#ramble/oversharing in tags!

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

I hate that the more I learn about Alfons, the more similarities I see between him and me

[heretherebeturtles-comic]

DID YOU KNOW THAT ANDY SURIANO TALKED ABT YOUR COMIC ON INSTA???????????

YEAH I SAW IT!

really cool!!!!!! nice things were said about my art and story!!!!!! i am so flattered!!!!!!!!!! i am still figuring out how to react to it all!!!

[f-imaginings]

I have a genuine question being Aroace but I'm afraid to ask and my headcanon will go to waste.

But KMKY's Ford always seemed to be at least in some way the aroace look (being demi or gray that is), did you do it out of want, in the idea of looking, or is it just part of the character and you never thought of yourself in a sexuality for him?

I can definitely see Ford being ace!

I myself am demisexual so I definitely think some of that perspective leeched into how I write Ford. Because my own experience informed how I wrote him, little things like being kind of oblivious/frustrated when strangers flirt with him (the hand witch or the girl from college who worked in the aquarium with the legwarmers lmao) because they don't know him!!! So how dare they!!! Lmao, falling for Bill's mind first since it didn't really matter that he was a shape or a muse or whatever, the rest would work itself out, feeling seen and only crushing initially because it seemed like his mind was being appreciated first and foremost, and treating their sex life like an experiment/engaging with the kinks/power plays inherent rather than just going through the motions (because kink makes more sense sometimes than just some undefined biological urge that you're supposed to have but no one can explain it to you, yet it's perfectly understandable to go 'oh they like feeling powerless as a powerful being I understand that perfectly, now how can I get creative with it'.)

I definitely think he wanted romantic attention from Bill, and wanted to be valued romantically (hence going on a date with Susan and Cathy Crenshaw) but the idea of getting romantic attention from a stranger is unappealing (hence why he was so reluctant to go on the date with Susan) and wanted the sort of holistic acceptance that comes with ideas of romance (because then his polydactylism will be accepted along with his unique mind) but the traditional trappings of romantic relationships aren't that appealing (was worried that he would have to engage in gay culture/grow a moustache and have a makeover to be in this relationship ECT). Bill was great for him BC he accepted and actively sought out all of Ford's weirdness and the dark bits you're ashamed to show, and then got freaky with them lmao. And there's no way to cement a bond quicker than to show someone your most vulnerable parts and have them accept those things unconditionally. Turning shame into dependence right there. That truly is the no one knows you like I do trap, and that shit feels inescapable.

Because of my own experience I know that you can be demisexual and still have a preference for gender or looks, hence why he built the "flattering vessel" for Bill to not only be flattering by beauty standards in general but also subconsciously to be exactly what Ford found attractive. The kicker is that personality means more than good looks, so when Bill inhabited the body in a different way than Stanford expected but he still found his personality all the more fascinating because of it, that was probably what cinched his feelings BC he got to know more about Bill's weirdness and see how it matched his own.

I am giving you a big virtual hug anon BC no head canon is ever wasted, how you engage with a story you like is important and you deserve to feel seen and heard when you engage in content you like. If I can go some way towards making the fandom of this fic a safe welcoming place it's my privilege to do so as a writer!

[blimbo-buddy]

”Damn I’ve been feeling kind of shitty about what I went through when I was 15-16. I wonder if there’s a way to get all these feelings out besides therapy”

SpottedLeaf and Anya:

[shimmershy]

Hello volta ! I wanted to know, how many "volt" do you produce ? ... Yep... I just did that... I Can only pray for my life now..

I miss you're drawing...

I miss you're Frisk cute face

More importantly, i miss you're beautifull Chara...

I miss you...

Hello! To answer your question, I definitely produce a normal and safe amount of volts! That may come as a "shock" because of my name, but it is definitely true! No dangerous high voltage situations here! ^_^

Teehee. Also thank you!! That's very sweet, it's nice to be acknowledged and missed, and I also apologize for the lack of art and activity here in general. I miss drawing Undertale-related stuff myself, especially Chara and Frisk, but there's just been a whole mixture of reasons why I haven't been posting much.

No need to read all of this; I have a feeling I'm going to be rambling a bit, but overall it's just because my interest in Undertale kind of fluctuates and since I was kind of hardcore in an Undertale phase for a few months (or like...a year kinda), it's died down a bit lately. But not to worry; Undertale's always been my main interest, so it's always kinda "there", or comes back eventually.

