and says they would go out to a bar after doing this kind of event in the past but as they cant do that this time, they might as well have more drinks now. 

※A viewer asks for Kaoru to spill some gossip. He tells a story about Fujieda going to buy the wine they are drinking now, and how Fujieda is always talking about whisky. This leads onto Kaoru talking about his recent visit to the Suntory Yamazaki Whisky distillery, before the live in Kyoto. 

※Masuda says he has visited a Scotch whisky museum in the UK. Kaoru would like to do similar, but it takes too much time getting there. 

※This leads on to Kaoru saying that the band are always thinking about when they can next tour overseas. There have been times during the past two years where they thought they might be able to, but it turned out they couldnt due to circumstances. 

※They talk about the concept of traveling with Japanese fans overseas to do a live for them there. Kaoru doesnt really like this idea. Masuda asks about doing a Japan tour for overseas fans, to travel Japan with the band. Kaoru says something similar to this was done when the band played Arche at Budokan. (I have no clue what this was). He is more open to this concept. 

※They talk about Shinya's ban on members going to his home. Masuda mentions the behavior of a particular member, and Kaoru says he didnt have anything to do with it. 

※Kaoru says Shinya wont even let anyone in his hotel room on tour. If you knock on his door, he will only open it a tiny sliver to answer. 

※Kaoru says there are not many people like Shinya. There is something very different about him. 

※That talk about how Phalaris was originally not intended to be put on the streaming sites, but after a bit of pressure from Apple music, they decided to put it on after all. 

※They talk about the band Black midi which Masuda likes, and then KISS, which Masuda likes too. Masuda mentions that next year will be KISS's 50th anniversary. Kaoru wonders what Dir en grey would be like on their 50th anniversary. The drums in Zan would be impossible. It would have to be an extremely slowed down Zan. Kaoru doesnt know how long the band will continue, but he still has a lot of ideas in his head. 

※Masuda says how talking about the acoustic Dozing Green in Sogai reminds him of when the band were on stage discussing the song overseas. Kaoru agrees.  This reminds Kaoru of an incident on that overseas tour where one of the members threw an apple at Shinya while he was asleep in his bed on the tour bus (??) They then talk about how Shinya had a fridge and a computer set up in his bed compartment. 

※About the anniversary tour, Kaoru admits that they often struggle to sell enough tickets for lives in the north and south of Japan, but they are giving Sapporo a shot this time, so he wants people to come.

※Kaoru says he is already in discussion with the band about plans for next year. 

※A comment comes in about Amagasaki Archaic Hall. Kaoru remembers seeing the Smashing Pumpkins there, but was disappointed that they played the acoustic version of Today, and cycled home upset about it. 

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

OK, here we go! With the sleleboys from the main AUs, how easy is it for S/O to fluster them, maybe ranked least to most?

Let's go with all of them. It starts with the easiest to fluster to the more difficult ones.

1. Horrorswap Papyrus - Dude, you just smiled at him, he can't take it anymore.

2. Farmtale Papyrus - Ben is very very shy. Talking to him, even if you ask for eggs, can make him fluster because he's scared he's anwering poorly.

3. Underswap Papyrus - Dude, you just have to stare at him more than five seconds and he doesn't know how to talk anymore.

4. Error - It happens all the time. When he is angry, upset, sad, in love, happy, ... He hates when people noticed, but he's so easy to fluster. Why do you think Ink loves to tease him so much?

5. Horrortale Papyrus - He has no control over his feelings and yes, sometimes he can just fluster because he thought of something you said to him two hours ago and he can't get over it.

6. Dancefell Papyrus - He's a dramaqueen, what did you expect? Pretty much anything can make him fluster for no reason, especially teasing, kissing, dancing, saying yes to record a video with him...

7. Dancetale Papyrus - He's a crying baby and he can get so overwhelmed for nothing. Of course he can be flustered for absolutely no reason, it's happening all the time.

8. Dancefell Sans - Rumba tries to be brave boy but he's not as resistant as the other Fell Sans. Though, he is as horny as the others.

9. Underfell Sans - He's a tsundere. When he is upset and knows you are right, he blushes. That's an automatic answer to his problems. And when it's not that, he's just horny all the god damn time. He's pretty easy to fluster even if he would probably hate you noticed.

10. Horrorfell Sans - He has a little more control than Red, but he's still a tsundere deep inside his soul.

11. Dancetale Sans - Rambo is pretty easy to fluster. He loves teasing, but if you tease back, he can't take it and becomes blue. Coward.

12. Mafiafell Sans - Fangs can be flustered only when it gets suggestive or when he is angry. Other than that, he's pretty good at keeping the appearance.

13. Outertale Sans - When people laugh at his jokes, he is so flustered all the time, because he is so used to people growling at him he doesn't think he is that funny anymore, and now you just prove him he's wrong.

14. Ink - He's kinda neutral. He can blushes for no reason just like expressing no feeling at all. It depends of his vials and his actual mood. He's more a chaotic goblin than a lover, you know. But when he likes someone, he can fluster really hard when he's giving gifts.

15. Undertale Sans - It takes a long time, he needs to feel comfortable first. But man, once you know him, you just have to take him by surprise and he becomes so blue. Though he learns quick, so he's a middle one.

16. Mafiafell Papyrus - He's usually good at keeping his feelings and it's hard to fluster him. Though, when you're embarrassing him, kissing him or pointing he did something the wrong way, he becomes so red. Though it never last long, he prefers to hide away while he is cringing.

17. Undertale Papyrus - He's actually pretty hard to fluster. Papyrus is planning everything all the time so it's rare when something is flustering him. Though, he has a problem with naked human bodies. It will never fail to make him bright orange.

18. Disbelief Papyrus - Like his younger self, but with a little more control, since he has more experience with naked humans bodies now.

19. Outertale Papyrus - Pretty much like classic Papyrus, he's good at controling his feelings, but old ladies being nice to him and praising him can kill Sun.

20. Horrorfell Papyrus - Sometimes, he is a bit slow to understand romantic things, but oh boy, when he understands... You're in for a big tomato skeleton.

21. Underfell Papyrus - He has a good self-control, but surprised genuine compliments are the death of him and his perfect tomato skelly face. Other than that, he's hiding everything very well.

22. Swapfell Sans - A bit like Edge, but with more self control. Nox is very difficult to impress in normal time, and even more for romantic purposes. Though, a nice poem can do. Only if it's perfect or he will correct it.

23. Swapfell Papyrus - The man has no shame of anything. But he has a weakness : chicken mc nuggets. Genuine nuggets for no reason might kill him. Other than that, it can be really hard to get any reaction from him, he can't take things seriously.

24. Mafiatale Sans - The only times he flusters are when he's failing a magic trick, which is happening pretty often.

25. Dustale Sans - Dude, he doesn't even know what a feeling is, what are you even trying to say to him?

26. Horrortale Sans - He's almost impossible to fluster. Oak has only two expressions : the calm/smiley/happy one and the "i'm going to destroy everything and then pout". There's no in between. Though, making food for him out of nowhere is getting him everytime.

27. Underswap Sans - He's one of the difficult one. He is usually the one who is doing the teasing to fluster. Though, he can be tricked with romantic surprised meetings or when he is embarrassed in public.

28. Horrorswap Sans - Same than Blue, but a little colder. Nugget needs a very long time to trust people, and even more time to shyly smile at them, so it's going to be a long run to fluster him.

29. Mafiatale Papyrus - Creeper doesn't care about anything or anyone but his job, he doesn't have time for this. So yeah, he's not very good at being flustered.

30. Farmtale Sans - He's probably the most difficult one. He doesn't understand hidden messages and he prefers to concentrate on his work than playing with his S/O. He can get upset when he doesn't understand something too.

[marshthat]

My Jedi master Eeth Koth headcanons!

Eeth Koth has been my comfort charcter for quite a long time, and still is now (and I hope still will be in the future also, bc I cant imagine me existing without my love for Eeth anymore).

So, I've decided to share my most prominent master Koth headcanons that I've accumulated at this point

As promised, I'm posting only general ones, without any specific implied pairings or other relationships!

note: (due not so much info about Eeth in Canon and Legends (unforgivably little actually), maaaaybe I'm projecting some of my own mental stuff on him, but eh, this is unevitable I guess :)

Have fun reading these!

1. Change of the profile

In his youth, Eeth was a Jedi Guardian, a.k.a "Jedi-on-the-front-line", and carried a blue lightsaber. But after the death of his master, followed by him joining the High Council, Eeth calmed down his inner rambo and changed his profile to a Jedi Consular. And so he chose a path of a diplomat, built a green lightsaber (with a hilt very similar to his dead master's one, as a remembrance) and eventually became famous in the Jedi Order exactly for his ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. (that's why no big missions on his part before the Clone Wars era apart from his participation in the Yinchorri incident)

2. The acceptance issue

Eeth pays a lot of attention to his appearance: carefully brushes his hair, makes sure his clothing is perfect, and so on.

