#raj deserves some love in the fandom

[clickabletale]

What if I made another ANS OC..?

What if I made him a prince.. and shipped him with Raj? What then— 👀

[deimosbreakfrost]

Total Drama Island (2023) S2 "Rewrited" au

A possibly cringe Fan Fic that I'll hate on the future

So, this is a fan fic of an Rewrited au of mine... """""Rewrited""""" because I'll change alot of things and I am just making this fan fic for fun while showing you guys what I would change.

Okay, let I start this modern tragedy already.

First part:

Episode 01, The kids will (not) be okay:

-The episode starts with Chris, Chef and the entire cast from the Total Drama island (2023) on a plane, going to a new season in a "new" place. Chris was talking to someone by a Walkie Talkie.

*Biiz*

???: Mr. McLean, seriously that you're lying to them saying that they're going to some kind of "total drama: World Tour" 2?

Chris: umm... Maybe--?

???: McLean! That's pratically clickbai-

Chris: Hey! Don't you dare use this "modern generation" language on me! Anyways, be ready because we're almost getting to there.

???: ah, ok-

- Chris ends the transmission

Chris: wow! That boy still annoying...

Chef: Chris, we're recording!

Chris: Ah, don't worry! After this introduction we will be finally free! ... I mean, just me, not you!

Chef: grr...

Chris: ah, calm down! Anyways, it's been a year 'total drama fans'! Since we don't see Each other THAT long, I'll give y'all a quick recap.

Last season on Total Drama Island:

16 new contestants showed up with the dream of taking that 1 million dollars price.

And the eliminations we're surprising!

Caleb was just there. until he even had the chance of doing something, Bowie made everyone eliminate him! Poor boy...

Nichelle humiliated herself Infront of everyone.

Emma HAD a chance of showing to everyone on live tv that Chase is (or was) a horrible person, but Chase was luckier than her.

Julia was boring, the way she talked, the "spiritual, love and peace" things that she normally talks about was annoying enough to her team.

Wayne would do anything and everything for his best friend Raj, and he was more than happy when he found out about his buddy's secret!

Scary Girl was Creepy, but not for Axel and Ripper! They we're her Unic friends that she had in a while, and the Unic ones that think that her actions are more annoying than scary.

Priya was pathetic! Seriously that she think her parents are so great that she easily go insane when someone criticizes them? Pff, surely the most well deserved elimination of that season.

Mk was smart, a little too much. And because of that, she went from being Bowie's Allie, to be a traitor! Well, it was that, that Bowie made everyone believe.

Raj has a secret, he loves Bowie! And because of that, he made our fandom go wild for them! The fandom loves them! Especially that people from that one Social Media that has "Tum" on the start...

And Chase knowed About that! The fact that Bowie and Raj we're dating, of course. Not the fact that the fandom is crazy for them. So, as a indirect revenge for MK, he was double eliminated with Raj!

Ripper and Damien have a... Interesting friendship. A "nerd hater" and a nerd!

Ripper was... Adorable? Yeah, he went from being a pathetic alpha male wannabe, from being a even nicer version of Owen, and because of that "adorable" personality that he gained he made Damien, Zee and especially Chase be his best friends! (Axel and scary girl too) Good for him, I guess.

Damien screamed a lot until His friends convinced him that being public humiliated in live television isn't that bad!

And Millie was nice, she tried to write a book about how much this generation is potentially bad, but after Priya's elimination, she learned that it was just a exception! There IS good people from this generation, you just need to find the right ones! (Priya not included)

And let's go to the final 3...

Axel, she had everything to win! The strength, the power, the personality... But, Ripper and Scary Girl missed her, so they finded a way to make her go back to them! That's what you gain when you are friends with a fake emo and ex-bad boy.

Zee, how did he got in there?! He could easily be eliminated until the merge but no one wanted to! And if wasn't for the "milk" part of the last challenge, he would have won! But he didn't.

And Bowie won! He used and eliminated half of the cast not counting with Wayne and Raj, of course.

Chris: So yeah, EVERYONE that I mentioned is back!

-Then it cuts to Chris in the passagers cabin with the 16 participants.

All the 16 participants are in here

The one that went out first:

Caleb: I'll make YOU guys regret voting me off...

-Caleb said in anger, while pointing at Bowie

Bowie: geez...

Ripper: you got a bit 'edgy' after 1 year, huh?

Caleb: what?

The most misunderstood one:

Ripper: huh?

Chase: wait, since when Ripper is misunderstood?

And the worse one:

Chase: excuse me?!

Emma: pff...

And of course, the winner:

Bowie: yeah, exactly, me!

Chris: well, I don't know if you guys noticed but Bowie was the Unic villain after a long time that won a season, the Unic one that did that was heather.

Bowie: wait, reall-

Chris: okay, this is slowly getting boring! So let's make the things end quickly!

-the ground below all the participants opened up, making all the participants fall into The water.

Chris: Ahaha... I'll miss that, and Chef already leaved without even saying "bye"!!

-Chris quickly ran to the drivers cabin, grabbing the plane's volant and taking control of it.

Chris: arg! Okay, I'll be quick! This surely the last time you all will see me hosting this program! Yeah, this is Sooo sad! But listen up! The future is bullet proof and the aftermath WILL be secundary! And time to them do it now and do it loud! I am Chris McLean, and I'll never, EVER see y'all again! Bye, losers!!

-after Chris leaved everyone behind, the scene cuts to the brand new hosts

...

Topher: Yeah, we're finally hosting our favorite reality show ever!

Sierra: But it's just so sad that Chris is gone for like... Forever?

Topher: nah, judging by the way he is he'll surely randomly appear when we Least expect it or something. But anyways, yeah, Chris finally gave his role as host for someone else!

Sierra: two to be exact.

Topher: yeah, right! Anyways, I am Topher! I was a participant of Pahkitew island!

Sierra: and I'm Sierra--!! I was a participant of World Tour!

Topher: and if you haven't noticed yet...

*Both Sierra and Topher say together*

We are the brand new hosts of total drama island

...

Topher: season 2.

Sierra: you don't need to explain it to the Audience-

Topher: okay, now pull the opening already.

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

DVD COMMENTARY (It's Time to Make Time)

“Chief there’s a massive hickey the size of Ba Sing Se on your neck and it’s really hard for all of us to imagine you having a sex life all of a sudden. Just the sight of it paints a very vivid picture of the kind of sex you’re having and the kind of person you’re having it with. Spirits, Chief! It’s purple in color- how are you not in pain? What was he trying to do to you? And no, we know you didn’t sleep well or sleep much last night- because you were having some really wild sex and that mark was not there yesterday and today it’s the first thing anyone can see when they look at you! No but really- what was he- trying to eat and swallow you? Please ask me to stop talking, Lin?” Mako pants. 

Lin gawked at him, thoroughly shocked at his guts to it to her face and even more so that everyone now knew that she was probably involved with someone. 

“Ha-has everyone noticed?” She managed to get out meekly. 

“Yes Chief. Everyone. People are placing bets on who they think you’re sleeping with.” Mako exhales sharply and finally looks her in the eye. 

Have fun!

Ah, It's Time to Make Time, my dearest.

This fic was written to be just a one-shot, and second chapter that followed were also supposed to be one-shot that happened to occur in this universe. The third chapter was just because this fic deserved to be wrapped into that perfect little bow with a cherry on top.

So, coming to the very first chapter where this excerpt is from: I believe I wrote this very early on in my fandom writing carrier- I had all these "need to hide our relationship from Tenzin" ideas for Linumi and I was playing around them.

One such idea, that I borrowed from real life events is- Lin getting caught with a hickey. Canonically, I think Lin would be totally intolerant if a lover left a mark on her- unless, they're in a serious relationship and it was an accident and neither party intended on it/realized it. With Bumi and his nomadic wildness, I can imagine him having a hard time taming himself- especially if he's as in love with and attracted to someone like Lin.

In the backdrop of the plot, Lin is seemingly extremely busy. She's been spreading herself pretty thin and being as sedulous as her, she won't half-ass anything- her job or her "casual" relationship.

I wanted to depict a couple of things here:

From personal experience, I know that being the kind of busy where you don't even have the time to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror doesn't bode well. Sooner or later, there'll be an eruption. Lin does come across as someone who'd be that kinda busy. There comes a time in everyone's career when they're asked to "take it slow" because of their age and such- and I wanted to show that, irrespective of age, if someone's still kicking, they don't have to slow down for that. They could easily slow down to live their lives on their terms- because they've earned it. I've seen a lot of headcanons that Lin retires because of her injuries, or her age- etc, and knowing Lin, I don't think she'd let things like that hold her back. If she does decide to slow down, it's going to HAVE TO be because she wants to and not because she has to. Establishing both these points were a good two birds with one stone.

Being a woman with power at the workplace. It's really sad when a woman at a higher position is reduced to vapid gossip for having something as basic as a personal life. It's only because people fear Lin that they won't treat her the way that one criminal (Raj) did. Lucky for Lin, her subordinates both respect and love her and so she isn't quite subjected to that- which is something very positive about this phenomenon that I got to portray.

