#rafe cameron fanfi

[oddlykilledghosts]

I Want You To Like Me - Rafe Cameron x reader (Part One)

Summary: You're a pogue by choice, kook from birth. The friendship that you have with the other pogues is undeniable, no one questions their loyalty for you or your loyalty to them. So when a certain King of the Kooks takes interest in you, it's only right to turn him down. Right?

This chapter is mostly a set up of your relationship with the pogues and a set up for future chapters so it may be a little slow! Also it’s a little long haha

Word Count: 6.1k

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x reader, John B x Sarah Cameron, platonic!Pogues x reader

"How many drinks do you think I could chug before I die or pass out?" John B's voice rang through the walls of The Chateau and you rolled your eyes, chuckling a little to yourself as you tied your hair into a ponytail. You looked at yourself in the mirror, squinting, then tilting your head. Surveying yourself, you started picking at and fixing your clothes and tidying up your new ponytail. Your skin was even tanner than usual; you had spent the last couple days either exclusively on the beach or on the HMS Pogue and Pope insisted you wear more sunblock, but you always forgot to reapply it. Especially when JJ is being an idiot and you're one of the only sane, and usually partially sober, people that can reel him back in. You even had a suntan line from a choker you had borrowed from Kiara, which you decided to put back on to cover that up. Along with another one you had with you just so it was even harder to tell, which made for a pretty good look anyways.

The other Pogues voices drifted out to the other side of the house, near the kitchen and towards the screened in porch. You could almost still hear laughter throughout the house. The Chateau felt like home to you. It was comforting and almost always warm since John B could rarely fix the air conditioning that had broken a couple months ago. John B had valiantly offered for you to stay there while your parents were away on vacation. Not like he had much of a choice, in your opinion. You would’ve spent every waking minute there anyway. But alas, John B (ever the gentlemen) had helped you pack some clothes and makeup and other things you wanted with you and had set you up in the guest bedroom. JJ initially offered to share the room, with a very obvious wink and a sly remark of something about cuddling…or more if you wanted to. You all knew he rarely spent time at his own house and you had protested that he should have the room. But JJ assured you, along with John B calling him an idiot, that he would be fine on the pullout couch. So here you were. It was nice being there. It felt more like home than anywhere else.

Again, you squinted at yourself in the mirror. Whatever it was, something was off. A weird sense of deja vu settled over you and your eyebrows furrowed at your own face in the mirror. Was it the shirt? Maybe it’s the shirt. You pulled off the shirt you were wearing and stuffed your hand into the dresser in front of you, grabbing a shirt at random. The first thing you did was sniff it, checking its freshness. Seemed alright. You pulled it over your head easily and pulled at the hem so it fit you nicely. It looked good. Maybe it wasn’t the shirt. Is it the hair? It’s the hair. It’s got to be the hair. You took your hair from the ponytail and let it fall into its usual place. You ran your fingers through it the best you could and sighed. Maybe it wasn’t the hair either.

Maybe you still felt the remnants of the marsh water. You and the other pogues had gone swimming earlier in the day off the HMS Pogue and you had taken a quick shower a little bit ago. Maybe the feeling hadn’t fully washed off. Is that it? Maybe you just didn’t feel clean. That could be it.

“Y/N!” A voice rang out. “Don’t leave me alone with these idiots and get your ass out here!” Kie. You smiled to yourself. Kie was one of your first friends on the island, being a kook and all. Although you took Kiara’s side when the whole kook vs kook drama happened and the two of you delved into a friendship with the pogues, you weren’t unfriendly with Sarah. Maybe you saw the good in people. Or that it was just high school and that a year or two could change a lot. You and Sarah used to be best friends too, so it did make things a little complicated. You had considered her family. So while you would stick with Kie till the end, you didn’t put it past yourself to give Sarah a second chance. But as long as Kie was still upset over what happened, you weren’t going to cross your friend like that. So for the most part, you didn’t really hang out with the Camerons anymore. Kie was a ride or die, you would do the same for her.