Some consider this a simple whim, but in fact this will to have an ideal appearance is a consequence of some issues Koth now has because of his difficult childhood. Due to the fact that Eeth spent his first four years as a ragged orphan in the filthy slums of Nar Shaddaa, he sometimes feels as if he doesn't deserve to be in such a clean and nice place as the Coruscant Jedi Temple. (And the fact that his membership in the Order at first caused a lot of controversy among the Council masters only worsened this fear)

That is why Eeth tries his best to always look as perfect as possible - to be suitable for the beauty of the Temple and to not feel himself a stranger in its walls.

3. Long meditation hours and self-reflecting

He does meditate on his issues quite often, in order to get rid of every irrational fear he has, like the one described in the previous headcanon. Usually he does that in the evening, after all the tasks are completed - he gives himself time to reflect on what happened during the day, what he did and said and how the others reacted. This does help, but still some thorns can be very hard to get out of his hearts. His favourite meditation place is his own quarters in the Temple, where he can have a nice view on the evening/night Coruscant, which is somehow more relaxing to him than the gardens in the Room of Thousand Fountains.

4. A little peek into the apartment

Eeth’s master-quarters in the Temple are decorated with effort and thought. The most significant part are the long heavy thick and soft curtains, that, if closed, take all the light in the room away, leaving the nice pleasant semidarkness atmoshphere. Also Eeth has a lot of various cushions around the whole apartment, along with an enormous supply of aroma candles! 

5. The tragedy of the Padawan

Eeth's first and only Padawan learner was Sharad Hett.

Sharad's will to quit the Order deeply hurt Eeth, even if he didn't say that out loud, as he put a lot of effort and dedication in his promise to be the best master possible for Sharad. Also he lowkey agreed with the accusations of other masters telling him he was responsible for Sharad's departure because Koth failed as a teacher - so he does feel himself guilty of failing both Sharad and the Order.

After the Hett's incident, he actually vowed to himself not to take any more Padawan learners, so as not to let anyone's expectations down again. (And, like master Saesee Tiin, chose to put his efforts into other fields rather then teaching)

(these panels still hurt me somehow qwq 

Sharad made Eeth cry, for kriffs sake!)

6. But he's still very friendly to kids

Despite the unpleasant exprienece with his own Padawan, he did let go of his initial frustration and now he is quite happy to give younglings and young padawans some general lessons! Also sometimes he takes other masters' students to group trainings or supervises them during the Trials of Knighthood. And young Jedi do love master Koth a lot - because he's soft and very patient, and does allow them some liberties :)

7. The social butterfly

Eeth is a "social butterfly" or a "caretaker" (ESFJ mbti-type)

He is used to being among a large number of people, but even though it seems that he gathers these people around him, in fact this is not true - his natural charm and outgoing personality allow him to easily make new acquaintances, interact with friends and encourage conversations, but he more follows his more assertive companions, adapts his behavior and words to them in order to create the most comfortable atmosphere possible, than directs them himself.

In other words, he offers the fun, but enjoys more the others' reactions to it, than the fun itself!

8. Sweet tooth!

Eeth LOVES sweet things! He generally likes all sorts of sweets, starting with various desserts and finishing with sugary tropic fruits. (Gaining weight? Naaah, the zabraks physiology allows him to consume a lot of food because of the higher metabolism due to the zabraks having two hearts. And also he does a lot of physical exercise in the training halls. So it's not a problem at all!)

9. And he is sweet himself too

This love for sugary things is not only for sweet treats actually, but also for the scents of cosmetics too! (And he does use a lot of that stuff). That is why Eeth usually smells of something nice, either caramel, or vanilla, or fruity etc.

This is often favorited by his colleagues on the Council, who definitely enjoy the pleasant aroma Eeth always brings with him to the Council meetings.

10. Energy drinks!

He got badly used to them during the Clone Wars era, because he really needed an additional energy resource when staying up all night brushing through various diplomatic documents and strategy plans. Caf wasn't much of a help because it just turned out to be not strong enough for the zabrak, so he eventually replaced it with cheap but more effective sweet energy drinks. It doesn't really matter to him which drinks to buy exactly, but the meiloorun-flavoured ones are among his favourites.

11. Form of lightsaber combat

Form III - Soresu!

I actually did a separate essay analyzing why Eeth’s form of combat is definitely Soresu, but if keeping brief: he uses Soresu mixed with some Ataru moves. Ataru was his initial style, advised by his master due to Eeth’s small complexion and natural agility & flexibility, but after changing his Jedi profile to a Consular he also adopted the main Consulars’ style - Soresu (usually called “the diplomat style”, “the most peaceful among the seven'' etc.). Koth’s Soresu moves can clearly be seen in the “Grievous Intrigue” episode in particular. Also Koth’s stance in the "Intrigue" is different from the famous Kenobi's "point-fingers" thingy simply because Eeth's pose is not an opening Soresu stance, but the brace-ready stance, which in Soresu is described as “having much in common with the "Ataru guard," with the hilt held at waist height on the dominant side in a two-handed grip for greater control, extended vertically upwards”

12. The double-bladed saber

Eeth wields a double-bladed saber almost as well as a regular one.

And in fact, it was Darth Maul who has inspired Eeth to try this kind of a weapon - after the High Council sent him to lead the investigation on the question of a zabrak sith on Naboo in 32 bby, he got genuinely interested in the possible perks of two blades in his Soresu and eventually mastered the double-bladed saber on quite a level. But he still sees this only as an interesting training option, but nothing more. So the double-bladed saber stays in the Temple and is used only in the Training Halls, but never on the battlefield.

13. An earring (yes, in the singular form)

Eeth has one of his ears pierced (right one), and he actually has several different earrings, mostly simple, like basic metal rings, which he usually picks every morning according to his mood. But to be honest, this earring thing is purely only for himself - because you can’t really see his ears under his usual three-ponytails hairstyle.

Though, he did abandon wearing earrings during the Clone Wars era - because since the war began and the potentially dangerous missions became more frequent, it wasn’t really a right place and time for such things, especially knowing that the Separatists can use some specific traps (like the ones they used to magnetize Jedi lightsabers on Lola-Sayu). The prospect of losing the whole ear due to such a trap is not the most pleasant one indeed.

14. HUGS (and other tactile activities)

Eeth very very VERY much loves hugs!

And for him, tactile contacts are more than just a way to feel comfortable - for him it's a vital part of the whole communication process. This issue dates back to his master, Kosul Ayada, who was a herglic (a race that is actually not very good at speaking Galactic Basic), and therefore helped himself with gestures and body language. And spending a lot of time around master Ayada, Eeth also got used to supporting his verbal dialogue by body language and tactile contact.

That is why while speaking Eeth actively gestures, grabs the other's hands, squeezes shoulders etc. And the hugs are his way to express sympathy and also to feel safe and appreciated!

15. Driving skills

Master Koth can drive, and actually quite well. And by driving I mean not spaceships, but smaller things that stay on land, like speeders.

And because he is a diplomat who often attends various meetings with senators and ambassadors, he also has a personal speeder, allocated to him by the Order for the ease of attending senator events and other diplomatic ocasions.

(But he does use it for other personal purposes too, because why not to, if there is an opportunity)))

(A panel of Eeth casually driving a speeder like a damn pro is one of my fav Eeth comics crumbs,,,,,,)

16. Singing

Eeth enjoys singing! But he usually keeps this thing to himself, making the quiet manthra-like singing a part of his meditative prep - it helps him to settle down his tangly thoughts a bit and tune his mind and body for the actual meditation.

(the hc was inspired by Hassani Shapi’s singing in one of his films, because Shapi’s voice is really beautiful and I’m sad they didn’t give him even a single line in the Phantom Menace when filming Koth’s Council scene)

17. Space soap operas...? (not so serious, sometimes treated as crack, but sometimes not)

Koth (secretly) likes soap operas on the late-night HoloNet, and often stays up to watch a new episode of something before going to bed. His favourite series is called “Lekkus of love” (my imaginary in-universe show I usually use in my sw writings) and it's about a twi’lek girl’s life, filmed in the style of our “Magnificent Century”, with lots of romantic intrigues and twists.

18. LOTS of feelings

Referencing the previous one - Eeth is very emotional, actually! Yes, he’s a Jedi and he knows how to keep his mind clear, but he’s still sensitive enough to actually cry over sad episodes of "Lekkus…" because “Poor Ai’sha, she worked so hard to get her man’s attention, but he still chose that togruta girl? This is outrageous, this is unfair! :ccc”

Also this can be in fact explained biologically. He's a zabrak, and zabraks are supposed to have a hot, blazing, higly-emotional nature (to match their home planet, Iridonia, wich is also boiling with acid seas and all that - otherwise they won't survive)

19. Podracing as a favourite sport

Eeth enjoys podracing. He first got into it back on Nar Shaddaa, when he heard a lot about racing and stuff from smugglers and bounty hunters (and at that time he even dreamed of becoming a cool podracer - but that was of course before he was taken to the Temple).

Now he doesn't dream of podracing that much, but still can and actually does enjoy watching annual championships via HoloNet. He also tries to keep in touch with the latest news in the podracing world (that interest he shares with the young Anakin Skywalker, and they do sometimes occasionally discuss podracing when they both have free time)

20. Horns

Eeth doesn’t really trust droids with trimming his horns, so he usually does that by himself, in the freshener, and that always takes a while. Also unlike a lot of male iridonian zabraks, who prefer to keep the tips of their horns comparatively sharp as a sign of their brutality and masculinity, Eeth chooses to make the tips humbly rounded and smoothed.

