#ramblings of a reader

[readerofoddities]

I'm a sucker for fancy "ooohhh space/tarot card" symbolism for the winners

BUT

Joel being that fuck ass car is hilarious and I want it to be a thing

Just imagine it:

The sun, the stars, the moon, etc and then... CAR

Everyone gets a fancy illustration or smth and then it's just a scribble of Joel driving his car with the biggest grin on his face

It also fits with how unserious this season felt. So this season's winner deserves an unserious symbol

I've decided, actually. As the leader of the winner's symbolism council (/j) I've decided that Joel MUST be a car

Anyways, I need to go draw my seasonly drawing of the winner

[rememberwren]

Thinking about how when you’re drunk—and I mean really drunk—you get it in your head to catcall men. They could use a little harassment. When you reach that point, your friends immediately know it’s time to cut you off, acting like the Secret Service as they usher you out of the bar and towards the Uber. But they couldn’t anticipate the group of men standing outside the bar swapping laughs and smoking.

Of course you pick the scariest one of the lot and:

“Hey!” you shout, half giggling. “Hey—you, in the mask!”

The man turns. You can’t see his mouth with the surgical mask in place but you can tell his eyebrows are raised. He’s fucking huge, towering over his counterparts (who are nothing to sniff at), thick and strong. His head cocks in silent question.

“Can I get your number?” you shout, licking your friend’s hand when she slaps it over your mouth. All your friends rush to brush the guy off, but he’s already ashing his cigarette under his boot, slipping his hands into his pocket, and crossing the street quietly.

He stays a healthy distance away, aware of how it looks: a man his size approaching a group of young, inebriated women. You think he’s come to harass you in return, or maybe just to mock you—either way you are stunned silent, mouth agape, eyes wide. He’s so much taller up this close.

“Got a pen?” he asks.

He only approaches then, shoulders hunched to make himself appear smaller and innocuous. He takes your hand in his own and writes his phone number on your forearm.

When you wake up hungover the next morning, his number is there on your arm along with a reminder that you hadn’t been able to see in the dim lighting of the parking lot: XXX-XXXX—S. Drink water.

[ayyy-pee]

waking up freezing and shivering, teeth chattering every night because your husband is a blanket hog. you know it's not on purpose. he just can't help it. doesn't even know he does it most times. you'd think after years together you'd be used to it, but waking up curled into the fetal position as you try to retain even a smidge of warmth is something you don't think you'll ever adjust to.

so you reach behind you, feeling your spouses large form wrapped snug as a bug in your shared blanket and you grip onto the fabric. you pull as hard as you can but you don't manage to move him even an inch. you try once more...same result.

"ken..." you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself. no response. "kento..."

he doesn't budge. you're tempted to just get up and go grab another blanket, but your husband, despite his seriousness, can get quite pouty when you do that. so you tap him hard instead sure to jab him in the spot you know is his most sensitive. this seems to do the trick as he grunts in response.

"I'm cold," you tell nanami and he sits up quickly, realizing what he's done. his pajama top hangs off one shoulder. his blonde hair is pointing every which way and sleep is heavy on his eyelids, threatening to weigh him down again any minute.

"I'm sorry, love," nanami speaks, voice rough and deep with exhaustion, but the sincerity in his apology clear.

then he's throwing the blanket back over you both. only he adds in a little extra warmth as he wraps his arm around your waist and throws a large leg over your body.

nanami buries his face in your neck, adjusting himself so that he can be as close to you as possible. only a few seconds pass before you hear his light snoring behind you. and you know the warmth you feel is from more than just his touch.

[pastelclovds]

“til the bed breaks”

[starsofang]

Simon didn’t like to hold you. He liked to be held.

At first, you didn’t understand why he’d turn his back to you in bed without saying anything. You thought you’d done something to him, or maybe he was in a bad mood. You couldn’t be any more wrong.

Simon Riley, an absolute brute of a soldier, was silently asking for you to be the big spoon. You nearly didn’t believe it when he finally brought it to your attention.

He was too embarrassed to ask you, so he’d resort to flipping on to his side and wait. And wait. Until he realized you didn’t catch the memo, even after many hopeless attempts.

In his mind, he thought being the big spoon would somehow convince you he wasn’t manly enough, as if his title in the service or his pure stature wasn’t proof enough of his masculinity.

To him, being held was a blanket of security. Where he’d always have to watch his back out on the field, both literally and metaphorically, he didn’t have to keep an eye out at all times with you. It was a chance for him to find solace in a person, and when he explained this to you, he was surprised to find you so willing.

And oh, when it happened, Simon nearly kicked himself for holding back on verbalizing it for so long.

The warmth of your arms when they wrapped around him from behind, your face buried between his shoulder blades, legs tangled in his, he thought that this was what inner peace felt like.

