#radio regine

[radioregine]

-> finally finished my zine for 'all the small things' on @zinebash ! concept: little piano riffs to vamp 'til infinity (+ qr code links to mp3 demos!)

this was a blast to work on. i was motivated by a need to share some of the short piano riffs i've written that haven't been developed into full songs/pieces. my design inspo: all the illustrated method books i've used to learn & teach music over the years.

i've submitted this zine in the correct orientation for archive on the zinebash blog, but anyone who would like a printable version rn can find it on my drive here (just fold & cut like you would for any traditional 8-pg letter-size zine) xx

more things like this to come!

[cohendyke]

can we ever get away from the sprawl…… 😐🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

[kaybreezy3000]

Bad Things (Five Hargreeves/Reader)

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.

Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho.

(Chapter One and Chapter Two Post)

Summary:

Having been left in a new world with nothing, his mental state growing more and more dangerous, Five Hargreeves finds something he feels will keep him from going off the deep end but just like in so many things he thinks that are wrong, the fact that he thinks this already proves he has.

Note~ When we are in Five's side of things, Reader/You will be referred to as 'her/she/the girl.'

~Characters: Number Five, Dolores, female Reader insert, Klaus, and Diego

Warnings and tags: Mental disintegration, psychological trauma, effects of isolation, masturbation, non-consensual voyeurism, explicit sexual content, bondage, POV altering, touch starved, obsessive behavior, inanimate object love, and many other sexually deviant themes all mixed with a lovely twist that you will hopefully enjoy...

Chapter One: Dark Side

Taking the stairs since the elevator is broken and he can no longer teleport at will, Five ambles, step by step, up to his apartment on the seventh floor. For a young man, Five feels so old and not just mentally like he actually is at the cognitive age of sixty. 

With no end of world event in the foreseeable future, as incredible as that is, living in Reginald Hargreeves’s ideal version of the world has left Five with next to nothing.

As far as the world’s concerned, Number Five Hargreeves is dead. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing because Five doesn’t want people to know about him being back, but it is a problem if you’re not dead and you need to find work to feed yourself.

If not for Klaus’s help getting him fake ids and a shitty job doing data entry in the basement of a huge office building, Five wouldn’t even have a roof over his head. 

Five’s polished black dress shoes sidestep around piles of trash as he listens to voices of people screaming and yelling at each other behind the worn and dented doors he passes on the way to his own.

He does not live in a nice building or a nice area of the city. His low-income housing is a far cry from the life he’d once lived behind the secretive walls of The Umbrella Academy. His childhood home still exists, though neither he nor any of his siblings are welcome there.

In the new world of Sir Reginald Hargreeves, the status quo remains as it was before, with most having very little, while a very few have a lot. This time Reggie himself has a lot more.

Nearly half the buildings in the city’s skyline bare Five’s adoptive father’s name, but it would do him no good to go to him for help. Luther did, and not even getting allowed to see their dad face to face, he got thrown out on the street by security guards in front of the glamours monstrosity known as The Hargreeves Internation building, which is Reginal's current residence and seat of power.

In this world, the relationship between the world-renowned inventor and his remaining adoptive children was severed years ago, just as it was in their real timeline.

Most of Five’s siblings had places to go though, and that was in part how it was so easy for them to walk away. They still had their various places they crashed at or rented.

For all Five knew, it sounded like Allison still had her life, including her daughter back, but besides that, he knew nothing about her. After turning on them, she didn’t look back. Like with her and most the rest of his family, it had been radio silence when it comes to communication with him since the day that they walked away to move on with their life.

As much as Five needed it in that first year, after everything their father did to them, he vowed he’d never go to him for help again, so he remained dead. 

After carefully traversing the disgusting hallway that is the only way to the place that he calls home, entering the one room flat, Five is greeted with the polluted smell of city air blowing in from the window he left open.

He sees Dolores waiting for him.  She is still tucked in under the blanket on his bed, just where he left her.

‘I am so glad you're home! ’ she brightly chirps.

Other than her and the sense of love and radiating warmth that Five creates out of her, there is nothing here for him. Five has no one.

There is nothing of color, or personal flair or tasteful decor inside his residence. The furnishings weren’t even picked by him. They were discarded here. They are faded, old, and beaten and used, just like him.

Five feels ancient and worn, but physically he is not. His costly tailored suits are fitted to perfection, and they only make him stand out even more in stark contradiction to everything else within his personal space.

“Hello, Dolores.” 

His reply is flat and lifeless, but he can’t help it.

Terribly thirsty, Five crosses the room, moving to his kitchen. He reaches up, taking a milky looking etched glass out of the cabinet, then he places it under the facet at his sink.

Five took the subway most of the way home like he always does, but he still had to walk six long blocks after that. He tips back the entire glass of water he just poured, chugging it in a matter of seconds. He can’t help the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth when he thinks about what he did for his family and the heavy cost he’s paid for it. No matter the amount of time that passes, it never seems to make his resentment fade.

Since being abandoned by his siblings in Oblivion Park the night their lives were given back to them by Allison and Reginald’s collaborative effort to fuck them over, Five has been dealing with the repercussions of his many mistakes and doing it alone. It has taken less than two years for Five to age from a scrawny pubescent thirteen-year-old, to a man in his very early twenties. In this utopian world, The Commission is no more, and the treatments they gave him back when he was theirs have completely run their course and are no longer unnaturally crawling through his body keeping him from aging.

After being plucked from the apocalypse, The Handler wasted no time adding to her strict requirement that he worked exclusively for her despite the fact that his contract didn't say that. She informed Five that since she was the only reason he was saved, not only was he hers, and not just in an advisory capacity, unless he’d prefer to die alone, he’d be undergoing various improvements. Not thinking what that meant, being all that mattered was that he saves himself first so he could save everyone else, he agreed. 

The very day he got picked up, after that conversation and being treated to his first real shower in forty years and a real meal that he embarrassingly devoured like the starving man he was, he foolishly started to think things were actually going to be okay for once. Then, with that silly notion still tickling at his brilliant yet still somewhat childlike mind, things changed very quickly.

The Handler informed Five that he was scheduled for operations starting immediately. When he nervously declined, saying he didn’t want them, she tartly replied that she’d be happy to take him back to his wasteland and cockroaches, and that’s when Five realized he held absolutely zero power in the hasty agreement he’d made.

Through her perfectly fluid, red lipped charm, The Handler laced every word she ever had for him with contempt and malicious intent as she continuously threatened him with thinly veiled cruelty. Terrified as if he were a helpless child, though schooling his wrinkled features not to show it, Five followed her like a lost puppy, sickness from the amount of food he’d just eaten adding to his terror as they stripped him naked, then strapped him down to an operating table. 

With little explanation other than adjustments were often made, especially to older recruits, Five fought every instinct not to blink himself to safety as he impotently watched the room fade away from the sedative being injected in his arm.

Even if he had blinked or could have at that point, there was nowhere safe for him to go.

Waking in recovery, at first, Five didn’t feel any different. He was extremely sore and bruised, but not different. Not till later was he told he wouldn’t age, being that he’d been given a treatment that would prevent it for many years to come. When it started to wear off, and that would be based on factors they didn’t make known to him, he’d be given more, thus allowing him to continue his service for them indefinitely even though he’d only agreed to a five-year contract.

Five realized that now that they had him, they weren't going to just let him walk away, but still he held on to the hope that he'd figure out how to get back. Defiantly he marched on thinking he'd get the better of them.

Their special therapies made him stronger, more resilient, and he even healed quicker because his metabolism was working much faster than it was before. It all seemed like a good thing.

Five wanted to live.

He had to figure out how to get back to his family and save them and everyone else. He needed time, just a little more time and he’d have it. He was finally strong, not sick, not starving or fighting everyday just to make it to the next.

This was good.

Only it wasn’t.

There was more they did to him that day, only he didn’t know about it till later.

When asked if he could perform the tasks required to work for them, Five had confidently said yes. He told his recruiter that he had killed before.

Through their missions as children, the idea of killing was something that never made him think twice because it was all in the name of good. They were the heroes. Dad had told them they were born extraordinary for a reason. They had a purpose. 

Five always thought that the purpose was to help people. Later he realized that was very naïve of him to think because Reginald only had them on missions that benefited him in some way. They did not go around saving the world from the everyday tragedies that were always waiting around every corner.

Not till they ended up in the Sparrow's world and after Reginald drained them to nearly the point of death did Five realize the purpose of them being born the way was so they could be used like extraterrestrial batteries to fuel the reset of the universe. 

Just like with The Commission, everything with Sir Reginald Hargreeves was done for a reason and those reasons held many gray areas.

As months passed and his training with his new employer completed, Five found out just what it meant to work in corrections for a time preservation organization whose goal was to maintain what they felt was the generally accepted timeline. Human life meant little to nothing to them on a one-to-one scale. That meant more death. Lots more death.

Each time that Five pulled the trigger or had to take someone’s life, watching the color fade from their purple oxygen-deprived flesh when he squeezed the life out of them, he told himself it was all to get back. When he got back, he’d figure this all out. It would be okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Neither was Five. 

Along with their other thoughtful enhancements, The Commission gave him something that would never wear off. By the time he finally was ready to make the enormous jump through time and space to go back to his family, Five was not the same person. He hadn’t been since he woke up on that operating table over four years before. That was because while he was out, they blended his DNA with that of several well-known notoriously brutal serial killers, and it was all in the name of making him a better assassin. 

Five had become mercilessly cold, and not the way he was as an arrogant child who thought he was better than everyone. No, this near emotional opposite of snobbery and having any sort of compassion for his fellow man was different.

In four years, he’d killed so many times he’d stopped counting. In the beginning Five still felt it, the remorse, and the nausea when he thought of what he’d done. He’d break down in fits of tears and shuddering sobs when he was alone in his tiny Commission assigned apartment, nearly suffocating from the weight of his shame. 

They were killing innocent people and he let them turn him in to the deadly weapon they were using to do it.

By the time Five was done, his mind had altered how he processed things. It happened in part because of the alterations they made to his DNA, but it was also his own survival method, allowing him to continue; to keep waking up and to keep fighting for what he had to see through to the end.

When The Handler gave him a job as she ran her finger condescendingly across his cheek in that wicked way of hers, it let him know that he was nothing more than her pet and her vicious executioner. Five accepted it. He even relished in the peaceful quiet of death and the simplicity of delivering it so efficiently.

The Handler was extremely pleased at how she’d manipulated him so easily. Five knew that, but even knowing he was being used, Five was proud of himself. He savored her praise like the lost child he still was inside. Even old and gray, Five was still the boy who longed to be noticed and loved.

When Five took out the board of directors, he’d done it for her, but he’d also done it for himself. In that moment, his mind was on another level of depraved, finding joy in the sick pleasure he felt as the blade of his ax sliced through their flesh and the spray of the warm blood spattered his face.

Even before that happened, Five had lied to Luther when he told him he didn’t enjoy it and that’s because he was trying to pretend that he was the person he wished he still was.

Even as he lied, Five's words came out lack of any emotion, dead and toneless. Luther didn’t seem to notice. Like the rest of his family, they didn’t know him anymore. They had no idea how different their dad's Number Five had become, and they didn’t seem to care to know him, though all Five had ever wanted was to get them back.

Five was aware that killing was one of the only things that made him feel alive, but he was too focused on trying to save the world to dwell on it. Everything kept falling apart and with more important things on his mind, he simply didn't have time to think about it.

Now there was time. 

Turning from his sink, Five walks back to the sole armchair in the middle of the space that serves as his living room. He slips off his black suit jacket, draping it over the back. 

‘I missed you,’ Dolores says, her voice in his mind so hopeful. Five glances her way but can’t keep her eye.

His reply comes almost too quietly to hear. “I missed you too.”

Purposefully avoiding her, Five wanders over to his small kitchen table. He didn’t even bother to turn on the light when he entered his apartment. This entire time it’s been dark, save for the dim light filtering in from his two small windows.

Pulling out the single chair, he sits down on the cracked vinyl cushion, dropping his head in his hands as he thinks about what he is doing.

Looking up after a minute of trying to get his head straight but failing, Five’s eyes train on the widow in front of him. His nicotine yellowed curtains wave gently from the air moving in. Beyond his window, across the alley, the occupant of the adjacent apartment is home. Five knew she would be, that’s why he left the lights off. It’s also why he left his window open. 

He can hear her voice. It’s faint as she talks on her phone, but Five can hear it and make out parts of what she’s saying. 

She’s talking about work like she often is.

The girl comes to the window dressed in her uniform from the job she works at during the day. She dumps the water from her watering can in the flower box attached to the sill.

Five knows that she can’t see him, but he doesn’t move a muscle anyway. He holds his breath.

She’s so close.

He could almost touch her.

Five can see her hair flutter in the wind before she laughs at something the person on the line must have said, then she leans back inside after plucking off a few dead buds, flicking them to the ground below.

The girl is young, similar in that she’s not much younger or older than Five's physical age. At his mental age, she is not someone he should be interested in. She is not someone Five should be watching like this, not that he should be watching anyone, but like so many things about himself that can’t control, he is interested in her.

Everything about her is animated and full of life. 

She’s the opposite of him.

Five is almost completely empty and deeply numb inside.

His fascination with her is in part because of that. He’s aware of this on some level, but he also realizes it’s for other reasons.

Bad reasons.

The immorality of doing this is almost no more than a ghost in his mind at this point. The more it happens, the less Five cares that it’s wrong.

Everything about him is wrong so why torture himself about one more thing?

With a dull, lifeless expression washing over his features, Five continues staring out, analyzing her every move as she moves about her small apartment. 

‘You can’t keep doing this. You need help,’ Dolores warns sharply, the same way she’s been saying it since he started this, the same way she says it every night. 