You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror. Something was definitely off. You shook your head and left the room. It’s got to be nothing.

____________________________

The sun was still out but it was making its way towards the other side of the sky. You had situated yourself between Kie and Pope on one of the couches on the porch and were leaning your head against Pope’s shoulder while Kie talked. You guys had eventually turned some music on between your conversations and it was one of John B’s playlists. You hummed along with one of the songs.

You had gotten John B off the idea of drowning himself in beer rather quickly. Which was a surprise. You had almost thought JJ was going to challenge him and you’d have to send both idiots to the hospital. Those two could rarely stop from one-upping one another. Pope was usually there to run some interference though. But after the realization that the Chateau was straight out of any alcoholic beverages, it was a short lived dream.

Kie continued, “It just sucks that no one cares about these environmental damages that the community is creating by building more and more housing developments and destroying various habitats for animals. It’s not just here guys.”

You spoke up, “I think it more than sucks. People don’t care about the environment, they care about money.” You sighed, thinking about what Kie was talking about. There was a big part of you that felt sad that the wrong people were always in charge. There was only so much a couple kids from the Outer Banks could do against these big corporations.

There was a sound of agreement from the other Pogues, who knew way more than you and Kie about what it was like for people to care more about money than being good people. Even though you and Kie were Pogues, the Kooks only treated you marginally less than their actual Kook friends. They wouldn’t outright show it, but you could tell that they didn't regard you the same way they would to JJ or the other boys.

Kiara leaned back next to you and started again, “Thank you, Y/N. I just think that-”

John B’s phone pinged.

Normally, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. Kie would’ve kept talking and JB would’ve answered the text and kept on with the conversation. But John B looked at it, smiled, then put the phone back down. He tried to hide his expression but he wasn’t quick with it, and JJ just happened to be looking at John B at that moment and a fire ignited in his eyes.

JJ laughed from the seat next to him, lunging for the phone, “Who was that? Someone looking to get some John D tonight?”

John B acted quickly, standing up before JJ could grab the phone in his right hand. “JJ, does everything have to be about sex?” Pope stood up, ready to get in between the boys if he had to.

Kie and looked at each other with wide eyes and then back to the boys. John B would’ve just said if it was just a girl. JJ laughed again, “Depends. Am I right?”

John B hesitated, giving JJ ample time to grab JB’s phone out of his hands. JJ looked at it. Then at Kie. Then back at the phone. “Bro you’re hooking up with the Kook princess?”

You felt Kiara’s body shift next to you, her shoulders tensing. She didn’t say anything. John B didn’t even reach for his phone back. He didn’t try to take a peek at Kie or her reaction. You all just stood there. Like that for a second. A minute. Pope looking at you and Kie. JJ staring at the phone, almost as if it wasn’t actually in front of him. And John B looking at JJ. Then JJ spoke up again, “She’s inviting you to a Kook party. Is this…a thing?” Again, he took a sneaky look at Kie but her face was stone. She didn’t even look pissed yet. It was hard to even tell if JJ was amused by this, usually he would be but if he was, he wasn’t showing it.

Pope finally spoke in between the silence, “Were you going to tell us?”

John B reached for his phone, grabbing it out of JJ’s hands this time, and JJ let him have it. He shook his head but didn’t say anything. Personally, anything would be better than his silence. It spoke more volume than any words that could’ve come out of his mouth. The music playing in the air from the nearby speakers felt stiff now, out of place. John B didn’t even think to turn it off.

Kiara sat up, “If she’s inviting us to a party then let’s go.”

The four of you snapped your heads at the girl and simultaneously uttered confused variations of “What?”

Kiara shrugged, “Why not? There’ll be drinks that we don’t have to pay for and just think about how satisfying it will be to see the constipated faces of the kooks when we show up.” She looked at you in that moment, motioning and willing you to agree. To say something. To help her. You could see how much this hurt her. This unknown betrayal of a line crossed that wasn’t strictly drawn.

