#raised on the wrong side

[dwarfman403-blog]

No no no you don’t understand

I’m BISEXUAL and was raised MORMON but have only ever felt ROMANTIC feelings for DUDES, and I’m a little autistic; so if I don’t see REALISTIC GAY relationships in FILM where I can learn how it looks and feels I’ll never find love PLEASE SEND HELP 🥺

[nacreousor]

I keep seeing takes about Whitaker being religious and I need to counter balance with my own take. Whitaker coming from a small religion heavy town in a religious heavy area and studying Theology is not indicative that he is religious, it's indicative that he has dissected religion. If people are big believers from their childhood/church, they go deeper into religious education on the church side, not the higher education side. The fact that he brought up scripture with the context of his undergrad and not personal affiliations with the church or God to Robby really drives this home for me personally. My take is that Whitaker came from a religious family in a religious area, went to church as a kid, but was more inclined towards science and medicine, and opted for that route instead. From what we know of his family and where he came from, no one would have batted at eye at him continuing to work on a farm, and based on the location, going to church and raising a family. He hasn't done this, despite it sounding like all of his older brothers have. You don't pursue God in school that isn't associated with your church; that's not what Theology is. You learn about different religions and their impact culturally. A course on Theology is going to look at religion on a global scale, not focus on one true god and holy text, and people that are way down the rabbit hole of practicing one religion don't go for this approach. Whitaker being the first in his family to go into higher education despite being the youngest in his family could make this undergrad decision a possible peacemaking gesture to his family 'yes I'm taking steps away from your traditional values, but I'll keep religion in mind', while also seeking out a broader image of religion as a whole in order to separate one's self from it. When he encounters Robby clasping a star of David and reciting a Jewish prayer (after David himself is the one who finally pushes Robby over the edge, oof ouch), then Robby tells him that he isn't sold on his own faith, Whitaker matches Robby by quoting something back, clarifying that he's pulling that from his education and not his personal beliefs either.

He quotes scripture in the context of studying, and he quotes Robby back to himself in the same manner - this is something I have learned regarding higher powers in times of stress. It's a reminder that they're here not because of what they may or may not believe in, but what they've studied and what they're here to do.

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason's days in the league of assassin's with toddler Damian (1 y.o.)

In the dead of night, baby Damian cried alone in his crib, haunted by a terrifying nightmare. No one had come to check on him and sadly, this was a common occurrence, as Ra’s didn't want Talia coddling the child too much. Jason, who had long since stopped fearing Ra’s refused to follow the old man's orders.

When he heard the baby's cries echoing down the hall Jason rushed to Damian’s bedroom. He entered quietly and instinctively scooped up the trembling child.

Jason (comforting the baby): Hey, you're okay. Don’t cry, you’re not in danger.

Baby Damian sniffled, wiping his tear-stained eyes.

Jason (rubbing Damian's cheek): Had a bad dream?

Damian, seeming to understand the question, nodded, babbling and crying. Though he was just a baby and Jason couldn’t decipher what nightmares his brother had, it was bad enough to see the child trembling in fear.

Jason: Yeah, I had a few bad dreams when I first got here. Night terrors, is a better word. They were awful, zombies, clowns, a guy in a batsuit, a demon woman, symbolic stuff. What does a baby have nightmares about?

He knew he was mostly talking to himself, but holding the scared little one softened his heart. Raising his foster father's secret love child wasn’t part of his plan for this new life, but right now, Damian was young and innocent, certainly not a brat, at least not yet.

Jason: Whatever it is, it’s got you trembling. I got you, don't mind staying here for a few minutes.

He gently wiped Damian’s tears while cradling him, pacing around the room. His rhythmic footsteps seemed to soothe the infant.

Jason: I don’t like that they just let you holler in a dark room until you tire yourself to sleep. Especially when I know those assholes are awake! Don’t say “asshole” Damian.

Damian babbled softly, staring at the ceiling. The tears hadn’t stopped, even with Jason’s comforting presence. Jason slowly paced around the room, keeping Damian in his arms.