“I don’t need help, Dolores. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine,” Five grumbles back, not bothering to turn towards her, or finishing by lying to her again, telling her that it’s just a diversion, and it’s nothing more. 

Normally, when he comes home, Five would feel something when he sees the long-time love of his life. He still does, but the more he watches this girl, the less he’s been able to pretend with Dolores like he always has. It disturbs him but he can’t stop.

‘You aren’t eating enough, and you didn’t sleep again last night. I am so worried about you. I love you,’ she adds with that sound of unsuppressed fear in her voice that’s been getting worse and worse when Five comes in late, zombie-like after being gone at work all day and then wakes up acting almost exactly the same way.

Though it hurts him to do it, Five ignores her, pretending he didn't hear. Brushing the curtains aside even more, he lets himself become fully engrossed in the life across the alley.

Not long after being left by his family, Five had gone to Dolores, finding her standing tall on her pedestal in the used clothing store. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t take her then, that didn’t happen till later. He tried so hard to be normal and he knew that having her with him wouldn’t help in that endeavor.

After months of hardly hanging on, sleeping at Viktor’s some nights, on the streets others, then finally scratching enough pennies to get by, Five finally got his own place. Here in this hell hole, Five found that his new chance at living a real life was not at all what he’d thought it would be.

This time the idea of retirement and hitting the road to find his next big ball of twine left Five unbearably uneasy. He couldn’t let himself give into the childlike notions he had before.

Five had nothing. He couldn’t retire. Even if Klaus had wanted to drag him along to find their birth parents or something else pointless again, Five wouldn’t have let himself be tricked into it this time.

Last time that happened, he’d had this strange glimmer of hope light up his heart. He hadn’t felt that in so long. It was like getting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was viciously stripped from him again by impending death taking everything and sucking it into the mother fucker of black holes. 

Five was left in the dark again.

Now Five found himself feeling as alone in a world filled with people as he did in a world alone. He couldn’t figure out how to fit into society and that humiliating failure had him withdrawing inside himself even more. 

He tried to hold on to his usual anger, pretending it wasn’t his fault but even that failed him because he knew on every level that it was his fault. 

The isolation finally became too much for him, he snuck into the back room of that department store where Dolores lived. Not till the shop closed did he come out of hiding and steal her out of there, long legs and all.

She’s been with him again ever since, providing the love and comfort she always has. Only until one night, when Five saw the girl next door, Dolores had been enough to keep him satisfied and not feeling so alone. Since discovering this girl, a dangerous and obsessive pattern has developed. 

Every night when Five comes home, well after dinnertime, he leaves the light off so he can go to the table and watch the female occupant of the next building. She rarely shuts her blinds, and when she does, it’s not all the way. She may think nobody lives across from her because Five is gone all day and at night, even when he’s there, it looks like he’s not.

She may not care if someone is watching her, and that idea alone helps Five justify what he’s doing. That flawed perception of things is also making it easier for other thoughts to invade his already very fractured mind.

It started innocently enough. Curiosity mostly. She was pretty. Five told himself that it was normal to be drawn to beautiful things. She held odd hours, but she was almost always home for a few hours before bed when Five had nothing and no one else other than Dolores. To him, it felt like it was on purpose.

She’d either be home already or he’d get to watch her come in from one job, change for another, eat, shower, and go again. She’d water her flowers that hung in a box outside her window and then Five would get to be even closer to her. She’d even leave her windows open most nights, and Five would do the same, furthering the connection he feels is growing stronger with her.

Five believes that he knows this girl on an intimate level. He knows her name and where she works, and many other things about her.

This relationship is becoming real to him; as real as it is with Dolores.

Stepping out of what Five has determined is her bathroom, the girl bends down to pick up the towel that just slipped off her head. In doing so, Five gets a much better few of her ass that’s only covered by her very small underwear. If she’d just turn around, he’d see her breasts. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, “please turn around, for me.” 

She doesn’t, but Five’s right hand moves between his legs anyway. It always goes something like this. It starts as simple, silent watching, then as he justifies his actions with things that are entirely imagined, Five’s already defunct rationale dissolves completely. 

Five rubs his palm over the tip of his partial erection as it sits in a raised silhouette covered by the thin wool material covering his lap. Reacting to the pleasure of his own hand, Five spreads his legs wider, his fingers better working the hardening length as his lips slowly part to better accommodate his heavier breathing.

Five knows he could simply watch porn to take care of this perplexing and intensifying desire to be with someone real. It’s not like he’s opposed to it, it's just that this private show is for him and only him. This is special.

In his mind, the more he watches, the more he feels like this girl is part of his life, and that is the thing that he needs the most even though he can’t see the truth of it anymore. Intense denial and the refusal to see that he needs help, all comes from years of using this pattern to survive. It was even this way when Five was a child. Now it’s much worse and it’s fueling this fantasy, making him blind to the reality of what he is doing.

Five spends most of his days in a blur without sensation, existing but not living. But, deep down in a place he can’t open again, Five longs for something that he's only ever allowed himself to dream of.

Now, after everything that’s happened to him, Five is so broken he doesn’t know how to be with someone real which is making that dream feel impossible. He tells himself that it never really was possible; he's always been broken. This is all there ever will be. Just the idea of trying to open himself means letting someone inside and risking them seeing what he really is, and he can’t let that happen.

Five believes that he is nothing more now than a cold-blooded psychotic killer, living a meaningless life.

He can’t escape what he is, and he can’t go back to change it.

There is no one that can help him, and no one that would want to help him if they knew the truth about him.

This, what he is doing with this girl, is easier. It’s his only option. Five thinks he’s in control of it, just like with Dolores. Watching and touching himself like this, it’s enough. He won’t do more.

Five craves control and with this, he has it.

Now that he has her, Five is not alone. She is real, living and breathing. Five can even imagine the soft feel of her skin as he runs his hands up and down her smooth looking legs. He can feel her warmth on him, rubbing against his cock as he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her in a dominant yet affectionate embrace.

Wanting to tease her, Five smiles a little and says, “I bet you just couldn’t wait for me to get home. You love me, and you love it when I do this to you, don’t you…”

In Five’s head, she giggles a yes.

The girl flips her head down, blow-drying her locks. Again, the view isn’t bad. She dropped the towel around her and put her bra on while inside the bathroom where Five couldn’t see it. He didn’t get the full show he’d been hoping for, but she’s still a sight in her matching set of very feminine undergarments. Five can feel his hands roaming over her, the delicate filigree stitch of the lace fabric the only thing keeping him from having all of her.

Teeth studding into his lower lip, Five unzips himself, pulling the heat between his legs free so he can grip the girth tight. Heels digging into his linoleum floor, his lips twist with a dark delight as his eyes narrow. 

She is all his.

The girl flips her head back up, straightening herself as she shuts off the hair dryer and starts putting on her makeup. Five imagines himself shoving her up against the small, cluttered counter in front of her.

She drops her head back against him, moaning his name the moment she feels his bare flesh pressing against her in that way that means he's seeking more than just to rub himself on her.

She likes that too, but Five knows that she wants all of him tonight.

Licking his lips, his eyes trained on her body, Five’s voice comes out sweetly menacing. “I am going to fuck to till you scream.”

She arches into him again.

Five’s hand works his cock, spreading his pre-cum under his fingers, but it’s not enough to let his hand slip and slide and he doesn’t care. He likes to jerk himself hard and with no regard for being gentle about it. Pain and pleasure are the only things that make Five feel these days and this will give him both fixes.

Five desperately wants to feel.

“I love your perfect tits,” he grates out through clenched teeth. Then, in his head, he leans over, biting into the soft flesh of her shoulder as he suddenly fucks up into her from behind. He’s railing her hard and fast, and in his mind, she loves it as much as he does.

Or maybe she doesn’t and that’s exciting too even though Five knows that is wrong. It really doesn’t matter, because it’s up to him to decide, just like it always is with Dolores. With his cock in hand as the muscles in his calves flex and burn while his heels squeak across his floor, it’s all up to him and him alone how he finds his pleasure. 

Five is mentally and physically free to be the vile creature he is with no judgment and no fear of rejection. 

A thin sheen of sweat on his brow, Five grunts as he aggressively pumps his cock. His ass cheeks squeeze and contract as his hips jut upwards into his own hand. 

When the sound of the girl’s ringtone plays out, sending an upbeat song blaring, she drops her mascara on the counter and picks it up. Whatever the caller tells her, abruptly causes her to alter her usual nightly routine. Normally she’d be home for another hour getting ready, but instead, she hangs up, comes out in her bedroom area and haphazardly throws on her clothes and rushes out the door, leaving Five literally hanging. 

Hanging on to himself that is, with no more eye candy to get off on. 

The moment she’s gone, the reality of what he’s doing threatens to swallow him whole. Just the idea of having to face it has Five’s hand slowing and his heart clenching in the start of a panic attack.

No, no, no, no…

“I am not-" Five’s words stick as his mouth fills with the thickness of his mortifying disgrace trying to choke him.

His hands both come up, yanking at his tie as if it’s the thing stripping him of his ability to breathe.

Five feels like he is drowning. His once revered mind feels like it's breaking in two as it's being flooded with shame and hate.

He does not want to be this person.

‘Five, it’s okay.’ Dolores calls out to him, trying to help bring him back from the dark surrounding him. ‘I am here. We will figure this out! Please, sweetheart, just come to me. It will be okay. We can make it okay again.’

Dragging himself out of his chair, Five goes to Dolores. Once next to his bed, with blurry eyes looking down at her, he kicks off his pants and underwear, then rolls himself over on his side, burying his face against the cool hard skin at her neck.

“I am so sorry, darling. You are the only one that has ever loved me… I am so sorry I am doing this to you. I hate this,” he cries, the air heaving out of him as he reaches down under the blankets, taking himself in hand again. 

With more wet gasps, his free hand runs soft and tenderly up and down under Dolores’s blouse, trying to show how much he loves her in the way he handles her painted flesh. Five whispers apologies and words of love as he finishes himself, part thrusting and part still using his hand, while moving himself up against her solid and unforgiving leg.

Five may be laying with the mannequin that is the loyal love of his life, pouring his love out to her, but in his mind, images of the girl across the alley play over and over again.

Chapter Two: I feel So Close

Like usual, the next morning, Five finds himself awake way too early. He hardly slept again. It’s hours before his alarm goes off for work. He is bare assed with only his dress shirt on, laying with his face settled on top of the unforgiving shape of Dolores’s hard chest.  

Drowsily stretching his legs under the blankets, he cuddles in tighter, unwilling to open his eyes but also unable to turn his overactive brain off. Then, as sleep further evades him, he begins to remember what happened the night before.

Five’s hand glides up Dolores’s arm, coming up to her face so he can gently run his fingers across her cheek the way she likes.

‘Good morning, Five ,’ she coos back to his tender show of affection.

Peeking at her from under the fringe of his ruffled hair, Five does his best to smile when their eyes meet, but it comes off uncertain because he feels so bad for what he did.

Five never wanted to be a cheater, but Dolores has told him time and time again that she wants him to find someone who can be there for him in ways that she can't, and if he did, it wouldn't be cheating. The problem is this is not what she meant. It’s throwing his dysfunction and failure in her face when all she has done for the last forty-one years is support him. Then, after making her watch another one of his many falls from grace, he’s got the balls to come to her as a whimpering mess, going even more dysfunctional when he sets about selfishly dirtying her thighs and her pretty new skirt with his traitorous seed.

“I am so sorry,” Five quietly breathes, sounding so discouraged. 

Already his free hand is inspecting the damage under the blankets. It's not like he hasn't done these kinds of sexual things with Dolores before, it's just last night was wrong on too many levels. Dolores can do nothing for herself, and his intense shame over the way he used her and his innate need to take care of her has Five quickly untangling himself from her body.

‘It’s okay.’

“It’s not,” he replies on the way to the bathroom to get soapy washcloths.

Once inside, Five accidentally catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and just that makes his chest hurt.

“You fucking, pathetic bastard,” he mumbles, cursing himself as he goes about getting the supplies he needs to help bring some dignity back to his helpless partner.

Coming back to bed, he sets his things down on the nightstand and then picks up his own rumpled dress pants off the floor. He zips himself in, trying not to think about when he unzipped last night, but it’s impossible not to. 

Eyes on Dolores, he rolls the comforter back and starts cleaning her. Once he has her legs shiny and cleansed, Five glances across the room to the nearest window. Behind the fluttering curtain, he knows the girl is still laying in her bed. With even more remorse threatening to pull him under, he looks down at Dolores.

“I’ll change you into some fresh clothes, strip the bedding, and then you and I can make breakfast together, and I’ll read to you till I have to go?” Five says it as a question, sounding so hopeful she won’t reject his attempt to try to be the man he used to be for her.

‘That would be perfect, sweetheart. I would love that.’ As soon as her reply processes in his mind, it instantly makes him feel better.

Five makes good on his offer, other than his own shower, he spends the quiet pre-dawn hours at her side. He’s sure to right the rest of the wrongs from the night before by dressing her in the next best thing he has for her, then he remakes their bed with fresh linens and blankets, and carefully tucks Dolores in so she’s comfortable as she waits for his return.

After leaning in and kissing her on her cool rosy cheek, Five leaves for the day, dressed in his usual all black three-piece suit paired with a fitted white dress shirt and black tie.

Feeling a little more like himself and that he can make it through another day, Five’s smile before walking out the door is real and full of so much love. “Thank you for loving me. You are all I need,” he says in his head, doing his best to will it true, but it’s sadly not.

Like so many times he’s lied to himself, Five tries very hard to change this new pattern of giving into his darker urges, but as the week progresses, he can’t help but fall victim again to his inappropriate indulgence. 