You looked away from her and towards the boys and stood up, “Yeah I agree. This way John B can go. It’ll be good. And hey, JJ?” You looked at the blond and he met your eyes. “You’ve never turned down a free drink in your life. You’ve gotta come.” You gave him a smile and he rolled his eyes, forming a smile of his own.

He didn’t have to walk far to reach you, but when he did he laced his arm over your shoulders and pulled you into him, intentionally messing up your hair. “Oh little Y/N, how you know your way into a Maybanks heart.” He looked at the group. “I agree with the girls, why not go? It’s gotta be good to show up unannounced. Pope come on, you’re with me on this right? Look at this face and say no.” JJ grabbed your cheeks and pointed your face at Pope as you made your best puppy-dog face. You didn’t know if it was effective, and it was probably quite pathetic, but eventually Pope shrugged and agreed.

Kiara then stood up next to you and JJ and she looked at John B. Actually all of you turned to John B. “What do you say Routledge?” She said. Somehow it had an edge to it. As if she was challenging him,

“You guys promise not to be assholes?”

You chuckled a little bit and said, “Ooh sorry JB, I promised other people I would be an asshole.”

JJ shrugged with his arm still over your shoulder and smiled, “For reference, I am the ‘other people’ in this instance in case that wasn’t clear.”

All of you knew you were joking. Half joking? A quarter joking?

Pope rolled his eyes, “No comments about those two, but I know I won’t. I’ve had enough Kook drama for at least a couple more weeks.”

John B switched his eyes on Kiara who sighed, annoyed, and huffed out, “No one leave me alone with Sarah and I’ll be good.”

That was enough for John B, “Everybody in the Twinkie.”

_________________________

The party was at Tannyhill, which everyone had expected, but since you hadn’t been there in forever you had forgotten how big it was. You weren’t this kind of kook. Most of the parties the pogues frequented were those at the Boneyard so you never really got a jist of just how many people there actually were. But here? It was almost hard to ignore just how many people crowded the outside of the house and how many cars were lined up and parked following up to the house. Either Ward Cameron was out of town or he was a completely different person than you thought he was.

You guys had to park quite a ways away so it was a long walk to the house and John B, Kiara, and Pope had already started making their way towards the house when you figured you had dropped your phone under one of the seats. Or under something in the Twinkie. It had to be there. It had to. Or at least that’s what you told yourself. Thankfully, JJ offered to help you look. If Kiara was in trouble, the two of you could count on Pope so it wasn’t a big deal they went in before you.

“Are you sure you brought it with you?” JJ asked from the back of the Twinkie. You were situated at the front looking under the first two seats and getting frustrated with every single second.

“I’m sure, J.” Were you? You couldn’t really be one hundred percent sure, not really. But you were sure that you were not going into a party with kooks without your phone. How were you going to pretend to text if you didn’t have your phone?

“Can we call it?” JJ asked hopefully, popping his head up to look at you.

Your shoulders slumped as you met his eyes and you scrunched up your face, “I think it’s on silent.”

He sighed and pressed his lips together, almost forming a smile, “I think you left it at the Chateau.”

You groaned, “JJ I didn’t. I need it.”

He climbed out of the Twinkie and made his way next to you outside the door of the passenger seat. “Need it for what? We’re going to a party.”

You flopped down onto the Twinkie’s seat and groaned again. “What if I get left alone? I’m gonna need the phone to pretend to text. Or even play candy crush. Something. Anything. I haven’t hung out with these assholes in over a year who even says I know how to talk kook anymore?”

JJ tilted his head at you and smiled letting out a couple laughs between breaths, “Who says you’re going to get left alone?”

You looked at him as if he was stupid. Like, duh, yes of course there’s always a possibility that you’ll be alone at a party. Doesn’t that happen to everyone? Everyone needs a back-up plan, right? “Um, me, Maybank. I do. I say that.”

“Okay well…” he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the Twinkie, closing the door behind you and locking it. “Try and get rid of me, Y/L/N. Can’t really be alone when you have a JJ attached to your hip, can you?” He engulfed you in a bear hug and pulled you out into the street, forcing you to move towards the house. The sky was slowly sinking into darkness and it caused the illumination from the manor in front of the two of you to be so much more extreme than it already was. You were surprised no one had complained yet.