Jason (speaking softly as he paced): I remember when I was little, my stepmom, before she was heavily addicted to drugs, used to come into my room and sing to me. She loved Elvis. I was more into Jimi Hendrix, but we got along despite this. Crazy, right?

Jason chuckled softly at the memory, though Damian didn’t quite understand why.

Jason: Sorry, went off-topic. She always sang the same song. She wasn’t the best singer, but it helped get me back to sleep... she had such a gentle singing voice. I remember the lyrics to this day. Maybe they’ll help you, or if not, you can just puke on me.

He glanced at the open bedroom door, then quietly walked backward and closed it, if he was going to sing to a baby in the castle of an assassin, he wanted some privacy.

Jason (in a tender singing voice): Wise men say, "Only fools rush in"… But I can't help… falling in love with you…

He picked up Damian’s baby blanket, gently wiping away tears as he sang.

Jason (continuing): Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you?

Damian looked up at his big brother, his expression blank at first, which made Jason pause for a moment.

Jason (softly, doubtful): I’m not the best singer. You probably—

Damian reached up suddenly, placing his tiny hand on Jason’s cheek. Though he couldn’t speak, through his soft, trusting eyes, Jason understood, he wanted him to stay and sing.

Jason settled into a rocking chair in the room, gently rocking Damian until sleep claimed him.

Jason (singing again): Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling, so it goes… some things are meant to be... Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.

Damian’s eyelids fluttered closed, his breathing slowing as the panic from earlier faded away, replaced by the comfort of sleep.

Jason: You know, I kill people. But I’m surprisingly good with kids. Is that ironic? Or am I just… an anti-hero? To be fair, I only kill the bad guys. Not you, though.

He booped Damian’s nose, making him giggle softly.

Jason (continuing to rock him): Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone this happened, and you don’t let slip that… I’m starting to like you.

He sighed quietly, accepting that he might not be able to train Damian into a little assassin of his own parents. Damian still had a chance at a decent life. Though he’d turned cold to the world, Jason knew he wanted to be there for his little brother, until Damian grew into the mischievous kid then it'd be acceptable to pick on his little brother.

Bruce's baby (Jason's days in the League of Assassians and part time baby sitter)

Jason's days in the league with baby Damian (pt. 2)

Jason's days in the league with baby Damian (pt. 3)

Part 4

[currentlyinflames]

I would like to remind everyone that will is the canonically tattooed one so the flower shop/ tattoo studio aus can be switched up a lot with this new dynamic

[fire-on-fuel]

kind of underrated how manipulative kal skirata is and I dont mean that in the "kal skirata should burn in hell" way it's just very striking to me that within the first half of triple zero he uses zey's sense of responsibility for the war to set up the corufresh op, uses ordo to prove a point to civilians (or educate, as he puts it. ordo is fine with it cause it's ordo), uses etain's sense of shame and responsibility to uphold the clones's autonomy to get her to join the op, and then uses her compassion to convince her to torture someone. obviously in all of these situations except the one with ordo (also notable to me) the other person has an out if they want to take it, but the purpose of it is to make the out look unappealing. And now I'm just getting into manipulation semantics and what counts as free will (these are all characters who made those choices anyways. minus ordo) but it feels like KT is almost playing with your discernment skills, giving you everyone's opinion on him and what that reflects on them while also putting all of kal's actions in front of you from neutral pov's and saying what do you make of this? this is important, don't forget it.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]

Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.

Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)

The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.

[autumnoakes]

i'm having trouble forming this thought into words but there's something about melinoë being raised the way that she was and being taught to think the way that she does to the point of not being able to think any other way. it's not naivety and it very much reminds me of how prejudices get passed from parent to child. i keep seeing these statements coming from the olympians saying that the old golden age was a farce and that chronos is manipulating the humans into following him (note that we don't have any living human perspective on what's happening, so we don't really know how far chronos' reach has spread. all we have to go on is what's happening in the realms of the gods and in ephyra). it's all being perpetuated by gods that melinoë has been raised to trust and believe in. i think she could be nearing a tipping point as the plot progresses, though. like i said, i don't think there's necessarily a "good" or "bad" side here, only the side that melinoë/the player is on and the side that chronos is on (plus many of the NPCs that we meet who are generally uninvolved in the whole mess). but there's also a lot that we're missing simply because melinoë is unaware of it.