The rest of the week, he manages to achieve his nightly end goal of blissful release without falling into another dark hole of mortification like he did after peeping on the girl on Monday night. Five’s success not wallowing in utter misery is not good in that it only further ingrains his deviant behavior and his fantasy that there’s something building between him and the stranger across the alley.

--------------------------

Friday after work, Five is sitting in his armchair, disdainfully eyeing his brother as he goes about, snooping around his small apartment. Five lets out a sharp sigh, then tipping his head back, he takes a drink of the extremely delicious coffee that Klaus used as an excuse to drop by.

"I know you haven't talked to Diego in a while, but I saw him last week and he told me that he's still been keeping an eye on our dear old alien dad."

Every time Klaus pays him a visit this topic comes up and every time Five refuses to take the bait. "Diego should stop trying to play superhero. He should just let it rest. Dad got what he wanted. He's got the world by the balls and even though we mean nothing to him, he let us live. Story over."

"I don't know, man. Diego said that Lila has been looking into things with him lately and there's something weird going on of there at the Hargreeves International building. Like more than an alien overlord hanging out in his penthouse basking in how small all of us insignificant humans look down here on the ground."

Five couldn't look more like he doesn't give a shit, so Klaus moves on to other things on his agenda. “So, work is good, things are going well then?” Klaus asks, leaning over Five's bed to give a tress hanging from Dolores’s wig a twirl.

Loathing the way Klaus is touching her, Five’s face melts into a purely sinister looking leer, but his brother doesn’t seem to get the hint and keeps on with it, twirling away.

“You could care less about my work or if I enjoy it. And it’s not that I don’t appreciate good coffee, but you don’t need to stop by and check on me. You haven’t felt the need to pay me regular visits up until recently and nobody else in our family of idiot misfit toys gives a damn, so you are welcome to join them in that if you are simply coming by to try and piss me off, which you are.”

Five defiantly cocks his chin the same time one of his shoulders rises in that uncontrollable mad tick of his as he gears up for the rest of his dismissal. 

“In case you forgot, I am a grown man and I have been taking care of myself almost my entire life. I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” he bites out, teeth bared.

Klaus nods, his lips pursing as he thinks for a second. “Yeah, all true. But you are pretty damn young to be living all alone like this.” He smirks. “Well, sort of.”

“I know your miniscule brain can't comprehend this, but I am not a child, and I am not alone!” Five defends much too loudly and quickly, his sneer transforming into a deep frown instead.

After that excessive outburst, both Klaus and Five look at Dolores. Klaus dips closer to her and whispers something. Five can’t help but internally curse himself as he watches his brother openly taunting him. He knows it’s pointless to let Klaus rattle him, but he can’t help it. Everything is setting him off lately. One of the reasons he prefers to be alone is to avoid things like this.

Five’s already very small world is closing in around him more and more each day and the worst part is that he is accepting it.

Shifting in his chair, Five’s clammy hand comes up to his silk tie, fidgeting with it. Just having Klaus in his apartment is making it feel harder for him to breathe and he knows that’s irrational but it’s true all the same.

In Five’s mind, Dolores is looking back at him with her customary expression of agitation that she saves for when he’s doing something she’s not okay with, yet the reality is, her face always remains that of pleasant neutrality.

Lately, Five hasn’t been able to connect to her on the same intimate level he has been for most his life, but his troubled mind hasn’t given up on using Dolores as an outlet to try to get through to him. Though she is not real, Dolores is still where Five keeps what’s left of his heart, and she is his lifeline just like she always has been.

I want him to go, Five tells her in their way that needs no words.

‘You know that your brother was not in the best shape when he first got here. It’s not Klaus’s fault he wasn’t able to be around more. He had things to figure out too. Relax, sweetheart. Just take your deep breaths like we talked about. He’s just trying to be nice,’ she gently offers, trying to calm Five down.

Since Klaus is back to messing with Dolores’s hair, he doesn’t notice the look of fear in Five’s eyes as he stares at her, or that he’s desperately trying to do as she said and take long deep breaths to reign in this feeling of impending doom that’s looming over him.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that you are fine,” Klaus goes on, “it’s just I can’t help but feel like you need to get out, you know… Like join the world of the living a little more now that you can.”

Five’s fingers clench on the arm of his chair but he manages to keep his voice level and his expression blank by the time Klaus looks his way again. “I do get out,” he flatly replies.

Klaus laughs. “I don’t mean going to work or picking up takeout.”

Unable to maintain his façade of cool, nervously bending forward, Five’s free hand grips tightly at his knee. “Look, Klaus, these little interrogation visits of yours are a blast and all but if there is nothing else that you’d like to talk about, then you can kindly see yourself to the door because I have more important things to do.”

“Like what?”

Five doesn’t respond and that’s because he doesn’t have anything to do. Well, not anything that he is going to admit to Klaus anyway. Speaking of which, Five raises his arm, anxiously drawing his cuff up enough to see his watch.

The girl should be home by now.

She is waiting for him. He heard her telling someone on the phone this week that she has this entire weekend off. Five has been looking forward to this rare break in her busy work schedule ever since because now he won’t be alone the next two days.

It takes everything Five has not to get up and go check on her, but he refuses to even look over at his window while Klaus is there.

An ache like need to get his brother out as soon as possible has Five’s jaw tensing as he tries to think of how best to do it. Just thinking about missing his chance to spend time with the girl has Five fighting to keep his knees from bouncing. He's about to come flying up out of his chair and physically throw Klaus out on his ass.

'Just breathe,' Dolores reminds him.

Trying to listen and just relax but with his nerves still getting the best of him, Five looks extremely bothered when he finally comes up with his lame answer, but at least he is not going postal on the one remaining family member that actually remembers he exists.

“I am trying to finish a book due back at the library, and I’d like to do it before bed, so…” he reports with a jittery looking rolling of his hand, implying it's time for Klaus to move on.

To that, Klaus flamboyantly flaps his arms up, beaming ear to ear like he’s got the best idea ever.

“Hey, you can finish your boring book later this weekend. It’s Friday, why don’t you come with me, and we go out for a night on the town! Let your super cool big brother show you a good time, I’ll even pay, and I know all the best places. There’s this one club that has these naughty cage dancers and I know from what Luther told me from our Dallas stint that you like to watch the sexy lad-”

“You are not my big brother!” Five snaps, interrupting him. “I am older than you by nearly thirty years and something tells me that your idea of a good time is not even close to mine, so no thank you. I am fine, so stop acting like I am some kind of freak of the family that you need to check in on every few weeks so you don’t find me hanging from a rope in my closet!”

Instead of getting the picture that he is only making Five feel even more uncomfortable about his disastrous life, Klaus flops down on the bed, making himself more at home.

Wishing he could spatial jump, and even worse still having the instinctual reaction to try to but coming up empty handed, Five grates his teeth in extreme frustration, then abruptly stands up, violently crushing his empty coffee cup before he chucks it over in the kitchen sink.

Klaus can clearly see the very irate, no longer boney thirteen-year-old, ex-teleporting assassin, yet still very much a ball of rage version of Number Five Hargreeves coming for him. Even though he himself can die permanently just like everyone else, he obviously isn’t frightened by his brother because he continues snuggling in and fussing over Dolores, trying to style her glued on hair in a more tousled look.

Standing over him at the side of the bed, Five swats Klaus’s hand off his beloved mannequin’s shoulder.

“Stop touching her!”

Klaus holds his hand as if Five actually hurt him, even doing an overdone pout to add to his show of disappointment. “Five, this is exactly why you need to get out more. Dolores is great and all and I know you love her, but everyone needs someone a little more… Aah-uhm, you know.”

“REAL!”

Five’s voice is too loud, his heart is hammering, and his nerves are shot. He needs Klaus to leave. More and more when his brother stops by, it’s things like this. It feels like everything said is to remind him how fucked-up he is and how his life isn’t even a life.

“Five,” Klaus sighs his name, not at all fazed by him yelling, “ever since we got here, I am scared you’re becoming a very lost soul and that’s getting worse as the days go by. Now that you are free and you don’t have a world to save or an evil taskmaster from The Commission to tell you what to do, you’ve been hiding deeper and deeper inside yourself. I know this kind of thing, man. I have seen it and I’ve lived through some pretty fucked up episodes of depression. I can help you, and as a spiritual leader, you should know that I helped a lot of lost people find inner peace. The way we grew up, and then being a hitman and living a lifetime alone the way you did, it would mess anyone up. I just want to help is all.”

“Do you want me to feel worse about this? Is that what this is!” Five throws a shaking hand back over his dark hair, yanking it out of his eyes. With his hand landing on the back of his neck, nails digging in, he begins to pace.

Klaus sits up, his smile gone the moment he realizes that his brother is actually getting really upset compared to his normal kind of upset.

“Five, that is not at all what I am trying to do. I just want you to be happy. You are so alone, man. It can't be good.”

Five stops, spinning on his heel as he shoots death daggers back at Klaus. “I may be a freak as far as the world’s concerned, but the world can fuck off. Just stay out of it. I am not alone, and I AM FINE!”

Raising his hands in a placating gesture, Klaus tries to lighten the mood again. “I am so happy you are good and all that.”

Klaus gently shrugs, biting his lip, giving away that he is aware what he’s going to say next probably isn’t going to get the reaction he’s hoping for, but he says it anyway.

“Maybe you need just a little something else to add to all your good, is all I am saying. It doesn’t have to be going out and trying to make friends or getting thick into the enigmatic world of dating. I get that one is a complicated cookie being you are twenty-ish going on sixty or whatever, but what the chicks or guys don’t know about you won’t hurt them. Just don’t talk about all that.” Klaus grins and winks. “Unless you do go for the hurting thing, you dirty old bastard. There are clubs we can go to for that too.” Looking at Dolores he adds, “I bet Fivey loves to spank that sweet ass now that you’ve got one.”

“Fuck you,” Five growls.

Klaus keeps smiling at Dolores. “I guess that means no cute Fivey daddy kink for you, gorgeous. Too bad.”

“Stop talking to her!”

Klaus looks totally thrown. “Why, you talk to her?”

“Because she’s mine, you shithead!” Five barks back, not sure what else to say about his extreme distress over this simple visit and he’s already regretting saying that because it only makes him sound even more nuts.

“Come on Five… Just chill out. I am just joking around. You need more of that. I also think you could use a little spice in your love life, even if that means just right here at home in your own little safe world of just you, your hand and this lovely lady and any other lady or guys that you’re secretly pining over in that genius but gloriously debauched mind of yours.”

Stunned at his brother’s latest comment that is hitting too close to home, Five can’t help turning his body just enough so he can look over at the girl’s apartment.

“Not out in the scary world of real people, I mean,” Klaus tries to correct, not realizing that Five is misconstruing what he just said, thinking he was talking about the girl next door and what he’s already doing with her.

Biting back another curse, Five narrows his eyes at Klaus, part in fury and part in embarrassed confusion because the girl’s lights are on, meaning she is home, and he feels like his brother is seeing right through him.

“How about instead of spending all your money on all these sexy suits that you have more than enough of already, you spend some money on a really nice blow-up doll. Or even just something that vibrates or something else exciting that has a little more give and play to it.”

As Klaus spits out his brilliant idea, his smile expands, and it matches Five’s wide eyes.

“Get a flesh-light,” he cheerfully suggests, “or you can adjust things with your new and improved big boobs love hole inflatable and add some Velcro to her hands or something else creative so she can give you a little affection back in the way of loving plastic arms wrapped around you while you hump the fuck out of her. We all need a hug, buddy.”

With that, Klaus stands and puts his hands out acting like he’s going to hug Five, but just as fast, Five steps back out of his reach, looking utterly appalled.

Again, not getting it, his brother offers a silly smile as he shakes a finger at him. “Settle down over there, old-man kiddo. You know what I mean… I am just talking about something a little more stimulating. You must be so horny and bored in here that you are going insane.” Klaus’s smile falters as he takes in Five’s tiny home and lack of anything in it in the way of character or signs of life. “You deserve more, buddy,” he finishes, the sadness he feels for Five seeping into his tone even though he’s trying to smile still.

“The last thing I want, or need, is for you or anyone to feel sorry for me,” Five seethes while jamming his hands in his pockets. His eyes move to the floor as he battles within himself to control the surge of desire to lash out both verbally and physically. Keeping his brother safe from either of those things, Five swiftly motions for Klaus to go. “Just go,” he nearly whispers because he's trying so hard to hide the quiver in his voice.

“Five?” Klaus tries.

“NO! I am done! I have done enough for you and everyone. Just leave me alone!”

Five yells it so loud, Klaus flinches. “I am sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I am sorry about everything. I am just worried.”

“Don’t be. I am happy,” Five lies. He looks up a few seconds after saying that, his face again the usual mask of indifference, but Klaus can see right through it and wishes so badly he had seen it sooner.

Not knowing what else to do that won’t anger Five more, Klaus moves to the door. “Fine… I get it. I am a dumbass, and you don’t need anyone, but I am here for you, man. I am sorry I haven’t always been there to listen, but I am now.”

“Sure,” Five says, before shutting the door on Klaus.

-----------------------------

Five slaps down the deadbolt, then flips the lights off.

“That fucking, fucker !” he mumbles as he swiftly moves across the small space to the kitchen window.

With a huge sigh of relief, he sees the girl must have just got out of the shower. He didn’t miss it. The anticipation of that addictive rapture she provides is already settling Five down and also revving him up as he lowers his body into his favorite viewing chair.

Just as Five is thinking that he can escape into his perfect place, with her towel wrapped around her and wet hair dangling down her back, he watches as she suddenly spins around from her bathroom sink and then rushes out into her bedroom area. It appears that she is frantically looking for something. Her head pops up several times looking towards her front door, then as if giving up, she slowly walks over to it.