21. A pet? (Also not so serious - but sometimes it IS the most serious hc!)

Eeth has a pet loth-cat! The loth-cat is a she-cat, and she's big, fluffy and always on her own mind. Agen Kolar sometimes points out that the loth-cat is very similar to her owner in a lot of little things, like the way the cat purrs when being hugged and how she is obsessed with being clean and ideal too.

The loth-cat is also a bit jealous of her owner’s attention, so she will every time make herself comfortable on his knees when Eeth is meditating or working with documents to show that this is HER man. (especially when smb comes over to Eeth’s apartment - that's the case when she just NEEDS to state who’s the real boss here).

22. Participation in the first battle of Geonosis

I headcanon that Eeth was not directly on the Petranaki Arena actually during the first battle of Geonosis in the AOTC. Since he's not on-screen in that symbolic circle of survivors but is still stated as a participant, I assume that instead of being a part of the main group, Eeth joined Yoda on his trip to Kamino. Maybe not directly on the planet but still somewhere there, helping to gather clone legions to guide them to Geonosis.

(p.s. I know that Eeth's on-screen absence is because of Shapi being replaced with another actor and the new character turning out not at all alike to TPM Koth, but this little hc actually kinda fixes the hole without ruining anything…?))

[my-watch-begins]

The Sam Drake Experience: 4

Warnings: Fluff, bit of angst, swearing. 

Words: 3175

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 

~•~•~•~

Sam jolted out of bed so forcefully he trips into his nightstand and a chair full of clothes he has in the corner of the room, making loud clattering noises that break the peacefulness of nighttime.

His breath his ragged, he feels his throat sore and now, his feet and legs hurt from kicking things out of his way to escape the nightmare he'd just had. He stumbles in the dark, knocking some more things over as he struggles to catch his breath, then turns on the lamp on the nightstand.

He's in his room, panting, sweating bullets that pierce through his clothed chest, he looks down at the bed, then at himself, looking at a noticeable round wet spot around the collar of his neck.

He takes off the shirt as he still struggles to catch his breath, then the door knocks.

"Sam?" You call from outside.

He looks to his side,  the door to his bedroom is opened and from where he stands, he can look at the front door. It knocks again, now louder.

"Sam, you alright?"

He takes a few steps, noticing how his body is so stiff and sore he barely makes it to the door, he opens the door, finding you clasping a hoodie jacket that's a bit too big on you, you look at him with a worried frown.

"Sam" you call back, seeing that he doesn't say anything, he's too busy breathing in and out still, when he runs a hand on his hair to try and compose himself you notice he's drenched in sweat.

"I had a nightmare" he excused, shaking his head dismissingly.

You step into the apartment, placing a hand on his arm and pushing him in, closing the door behind you.

"I see, let's get you-" you motion at the kitchen table "some tea, or some scotch, maybe a cigarette" he sits down and hides his face him his hands, propping himself over the table.

"Yeah, that sounds good" he answers with a shaky breath, then clears his throat. 

A cup of tea appears next to him, after he takes it and let's the warmth of it sooth his throat, he feels a blanket being placed over his shoulder. Just then he notices that his sweat as cooled down and he's freezing.

You sit down next to him, pulling the chair closer and rubbing some heat  on his shoulders with one hand.

His breathing calms down enough for him to feel his muscles hurt now that they're untensed, he sighs and closes his eyes.

"I spent two days in a cell last week, waiting for Sullivan to come bail me out, and it's enough to-" he stops when his voice cracks. He clears his throat intending to continue, but you place your other hand on his arm, squeezing at it reassuringly.

"You don't have to say anything Sam" you whisper "we all have things that fuck us up" your hand rubs up and down his back while he finishes the tea with one large gulp.

"I'm sorry for waking you up" he laments, finally turning to look at you. You give him a smile with a shake of your head.

"It's nothing, I'm not getting much sleep these days anyway"

He clears his throat again, holding the sides of his blanket and standing up.

"Wanna watch a movie?" He offered, you smile again warmly, nodding and motioning at the front door.

"How about we go back to mine? You don't have a TV in your room"

Sam agrees quietly, and he heads to the door still clutching the blanket to him.

The best thing you knew to do if Sam had a nightmare was to take him out of his bedroom, and plopping down in the couch to talk or watch a movie was always a good idea.

You two walked the short trek from his place to yours, you unlocked the door and walked in, Sam quickly followed and headed to your bedroom.

"You don't have to put up with me" he said turning back to look at you, you give him a twist of your eyebrows, then pushed him slowly towards the bedroom.

"Don't be an idiot" you dismiss. Sam slips into bed, you grab the control and began to look through the Netflix catalogue as you sit in the bed. "What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't here for you when you've literally put up with me for hours when I get all kinds of fucked up?"

You hear Sam sigh a little laugh. You slid your hoodie off and throw it on the floor, your legs slip under the covers and pull it up, covering yourself and Sam.

The movie starts, you usually pick up movies you've seen before in the hopes of falling asleep from boredom, but now the movie serves the purpose of background music for your talk.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He asks, you turn your head, seeing that he's laying on his side. You turn your body to do the same and sigh.

"I don't know, I have a lot on my mind I guess"

"About?" He inquired.

"Just... Life stuff, like my job, and I'm finishing up the online course I started this semester, and I have to think about putting it too good use and then..."

You sigh, searching in his eyes, testing just how far you want to go with your confession.

"Just stuff" you dismiss, shrugging your shoulder. You turn your back to lay on the bed again, hoping that it would end the conversation.

"Well, if there's someone bothering you-"

"There's not" you interrupt.

"I'm really looking into beating somebody up" you let out a laugh as you shake your head.

"Okay, Rambo, how about you try and get some shut-eye"

Sam laughs as well, and you feel the bed shake a bit as he lays on his back.

A few minutes of silence pass, you're watching the movie, hoping that sleep would overtake you as well, but Sam begins to huff in complain in his sleep, and just as you turn around to check on him he wakes up startled, jumping on the bed a little.

He lays back, rubbing his eyes and exhaling loudly in complain.

"Turn around" you command, crawling closer to him.

"What?" He asks, still startled by the nightmare that had snuck up on his just as he was trying to fall asleep. You place your hand on his shoulder and push him to lay on his side.

"Come on, turn around"

He reluctantly turns, giving you his back, you wrap your arm around him,  flushing your chest against his back. Your head comes to the same height as his, and your hand begins traveling up and down his arm.

"I've got your back" you whisper soothingly, his muscles begin to relax.

He lets out a long breath, wrapping his arms around himself and laying his head on the pillow. The touch of your hand on his arm and shoulder, your warmth of your body on his is enough to make him fall asleep within a few minutes.

You smile content with your work, but don't leave his side, your hand is still running circles on his arm, and your head comes down to his shoulder, intending to look at the movie, hoping to fall asleep as calmly as Sam had.

That doesn't happen, you end up turning on your back after an hour, switching from one movie to another and getting angry at yourself for not being able to fall asleep. The only good thing you've got going for you is that you have the day off tomorrow, and could probably catch up on sleep then.

Another hour passed, and just when you were struggling to keep your eyes open, Sam turns around in his sleep, throws a hand around your waist and leans his head forward, laying it on your shoulder.

You sit still, waiting for him to realize that he's hugging your and pull back, but he just sighs and settles, his hand sneaking up to your rib.

You smile a little, feeling the warmth of his body slowly creep into yours, and after much debating about not wanting to make things weird, you turn on your side to face him. Sam's hand instinctively creeps around to your back, and his other arm squeezes between the matress and your body, emerging on the other side and snaking around your waist. His face settles in the little space between your neck and the pillow.

Your hand mindlessly started rubbing on his shoulder again, going down his bicep just down to the faded scar he had from when he'd almost taken a bullet for Nathan. Your hand continued upwards, your fingertips lightly grazing the skin of his neck, suddenly he lets out a hum as his skin perks up in goosebumps. 

You stop, not wanting to wake him up, then place your cheek on his forehead and sigh.

Next thing you know, you're moving your head to the side, trying to get away from the beams of sun peaking through your window, it takes a while for the sun to reach that side of bed, so you assume it must be around eleven.

You lift your hand up to unsuccessfully block the sun, then turn to your back, being stopped by Sam's arm firmly grasping your waist and ass. You sigh in annoyance, making Sam perk up and look up at you. His eyes scan yours, frowning in confusion after a second.

"Hey" he mutters.

"Hi"

"What's wrong?"

"The sun's in my eyes" you complained.

Just then you take into account the actual position you two had ended up sleeping on. Sam's arm is still around your waist, his head is just above the valley of your breasts. His other arm is keeping your leg on top of his waist, holding it still by your ass, his legs are tangled with your remaining one. He stares back for five full seconds before deciding that he's too comfortable to move you out of the way, so he sinks back between your breast with a sigh.

"That sucks for you then" he mutters.

"Wow, what an asshole" you reply with a chuckle, then cover your eyes with your free arm.

A minute passes, and you can feel Sam's eyelashes feather on the skin of your chest.

"What am I even doing here?" He asks.