[kristiliqua]

some ultrakill fans flaming people for playing on lenient/harmless is so funny to me because here i am in my little corner playing on harmless with Also 100% damage reduction (in major assist settings) because my severe anxiety cannot handle the idea of me taking any damage at all . i am wearing my propeller hat and eating my lollipop and i am having fun :3 (and maybe one day i can ease that anxiety and play without major assists)

[popdrop]

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER HOW IN THE BEGINNING, CALE PUSHED EVERYONE AWAY. You may say it's because of how "dangerous" and "trouble packed" their journey will be in the story later on— BUT. I JUST CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE MAYBE , JUST MAYBE. He didn't want them to be affected by his "curse" (side effect of WS) whether he knew about it or not. Just consider the fact that he KNOWS what will happen to them and how they'll be fighting for a better world and it'd be MUCH better if he's not there. Just in case he worsens whatever will happen.

He's such an unreliable narrator <3 the Worst Kind Ever.

[deus-ex-mona]

more like watashi yuri sengen amirite—

[queerofthedagger]

One thing I think about a lot is that when Nargothrond falls, it is heavily implied that as good as everyone perished or, if not, got captured. Like, unlike with the Fall of Doriath, there is no mention at all of any refugees removing to the Mouth of Sirion - and yet, I assume that is very likely where Celebrimbor, at least, went? I definitely think he would have fought, but clearly he survived and neither Doriath nor Gondolin really were an option for him, and I doubt even more that he would have gone back to his family.

And there are a lot of implications to all that, but maybe the one that keeps me up most is that this means he would have likely been there when the refugees of Doriath arrived, when they told of what his family did. That his father is dead. What would he have been thinking? What would the survivors of Doriath been thinking? Like, I know there were technically several different camps to some extent, but I doubt they would have been wholly separate, especially upon arrival. What kind of horror to find someone who looks just like one of those guys who just slaughtered your friends and family. What kind of horror to look like someone who just committed such horrors.

He also would have been there when the third kinslaying occurred, or at least very close to it. What an experience, to end up on the other side of it. To see exactly what might have become of him had he not foresworn his father years ago, and also to see yet again what became of his family. Like yeah, everything before/during the Nargothrond Disaster would have already been formative for him and his future choices, but I do feel even being in the vicinity of all of that would have been such a dire reinforcement of all those convictions and reasons that made him disavow them in the first place. And especially in terms of the third kinslaying, it's also why I personally really doubt that there is a chance at any kind of reconciliation with any of the brothers, whether it's his father or I don't know, Maedhros or Maglor. Like, I just don't think there is any coming back fromt hat, really, if there ever was.

[starlos-soulmate]

Love talking with a friend and discussing how a popular canon x canon ship would not actually work out. Like at all

[lalune9x]

SCTIR Side Story 117: The Time That Doesn't Disappear (1)

Warning: big spoilers for the side story plot, I guess?

How could he sulk over me not telling him about my condition, yet keep his mouth shut when it was the other way around?

Chapter translation under the cut.

---

Side Story 117: The Time That Doesn't Disappear (1)

As I stepped through the dungeon gate connected directly to the mini portal, my heart raced a little. Calm down. Don't get too excited just because this is the last time. Even if things seem like they might go wrong, don't push it. Just think, "It's okay, it might take a little longer," and move on.

I had already let the kids know I was safe, seen their faces, and spent the whole day with them. So, I engraved the phrase "safety first" into my heart once more.

I engraved it, but...

'...It feels like things are going wrong from the start.'

Where was I? I should've landed in the lobby of Sesung Guild, but instead, I found myself in a fog-filled, unfamiliar space. On top of that, I couldn't sense the kids. Yoohyun and Yerim had definitely entered the portal at almost the same time as me.