When she opens it, Five is greeted with an unwelcome sight.

“Who the fuck is that?”

Not able to understand at first, and obviously not getting an answer to his question, Five leans over his table for a better look. His girl just let some guy in her apartment. And she did it while in nothing more than her bath towel!

“No,” Five whimpers when he sees her smile at this asshole in the beaming way that he believes is something she only deploys for their interactions. She smiles like that when she’s laughing about something or dancing around her apartment loudly singing while she cleans, and none of these things have anything to do with him, but Five is too gone to see that.

Watching her sauntering off to her bathroom as the other guy is also hungrily watching it, has Five gritting his teeth. His fingernails dig into the palms of his hands. Though he doesn’t want to believe it, now that this other guy is there, Five is piecing together that she is not prancing like that for him. 

"It never was for you," a seductively cruel version of her voice tickles through his mind.

"Yes it was!" he growls back, unwilling to give up on his dream.

There’s even more burning pain as his neatly clipped nails carve half-moons into his flesh. His hands start to violently shake at his sides.

The girl says something to the guy then she shuts the bathroom door, blocking both Five and this new guy out.

As soon as she’s gone, her visitor starts meandering around her tiny place like he owns it, but Five is certain that he’s never been there before. He’s going about it not at all unlike what Klaus just did to Five, only the girl is entirely unaware of it.

The creep digs through her things, including her underwear drawer, taking a pair, and hiding them in his inner jacket pocket. Then he opens another drawer, pulling out a small jar that Five has seen handled by the girl many times. He greedily digs in, helping himself to the girl’s hard earned tip money that she saves all week to pay for her groceries.

Five’s entire body is vibrating he is so mad.

“I am going to fucking kill you, you piece of shit!” he hisses, eyes locked on the guy as he carefully studies his every move, learning any of his potential weaknesses.

Five easily determines this guy is an easy hit, no weapon other than his hands will be needed to end him. Five can already feel himself snapping this guy’s fat neck. There is no way he is going to let him get away with stealing from his girl. Coming over to take her out is one thing, and that’s bad enough, but taking her underwear without her permission! That means death and Five is going to happily deliver it.

During Five’s near manic episode of having mental and verbal conversations with himself, and also justifying reasons for killing this guy, he is conveniently forgetting the fact that he’s been watching her without permission and taking sexual liberties for himself from her body without her knowledge. With the way his mind has been working lately, it’s not at all the same thing. This guy has her trust and he’s in her home. Five would never violate her like the way this guy just did. He’d never even touch her let alone her things.

Focusing on the kill, a rush of adrenaline-fueled hatred brings that calm before the storm feeling that settles like an old familiar friend into Five’s mind and limps. His trembling fingers steady.

When his girl comes out of the bathroom she’s dressed in a flowy little skirt and a tight fit top with a unbuttoned cropped sweater over it. She goes straight to the guy with that adorably beautiful and innocent look on her face, and that manages to crack Five’s newly composed homicidal state of poise. He’s never seen her in anything that nice. Why doesn't she wear that stuff for him?

She lets the guy take her hand, leading the way as they disappear out the door.

It takes everything Five has not to spring into action and race out the door to follow them. He knows that doing that will only result in one thing, and that one thing is going to be bloody and brutal, but it would feel so good to see her date bleed.

To do that, Five would have to trail them, waiting for just the right moment. The idea of doing that brings back so many memories of his time with The Commission. It’s both sickening and sweet. He knows he could do it without anyone seeing. The girl wouldn’t even have to know. It would be perfect. But…

Fuck.

Even though this is what he was made to do, something feels wrong.

He’s never gone so far as to take this obsession with the girl outside of his apartment and hers. This is their special place, their own private world. But out there…

“It’s not real! She’s not yours!” his mind screams at him.

Five is all at once beside himself with how to process this unwanted mental intrusion.

That’s not true. She is real. What they have is real, his mind corrects. Him being a coldhearted killer is sadly real, but he hasn’t hurt anyone since he’s been in this timeline. He promised himself that he wouldn’t. He doesn’t need to anymore.

Five wants it to be real with this girl so badly and he wants to kill this guy just as much.

But none of it is real.

Deep down, Five knows that he has no right to feel this way.

“FUCK!” he screams in pure anguish, his hands coming up to his face, fingers digging in as his eyes slam shut. “Why are you doing this!”

The question comes out of his mouth, but it’s just as much for him as it is for her. Five can’t reason what’s happening to him or why she’d be with a guy like that over staying here with him. He’s not a good person, but he’d never…

Five’s voice comes out broken and quiet. “God, damn it.”

Yes, Five is a highly skilled executioner and absolutely thrumming with excitement over the idea of murdering this guy, but then the reality of what he himself has done to this girl is being thrown up in his face. Five’s insides are revolting against him and that’s because he has abused the girl too. He didn’t steal from her, but yet, he did.

Five may be experiencing an extremely dangerous dissociation from reality and doing so more and more as the days go by, but what happened with Klaus earlier and this mental battle with himself now proves that he’s still aware on some level of what he’s doing.

He knows it’s wrong.

He is wrong.

Again, that overwhelming hatred threatens to take his breath away. Five’s vision starts to flood with murky blackness coming at him from all sides. It’s hitting him hard and fast this time. He blindly reaches for the chair in front of him just in time to prevent himself from tumbling all the way down to the floor.

In a heap, eyes misting from terrified tears, Five folds in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs. His heart feels like it could burst right out of his chest.

“No, no, no,” he whispers in his downward spiraling mantra as he rocks back and forth. This time as Five slips away inside his own personal hell, not even Dolores is able to pull him back.

He can no longer hear her. It’s nothing but ash, blood, and regret.

-------------------------------------

Hours later, sitting at his table in the dark, Five brings his glass to his lips. The caramel-colored liquid isn't even giving him that delightful burn anymore as it glides down his throat. As if in slow motion, his blurred eyes drop to his hands.

They don’t feel like they are his.

They are, but they aren’t.

No matter how long he is in this new, younger version of himself, Five’s mind can’t weave together the new face in the mirror with the person he sees in his mind. When he was this age, he was not in good shape, but he was not this demon going around masquerading as a human. 

Seeing that his glass is empty again, Five reaches for his bottle of cheap whiskey with the intention of pouring himself more, but he’s denied for a second time tonight in his only remaining vice and that’s because there isn’t any left. It doesn’t really matter because Five already feels completely dead inside and it’s not the bad liquor making him numb.

When the girl and guy come bursting into her apartment not long later, Five is still sitting there in the dark extremely inebriated.

It appears from Five’s point of view that the creep’s mouth and hands are all over her in a very heated embrace. Five sits silent and still, watching as the girl stumbles backwards, her hand flailing out as if she’s surprised by her date's display of reckless desire for her. Then the guy forcefully kicks her door closed behind them, he swiftly scoops her up and he throws her down on the couch.

Five can’t even feel the rage, or the hate, or even the shame that he had before. He wishes so badly that he could, but it’s gone like the rest of him.

It appears to Five that the girl’s shithead boyfriend just manhandled her, but as far as he can tell, it looks like she’s totally into it.

The guy is on top of her in a flash, blocking Five from seeing her face as he pins her legs under his and he shoves her shirt up. 

Five’s eyes fall on her beautiful bare skin, mesmerized with the quick rise and fall of her chest. 

Her lover has one hand at her throat and the other around her wrists as he appears to smother her breasts in passionate kisses. 

The windows haven't been open tonight but in his head Five can hear her cries of pleasure as her date forcefully shoves her knees apart with one of his own, then grinds down on her. 

Five knows enough to know that doing that to her would feel so fucking good. Holding her under him... Directing everything...

It's too much for him to handle.

"Fu-uuck," he slowly breathes.

Being in control of everything is all Five knows when it comes to these things, so he easily lets the image before him become him. He is this guy. The only thing he would do differently is let his girl’s hands go free. He wants to let her feverously scratch and dig at his back as he presses his length between her legs. Five is so into this that in his mind, he can feel the pain of it.

He clings to that sensation, wanting to feel something. Seeing her body being treated in this way helps to pull Five back from the darkness in his mind, but it’s not the same as all the other times that he has been with her alone in their own unique way. This time she is a participant in the sexual act being played out before his eyes and Five isn’t sure if that’s why it feels different or not. 

Five realized the moment she walked out the door that this is not for him and everything about that feels horrible. Yet still he is still getting sexual stimulated by this, which is all the more fucked up and he knows it.

As silly as it is, the thought that she is doing this to hurt him seems all too real. Of course, she’d want to do that. Nobody can ever really love him.

Five lets out an absolutely maniacal laugh that fills his small apartment in the most horrifyingly unhappy way before he slurs, “Well played, honey. I deserve this and then some, but nobody is as good at hurting me as I am. It absolutely destroys me that you chose this loser, but I am not looking away. I know how to take a punishment; I have been doing it my whole life.”  

His hand slides down to his lap, the heavy feel of pleasure hitting him the moment the heat of his dick rubs against his equally hot palm. The full filling in his gut and the growing weight against his leg are all his usual physical reactions to seeing her in private like this, but this, her half naked under this other man as he aggressively dominates her, it’s bringing all sorts of disordered and confusing thoughts into Five’s mind. Something feels wrong, but he assumes it's him, so he begins to stroke himself anyway. 

“Fuck me over as you fuck him. I don’t care anymore, I can take it, baby,” Five grates out, his words running together as his hips begin moving up into his hand in their very practiced way.

Taking it further even than the couple across the alleyway have, Five hastily unfastens his suit pants and takes the end of his dick in hand, impatiently working it faster even though he’s not fully erect yet. In his semi-flaccid state, he tries to focus his efforts on the most sensitive area that's just under the tip, but his fingers won't cooperate because he is too shitfaced.

Unbeknownst to him, there is a disconnect happening between the alcohol and his hate for himself, his hate for this guy, and his new anger at the girl that he had tricked himself into believing loved him. 

To his dismay, it’s all manifesting in his inability to get rock hard like he’d normally be at this point. It’s just another thing he’s being denied, and Five is determined not to let go of one of the last things that makes him feel anything.

"Come on," Five urges both himself and them, his eyes trained on the other man who is also clearly fumbling as he tries to get his dick out of his jeans. 

If she wants to punish him, so be it. But he’s going to be the one to do the beating. Just like their relationship, it’s always been one sided, he only fooled himself that it wasn’t. 

He knows that he’ll hate himself even more for this, but in his screwed-up head, that’s exactly what he deserves. He wants to give in and just be nothing but the monster because it would be easier in so many ways.

After a minute or so of relentlessly jerking himself and finally getting hard enough that the head of is cock is pleasantly swollen and he's reaching close to his usual boner potential, the girl starts kicking her legs free. Five doesn’t grasp what’s happening, and that’s because he’s more focused on himself at the moment, rubbing the pearl of cum that's leaking out of him around and around as he pushes his thighs to lift and lower to the motion of how he envisions he's fucking her.

It feels so good, Five's eyes are hardly able to stay open as his head drops back and his mouth gapes and then closes and gapes again. He is making throaty grunting noises to the rhythm of his hand tightly jerking the base of his cock and the old chair he is on is creaking right along to his shameless song.

"Oh Fuck. That's it, suck it you dirty little slut," he groans.

In his mind, he just decided to pull out of her and then push himself straight in her mouth instead. The corners of his mouth pull back as a smile lights up his flushed face and that's because he just pretended to see that naughty twinkle in her eye that he can't get enough of. At this point Five has made up the idea that his girl is loving this and it's all a part of one of their normal little games which has him feeling much better about things. To Five, they just made up and it's going to be okay again.

"You are so perfect. Take me as deep as you can, baby," Five encourages her, his own hands working to give him that feeling of love that he so desperately craves.

When all at once, across the alley, his girl's actual man topples off her, falling onto the floor, Five can actually see the face he's been envisioning, and it doesn’t look happy at all and he doesn’t understand why. 

It looks like she is yelling as she pushes the guy off of her a second time. Her face contorts even more in the unmistakable look of pure rage. Even seeing this, Five still frantically searches for his release. All he needs is just a little more and he’ll be there in that addictive place where he can forget everything for just a few glorious seconds.

But then to his shock, the girl chucks the glass vase from her end table, missing her date by only a few inches. It smashes against the wall by the door and using the guy’s small moment of pause over that, the much smaller girl goes for another heavy glass object sitting among her other pretty things. This time she hits him with it in the crotch, and taking the hint, he bolts for her door. She’s right behind him, closing the door before flinging a chain lock across its bracket to keep him out. Even though Five can’t hear it, the visual slamming of her door feels like it sent a shockwave through him. 

He actually startles from it, his fuzzy mind coming back to him a little.

Five’s cramping hand on his shaft breaks its ruthless pace as he watches the girl slump her back against the door, her bottom sliding to the floor. She’s wiping her eyes.

Only now does Five know what he was missing in all this.

Watching her clean her own tears from her cheeks has Five suddenly realizing that she did not want what had just happened to her from the start, and that alarming fact hits Five like a ton of bricks. Following that drunken epiphany, an immediate explosion of hysteria hits him.

At the same time the girl gets up, crossing the room to pick something from beside her bed, Five hastily begins tucking himself back in his pants.

Five can hardly think, but one thing he knows is that this time he is going to kill that fucker.

As he races on unsteady feet for his own door, he looks back and sees the girl is no longer sitting there. He can’t see her anywhere inside her apartment but there’s no time to stand there and wait to see where she went. He assumes she went in her bathroom.