"In my room or between my tits?"

"Both" he replies with a chuckle, you chuckle back and shake your head.

"You had a nightmare last night"

"Yeah, that I remember"

"Then I spooned you to sleep"

"I don't remember that" he rubs his face on your chest, his stubbles scratching you slightly "you're quite comfy"

"Thanks, it's the extra fat"

"Yeah, you've got it all in the right places though" he teases, following with a squeeze on your ass. You giggle and buckle your hips.

"Stop" you warn "are you gonna get up anytime soon?" You take your arm our of your face to look down at him.

"Why?"

"Because I'm hungry"

"Oh, I've got an American breakfast to help you out with that" he teases.

"Gross Samuel"

He perks up, the arm that hugs your waist lets go of it to help prop himself on top of you.

"Gross?" He inquired with a twist of his eyebrows.

"Yeah I don't like eating eggs and sausages for breakfast that's gross"

"You forgot the milk" he continues with a grin.

You scrunched your face in disgust and moved below him, he laughed and held you tightly, and when you saw him lean in to you you placed your hand on his chest.

"Don't you dare kiss me"

"Why not?"

"Because you have cigarettes for dinner"

"You don't like cigarettes for dinner, you don't like American breakfasts, how are we even friends?"

You let out a little smile, and your hand somehow ends up on the shoulder of his propped arm.

"We just put up with eachother I guess" you joke. He chuckles, and his eyes set to yours.

In that split moment when Sam's smile faded slowly, you began to feel your chest swell up.

"What?" He asks, seeing the sudden change in your face, his hand stops cupping you ass to move up on your waist, rubbing it reassuringly.

"Fuck Sam, I-"

You and Sam jump on the bed to a sitting position when the door to your apartment knocks. Much like Sam's, you can see the front door from your bed.

"You're having someone over?" He asks, your eyes don't leave the front door.

"No" you reply confused.

"Well, go get rid of them" he commands, nudging on your leg and moving to the side so you can get out of bed.

On the short trek to the door you fix your shirt and run a hand on your hair to settle the strands that are sticking out in weird directions. You tiptoe to look through the peephole, then frown opening the door.

"Hey (N)" your eyes go through Nathan and Elena's figure on the hall. "Did we wake you?" He asks with a little apologetic smile.

"Kind of" you chuckle "it's my day off"

"Well, we came by to have lunch with Sam but he's not answering" he excused "and Cassie needs a diaper change" he points behind him at his baby, being held by Elena.

"Oh, I bet he's just out of cigarettes and be right back"

"I think so too, but you don't happen to have his spare key don't you? So we can wait inside?"

You struggle to find a quick excuse, but not wanting to look suspicious you quickly nodded.

"Sure" you grab the door and give him a sad smile "and sorry if I don't let you in, my place is a mess" you chuckle. Nathan motions with his hand not to worry about it. You close the door and bolt towards the room. Sam is laying back on the bed when you return, and you quickly lean to push him.

"Sam, your brother's outside" you whisper at him with urgency

Sam jolts out of the bed, looking at you with worry.

"Fuck! I forgot he was coming today" he replied in a low voice.

You bend to take out your pajama pants and give him a quick look.

"I told them you might be gone but they want to go in, Cassie needs a diaper change" you look around and find the pair of pants you were wearing yesterday, quickly grabbing them and putting them on swiftly.

"Fuck" he whispers, then walks to your window and opens it.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" You whisper-yell at him, seeing that he's swung one of his legs over the window.

"I'm going to my room, pick some clothes on, come back here-" he swings his other leg and holds himself to the windowsill, looking down to his side "-and pretend I just came back, you distract him" he ordered, then disappeared moving alongside of the building.

You watched perplexed as he moves alongside the window until he finally disappears. Leave it to Samuel Drake to casually shimmy from window to window hanging from the outside wall of fourth floor of an apartment complex. You curse lowly and go around your nightstand drawer to pick up Sam's spare key.

Walking out of your apartment, you give Nathan and Elena a quick smile.

"Sorry I took so long, I called Sam to tell him to hurry up and he told me to entertain you" you motion at the corridor, Nathan and Elena get walking following your lead.

"How have you been (N)?" Elena asks "we haven't seen you in a while"

"I've been working and studying a bunch" you reach Sam's door and open it, peaking inside for any sign of Sam, you let Nathan and Elena in, then close the door behind you "how about I give you some towels and you change Cassie here" you offered, seeing that Elena is walking towards the bedroom.

"Okay" she replies with a weirded out tone.

"Trust me you don't want your child anywhere near Sam's bed" you joke, then walk to the bedroom door and open it.

Sam is fastening a belt to his waist when you enter, you close the door behind you.  He's startled when the door opens but quickly untensed when he saw it was you, when you come out of the bathroom he's finishing with his shirt and is half way out the window again, before leaving again he gives you a fun wink and disappears again.

You exit the bedroom, leaving the towels on the couch, fastening them on the couch.

"How is this little one?" You say in a high pitch when you see Cassie look around, bitting her fisted hand and getting drool all over it, her big eyes landed on yours and she smiled widely.

"Getting bigger" Elena replies.

What are you guys cooking?"

"We're making some hamburgers, that's about the only thing Sam eats" Nate jokes as he unpacks a few things he brought. You chuckle a bit, knowing well about Sam's stay in a prison in Panama and that ever since he's been out he doesn't lots of vegetables, he could literally vomit if he's put a plate of mashed potatoes in front of him, and he seasons things out the ass.

The pain in your chest returns when you realize you know that much about him, and luckily he unlocks the door and enters, giving a frown as he looks around.

"I leave for five minutes and you guys have already broken into my place?" He asks, faking annoyance and closing the door behind him. You stand up when Nate begins to tell him off about how he was supposed to be here if he knew they were coming, and before you can walk seemingly undetected next to Sam, Nate speaks.

"Wanna join us (N)?" You stop at the front door, Sam looks back at you with a teasing twist of his eyebrows.

"No, wouldn't want to intrude" you shake your hand dismissingly, holding the knob of the door and opening. "Have a good time guys" you salute quickly, exiting the apartment and closing the door behind you.

You felt the pressure on your chest increase so much now you're breathing in and out superficially, and the second you step into your apartment you look at the bedroom, Sam's face appearing in front of you, his eyes tinted with a little something you recognized, but didn't wanted to accept was there.

What had happened last night definitely shouldn't have happened, and you were afraid that it was going to open a window of possibilities you had made very clear wanted to left closed. You run a shaky hand through your hair and curse under your breath.

You had been in 'from bad to worse' situations before, but you usually were when the relationship was ending, and you dreaded knowing that if Sam caught feelings for you, it would be game over. Sadly, yours were already caught.

[gribnoire]

Worst Total Drama characters per season?

i hope youre ready for some BAD OPINIONS

s1: i’m so sorry harold but every single thing you do hurts me...honestly he’s as horrible as ezekiel but at least we only had like 1 episode of ezekiel and ezekiel drops the misogyny (and becomes gollum which is like a really positive direction for his character and i’m really supportive of it). harold just reminds me too much of high school me & there is nothing more detestable than the shadow self. amy and sadie are kind of a close second because that gimmick wears pretty thin pretty fast haha...too bad bc they seem really sweet! i guess i wish they did more with them?

s2: beth and courtney...but i’m gonna give it to beth because i at least really like courtney, especially in other seasons, she’s just bad in this one (it’s kind of annoying that her villain gimmick was kind of just “is really good at competing so keeps winning immunity” but i love her meanness/cattiness/hypocrisy, they make her really interesting as a character/villain, she’s just better utilized as the drama queen she is than as the overarching antagonist, you feel me?). i feel kind of bad about disliking beth though? she’s so sweet and definitely someone i’d really like irl, but on this show “generically nice” is really boring to me...i’m sorry beth you don’t deserve this

s3: sierra ... to be honest i kind of really liked everyone in season 3? they managed to do like an actually good job of making both likable villains and not-boring good guys! i think i dislike sierra here because she had a really interesting gimmick at the beginning - having so much dirt on the show and other characters that she had an edge - and then just kind of devolved into a cody stan. she deserved better than that :pensive: i’d have at least loved to see someone like...take advantage of her knowledge, or for her to remember she had it in the finale, or something, but it kind of just never comes back. ever

s4: currently in the middle of rewatching this but like uhh somehow staci’s bad-ness is SO bad that she’s managed to taint the rest of the season despite only being in one episode? which is pretty impressive. but i feel like first-episode elims don’t count, so it’s definitely zoey and mike.

and to be clear, mike (and co.) is my favorite character, and i don’t even dislike zoey! they’re just definitely the worst part of every episode since all the other couples that season are so charming and these two have...no chemistry. like the chemistry is that they’re both nice...and ones a girl and ones a boy...thats it! zoey also commits both of my td cardinal sins of 1) not really playing into her gimmick (i would not know she’s supposed to be a hipster unless the supplementary material told me, and nothing in her arc has to do with that. if they wanted her to be some sort of crazy survivalist they should have ... done that with her instead of being like “she is a hipster and also she goes full rambo on scott”. like what if her thing was that she basically grew up in a log cabin in the woods and is terrified that if people find out she hunts bears and stuff they won’t like her, so she’s trying to pretend to be a super sweet city girl instead?) and 2) just being kind of generically nice, which mike is guilty of too. it’s total DRAMA, guys

s5: gonna be real with you this is my favorite season by far (season 3 is better written but every line that comes out of mal’s mouth physically hurts me, which means it makes me feel more emotions per hour than any of the others combined). honestly i feel like i have to give it to zoey again? the problems from season 4 - no chemistry, generically nice, etc. - carry over to season 5, and are worsened because these two have so much more screentime.

the problems i have with s5 are numerous though and i feel kind of bad for dunking on zoey because, like beth, i actually like her quite a lot? she’s just not...really good in the show haha. it always feels like the writers never know what to do with her...they went “well she’s lonely and nice” and then in season 5 she’s not even lonely so i dont even know what she’s supposed to be about anymore

s6: did not watch this one... i heard it was kind of bad...