You pushed him off of you playfully as the two of you walked but he kept his arms securely over your shoulders. Which is just JJ’s way of being annoying and telling you he loves you all at once.

The two of you walked like that until you stopped in front of the entrance. His arms untangled from your shoulders and he stood next to you, waiting for you to move forward. “What are you waiting for, Y/N?” He joked, nudging your shoulder.

You shook your head, staring at the door. “Nothing it’s just-” You turned towards JJ. JJ was a great person to have a heart to heart with most times, but that time is not when he’s about to go to a party. He just looked at you, waiting. “Do you think this is going to change things?”

His eyebrows furrowed, but a soft smile didn’t leave his lips, “What is?”

“This. I don’t know. John B and Sarah. I mean what about Kie?”

“Kie’s a big girl. Sometimes you have to make compromises with friends. It’s how it is. We want them to be happy, right?”

“Right.”

“Then nothing to worry about.” He thought for a second and then grabbed his hat off the top of his head and squashed it down onto yours, effectively ruining your hair for the second time that night.

“What was that?”

“Confidence boost. I am very confident and it is my hat. Seems like pretty good logic that my hat can transfer that confidence.”

You squinted at the boy. “Yeah sure. Seems legit.”

“I’d say it’s pretty airtight.” JJ opened the door for you and waved you inside. “Welcome to the Cameron residence, Y/N/N.”

You feigned a swoon. “What a gentleman!” and walked in, JJ following after you. You turned back at him once you were in and whispered, “The hat’s already working.”

And he replied, “Of course it is.”

___________________

The party was as good as you thought a kook party would be. You stayed away from where some of them were doing harder drugs and kept yourself out in the open, almost as if to hide in plain sight. JJ had gotten the two of you drinks immediately and had stayed true to his promise for the most part. For a while you guys had found a couch and had stayed there except for when you were getting refills. It was always nice hanging out with JJ one on one. You guys got to talk about much deeper stuff than you do when he’s around the other Pogues. You both found each other funny and could talk about anything and make it interesting. You weren’t the biggest partier and JJ knew this, so it was nice of him to take one for the team and spend time with you. Kiara can make friends anywhere so while she may have been pissed about being at Tannyhill and near Sarah, she was able to fend for herself in crowds. Almost all the Pogues had that miraculous ability.

But then…JJ had to go to the bathroom. Long story. Mostly about a moldy sandwich. Hold that thought. Multiple moldy sandwiches. Apparently John B hadn’t been grocery shopping in awhile and you hadn’t really noticed since you had been eating at The Wreck most days. Moldy bread. You’d think he wouldn’t have to resort to that. In his defense, he says he was probably hungover. Or tired. Or half-asleep. Or high. Really high. Or just really really hungry. He couldn’t really decide. Dumbass.

So now you were mixed in with the rest of the kooks in the middle of the party, trying to find yourself back to the couch you and JJ had been sitting at. Even if he didn’t come back soon, it was still a comfortable place to sit and you hadn’t been able to spot any of the other pogues in a while. You silently cursed JJ for leaving you, even though you didn’t want to think about what horrors awaited him in the Cameron’s bathroom.

There were a bunch of people around the couch, but a seat was still open at the end and you decided it would be better to sit next to a stranger than to stand around doing nothing. Again, you wished you had your phone. You were down a phone. But up a trucker’s hat and a cup of what was probably beer. Didn’t seem pretty even. But in your head, you were willing JJ’s hat to do its magic.

You sat down and immediately sunk into the cushions, your back relaxing and leaving the tension behind, not noticing the person next to you staring at you. Your eyes were closed and you were humming to the music again just as you had done at the Chateau.

“Excuse me.” A deep voice broke you out of the song and your eyes squinted as they opened, even in the dim light it was brighter than having your eyes closed. You looked to your right and your eyes widened. Rafe Cameron was staring at you. He looked you up and down, almost annoyed. “You’re sitting on my phone.”

