#because I do genuinely enjoy sharing my art here and being in this little community. My brain is just weird and bad sometimes. Often.
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Hello volta ! I wanted to know, how many "volt" do you produce ? ... Yep... I just did that... I Can only pray for my life now..
I miss you're drawing...
I miss you're Frisk cute face
More importantly, i miss you're beautifull Chara...
I miss you...
Hello! To answer your question, I definitely produce a normal and safe amount of volts! That may come as a "shock" because of my name, but it is definitely true! No dangerous high voltage situations here! ^_^
Teehee. Also thank you!! That's very sweet, it's nice to be acknowledged and missed, and I also apologize for the lack of art and activity here in general. I miss drawing Undertale-related stuff myself, especially Chara and Frisk, but there's just been a whole mixture of reasons why I haven't been posting much.
No need to read all of this; I have a feeling I'm going to be rambling a bit, but overall it's just because my interest in Undertale kind of fluctuates and since I was kind of hardcore in an Undertale phase for a few months (or like...a year kinda), it's died down a bit lately. But not to worry; Undertale's always been my main interest, so it's always kinda "there", or comes back eventually.
But ALSO, I've become interested in a lot of other things lately too. And they're aaaall fighting for my attention because I'm like equally interested in all of them and that creates its own problem. Basically I've been having trouble creating stuff at all lately due to being all over the place, but being kind of "no thoughts, head empty" at the same time (brain problems...)
And on top of that, maybe this is too awkward or personal to share, but it's been hard for me to keep track of what's important to me lately, so it's like. I know I want to draw, I know I want art to continue to be my thing, but I don't know what art I want to create. I don't know what kind of passion or project I want to devote my time to, and often it's just been driving me to avoid art altogether. I get overwhelmed because it feels like I don't have enough time to get to all the things I want to do, and it takes me so long to draw simple things, AND my interest in things changes more often than I can keep up with. Should I draw a simple drawing today, because it might be fun, and I could complete it easily, even though the reward will be short lived? Or should I try to work on this larger project again, because it's what I want to work on more and will probably make me feel more satisfied in the long run, even though it might not be fun now? Even though I might lose interest in it tomorrow and the progress will kinda be wasted? OR should I do this completely other thing?
It's just very. Eugh. I think too much. There's so much stuff I want to create, but I guess at this point I'm just going to have to give it time and patience. I've been trying to focus my energy on enjoying other parts of my life instead for now. It kind of helps.
But Undertale is not dead in my heart. Yes it is 2024, but I still have at least two Undertale stories I've wanted to start and just haven't gotten around to yet, so there's that at the very least. I doubt those will leave me alone until I do something with them. Plus I've been drawing Chara and Frisk Undertale for like, 8 years so I'm not going to stop now???? So. Woe. Hopes and Dreams be upon ye. 🎊
#ask#godofchaoss#I miss creating stuff and being around here too. I do hope I get out of whatever little funk I'm in now soon#because I do genuinely enjoy sharing my art here and being in this little community. My brain is just weird and bad sometimes. Often.#I hate rambling here because while I do like to talk. I'm just some guy and it's really unnecessary for me to overshare#aaaall these personal reasons when most people don't care too much or notice that I've been kind of inactive. It's like. Embarrassing.#I'm hiding my face in my hands I'm sorryyyyy for having too much to say and oversharing and probably being overdramatic....!!#The post box and the tags are like my echo chamber. I say a bunch of stuff but then I forget people may potentially read all that stuff.#My baaaaaad my bad.
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A Letter to Talented Creators
I've been part of this community for 20 years, watching artists rise, fall, leave for new journeys, or simply stop playing or creating. We've received amazing content, but we've also missed out on much.
I wonder how many of these artists could still be creating extraordinary content if they had the support of their communities. It’s common to encounter cliques of creators who vilify anyone considering making a living doing what they love. They’ll use every trick to convince you that not only do you NOT deserve it, but that pursuing it somehow taints you.
With every new friend and artist I meet, my first advice is always: FIND a way to monetize what you do. I believe that if you have the chance to make a living doing what you love, you gain MORE TIME to do what you're great at and, especially, what others love.
Besides, you don’t need everyone’s support—just those who, like me and many other players, are willing to contribute to ensure you have the time you need to keep producing and delivering something only you can create. There are ideas that haven’t been thought of and projects that haven’t been started. Life brings unexpected situations, and we never truly know what goes on behind the scenes for each person who shares their art with the world.
Let me tell you, people are willing to support you. In reality, there are more people willing to support a creator than those who aren't. The difference is that those who are willing don’t make as much noise, but they genuinely enjoy helping an artist who continually exceeds expectations.
I know some people think, “If I make money from this, I’ll have to commit to a level I’m not willing to.” And if that’s the case, that’s fine. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. However, I see this commitment as something positive, but I respect those who disagree. As an artist, you want a certain level of "healthy" pressure. After all, art requires it—not too much pressure, but not too little, either.
Criquette, for instance, is one of the best creators for The Sims 2 in my view. He made incredible things that nearly every player has used. He was ambitious on a level I’ve rarely seen. But he’s been inactive for years. I wonder how much more he could have created if he’d been able to monetize his work—cover household bills, put food in the fridge, or handle basic expenses. How much more time he might have had to create and share? How many brilliant things we could have today in The Sims if he were still here? But he wasn’t monetized, and maybe he was never interested in it, and that’s okay!
For every artist who monetizes, there are many who prefer to do it as a hobby. And that’s wonderful. There are many runners who do it for well-being, pleasure, social connections, or the benefits it brings to life. However, there are those who run professionally. They commit to a level an “amateur” NEVER would. They undergo training that a casual or hobbyist runner would NEVER endure. They maintain diets that others would NEVER tolerate. But the fact that some monetize running and turn it into a career doesn’t prevent others from running for love, fun, or enjoyment.
So, what I’m trying to say is: it’s all okay. If you believe monetizing your talent would give you more QUALITY time to sit and produce what you love, give you the chance to take someone you love to a special restaurant simply because you can, or allow you to be BETTER at what you do because it frees you from worrying about adult responsibilities—then do it!
Be prepared for the noise others will make, but remember that those people aren’t your target audience. Even if they make noise, they don’t consume what you produce. And if they do, they might do so in secret—because attacking a creator and consuming that creator’s work is contradictory. But believe me, there’s often more inconsistency than consistency in this world. And that’s okay!
Remember that on the other side, there are many kind people who don’t mind contributing a small, medium, or even significant amount to support a creator they love, appreciate, and benefit from. Keep this in mind when considering monetization, no matter which version of The Sims you create for. If there’s even one person willing to support you, that’s all you need to start.
I am sure that with this, you’ll have more time, more quality of life, more joy, and a healthy commitment to push yourself in a positive way to give back to your audience for the support and love they have for what you create.
If I have time to create and contribute today, it’s because of these people. They’ve changed my life, shown me that I have the chance to live the life I genuinely want for myself rather than the life circumstances might have dictated. They show me daily that I can LOVE what I do and make a living from it, and that monetizing it doesn’t take away my love for it—instead, it enhances it. I hope you consider my words.
In the end, remember this phrase: “Beyond daily life and what others think of you, what do you think of yourself?” Your value is something only you define. People will respect you to the extent that you respect yourself. If anyone says you don’t have a place “here,” remember, we’re always speaking about ourselves.
We can only give to others what we have, what we are. Trust in your talent and find a way to monetize it, whatever it may be—whether it’s making jarred cakes, selling pudding door-to-door, or creating content for The Sims. I’ve done all these things, and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that our circumstances change according to our sense of worth. When we recognize that every job has value and that there’s nothing wrong with making a living if you’re providing benefits to others with what you have to offer... So follow your heart. Take risks, give it your all, and be the artist you want to be, because there are people ready to support you. You deserve it, and you will succeed. I hope this letter reminds you of your worth.
Never forget that each of your creations is a unique expression, something only you can bring to the world. May that value and uniqueness always guide you and give you the confidence to keep doing what you love.
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Some Thoughts Regarding James Somerton
I know I'm rather late to the conversation and some of these points may have already been talked about in some form elsewhere on the site, but if you don't mind, I have some thoughts of my own regarding the subject of hbomberguy's latest video and I would like to take time to voice. This blog is normally dedicated to music and music writing, not posts about disgraced Youtubers, so I apologize for the detour in regularly scheduled programming.
First, I think it's important to make the distinction that Somerton isn't just a case of "problematic Youtube guy got owned... twice" but rather a genuine case of academic dishonesty, which is several grades above youtuber drama. This isn't something like Tati Westbrook getting angry at James Charles for sucking dick and cock at a birthday dinner. This isn't Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas or whomever having beef. It's not Charlie Critikal talking about some stupid drama of the day or someone just using Youtube videos to say a bunch of gross and problematic stuff. No. This is a fucking grifter who not only lied, cheated, and stole his way to the top, but also did it by using a vulnerable community that has long had their voices snuffed out and their history completely rewritten or wiped from existence altogether. What history he didn't plagiarize, he twisted and outright lied about. He just made shit up to suit his own gross agenda.