Mako and Lin's friendship. I can draw so many parallels between the two: from being the ever-sacrificing, traumatized older sibling to drowning yourself in work to avoid your personal life. I think Lin sorta sees him as her mini me- and she's both proud of and scared for him. It's one thing for him to emulate good qualities, but she hates that she sees her bad qualities in him too. In coming clean about her personal life to Mako, she's showing him that he need not minimize his life in order to serve. Having love in your life doesn't diminish your power.

Lin handling herself. Lin likes to face her problems head on. Everyone has reached a moment in their lives when they're totally humiliated and it's no different for Lin. She learnt the hard way the price of not accepting things coming your way with grace- that if she tries to fight everything that doesn't go her way, it's going to be her down fall in the end. After reconciling with Tenzin, then Suyin, and then her mother, she realizes that had she just accepted circumstances(Pema, scars and mommy issues) for what they were back when they arose, she wouldn't have had to spend all these decades feeling alone and bitter. She didn't need to isolate herself, and guard her emotions with such high walls if she just accepted the situations(move on, forgive and mommy issues). Having likely being subjected to terrible press in the wake of her breakup with Tenzin, I can see Lin wanting to keep this new relationship- one with Bumi, no less- on the downlow. The last thing she needs to relive is the cruel gossip columns and paparazzi outside her window. So, she decides to take it one step at a time.

Sorry, I kinda got carried away there. Now, coming to excerpt itself: Mako is always a little nervous around Lin. He has very confusing feelings about her- he thinks she's cool and hot and he has that "do I wanna be her or do I wanna be with her?" dilemma. But either way, keeping those feelings at bay, he has a lot of respect for Lin as his mentor and cares for her like family. Lin knows he's the only one who'll give it to her straight- that he could be a confidant of sorts and that he is not to be judged by the company he keeps. She trusts him to the fullest, and we see here how it only substantiates that trust when he's the only one to tell her what's really going on, and return, is the only one to learn of her big secret.

Mako kinda gets lost in his rambling of course, because Lin makes him nervous and the idea of her having a sex life only further escalates the "do I wanna be her or do I wanna be with her" dilemma since he gets to view her in a sexual light for the first time. Either way, Mako's a serious guy, and pointedly conveys his exact thoughts until he realizes, physically, he needs to stop talking.

Lin's shock has more to do with the contents of his ramble as well as some to do with the length of his chatter. She knows he can't look her in the eye, but appreciates when he finally does as he tries to sound more comforting. Lin doesn't do well with feeling embarrassed, and Mako knows that- very few people can sense that about her.

I think it's somewhat in this moment, when Lin makes a decision. Old Lin would've immediately broken up with Bumi, without any explanation and sent him running. But as for new Lin, who 1) cared about Bumi and 2) wanted him to know that she cared him, she had to be better. So she not only admitted to herself that she cares for Bumi, but also to Mako that being in love and having a relationship is not a weakness or a vulnerability.

I hope you enjoyed this commentary!

[canonically47]

i watched the entirety of total drama 2023 today, and here's how it went (spoilers below!) (no duh...):

got very, very, VERY emotionally attached to zee, laughed my ass off at most of his lines, absolutely adored every minute of him being on screen, and cringed when he announced he had joined both alliances, then got SUPER MAD at chris allowing the players to vote again. what bullshit

found bowie and raj's romance absolutely adorable, although cut a bit short, but they made up for it by bringing everyone back in the finale and having raj cheer for bowie so intensely! also, ADORED wayne and how supportive he was! he was absolutely adorable!!! and after being so into the many queer ships of the fandom, actually hearing the words 'gay' and 'bi' on total drama made me kind of tear up. that was adorable.

also, loved everyone, from wayne to chris and sharks being supportive of bowie and raj, but how much chris emphasized his hatred of emma and chase's relationship. i also hate them, by the way. emma was cool until folding all the way back for chase.

very mixed on ripper. on one side, he is annoying and one big fart joke, but on the other side, he seems like he could genuinely be sweet if he tried hard enough - or not at all! he didn't even want to help millie, but she still found him helpful when giving her advice on how to win priya over again!

weirdly enough, found no new ships except for rajbow. saw some people shipping priya and millie, as well as wayne and raj, but honestly - and this is VERY unusual for me to say - i think those two duos are way better off as platonic! of course, massive respect for those who ship them, they have some cute moments that i guess you could take for romantic if you wanted to, but they're not my style.

the whole goat thing was hilarious. the goats going >:O at bowie saying he has eaten and will eat goat again was just so good.

the pretty boys need to try to make it further, man. justice for caleb. a lot of eliminations were kind of unfair to me, actually, especially axel's, and for ripper i really felt like he could've gone another time. i've already mentioned zee. *sobs* zee............... he is the winner in my eyes. (is it obvious i have a favorite?) (i think it's bowie but zee is tying with him. zee <333)

i kind of disliked millie at the start but hearing her mini-speech about her own insecurities and thinking she's above everyone else...argh i kin her so hard stop she deserves the world.

chef? was actually interested?? in their safety??? up until the finale of course but i found that so weird

i screamed in shock and disappointment when bowie didn't win, but i kind of knew deep down inside they were bold enough to add an openly gay contestant, and although i was certain he would make it to the finale, i was expecting the win to go to priya because they wouldn't go much further than that. next season, though :')

i was very surprised with how major some of the roles were, and how insignificant others were! i feel like lauren, mk and nichelle were hyped up a lot, but i barely got attached to them, while i just saw one or two posts of priya and millie, and assumed they would not even make it to the final ten. i also thought some ships would have more interactions due to some fandom posts - nichelle and axel... the potential was THERE... but they barely got a WORD........

what i'm thinking for next season:

chase and emma break up all over again, but (HOPEFULLY.) this time it's for good, and emma and bowie get a chance to properly reunite and become friends again.

bowie and raj will also be an official couple, but because of that, i doubt chris would let them on the same team.

it would also be fun to see wayne on the same team as bowie, and not raj! bowie talks his ears off about how great raj is, and then wayne does the same (but platonically) and it's great. everyone hates them because all they hear about is raj, raj, raj.

caleb - please, please, god - makes it a bit further this time, and damien makes it to the final five! everyone is shocked, including him.

my ideal final five would be raj, wayne, bowie, zee, and damien, but i seriously doubt that would happen because they always keep things equal between the genders, so, for the sake of the next point, let's say it's raj, axel, zee, nichelle, and bowie.

my ideal elimination order would be:

mk ("we don't want you spying on us again, that's gross")

lauren (costs them the challenge because she got carried away being creepy)

caleb (the votes are rigged against him yet again, this time by julia! goddamn it julia)

ripper (his pride got in the way and cost them the challenge, but he managed to get a bit of redemption in the episodes he was in),

millie (too injured from a challenge to continue, urges priya to keep pushing forward)

julia (people get tired of her bullshit much quicker this time and vote her off before she can cause any more unwanted drama, but spoiler alert, bowie's still here, so you did nothing, guys)

chase (right after emma's major breakup with him! ouch.)

priya (takes it VERY. HARD.)

emma (the votes are rigged against her)

damien (he put up a good fight)

wayne ("WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNEEEEEEEEEE" - raj)

nichelle (it is found out that she rigged the votes)

bowie ("BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE" - raj).

the final three are raj, axel, and zee. raj has an alliance with wayne, bowie, emma and zee - zee joined because he wanted to make up for the last failed alliances - and so, raj and zee team up to get axel out (because they literally couldn't otherwise).

side note, bowie still got voted out because nichelle helped by rigging the votes from afar for axel. what the fuck.

so, for the first time in total drama history, the final two are of the same gender! lots of angry letters for that one.

it seems that zee has the win for a while - against all odds! - but, to make up for his boyfriend losing completely last time, raj takes the win, and splits the money between himself, wayne, and bowie! there's a remaining dollar in there somewhere, and zee's mad happy to get it. (raj actually gives him more, but that's between you and me.)

and that's it! i'm obviously very biased because i have favorites, other opinions are welcome if you wanna discuss :D

here is a list of my ranking of the characters (for which this tierlist was used) to finish this post off strong:

[lucyslovelies]

My Thoughts on TDI 2023

Well...I finally watched the season thanks in part to @titodicks promoting the yaoi/bl/mlm ship potential!

Let me start off by saying that I LOVED this season... it reminded me how amazing Total Drama has always been, since my opinion has been clouded by the atrocious fandom.

My current kin from this season is definitely Emma... I felt so bad for her! Her story was a lot similar to Court/ney, but instead of being an abusive control freak she was so forgiving and gracious (even when Chase didn't deserve it!) and she never tried to force him to be anything he wasn't. I don't ship them as much as I want to but maybe some redemption hurt/comfort fics will be out there soon! They have so much potential!

I know the fandom is super against this, but I personally didn't care for Axel... she just felt like a revamped Eva to me, so I wasn't all too sad to see her go.

Scary Girl was definitely perfectly rated, though! I thought she was hilarious and could totally see her being yandere over Damien. Make it happen, Fresh!