"Yoohyun~ Yerim~"

No response. Did I get separated from them? I waved my hand through the fog, then pulled out the Godslaying Spear. Black flames erupted, instantly pushing back the hazy mist, revealing the floor and walls. The ground and walls came into view. It wasn't outdoors—it seemed like I was indoors. As I intensified the flames, the fog thinned even more, revealing the interior more clearly.

It looked like I hadn't been thrown somewhere entirely different after all.

'It's Sesung, huh.'

To be precise, it was Sung Hyunje-ssi's house—the one I had blown up. The ceiling-high bookshelves, the large windows letting in dim light. The spines of the books were made of various materials, but none of them had any writing on them. The sight was a little eerie. If a world were to be consumed, I supposed this was how it might be erased. Not that we had to worry about that happening anymore. Our little Bin-ie wasn’t that much of a glutton.

With gentle flames surrounding me, I turned around. On the other side of the study, I noticed a figure sitting in a chair. If anyone were to appear here, who else would it be but a certain Mr. Sung? I took a few steps toward the figure lounging with his arms draped over the armrests, but then suddenly stopped in my tracks.

Something felt off. The way he looked at me, the slouch of his limbs, and the tilt of his neck—it all seemed strangely unnatural.

Because, when it came to Sung Hyunje-ssi, there was actually not a single person who could claim to know him better than I did. Though things were much more comfortable between us now, at first I had just been an F-rank beside an unpredictable and dangerous S-rank. Naturally, I'd had to stay on high alert, constantly trying to figure out what that guy was thinking and what he was going to do. Even after we got closer, Sung Hyunje’s unpredictability meant I never stopped observing him. If I'd written down all my observations in a diary and submitted it as a summer vacation assignment, I probably would've gotten five 'Great Job!' stickers from the teacher.

So, over time, I got to the point where I could tell things like, 'He’s tilting his head 5 degrees to the left, that means he’s losing interest,' or 'He's touching his left sleeve with his right hand, that means he’s not having fun but is willing to put up with it for a bit longer,' or 'His left foot is dragging slightly—he’s about to do something unexpected!' I’d become pretty familiar with Sung Hyunje-ssi’s behavior.

So I could tell that the thing sitting in that chair was a fake; just a shell that looked like him. For one thing, I had never seen Sung Hyunje sit like that before. His posture was off, with his back too close to the chair and his legs in the wrong position. Most notably, his hand was casually hanging off the armrest.

"There aren't many options to choose from, if I ask what you are. Are you a time fragment from before the regression?"

The thing wearing Sung Hyunje's form slowly opened its mouth.

"Correct."

"Oh, you can talk. Why are you wearing someone else's shell?"

"...My…?"

The time fragment hesitated, as if uncomfortable with referring to itself independently. It wasn't showing as much hostility toward me as I expected.

"For now, it is because this target retains most of... my… influence. The Sesung Guildmaster. Kang Soyoung would also qualify, but it is easier to borrow forms that are hazier in the current world's perception."

"Those two did remain mostly unchanged."

Yoohyun, Yerim, Peace, Director Song and most others had returned to their original positions, but Kang Soyoung and Sung Hyunje remained unchanged. And because Sung Hyunje-ssi stayed the same, Sigma and the Puppeteer couldn't go back either.

"Is it because his influence on Soyoung-ssi was especially strong? He did turn an A-rank into a born S-rank."[1]

"That's one reason, and Sung Hyunje also took on Park Yerim's distortion in her place."

".......Sung Hyunje-ssi, really."

I'd had a suspicion, and it had turned out to be true. Yerim had changed as much as Soyoung-ssi, but then had reverted in an instant.

"So he took on the distortion while taking on the role of the Ruler of Water?"

"Yes. That's why Kang Soyoung, who was connected to him, also remained the same."

…Reverting Yerim's distortion first was indeed the right decision given the situation. Since this dungeon was based on the Mermaid Queen's sea, Yerim being swayed by the time fragment would have been the most dangerous scenario. And if Yerim were my opponent, I would have hesitated to fight her. Even if she may have grown older on the outside, she was still a child inside.