A lot of things about James Somerton left me absolutely livid, and I admit that I didn't even know who he was until hbomberguy's video. I think what makes me the most mad is that I went to undergrad and grad school with a number of jackoffs that were just like him. People that didn't give a shit about the art of writing and research and just treated academia and the pursuit of knowledge and how to critically engage with art and media into a stupid game that only chumps take seriously. Somerton pisses me off because I AM a writer. When I write the Ranting and Raving series of posts on here, that stuff doesn't just fly out of my ass. I have to sit with a song, study it, research it, and make sure I know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a clown. I also have to make sure that I link and credit where I'm getting information from. It's not just important for my own satisfaction, but it's important for anyone who stumbles upon a post on this blog and takes time out of their day to read it and/or reblog it.
I think that's the part that makes me the most mad. That he and Nick Hergott have so little respect for the work that goes into researching and writing about a topic that other people are really passionate about. Spending time with something, studying it, and figuring out an interesting and unique perspective on it is a great feeling. Sharing what you find or how you see something with others and having them either like or reblog your work is an even greater feeling. That's my writing that somebody enjoyed and thought was worth sharing with others. Fuck fuck fuck Somerton for thinking you can take a million little shortcuts to get to that result.
While I'm on the topic, I don't think Hergott gets a pass for Somerton's actions. I've seen some people make the argument that he isn't complicit and there's a chance that he genuinely had no clue that Somerton was doing this... but I don't buy it. There's no way he didn't know and wasn't in on it in some capacity. Even if he wasn't, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out in his video on this situation, Nick is, whether you like it or not, an accomplice to Somerton's lies and he is complicit in the blame, due to his name being included in the "Written By" credit of a lot of those videos with Somerton. The way I see it, I find it hard to believe that he couldn't have known. I imagine part of Hergott's signing on with Somerton was that in the event that shit hits the fan, Hergott would be used as a fall guy to help deflect accusations of plagiarism.
To return to Somerton, in a way, he's almost worse than AI/Chat-GPT because, really, an AI has no morals. It can only do what someone punches in and tells it to do. Somerton is a guy who does have genuinely insidious ambitions and knows fully what he's doing. That shit about "only the boring gays who didn't mess around in the eighties survived the aids crisis" is the wildest and grossest accusation I've seen about gay people in some time. The wild takes about the Nazis (especially all the wrong things he said about fitness relating to Nazis) should also raise a lot of red flags. I'll say this though, I don't blame anybody in the slightest for not fully realizing Somerton was saying shit like that or doing all of what he was doing until hbomberguy and Todd presented it a certain way and made it all very clear. It's easy to not notice it when Somerton buries it by ripping stuff off from other, better writers. So, if you were someone who was a big fan and was genuinely shocked by the things Todd had to fact-check and debunk and worried that you're a bad person for having not caught any of them, trust me, you're not. Nobody should blame you for not catching it. <3
While I'm ranting about this, I want to say that Somerton's patreon grift was really gross to see exposed as well (through Dan Olson's really great thread, which can be read here). I understand the allure of wanting to buy expensive gear and thinking that's somehow needed in order to make Good Content™️, but there's a stark difference between someone saying "I think I need to shell out a little money in order to get something of higher quality" and "I need to have the appearance of looking like my stuff is being made with high quality stuff." As someone who has been experimenting with trying to turn his writing into video, I did some audio tests this weekend and realized that maybe (just maybe) the old Turtle Beach microphone my brother left behind when he moved out isn't going to cut it. If I want to record something I can be happy with, I'm gonna have to bite it and look at getting something decent, but somewhat affordable from a Best Buy or something. You don't need the best tech in order to make something great, but you can't use copper tools forever if you have the means to be able to enjoy using iron ones, you know?
Somerton's grift reminded me of guys like Onision and Spoony. Grifters who looked to Patreon and other creator donation sites for an easy pay day and would bitch and cry and complain that it's your fault when they don't get it. Somerton making poor financial choices ON TOP of it being money that he scammed from a community of people that were looking to invest in a voice that they genuinely thought was speaking for them in a meaningful way, only makes the grift more disgusting and foul. Even if he's just "some Youtuber," Somerton still had a responsibility to his audience to present queer topics in an ACCURATE manner. He didn't and we all have the right to be angry with him about it. This isn't just silly youtuber controversy, this is academic dishonesty in it's purest form and if it gets you expelled from any college program, it should get you expelled from being able to show your face on Youtube as well, which is how Somerton's story will end.
I've been on the internet for many years. I've seen some of the worst, most problematic creators of all time find a way to bounce back from all kinds of controversy and find some kind of success again. I don't think that will happen for Somerton. Not one bit. What he's done is something you can never come back from, no matter how much you try to reform. If two different youtubers can make two completely different videos about why you suck, I don't think there's any recovery. What happened this weekend is a now classic episode of World's Most One Sided Fist Fights Caught on Film.
This post has gone on for a while, so let me wrap it up. I mean this without hyperbole and without exaggeration: James Somerton is a disgrace to both media criticism and the art of video creation. I genuinely hope he remains propped up as a cautionary tale of what can happen when you fully decide you have absolutely no respect for the Humanities and decide that lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top, all while scamming and being incredibly shitty towards a community that has long suffered and is STILL suffering greatly to this day, is better than any kind of academic honesty. I understand that Somerton is just "some youtube fraud" to some people, but the problem lies more in what Somerton's actions and motivations represent. I really think hbomberguy's video on plagiarism is going to do a lot of good. It's going to help a lot of people avoid doing it as well as help people become more aware of what it really looks like and all the damage it can do.
Thank you for your time.
P.S. It doesn't really need to be said at this point, but make sure you support the queer voices and writers that did the work Somerton thought was good enough to just copy and paste into a video. They're the ones that suffered the most through all of this and my heart goes out to them, from one writer to another. <3
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how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?
for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad
i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?
here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers
step 1 - posting
so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.
you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.
another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.
step 2 - be positive
this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.
if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.
when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?
step 3 - have fun
genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.
you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.
and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers
step 4 - interaction
im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.
i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.
i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.
step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now
i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.
also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".
also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.
TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.
alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3
#🥀📜#sorry that was so long#ill tag these with selfship tags incase anyone else was wondering#lachlan talks#lachlan rambles#self shipping#self ship#self shipper#selfshipper#selfship#selfshipping#f/o#f/o community#fictoromantic
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I love your palia oc Sol! and I LOVEEE the artwork you did of them in palia's artstyle! really looks like official art, if you ever had commissions opened I'd love to see my character in your art (obviously not pushing if you don't do comms or anything!)
just wanted to say I love the artwork and wanted to ask if you had any headcanons/lore for your character? I don't know if I do for mine, but I love peoples creativity and when they can give a story to their oc's/game characters ^-^
omg, thank you so much!! It's made me so happy how positively people have reacted to my attempt at the palia artstyle, this community has been so welcoming and supportive of the art I've made and i genuinely love it so much. I actually made a commission sheet for palia style pieces a while back, so I may post it here on tumblr some time soon! I've actually recently updated that art, since it was the first art I ever drew of them before having a concrete design idea for them:
As for the second part, I've actually put quite a lot of thought into their character, so heres some info about them under a read more :D (also for anyone interested in character plots, the plot I have uploaded to the tour board as Sol Reagem is my original plot, but it also doubles as what Sol's actual home looks like!)
- when they first emerged they were very curious to learn as much as they could about the world around them, and spent a lot of their time talking with Ashura and Chayne asking questions, and just talking and befriending villagers in general. They also spent probably an equal amount of time exploring the world around them (and almost immediately discovering some of the not so legal goings on of the underground). As they start to get a better grasp and establish themself more in the village, they still end up spending most of their time socializing when they can (and more often than not they're either hanging around the Inn or at Jel's shop!) - their main skills are in foraging and cooking, which is quite fitting that two of the people they become closest to are Ashura and Reth. They sell a lot of forage and wood as their primary income, but they really enjoy making extra food to be able to share with company. They also have a tendency to chopping wood to help clear their mind, (if youve seen the tumblr post you know LOL) - they have absolutely no memory of pre void, and never will gain it back. Those memories are permanently lost to time, and its something they're glad for - for the most part. Sometimes at first they do struggle with not having any memories or life experiences outside of Kilima and Bahari, but with time they find family and new memories in the people there :) they consider Ashura a father figure, and ask him to be their Shepp when the time comes for it. - they actually have a little runt palcat named Leaf! She's smaller than usual palcats (and her ears are pretty large looking because of it!) and she LOVES to hunt bugs. I jokingly call her the Village emotional support palcat, since Sol will bring her into town pretty frequently, and often leaves her with someone if they need a little cheering up or comfort.