And of course... as for Total Drama's "first" gay characters....I thought they were fine. I prefer Rayne (Raj x Wayne) to Rajbow but both ships are awesome, in my opinion!

[biff-adventurer]

This is a great and valuable addition! But I'm afraid I'm being misunderstood. Let me clarify.

Most people in the fandom don't actually acknowledge that Japan has the history it does with how it looks at and represents the world. That's the context this is coming from. This also isn't a "Japan is a big bad evil" post but moreso "please look at the cultural context in which this media is created AND consumed".

To say "please be mindful where you step in an already racist setting" isn't really splitting hairs, to me. The reason I made this post is actually because of my Vietnamese friends. They've literally said these things. No one wants to speak up and get more hurt than they already are. In terms of what the "ao dai" actually is, I definitely am not arguing the context you've put them in. It's facts! To further your example, saris in South Asia now have blouses, but they didn't before the British Raj. The way we understand saris today is very different, and is certainly modified from the original because of imperialism reasons. It can't be and really isn't about "authenticity" because there's no such thing as purity in any form.

Naturally, in the modern context, there are so many styles of ao dai where they are adapted to more of a tunic style, and there are styles beyond that. This was just a post about the conflation of qipao versus ao dai by Western fans. I was informed that ao dai are MEANT to have flowing pants or a gown of some kind underneath, because the idea of the ao dai is for it to make people look tall. Like someone said in the tags, even the ffxiv team knows this, or they wouldn't have added "quan" to the game. I'm not seeing any Vietnamese fans disagreeing, but rather saying they experienced what my friends are feeling, too. That doesn't mean other fans can't disagree! I'm NOT East Asian, I'm South Asian. I just happen to be surrounded by East Asian (American) voices.

For more context, as an Indian, I love the dancer costumes-- they are so pretty, with beautiful embellishments, and obviously based on costumes that are meant to be costumes. They're very much based on theatrical orientalist stereotypes, so they simultaneously reinscribe the belly dancer image, which is then further fetishized by fans. Then there's the matter of choice: do I use them or not? Personally, yes, I do. Because regardless, I love them. But being aware helps me personally avoid getting into situations where it goes any further than a beautiful costume. (Playing out the fetishized image in roleplay, I mean. The actual dancing part in the costume, absolutely not without a similar reinscription/supporting stereotypes effect.)

Of course, this fan with Palestinian heritage has a specific experience they are speaking from. The same stereotypes affect them and their life and history in a different but similar way. It's helpful that they offered people other ethnic looks that are closer to what their culture looks like. Some people genuinely don't know and go along with the stereotypes unquestioningly. I hope people will try to avoid that, and the glamour references are useful for that reason. Obviously, their perspective is a little different than mine, but it deserves to be highlighted.

A similar example - maybe you were not one of the Koreans who felt very offended by the release of the traditional Japanese school uniforms, because yes. In their original historical context, they are just Japanese school clothes. Of course, the history of empire tied to them was upsetting to a lot of Korean fans whose family's traumas from that time were still being felt. So they asked people not to use them. My wife, who is Chinese (Taiwan, also affected by this history, whose grandmother still speaks Japanese) did not feel as strongly as some of the Korean fans did, because of the aforementioned context--they are school uniforms of their era from Japan. Of course they were used by the empire, but they were using it themselves, too.

It's truly not a black and white issue, and we obviously can't avoid stepping on everyone's toes. Authenticity is a version of purity, and it just doesn't truly exist. I want to give people a useful place to start thinking about their choices. A lot of people don't realize they participating in stereotypes, but by letting people know, they get more context. I should have perhaps said BE CAREFUL with how you mix and match culturally specific gear, because it's not like they don't influence each other at all! They often did and still do!

There are so many people (of all backgrounds) who don't realize that they're repeating stereotypes even when they look at the histories and cultural practices of different places they want to incorporate roleplay.

I don't think it's a lot to ask people to broaden their horizons. And I wouldn't condone the expectation of perfection from strangers online, either. This post came from a place of seeing racist behaviour associated with the gear choices actively happening over and over again. I don't want people to split hairs, as it's going to scare people and limit creativity. I didn't come away with "wow these people using gear WRONG is the root of evil racism". It is a symptom, yes. This was an imperfect post created out of pain, happening to me and others. This is one of those things where yes, you look at it and search for where the other factors, such as the history of the genre, etc, also influence what exists in the game.

There's no "main issue", but rather several issues stemming from several issues ad infinitum.

At this point, I think I'm just hurt that instead of asking for clarity, context, added nuance, etc, someone rushed to tell me why I'm wrong while also making various assumptions about my thinking. It's literally why no one wants to speak up and start these discussions. Like, yeah, the logic of the argument says those things, and it's valid to bring up. But, yeah. The way it was said really hurt my feelings.

i realize a lot of people in the xiv community might not know this, but the ao dai is not a qipao. it's a bit insensitive to wear the ao dai without pants (like, as in, at least jeans or leggings) b/c

1) we must be respectful/not conflate different ethnic styled clothes with one another, as it perpetuates orientalist ideas and attitudes, and

2) vietnamese players will see you and probably ask themselves where your pants are (confirmed from a close friend of mine who was tirelessly harassed on the first day the ao dai was released for validation to wear the ao dai out of cultural context)

if you're looking for chinese style clothes in xiv, such as qipao, you'll want to look at the "far eastern garb for women/men" or the "far eastern socialite's attire", for examples. if you're looking for japanese style or korean style clothes, they're available, too.

the thing is, mixing and matching east asian wardrobes contributes to this orientalist image of the far east. scholar edward said talks a lot about this in his 1978 book "orientalism", where it is summed up as:

"the exaggeration of difference, the presumption of Western superiority, and the application of clichéd analytical models for perceiving the 'Oriental world'".

there are lots of high fantasy tropes that feed into racist stereotypes and caricatures. just because ffxiv comes from the far east doesn't make it immune to perpetuating certain ideas or images uncritically - but that is an entirely separate discussion, if equally important.

to avoid creating characters and stories that feed into the negativity in this world, research and specificity are your friends. this doesn't limit one's creativity, but rather humanizes your characters and the world we live in.

ultimately, it's your adventure and your choice. whether you take the lore literally or as a suggestion is up to you. either way, i wish you well on your journeys throughout the radiant world of etheirys.

[readbyred]

Requests: open

fandoms I currently want to write for are in bold, those I particularly want to write rn are in colour

my fandoms:

The owl house

Tangled the series

Moomins

Starkid

IT

Stranger Things

Heroes of Olympus

Dead poets society

Camp Camp (wood scouts only!)

My babysitter’s a vampire

Amphibia

Miss Peregrine’s home for peculiar children (BOOKS)

Fear street

Dear Evan Hansen

Obey me!

Wednesday

The Legend of Vox Machina

HTTYD (+ RTTE)

[IN PROGRESS] Dragons: nine realms

Total Drama-verse

Grishaverse

this blog is

now STRICTLY A HEADCANONS BLOG

inclusive of all readers

okay with writing heavier topics; just to make things clear - if you (for example) will ask me to write a reader with depression you’ll get my best genuine depiction of a reader with depression - my goal is to make all readers feel loved bc they deserve to, not to glamourize things that should not be romanticized

open to mentioning topics such as (but not limited to): physical abuse, non-physical abuse, mental disorders, violence, gore, death, dealing with trauma, disability

NOT OKAY WITH PROVIDING SEXUAL CONTENT

more than okay with writing platonic and familial relationships

cool with yandere requests (characters I can write as yanderes are listed below in italics)

characters I write for:

TOH

luz, amity, eda (preferably platonic/parental), lilith (platonic/parental only), raine (preferably platonic/parental), darius, kikimora, willow, gus, edric, emira, mattholomule, bria, gavin, boscha, hunter, vee

TTS

rapunzel, eugene, cassandra, varian, every other character that appeared in the series (except for the King, I just don't like him)

MOOMINS/MOOMINVALLEY

moomin, sniff, snorkmaiden, snufkin

SK

hhh just ask but I write for like, almost everyone

IT

the teen losers club, platonic eddie corcoran (book-based), teen Henry bowers, can try doing the g00ns but this will be fanon based

ST

lucas, max, eleven, mike, dustin, will, steve, robin

HOO/PJO

octavian, reyna, percy, piper, annabeth, leo, calypso, rachel, nico, jason, frank, hazel, alabaster

DPS

chris, charlie, knox, todd, neil, cameron

CC

woodscous lol preferably pikeman bc idc about the series anymore, he was cool though

MBAV

ethan, rory, erica, sarah, benny’s on thin f*cking ice /hj, jesse

AMPHIBIA

sasha, marcy, anne

MPHFPC

horace, emma, enoch, jacob, bronwyn, hugh, fiona, millard; the rest of the main group is good too as long as it's not romantic

FS

Deena, Sam, Kate, Simon, Josh, Ryan, young Ziggy, Cindy, Alice, young Nick

DEH

jared

R&M

morty, jessica, beth, jerry, summer

OM!