Five rips out of his apartment past the corroded elevator doors. He can hear the thing moving for once but since the lights still don’t work, he has no idea what floor it’s on. Crashing into a wall because he clumsily trips on some trash, Five curses himself for getting so messed-up, then takes off again, running as fast as he can to the stairway.

He bolts down the flights, his feet hardly making contact with more than a few steps on each one. When he hits the cement platform at the bottom and throws open the doors to the parking area behind their buildings, he comes out just in time to see his girl taking a swing at a flashy looking sports car pulling through the lot. 

She manages to clip off one of the side mirrors with her baseball bat and her date must be scared shitless because he doesn’t stop to have another go with her. Instead, he tears out on to the street, engine roaring and tires screeching. 

Hardly believing what he just saw and with his alcohol marinated brain not working even remotely right, Five comes her way.

“Holy shit,” he huffs as he tries to catch his breath.

The girl sees him coming, the look in her eyes so upset.

All Five wants to do is tell her he’s sorry. He wants to beg her forgiveness for being so fucked-up and angry with her that he didn’t see what was happening. He can’t believe that he just sat there, fucking himself while she was being sexually assaulted.

Her eyes grow wide as Five comes right up to her, but other than that, she merely stands there as if in a daze.

When Five makes the terrible mistake of calling her by name and then saying something about that asshole throwing himself on her like that, the girl no longer looks as unworried about the smartly dressed stranger approaching her in what she thought was concern.

“I don’t know you…” she says back, her confusion evident in her face and her tone. “There’s no way you saw…” She pauses but doesn’t take her eyes off the very unstable looking man in front of her. “How do you know that he did that?” she asks, terror washing over her face as she raises her bat.

Her eyes very quickly flit up then back down to the door Five just ran out of. As frustratingly slow as Five’s mind is moving, even he can tell that she is piecing together that he just came out of the adjacent building, and that since he just stupidly admitted to witnessing her date’s repulsive behavior, she knows that he was watching her somehow.

“Wait, I can explain. I care about you. It’s not like that-" He doesn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words horribly. “Please don’t be scared of me,” Five says, trying to correct his first verbal blunder, but it’s too late, and saying that only makes it much, much worse. She’s already backing away from him. He can’t help but panic, and in his current state of mind, he does one further in the wrong when he tries to reach for her. “Plea- OH FUCK!”

She swings at him. Five’s hand comes up stopping the bat just before it slams into the side of his skull.

“No! Just wait! I am sorr-” he tries and fails again to say anything helpful as he spins her around with it, maneuvering her body back up against him so he can detain her arms.

Undeterred by how easily Five turned the tables on her, the girl thrashes, throwing her head back to try and head butt him. He’s much more experienced in hand-to-hand combat than her and taller by just enough that he moves just in time and she misses her mark, her head flinging into his shoulder instead. Ripping the bat out of her hand even as she is stomping at his feet, Five binds one arm around her waist lifting her off the ground as he yanks her backwards with him. 

“Please, stop!” he cries again but she’s not having it. Just as she lets out a scream, Five covers her mouth.

The girl bites Five’s fingers. Filled with violent pain from receiving multiple puncture wounds at once, he drops her back on her feet. Five lets out a ferocious roar as both his arms instinctually come up, squeezing around her throat.

Now that her hands are free, she tries to claw at him but Five lifts a knee into her lower back, pushing in as he buries his face against her shoulder blades so she can’t dig his eyeballs out of their sockets. As the girl’s oxygen supply quickly disappears, Five knows it’s a matter of seconds before she will stop fighting him.

He bares down on her with a chokehold and his skill at taking someone down this way has the girl’s weight falling limply back against his body after less than ten seconds. As her head lolls to the side, he knows that she is completely out, but Five knows it’s not going to be for long unless he tightens his hold and keeps it there. 

If he does that, then it would be over for her.

Five does not want that. He didn’t want to see her hurt or be the one to hurt her. He didn’t want any of this.

He lets up the pressure, making sure she can breathe, but he doesn’t let her go.

Looking around the dimly lit parking lot, all he hears are the echoes of sirens in the distance and the usual humming noise from the traffic on the freeway a few miles away.

To Five’s surprise, it looks like nobody witnessed any of that, not the date who sped off and not this. It’s the middle of the night and there’s nobody around. Even in the window above with lights on still, Five can’t see any signs that someone saw them fighting. This is not the best neighborhood so even if someone did hear a disturbance outside, it would be nothing noteworthy.

But what now?

After what he just accidentally blurted, telling her that he has been essentially going full creep and stalking her, and then what he just did, Five can’t let her go.

If he does, then it would be over for him.

-------------------------

Thanks for reading.

Link to Chapter 3

Master Post List to all my Five Centric Stories and Art

KayBreezy on A03

KayBreezy on Tumblr

Link to Bad_Kitty who created two of the pics for this fic and is an author who also loves to write Five Fics

[kanobarlowe]

Meet the Character: Regin Hartford

Picrew

Regin Hartford is a man out of time, out of place. Dressed like he's ready for an 1800s party, British accent and all, he can be found...

... in a coastal village with one road in Maine?

His unusual personage can be found operating an antique shop with a radio tower that only plays the classical arts. Eclectic, strange, charming, polished, devilishly handsome...

His brown eyes so bright they almost look red. A point to his ears that seems twisted but uncertain. A sharpness to his smile, that almost resembles fangs.

Picrew

Being the vampiric Scion of the Northeastern American Coast, Regin has felt empty, detached, bound only to his duty and hunger for sustenance. Operating a small antique shop as a cover, Regin was used to the same dehumanizing routines: lure in a vagrant or a hitchhiker or thug, devour them whole, repeat.

Lure. Consume. Devour. Repeat.

Again and again...

His responsibility as Scion make up for the emptiness—as a Wearhic creature himself, Regin has endless compassion for his kind and cousins. Protecting them and keeping them safe, from the proudest vampire to the lowliest goblin, is all that matters, all that keeps him away from the full routine of feeding.

Until a handsome young man arrives with a strange gift to speak to the dead. Perhaps Yves can be the key to solving a series of murders in his domain?

Picrew

Sorry this took so long lol

Tagging

@bardic-tales , @creators-club

[turangalila]

Cypriot Advent Antiphons – Anonymous (c. 1390) [I-Tn MS J.II.9Biblioteca Nazionale Universitaria, Torino, Italy]

— Nos Demoramur - O Sapientia Incarnata — Pictor Eterne Syderum - O Adonay Domus Israel — Cunti Fundent Precamina - O Radix Yesse Splendida — Veni Splendor Mirabilis - Lucis Eterne Splendor — Quis Possit Dignexprimere - O Rex Vrtuum Gloria — Tu Nati Nata Suscipe - O Sacra Virgo Virginum — Homo Mortalis Firmiter - Hodie Puer Nascitur

— Nos Demoramur - O Sapientia Incarnata

_ O Sapientia incarnata, / mente seraphica contemplata, / voce angelica nunciata, / alvo almifica enutrita, / a patre genita prodiisti, / post patrem florida non fulcisti / una, sed splendida comprobasti / unius merita, cum fuisti / cuntorum entium primus motoret ut celestium fabricator, / sic et humilium contractator, / actorum omnium terminator, / cunta qui nectis modo sublimiea / que fortis iure suavi / semper disponis ordine, primi / velle resolvis atque supremi. / Veni, benigne instrue mentes / fervoris igne redde prudentes / molesque frange usque prementes, / nos tecum iunge diu morantes. //

Nos demoramur, benigne rector, / et prestolamur, que tu, promissor, / spondes, et famur quia transgressor / egit ut remur fieri horror. / Inde, gementes acre timemus / ne deviantes nos pereamus, / cum ignorantes, exerceamus / que cupientes desideramus. / Ergo, lux verax, fuga tenebras / quas nodus tenax usque latebras / limbique portas nobis acerbasdedit et minas ille superbas. / Dum ergo fatum parentis primi / tremimus, casum Plutonis diri, / viam prudentum rogamus pii, / voce silentum ne simus, veni. //

— Pictor Eterne Syderum - O Adonay Domus Israel

_ O Adonay, domus Israel, / O dux, vere deus, Emanuel, / O tu creator cui Michael, / Assunt eque pius et Raphael, / In Syna fulvum qui transformasti / Candentem rubum, quem ostendisti / Esse te verum, atque dedisti / Moysi legem quem docuisti, / Brachium potens, fortis, ostende / Redime, fervens, firmus, intende / Ut liberemur igne gehenne, / Ne teneamur inde perenne. / O future libris propheticis, / Expectate dictis veridicis, Affirmate signis mirificis, / Tu sperate bonis almificis, / Iam tandem veni, manus extendens / Ad redimendum nos miserascens, / Aridam sitim undis extinguens, / Eleos guttis rite perungens.

Pictor eterne syderum, / Via, salus et veritas, / Qui prebes iter prosperum / His qui que vera trinitas / Rite fatentur, lilium, / Viola, rosa, probitas, / Ros, fides, spes, subsidium, / Cedrus, ignis et caritas, / Veni, succurre propere / In brachii potentia, / Fias redemtor libere / In promissi iusticia: / Nos liberabis onere / Quo gravamur astucia / Hostis antiqui colere; / Intendemus leticia. / O Israel Adonay / Te clamamus humiliter: / Veni de monte Sinay, / Leva luctantes iugiter.

— Cunti Fundent Precamina - O Radix Yesse Splendida

_ O Radix Yesse splendida / Solares vincens radios, / O fundatrix prefulgida / Diversos signans populos, / O altrix vere candida / Sermones claudens regios, / O igne micans fervida / Campos purgans Elisios, / Tu laude digna fertilis, / Quam reges adorabunt, / Pennis a celo agilis, / Quam regine salutabunt, / In terris conversabilis / Tum te proceres timebunt, / Tandem cruce passibilis / Quam prophete expectabunt. / Veni, gloriosissime, / Expectantes delibera, / Frange, tu potentissime, / Manu ferventi infera, / Et si velis, iustissime, / Correctionis effera / Virga, secte, probissime, / Plebem iniquam carcera: / Ne tardes, velocissime.

Cuncti fundent precamina: / Reges, magnates populi, / Continebunt affamina / Super radice agili; / Quid precabuntur agmina, / Quid peroptabunt singuli, / Quid decantabunt carmina, / Quid perorabunt versuli? / Certe, ut cito venias / Ad redimendum scelera. / Ergo, ut plene fulgeas, / Ad nos benignus propera, / Misericordem prebeas / Ut iurasti per viscera, / Plene nobis indulgeas, / Iram antiquam tempera. / Noli tardare, domitor, / Ad liberandum subditos, / Revela sontes, conditor, / Nube delicti perditos.

— Veni Splendor Mirabilis - Lucis Eterne Splendor

_ Lucis eterne splendor, / qui ortus es sol iusticie, / patris mirande decor, / noster fautor amicicie, / dubius ne sis memor / veteris nostre nequitie, / summe te rabbi precor: / dimitte culpam versutie. / Nam digne quis te querere / suis possit operibus, / quis te valet adquirere / propriis suis opibus? / Datum est nobis credere, / quo ligna velut ignibus / ardemus, inde serere / conamur virtutibus. / Quos mortis umbra continet, /veni, splendor et adiuva, / quos tenebrarum possidet / locus horrendus libera, / mirra, incensum offeret / nostra anima gratifera, um illa dies afferet / cum animabus corpora, / tunc spes omnis desinet. //

Veni, splendor mirabilis, / et obsitos caligine / tuis involve radiis, / tuo corrusces lumine. / Libera nos subsidiis, / formasti quos ymagine / plena fecisti gratiis / tua similitudine. / Horrore mortis tegimur / spissis umbrarum nubibus, / ardore mentis coquimur / diris Parcarum sortibus, / fervore cordis fallimur / scissis terrarum molibus, / stridore dentis quatimur / miris penarum oribus. / O ergo, lucis claritas, / funde potenter radios; / o summa, veni, bonitas, / salva fidem ter noxios. //

— Quis Possit Dignexprimere - O Rex Vrtuum Gloria

_ O Rex, virtutum gloria, / desideratus gentium, / lapis ductus in angula, / incognitus amentium, / aule celestis incola, / spes et dilectus fortium, / veni festinus, immola / corpus nobis dominicum. / Qui utraque unum facis / tui ordinis virtute, / qui creatum orbem alis / eternali probitate, / expectantes diu colis / paternali caritate, / nos esurientes velis / pascere sacietate. / Quem de limo tu formasti, / veni et salva hominem / quem de nichilo creasti, / redempturus per virginem; / dele crimen prothoplasti / a quo eximi neminem, / recto iure voluisti, / nisi puram et immunem / per quam carnem liberasti. //

Quis possit digne exprimere / sacre rei misterium? / Qua via comprehendere / quis possit puerperium, / ut se possit inserere / in almam matris alveum, / sine reatus scelere, / quo nobis datur vinculum? / Sine peccato originis, / nasciturus ex virgine, / veni, benignus premiis, / libera nos voragine, / tui terrore fulminis / infice quos in flumine / Flegetontis inveneris, / desistat diro turbine. / Quos tu creasti redime, / qui sedemus in tenebris / et nos sperantes suscipe, / purgemur a miseriis. //

— Tu Nati Nata Suscipe - O Sacra Virgo Virginum

_ O sacra Virgo virginum, / Mater et patris genita, / Perfecta salus hominum, / Omni virtute condita, / Tu expers es similium, / Humilitati dedita, / Terror et pena demonum, / Recuperans deperdita. / Hierusalem, Hierusalem, / Quid miraris assidue? / Si talem queris hominem / Tu invenire propere, / Non invenies similem / Toto quesito opere. / Ante et post te neminem / Omni tranato ethere. / Divinum est misterium / Quod in te tantum cernitur; / Celeste est imperium / Quod factum tuum colitur, / Ergo, puerperium / Quod virginale noscitur, / Da nobis ministerium / Quo multis celum scanditur, / Et para chaterthirium.