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM 15 in Tokyo Dome Night 1 Review (Jan 4th 2020)

New Japan Rambo  *1/2

BOSJ 27 vs. SJC 2020 IWGP Jr. Heavyweight No.1 Contenders Match: Hiromu Takahashi vs. El Phantasmo  ****

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Title Match: Taichi & Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. Guerrillas Of Destiny  ***1/2

IWGP U.S. Heavyweight Championship Right To Challenge Match: KENTA vs. Satoshi Kojima  ***1/2+

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Great-O-Khan  ***1/2

Kazuchika Okada vs. Will Ospreay  ****3/4

IWGP Heavyweight & Intercontinental Double Championship Match: Tetsuya Naito (c/c) vs. Kota Ibushi  ****1/2

Photos.

So the first night of WK15 is in the history books, held in front of a socially distanced crowd of 12,689, which is an amazing number given the state of the world at present (I’m in the UK and we can’t even have two people in the same room, so near 13,000 seems mind-blowing!). This is the biggest crowd to have seen a wrestling show in Japan since last years Dome shows, and the biggest major wrestling show held anywhere since March of last year, so it’s quite the achievement. In quick results from a very fun show:

Bad Luck Fale, Chase Owens, BUSHI and Toru Yano (who never even made it to the ring) were the “winners” of the annual Rambo and will face each other in a 4-way to determine the KOPW champion on tomorrows show. The Rambo was as it always is, which is very forgettable, very long, and not especially very good. After a Japanese Don King (who sings!) introduced Riki Choshu (a guy who, in this very building in 1998, squashed FOUR guys in a row in his “retirement” match), and his young grandson, to the masses for a nice opening, BOSJ winner Hiromu Takahashi pinned everyone’s favourite/most hated douchebag heel, the 2020 Super J Cup winner El Phanatsmo, in 17:46, when he turned CRII into a Frankensteiner and cradle. This was an excellent match that was a great way to start the show. Hiromu essentially played crash pad to ELP’s highflying moves, and seemed to be saving himself for the Ishimori match tomorrow, which he earned with this win.

Next up, the GOD won the IWGP Tag Titles for what must be the 476th time. The match was very good (once it got going), but at 19:18, it felt very long, and the finish and result were lamentable; after a ref bump and prerequisite Jado interference spot, Tama nailed Taichi with his own Iron Fingers From Hell, which allowed Loa to hit Apeshit and win the belts. Honestly, I could have done without this title change. The Guerrillas with the belts just feels like I’ve been transported back in time three or four years, and the Dangerous Tekkers felt both fresh, and like they were just getting going as champions. Whatever. After a video taped Jon Moxley promo, KENTA defended the U.S. Title Right To Challenge Briefcase against the legend that is Satoshi Kojima, in a very good little match. Obviously, Koji was a late replacement for the broken orbital boned Juice Robinson, and honestly, with all due respect to Juice, this was a much better match for it. Even though no one feasibly bought him winning, Kojima was on fire here, showing the world that he does indeed “still have it”, and drove the action throughout. It wasn’t to be though as KENTA retained the briefcase after a Go 2 Sleep at the 14:12 mark. So KENTA will challenge Moxley in the U.S. at some point, which should be a fun match.

Hiroshi Tanahashi defeated the returned-from-excursion Great-O-Khan in my least favourite match of the show. This was far from bad, but realistically, this was the match where I started to lag, as it just wasn’t all that interesting at times. The former Tomoyuki Oka has a very weird gimmick, and his offence is like something from a 1970s regional promotion in the U.S. He isn’t a bad worker, he’s very solid, but this wacky Mongolian gimmick, which I first clapped eyes on at a Rev Pro show what must have been 7 years ago now (it was three, but time has no meaning anymore), is going to need some serious revamping. Tanahashi was his usual great self here, carrying this beyond what it should by all rights have been, and had the babyface fire of a thousand babyfaces. After surviving O-Khan’s Claw based offensive manoeuvres, The Ace scored the win at 17:13 after hitting a High Fly Flow to the back, followed by one to the front, to get the winning three count.

From here the show picked up considerably. Okada sought revenge on former protege Will Ospreay, in a fantastic, dramatic outing, that would most likely have been a Tokyo Dome all-time-classic under regular conditions. This went 35:41, which sounds long, but felt half of that whilst watching. It told a great story, and the work from both guys was exceptional. This was less the inventive spot fest of their 2019 G1 classic, and instead was a stiff strike war. It was also the final point of Ospreay eschewing the Junior mantle, and becoming a full fledged heavyweight. Like most Okada matches, this really turned into something special in the last 10 minutes, after Ospreay hit a nasty Brainbuster through the timekeepers table, and stomped the bejesus out of Okada’s face, the newly crowned “Commonwealth Kingpin” escaped a Money Clip, hit Okada with a Tombstone, and his own Rainmaker for a great near fall. Okada dropkicked Will out of the air on a Super Oscutter attempt, which looked great, then turned a Storm Breaker attempt into a Fire Thunder Driver, and hit a stiff Rainmaker, for the first time in A YEAR, to score the win and seemingly awaken the Okada of old. Tremendous stuff here.

And the Double Title Main Event that followed had a lot to live up to, but was another excellent outing. Obviously, with the last few times these guys have squared off being borderline public executions, my heart was proverbially in my mouth on some of the spots here. With the notable exceptions of Ibushi taking a German Suplex on the ramp, which he of course landed square on top of his head for, an insane Frankensteiner off the apron, which saw Naito land very hard on the floor, Ibushi taking a reverse rana off the second rope, and both guys taking signature spots onto their heads, this was, on the whole, the “tamest” match these two have had against one another in maybe 5 or 6 years now. Ibushi hit Kamigoye for a great near fall, but misses a Phoenix Splash. Naito hits Destino, but Ibushi gets the shoulder up. Naito kicks out of another Kamigoye, then drops Ibushi on his head with Valentia, and goes for another Destino. Ibushi escapes and hits a wrist clutch V-Trigger, followed by a third, knee padless Kamigoye to FINALLY win the two top prizes in New Japan after 31:18 of great action. There was a really wacky bit, that only Ibushi could do, after the match, where he seemed to sell being in a “fugue state”, tried to pin Naito again after the match, and sold disbelief when Red Shoes explained to him that he’d won. Naito presented The Golden Star with both belts, then Ibushi’s opponent tomorrow, Jay White, came out in the post match, and cut a promo, promising Ibushi’s reign would only last 24 hours. Ibushi informed Jay that he is mistaken, and that Ibushi will indeed become a God. This was a show built around happy ending babyface wins (in the major bouts), and was a dose of positivity the world needs right now. Bring on Night 2 already.

NDT

[kimito-pequenito]

OC Ask Meme

Bronx Bor'Kaan Lvl 7 Barbarian, half-orc, Former Eagle Knight, Current Barkeep and part-time adventurer. Standing at 6'4" and 283lbs, he is a beefy fellow that can cleave his enemies in two in one clean sweep.

1. How do they celebrate their birthday?

Treat himself to a nice night out at a *ehem* “Gentleman’s Club”and a good meal. His parents usually send a letter. 

2. Who is the most important person in their life?

Likely his parents, whom he still sends earnings back home to. 

3. What to they wear when they're just at home hanging out?

Just pants 

4. What is their house like?

It’s a small room above the bar he owns, it has the essentials inside and not much else. Not much decor to speak of. It’s clean enough. 

5. Any pets?

None, he wouldn’t bother with a small animal anyways, he’s afraid to hold small birds on his hands for fear of hurting them. He doesn’t need a guard dog when HE ALONE is all the protection the bar needs. 

6. What will always make them smile?

A pretty lady walking by.

7. What will always make them cry?

Death of a comrade. 

8. What's their favorite movie (presuming they life in a world with movies, if not, what would be their favorite movie)?

Movies don’t exist, but in a modern setting he’d watch Rambo, The Terminator….likely any big action packed movie with Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger.

9. Favorite book? 

Books? He hasn’t read much of those since he was a schoolboy. He’s got a book to keep track of the bar's expenses and earnings, but that’s just sums. 

10. Do they get along with their parents? 

A fond and strong bond to his parents, they’re getting on in age, so he tries to send what he can spare back to them and visit when he can (though they always compare his accomplishments to some wiseguy that used to live in the town too and became some local hero or some shit).