levi, solomon, asmo, (platonic) luke; edit: now the brothers, diavolo and simeon too

WEDNESDAY

enid, tyler, bianca, eugene, ajax, i can try writing wednesday or xavier

TLOVM

main squad

HTTYD/RTTE

astrid, hiccup, snotlout, tuffnut, ruffnut, fishlegs, heather, gustav, dagur

[LOADING…] D9R

still unsure who I will write for; d’angelo and buzzsaw are for certain, we’ll see about the rest

TOTAL DRAMA

old gen: scott, cody, heather, lindsay, sierra, katie, sadie, courtney, ezekiel (before the monster mess), harold, gwen

new gen: emma, millie, zee, wayne, raj, julia, nichelle, axel, damien, ripper, priya. maybe scary girl if you ask nicely /hj edit: chase grew on me, I’ll write for him 2

Grishaverse

alina, mal, aleksander, ivan, tamar, genya, some queerplatonic yuri if anyone wants that and it's not just me

inej, nina, matthias, kaz, wylan, jesper

in progress: nikolai, zoya, kuwei, leoni

[theburialofstrawberries]

Do you have any fic recs... you seem like a good connoisseur of like, that particular brand of thought-provoking gorgeous writing style holy crap I can’t believe someone wrote this intricate, delicate piece of fiction for free stuff. I don’t even care if it’s like about Pixar Cars I trust your taste fully on this. Asking for a friend.

Boy do I totally have exactly what you asked for. Below are recs largely from fandoms where I have had either zero or minimal engagement with the source material but whose authors I’d trust with my life. In no particular order: 

1. In the spirit of your Pixar Cars joke, this Transformers fic by the peerless astolat that will leave you stunned the robot cars didn’t bone when they are so clearly in love. If you like that one you should read the Victory Condition, same fandom and author; someone correctly commented that its the next Great American Novel and only we on this site will ever know

2. One of my absolute favourite written works ever which I will never stop recommending is The Book of Secrets by Are; Downton Abbey, prickly gay evil butler with a heart of gold, vain handsome footman undergoing a deep crisis of identity. Are introduces psychological complexity and richness to the fairly bland Jimmy character, and as tumblr user maiden once remarked, making good fanfiction for bad tv shows IS the noblest of women’s works, this generation’s Bayeux tapestry. If you like that you should definitely read Hauntsverse (the Enchanted Life of Thomas Barrow has the kind of pacing & action & thematically + narratively satisfying conclusion in its last third that Christopher Nolan dreams of)

3. Also still really like this Rave footballer RPF fic of Christiano Ronaldo and Kaka where Ronaldo is a half-demon and Kaka is a priest. Love a good crisis of faith story. I do not follow football and have no dog in the RPF discourse war but Rave is just a lush brilliant humorous writer 

4. User Fahye literally held the real estate deeds to my ass for the longest time, they’re prolific and have done some excellent work in the Untamed and Yuri on Ice fandoms in particular, but two niche works that deserve to be mentioned: Single Use Weapon, a fealty fic set in a tiny modern day kingdom. Monarch is in love with the childhood friend turned mercenary who must protect his king. And then this enjolras / grantaire fic that I’ve probably outgrown since I don’t have the tolerance for prolonged angst anymore, but when I did, this was the one I kept returning to   

5. Syllic sent me down an entire Merlin/Arthur phase with Three Tasks (if you like this you should check out the rest of their works + astolat’s entire Merlin body of work, Crown of the Summer Court is widely regarded as one of the best fanworks ever ever ever)

6. Some anon very long ago recommended An Ever Fixed Mark, which is a soulmates AU of Pride and Prejudice. The author AMarguerite does some beautiful well-researched world-building here and completely transports you to the regency era, I learned all about the Ton. But importantly this series is juicy and funny and full of heart. It’s also choose your own adventure -- what if Lizzie had ended up with Colonel Fitzwilliam? Or the literal actual Duke of Wellington? Staunch supporters of Mr. Darcy may rest easy seeing as there is a 100K+ story dedicated to Darcy/Lizzie but there’s also two separate what-ifs; the one where Lizzie shacks up with the Duke of Wellington is, for my money, the best 

7. Passion & Profession starring Marcus Aquila of The Eagle (2011) and YES Jamie Bell EXCEPT as St John Rivers from Jane Eyre. Follows St John’s adventures after he sets for Calcutta -- and lives, because he has his big gay awakening with a buff handsome crippled soldier. Beautiful story, St John is a drama queen, really liked the portrayal of British Raj era West Bengal here. As I said, I love a good crisis of faith fic, and the conversation St John has with a cheerful gay reverend near the climax of the fic is one of the favourite back and forths on religion and gay love ever 

8. This fix-it Snowpiercer fic where Yona and Timmy survive and find an underground society....sci-fi levels of intricate and bold world-building  

9. Another fix-it because I’ve recently been obsessed with Avatar where Neytiri is the one chosen by the elder tree to become Toruk Makto and save her people; same author has written a 34K slow burn between Trudy and Grace that I’m dying to read 

10. Some original works that have recently been on my mind: 

For King & Country, I’m following Part 2 of this masterful series with bated breath; insecure mage hates his handsomer more charismatic more talented rival, unaware said rival has been in love with him for aaages. 

This weird short lovely thing where a thief rides across a desert nearly dies and is saved by the mute solar deity whose temple he is about to rob. Love an unexpected story that makes me re-read looking for clues and subtext and details I may have missed 

This horror fic about how a group of people on an online forum for analyzing a Tolkein-like children’s series meet up IRL to discuss the author’s alleged descent into madness and unlock the mystery behind his last seemingly nonsensical book. As you say I cannot believe people write this stuff for free

Hollycomb is a legend and my heart pangs with every re-read of this paranormal coming of age fic....wistful & lovely 

And my bookmarks for further reference. If you end up reading anything from this list let me know!!!!!

[piscesparker]

Heyyy!!! I just wanted to tell u that i love your work and i just read ' A perfect cliche' And it was AWSOME, I was wondering if u could do more which involved Peter and desi!reader, maybe the reader wears a lehenga and Peter goes crazy on how good she looks.

a/n: the coincidence that I'm attending a wedding this weekend is *chef's kiss* I hope you like it 😊

Mine P.P

Peter being excited was an understatement, he was always open to new experiences, so when your cousin invited you and your boyfriend to her wedding in India, you couldn't say no; more like Peter forced you to say yes so he could come. The two of you deserved a break, at this was the perfect time, of course being an avenger too had it's toll on him.

While you and Peter were discussing about your trip, Tony overheard and offered to use his private jet. Guess being his favourite had its perks. Soon the day came when you had to leave, and after almost 12 hours you finally landed in your hometown. Not that Tony didn't trust you two, but he still sent Happy to chaperone you but you decided to ditch him and just be with each other.

The next day you and Peter arrived at the venue where they would be having the mehendi ceremony. Peter's jaw dropped seeing all the beautiful decoration and the was absolutely in awe  with all the festivities going on around, but he said it as nothing compared to the one next him. The minute you saw your cousin your ran to greet her and abandoning him.

Of course he didn't mind, it had been so long since you had seen your family. Hours went by and Peter found himself wandering around the place but then suddenly something caught his eye, it was you standing with some guy whose hands were near your bare waist since you had a lehenga on. For a second Peter found himself drooling over your beauty, but was soon snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the two of laughing.

"Hey." He whispered in your ears as his cold fingers snaked and brushed your exposed waist, a soft giggle escaping from your lips.

"Hey, I want you to meet someone," you said as he pecked your cheeks, "this is my childhood best friend, Raj." The said best friend extended his hand, but Peter subtly refused as he was busy nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck and placing soft but chaste kisses there, hoping he would get the message, which he did.

"What was going on before I came?" Peter asked innocently as he left.

"Relax Pete, he was just helping he get my phone out of my purse, because my hands were covered in mehendi." You chuckled as your boyfriend adored the patterns on your hands.  

"What?" He exclaimed, "You could have called me!"

"Pete?" You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, "I was going to call you, that is why I needed my phone." You laughed at his dorkiness and a soft 'oh' escaped his lips but pushing that away he pulled you closer to him, tightening his grip around your waist, "I just want everyone to know your mine that's all." He pecked your lips.

"I stuck with you, I don't have a choice." You playfully shrugged, gasping in offence he crashed his lips onto yours and deepened the kiss. "Stuck with me?" he asked pulling away, making you chuckle, "You look absolutely gorgeous you know that?"

"Well it is mainly for your eyes only isn't it?" You bit you lip which sent Peter in a frenzy, once again attaching his lips onto your glossed ones.  

General Taglist: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @peaches-parker @veronica011sblog @hollanderfangirl @calltothewild @parkerpeter24 @whatthefuckimbisexual @musicalkeys @parker--peter @hollands-weasley @peterbenjiparker @ethereal-beauty-p @parker-hollandx @theonly1outof-a-billion @miraclesoflove @theliterarymess @osterfieldholland01

Parker Taglist: @starlight-starks @spideyspeaches

[normal-thoughts-official]

I.t.a (Identity thief anon)

I thought I had replied (if I did and you just hadn't post it it's 1000% fine ahshs)

I love Elliott so much!! And his crush is so cute (but also looking at the bigger picture is hilarious that I killed his would be father in law lmao) also awfullest thing pixelberry did was making me choose if I wanted to be his legal guardian or if I wanted him to be emancipated only to not have to do any of them since, you know, our grandpa was still alive...