Tu, nati nata, suscipe / Nostra vota que reddimus, / Tuorum preces accipe / Quas tibi pie fundimus, / Te invocantes despice / Quia diu deflevimus, / Ne peccatores reice / A sinu quem quesivimus. / Plena omnis leticie, / Corda nostra letifica ; / Donatrix omnis gratie, / Clamantes te gratifica, / Fautrix omnis iusticie, / Delinquentes iustifica, / Mater misericordie, / Te poscentes almifica. / O sola porta glorie, / Pulsanti valvas aperi, / Et filios miserie  / Parcendo manto coperi.

— Homo Mortalis Firmiter - Hodie Puer Nascitur

_ Hodie puer nascitur / ante secula genitus; / agnus tener depromitur, / carne mortali conditus, / matre intacta ducitur, / luce quam fecit candidus, / qui previdetur, colitur, / quo non videtur splendidus. / Splendor in nubem funditur, / nec a sole divellitur; / splendor in nube conditur, / nec a nube minuitur; / nubes eodem alitur, / nec alimentum sumitur; / nubes interdum patitur, / nec ille splendor pungitur. / In carne verbum seritur / unione fortissima, / qua caro verbum creditur / ratione firmissima, / et verbum non deseritur / a carne solidissima, / nec unquam caro linquitur / a luce potentissima, / inest qui splendor tessuti / alma cum semper anima.//

Homo mortalis, firmiter / carni cum heret anima, / humana passibiliter / coniuncta sunt hec infima, / duo creata duplici / natura reddunt unicum, / cum gratia multiplici / separandarum partium / sed increata tercia / talem confecit hominem, / qualem superna gratia / ubivis fecit neminem. / Nam splendor carni additus / et anime mirabilem / perpetuum divinitus, / sibi assumpsit hominem. / Ergo, si caro linquitur / ab anima passibili, / mortuus homo creditur / tantum natura duplici. //

_ Cypriot Advent Antiphons – Anonymous c. 1390 Huelgas Ensemble. Paul Van Nevel (1990, Deutsche Harmonia Mundi – RD77977)

[josh0555]

This is the Summer Station ID of ABS-CBN in 2007. The Summer Station ID was themed “Piliin Mo Ang Pilipinas”.

The Summer Station ID theme song was performed by Filipina OPM singer and songwriter Regine Velasquez featuring Filipino singer, songwriter, rapper, dancer, television host, actor and comedian Ogie Alcasid who is Regine Velasquez's husband when they got married in December 30, 2005 which was 1 day before Ogie Alcasid's birthday. Somehow, They had their first child who was born in May 1, 2007. Also starting in June 1, 2007, The theme “Piliin Mo Ang Pilipinas” can be heard on DZMM Radyo 630 and various radio stations nationwide.

The Summer Station ID features Ritz Azul, Alice Dixson, Arcee Muñoz, Tuesday Vargas, AiAi de las Alas, Cherry Pie Picache, Carmina Villaroel, Eugene Domingo, Nora Aunor, Lucho Ayala, Gil Cuerva, Rainier Castillo, Raymond Bagatsing, Bayani Agbayani, JC de Vera, Martin Escudero, Gerald Anderson, Sef Cadayona, Edgar Allan Guzman, Cherie Mercado, Kara David, The Tulfo Brothers, Bernadette Sembrano, Mariz Umali, Kim Atienza, Jiggy Manicad, Ted Failon, Arnold Clavio, “Kabayan” Noli de Castro, Marc Logan, Vicky Morales, DingDong Dantes, Marian Rivera, Andi Eigenmann, Dominic Roco, Felix Roco, Bong Revilla, Jayson Gainza, Zanjoe Marudo, RJ Padilla, Tito Sotto, Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon, Heart Evangelista, Erich Gonzales, Dimples Romana, Robin Padilla, Carl Cervantes, JM de Guzman, Jeric Gonzales, AJ Perez, Judy Ann Santos, Roxanne Guinoo, Jodi Sta. Maria, Oyo Boy Sotto, Gian Sotto, McCoy de Leon, Jhong Hilario, Rico Barrero, Tom Rodriguez, Paolo Serrano, RK Bagatsing, Kristine Hermosa, Meg Imperial, Carla Abellana, Bianca Umali, RR Enriquez, Princess Ryan, Dianne Medina, Barbie Forteza, Maine Mendoza, Catherine Bernardo, Edu Manzano, Jericho Rosales, Gardo Versoza, Julia Montes, Angel Locsin, Coleen Garcia, Shaina Magdayao, Ellen Adarna, Louise de los Reyes, Jessie Mendiola, Ivana Alawi, Maja Salvador, Vhong Navarro, Billy Crawford, Teddy Corpuz, Aga Muhlach, Sid Lucero, Onemig Bondoc, Diether Ocampo, John Prats, Joem Bascon, Jose Manalo, Wally Bayola, Xian Lim, Luis Manzano, Matteo Guidicelli, IC Mendoza, Rocco Nacino, Enchong Dee, Enzo Pineda, Dion Ignacio, John Lloyd Cruz, Benjamin Alves, Coco Martin, Patrick Garcia, Carlos Agassi, Eric Fructuoso, Joseph Bitangcol, Long Mejia, Mariel Rodriguez, Krystal Reyes, Toni Gonzaga, Camille Prats, Jennylyn Mercado, Arra San Agustin, Rufa Mae Quinto, Valerie Concepcion, Claudine Barretto, Daniel Padilla, Alwyn Uytingco, Ryan Agoncillo, including DJ Willie Revillame, Regine Velasquez and her husband Ogie Alcasid when they got married in December 30, 2005. The Summer Station ID features the supergroup Bravo All-Stars, child actors Angelica Panganiban, Alex Gonzaga, Cristine Reyes, Nash Aguas, Valeen Montenegro and the Goin Bulilit original cast members from TV5. The Summer Station ID also features British boy band One Direction in their pre-debut and Australian born American actor, producer and comedian Will Smith who portrayed Jack Frost in the 2002 movie Frozen as a special guest. Red, Green, Blue and Black Balloons will also be scattered around the world to literally bring forth the summer fun.

The Summer Station ID was filmed in Hollywood, Quezon City, London, Italy, France, Australia, Kenya, Baguio, Boracay and New York in June 2006 whenever the ABS-CBN, GMA and TV5 crew members are having a hot summer day into a big summer party.

The Summer Station ID clips will be re-used in the 2013 Summer Station ID of TV5 which is “Bida Best sa Tag-Araw” and the I Gotta Feeling music video from the future movie Ready Player One which will be releasing in March 21, 2013 from Walt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar Animation Studios. However, The Summer Station ID reuses the clips of the music videos from those deleted songs Without Me and The Real Slim Shady by DMX from the movie Frozen where Luis Manzano, Xian Lim, DingDong Dantes, Zanjoe Marudo, Joseph Bitangcol and Will Smith as Jack Frost were seen.

But somehow, This is the only Summer Station ID to feature actors from ABS-CBN, GMA and TV5.

[animusiem]

Billboard USA Exclusion Zone Episode 16 (06/17/2023)

I'm so excited for this week not gonna lie. Yes it's mostly because of Metro Boomin Spiderverse mini album bomb which crossed over to the Global Excl US chart. But looking at the new entries and I just realized the scope of what "global music chart excluding America" really like because damn this is a very chaotic week.

------------------------------------------------------------

8. "Sprinter" by Dave & Central Cee

It's kinda interesting to see a grime song having its biggest debut as I do think that grime might be the next big thing in Europe around 4 years ago. I do think this song has a good beat, but the lyrics man are just bad. One particular highlight is talking about Central Cee hooking up with a feminist...seriously.

15. "S-Class" by Stray Kids

Well I found another penis music-core again and it's due to the chorus which...what's up with the melody here?

20. "Los del Espacio" by LIT killah, Maria Becerra, FMK, Rusherking, Duki, Emilia, Tiago pzk & Big One

Remember that posse cut Te Bote that somehow became a hit in 2018? Well we got another one of those posse cut here with all of these artists. All I can say here is that it's at least more upbeat and fun than Te Bote. Apparently this type of posse cut is a big thing in Argentina alongside BZRP Music Session. I love how it changes genres so that it didn't felt stale. Good stuff.

27. "Popular" by The Weeknd ft. Playboi Carti & Madonna

From what I heard, The Idol is another show about exploitation in the entertainment industry? I mean there's already Oshi no Ko and Perfect Blue that have done this concept better but hey just like the former, we have a pop song to go along with it. Now this is one of the few Abel songs that I actually enjoy. 2000's pop-n-b is a perfect fit for Abel and I want Madonna like this. Oh btw fuck Playboi Carti, he didn't add anything to this song but a nuisance.

42. "Ta OK" by DENNIS E MC Kevin O Chris

I think you know how big of an impact streaming and TikTok has in music being more decentralized that we have high debut for Reginal Brazilian song that only ran one and a half minutes.

51. "Calling" by Metro Boomin, Swae Lee, & Nav ft. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie

Short review for Across the Spiderverse: One of the best animated movies of all time go watch it if you haven't already. Now for the soundtrack though, I would say it's consistent and played it straight. But because of that, there's no standout songs unlike say Sunflowers or What's Up Danger. But Metro is still a great producer and this song is a great example. I love Swae Lee hook, NAV gave his best performance ever, and A Boogie didn't embarrassed himself here. I hope this became a radio hit...but I want this to be bigger.

61. "Annihilate" by Metro Boomin, Swae Lee, Lil Wayne & Offset

When the beat to this song was used in the movie I felt chill and really showed the scope and the eerieness of the Spider Society looked like. I do think that Offset should do more than his basic verse, but Lil Wayne just go off in this song. I don't know why he always turned up in these CBM films' soundtracks but I approve it.

62. "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin, ASAP Rocky & Roisee

The production saved it from being mediocre. That string and the percussion is just immaculate and showed that he can do more than his typical trap rap stuff given the budget. Roisee got too much filter on her and ASAP Rocky just doing decent here.

77. "El Cielo" by Sky Rompiendo ft. Feid & Myke Towers

I think I'm kinda sick of Feid but with this song, I'll give him another chance because I like the groove and the atmosphere of this song.

79. "Pişman Değilim" by Semicenk ft. Doğu Swag

We got another first here as this is the first Turkish song I am reviewing. And wow this sounds like 2016-17 pop rap stuff complete with the piano, blocky percussion, and strong hook.

103. "Lilith" by Halsey ft. SUGA

So apparently Diablo IV came out recently and seems like video game devs seeing the success of Enemy, are gonna hired musicians to soundtrack their games. Here's one observation of this song, this beat is actually great. But seems like SUGA just cannot ride the beat well.

114. "Makeba" by Jain

This song has one of the tightest bass I've ever heard this year so far. Of course beside that this song seems to be influenced by some Arabic element to it by the sandy feel of the production. It's just a good song.

116. "Obsessed" by Riar Saab ft. Abhijay Sharma

I think I knew that this week is gonna be the most diverse one I've covered when right after a song from French artist that had Arabic influence, I got a punjabi rap song that blew up in Canada.

153. "Self Love" by Metro Boomin & Coi Leray

This is definitely the most underrated song from the Spiderverse album. I love the lowkey pop trap sound juxtaposed with Coi Leray voice which I would describe as if Playboi Carti going pop. And I love this song because the lyrics can be about anything, but the voice clip of Gwen at the end of the song made it seems like it was her song and I love that kind of soundtrack writing.

163. "Tere Vaaste" by Varun Jain, Schin-Jigar, Shadab Faridi & Altamash Faridi

Last time I talked about the soundtrack from this movie it was a ballad. Now we got the upbeat song here...which is still kinda lowkey. But as someone who only watched like bollywood movies from the 80's and 90's, hearing synthetic percussion in this song does threw me off.

186. "Topline" by Stray Kids ft. Tiger JK

...At least the trumpet is good here???

190. "All The Way Live" by Metro Boomin, Future & Lil Uzi Vert

I think this is the weakest song on the album which is such a shame. I love it when Future on Metro's production, but he's kinda checked out here. The production does saved it but this is indeed sounded like above average Baby Pluto song.

193. "Me Entere" by Tiago Pzk & TINI

Tiago Pzk was supposed to be the next big thing in reggaeton scene...and then he just didn't. Anyways this song is too bouncy even for me.

I highly recommend everyone to listen to these songs

[totallyhussein-blog]

Kitchen Radio is shedding light on Middle Eastern and North African Jewish food and culture

When Regine and Nathalie Basha, creators of the Kitchen Radio podcast, started talking about doing a show together, they wanted to find a way to share their heritage and history. As Debra L. Eckerling wrote, the duo, who happen to be aunt and niece, respectively, decided to do that through food.

“We’ve been finding that so many people out there … besides our own interest, have been creating food blogs and reviving their Arab Jewish history through food,” Regine  told the Jewish Journal. “We thought the best thing to do is just start interviewing people who are doing this as well.”

“Kitchen Radio” was released by Reboot Studios on April 3. In each episode, hosts Regine (Founder of “Tuning Baghdad”) and Nathalie Basha (The Travel Muse) feature a dish and a conversation to introduce the still little-known Jewish culture of the Middle East and North Africa (MENA) region.

Tannaz Sassooni making the Persian rice and poultry dish Gondi Kashi kicked off the season. Jewish Journal columnists The Sephardic Spice Girls, as well as cookbook author Claudia Roden and artist Rafram Chaddad also appear  on Kitchen Radio’s first season. New episodes will be released every Tuesday in April.