'If I got hurt, Yerim would feel hurt too.'

With people like Sung Hyunje-ssi, Hyuna-ssi, and even Yoohyun, one could say 'as long as they're alive, it's okay' and charge forward.[2] But Yerim wasn't like that. Resolving Yerim's distortion had been the most urgent priority, but…

'How could he not say anything?'

I mean, there were probably reasons like him being worried that the time fragment would notice, but I was still somewhat upset. How could he sulk over me not telling him about my condition, yet keep his mouth shut when it was the other way around? There must have been some way he could've told me, so was this just his manner of making me understand how he had felt?

But come to think of it, this wasn't the first time that guy Sung Hyunje had done something like this. Right after the Gardener died, he went off and got captured by the Crescent Moon without saying a word. Would it have killed him to say "please save me" before getting captured?

I was upset for a moment because of all the grievances that had built up, but I calmed down and looked at the time fragment again. It was being surprisingly courteous. It even explained things well.

"You're pretty good at speaking. I thought you might have some intelligence since you've manipulated the system before, but you're more human-like than I expected."

"That is because intelligence comes from the accumulation of memories. The time fragments from before the regression are more precisely collections of memory. It is natural that intelligence would emerge when those discarded memories gathered together."

— 'That's right, hyung! Intelligent beings are essentially born when they develop a foundation for passing on and accumulating memories and records!'

A familiar voice suddenly burst out. Park Hayul–I was actually glad to hear from him right now!

— 'The most common form of record is writing, but there are other forms too! There are even memories built up through cannibalism!'

The voice came from much farther below than I expected. I quickly lowered my gaze to see a small, 30-40 cm tall flower walking toward me.

Sitting on the flower's head, in the middle of its round, open petals, was a tiny version of Sung Hyunje.

...What the heck?

— 'Because one needs to be able to write precise characters, fingers or tentacles are useful. Haneul said that if octopuses had nurtured their offspring, there might've been two intelligent species on Earth.'

That damn octopus again. I glared at the tiny Sung Hyunje who had appeared so shamelessly. 

Feeling my gaze, Sung Hyunje shrugged his shoulders and said, "Should I have given myself wings after all?"

"...What nonsense are you talking?"

"Because my dear partner is giving me a look as if he'll grab me and throw me at any moment."

"I'm more tempted to sew shut that mouth of yours for only ever spouting useless things. Either you don't say the things that need to be said, or you twist things around, or you laugh about things only you understand. And then you nag at me for not being honest with you? You really have no conscience."

At my words, Sung Hyunje adjusted his posture to sit more respectfully. Maybe he wasn't completely devoid of a conscience after all.

"In the future, if you're going to be kidnapped or lose your memories or arm or whatever, let me know in advance. The same goes for any similar situations. Then I'll find a way to save you somehow."

"I'll keep that in mind."

At least he answered well. Once Yoohyun got all his memories back, I would have to give him the same warning—no more running away; just talk things out. I should say the same to Yerim and the kids, too.

— 'If I give you a heads-up before getting kidnapped, will you also come save me, hyung?'

"Well, for now, yes. You've been helpful too, Hayul. But don't go staging a fake kidnapping."

— 'Hyung...!'

Park Hayul was touched and started dancing with joy, nearly dropping the tiny Sung Hyunje.

"So, what's the situation here? Are the others safe?"

— 'Yes, hyung. You're the only one who got transported somewhere else, so I came looking for you with the Sesung Guildmaster. The water has receded, but the side effect is that there's a lot of fog.'

So it wasn't just here that was foggy. The fog, based on the Mermaid Queen's sea, had made the mana flow unstable, so only the two administrators, Hayul and Sung Hyunje, could come searching for me. Yoohyun and Yerim were probably fine. Hopefully, Yilin and Coral weren't fighting again. With Hyuna-ssi and Director Song coming along this time, they should be okay.

"Anyway, it's good that we can have a talk." 

I turned back to the time fragment and spoke. 