Also I thought about it way too much for a choice (with no actual impact) in a game ahshshshhs, emotionally wise I'd have wanted to be his legal guardian but I think it'd make more sense (legally) emancipation because he would still get government help but there wouldn't be a risk of someone taking him away of in case I wasn't a successful guardian, and he could apply for scholarships more easily while I worked or something lmao I was just excited in that part.

I know there are some books in which you can be poly but the only I remember was moty (mother of the year) which was a better than expected book (to be fair I didn't goof have expectations) and in that one I started to date the three love interests <3

How far along are you in endless summer, who are you romancing, what do you think of the classmates + lila and what do you think about the story in general 👀

u hadnt replied!!!! hi i missed you!!

i didnt know u could be polyam in moty! i might try it out then, i never gave it a shot cuz i hate the idea of having kids 😬 but anything for rep i guess

and YEAH I KNOW DIDNDIDNDO i love elliot so much and him and robbie are SO cute together but damn his in law straight up tried to kill us huh. like robbie deserves better than bobert or whatever his name is and im glad to have killed him but

also okay im in the middle of the second book idnfidndidndo around the part where the arachnids show up for jake. my opinions so far are kind of messy but uhhh

grace and raj are my faves, hands down. craig is a close second

i like almost everyone except for jake because hes just military propaganda in a trenchcoat with that annoying wahh im too conflicted to care about anyone white boy complex, and aleister because he was a dick to grace. idc how much he simps for her now she deserves better than him. and Quinn is kind of whatever. like her whole personality is uwu and its kind of annoying but i dont hate her or anything

the story is such a fucking mess?? udndidn i have NO CLUE whats going on 😩 if they manage to make everything make sense by the end ill be REALLY impressed cuz damn wtf is going on

im romancing sean!!!!!! what can i say, i have a type and that type is self sacrificial idiot. he has a heart of gold and he deserves better and aaaa 😭😭 u idiot man stop putting ur life in danger as the instinctual reaction BLEASE. i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make him take care of himself for once

i also like estela a lot but im not really that interested in romancing her ig? i enjoy our moments together but my feelings for her are more casual ig

i rlly want to like lila but i cannot stand her simping for discount tony stark my god. please lord just make it end

i rlly like everyone's dynamics???? its so nice to see how the group has been growing together more and more. i love them ❤️

i LOVE the vaanti. every last one of them. my beloveds. if they tried to kill us it's cuz theyre valid

varyyn and diego are the greatest couple this game has ever given me i am SO grateful for them. i just got to their first kiss and aaaaaa it was so sweet. upset at choices for not giving me art of their kiss when i had to watch aleister and grace's but 😩 its fine im fine. holding onto hope that ill get art of them eventually but i dont want to look it up and risk spoiling myself

i actually like craig and zahra as a couple a lot too which i didnt expect. i still dont fully understand what happened between them but i really hope they work it out :(

on that note i love zahra. anticapitalist queen. cant believe she fucking hacked wall street. id die for this woman even tho she wasted tiramisu

tbh i dont wanna get off the island. like what for? to go to college? when i could stay with the cool vaanti culture and be happy and not have to worry about capitalism and have sick ass tattoos? lets just kill tony stark and stay there besties

really like how they made the MC's past a mystery? like yeah we have absolutely zero past and backstory as per usual but this time it actually is an integral part of the story that we dont know that we were born in la huerta or basically anything about ourselves truly (even tong stinky didn't so like?). and it was nice to see that being a part of the story rather than just this weird feeling of detachment from the MC

the MC is so stupid and i love him

sean and craig are gay for each other. michelle and quinn are gay for each other. i diagnose everyone with gay

i literally dont have a single theory as to what the hell is going on like not one. and i have gotten almost every clue/idol/file but like i literally have no idea how to tie all of this together. this is such a mess didndkdndkdndidn im kind of excited to see what happens because ES seems to be so popular in the fandom i can only imagine the plot is gonna blow my mind, but im kind of afraid of being disappointed

and thats all ive got so far i think? udndidjd god

[echo-bleu]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, background clace - Relationship Characters: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, shadow world politics, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, a bit of everything, Whumptober 2020, Sort Of, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Disability, Disabled Character, Wheelchair User Alec Lightwood, Autistic Alec Lightwood, Autism, Supportive Magnus Bane, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, probably, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, They get the nice things eventually, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood Redemption, Past minor character death, Past Death of a child, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome Summary:

In the wake of the Soul Sword Massacre and Valentine's death, the Downworlders of New York push for a renewal of the local Charter with the Institute, and insist on sealing it with a marriage between a Downworlder and a Nephilim. Magnus Bane, tasked with leading the negotiations, finds himself drawn to the Institute's Acting Head Alec Lightwood, who also turns out to the be the Nephilim prospect. Can they work together to make some real changes in the Shadow World relations? Will Magnus be able to find a good match for Alec among the Downworlders?

Chapter 3

The ops center is quieter than usual for the late afternoon. Alec would normally relish it, but today it just means that his on-call teams are all out, even though it’s not even nightfall. If this keeps going through the night, they’ll have to start prioritizing calls, leave anything non-urgent for the day time. Jens, Alec’s second-in-command and staff manager, has locked himself in the armory to run an inventory while Alec and Jace are stuck in the ops center with Sandra and Raj, handling the teams out in the field.

Alec swirls a pen around his finger as he listens to his main team bicker in his ear. They’re on a low-stakes mission checking on irregular vampire activity out in the Bronx, so they don’t need him unless something goes wrong. The other three teams need him even less, and they’ve cut contact for the time being, so he just needs to monitor the lines. He’s pulled out his paperwork to occupy himself, and the endless sheets of duty rosters and mission assignments are spread out over the ops table, his tablet in the middle as he tries to figure out how best to allocate his too-limited resources.

“I’m going to have to ask you to pull a double shift again tomorrow,” he looks up and tells Jace. He catches the pen in his hand to still it and swipes at his tablet to scroll down his spreadsheet. “We’re just too short-staffed. I really need to convince the Clave to send us more people.”

“You know I don’t mind,” Jace shrugs. He has his feet up on the table on the opposite side, earpiece in one ear as he monitors his own teams. Sandra and Raj are each sitting behind a computer, actively guiding their agents. “You think they’ll send us anyone before the end of the trial?”

“No,” Alec answers without hesitation, putting down the tablet. “But I still have to try. At this rate, someone’s going to get killed because of a mistake. Everyone’s exhausted.”

Jace turns away from his screen and looks at him critically. “You included,” he says. “You’re not resting enough.”

Read the rest on AO3.

[ao3feed-malec]

In the Past

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2zVE2dj

by MoonlightBreeze

After Alec and Magnus get back together in 2x20, Alec still suffers some residual anxiety from it.

Or, when Alec and Magnus have a fight, Alec is scared because of what happened the last time they had a fight.

Contains self-harm in the form of punching, non-explicit.

~ requested by an anon on Tumblr ~

Words: 2065, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Tumblr Prompts

Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood, Raj (Shadowhunter Chronicles)

Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Raj

Additional Tags: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, they both get their nice things, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alec Lightwood Has Anxiety, Alec Lightwood Has Feelings, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, Head of the Institute Alec Lightwood, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Anxiety, Lack of Communication, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Punching, Hiding Injuries, Tumblr Prompt, Tags Are Hard, no beta we die like men

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2zVE2dj

[lizwontcry]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Big Bang Theory (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sheldon Cooper/Penny Characters: Sheldon Cooper, Penny (Big Bang Theory), Leonard Hofstadter, Amy Farrah Fowler, Bernadette Rostenkowski, Howard Wolowitz Additional Tags: penny being pregnant is utter bullshat, so here is my answer to that Summary:

The baby isn't Leonard's.

While the light is still red, Sheldon leans in and kisses Penny gently. She feels an interesting sensation in her belly as his lips meet with hers, and she is hopeful that there will be a lot more kisses like that in her future.

For Sheldon's fortieth birthday, he and Amy throw a huge party and invite everyone they know. With their Nobel Prize money, they have cash to spend on this affair, which they host at a luxurious mid-century modern beach house in Los Angeles (obviously this was all Amy's idea and Sheldon reluctantly went along with it). Raj mans the grill, providing hot dogs and hamburgers, and there is plenty of alcohol available to enjoy as well--Penny makes sure of that, although she does not imbibe herself--for obvious reasons.

"Are you having fun, Mama?" Bernadette asks Penny, after doing three tequila shots in a row with Amy while Penny watches with increasing jealousy.

"Of course! I love seeing my friends getting drunk and then almost drowning in the pool," Penny says, and Bernie laughs too loudly.