Thank you for being interested in them :D!! i love when people ask, it makes me so happy to share bc i always put so much thought into my characters
#gray talks#rainbow-randomness#grayscalee arts#grays ocs#palia#palia character#palia human#sol is actually so important to me#i love them dearly (trembling like a dog)#i actually also have a fair ammount of aus with them too - mostly in the world of palia but i have just one or two with a friend that arent
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ok art’s not working rn but I still wanna share ghostsoap in my zombie au here too after seeing a bunch of the cod zombies stuff on twitter (I’m very autistic about zombie and since tumblr doesn’t really have a limit y’all will get more info. depression works hard, but autism works harder /j)
anyway tags for any of y’all who don’t vibe with this type of content
CW: zombies, so cannibalism, body horror (mutation based zombies they’re not the rotting kind), gore mentions, a little bit of death (not proper mcd)
(Will update if I’ve missed a tag)
AU CONTEXT:
SO the timeline is set far into the future of the zombie apocalypse where anything zombie related is very normal and apart of everyday life with relics and stories to the old word. Humanity is kinda thriving, there’s technology, medicine, secure food sources, water, functional cities & towns, overall the quality of life is pretty good, it’s a lil sci-fiy but not overly so.
The specific zombie strain to is a mutation based one, so there’s different zombie types and it affects all living things; herbivores are the only type of infected that’s non-aggressive unless provoked, while all carnivorous/predatory animals and certain omnivores are always hostile. Regardless of aggression, the disease can be easily transmitted via blood, bites, scratches, ingestion of contaminated products, and saliva depending on the zombie type. (fun fact—zombie cows are a thing and are used to deter attacks on living/healthy livestock)
GHOAP TIME
Anyway, world building context done (for now), Ghost & Soap are partners in “community security”, meaning they are to deal with threats to the livelihood/safety of people. They mostly work with towns since towns have less means to protect themselves—cities have fences and walls which are patrolled whereas towns outside a city might only have a simple fence and a couple zombie cows—from the hordes, raiders or particularly bothersome zombie types, while occasionally doing specialised work in the cities.
Ghost is blight, a humanoid zombie that has retained their human consciousness despite turning, while Soap is a delayed, a immune human who’s blood can used to suppress the affects of infection for via regular prescribed shots. Both are incredibly rare btw, (for both human and zombie) and are literally an ideal working pair because blight’s are highly infectious to the point where their drool is a safety hazard (one of the reasons they’re muzzled), but since Soap’s immune there’s no risk. Blight’s are also susceptible to unexpectedly going feral which Soap prevents by keeping Ghost in touch with his humanity; literally Soap’s lack of fear of Ghost is what helps them be a perfect working pair (that and Ghost genuinely enjoying Soap’s company).
So yeah, they patrol for raiders and redirect any wandering corpses frequently, with the occasionally job from some regular folk that’s too dangerous to do themselves—just all things that genuinely help people keep and feel safe.
Unfortunately for Soap, when dealing with zombies he can’t hide or mask himself as easy a regular person, a problem Ghost, unless displaying aggression, doesn’t have on account of being an actual zombie. Soap does abuse his immunity though, throwing himself in front of others to act as a meat shield and protect them from infection. Cause of that though his body is littered in scars of bite and scratch marks (zombies that harm Soap usually don’t exist for much longer if Ghost’s around)
As a blight, Ghost’s mutated state is centred around his human base but has elements of other zombie types; from pale and dark veiny skin, his jaw and throat are split into mandibles which Ghost needs a custom compression mask to be able talk, his arms have exposed boney spines/blades that are both retractable and can be used as projectiles (throwing knife equivalent), his nails are basically claws + are also somewhat retractable, and over certain parts of Ghost’s body are have bone plating as armour. It’s unclear the exact limit of Ghost’s capabilities as it’s near impossible to test him as he hates doctors/labs, (the reason he’ll consistently stepping into a lab for is for a blood transfusion/feed).
[^^^may be updated as I think more about this au]
Little Ghoap moment, but Soap will help Ghost in his upkeep of himself by either filing down Ghost’s claws or brushing the rows and rows of sharp teeth for any bits of stuck flesh and to keep an excess buildup of bacteria from forming. It’s literally something only Soap can do, both cause he’s immune and because Ghost only feels comfortable letting Soap help. It’s not an process that should take very long, but Soap is meticulously and after holding Ghost’s mandibles awkwardly extended for some time, he’ll gently massage the muscles; despite the horror it’s actually a pretty sweet gesture. When they’re off duty Soap’ll unlock Ghost’s muzzle and massage his face after being compressed for a couple days too (Soap’s one of the few people with the authority to unlock Ghost’s muzzle)
and uh yeah. I think that the end of that for now, hope it’s enjoyable. I’m combing my current hyperfixation with an idea/project I’ve been working on for years and is quite dear to me so there’s a lot of information to share lmao. feel free to ask any questions if there are any, preferably via the asks but comments are fine too (just I can tag asks together)
#ghostsoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#soap mactavish#ghost x soap#cod mw22#zombie#zombie au#zombie apocolypse au#body horror#implied cannibalism#implied mcd#gore mention#ghoap
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i havent seen the inside of your ask box for ages so let me just say i finished money magic and WOAH. leave some talent for the rest of us damn. also. im going to add ‘financial domination’ to my mental list of kinks and im doing it with a sly smirk on my face because id never heard of it before this fic and i certainly will be looking for more in the future.
i genuinely think im into it only because you write it so. fucking. well. i love this community youve built where so many people can discover new kinks through your writing and it makes me so happy being able to find out new things about myself from a piece of art like this. i just love fandom sometimes.
plus i think of your blog as a haven bc i can come here anytime i want and its like someone took all the things i love about fandom and put it through your brain then onto here. a true blessing.
ok onto the fic itself, i have a few things to say:
1) i will never get over the way you build up to the climax of the fic. like, from the beginning, its always so obvious that something big is going to happen and i just can never wait until the next update to find out. i dont think ive ever skim read one of your paragraphs because every word pulls me in a makes me want moreee.
2) the way you use imagery in your work is actually something i think should be studied because you do it SO WELL. an example from chapter one that i cant stop thinking about;
His mind whirls. He’s back to spinning out of control. It feels as though his head might come off his shoulders, twisted and twisted and twisted around, thinning his neck, and becoming too unsteady.
like hello???? i can picture every tiny little detail of this moment and its insane how you can just do that.
3) the chemistry between your characters never feels forced or awkward. ive noticed that you dont use dialogue too much when writing smut and i love that because it lets the reader really visualise whats going on. but when you do its absolutely perfect. the way you kept the power dynamics going steadily throughout and even when they were talking on the balcony, it just made me realise how much you really care about what you write and it made reading so much more enjoyable.
theres literally like a million other things i could say but im not gna ramble here. instead, take some snippets that i especially enjoyed that i will think about for a long, long time:
A shiver wracks Steve’s body, accompanied by a rough exhale that fills his bedroom—a confession of how much he’s enjoying this by its very nature.
-
Steve shivers so hard it might as well be a convulsion. Good. The way his words leave no room for argument, for thought, for anything but all this electric embarrassment to fill his veins and circulate throughout his body, polluting him tip to tail. Jesus. He commands all of Steve without being there. It’s heady. He can feel himself being pulled in like a sailor, lonely after months at sea, to a siren.
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A moan comes tumbling out of his mouth, humiliated to the point that he feels dizzy. He couldn’t stand and walk straight if he tried, he’d stumble and fall onto his knees. He wants to stumble and fall and have Bucky push his heavy hands into his hair, he wants to feel the cold metal of his rings and the blunt sharpness of his fingernails against his scalp as he grabs and pulls and twists, making sure Steve feels his place.
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Steve imagines this is what being a pinata feels like, struck hard enough that it's twirling around its point of suspension, unable to know what’s up or down, left or right, just focused on each hit and when the next one is going to come, then, ah!, all of the sudden spilling its bounty.
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i could put the whole fic here but you know. that’d be too long. ill just have to hope what ive said here is enough.
bottom line is that im OBSESSED and i will be taking the pleasure of rereading this fic as soon as i can. thank you so much for sharing!!! lots of love 💗
"Money Magic"
YOU ARE SO SWEET, ARCHIE!
Thank you, lovely <3
I'm so glad to hear that you finished that fic, and, more importantly, that you enjoyed the read so much! You're too kind. Haha, I'm hitting you again with the kink discovery. I think if I can't find a job (a scarily real threat, lmao), I can make a job of that alone 💀💀 I, too, though, am going to be looking for more of it! I haven't found anything else with fin domming in stucky fics, but I would love to!