But ALSO, I've become interested in a lot of other things lately too. And they're aaaall fighting for my attention because I'm like equally interested in all of them and that creates its own problem. Basically I've been having trouble creating stuff at all lately due to being all over the place, but being kind of "no thoughts, head empty" at the same time (brain problems...)

And on top of that, maybe this is too awkward or personal to share, but it's been hard for me to keep track of what's important to me lately, so it's like. I know I want to draw, I know I want art to continue to be my thing, but I don't know what art I want to create. I don't know what kind of passion or project I want to devote my time to, and often it's just been driving me to avoid art altogether. I get overwhelmed because it feels like I don't have enough time to get to all the things I want to do, and it takes me so long to draw simple things, AND my interest in things changes more often than I can keep up with. Should I draw a simple drawing today, because it might be fun, and I could complete it easily, even though the reward will be short lived? Or should I try to work on this larger project again, because it's what I want to work on more and will probably make me feel more satisfied in the long run, even though it might not be fun now? Even though I might lose interest in it tomorrow and the progress will kinda be wasted? OR should I do this completely other thing?

It's just very. Eugh. I think too much. There's so much stuff I want to create, but I guess at this point I'm just going to have to give it time and patience. I've been trying to focus my energy on enjoying other parts of my life instead for now. It kind of helps.

But Undertale is not dead in my heart. Yes it is 2024, but I still have at least two Undertale stories I've wanted to start and just haven't gotten around to yet, so there's that at the very least. I doubt those will leave me alone until I do something with them. Plus I've been drawing Chara and Frisk Undertale for like, 8 years so I'm not going to stop now???? So. Woe. Hopes and Dreams be upon ye. 🎊

[graveyarrdshift]

Wow, I think I just had a revelation..

I've always been very skeptical about my life, my future and everything else, but I wasn't sure why until now. Apparently, because both of my parents neglected me since I can remember, I had no one who believed in me and my abilities, which has made my adulthood to be full of doubts and uncertainty. I tried to dispel this fact by telling myself that maybe they weren't so bad and no family is ever perfect, right? I tried to live a lie and reject the truth for too long. But I'm perfectly sure of one thing: I refuse to give up and turn into a person I am not and will never become.

[daeyumi]

i think uh. the Announcement has ruined my night actually. the more i think abt it the worse it gets haha.. 🙃🫠 like literally i don’t think there’s a way the movie can be good. i’m gonna get off social media for tonight & go play switch or smthn,,,,,,,,

[bunnyboy-juice]

my best friend just told me she's gonna show me her regular ass grocery order when she gets home and i seriously cheered as if she said she was coming over Right Now

[cerubean]

finally starting a new gameplay save to explore growing together, this is max and india

apartment build by florwalsims (pls go check out their builds if you haven’t already! they’re so realistically detailed and fit perfectly in del sol valley)

[cloudcountry]

my mental health just took a huge beating so i'll be slower to interact again!! might take a bit of a break tbh ^^ i think i wrote more than i should have in such a short period of time.

[heartstringsduet]

Will go on vacation for a week, which means you won't see me here much. You're going to miss out on SO MUCH with me gone: The same Tarlos gifs with likely the same commentary by me

Me doing ask games and then getting overwhelmed and answering only like 2 asks coming in

Random funny video (funny to ME okay)

Angsty or smutty snippet from one of my WIPs, asked for or not

My wonderful thoughts

[lazaruspiss]

oh i NEED to meet the person who would willingly put their dick in this. also: im sorry about live blogging my sex toy window shopping but in my defense it's really funny and also this is my blog and i can do what i want

[arvandus]

Me contemplating posting a TMI NSFW thought on everyone's dash this fine Friday morning....

[lucirine]

medkit bookmark i may or may not print out

[incandescent-ruins]

butch lesbian or trans man. which is it. does it matter yeah it matters to me i like labels. however i also love feeling safe and being on t and passing as a cis man makes me feel safer than i ever did before. do i miss being in any sort of community yeah but maybe that is what I need to accept as man(?). does it matter whether i am a man or not if i am seen as one and take steps to ensure this continues happening. am i going to stop taking t no. am i going to stop the carefully calculated way i talk and speak and walk and act and sound and dress. no because i like it and it makes people respect me more and while i hate that i have allowed myself to escape into this i do enjoy things being easier

[catinasink]

feeling like you dont deserve things that are actually necessary for survival, beloved?