"I'll toast to that!" Amy says, doing one more shot than Penny would have advised.

Kripke and Bert are in the corner of the pool arguing about the season finale of Game of Thrones, and Leonard and Wolowitz are watching some Youtube video of the latest particle physics discovery on the patio, preferring to stay in the shade until absolutely necessary.

Penny is sitting by the side of the pool, surveying the action, happy for her friends and the fun they're having. She is also trying not to think about ruining most of their lives with one small sentence, which will have to be done sooner rather than later.

Sheldon extracts himself from Amy for a few minutes and comes over to sit by Penny. They both put their legs in the water. Penny briefly touches Sheldon's toe with hers, which makes him twitch a little. Penny laughs. She knows how much he hates other people's feet.

"Happy birthday, sweetie. I hope you're having fun."

"It's not the worst party I've ever been to," Sheldon admits. "Although I'd much rather be eating Thai food at home while watching--"

"The new Spiderman Blu-Ray, we all know, babe," Penny says. She loves her weirdo friend.

"Yes, that's correct." Sheldon takes a sip of the spiked lemonade Wolowitz made. Penny does enjoy a semi-drunk Sheldon. That's how they got into this mess in the first place.

"So I suppose you haven't told Leonard yet," Sheldon says, looking across the pool at Leonard, who is now eating a hot dog while playing volleyball with Howard. Penny has never been less attracted to him.

"Oh, yeah, I told him last night and he took it really well. He can't wait to raise your baby and co-parent with you and Amy. He's over the moon."

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asks.

"Yes, Sheldon. Obviously I haven't told him yet. I wanted to wait until after this party. He's so happy right now--he thinks he's going to be a daddy and he never stops talking about it. This baby was going to give him the chance to raise a child the direct opposite of how his mother raised him."

"Why would he want to do that? Beverly is a perfect mother," Sheldon says, and Penny ignores him.

"Anyway. I'll tell him tomorrow night. Are you ready to stick with the plan? I'm not putting my ass on the line if you're going to chicken out."

For a brief moment, Sheldon puts his arm around Penny and she rests her head on his shoulder. This public display of affection is not a good idea, but nobody is watching them, and Penny can always explain that Sheldon was expressing his newfound happiness for her pregnancy if anyone asks.

"I'm ready. Amy thinks I'm going to a conference in Colorado next week and that's why I've been packing in advance."

Penny nods. "Good. But... you don't have to do this, you know. I realize this isn't how you imagined your life turning out. I can deal with it on my own."

"Of course I know that, Penny. And yes, this is not optimal. I made a vow to Amy and I planned to uphold it for as long as I lived, but things change. Now that I've won the Nobel, I find that I am amenable to other possible outcomes. You are carrying my child, and I am committed to you and the baby. We can make this work."

Penny smiles. "We can. I know we can. Have you figured out how you're going to explain this to your mother yet?"

"No. I can't even picture how she's going to react. There's no telling what Jesus is going to think of my actions but I'm sure I'll find out soon." Sheldon sighs and Penny feels the familiar ache of how their lives are going to change so drastically and how many people it's going to affect. "I have to return to Amy now. You are going to tell him tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Penny promises, dreading every single second leading up to her telling Leonard that she is actually having Sheldon's baby.

"Then I'll be ready tomorrow," Sheldon says, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. He takes his shiny alabaster legs out of the pool and walks away to find his wife. Penny watches him closely. Although she occasionally had feelings for Sheldon in the last 12 years since they've first met, of course she didn't think they'd end up together. But it feels... kind of right? She doesn't love him, exactly. Not yet. She's hoping that will come after all the guilt from cheating on Leonard with his best friend, and taking her best friend's husband from her, has dissipated somewhat. It's right there on the surface--part of her thinks she's been falling in love with him one small moment at a time for a while now--at least ever since they went shopping together and Sheldon came out looking like a snack in that black suit of his. That's when Penny realized he was way more than a socially awkward comic book nerd.

Penny gets in the pool and swims over to Leonard, who offers her half his hot dog, which she takes gratefully--she's eating for two now. Bernadette joins Howard at the volleyball net and they play together, couple against couple, not knowing that there will be one couple less in the next 24 hours or so.

24 HOURS LATER

Telling him now. Meet you outside in hour. - P

Fine. See you then. - S

It’s about 8:13 PM on a Sunday night. They just had dinner--Leonard made a lovely meal of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes, which Penny had been craving for a week. Leonard is sitting at his desk, writing a grant proposal (or something, Penny isn’t really paying attention) and listening to a TED talk. In other words, just like every other Sunday night Penny can remember in the last couple years. She has no idea what Sunday nights with Sheldon is going to entail, but she’s definitely ready to find out.

This would all be so much easier if she went with her first plan, which was to leave Leonard a note and never speak to him again. But Sheldon vehemently disagreed with that method and convinced her to tell Leonard the truth in person. Penny hopes Sheldon’s inherent goodness will rub off on her.

“Hon? I have something to tell you,” Penny says. She’s sitting in Sheldon’s spot on the couch.

“One second, let me finish this sentence…” Leonard says. Penny waits at least two minutes before Leonard turns around. “Okay! What’s up? Is the baby kicking again?”

“No, that’s not it. But it does have to do with the baby. Um, remember that night when Sheldon and I went out for some drinks and then I came home and was too drunk to, you know… do it with you?”

“Yes… of course I do. The week before is when we made that baby. And as I recall, we haven’t ‘done it’ since then.”

Penny nods. The ever-present guilt is starting to make her a little queasy. The questions she asks herself over and over, day and night, are stacking up again--how could I do this to him? He loves me so much and I cheated on him. I’m the worst wife ever. And the like. Penny has always known her morals have been questionable. In a way, she’s not even surprised this happened. Her relationship with Leonard was bound to derail eventually, just because she is the way she is. This is what she thinks in her darker moments--most of the time she’s able to at least justify it enough to make the guilt go away for a while. But that’s not happening tonight. Most likely tomorrow she'll wake up and her other dominant feeling will take over--that she deserves this baby, that her marriage has been a disaster from the beginning, that Leonard cheated on her before they even got married... you know, that kind of thing.

“Well. Sheldon and I had a good time that night. We laughed a lot. He drank more than I’ve ever seen him drink. He was telling me about winning the Nobel Prize and Amy and the problems they’re having in their marriage, and I did the same…”

Leonard looks--well, he looks a lot of things. A bit hurt, a bit confused, a bit angry. He’s going to be a lot more of those things in a few minutes.

“Why would you tell him about our issues? We barely even have any. You know I don’t want to go around telling our friends everything.”

Penny resists the urge to roll her eyes. They have plenty of issues that her pregnancy was just going to provide a band-aid for; before she got pregnant they'd fight every couple of days about both the little things and the big things. From how Penny never takes the trash out to how Leonard doesn't want Penny to audition for anything because he thought her acting days were over. They fought about that one a lot.

She doesn't argue with him on this point, though, because she's the one currently at fault here. "I know. But I was drunk, and I was in a mood. Well, something happened. Something you aren’t going to like. I made a mistake. Sheldon and I both made a mistake. When we got in the car to drive back to the apartment, we sort of… ended up in the parking lot of the Pasadena Public Library. And…” Penny doesn’t know how to finish this sentence. It’s so bad. It’s so so bad.

Leonard has started to figure out that his worst nightmare may be coming true at this exact moment. “And what? You checked out some books and went home?”

“No. It was dark and rainy and we were both drunk. One of us kissed the other. Then we got in the backseat and things… happened.”

“What are you telling me, Penny? Because surely you aren’t saying that Sheldon got you pregnant? That would be utterly ridiculous.”

Penny stares at the floor. She’s glad she already moved most of her stuff into the car so she wouldn’t have to stick around much longer. Can she leave now? Does Leonard have all the information yet?

It turns out he has a lot more to say. Penny listens to Leonard yell, and cry, and accuse, and say all the mean things she knows are true. He deserves to let it all out, she thinks. He deserves a better wife, and she deserves a better husband. They were never right for one another--just because they lived across the hall from each other doesn't mean they are soul mates. It just means they lived across the hall from each other.

While he goes on and on, Penny thinks about how she used to love Leonard at one point in her life--it seems like a long time ago, but she wasn’t always dissatisfied and bored with their marriage. She should have done something about it instead of ending up in a backseat with Sheldon, but… it happened. Things can change so quickly.

“I’m going to leave now,” Penny says when Leonard has finally run out of things to say. Leonard doesn’t argue with her. Instead, he ignores her completely, which she actually prefers. She gets her purse and a few other things from her room, and leaves the past behind.

Sheldon is waiting for her in the lobby. They hurry to her car, and once Penny has driven a mile or so, she stops at a red light. She turns to him and is surprised to see that Sheldon is smiling. Like, a real, actual, human smile.

"How did she take it?"

"Not well, I'm afraid. I believe she's writing you several angry texts or emails as we speak." Penny knows there's a lot more to the story, and that Sheldon is devastated in his own way. Amy was the first love of his life. She hates what Amy is about to go through, but there's no turning back now.