"What do you want? All I want is to fix the distortion, return home safely, and live in peace. So let's try to settle this through conversation."

The time fragment shifted its gaze toward the tiny Sung Hyunje, looking slightly uncomfortable, before changing into Kang Soyoung's form. 

"We merely exist. Just like the past you had thought was gone, which still lingers and influences the present and future. That's all."

"That's all, huh?"

"The time fragments absorbed into people also still exert a subtle influence. Unless there is a significant trigger, they will proceed similarly towards the forgotten future; doing the same things, meeting the same people, and having the same children."

I'd heard something similar from Myungwoo and Haneul before.

"I, we, haven't changed from what we were. Only our influence has grown stronger. The distortions you speak of are a natural result of that."

— 'That's not exactly wrong! After all, the time before the regression is part of this world's timeline too. In a way, it's not so much a distortion as a potential outcome.'

That guy Hayul said something Transcendent-like. Hey, weren't you supposed to always be on my side?

"So, you don't particularly want anything? Can I assume you'll just disappear quietly?"

"As long as we exist, we naturally have an aversion to disappearing. It's more of a reflex than a conscious decision. And, Han Yoojin, we cannot disappear."

The fragment's deep blue eyes were fixed on me as it spoke.

"Because we are the future, but also the past. So long as there are those who look back on that past and sink into regret."

"...Are you talking about me?"

"All intelligent beings in this world."

"So you're saying you'll never truly disappear."

Did anyone truly exist who had never once thought, 'ah, if only things had gone differently back then'? We all had such regrets every day, even over something as small as ordering jjajangmyeon instead of jjamppong or thinking, "I should've woken up 10 minutes earlier."

I did, too. I still had regrets about the time before the regression. Even if I told myself that turning back time was the best choice, I still could have spent the remaining time with my younger brother better. We could have reconciled earlier and spent time together before saying goodbye. No, at the very least, I could have forced myself to visit one more time, called one more time, not blocked his number, and kept sending messages. Yoohyun would surely have read them all.

Perhaps it was impossible to completely shake off such regrets. After all, it was because of those lingering attachments that I had endured until now and learned to embrace those around me more closely.

I sighed deeply, my heart aching slightly as I forced a small smile.

"Yeah. You'll remain as you are, forever lingering. Because every now and then I'll look back and feel that longing. Until the very end, without forgetting."

If anything, if someone told me to forget or offered to erase my past, I would refuse.

"But we should still weaken you back to your original state. Hayul, if what it says is true, let's update the records to say we're 'purifying' the time fragments through dungeon clearing."

— 'I'll change it to 'purification.' It seems the time fragments will return to something closer to harmless, like before.'

"Good. Nothing much has changed, then. But why did you come out here to see me in person?"

The time fragment, still in Kang Soyoung's form, stumbled slightly as if unused to handling a human body. It smiled at me while awkwardly moving its muscles.

"After all, we were born because of you," it said. "We wanted to tell you about us. And we wanted to hear from you too."

Hearing it put that way made me feel a bit guilty about trying to erase them all this time.

"Well, thanks to you all coming into existence, I was able to get another chance. And thanks to that, I've made it this far, and things will probably go better from now on. So, uh... I guess what I'm saying is, thank you for being born?"

Was that right? 

The time fragment nodded at my words. "But since our time is striving to remain as it is, we cannot help you."

"If that's how it has to be, then it's okay. I can live with that." 

Since it was my–our–past, what could we do? The time fragment's form dispersed into the mist. Sung Hyunje-ssi gestured for me to follow him. It was time to complete the final quest.

---

Footnotes:

[1] I don't have context for what happened so I don't know which pronouns to use here. Feel free to tell me.

[2] Same issue; I don't have context so I don't know what the right pronouns are.

[npc-arson]

so ive been trying to 100% side order recently

[bumblydumbly]

if i see one more post about letting dunmeshi characters be “problematic” when its LITERALLY just cultural differences colliding im gonna SNAP

[justaz]

growing up and radicalizing urself then going back to watch ur old favorite pieces of media and realizing you were siding with the true villains the whole time is wild