“When we speak about Jewishness and Jewish food, at least here in the U.S., we automatically go to Ashkenazi Jewish,” Nathalie  told the Journal. “When we would tell people that we are Iraqi Jewish, most people would say, ‘What does that even mean? How can you be both?’ So we thought that would be a really interesting way to start this conversation.”

Food has been an integral part of the hosts’ upbringing. Regine and Nathalie remember the open houses  “Aunt Daisy,” a family friend from the Iraqi Jewish community, would host every Saturday.  

“Basically, it would just be a smorgasbord of food,” Nathalie said. “Anybody who wanted to come from  10 a.m. until whenever would just come.” There would be tea flowing, cheese, fruits and platters of Iraqi delicacies, along with the sharing of stories and history.  

“It was such a positive, happy moment in both of our childhoods and even going into early adulthood,” she said. “When it stopped, we were like, ‘Who’s going to do this? Who’s going to keep this tradition?’”

Regine and Nathalie are thrilled to share the little known foods they grew up with and the history behind them. “Getting this information out there is like inviting everybody else into this really colorful, beautiful world of Arabic Jewish food,” Nathalie said.

Nathalie’s favorite dish is a dessert called Konafa, which is featured in episode four with Claudia Roden, an Egyptian-born British cookbook writer and cultural anthropologist of Sephardi/Mizrahi descent.

“It’s a kind of ubiquitous Middle Eastern dessert,” Nathalie said. “Everyone, meaning every country, tries to claim that they were the originators of Konafa.”

Made with white cheeses — depending on your family’s region or country, the cheese mix changes —- sandwiched between pressed down vermicelli-like noodles, drenched in butter and cooked until it’s “really crispy, and the cheese inside gets very, very melty,” Nathalie said.

When the dish comes out of the oven, you spoon a simple syrup, usually enhanced with rose water or orange blossom, all over it. “I can’t even describe how good it smells,” Nathalie said. “But it hits all the notes that you want in a dessert: it’s crunchy, it’s salty, it’s sweet, it’s chewy.”

Just like that dessert, Regine and Nathalie hope their podcast enhances all of the senses, while giving listeners a delicious taste of history.

[radioregine]

oh yeah i think i might use #usergigi for my gif stuff & #radio regine for other art/music/etc things

[nightguide]

DICTIONARY: QUR'AN LOGIC

UNIVERSAL FAMILY CODE: NEVER A RACIST SENTIMENT TO HONOUR KILLING (ZOMBIES ARE MADE FROM THERE)

GLOSSARY: SURAH AL FATIHAH (NEIGHBOURHOODS)

WORDS WITH -CIDE: SOCIAL CAVITIES: CARGO

ACARICIDE: MITES

SMWC: HEARTBROKEN ALL THE TIME (WHINERS FOR LIFE)

SH: KNOWS A GUY

SH8: WILL DISEASE YOUR HEART FOR NO REASON

ALGICIDE: ALGAE

SMWC: WILL ACTUALLY KILL (AND GET AWAY WITH IT)

SH: GREAT AT LIVING (WEALTHY FOR A REASON)

SH8: HONESTLY MAKE U GO INTO POVERTY BY SOCIAL NOTICE (IS THE ONES WHO CONTROLS THE NEIGHBOURHOOD)

APHIDICIDES: TEXTILES (INTERIORS)

SMWC: JUDGEMENTAL FROM A HOLLYWOOD POV (ANNA WINTOUR-LIKE HORROR ON YOUR HOME LIKE COURTESY)

SH: GREAT AT GIFTING (YOU FEEL HONOUR FULFILLED)

SH8: KNOWS A NEURO-DIVERGENT INTUITIVE (HONOUR BATTLE) TO KEEP YOU CLEAN OFF SADAQAH AL-JARIYAH (NORMALLY BORN INTO ROYALTY TIL NOTICE FROM LATER LIFE VIA KINDNESS IS HOW THEY ARE THE MESSENGER OF HONOUR (SOCIAL RULEBOOK IS HONESTY POLICY ON ALL BACKGROUNDS (CONTROLS THE WORLD FOR THE ND'S TO LIVE NO MATTER WHAT)

BACILLICIDE: BONES

SMWC: THEY ARE WHAT THEY DO

SH: HOME IS YOU (FRIEND FOR LIFE IS YOU EVOLVING INTO WARRIOR THAT THEY LOVE YOU LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED, CUDDLY TO THE CORE)

SH8: YOU'RE DEAD THINKING (INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS BY PRACTICING THE ART OF GOD WAY BACK INTO THE PROPHETHOOD TIMES (WHICH IS HOW THEIR FAMILIES ARE DEDICATED ABOUT THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK THAT THEY MADE HOLLYWOOD LIKE THAT BY CONTROL OF LIVESTOCK: ONE ANIMAL IS ALL OF HUMANITY WITH IT)

BACTERICIDE: BACTERIA

SMWC: THEY TALK WAY TOO MUCH (TO FILL YOUR TIME, SO THEY'RE ADRENALINE JUNKIES TO THE FAULT (LITTLE SISTER RUNS THE SHIT SHOW ONCE UPON A TIME) IS HOW THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS TO PISS SOMEONE OFF FOR DOING IT (THEY THRIVE FOR DRAMA)

SH: THEY MAKE YOU FAMOUS FOR BEING THERE FOR THEM (THE BESFREN ALGORITHM IN CUTENESS IS THEM)

SH8: THEY MAKE YOU EAT SHIT (AND PROVEN) FOR MEDICAL REASONS (ADVANCING BLOOD IS SOCIAL CLAUSES FOR A THEIST IN THE FAMILY (BIG SISTER FRIEND SOCIALITE IS WHY THEY RUN IT)

BIOCIDE: LIVING MATERIAL

SMWC: THEY'RE FASHION DESIGNERS (THATS THE PROBLEM)

SH: THEY HAVE A REASON TO DO WHAT THEY WANT (PARTY PLANNER'S REP)

SH8: IF THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU, THEY HAVE A PARTY ABOUT THAT (THEY TALK SHIT TO MAKE YOU THE REASON OF THE JOKE AN YOU ARE BEFORE YOU KNEW WHY YOU DID NOT GO (YOU GOT ROASTED TOO HARD THAT SHE EVEN SAID IT (USUALLY THE MOM) THAT UR DONE FOR (LIKE IF EMINEM DISSED U, U WILL NEVER PROBABLY GO THERE EVER AGAIN (SAID LIVING OR ENDING YOU MISSED OUT ON)

DEICIDE: A GOD

SMWC: CILLIAN MURPHY (AND THEY GET PUNCHED FOR IT) BUT THEY MAKE IT UP (WATCHING THE DETECTIVES (2007)

SH: U LIVED THROUGH HIS MOVIES TO KNOW THE END (WHY THEY'RE MORE RELIGIOUSLY REFINED MORE THAN THE ACTUAL GUY IN REAL LIFE (THEY MADE CONSPIRACY THEORIES TO REJECT THE SOCIAL DAJJAL A.K.A CILLIAN MURPHY OF ANYBODY (THEIR RELATIVE KNEW A STORY TO OUT-WIT THE MAN IRL BY SALAF FOLLOWING (ENDS NOW) THAN SEE YOU (THE VIEWER) RELATE TO THE SCREEN (WHERE THE IDIOT WIL GO FOR THEM: OPPENHEIMER (2024) TO LEAVE THE WORLD BEYOND (KNEW THE JACKASS MOVIE ENDING THAN ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN TO THE LESSER CROWDS (THEY KNEW THE PEAKY BLINDERS WERE WOMEN RELATIVE TO SPACE AND TIME TO MOTHER COUNTER-CURRENCY (A.K.A. HEART)

SH8: UR CILLIAN MURPHY (BUT THEY DANCE YOU OFF FOR SHOW MONEY (CILLIAN HATES WEDDINGS)

ECOCIDE: AN ENVIRONMENT

SMWC: THEY ARE ALCOHOLICS (STORYTELLERS BY OTHER LANGUAGE: SCIENTISTS)

SH: INTERNET

SH8: THEY MAKE YOU COMMIT TO THE WORST SUBJECT OF ALL TIME FOR UPGRADE OF TECH

FOETUSIDE: FOETUS

SMWC: RADIO (HAS A ND IN THE FAMILY MAKES THEM THAT BY AUTOMATIC RESPECT: IS IN LINE FOR A REGINAL TAKE ON LIFE (WORLD ENDED)

SH: NICE GIVES YOU POINTS AFTER THEY MARRY (NO LONGER HEALTH ISSUES IN HER BODY)

SH8: THEY KNEW A WAY TO KILL YOU AND THEY NEVER FORGET THEIR TRUE SELVES IN MOTION (BY DREAM)

FILICIDE: ONE CHILD

SMWC: ONE WILL DIE (DEAD CHILDREN OF ALLAH SECT: NOT FAMILIAR)

SH: THE WORLD IS BETTER WITHOUT THEM

SH8: IT'S NOW OVER (YOU KNOWING THIS)

FRATICIDE: A BROTHER

SMWC: HOLLYWOOD REVERTS IN THE FAMILY (STORYTELLERS AND JOBCENTRES (WITH THE ND WOMAN)

SH: KNOWN FOR THE (WOMAN IS IN THE SPOTLIGHT FOR HER FATHER AT LAST (KINGDOM IS HIS FOR HER (MADE FOR THE LIMELIGHT THAT THE HOLLYWOOD HUSBAND DOES NOT EXIST)

SH8: IF YOU'RE HATED. YOU'RE HATED. SHE WILL MAKE YOU KNOWN AND HE WILL DISGUST YOU (HOLLYWOOD GODS MAKES YOU BELIEVE IN MYTH THAN THE BOOKS (HOLY BOOKS) YOU WERE KNOWN TO FOR A BETTER EUROPEAN SOCIETY

FUNGICIDE: FUNGI

SMWC: THEY HATE TIME (THEY LIKE PEOPLE TOO TOO MUCH) THE SQUISHY OF THE FAMILY (BLONDE GIRL ENERGY)

SH: THEY LIKE YOU (SECT OF SINGERS TURNED MUSLIMS) AND THEY LIKE BEING WITH YOU (CONCERT GIRL ENERGY MAKES YOU A PART OF THEIR WORK CUZ UR SPECIAL TO THEM LIKE UR RAMADAN SPECIAL TO THEM RIGHT BACK (LIKE UR CUTER ENOUGH BEING SEEN WITH THEM IS HOW THEY HATE NAZAR ENERGY CUZ UR DOWN TO EARTH MAKING THEM DIFFUSED FROM WHO THEY USED TO BE (THEIR WORK) TO BE IN YOUR WORK BY MAKING UR WORK (PAYING FOR IT) TO THEIR WORK (UR FAMOUS CUZ U KNOW TAYLOR SWIFT LIKE THAT)

SH8: UR THE REASON (WINS AN ARGUMENT AGAINST 'THAT ONE SCRATCH MEDICAL' FOR YOU AND MAKE IT NATURALLY EVIL FOR YOU): WHAT GOES, GOES. THE WHITE GIRL GOT MORE PARENTAL HIERARCHY THAN THEIR OWN (DESPITE GENDER: USUALLY WITH A PAKISTANI GIRL TURNED GODLY EXPECTATIONS WITH HAYA SNOB (MUSLIM BEAUTIFUL)

PARASITICIDE: PARASITES

SMWC: THEY'RE QUIET TO NO DEFAULT (WHY THE LOUDMOUTH OF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD LOVES THEM)

SH: THEY KNOW WAY TOO MUCH FOR THE WORLD TO REMEMBER (UR BESTIE IN THE DARK IS THEM ALL ALONG GIVING YOU LIGHT TO LIVE ON (WHY THE WORLD EXISTS IS THEM)

SH8: THEY DON'T MAKE YOU DO IT, YOU DID IT BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHY (THEY'RE LIKE ANTI-CHRIST RELATIVE TO TV DIMENSION, SO DON'T BOTHER WATCHING IT IF YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH (PAKISTAN IF ANYTHING BUT WHOSOEVER MARRIES INTO THEM HAVE THAT KIND OF GUTS TO END LIFE FOREVER (YOU KNEW THEIR PARTNER BEFORE YOU LIED TO YOURSELF (SO PROBABLY NOT GOING TO SURVIVE TV TRAUMA (DUNYA) TO SURPASS DEEN (AAKHIRAH) TO FIND A MAN (DIE ALONE ENERGY)

[cruzlilje]

Fantastisk recension och publikrespons på KONTRAKTET!

SvD: "”Kontraktet” (från 15 år) är härligt ruggig skräckteater om mellanförskap. Isabel Cruz Liljegrens mångbottnade pjäs är listigt konstruerad med korsande spår om identitetsskapande." "Texten borrar sig ner i erfarenheter av att vara fången mellan världar och sakna självklar tillhörighet. Och om huruvida man kan kapa sina rötter när man vill skapa sitt själv för att passa in." "Publiken har hörlurar. Regissören Lola Zackow, som signerat en rad radiodramer och har konstnärligt utvecklingsansvar för ljuddrama på Sveriges Radio, utnyttjar effektivt greppet med den intensiva närvaro som ges genom det koncentrerade lyssnandet. Vi hör Nabils vilsna röst, liksom Albins hjärtslag, andetag och viskningar. Regin förhöjer textens absurda situationer och karaktärer till teatral surrealism."

Spelar till 23 november.