I'm honored that it's even a possibility that you'd just be into it because of the way I write it <3 Me too!! I love the absolute filth I can write and people not batting an eye, aside from horny reactions that I enjoy very much. Thank you. Plus, even better, so many people have come into my inbox to say depraved, kinky shit. Like. YES. Discover more kinks from me, tell me more about your kinks, and let's explore it all. Not you calling my porn writing art
(Like, absolutely, porn is art. Art inspires emotion, and horny is a valid emotion. I wholeheartedly believe that and would very readily call lots of other writers erotica art, but hearing that about my own? Wtf. Shits wild)
And calling my blog a haven?! Staaawp. You're too cute and nice, I can't take it
1) Ah! I'm so glad to hear that 'cause I plan out my fics EXTENSIVELY, lmao, and I try very hard to up myself consistently within my longer, chaptered fics.
2) You are so fucking sweet I am gonna scream. Oh my god!! I love how you pulled quotes from my text! What the hell??? That's so nice!
3) Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I feel like I use a lot of dialog 💀💀 That's probably because I think so hard about my dialog, though, lol. I do care, definitely. I care too much sometimes 😅 but, yeah, I try to always think, okay, but would the character actually ever say or behave like that? Both this AU character, but also the canon character because the AU is, of course, a canon extension/expansion.
Aww, I don't have words (which is saying something for me, haha)! Again, though, I love, love, love that you included snippets that stuck out to you!
YOU'RE SO SWEET!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND THANK YOU FOR SUCH WONDERFUL COMMENTS ALONG THE WAY!
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Hey, I’m the anon that asked you about studying arts. I am a student myself and I understand how busy it can get. Personally, I enjoy creating arts, but my procrastination and perfectionism sort of gets in the way. I draw something, and if it doesn’t turn out ‘how I want it to. ’perfect’, I give up. Then, I just try to drawing again, and it just becomes a vicious cycle.
As for my studies, instead of picking arts, or music, or literature, I chose, history, additional maths, science (physics, chemistry and biology) and computer science for my GCSEs. I feel like dying…
Anyways, apologies for my rant. This has nothing to do with Roguefort, but I just want to talk to someone. I have very little friends in real life.
you should drop me a message! if you don’t want to over here on a shared blog, you can send me a dm on my art account @gostgoesboo . I love new friends, especially artist ones 😎
as for the ask, no one’s college journey is a straight line unless they’re crazy coordinated (and probably neurotypical). no shade to them because they’re genuinely great but that definitely doesn’t work for most ppl.
I actually STARTED college doing computer science for my major, because I didn’t think my art was good enough to stand on its own. but, I was lucky enough to have a professor for one of my GE art classes that told me I should pursue my art as a career. it was at a time when I had just failed all my computer science classes the previous semester (mostly due to things out of my control but it still hurt), and so getting that motivation and new direction was super important.
I also joined the tabletop club on campus and made a new group of friends by being DM for them. I really recommend utilizing the campus community- it can be super super scary at first but it really pays off. the bureaucrats on college campuses can be a pain, but the professors and students (usually) are all there to help you succeed.
to the followers: sorry for very long, non-roguefort post, but this felt important to answer.
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If We Were Villains: a book review
Or, the power of environmental storytelling, amazing characterization, theatrics and what it does to a STEM student with a passion for the arts
A/N: This is my first time writing a book review, and I decided to make up a little formula for myself to follow for the rest of my reviews. Truthfully, IWWV is not my first book, but it has defintiely inspired me enough to write something for it that isn’t fanfiction so here it is. Feel free to share your thoughts and bring up discussions, as this book is dear to me in many ways and it deserves to be talked about. Do note all of this is my opinion and that is all it will ever be. Hope you enjoy this review/semi-analysis of IWWV that I am less than qualified to talk about, but that is the beauty of self-expression. Please be warned of spoilers which will be marked as to where they Start.
How I was Introduced to the Book
I first learned of the book through booktok. And I know the implications of that statement and the reputation of booktok in the bookish community. I, myself, don’t think too highly of booktok (as it is where all the colleen hoover fans worm about), but I have to admit that it is, by far, one of the best avenues to discover authors and books, no matter the romanticization of reading as a hobby or the misinterpretation of these books. Truthfully, without booktok, I would not have asked my friend to buy me a copy of If We Were Villains for my birthday and I wouldn’t be enamoured by its narrations and characters as I am right now. There was a specific tiktoker that I followed for the fact that they have read a lot of dark academia books – which is a genre that I’m getting into right now! If We Were Villains was introduced to me as a really great book with a lot of twists and turns, and I went into it with that expectation.
The Book Itself in My Own Words
Imagine that one picture that comes up whenever you search “dark academia aesthetic” on pinterest. There is a manor at the far end of the photo, distant and castle-like. Vines and greenery cling to it as if it were the old cobblestone shrine of a forest God and its windows are hauntingly grey with dust as if it were lived in by no one except ghosts. You are only outside looking in, and there is no scene you can manage from the manor. What you can observe, however is a lake. It reflects the greyish bluish white sky above it and it does not move against the life, the nature that surrounds it. It is ever present and everlastingly still; ultimately very boring to the people who spare it a glance, but go beyond depths you and I can comprehend or imagine. Think of that image, but in book form. Oh and add several other complicated things in it too, just for flavor.
If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio is a hauntingly, tragic mystery about 7 friends who made the mistake of being gay theatre kids. It’s the found family trope in reverse as you watch as their life fall apart in the incident of a murder that no one is really sure who did. We follow Oliver Marks, essentially the main character and the narrator of the story as he describes what his life is like and how it’s about to be ruined because some guy was too petty to accept that he isn’t always the star of the show. Watch the 6 of them go through the motion, pretending everything is fine and that they’re all not mentally ill in some way while quoting shakespeare that no normal person does.
As sarcastic as I sound, it is genuinely a wonderful, captivating story about grief, friendship and art. Everything is so complicated (in a good way) and you’re not really sure what to feel about all of it, but at the same time, you stay for the ride because the feelings are worth it, just to see this show to the end just so these characters can reach their epilogue finally. The way I would describe it is imagine all those reading assignments and book reports you had to do in your english class about a sonnet or play, then mix it with all the gay fanfiction one would read in the witching hours of 3 am as you sob quietly to yourself because you know your ship will never be canon. It is a culmination of these two things, and it’s awesome.
First Impressions/Last Impressions
I struggled with getting through Act I of IWWV. And I do genuinely believe that this was not at all the fault of the author or the story as the set up was interesting and mysterious and curious enough for me to get hooked. It just so happened that the fish was uninterested and busy with other things that I did not get into immediately as I would have hoped. Despite this – and after several months of not reading – I managed to pick up the book again and return to where I left off.
Perhaps it was the fact that there was a large gap of me not reading IWWV and then the sudden bolt of me reading it religious explains why I found the first parts of IWWV quite slow. I do recognize this as a part of the set up and exposition of the book and was entirely necessary for the emotional impact that it would give me by the end, but prowling through those first few chapters was hard as someone with a short attention span and have several hobbies aside from reading and writing.
But now, after almost a year of trying to finish this book properly, I have to say that I am wrecked and I will never be the same again. I thought I was going to hate the endng, truthfully, as its implications was bleak and somehow, undermines the efforts of its characters. But, the epilogue had me pleasantly surprised and relieved, that I would have to say that the ending was exactly my cup of tea. I’m still not sure on where I stand with happy endings or tragic endings, but I do in fact love open endings – endings left to interpretation, the kinds that will make you tear your hair out because where is the rest of it? Why is the book just- done? And here is where fanfiction comes to play, my friend.
The journey has been a journey, and I definitely have to say that I have learned a lot from this book and that it was easy to fall in love with the book despite the rough beginning.
//SPOILERS START HERE//
How I fell in Love with It
The atmosphere IWWV gave me which was extremely immersive and can only be described as delightfully haunting. It is peak gray – and gay – atmosphere that I really enjoyed as it felt like the right amount of theatrics to not be too dramatic and satirical. Something also surprising is the fact that it is oddly humorous despite being a book about murder, shakespeare and what makes a tragedy. Actually, considering it is inspired by shakespeare, the humorous aspect is not so surprising if you take into account some shakespeare being pretty absurd as it is. The unironic things these characters do like randomly quote shakespeare out of nowhere is so pretentiously funny, but also contributes well to what the book is going for.
As unnatural as that would be for like a normal person, because Oliver and his friends are so deep into the shakespeare of their classes, they make it feel natural and you get used to that as the story progresses. Oliver had a really good justification for this which he explains to Colbourne in a way that I truly resonate with. This book, as well as the characters, are so in love with Shakespeare’s words that it’s hard to not find yourself enamoured by it to. I love the way they describe taking art like this as I feel, as an artist and creative, that this is an artist’s ulttimate purpose. To capture the things that cannot be said properly through ordinary words, and to encapsulate those moments of heightened emotion and feeling. Any piece of art is an attempt to reanimate emotion, and we use art to deliver those emotions that we, ourselves, cannot fully comprehend.