"That reminds me..." Penny says. She lowers the window and throws her phone out of it. It lands with a satisfying thud on the road.

Sheldon, without even thinking about it, does the same with his phone. Penny is shocked but delighted.

"This is the new me. The 40-year-old father of a new baby. The 40-year-old husband of Penny. The 40-year-old Nobel Prize winning scientist. I like the sound of that," Sheldon says. Penny laughs. She can fall in love with this Sheldon. This is a much different version of the 20-something she met for the first time who proudly showed her his whiteboards so long ago. This is the man she may, in fact, spend the rest of her life with--and that doesn't scare her or bore her to tears when she thinks about the prospect.

While the light is still red, Sheldon leans in and kisses Penny gently. She feels an interesting sensation in her belly as his lips meet with hers, and she is hopeful that there will be a lot more kisses like that in her future.

"Let's do this," Penny says. Sheldon nods, and as the light turns green, they drive into their future.

[facialgirl2017-blog]

Kala and Wolfgang: Why they were supposed to be “Ride or Die” (and why Love Did NOT Conquer All)

I know there is war right now among the fandom: those who loved every bit of the finale, and those of us who are bitter, angry, and feel betrayed over what happened with 1 of the 2 left unresolved story arcs going into the finale.

As we all know, the two major story arcs going into the finale that still needed to be finalized were: The takedown of BPO/Freeing Wolfgang/Revenge on Lila and Whispers. You could possibly break these into 3 sep arcs but I consider them to be 1 since Wolfgang was being held hostage and tortured by BPO and Lila and Whispers although working for their own self interests, were also working for BPO.

Overall, I think the resolution of this was good, I give it a rating of 7/10. There were a few things I was not crazy about: First, who was the chairman? When his face was revealed, he was no one we had ever seen, so why the big reveal? Second, before we could possibly find out who exactly he was and what his true motivations were, his brains were blown out. Really, we couldnt have gotten some info there, first? Also, I felt the killing of Lila and Whispers was somewhat anti-climatic. Though I love that Will/Wolfgang ended them together and I love the reappearance of Wolfgang’s rocket launcher, I was expecting or would have preferred some dramatic words exchanged first between them, some words of goodbye before killing them. Or even better, for Kala/Wolfgang to have killed Lila together. That would have been poetic. And 3rd, I felt the reason given behind Whispers zombie project, his motivations was weak and didnt make sense to me, JMHO. Though IMO what did happen wasnt the best, it was still decent.

Anyway, moving on, the other story arc going into the finale: Wolfgang and Kala finally truly being together at last and Rajan discovering the truth! Being that I am a GIANT Kalagang fan (literally my favorite tv couple of ALL TIME), I must say that I do love EVERY couple in Sense8, but Kalagang reigns supreme. And from everything I have seen on social media, they seemed to be THE MOST POPULAR COUPLE ON SENSE8. Surely Lana had known this, even though she doesnt do social media. They were also the only couple (except for Sun and Mun) that were not a solid couple still yet going into the finale. We had no worries of all the solid couples breaking up. Which in a way, is refreshing for a tv show cause so often couples are constantly torn apart and if you are lucky, put back together or always in angst. It was great that Nomi/Neets, Hernando/Lito, Will/Riley, etc never were in jeopardy. So I, like myself, expected a HUGE payoff for Kala and Wolfgang in the finale. They were the only couple that were in constant angst throughout all of season 1 and 2. And bravo to Max and Tina, for being able to keep that explosive chemistry alive throughout all 2 seasons.

Why should there have been a huge payoff for this couple you might ask me? Well, because of their character dev throughout both seasons. From the moment they saw each other for the first time, just like Will and Riley, they were in love (that is because in sensate world, some cluster mates are predestined to be together, I think so anyway) BOTH of these couples were predestined to be together in this cluster. Why was it so much more difficult for Kala and Wolfgang to be together than it was for Will and Riley? Because Kala was already about to be married to someone else, and Wolfgang was entrapped in a life of mob danger and a life of being treated like garbage by his crap abusive and violent family. Like he said in the finale, he always thought he was not worth it. Which is the main reason why he never loved a woman before, until Kala.

Kala was a woman who was afraid of herself, afraid of all the facets of herself and what and who she wanted in life. she was a people pleaser, and a very moral person (nothing wrong with that!). A person of faith (I really liked btw that at least one of the sensies was religious, though in reality more than 1 of them should be. And I am by no means a religious person, but that would have been more realistic since 95% of the worlds population is, but I digress).

These two characters could not be more opposite, but yet were perfect compliments of each other. From the very beginning, they were constantly drawn to each other while (in season 1 esp) having not much sensate connection with the others in their cluster. They each gave the other what they were lacking. And through this growing love and attraction to each other, Wolfgang was opening up to being more of the good person he truly was inside while Kala was growing more into being the brave, firey woman she truly was inside.

The only logical and expected conclusion to what was going to happen in the finale was that they would save Wolfgang. Kala and Wolfgang would finally meet in person, they would finally consumate their love in person, and after Rajan found out everything that was going on, Kala would nicely break up with Rajan, ending their marriage but probably remaining friends. But nope, that is not what we got.

At the end of ep 2x11, we had Kala finally CHOOSE WOLFGANG CHOOSE THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. She was brave, and she was totally going to tell Rajan except that Rajan didnt give her a chance to say anything and shipped her off. Never once during any episode did Kala ever tell Rajan that she loved him. It was obvious she cared for him, but we were never led to believe she was also in love with him as well as Wolfgang. Everytime she was conflicted with her choice, what she was always saying about this conflict was: choosing between her love for Wolfgang, or choosing the life and obligation she had with Rajan. Also that she doesnt like to hurt people and felt bad about hurting Rajan because he was a good man. Never once did Kala EVER say she was in love with both and that was her dilemma. Had that been the case, then I could totally understand her in the finale, choosing both. But that was not the case.

In the finale, Rajan was such an after thought to her that in the first couple of weeks they were in Paris trying to rescue Wolfgang, she NEVER CONTACTED RAJAN IN ANY WAY. It apparently didnt even occur to her, nor did she care enough to do so. Rajan had to contact her, and when he did, she panicked. He shows up, and is very understanding of the whole sensorium reveal, but now suddenly Kala does not have the courage to tell him about her love for Wolfgang? When she was going to tell him before she left for europe?

When Rajan arrived and Kala talked to him, we are left with the impression that she left out that her and Wolfgang were in love with each other. Then later as we see, Rajan seems to know what is going on, though we dont know how. Did she tell him but that part got cut from the ep. or did he figure it out on his own by watching everything that was playing out? Or did Will or Riley or someone else tell him? We dont know, but I assume he either figured it out on his own or Will or someone spilled the beans, cause in that moment of opportunity, Kala choked. This was the start of Kala inexplicibly reverting back to her season 1 self.

Rajan decides to stay and help (or more like tag along) with the cluster to help them on their mission. During this time, are we supposed to believe that Kala has somehow quickly fallen in love with Raj as well? She still never tells him that she loves him, and he has done nothing extraordinary for her to do so. The only thing I see is Kala developing more appreciation and admiration for him for being so understanding, supportive, and taking everything in stride. And Raj should be commended for that. but that is not true love. Sorry but it is not.

Kala again has the opportunity to really tell or show Raj her true heart for Wolfgang, to truly reveal her truth and herself to him. When she arrives at the chateau to greet both him and wolfgang. She could have and should have redeemed herself here, and give Wolfgang the greeting he truly deserved. But nope, cowardice completely consumes her again. But I have to ask: WHY? There is no reason for this cowardice. Rajan already knows (somehow) at this point about Wolfgang. It was nice that she hugged and kissed Raj, but then she gives Wolfgang the kiss she wants to give him via visiting instead of in person. This made me so angry I wanted to throw a shoe at the tv! (I almost did!) yes she did give Wolf a really great hug in front of Raj, but she should have kissed him as well (and maybe at this time also tell Raj adios? In a nice way, of course). But she didnt. Second opportunity gone.

After that we get no real life physical love-in between Kalagang until Kala is shot and almost dies. Finally she and Wolf kiss in real life. But Raj is there (seriously?) and she has to make him feel good and important. To me that ruined the entire intimate moment of love between Kalagang. (another imaginary shoe thrown at the tv)

Last real opportunity for Kala to find her courage was at the wedding. I really expected it to happen here. I expected there to be a romantic scene between Kalagang, a grand gesture of love for everyone to see. Nope, didnt get that. All we got was them dancing together in the distance, Kala holding hands with Raj during the ceremony, Will asking Kala what is her choice and Kala shrugging her shoulders as if this is just a silly little choice (A CHOICE SHE ALREADY MADE BEFORE LEAVING FOR PARIS) and then one of the other clustermates ( I forget who) asking Wolfgang about it and him shrugging his shoulders as if it is no big deal to him who or when Kala finally chooses! WHAT??? This makes ZERO sense! This honestly ruined the whole wedding for me. It really did which also makes me mad!