11. If you could put them into a different fictional universe, where would they go?

He’s really strong and can breathe fire sometimes, might have a shot at a vigilante marvel character?

12. Favorite holiday? 

Any holiday that gives an excuse to drink and be merry

13. Tattoos?

None, though he’s got plenty of scars

14. What was their first kiss like?

Was likely a pre-teen/young teen when he finally succeeded in getting a kiss from a classmate girl he was sweet on back in his hometown. 

15. Have they ever lost somebody they loved?

It wasn’t a romantic love, but a platonic strong bond with his fellow Eagle Knights. Not all soldiers made it back after every mission. 

16. They find a genie and are granted three wishes, what do they wish for, and why?

Wish 1: For his body to be in the same condition as it was as a young adult. Still strong, but way less creaky and achy, and had more endurance for…..fighting. Wish 2: For his new bar to be fireproof (the last one got burned down in a raid) Wish 3: A barrel that had an endless amount of really good beer. 

17. They're stranded on an island and can only have 4 items and one companion, who and what do they bring?

His axe, everburning torch, tent, and waterskin. That’s essentially all he carries with him while adventuring anyways. He’d want his animal-friendly buddy Oka on the island so she can talk to the sealife and get dolphins or a whale or something to swim them back to the mainland. She’s probably the most nature-inclined survivalist of the party. 

18. What's a quote (not from their universe), that you associate them with?

“Suns out, guns out.” (his muscles)

19. Any romantic interests? 

There’s a few pretty ladies around town that he’ll chat up all nice and friendly-like, but no takers so far. 

20. What kind of accent do they have?

His name is Bronx with inspiration from the show Gargoyles, which takes place in New York, so its NY/Brooklyn influenced accent. I- a female from Texas- have difficulty doing the accent in a gruff/deep bass but I tryyyyy. 

21. What is their most prized possession?

His greataxe

22. Have they ever stolen anything?

When he was an Eagle Knight, he didn’t “steal” people, but he did help liberate them from slavers.  

[daleisgreat]

The Punisher (1989): Unrated Cut

This has been one I have been meaning to be covering for a few years now. Longtime readers here may remember my friend Matt I reference semi-occasionally when I review one of his gag gift movies here. Every now and then though he will legit surprise with me with an awesome movie gift as with today’s example. Matt knows I am a huge fan of the comic book character, The Punisher, and that all three of the live action Punisher movies are guilty pleasures of mine. Up until a few years ago I already owned both the Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson Punisher films on BluRay, but the original 1989 Punisher movie I only owned a bare bones DVD release that I thought was the only home video version of that film. Matt surprised me a few years back by tracking down an international release of an unrated director’s cut of The Punisher on BluRay. Turns out in North America, right on the precipice of the film’s released it got traded studios as its original studio was in the process of being acquired. Turns out the new studio was not confident in the drawing power of Dolph Lungdren anymore so the 1989 Punisher film was among the first wave of movies to hit the straight-to-video market. Internationally, The Punisher received theatrical releases, and performed well, which is why it landed an international BluRay release. Thank goodness my BluRay player recognizes international regions, but my only nitpick with it is the lack of subtitles. So this version of the film on BluRay is the ‘Unrated Cut’ which is how the director, Mark Goldblatt, originally envisioned the film. The 80s were the era of the gratuitously violent action blockbusters with the likes of Rambo, Robocop, Commando, Terminator and countless others dominating the box office. The Punisher was shot for that demographic, and Goldblatt stated in the commentary how he had to take the film to the MPAA nine times before toning down the movie enough to earn an ‘R’ rating.

The film wastes no time with a lengthy origin story as it kicks off with a gang leader being acquitted of all charges for murdering Frank Castle (Dolph Lungdren) and his family five years prior. A news reporter recommends the gang to be on the lookout for ‘The Punisher’ vigilante, which the gang laughs off the journalist’s warnings, only for the gang to instantly meet their demise mere minutes after arriving home from court. The Yakuza arrive in town to capitalize on The Punisher’s fallout, with Yakuza leader Lady Tanaka (Kim Miyori) forcing replacement gang leader Dino Moretti (Bryan Marshall) to partner up with her after kidnapping the children of Moretti and his allies. Trying to keep tabs on this whole mess of a situation is the ‘Punisher Task Force’ consisting of Frank Castle’s former partner, Jake Berkowitz (Louis Gossett Jr.), and fellow detective Sam Leary (Nancy Everhard). Following all this setup, The Punisher is essentially 1980s action film 101, with Castle tearing it up against the Yakuza in a couple of entertaining shootouts in a casino and later on in a funhouse, complete with Yakuza members firing away at Frank while breezing down a curvy slide. Completing the over-the-top 80s action formula is the cheesy one-liners, with my favorite featuring Berkowitz grilling Frank on his vigilante warfare, “What do you call 125 murders in five years?” to which Castle dryly retorts, “Work-in-Progress.” Eventually everything comes to a head when Punisher and Moretti team up to rescue Moretti’s kid in the Yakuza stronghold, where the most intense fighting sequences emanate from in the entire film. The unrated cut pulls no punches, with the most gruesome fatalities transpiring as Castle and Moretti work their way to the final confrontation with Lada Tanaka.

When I re-watched the film with audio commentary from Mark Goldblatt he made sure to pinpoint which parts he added back in as he originally envisioned for this unrated version, and how he stands behind this version being the definitive cut of the film. Other interesting tidbits from the commentary was how the film wound up being shot in Australia, regrets of not having the Punisher’s trademark skull icon on his shirt in the film and informing in-depth on the film trading studios and going direct-to-video in America. Goldblatt also mentions in the commentary how there is a workprint cut of the film, which he stated he does not stand behind since it was cut before the core movie finished filming. Said workprint cut is included as a bonus feature, and is actually eight minutes longer than the unrated cut. The main takeaway I had with the workprint cut is it has a whole new 17 minute opening on the origin of The Punisher that happens five years earlier where it shows Castle and Berkowitz making a bust on a routine stakeout that clues the gangsters in to Frank’s family location where they ultimately make a hit on Frank’s family. That whole 17 minutes is briefly alluded to in the unrated cut in the form of a five second flashback of the family’s demise. This prologue adds a whole new dynamic to the film, but I can see why Goldblatt wanted it cut since it brings a snappier pace to the overall film. Also worth mentioning is that the workprint is presented in its original adapted 35mm form, and how the editors did a commendable job cleaning it up for the HD version on the BluRay.

Other extra features is a 21 minute interview with Mark Goldblatt. If you do not have time to invest into the commentary track, then this interview is a recommended alternative as it hits most of the same beats and goes into Mark’s other Hollywood successes. Also included is a quick five minute interview with Dolph Lungdren where he has fond memories working with the stuntmen in the fight sequences and wishes the movie would have had a theatrical run in America. For those who are fans of reverse box art, I recommend taking advantage of that here, as this BluRay’s alternative artwork is pretty remarkable. Rounding off the BluRay is a gag reel…..which would not load on my BluRay player, so that will have to be my loss. The Punisher: Unrated Cut BluRay was a surprise hit gift from Matt! I will stand behind Goldblatt by safely assuring his unrated cut here is the must-see version of the film. A solid slate of extra features only helps makes this BluRay the definitive home video edition of this movie. If you dig the over-the-top action films of the 80s, then odds are this 1989 take on The Punisher will be right up your alley. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[praphit]

BAMFs of 2019

Here's last year’s CHAMP -

THANOS

(Thanos: ”WTF did you just say?” #Mood)

Let's see if he made it back.

But, first, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions, as well as some people who were trying too hard:

Rey - 

Of course she is a total BAMF. So, why isn't she on this list? 3 REASONS: 1) She looks like a racist ex that I once dated. How can someone who decided to date you (a black man) be racist? Did y'all see the movie "Get Out"? You didn't know that the story was based off one of my relationships did you? So, yeah, she ain't ever gettin on this list.

2) The force is cheating - their I said it.

3) This last movie sucked. This rap she did didn't help her cause.

ALSO - there’s this - her rapping. I repeat, she ain’t ever getting on this list.

Nic Cage - cuz he's Nic bleepin Cage

Cardi B - cuz she’s Cardi bleepin B

Hooded Justice - if only he had been in more episodes. A black man disguising himself in a hood, as well as white, to fight evil in his neighborhood, that the police force (of which he is a part of) refuses to stop. Hell yeah! I love "Watchmen".

Lupita! - her brilliantly scary performance in "Us" is def BAMF material.

The Rock - honestly, The Rock is so awesome, and has been for so long, that he needs to be extra awesome to make it.

Trying too Hard. Please STOP:

Batwoman -

I like Ruby, but she's like an elf. She's an elf model. It's not bad to be an elf model, but... If a villain in Gotham, let's say "Bane" 

has me cornered, and Batwoman shows up to "rescue me", Imma start praying. He'd swing her around by that red hair of hers until her head pops off.

Rambo - He’s like 80! C’mon, Sly. Please STOP.

Dark Phoenix - a movie about her temper tantrum 

Joker -

 - not with all of that awkward dancing he was doing

NOW, finally, the top Bad Ass Muthas of 2019!