This is what I love about this book, aside from its brilliant storytelling and interesting and raw characters. It feels like it was made with the intention of appreciation for art, and I really respect that as art means so much to me. This book is art and it is about art as much as it is about this specific friend group dealing with whatever just happened, and I really really love and appreciate that about this book.
Strong Points/What I learned from It as a Writer
IWWV is genuinely a master class in environmental storytelling. The Castle, where everyone stays at during their time in Dellecher is the most effective use of environment I’ve seen in a book (which I’m sure there’s more, I just haven’t read it yet in which I will at some point). The way the castle has a place for everyone, and the scene wherein Oliver is seen cleaning the different rooms of the Castle goes to show the amount of detail the author puts into each little cranny of their descriptions of the Castle. One specific detail I remember was in Richard’s room where a chess board was described with one horseman toppled over and another missing. I may be tweaking, but that might just imply something about story. Aside from the environments, IWWV also makes good use of its inspiration material which is shakespeare.
I definitely should have gone into IWWV with some knowledge of shakespeare and I would encourage anyone who wish to read IWWV to read at least one shakespear book, because I didnt and I am incredible lost on how IWWV uses those narratives of Shakespeare’s plays to reference its own tragedy and characters and I am extremely upset that I didn’t get to experience that other narrative of the what the play were trying to tell the reader. But of course, you don’t have to have a background in theatre or shakespeare to read IWWV. It would extremely as they constantly quote shakespeare and if you don’t know what those quotes mean, you will get lost at some point, but you can manage through it (as I said, the book does well with these quotes that it starts feeling natural enough that you, too, would start to make sense of these quotes even if you would struggle at first). But, from what I have heard from people who have read the book and Shakespeare, the plays do reference and foreshadow the story within IWWV.
The play Ceasar directly reference how Richard is going to die and who’s going to kill him. Like Richard is the modern Julias Ceasar, he is someone who has caused tyranny in their group of friends and provoked James to hit him on the head which led to his friends eventually leaving him for dead. I still struggle sometimes with that betrayal because in truth, Richard was their friend for 3 years and then they’re just gonna throw him away like that? I think it’s just how I view friendship, but to be fair I don’t like Richard enough to be angry that he died. And that’s a good way of utilizing source material! Because who killed Ceasar if not his most intimate of friends.
This is kind of like Chekhov’s gun in a way except we’re talking about multiple guns and you’re in a gun shop and the fact that the guns are constantly being fired. Everytime the environment is being described, it doesn’t get boring or go into super great detail. I’m always seated for those descriptions of the environment because at some point one very specific detail will mean something to the story more than you expect it would. Otherwise, it contributes to the atmosphere and helps you feel incredibly immersive. I think much of what I read are heavily character-driven (which isn’t a bad thing!) and IWWV is also heavily character-driven in terms of plot, but it uses its environment well. Like it exists and isn’t just an extension of the actors themselves, but it doesn’t just exist as a setting, it exists as a plot device. A carefully crafted set for a performance. IWWV was a wonderful case study for me to be able to spot those little details in the environment and try my hand in interpreting what they mean, like a detective looking for clues – which is very fitting!
Characters and characterization was also very good in IWWV. Every character was equally flawed and all of their actions warrant a “What the actual fuck?” from me. The amazing thing about IWWV is that despite its title, none of these characters are bad people, just very flawed with poor decision-making skills. Even Richard, I would argue, is still a gray character despite being an asshole! It was entirely his fault for becoming needlessly petty and aggressive towards his friends, but I don’t really think that undermines their 3 years of friendship together. I genuinely believe that Richard was just a guy with a big ego that was too fragile for his own good and he did really dumb and shitty stuff about that. He isn’t your 2D Villain, because his actions were triggered by the event of something – being casted as someone that wasn’t the main focus of the play. And his friends and the reader have in their every right to be angry at Richard for the shit he’s done, but you have to admit he wasn’t always like that. He changed and that is the most admirable thing about the character writing in IWWV.
Everyone is very dynamic, but not too drastic for it to be jarring. They fit well together despite having contrasting personalities and all of them have something going on in terms of their personal life. It’s a shame we don’t exactly see ther perspectives as we are limited to Oliver’s narration, but we do get glimpses of it and I believe that is enough for the characters to feel real. My favorite character, Filippa, is the most mysterious one from the group in terms of backstory, but I know enough that she is willing to do everything – even hide a murder – just to protect her friends, her family, probably because she doesn’t have one of her own in more ways than one. And I got that from a single line that she said to Oliver when he asked why she hid the fact James did it.
“You all were the only family I had. I’d have killed Richard myself if I thought it would keep the rest of you safe. [...] I was terrified you’d do exactly what you did.”
Each main character of IWWV have their own tragedy to their character which is rooted upon the “type” of character they are in the beginning of the story. They all both defy and fit perfectly in their own roles in the narrative and that is their tragedy. Oliver is the sidekick who became the center of attention by his arrest, James is a hero who murdered a friend, Richard is a dead tyrant, Meredith is a temptress who wishes she was seen as anything but, Wren is the broken and frankly, no longer as innocent as she ought to be ingenue, and Alexander is the villain with good intentions. Filippa is the curious case as she does not have set role, this does not excuse her from being tragic, but it does makes sense how she is the only able to stay relatively stable throughout the story. In the very beginning we were already told of what tragedy these characters would have and it is all connected to their role in a stereotypical narrative, how they are type-casted in their plays.
I would go into each of the characters and their own personal tragedies and flaws, but that would be really long, so I won’t. But these characters and the play on the type-casting of these actors are perfectly executed. I would like to cite James’ arc for this as he is described as being the hero, but slowly, as we see how he and everyone else copes with Richard’s death and how he gets casted into the villain role, we saw how this changes him and how his archetype of being the hero slowly crumbles to make way for a darker James filled with immense amount of guilt that only perpetuates with Oliver’s arrest. We see how it breaks him as his hero persona is no longer his. He takes up the role of the villain, and that kills him because he was never meant to play that role. Everything about him screams hero and I think he himself believed that, so his sense of self crumbles away as it is slowly revealed that he is in fact, the villain of this story. And yet, what makes him the villain is still technically a heroic act. He killed a tyrant after all. And that is just hella clever.
IWWV almost reads as really complicated fairytale if you think of it as these characters as the archetypes of their roles. It is definitely the most fascinating and creative way of character writing I’ve ever seen and that is a feat on its own. It follows a formula, yet it defies the routinely-ness of that, the audience can understand what’s going on like in the middle of the book and I think that serves well in this scenario because now, it’s only a matter of dread and waiting for the final act to commence. I never felt like I was reading an intermission in any parts of it as everything, both character and environment, serve the plot really well.
Criticisms/Pet Peeves
But of course, despite all my praise, this book is not free of the criticisms and I did feel frustration for some parts of it whether it was good or bad frustration. It’s not a perfect book and I have a few gripes with it.
The way it treats Meredith and Wren specifically is appalling. It, sadly, goes into that really bad trope in some queer books of the women getting in the way of the men hooking up. I really feel bad for these women because, even if they still have their own things going on and they are able to be their own characters, they somehow become extensions of the men that they are involved with, and everytime, it is extremely unfair.
I’ll just say it, Oliver is just using Meredith to forget about James. I don’t doubt he loves her or doesn’t think of her as attractive because he does, but there is an aspect to their relationship that they both don’t deny is really connected to Oliver’s and James’ relationship. This is a flaw of Oliver’s character that I don’t like because it’s so unfair for Meredith and the way they started their relationship is also kind of dubious? I mean, Meredith went for Oliver not only because he was “nice”, she also went for him because he was the only one available and the complete opposite of Richard. Meredith had no interest in Oliver in the first few scenes of this book and Oliver also didn’t really think of her much because she was already with Richard, but he couldn’t deny she was pretty. I just don’t like the implications of their relationship to Meredith’s character and her struggle with objectification and her constantly being sexualized by the men around her. I know Oliver wouldn’t do that, but at the end of the day, isn’t he just using her?
I desperately want to believe in their love and I do! But it gets so bad when you mix in James because suddenly, Meredith no longer exist to Oliver. He literally went to jail for the guy, of course, his love for James isn’t equal in any way to his love for Meredith. I also just don’t agree with how the ending has Oliver and Meredith together only for Oliver to essentially leave Meredith because he finds out that James might still be alive. He admits that he was still in love with James! I understand that polyamorous relationships are a thing, but clearly Oliver has shown to be neglecting of Meredith whenever James comes to his peripheral vision! I just think that, maybe, Meredith deserves better than how Oliver is treating her.