“What?” You could barely hear him over the music, which someone had turned up recently.

He leaned in closer to your face, right near your ear, and you almost had the urge to scoot away from him instinctively but you stayed put. “You’re sitting. On. My. Phone.” He leaned back away and looked at you expectantly. He looked slightly bored, like this party was just another in the books.

“Oh.” You stood up a little running your hand over the cushion of where you were sitting and found the phone almost instantly. It was the newest version of the iphone that had been released and it was much bigger than your own phone. It had a hard gray case and had a nice rough texture. Sitting back down, you handed the phone back to the boy. “Sorry about that.”

You looked down into your solo cup, trying not to be awkward. You didn’t want to get up. You felt like it would be rude. And lame. Definitely lame. Sure it was his house, but it was a party and you had a right to sit wherever you wanted. According to the made up party rules that are definitely out there somewhere. Rafe coughed, dragging your attention back to him. “So you’re dating that pogue now? Maybank?”

“What?”

He pointed to the top of your head where JJ’s red hat sat comfortably atop your hair.

You felt heat rise up to your cheeks, glad that Rafe probably couldn’t see under this lighting. “Um no.” You finally answered. “We’re just friends.”

Rafe laughed and it made your stomach turn. You couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Sure, Y/N.” You stared at him. He hadn’t forgotten your name. Of course he knew who you were, it was a small island. But with his ego, wouldn’t he at least pretend to forget? It’s not like you two have paths that cross frequently. Sure, you used to be one of Sarah’s friends but that was over a year ago. It’s not like he needed to be nice to you anymore. You were a pogue. The enemy. Even his thought that you and JJ were dating would be enough to cut ties with you.

You started scratching your nails against the ridges of the solo cup, “I don’t have to prove myself to you.” His eyes trailed back up to JJ’s hat and lingered there for a second before looking away again. Then after a second, you spoke, “Who are you dating?”

Immediately, “No one.”

“Yeah okay.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“No, Rafe Cameron. I do not believe you.”

“I don’t have to prove myself to you.”

This back and forth was not good. Rafe Cameron was not a friend to you and it was no use in pretending that he was. He consistently made the pogues’ lives hell and in turn, made your life hell. “No but really, who are you dating?”

Rafe shrugged, taking a swing of his own cup. “Like I said, no one.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Okay fine, don’t tell me.” He laughed at that and scratched his eyebrow. You were wondering why Rafe hadn’t just left this conversation yet. Doesn’t he have more important friends to talk to? Or drugs to take? Or even people he likes way more than you to spend time with?

You wanted to take advantage of this side of Rafe. The one who seemingly didn’t mind talking to you. At least so far. “How’s Wheezie?” You were genuinely wondering. You had a soft spot for the youngest Cameron and just hadn’t been around in a while to actually see her. She was usually a good kid. A bit nosey. But good.

A look of surprise washed over Rafe’s face as the words left your mouth, but he hid it rather quickly. If you noticed, you didn’t say anything. He pressed his lips together to stop from forming a smile and said, “She’s good.” He didn’t say more than that. You couldn't tell if he wanted to and just didn’t want to pull away his kook mask and actually talk to a pogue or if he just didn’t care less to disclose information with you. Either way, he had already said more words to you than you could’ve predicted for the next five years. You would take it.

Then you asked, “How are you?”

Rafe looked taken aback. It was like no one had ever asked him that before. He blinked at you for a few seconds with a deer in headlights kind of look and then softened back into himself. “Good.” He didn’t seem sure. His answer was so curt, like he was trying to blow off his own response. But he moved on quickly, “What about you?”

“What?”

Rafe smiled, a smile you’re sure he’s used to get things he’s wanted in life, “I asked you how you are, Y/N.”

You weren’t really drunk, but this would be a good time to say whatever you wanted to and blame it on the alcohol later. “You really want me to tell you?”

He shrugged, “Why not?”

“Why not? A lot of reasons-”

“Just say it Y/N.”