This is long so I will briefly touch on why Raj and Wolf were also out of character for this whole thing. Wolfgang throughout the season is a Ride or Die kind of a guy. Extremely loyal and will do anything for the people who truly loves. he shows this over and over. He is like that with Felix, with his mother(in the flashback)  with all of the cluster, and with Kala. He is so ride and die that he has killed several of his close relatives for justice. He pressured Kala into choosing at the end of season 2. He basically said to her “stop playing games, now or never” (not a quote from him, just the feeling behind what he actually said) and he even told Kala “pretending isnt a life” this man has NEVER pretended who he was EVER in his life. But now he is going along with this pretend threeesome? Umm no that makes ZERO sense. The love between him and Kala was so deep, they were both willing to Romeo/ Juliet duo suicide for each other, but suddenly “meh, she can stay married to Raj and I will share her on the weekends”? No, I dont think so, that completely goes against everything Wolfgang is and always has been.

And I also dont believe Raj would go along with this. Yes he has always loved Kala even though he has always known that she did not reciprocate the same intensity of feelings for him and he just went along with it anyways. But we must remember, he did try to give her an out a couple of times in season 1 and also during their honeymoon. he also even said in 2x11 that he fully understands the future of their marriage is uncertain and he is fine with that. Also, I am pretty sure that indian men are not accustomed to sharing their wives with other men. Not to mention, I think Raj has enough self esteem to want a better and more complete love from a woman for himself. And being he loves Kala so much, he should love her enough to want her to go with her true love. I honestly think he would want that. Raj would not settle for this limbo, either. He could not be happy in the short or long term, taking turns with Wolfgang for Kala’s affection and attention.

So this shotty conclusion is just so wrong in so many ways and goes against all 3 characters and their entire story arc. Lana throws all of that away that she did with these characters previously, just so she can shatter societal norms by saying “why should a woman have to choose?” If that was your true intentions all along, Lana (which is obvious it was not) then you would have written their story development A LOT differently throughout the two seasons. Kala left immediately to go rescue Wolfgang, she cared less about her husband until he showed up. She broke through blockers and sedatives to connect with Wolf, she was willing to kill herself for him, Wolfgang felt he was not worth it and Kala assured him that he was, but yet despite all of that she cant find the courage to tell Rajan I want a divorce, I need to be with the man that I love? You titled the episode “Love Conquers All” yet you contradict yourself in the finale with this story, but showing that love does not conquer all. It was not even able to conquer a silly fear of speaking the truth and letting another person down. In the end you did a great disservice to all 3 characters, but Kala in particular. You who say are a champion for strong women, made her weak, cowardice, and selfish in the end. You had her basically show Wolfgang through her actions (or lack of actions) that he actually was not worth it. Shame on you, Lana. And that is why we kalagang fans are really let down by the finale.

[queerchoicesblog]

Choices Fandom Ultimate Questionnaire

I was tagged by @helentwombly: THANK YOU SO MUCH you sweet cinnamon roll too preciuos for this world ❤️

1. Which of your MCs would win the Hunger Games?

Hmmm...that's tough. I'd say Endless Summer MC but he most probably will end up sacrifing himself 😅 maybe ILITW MC, he defeated that demon and saved his friends after all (at least in my arch xD). Or BB MC: I have a feeling that she has some sort of power.

2. Which MC is your favorite?

Endless Summer MC 😭

3. If only ONE LI (from any Choices book ever) could be transported into your real life and be your real life partner, who would it be and why? (I hope you get what mean)

I'm pretty torn between Kamilah Sayeed, Estela and Kaitlyn Liao, aka my unholy Choices female trinity so far. But since my current IRL LI is rather close to Ms Liao (and Estela at times) I'll go for Kaitlyn, 'cause she's sweet, dorky, romantic, caring and protective ❤️

4. To which character do you relate the most?

Probably TF MC. And I meanTF, when she was a functioning human being. If this doesn't count, I'll go for my sweet beanie Zack.

5. What was the first book you’ve ever played?

The Freshman and loved it. Oh the good old days are gone 😔

6. Which book have you replayed the most times?

Most Wanted. I miss my detective squad so much 😔

7. Would you rather have Hero 2 or Most Wanted 2?

MOST WANTED 2! But I'm perfectly aware it will never happen. PB talks of "hiatus" to sweeten the pill that their best book is gone because you could actually played it without spending tons and tons and tons of money for diamonds.

8. Did you like LoveHacks?

Yeah, it’s not my favourite book but I liked it.

9. Did you like RoE?

“I like party-twin and the first book is okay but it kinda dwindled as it goes on” I quote @helentwombly here. Party-twin arch was the best one in the whole series 😔

10. Which MC (in your opinion) is the most beautiful? (you can post a pic of them so we can all admire them)

Love these two ladies: LH MC and VoS MC! ☝🏻️

11. Which female character (from any book) is the prettiest in your opinion?

Prettiest...probably Eleanor Waverly, yeah. Sorry, @helentwombly, I agree with you once more xD she was just the purest creature on earth, a loving yet suffering angel that TOTALLY DESERVED MORE CHAPTERS AND INSIGHT PB I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU TO SHUT THOBM DOWN AFTER JUST 6 CHAPTERS 😤

12. Which male character (from any book) is the most handsome in your opinion?

Prince Leo: blond, blue eyes and the body of a Greek god basically. Also adventurous and easy going. *sighs deeply*

13. Which character is the most intriguing?

Estela and Kamilah Sayeed. Mysterious badass ladies who are afraid of their vulnerability ️😍

14. If you could befriend one character from any book, who would it be and why?

I so agree with @helentwombly: Raj would be the greatest BFF ever! So caring, he would crack the silliest jokes, squeezes you in big bear hugs and pamper you with food. What else do you need?

15. Which MC has the best outfits?

I like TF series outfits. I have some of them in my wardrobe.

16. Into which book would you rather be transported and live the life of that book’s MC?

Probably BB, despite the bloodlust vampires But hey, I could befriend Adam, Lily and Jax and date Kamilah, if I play my cards right! 🙌🏻

17. List 5 characters that you dislike the most

Gross rich snob Bryce (VoS), Rourke (ES) and the TJ spoiled brat trio of the Apocalypse that is currently forced down our throats and make me fall behind in my once beloved series: Beau, Nathan and Kassidy. In short I dislike rich people  😅

Tagging @kaitlynliaofan @queenaryn @roroxion @kaitloyalist @teamkaitlynliao @snowwritings/ @snowchoices @mackenzie-wolf. Sorry if you have already done it or if you’re not into tagging games 😅

[shadowhuntersficrecs]

Chapters: 10/? Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Max Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Lydia Branwell & Alec Lightwood Characters: Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood, Max Lightwood, Raj (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane, Lydia Branwell, Victor Aldertree, Imogen Herondale, Clary Fray, Simon Lewis Additional Tags: Minor Original Character(s), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes & Funerals, Aftermath of Violence, Loss of Parent(s), Family Feels, Shadowhunter Culture, Mundane Culture, Nightmares, Alec Lightwood Is Doing His Best, Clave Bullshit, Politics, Diplomacy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Raj Is Good With Kids, Alec Lightwood Would Do Anything For His Family, Implied/Referenced Infidelity, Grief Is Not Linear, Healing, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Political Alliances, Scheming, Imogen Herondale is the Worst, Valentine is also the Worst, Emotional Manipulation, Insecure Alec Lightwood, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Lydia is a Good Friend, Books are Important, communication is key, Parabatai Feels, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Gretel Deserves Better, Abuse of Authority, Someone get these kids a therapist, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Siblings, Slow Burn, Handwaving, Conspiracy, Self-Hatred, Anxiety, Child Abuse, Valentine Morganstern's A+ Parenting, Violence, Let Luke Garroway rest, Background Jocelyn Fairchild/Luke Garroway, Alec Lightwood & Maia Roberts Friendship, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai, Izzy Lightwood is Not Straight, Sibling Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Internalized Homophobia, Alec Lightwood-centric, Lightwood Siblings Feels, Isabelle Lightwood Ships Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Downworlder Politics, Good Friend Lydia Branwell, Let Lydia Branwell sleep, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, How Do I Tag, Angry Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec, Magnus Bane Does Not Have Time For This Bullshit, BAMF Magnus Bane, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Mind Games, Canon-Typical Violence Series: Part 3 of Mercy's Shadowhunters AU Mondays Summary:

Alec Lightwood is nineteen when it turns out that Valentine Morganstern isn’t dead. In fact, Valentine Morganstern is alive, well and hellbent on destroying everything Alec cares about. In less than 12 hours his entire life changes. His parents are dead, his parabatai is missing and every inch of his carefully planned future has crumbled to dust. Alec has no choice but to carry on. He will do anything to keep his family together but the process of healing is not easy and it just may take everything Alec has to give, and then some.

@bobbeedraper

This fic is amazing. It’s absolutely captivating. The depth and intensity of emotion is so beautifully portrayed here. I love the way that politics get pitted against loyalty and personal responsibility.

This fic is about survival on so many levels, not the least of which is surviving as a version of yourself that can be lived with. It’s raw and gorgeous and entrancing.