He was silly to think you’d ever be the one to judge him for what most deemed ‘unmasculine’. In all of his broad glory, he felt safe the moment you held him, like a child does when they feel a mother’s embrace except it was from someone he loved dearest to his heart.

And you? You found that being the big spoon was rather enjoyable when the man you’re holding was so damn comfortable to snuggle up to. It was a win-win for you both.

You just wished he wasn’t an idiot that left you wondering all those hopeless nights until the truth came out.

[etirabys]

can anyone find me that mesopotamian clay tablet telling you to marry a party girl because she'll bring you joy

[onlinedolly]

nanami who secretly gets off to being so much older then you, his cock twitching whenever you remind him of the gap between your ages. he loved having you clinged around his arm in public, a subtle ego boost as he watched how people reacted. he pretended to be better then that, rolling his eyes everytime satoru said something crude. you were barely in university when he had gotten with you and didn’t like the way his cock stirred when gojo joked about ‘robbing the craddle.’ he just couldn’t help it, not when you were so young and pretty. not when you got so shy when he worked his cock into you, something an older more experienced woman would never do. the thought itself could make him cum, knowing you were innocent and shy and young.

nanami would just love his younger girlfriend so much 🤒

[hellishattempt]

nanami kento comes home on a saturday afternoon, hands full of groceries and hair freshly cut. in the distance, he hears his precious wife humming along to her favorite soundtrack. you must not have heard him come in. he smiles to himself, setting the groceries on the counter, but not unloading them. that can wait. right now, he wants to hold you.

he slips out of his shoes, padding quietly to the laundry room where you are folding towels. you have your back to him, headphones lodged in your ears. as nanami gets closer, the music bleeding from your headphones becomes audible. he chuckles softly. no matter how many times he tells you it's bad for your ears, you insist on listening to your music at just below full volume.

snaking his arms around your waist, you jump at the sudden contact. nanami presses his chest against your back as you take out your headphones, leaning into his touch. you sway in silence for a moment, nanami resting his chin on your shoulder. when you turn to face him, your expression changes at the sight of his hair.

"your hair," you state dumbly. "you cut it."

"yes," your husband muses. "is there something wrong with it?"

"no, no!" you assure nanami, studying his hair. "i just wasn't expecting it. you normally have me do it, which you know i don't mind doing."

"i know, but i didn't want to bother you on your cleaning day."

your expression softens at his words. nanami, your ever loving, ever caring husband, always thinking about you before himself. you reach one hand up, smoothing the hair down the back of his neck. as you bring your hand up, the freshly cut hair pricks your palm, and nanami lets out a low hiss.

you immediately apologize, pulling away. "did that hurt?"

"yes, but it's okay. it felt... good," nanami confessed. "... do it again. please." his voice is thick and demanding, and you obey without hesitation.

this time, you use just the tips of your fingertips to graze his undercut, beginning at the base of his neck. his breathing quickens as you continue to to run your hands through his undercut, going up and down, switching from one hand to both, thumbs caressing the sides of the cut. the laundry room fills with his melodic whimpers and faint groans. his eyes are shut tight, teeth digging into his bottom lip.

"fuck..." he cusses lowly.

"you okay, nani?" you giggle, stopping momentarily. his eyes flash open, pupils blown. "kento?"

"let's go to the bedroom," he insisted, grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the master bedroom. you barely have time react before nanami pushes you back on to the bed, practically ripping your leggings off.

"kento, what are you doin-" you try to protest, his hands clamping around your wrist and bringing them down to grip his hair. his head disappears between your leg, lips latching around your clit. involuntarily, your fingers tighten around his sharp undercut. he moans into your cunt, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your body.

from then on, nanami kento always got an undercut.

[luna-andra]

Sukuna rolling his eyes at you after watching you struggle to open your fruit snack pack for less than a minute. He snatches it away from your useless hands and easily tears it open for you. The crinkling of the bag was irritating him, that's why he helped you. But you still give him a peck on the cheek, making him turn away with a grumble about how much of a brat you are.

[abyssyby]

sylus’s heart, too big for his human body, pounding like a war drum every time you call him yours

“hi, my love.” and he has to take a minute— take a quick breath before responding with a soft ‘hello’ or a nonchalant (or as nonchalant as he can manage) quip about having missed him.

“i’m alright, my dear.” and all thought ceases and his fingers freeze over the wound he was tending to. his anger fizzles away like the rain on the pavement when the sun emerges from the clouds. all strength leaves his limbs as he rests his forehead to your uninjured shoulder, where a small but tender kiss is placed, and revels in the sound of your breathing.

“my heart, please.” and he’s gone. anything you ask for, anything you want is as good as yours if he has anything to do about it. his money, his home, his touch, his time— all yours, yours, yours.