“Okay, fine.” You looked down at your cup while you talked, instead of having to look at Rafe’s face. For some reason he intimidated you. You hadn’t had this long of a conversation since you and Sarah had been friends. He wasn’t always the friendliest and maybe you wanted to hold onto the hope that he could be. That there’s more to him. Or…he was just trying to get into your pants. Could go either way. “I just feel off today. Like something is different. I don’t really know what it is, but it’s been bothering me.” You looked back up at him, but he was just listening, staring softly at you.

When he knew you were done, he looked away and down at the cup in his hands just as you were doing seconds ago, “We already know something’s different. You’re here.” Then he leaned back against the couch and downed another sip of his drink.

Maybe he was right. The off feeling you had could be nothing. And it didn’t have to be bad. Right? But here you were listening to Rafe. Rafe Cameron.

You breathed in, “Could you show me to the bathroom?”

“Really?”

You rolled your eyes, “I’d rather not walk around your huge ass house aimlessly. It’ll take me forever.” Then you added, just for effect, “You wouldn’t want me to steal something would you? I mean I am a pog-”

Rafe was already up and grabbing your hand to get you up as well. It was a quick contact and once you were standing he dropped it immediately. He leaned into you before the two of you started walking and said, “You don’t have to overdo it, you know.”

You made a face and stood on your tip-toes to get close to his face, “With you, you never know.”

He made a face back and told you to follow him. Which you did.

____________________

The party had grown in size in just the time you had been talking to Rafe. It seemed impossible to get through the crowd of people at this point, but people moved for Rafe. You followed behind him in quick steps trying to keep up, as well as looking around to make sure none of the other pogues spotted you. You could not be seen with Rafe Cameron. The only reason you needed to go to the bathroom was to find JJ. Whatever that feeling was, it’s got to do something with Rafe. You could feel it. It was radiating itself off of the boy you were following like he had a fever. You would’ve gone to the bathroom yourself, but going alone this deep into a party when most of the participants were already pretty wasted didn’t seem pleasant. And that was if you found it yourself. You just prayed JJ was still having his moldy bread situation. You needed out of here before you did something you would regret.

Finally, Rafe pushed past a line of people and stopped in front of a door, looking at you expectantly. You knocked on the door, ignoring the looks and remarks you were getting from cutting the line. “JJ? It’s Y/N. You in there?”

It took a moment but finally someone from inside replied, “Y/N?” Your heart relaxed. You didn’t know if he was throwing up or…and you didn’t really want to think about it.

“Yeah. Um…I think I’m going to head home. Can you let the others know?”

“Yeah…” Throwing up. Definitely throwing up. You could picture him wrapping himself around the toilet seat. “Do you need the keys to the Twinkie?”

“No I-” You couldn’t take the Twinkie. The other pogues still needed it to get home. It’s not like they could all walk home from Figure Eight. You let the words slip out of your mouth before you could think about them, “I’ve already got a ride.” You tried not to think about JJ throwing up. But judging from what you could hear, it was hard not to. “Do you want me to come in there?”

“No!” Then, “No that’s okay, Y/N. Thanks. Let us know when you get home.” He either already forgot you had left your phone at the Chateau, or was counting on you getting there and reaching them once you had it again.

Before you could get too far from the door, Rafe grabbed your arm and turned you towards him. You were already a couple yards from the door so JJ wouldn’t be able to hear you at this point, especially not with the party, and especially not in his state. “Who’s taking you home?”

You stood confused for a second, quickly answering with, “No one. What are you talking about?” Rafe looked at you, then back at your hat, then at you again. Realization washed over you in an instant. “I’m gonna walk.”

Rafe scoffed, “No you’re not.”

“It isn’t even that far. My house is on Figure Eight too.” You technically lied. While your house was on Figure Eight, it wasn’t where you were going. You were going back to the Chateau. And you had no idea how long it would take to walk back there.

“No one has been at your house in a week, Y/N.”

“Um, how do you know that?”