And god, don’t get me started on James and Wren. They, frankly, came out of nowhere! I think its because we are limited to Oliver’s perspective so we don’t see how their relationship developed and how their dynamic would go. I do see that James cares much for Wren and vice-versa and that they could totally work, but god, when you mix Oliver into it, Wren just doesn’t exist. I am extremely upset about the part where James gets incredibly drunk and then drags Wren to sleep with him for the same reasons Oliver sleeps with Meredith! And I hate it.
It’s very messy, and very well-written and very in-character, but god the implications. The way these women are being treated in the relationship drama is just to serve the men’s own relationship and how they totally belong to each other, but somehow they’re not together and they have to stay with the women and it’s really messy and Oliver is a disaster bisexual. Maybe I just don’t like love triangles or love squares, but this is just a prime example why you shouldn’t date someone in the same friend group. It’s messy and sometimes, I debate with myself if it was necessary. Either way, it happened and I can’t do anything about that.
Overall Thoughts/Scoring
I have a lot of thoughts about IWWV and the book itself has a lot of themes and messages that really struck me. One thing that I really liked about IWWV as an aroace-spectrum person is the friend group’s relationship because despite all the tragedy around them, they manage to be really wholesome and there examples there of platonic intimacy that I don’t usually get to see in books. I love how Oliver and Filippa are essentially like siblings with how they are always there for each other and Filippa is always looking out for him and their other friends. I love the brotherly relationship between Oliver and Alexander. And despite my gripes, there are moments in Oliver’s and Meredith’s relationship that remind me that they were friends first and lovers second, and I really appreciate that.
I didn’t mention Oliver’s and James’ relationship as much because I’m pretty sure that’s what you would expect for me to say. It’s a good relationship, I like it since I’ve always been a fan of that kind of dynamic where they transcend the meaning of best friends, they’re gay essentially, but they are also each other’s person and their intimacy is beyond physical. I’m just describing sexual/romantic tension here but everytime they are in screen together, you just know that they are looking at each other with so much emotion. And of course, what Oliver did for James was incredibly stupid, but also just states what James is to Oliver. And it’s really codependent, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a kind of love that makes you feel thing.
I also would like to comment on how it tackles grief and guilt as those are major themes in the story. I appreciate how despite being dead, Richard is still ever-present in Oliver’s mind and everyone else’s that no one even bothers to go to his room aside from Oliver who just has to because he has to clean it. Guilt haunts everyone in If We Were Villains and I feel for that, especially when it comes to grief. It captures perfectly what mourning for someone who did some really bad stuff to you is like with the added guilt that you somehow contributed to his death. And it’s cruel how these people just have to deal with that major change; nothing is ever the same when someone dies and we can’t do anything about it. The show must go on, unfortunately. And that’s what happens to these characters, on or off the stage, life will continue with or without them and they have to go with out, otherwise they might end up drowning in their own misery. I think that is much the moral we can find in IWW, if it even has one.
//SPOILERS END HERE//
My scoring would be an 8/10. It’s really good and I recommend it to anyone who’s a fan of shakespeare or really into dark academia. I wouldn’t say it would be the best introduction book for this genre, but it got me into it so maybe it could work for you too!
#if we were villains#iwwv#if we were villains spoilers#booklr#bookish#book review#book recommendation#iwwv spoilers#this was 7 pages in my gdocs#writer things
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Fic tag game! Tagged by the lovely @sweeteatercat , thank you!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 4
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 229,987
3. What fandoms do you write for? DBH
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I don't even have 5 fics 😅 but here they are in order: 1. he's making a list; i'm checking him out 2. long way home 3. stupid sexy priest 4. make my wish come true
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! I haven't responded to comments on my latest chapter yet, but I will. It's really important to me: 1) If someone takes the time to read my work AND share their thoughts with me, that really does mean so much, saying thank you (and clumsily attempting to express the depth of my gratitude in an annoying amount of emojis) is the least I can do; and 2) This is a community! The validation is nice, yes, but I write to connect with people. I love hearing what people have to say and I love to talk with them about it! I've made friends through my ao3 comments, we're all here because we love the same thing, and if you're excited about my silly contributions OF COURSE I'm gonna want to talk to you! Your reactions to the work are just as important as the work itself imo. Art is a conversation!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably make my wish come true, just because it's an alternate POV of a scene in a different fic so the main conflict remains unresolved. But it still has a feel-good ending! Sad endings don't exist in my world
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm not sure! What do you guys think? Generally in my fics I try to wrap everything up in a happy little bow without everything being too perfect--we still have to work, we still make mistakes, life is still hell; but it's easier when we have each other and have found faith in ourselves.
8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't yet...... (bracing myself for my first hate comment to come through as soon as I publish this post)
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? Sure do! I write the over-the-top, too long, lots of emotion, lots of laughing/banter, taking-off-your-pants-is-awkward kind. Sex is cool but friendship is the most romantic thing to me ❤️ I enjoy writing smut the most when they really, genuinely like each other as people.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I have not and I doubt I would. Probably the closest I would get is an au based on another piece of media (I do dream of a hankcon twin peaks au)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have never even considered that being a thing until now
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone requested to translate one of my fics but I don't know if it will ever come to fruition. I hope it does though, I would love that!
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No but I've briefly discussed it with a friend... now that I'm done with the bb I'll need to contact them and see if they're still interested because I sure am 👀👀
14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Hankconnnnnnnnnn
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I started a fic where Connor works in a sex shop and a very vanilla Hank comes in looking for something to spice things up with his girlfriend. He gets some fuzzy handcuffs and they do their job when it comes to Hank's boner, unfortunately that has more to do with Hank fantasizing about the person who sold them to him more than anything else. He breaks up with the girlfriend and most of the fic would be Hank continuing to frequent the sex shop as an excuse to talk to Connor as he gets more and more in over his head thanks to Connor's recommendations. It was really good in my head, but when I put it to paper it just... wasn't. So I'll probably never continue it.
16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization, I think! I get a lot of compliments on it. It's the best feeling when someone falls in love with one of my characters ❤️
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Setting 😖 I like to pepper in details as I go, I really struggle when the scene calls for describing the whole-ass place at once
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If y'all want a fic about the Duolingo characters, sure. Otherwise I'm sure I'd be abysmal at it. I'm not proficient enough in any other language to get the voice right.
19. First fandom you wrote for? DBH. I am a fic-writing newbie and also I tend to stick with one thing for 4,000 years
20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Probably long way home, it's not as popular as mall santa but there's so much of my soul in that fic. Artistically and thematically, it's very me, and it's also the story that taught me how to write. I had never written any work of fiction before I started it (Hankcon was just that strong) and now I never want to do anything else. Thank you for reading, if you want to play consider yourself tagged! 💖
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I received Dancing The Dream in the mail today and I’m halfway through reading it… man, I feel so privileged to be reading his thoughts and poetries like this. I remember only knowing about his biography book Moonwalk but they rarely mention Dancing The Dream. I wonder why? It was published the year I was born so it feels like a little gift😌
I love his thoughts on spirituality and magic. I wish we could’ve learned more from him on his thoughts on numerology and astrology as well (two of my favorite subjects). Like, why hasn’t anyone interviewed him about stuff like this? Or am I not looking hard enough🤔 He was very particular about symbology and (deeper) meanings in his art but he also applied it to himself for personal development and you only catch a glimpse of that here and there in books/interviews/his writings but then the focus goes right back to “who are you sleeping with?” or “how do you write a song?” Mind you, I’m satisfied with the answer he gave on the latter (and the former lol 🤪 I don’t need to know his business like that haha). I just find it strange how people constantly wanted him to say more. It wasn’t enough. Like, the man said it came from God, (his) children being his muses, magic, wonder etc. NEXT QUESTION! Gosh! Can we ask some deep thought provoking questions instead? I mean no one bothered to ask WHY he felt it came from them. They just wanted something more tangible or something they could “sell”. I guess you can’t really sell God and spirituality when the artist in question had ‘secular’ music and grabbed his crotch lmao. But the press/people wanted “secular” answers but put some respect on my man’s name and LET IT GO as he did when he talked about his formula for writing songs.