“my sylus.” and he is at rest. the world is quiet, there is only you, your warmth, your voice. when the memory of his name returns to you, and he sees in your eyes that recognition—and love, despite who he was, who he is and who he will ever be in your bonded lifetimes, he gives up his entire being to you.

he is yours, and how he wishes your greed for proclaiming it would grow tenfold, until even the mere thought of him belongs to no one else.

[dante-mightdie]

I feel like simon is the type to off-handedly mention something about his life without realising how actually devastating it is

like on his birthday, when price had the canteen cook up a shit little cake for him, he simply mentioned how he’d never had a birthday cake before. and then he’d blow out the candles and shove two slices down his throat. meanwhile price can’t stop thinking about little simon hoping he’d get one every year the night before his birthday

[readerofoddities]

Was nobody going to tell me that Iskall made a video addressing the allegations in a MINECRAFT VIDEO??????

I shit you not, I had a dream that this happened

Innocent or not, addressing your allegations with your Minecraft character is fucking insane

[evis-gossip]

Thinking hard about retired!Simon and retired!Riley. A cute little fluffy thing about Simon and his K9 unit dog. Cuz he named the dog after himself and I personally find that a little odd, that at the same time, the dog would somehow be an exact replica of him but as a German Shepard.

Also thinking about how worried Simon would be about you and the dog getting along. His lil birdie he so in love with he's already planing your future together has to love Riley as much as he does. And maybe you've mentioned in passing that you don't enjoy dogs that much, but he holds on to faith. Simon knows how lovely Riley can be he just hopes he likes you as well remember how he has de same personality .

And then you meet Riley. It's the first time he has you over to his place. The flat is pretty empty, barely any furniture and absolutely no decoration, but it doesn't even cross his mind that you might find that odd, he just wants you to like Riley you can redecorate as much as you want once you move in. The dog barks when Simon comes in, and would usually go back to his nap, an old doggo yes he is, he gets up and goes to inspect this new guest. His tail starts wagging happily when you crouch down and coo over him, licking your face and practically jumping on you when you scratch behind his ears.

Simon almost frowns. He hadn't considered the possibility that you would start paying more attention to the dog than him, kissing his head repeatedly and sitting on the floor to cuddle him cuz Simon doesn't let Riley on the sofa. He was supposed to get cuddles from you but no, his dog gets all the attention. And then you start to spoil Riley rotten. Buying him all kinds of expensive treats, new toys and enrichment activities. Never would have Simon tried to put Riley on pastel pink sweater, but you do and Riley lets you. And Simon is almost jealous. Every time you coo at Riley that he's such good boy, yes he is, while rubbing his belly, he just crosses his arms, thinking "I'm a good boy too, I want belly rubs too"

Masterlist

[suiana]

yandere! mr crawling who is super duper clingy and never wants to let you go ☹️ he'll actually sob and cry if you ever as much as leave him alone for just a second. what do you mean you need to leave him??? no you don't! if it's something you can't do with him, you don't need to do it at all!

yandere! mr crawling who will unintentionally emotionally manipulate you. he'll cry and ask if you hate him, begging you to stop trying to leave or he'll be devastated. it's not his fault, he can't help it! he just gets so emotional when it comes to you... please never leave his side, okay?

yandere! mr crawling who thinks you're the absolute cutest and most perfect thing ever! okay, so what if you tried to kill several people?? you can do no wrong in his eyes ❤️ if you wanted to kill them, then they definitely deserved it!

yandere! mr crawling who gets you things that you like. oh you like that crowbar? here's like 5 more of them! :333 do you like them? yes? ok praise him please! he loves getting praised byyou. oh! oh! pat him too! he absolutely loves it when you run your hands through his hair and ruffle him >___< it makes him feel so wanted and loved by you.

yandere! mr crawling who just wants to be loved by you. please don't raise your voice at him, and definitely don't hate him ☹️ he'll be cute for you! you don't like scary things? he's trying to find ways to make himself less scary, all for you. just don't push him away. please.

[ventique18]

Greeting 2025 like

"Just got married! I love my spouse. 🥰"

"Gonna be creating royal heirs tonight. Wish me luck."

Love how they deliberately made it look like he's wearing a wedding veil in his New Year card and then immediately releasing a card that makes him look like he's trying to hit the jackpot on your wedding night. Definitely on purpose lmao.

[simply-ewok]

rolling over, half asleep, in the middle of the night and when you stretch your arm out you end up smacking ghost in the face, and you can’t help but fling yourself back with a loud gasp before realizing it’s just your man, who yet again, snuck inside and cozied up to you without stirring you (bc he hates waking up his baby) bc he was able to come home early and chose to surprise you. and after you relax and begin apologizing for hitting him you hear his low, growly chuckle as he sits up to pull you into his chest, kissing your forehead before mumbling into your sweet smelling hair “it’s all right lovie, di’n’t mean to scare you.”