“You think people don’t know you’re staying with Routledge? They think you’re sleeping with him. And while we both know you’re not, thanks to my sister, it doesn’t stop them from talking. It’s a small island, Y/N.”

“They can think what they want. What are they, jealous? I’m still walking.”

“Let me drive you home.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself. I’m not letting you walk home, Y/N.”

You stared at him. “We’ve both been drinking.”

“How much did you see me drink? I had one.”

“That’s really believable, Rafe.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“What’s in it for me?”

He threw daggers at you with his eyes. You were getting pretty tired anyways. There were only so many bad things that could happen with having Rafe drive you home. You finally decided, “Fine.” It was better than nothing. Much better than walking, that’s for sure.

______________________

Don’t get things confused. Rafe didn’t open the car door for you, or even the front door of his house for that matter. Or check that you had your seatbelt on before starting the car. Or even make sure that you didn’t forget anything at his house. He wasn’t a knight in shining armor, but he was doing his best at trying.

The first part of the car ride was quiet. And then suddenly, it wasn’t.

With no one around, the air surrounding the two of you was different. Something in the air had shifted and it laid itself comfortably around both of your shoulders. That feeling you had from earlier…that shifted too. It transformed into something you wanted. And Rafe was still at the center of it. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol, you didn’t really remember about how much you had consumed, but it didn’t really matter to you at that point. And you didn’t know what it was that you wanted either. It was just there. It could’ve been anything. A single word. A thought. Him plowing into a light post and dying on impact. But you knew at the center of it was going to be him. You could feel it. Whether or not it still felt bad, you couldn’t tell, wasn’t important anymore. It still radiated off of him, buzzing around his body.

You both talked. First about golf (on his behalf) and boating. Then fishing. Then parents. Then Sarah. Then Sarah and John B. You avoided the topic of each other’s friends in other regards. It was an obvious decision both of you had made. You didn’t want to ruin the conversation. You got to know more about Sarah and John B’s relationship. Obviously Sarah had been more open about her relationship with him than John B had been with her. And even though it hurt your feelings to be hearing it from a third party, you knew it was better to process without being mad at John B while he was in front of you.

It was weird how much more willing he was about talking when there wasn’t a crowd of people around. How those expectations floated away and the tension usually around his shoulders loosened. You didn’t want to like it. But you did.

“You know, this would normally be nice. I would fall for a guy like you if you weren’t such an asshole to my friends.” You joked. Were you joking? You sure hoped so. The words had just slipped out. So easily said. You looked out the window, your eyes following the skyline, hoping he would ignore what you had said and move on.

“You ever think that if you weren’t a pogue that would’ve happened?”

You sat up straighter and looked at him. The words vibrated in your brain, speaking again and again over one another all at once. “What?”

“I don’t mean you falling for me. I mean us. And then…”

“And then I became a pogue.”

“Right, yeah.” His hands on the wheel had a harder grasp then before and his knuckles were almost turning white. He pulled into the Chateau’s driveway and parked in front of the small house, leaving the car running. But you didn’t get out. And he didn’t give you any reason to.

“Yeah. I guess I did.” Heart hammering in your chest, you willed it to slow down. You were Sarah’s friend, of course you had been ‘“in love” with Rafe Cameron. It was like a Kook right of passage. You’re sure the only outlier had been Kie. The thing was, at the end of your friendship with Sarah, it had started becoming less and less one sided. You hadn’t noticed right away, of course, but you had definitely thought about it afterwards. You and Rafe had been getting closer. He started being nicer. He started caring about what you would say. He would talk to you while you waited for Sarah. He would bug you and Sarah a little more than usual on sleepovers. Of course you thought about it. But you thought that was gone. So gone, that even you had begun to forget about it. You thought he had too. You never thought he would bring it up. Ever. Especially now.

Now, both of you were looking at each other.

“You ever want it to happen now?”

Your heart stopped.

“Do you?”

He leaned forward.

You leaned forward.

Your lips were about to touch and Rafe whispered, “Yeah. I do.” Then crashed his lips against yours.

JJ’s hat fell to the bottom of the car as it tumbled from your head.