12) Greta - 

Say what you will about climate change, but you can't deny her passion and dedication, and how inspiring it is (unless you're Prez Trump or Fox News) to see and hear a kid like her do her thing. I admit that her winning the honor of "Person of the Year" is too much. But, we all wish our kids would be this dedicated to what they believe is positive change. Plus, she has a kickass soundtrack. Gets me hyped every time!

11) Dave Chappelle

Back in the day, comedians used to be brought on stage, tasked with the difficult job of making a room full of different types of people laugh. Now, it's not just about the job of jokes, but you have to do so without offending anyone, and with clean living. When did we start holding a comedian's behavior to a higher standard than we do elected officials? Dave saw this, and kept doing what made him popular anyway. In a world where most comedians are running scared from difficult topics, Dave plunges right in. BAD ASS. 

10) Linda Hamilton - 

Old as bleep! We have what's-her-face here, 

who is kinda badass herself, but despite being a badass cyborg (or whatever the hell she is), she still felt the need to ask for help from Linda bleepin Hamilton. LH traded her Hospice bingo card in for some guns and went to town on some machines! It'd be like if your home was being surrounded by aliens, and despite you having some fire power in your home and 911 at your disposal, everyone's first thought is to call grandma. That'd have to be one BAMF of a granny!

9) Masvidal - 

Allow me to describe this brotha to y'all who might not know.

Some guy was talkin smack to Masvidal, and that guy got kneed in the face by Masvidal (fastest knock out in UFC history = 5 secs). Some guy was arrogant enough to say he was the baddest mofo around, and Masvidal scheduled a fight with this dude for a literal baddest mofo around belt. Plus, that same night of the fight, when he was talking to the media after he had won, he started mocking Conor McGregor, talkin bout Conor don't want none of this. He was talking trash, publicly, about Conor, while people were feeding him pizza. BADASS!

If there is ever a fork in the road, and on one side you see The Rock, Jason Statham, and Will Smith chasing after you, and the other you have Masvidal sitting down, eating a slice of pizza, you had better take your chances with the three action heroes over this BAMF.

8) Nunes - 

If you don't know who she is, I wouldn't be surprised. The UFC botched her marketing before and after she fought and beat (badly) Ronda Rousey - yeah, RONDA ROUSEY; remember her? Nunes pretty much ended her career.

The UFC was so certain that Ronda was going to win, and so shocked when she lost, that they missed an opp to get behind a fighter who is better than Ronda (though mad respect for Ronda), and is currently holding TWO belts (first woman to do so). ALSO, she's the first openly gay UFC champ in history. She's so sweet too! - well, unless you're locked in the octagon with her, then she turns into a werewolf.

7) MANDO

I don't know about you, but all of this talk of teamwork from comic book movies can be a bit tiresome. The Avengers, The Justice League, The X-Men. Everybody wants to form a band. What happened to solo acts? What happened to lone rangers? People may say "There's no I in TEAM." Yeah, that's the prob! What about I?! Sometimes, you're Justin Timberlake, and the rest of the group is simply holding you back. That's Mando. He's Disney's updated (non-racist, unless you’re talkin drones) Lone Ranger. He doesn't need teamwork (maybe a weekly cameo, and a baby tag-along, but that's it!). He has beaten up gangs of robots, burnt people up, taken people out Jason Voorhees style, cut people in half, blown people up, blown off heads, BUT because it's Disney, we haven't seen any of that good stuff. He'd be higher on this list if they gave my man an R-rating.

6) Capt Marvel -

Captain Marvel is definitely the most powerful person on this list. She is probably also the fiercest person on this list. In Endgame, when she saw her black daddy (Nick Fury) on the screen, talkin bout Thanos snapped him away, and then something snapped inside of her, and she said "I'm going to go kill that mofo." The Avengers accompanied her, but I don't think she would have needed their help. She didn't really need their help in the final showdown with Thanos. He threw her aside, but you know she was coming back, until Tony got in her way. She is so fiery that it wouldn't surprise me if in her sequel, she goes back in time in order to rematch Thanos by herself, to prove her dominance. The reason that she's not higher on the list is because she's so damned destructive. She's just like The Hulk in the fact that she shows up to destroy everything. Now, she's a lot more focused than The Hulk, but she's so powerful that she does more damage. And she doesn't have much of a personality (so far), so it's hard to gauge her badassery of attitude, you know?? Like, if you're a villain, and you get in the way of a gorilla, that gorilla will destroy you in a very spectacularly badass way, but... it's a gorilla, you know??

I’M NOT CALLING HER A GORILLA. Don’t go snitching on me to her.

I just don’t know if she’s a hero or simply has anger management issues. Is she badass or too powerful not to do badass things?

Either way, RESPECT... or she'll come for that ass.

TIME FOR A BREAK - 

Let’s break from all of this badassery with some cuteness

Look how cute it is - I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, back to action.

5) Iron Man - 

Look, Iron-Man started this shit! Who knows what would have become of the MCU had Robert Downey Jr. blew it. Tony Stark assembled the team (granted, he was partly the reason for the break-up), he gave us Spider-Man (with that suit) (he also gave us Ultron, but let's not get bogged down with details), he held his own against Thanos in "Infinity War",

Dr. Strange thought HIM worthy of saving, and no way time travel would have worked in "Endgame" without him. Plus, in the very end, he out-smarted Thanos, and countered Thanos' one-liner ("I am inevitable.") with his own ("And I... [five minutes later - I swear that's what it felt like] am Iron-Man.").

Paid the ultimate sacrifice. Hell yeah, he's on this list. I felt kinda bad for his wife. After IM3, she was barely around. And when Tony died, she was barely comforted... cuz nobody knew her. Oh, well.. she be aiight.

4) Thanos - 

This dude saw his demise coming, and still went straight ahead towards the foes who cut his head off. BADASS! He was exceptionally crafty in playing The Avengers and blowing up their base. Then, he was just sitting around waiting for the main Avengers (Capt, Iron, and Fat Thor). He wanted to gloat a bit first. BADASS! And had Gamora not betrayed him, and had given him the gaunlet, he would have beaten The Avengers AGAIN!

He even died with a cool pose (he took a knee and got his "Thinking Man" on). BADASS!

3) Arya Stark - 

This young lady scared the bleep out of me. She has my fear AND respect. I was actually scared for whomever her current target was... I was like "Run, fool! She gonna get ya! Damn, Arya, you didn't have to do them like that!"

Now, I know I talked about Ruby Rose being a ridiculous choice for Batwoman, but if Arya Stark left on a voyage to Gotham and became Batwoman, I'd buy that. I can see her killing Bane very slowly. This woman is a frickin psychopath, and I love it. She's fearless! She also went up against the top cheese of the white walkers. Y'all remember that badass move she had at the end!

YES! I only wish she had said something cool when she took him out, like... "You've been Starked." No, that's terrible, but something like that. I wish she was the one sitting on the throne, but they... you know... did what they did.

2) Capt America - 

I think that it's fair to say that Capt America was the rock of The Avengers After the snap, he was the only one to keep his shit together; he actually worked to help others keep their shit together.

Meanwhile, Widow is crying in the dark every night while having a PB sandwich and bourbon dinner. And she just gave up on her hair.

Thor became an alcoholic.

And you could say Hulk was ok, but... was he?

I mean, that ain't right. This is avoidance behavior if I've ever seen it.

But, Capt kept it together. Then, that fight with Thanos at the end was one of, if not THE best one on one fight of the series. Using both Thor weapons, meaning he was both badass on a fighting level and a righteousness level - which ain't easy to accomplish. And when he straped tight his shield in that trailer, and gritted his teeth - hell yeah!

Chills. Capt to Thanos: You motha bleeper"

1) John Wick - 

Three movies with no time in-between to shower, sleep, take a piss, brush his teeth, NOTHING! His life for the last few years (it seems like) has been running, lurking, hiding, beating ass.. and beating ass some more. Lord knows what this dude's kill count is up to. His nickname is "Baba Yaga" Have y'all seen what the actual Baba Yaga looks like?

Terrifying. And yet, not as terrifying as John Wick when he's angry at you.

The amount of endurance and focus that has gone into this long stint of murdering (only fueled by rage and a few shots of bourbon from time to time) is uncanny.

In JW3 he makes a guy eat a book (imagine what must be done to a person's jaw for that to happen), he gets shot, stabbed, hit my two cars (seconds within each other)... Nah, y'all ain't hear me! TWO CARS! The people in the cars were trying to kill him! He fought two super ninjas - like IP Man caliber, he beat up an army of soldiers, crawled through a desert, got shot by a friend who betrayed him, fell off of a building (bouncing around a few times before hitting the pavement), and was somehow still good to schedule a fourth movie after all of that - which I assume will pickup right there.

He doesn't have any superpowers (though you wouldn't know), but his tenacity is to be envied, and outdoes everyone else's on this list.

BAMF!!!

[eeveevie]

Nosy nonny back - could you please do A for baby Rosie (but only if you feel like it)? I'm so curious about her - poor sweet child!

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

She’s an astute reader and note-taker. Very observant. She had been following in her father’s footsteps to become a physician (or some kind of specialized doctor, a specialized as one can be in the Vault) and liked to pour over her anatomy and medical books. So in Fallout speak, her “tagged” skills or G.O.A.T tags would be: Medical, Science and Repair (because she was tinkering a lot too). 