Yes, I know he was very religious growing up but in Shmuley’s book Michael revealed he always questioned the church, religion in general… and he was just a very deep spiritual person from the jump, adopting (spiritual) teachings and using his own inner knowing to create a spiritually rich life (especially after having left Jehovah’s Witness church much against his wishes as he truly enjoyed connecting with and to a higher power—in community with others as the church fostered fellowship in a time where it was hard(er) to make friends and have genuine relationships of any kind). So, I feel we can’t use the “excuse” of him being Jehovah’s Witness when he wasn’t anymore for a very long time and considered himself to be more spiritual. I feel he would’ve been more open to talking about astrology etc. regardless if he read up on it or practiced it (astrology isn’t something you believe in… it’s more of a tool/language. I giggle when people say they don’t believe in it—which is fine btw but it’s not really a belief system but I digress…). He was a great conversationalist so I know he’d have some interesting thoughts to share. Who knows… more and more people are speaking out because of the biopic coming out next year. Maybe we’ll hear something in regards to that😊
I’ve looked into his natal, numerology and human design chart and it’s really fascinating. I truly feel I learn something new about him every time. In a way it feels like little Easter eggs😋 left behind for me (and others) because I’m passionate about personal development, human psyche, spirituality (and woo-woo) stuff too. There’s a reason for my blog name it has to do with numerology and his usage of the numbers 777 in his art/clothing. I’ll make another post about it with more detail soon.
Hugs and Heehees💫
#mjfam#michael jackson#mjforever#moonwalk#moonwalker#mjj#dancing the dream#mjjinnocent#mjinnocent#Michael Jackson poetry#Michael Jackson astrology#spirituality#astro observations#celebrity astrology#numerology#Michael Jackson numerology
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hi meda!
i’m back with another “gentle reminders” ask. it goes in line with one of my personal goals this year of trying to work on my kindness and how i show that kindness to others.
the beginning of a new year is always a bit tough for many people, for many reasons but at the scale of the fandom, i have noticed some negativity starting to spread. maybe it’s bound to happen on any social media but i always considered tumblr to be different, to be over the kind of discourse you could find on other apps. this place has been a true haven for many of us and i would like to keep it that way, so i thought, as a way to counterbalance this negativity, i could compensate with a nice message for one of the driving forces in the fandom: our dear writers.
i would like to begin by saying thank you. thank you for dedicating your time, your energy, your love and sharing pieces of yourself with us. the fandom wouldn’t be what it is without you: just like a body needs a brain or a heart to function properly, fandoms need writers like they need others contributing. thank you for offering diversity, engaging with different tropes and characters to reach as many readers as possible. i will admit, some things proposed are not my cup of tea but i know they can be enjoyed by others, the same way some of my favorite fics wouldn’t necessarily attract others. so thank you for giving a chance to everyone to find what they enjoy, to discover, to learn, to cry, to laugh, to love and to be able to do so in an open, safe space. thank you for interacting with us as well. thank you for responding to our questions, sharing snippets when we get impatient, teasing us with your new ideas and making life a little more fun and exciting every day. and of course, thank you for doing all of this for free. for expecting so little in return when you give us so much.
now a few things i want you to remember:
although we’re all thankful for having access to your art, your first fan should be yourself. write what you enjoy, write that self-indulgent fic, write your favorite trope, an improbable duo or crossover because you’ve always wanted to. do it for yourself. in the same way, have fun with it. writing is a hobby, it’s not your job, it’s not supposed to be a chore. so do what makes you happy. don’t worry about updating fics, about being slow, about posting too much or too little. some things might take time, some might need an hour to be posted but in the end, they all matter just the same. they’re worth being read and cherished and we will appreciate them. whether you have thousands of notes or barely a few hundreds, you have your place here. you’re still an amazing writer, you’re still an artist regardless of the stats.
whether i've had time to binge-read your stories or just discovered you. thank you. i love you. i’m grateful for you. i see and appreciate your work. your efforts. you. i’m sorry if you’ve ever been received with negativity but i hope this can make up for some of it. you deserve nothing but kindness and appreciation and i hope you know how much you matter here.
sending you all my love,
anna 💗
Oh goodness gracious…I’m not going to lie, this made me a tad bit emotional. I haven’t posted much of my work. And honestly, that’s partially due to the level of negativity that has been propagating lately in this fandom. For me, it makes it a lot harder to just let go and write and post what I want to.
Hell, I currently have a WIP that I’m genuinely loving but I’m so afraid of subjecting it to an audience that can be so unforgiving. But no more. None of us should let that fear control the art we produce. It’s a story I want to tell so it deserves telling.
Kindness from folks like you heals a little bit of my soul. It reassures me to know that amidst the discourse and negativity, there are plenty of people who also just want to hang out, have fun, and spread love. Thank you for taking the time to send out these asks to folks in the community. Please know that your words mean a great deal and that they’re hugely appreciated. Take care of yourself and don’t be a stranger, Anna. 💛
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7, 9, and 11 for your tag game 💜
nah love i need you to answer all of them but yeha only fair i do mine to lul
What is your favourite character in the Foxes? I don't really have favourite there i think Neil will be my favourite in future right now it's Renee
And favourite in the series aside form this one? I will let you guess
Drop your beloved head-canons about both! Renee does not in fact believe in god she participated in Christianity for sense of community it gives her, Riko is deathly allergic to peanuts and wishes he was born a girl but not in the trans way. He just know his life would be better if he wasn't a man. I also feel very strongly about him having adhd/bipolar .
Fic(s) you are always happy to recommend or fic tropes you will always read. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283962/chapters/27922614#workskin Little Boy blue , I generally can be baited into reading any fic where riko is treated with bit more nuance than flat line Disney villain. I adore extreme hurt with happy ending
Which of the books is your favourite The foxhole court i enjoyed this story much more without seeing it's full development also loved Kevin much more before he was pushed aside, my first idea of what this story would be was much different .
Opinions on AFTG audiobook release? Worth a listen juts to laugh at girls voices , but i adore Renees soft tone in it, I think it,s main reason I adore her sm actually.
If you write/draw/create aftg stuff, what is your favourite work of yours?
i adore this fan art a lot bc it,s funny light hearted has clever joke that references rikos obsession with court numbers and has fox jean and riko on it + riko kind of looks like girl here and i think it's very hot look on him
welp the numbers got fucked
Favourite event/plot point in the books Foxes reaction to seths death and seth death, it set really god tone for rest of the story and was the only event that genuinely surprised me bc i did not expected anyone from hero team to drop dead
Least favourite part of canon (can include Extra content) The fact that both foxes and ravens are groups of abused individuals but one word ,, mafia" is enough to put blame for all bat things on riko only even though he was pawn to his caretaker the way she wrote jeans abuse list it feels excessively edgy for sake of begin edgy i find nothing deep or sad about this i can also write down random list of numbers and attach to it words like rape and broken bones
If you could sent Nora an ask and get answer, what would you ask about? i wouldn't ask about anything bc her giving me answer i'm not looking for would feel bad
If you could make an idea of your choice canon to aftg, what would it be? I'd have a riko make a joke about how foxes should be in prison by now considering they are dressed the part (orange) (and most of them broke the law) id also replace neils car lighter burns with something else bc they are annoying to draw
Feel free to share some random hot takes if you like Andrew "murdering" their abusive mother is creepy as fuck and her being abuser or him only teenager with not fully developed brain is not really making this any less creepy and i enjoy his character because of this I don't mind aaron being homophobic , i'm cool with those character being murderers abusers and bigots , it's fictional characters they had not hurt anyone in real life so i don't really care about their fictional flaws and enjoy interacting with their content all the same I don't like only one of the foxes and i don't think this fox should be part of this team i don't really care about story and whatever, it's my personal bias so discussing it deeper makes no sense unless you want to unpack my past and all people who lead me to feel that way rlly
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GAHHH OH MY GOD OKAY OKAY first of all holy smokes I love the theme on your blog so much it's so cool and the red is just,,, chefs kiss oh man💗💗🥹!!