2. what activities have they participated in?

Rosie was not interested in the physical aspects of sports, but she enjoyed the statistical aspects of it as well as the physics involved (yes, she figured out how to make sports scientific). So when they made baseball a mandatory participation in the Vault, she leveraged her smarts and found a way to turn herself into one hell of a pitcher- she struck out too many people that eventually they removed her so the other kids could have a fair chance. She saw that as a win. 

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Rosie had to work hard to be good at understanding energy weapons and how to fight in general, as she’s tiny and a shit shot (her eyesight is to blame and even glasses don’t help much). She’s a scrappy fighter with a combat knife if you get too close, and it can be jarring to see this little 5′2′’ nerd going Rambo on raiders. Or if she runs out of ammo just going ape-shit with the stock of her plasma rifle. 

4. what things are they bad at?

Talking, rather, being charming or personable. She’s matter of fact, and speaks rather bluntly. Her vocabulary is extensive, so she’s not the most plainest of speakers, but she still attempts to get her point across with as few words as possible. A woman of few words; though, she’ll nervously ramble under certain circumstances... she is a young (19) woman, after all and can be overwhelmed by her emotions. She really wishes she was better at flirting. And everything associated with romance. 

5. what is their most impressive talent?

Attention to detail. Rosie keeps extremely detailed journals and has done so since adolescence. Her journals are filled with meticulous writings of daily events (weather, current events, etc.), feelings and tasks. Every day since age 13 has been documented in varying degree across stacks and stacks of notebooks. Of course, many of them were lost when she was forced to leave Vault 101. This talent gives her a near photographic memory, but not if she’s under copious amounts of stress. 

ABC OC asks

[thelastbertinelli-a]

Resentment || Discord

Events: Helena tracks down the hide out of a gang she’s been surveilling for a while, Dinah interrupts her and Helena is not happy Date: a while ago Involved: Huntress and Black Canary @heartheblackdamncanary Mentioned: brief mention of Supergirl Trigger warnings: N/A Word count: 1,627

HUNTRESS: She'd been tracking this gang for a while now, ever since they appeared in the city really, trying to find out where they were hiding and most importantly how they had managed to grow so fast, where did they get their money from? She had her suspicions, which was the main reason she'd taken such an interest in this. Helena was about to find out if her suspicions were right or not, she'd finally managed to follow some of the members back to what appeared to be their main hideout. She'd simply been watching for a while, she didn't know how many were inside, she'd seen at least ten different people in the time she'd been watching and there were probably a lot more. She knew going inside was risky as she didn't know exactly what she was walking into, she had to be careful. Her usual method of bursting through a door or window to attack wasn't going to work this time, she had to sneak in, make sure no one spotted her, get the information she was looking for and get out. She'd fight if it came down to it but this was one time she hoped to avoid it.

BLACK CANARY: Huntress had been avoiding her; it wasn't too hard to figure that much out. Helena was no Babs, but the woman had a way of knowing things just the same, and Dinah knew that her return to Gotham hadn't quite remainded under the radar. So, that left one explanation. Helena was avoiding her, and that meant the vigilante was probably pissed at her too. Dinah remembered how they'd left things and the feelings that they'd shared. Neither of them were big on emotions -- Dinah cracking jokes to brush things off and Helena remaining deadpan as always -- but they'd had a moment. A moment that made Dinah realize just how hard it was going to be to leave, and still... Dinah left. She'd tracked Helena down and waited it out a bit before deciding that enough was enough and that it was about time they talked. Of course, Dinah never did claim to have good timing since Huntress was clearly on a solo mission that was likely not going to end well.

"So, are you planning on going in all Rambo and putting an arrow in all of those guys? Or are you thinking something a little more Mission Impossible - Tom Cruise kind of vibe?" Dinah interrupted when she landed softly behind Huntress.

HUNTRESS: Helena had heard that Dinah might be back, she hadn't made any effort to confirm it though, so it wasn't that she was avoiding Dinah per say, just that she didn't know she was back, at least that's what she was going to tell her. She hadn't expected Dinah to show up when Helena was on a mission, Dinah really needed to work on her timing, this was the last thing she needed right now. She had to focus on the mission not on whatever she felt about Dinah leaving and not hearing anything from her for a year, that wasn't important right now.

"I haven't seen either of those movies" Huntress replied, she didn't look at Black Canary though, keeping most of her attention on the building she planned to break into, hopefully without anyone noticing. "You really need to leave, you're not needed or wanted here."

BLACK CANARY: Dinah wasn't expecting a hug or open arms, so Helena's greeting was not surprising -- more of a grunted response than anything. Her eyes surveyed the building in front of them. Shit looked serious; it was too serious for Huntress to be flying solo, but Helena didn't seem to care about that fact. "Since when has anyone's opinion mattered to me?" Dinah shot back. "So, shut up and give me the 4-1-1."

HUNTRESS: Dinah was someone Helena had once considered her best friend, at times her only friend, and she was her teammate, now Helena just wanted her to leave. She'd been hurt and mad when Dinah left and if Dinah thought Helena would just pretend like it didn't happened when she came back she was very wrong. "I don't need your help" she'd been tracking this gang for a while, she had a plan, which didn't involve Dinah. "I have a plan for infiltration, for a quick exit and I have plan if it goes wrong, none of it involves a second person, so why don't you just leave? You're great at that."

BLACK CANARY: "Don't need it or don't want it?" Dinah quipped back, knowing the answer was both. Helena rarely needed help, and even if she did she would never admit it. Team sports were never Helena's thing, but she was a hell of an asset to the Birds in the day and... Dinah trusted her. "Someone has to watch your 6, even if you think it's covered."

HUNTRESS: "You know when I needed you? December when I- doesn't matter" Dinah had left, she'd been gone for a year, she didn't get to come back now and just decide that Helena didn't know what she was doing, like she hadn't been working on this for months. "You left, you made your choice" they weren't friends, they weren't teammates anymore, there was no reason for Dinah to be here. "If I needed back up I'd call Nightwing or Supergirl, someone I trust."

BLACK CANARY: The words were a slap in the face, but now wasn't the time to hit back. A fight now would just blow whatever cover Helena thought she had. The decision to leave hadn't been easy, and leaving Helena and the rest of the Birds of Prey had been the hardest part. December? There was a red flag going off in her head that this detail was important, but just as soon Helena brushed on to add another layer of insults. "Right. Let's talk about how you're best buds with those two after we get what you came here for, alright?"

HUNTRESS: Helena clenched her fists as she resisted the urge to punch Dinah, she didn't have time for this, and Dinah was really pissing her off right now. "There's no we" she exclaimed, still trying to keep herself calm but Dinah was making that very difficult. "You don't get to come back here and decide you know best, I've been working on this since before you came back, this is really important and I'm not going to risk you messing it up just because you have zero faith in me."

BLACK CANARY: "This isn't about faith," Dinah hissed back with a roll of her eyes. "This is about me trying to have your back because that's what we used to do. I don't see why that has to change now." Except that everything had changed between them when Dinah had packed her bags and left her world behind.

HUNTRESS: Dinah was her best friend, the one she shared things with she'd never told anyone else, she never thought she'd ever feel so much anger towards her, maybe Colleen was right and she did have rage issues, but she had a lot to be angry about. "You don't-" every word out of Dinah's mouth seemed to just make Helena angrier, Dinah was acting like her leaving wasn't a big deal, that nothing had to change between them and it made Helena want to punch her, did she really not realize how much her leaving had affected Helena, or did she just not care? "It has to change because I don't trust you anymore, because I would rather go in there alone than have you as my backup" she said in a harsh whisper, she couldn't yell like she wanted to because then they might be discovered. "You made your choice when you left, you're not welcome in my life anymore."

BLACK CANARY: She should have expected it. The anger. Helena had always had her fair share of anger. It was an anger that Dinah understood on a certain level. Their anger came from different places, but they both wanted to see justice done in the world. It had taken time, years even, but Dinah had managed to find a way past Helena's anger to really know the other woman. Now, she'd managed to fuck it up in some attempt to becoming someone else. "Okay," she said with a nod. "I'll leave you to it." She left Helena there, but she lingered around long enough to watch Huntress slip in and out of the building safely.

HUNTRESS: Growing up the way she did she'd never really had friends, she'd hang out with the kids of the other Mafia families when they came over for meetings but she didn't consider them friends. She didn't have any friends as she got older either, more focused on her training and later her mission to care about making friends, then she'd met Dinah. Dinah had been her first friend, her only friend for a long time, the first person Helena had allowed to get to know her underneath all the anger, then Dinah had left. Dinah had left and Helena didn't want to let her back into her life, she wouldn't give Dinah the power to hurt her like that again.

Dinah finally accepted that Helena didn't want her help and she could finally get on with her mission. Getting inside undetected was easy, finding the location of the information she needed without anyone noticing her was harder and getting out without being spotted was the hardest part of all. She was determined though, if she was spotted it would prove that Dinah was right and that was the last thing she wanted. Ultimately she was in and out in ten minutes, now with the information in her possession, all without the help of Dinah.