OKAY AJAJA would it be alright if I asked for a matchup for Spiderverse (either of the other fandoms work if they're easier/more fun to work with!! I love all of the fandoms there as well ajajja) :O??<3 please take as long as you need with it!!💗🙏
my persona:
name: ellie :D
personality: ENFP/ENTP (but E and I are bound to change depending on how I'm feeling while taking the test BWAHSHSHD so here's another description!!): I'm a generally optimistic person with the sense of humor of an eight year old boy. I will laugh at your mom jokes and then apologize and then make another one😭 I enjoy helping people and creating things, but I do tend to question my morals a lot and wonder why I am helping those people !! I really like the idea of self-improvement and knowing there's always room for more :D reminders are always great too because I forget a lot of things SJDBSJSJHS
zodiac sign: aries!
ideal type: i'm okay with being paired with any gender, no preference! i'm also a minor/highschool student if that helps at all :D (i'm totally on board with platonic matchups as well, i'm unlabeled so for me i can roll along w just about anything!! whatever is easiest GAARAHH). i really admire people who are kind at heart, it doesn't matter how they show it :D i admire people who are humble but not meek, and are willing to speak their minds when it feels right to them OH MAN and I also love people who i can go on and have deep talks with them and fall asleep next to them giggling like im 7 years old at a sleepover every night. OH AJDJSJ and I also love watching shows meant For Literal Children/cartoons because I find them genuinely hilarious and the lessons are always so good 😭🙏 creativity is important to me as well + education for passions :D my giving love language is words of affirmation and physical touch, and my main receiving is acts of service and physical touch! :D
my favorite trope: SHDHDJDJ FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY or any forms of domestic fluff!! 💗💗(sharing a bed and hurt/comfort and being held after a nightmare is my JAM BWAHHS)
favorite season: autumn :)))
hobbies: I absolutely love biology/biomed/environmental science :D! I love going to aquariums and (art) museums and learning about my passions. i definitely want to work at an aquarium as one of those people who give tours to the 3rd graders one day 🥰🙏 I also love listening to instrumental scores from movies!! (I CRIED OVER THE ONES FROM ATSV I AM UNWELL) how to train your dragon and big hero 6 are definitely up there as a few of my favorites :D oh man I also love performing and doing musical theatre for the sake of the community WAHHHSJ,, I love art and writing even though I can get pretty bad writer's block AND OH MAN I love tutoring a lot and going on bike rides when I'm alone !! I love hanging out w people but I also value my alone time as well, and soMETIMES (I AM WORKING ON IT SJXJSJ) I tend to become a doormat where i can't say no and worry about how I am in public places (bUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING PRESENTATIONS WHICH I FIND HILARIOUS SJXNSKJD), but again I SWEAR I am working on it !! =D💗
and the fandom for spider verse would be great :D!! but again anything else is totally okay!!!
OKAHXHSJD IM SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH PLEASE DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUt ABOUT IT I ALSO THINK YOUR WRITING IS VERY NEAT AND I LIKE IT VERY MUCH AND I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO READ MORE BECAUSE THE STARS W AKAASHI MADE ME MELT. okay that is all have a wonderful day!!! 😭🙏🙏🙏💗💗 take good care of yourself and make sure to sleep well :D!
HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : HOBIE BROWN
— honeymoon :
– hobie thinks it's a little funny, honestly, how things turned out with you — the two of you are almost polar opposites, but you know what they say ; opposites attract, and you were his missing puzzle piece — hobie didn't like labels, but there was no denying that he certainly had a thing for you, and you couldn't deny that you liked him either, so you settled in middle ground.
– hobie would come to your place every night — that's how it started, you'd watch a movie or two and once the clock strikes midnight, you find yourself laying in bed with him, huddled up in his arms with your head resting on his chest and his face buried in your hair, the two of you talk about alot of stuff, jumping from one topic to another about completely unrelated things — he likes listening to you talk, likes the sound of your voice and how it immediately soothes him into a good mood — but once the clock nears five am, and you start mumbling and tripping on your words and your eyelids become heavy, he places a soft kiss on your lips, telling you it's time for bed before holding you close and the two of you eventually fall asleep.
– hobie has a knack to convincing you to do things you wouldn't usually do, like going out with him at three am on a supposed 'date' where he takes you to one of the city's highest rooftops with a couple of snacks and the radio playing your favourite songs, he likes to draw and often brings his sketchbook to those dates, so the two of you doodle on the pages, slapping stickers on them and creating a perpetual memory, and he thinks — actually, believes, that no matter what, he'd never forget you, and he has reached a conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he may be in love with you.
— what's on the radio : moonlight, kali uchis
a/n : hello??? kirishimas-manly-eyeliner ?? 😭😭 i used to follow you, i loved your blog sm and you were legit one of my inspirations to write 😭😭 i didn't know you were aware of my blog holy shit, i love you so much 😭 thank you for the request and your ask was so much fun to read like shejwkwk, you're such a nice person help 😭 thank you sm for the request again, ily — also atsv was so good, i cried alot during the moving so you aren't alone, and i loved hobie's animation ! i loved the way they colored him and how he looked like he was out of a panel and the way he changed colors (??) it was so good, he's one of my faves pls 😭 i hope this did you justice and that you like it ! once again thank you sm for the request <33
#bro your old blog was elite i loved it sm#your posts always popped up on my dash and they always made me laugh like sheiejekso#youre an inspiration my man#you have such good vibes too ily#honeymoon match up event#1k event matchup#1k milestone#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderverse#atsv hobie brown#atsv headcanons#atsv matchups
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let me start this off with i hella respect you and love your art/stories, but all this discussion about torture got me thinking too and i definitely dont wanna come across the wrong way, i agree with you on many points, but i just dont think its that deep.
cause honestly ive been writing torture since i was like 11 so i know its not that serious. not for most people. i get that it could come across the "wrong way" but like... most people literally do not think about this. that being said, ive never written torture in an interrogation setting when it WORKED (i did write interrogation but actually never worked cause then i would have had to stop writing the torture, and, you know, thats what i wanted to write, so the person being tortured never "break").
i wrote (and am writing) torture because i, personally, enjoy it (and get off to it). my characters (the torturers/captors etc) are doing it mostly out of sheer enjoyment/passion. they dont try to get info, dont try to get their victims to be obedient, dont try to brainwash, none of that. i just write what makes ME feel GOOD. i never ever thought about "how would this affect people" or "what deeper meaning does it have", cause, frankly, it doesnt have a deeper meaning for me, all it means is "mmmm torture, i love it".
i. just. enjoy. it. that simple!!
and while im not a fan of the "whump community", i believe lots of people there think like me, in the sense that they just want to write what they enjoy without thinking about it. reflecting to what the other anon said.. like yeah they say it's "fiction only", and it "could be interpreted as torture apologia" (a term i havent even heard before you talked about it), but it really is just that.
it might sound "bad" or "ignorant" but most people dont go digging for info or research studies before they go writing, and that's alright, most people write FOR FUN. as a hobby. not trying to think too hard about things, you know, just let out their thoughts, frustrations, emotions, all that shit. can it come across as ignorant? probably! but at the end of the day, it's just people writing for the sake of writing.
i really, REALLY respect you and your story and how much thought and research goes into it. i dont read all that "whump" shit, im mostly "in the community" for the art and pictures. your story was the only one that captivated me, and it's not for no reason. i WISH i could write the way you do. but... most people wont ever do all that for writing, for something they just do on their freetime as a hobby.
and believe me, ive been writing for 15+ years now. all that time its only ever been a hobby, ive never done research, i do it when i feel good, to feel good. and im not planning to release. most of these people on tumblr, in the "whump community", they dont plan on releasing. they just sharing their little stories with each other. as far as i can tell, there is no harm in it like you say in harry potter or batman, all that. these little stories wont make it out to the public. and im sure most people who write dont even upload their writing! (me included, hahaha.)
just saying. its not that deep:) keep doing you because you and your story is AMAZING, but just dont give too much time of your day to all these random "whump writers" who write shit you wouldnt wanna read anyways:))
serious here if you're this far gone in wilful ignorance i think i would like you to stop reading my content. i mean this genuinely. people like you are not part of the audience i wanna build ykwim
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you write magluck fics because YOU love magluck!! you have so many wonderful ideas about them, and you write them to share with magluck nation. its true that it's a very small nation, but the fandom as a whole feels kinda small sometimes. That doesnt mean that the audience you DO reach doesnt appreciate the work you put in to making magluck content. your art, your memes, your fics, lux!!! it's all such a wonderful addition to the little community of magluck enthusiasts. you can really feel how much you care about these little blorbos in all the content you make, and hearing your thoughts about them is always such a genuine joy. i know that being a writer can be super discouraging when theres not a ton of interaction with the work you make, but the work you make comes from the heart. it's rough when the creative consumption side of the fandom feels small, and magluck nation feels even smaller, but the people you reach really do care about your ideas. you dont have to answer this ask, also! you can delete it if youd like, or save it in your inbox when you need a reminder that your work (from fics, to art, to memes and headcanons) is valued. or you can answer it if youd like! im not here to police what you do with your inbox lol. i'm just here to remind you that i love your work, and i know that its hard to feel motivated to create for a small community, but that doesnt mean your work isn't appreciated by those who love magluck same as you <3
This ask is so sweet! And I did for sure enjoy writing all of the magluck fics I have and it was really fun conceptualizing Lux as a character!
In the long run, it just feels like the stuff I did create didn't really matter, but I'm sure that's a general issue my brain has with a lot of things.
I'm glad you enjoyed my fics and Lux and everything! That's what's really important! I try to be like MJ in the Spiderman PS5 game and tell myself that if even one person enjoys something I created, it's worth it. But it's easy to also start feeling sad about stuff especially cause I have a hard time not comparing myself to others and usually it makes me think that there's something wrong with me and I'm not good enough compared to everyone else.
#my therapist told me the other day I have a worry monster (my ocd basically)#so like that monster also sometimes convinces me im not worth much compared to others#brain is braining#thank you for the kind words!#asks#friendo!
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