Boka biljetter här

[micro961]

Il Vaso Di Pandora - Il nuovo singolo “Medea”

Il brano che segna il ritorno nella discografia nazionale della band bolognese sugli stores digitali e dal 5 gennaio nelle radio

“Medea” è il nuovo e attesissimo singolo della rock band italiana de Il Vaso Di Pandora, sui principali stores digitali e dal 5 gennaio sulle radio italiane in promozione nazionale. Arrangiamenti curati nei minimi dettagli che evidenziano la grande maturità artistica raggiunta dalla band che evolve in firma stilistica ormai riconoscibile già dal primo ascolto. Melodie che scorrono su di un alternative rock in cui la voce di Antonella Farace regna sovrana, incontrastata e colma di pathos in una interpretazione dal forte impatto emotivo. Sonorità dal forte richiamo anni 90, ma proiettate nel presente discografico italiano: eleganza e stile grazie anche alle firme di Francesco Scaglioni alla batteria, Mario Guizzardi al basso e Gabriele Andrisani alle chitarre. “Medea” è un ritratto di quest’epoca, che qualche anno fa sarebbe apparso distopico, una madre terra che si ribella alle brutture dell’uomo ed inizia un gioco sadico con i propri figli che forse, a differenza della progenie di Medea, non sono del tutto innocenti.

“Siamo Re e Regine i cui troni sono letti di ospedale e le parate avvengono con camion militari nel silenzio della notte. In questo tempo e in questo spazio la campanella suona ancora, ma i bambini non vanno a scuola. Ecco il nostro ego ingrassato e mai sazio, ecco il nostro punto debole. La terra lo sa bene. Iper connessi e sempre più distanti non siamo più capaci di provare empatia e lei, come una bambola voodoo, per ogni spillo ricevuto infligge a noi la stessa ferita. Ci lascia l’impressione di scegliere, ma solo tra due mali perché il resto ce lo siamo già giocato.” Il Vaso Di Pandora

Ascolta il brano

Storia della band

La band de Il Vaso Di Pandora nasce nel 2009 dall’intuito della cantante Antonella Farace e del batterista Francesco Scaglioni. Dopo vari cambi di line up il quartetto si completa con Mario Guizzardi al basso e Gabriele Andrisani alla chitarra. L’innegabile matrice del quartetto basato a Bologna è quella del rock, specialmente quello più contemporaneo sviluppatosi negli anni zero, da cui Il Vaso Di Pandora mutua quel particolare gusto per edificare muri sonori con i quali colpire il proprio pubblico in modo diretto, potente, come uno schiaffo. Dopo “Psicosi Di Una Donna Curiosa” del 2012, “Massacri per Diletto”, uscito nel marzo 2015 e “L’Astronaufrago”, pubblicato nell’aprile 2019, la band è pronta al suo gran ritorno sulla scena musicale italiana con il nuovo singolo “Medea”.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ilvasodipandorabologna

Instagram: www.instagram.com/ilvasodipandoraband

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ilvasodipandoraband

[kanobarlowe]

Monthly Roundabout

Not too much going on this past month. Brim's Bane was on sale and I was so happy to be able to provide the ebook version for cheap or free! I hope people enjoy my book, I'm really bad at the whole marketing thing so I'm just doing what I can.

Bridgewater is underway. I'm feeling silly so I'll share some of what I wrote under the cut.

NOTE: this is a rough draft version so it probably sucks lmao

Yves shuffled among rusty oil lamps, cloth in-hand. He brushed off dust and grime from the old metal and glass. While he was focused on cleaning, his mind drifted off, thoughts on the scream he’d heard this morning.

So far, he’d been able to push it out of his mind, but now as his eyes reflected back at him in the lamp glass, its echoes through the alleyway replayed again and again.

Had he imagined it? There had been no other sounds—the night was still. The ghostly light had led him to a neighborhood with a house taped off, unmarked police cars blocking the road off just outside it.

Yet there were no people, no voices, no commotion. Only silence.

He felt the tremble of his hand and drew it back, clutching the dust rag against his chest. He stared at himself, distorted in the curve of the lamp, his eyes slightly sunken into his pale flesh. The dark circles beneath them had faded after a first good night’s sleep in weeks, but they still remained, a reminder of his haggard past.

Perhaps he’d imagined the scream. Perhaps he’d heard something else, the grinding of metal, the squeal of a tire on asphalt. Despite the reassurances he told himself, the chill still slithered down his spine all the same.

The shop door jingled, pulling him from this thoughts as he made his way toward the back counter. The windows were dark with fog that obscured the late afternoon sun that prepared for its final evening descent. Odair leaned against the counter with a bright lamp beaming over his shoulder as he tinkered with his music box. Odair didn’t look up at the sound of the door, so Yves turned instead and stepped into the main hallway.

“Hello, welcome to—”

He halted as Regin approached the counter. The man’s expression was cool but otherwise unreadable. He looked perfect in his suit, as if he’d just dawned it moments ago, and his shoes were so polished they shined. His coat was draped over his arm, showing off the snow-white dress shirt that lacked any blemishes.

“Excellent form” Regin complimented. He paused, his deep eyes trailing Yves up and down. “And how was your trial day?” He glanced over toward the counter where Odair continued to tinker.

That’s when Yves saw it—the twitch at the corner of his mouth, his smile somewhat wilted. It brought out other features—a few small strands of hair out of line with the rest of his perfectly combed locks, a sag to his face as if he hadn’t slept in days.

It all seemed to poof out of existence as his eyes turned back to Yves, catching his own eyes, luring him into those deep browns that looks so impossibly, strangely red.

“I think I did good,” Yves said. He wrung the rag in his hands, a nervous smile taking hold. “I learned about inventory, cashiering, the cleaning system—oh, and the radio.” A sharp snap of energy electrified his spine, his nerves, his heart and stomach. He wanted to impress this man, wanted his gorgeous eyes to shine at him.

“That much already?” Regin asked. He sounded impressed, but as he turned to approach Odair, Yves caught the darkening of his brilliant irises. “Odair, how was Yves today?”

“Good,” Odair grunted. He did not look up from the music box. A weight filled the room—Yves could feel the oppressive gloom, though the reason for it escaped him. Regin stood just across from Odair, only the wooden counter keeping them apart.

“Odair, look at me when I am talking to you.” Regin’s voice was calm, polite, but the bite behind his words could not be mistaken. Odair froze. It was as if he’d become a puppet, dead and motionless. After a moment of silence, his head craned upward until his eyes locked with Regin’s.

“He did good,” Odair muttered. “Quick learner.”

Regin nodded. “Good,” he said. “You can return to your project.”

Regin began to turn toward Yves, who straightened up from a slouch he wasn’t aware he’d adopted. Regin opened his mouth to speak, but before a word escaped his lips, Odair touched his arm. He paused, an obvious frown on his face, and turned back to Odair.

A whisper passed between them. Yves strained to hear the words, but he couldn’t make out a single syllable. When Regin glanced back at him, he felt his heart race—the sparkle had returned, eyes alight with intrigue.

“Yves,” Regin said, voice somewhat airy, thoughtful, “why don’t you go and wrap up your cleaning? I just need to discuss something quick with Odair.”

Yves nodded and retreated quickly back to the lamps. He cursed under his breath, cheeks flushed. He was unused to this scrutiny and attention, especially from a man like Regin. He began to scrub the lamps with vigor, trying to ignore his bashful embarrassment at having been looked at in such a way.

Odair and Regin continued a quiet discussion at the counter. Yves couldn’t hear a word, but he saw their expressions—a serious one on Odair’s face, a delighted one on Regin’s.

“H-Help…”

Yves jumped, jerking his head. It had been a little while since Yves had seen a ghost, and he’d grown relaxed. The one beside him caught his eyes instantly—and regret seeped into his chest.

The ghost had half of his face torn open, flesh ripped from muscle and bone. A part of his shoulder was shredded, and both of his legs were marked with bloody punctures.

“You… see me…” the ghost groaned. It reached out to Yves as if desperate to feel the touch of another person.

Yves could not help himself; he knew that ghosts could see him, speak to him, but not touch him. But the trembling hand in monochrome hue twisted his gut, and he jerked away quickly. His arm bumped one of the lamps, which fell to the floor with a loud CRACK.

The ghost looked down at the lamp at their feet, and a ragged breath escaped his bloody lips. “That… that is my…” He looked up at Yves, who saw the sheer terror in his eyes. “That is my lamp! From my father! Why do you…”

His eyes turned, and he spotted Regin at the counter. Yves looked from the ghost to Regin—freezing when he saw Regin looking back at him with a puzzled and curious expression.

The scream that broke from the ghost’s throat sent a shock through Yves. He stumbled back, covering his ears at the uninhibited wailing. With a wince, he stepped away quickly, heart pounding as the ghost yelled and cried out, though he spoke no words. He moved toward the corner of the room, surrounding himself with collections of animal teeth and jaws. He counted the teeth, whispering each number under his breath to drown out the ear-piercing shrieks.

“Yves?”

A hand touched Yves’ shoulder. A sheer cold touched his body as he was turned around by strong hands—and the screaming ceased. Regin stood before him, a hand on each shoulder. Though he had an expression of concern, Yves felt his eyes glimmered a little too brightly. “Is everything alright?”

Yves swallowed, daring to glance at where the ghost had been. It was gone, Odair already sweeping the broken lamp off the ground.

“I-I’m okay,” Yves stammered. His body shivered in Regin’s grasp—from terror, from embarrassment, from bashfulness. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break the lamp…”

Regin’s smile was cool, unreadable. “Don’t worry a hair on your head about a lamp,” he said, his voice velvety and compassionate. “It was an accident. It happens. Now…” He brushed Yves’ shoulders gently before letting him go. “Odair tells me you did well, and I have to say, I am impressed at how quickly you got along. If you are still interested, I would like to offer you the job.”

Yves heart fluttered, though he could hardly tell if it was from his previous shock or from Regin’s words. “Thank you, Mr. Hartford, thank you.” He closed his eyes. “I promise to do well.”

When he opened his eyes, he swore he saw something predatory in Regin’s smile, one that made him shrink in fear. It was gone in a moment.

Regin walked him to the front door, handing him a new slip for Betty. “You’ll have a room as long as you require at Betty’s. This will let her know. Now, when you come in tomorrow, I will have some paperwork for you to fill out to confirm your hiring.” He pressed a hand into Yves’ back, ushering him out the door.

As Yves was embraced by the fog, swept into the cool evening air, Regin’s hand left his back, leaving a warm patch that Yves wished for a moment would never fade.

“Welcome to Bridgewater, young man.”

***

Tagging

@bardic-tales , @creators-club

Reach out to me if you'd like to be tagged in future writing or project posts!

[turangalila]

Jean Hanelle of Cambrai (c.1380 - c.1436) Cypriot Vespers [I-Tn MS J.II.9 Biblioteca Nazionale Universitaria, Torino, Italy]

_ O Sapientia (plainchant) _ O Sapientia incarnata / Nos demoramur

_ O Sapientia, quae ex ore Altissimi prodiisti, attingens a fine usque ad finem,fortiter suaviterque disponens omnia:veni ad docendum nos

_ O Sapientia incarnata, / mente seraphica contemplata, / voce angelica nunciata, / alvo almifica enutrita, / a patre genita prodiisti, / post patrem florida non fulcisti / una, sed splendida comprobasti / unius merita, cum fuisti / cuntorum entium primus motoret ut celestium fabricator, / sic et humilium contractator, / actorum omnium terminator, / cunta qui nectis modo sublimiea / que fortis iure suavi / semper disponis ordine, primi / velle resolvis atque supremi. / Veni, benigne instrue mentes / fervoris igne redde prudentes / molesque frange usque prementes, / nos tecum iunge diu morantes. //

Nos demoramur, benigne rector, / et prestolamur, que tu, promissor, / spondes, et famur quia transgressor / egit ut remur fieri horror. / Inde, gementes acre timemus / ne deviantes nos pereamus, / cum ignorantes, exerceamus / que cupientes desideramus. / Ergo, lux verax, fuga tenebras / quas nodus tenax usque latebras / limbique portas nobis acerbasdedit et minas ille superbas. / Dum ergo fatum parentis primi / tremimus, casum Plutonis diri, / viam prudentum rogamus pii, / voce silentum ne simus, veni. //

_ O Adonai (plainchant) _ O Adonai domus Israel / Pictor eterne syderum

_ O Adonay, et Dux domus Israel, / qui Moysi in igne flammae rubi apparuisti, / et ei in Sina legem dedisti: / veni ad redimendum nos in brachio extento.

_ O Adonay, domus Israel, / O dux, vere deus, Emanuel, / O tu creator cui Michael, / Assunt eque pius et Raphael, / In Syna fulvum qui transformasti / Candentem rubum, quem ostendisti / Esse te verum, atque dedisti / Moysi legem quem docuisti, / Brachium potens, fortis, ostende / Redime, fervens, firmus, intende / Ut liberemur igne gehenne, / Ne teneamur inde perenne. / O future libris propheticis, / Expectate dictis veridicis, Affirmate signis mirificis, / Tu sperate bonis almificis, / Iam tandem veni, manus extendens / Ad redimendum nos miserascens, / Aridam sitim undis extinguens, / Eleos guttis rite perungens.

Pictor eterne syderum, / Via, salus et veritas, / Qui prebes iter prosperum / His qui que vera trinitas / Rite fatentur, lilium, / Viola, rosa, probitas, / Ros, fides, spes, subsidium, / Cedrus, ignis et caritas, / Veni, succurre propere / In brachii potentia, / Fias redemtor libere / In promissi iusticia: / Nos liberabis onere / Quo gravamur astucia / Hostis antiqui colere; / Intendemus leticia. / O Israel Adonay / Te clamamus humiliter: / Veni de monte Sinay, / Leva luctantes iugiter.

_ O radix Jesse (plainchant) _ O radix Jesse splendida / Cuncti fundent precamina

_ O Radix Yesse, qui stas in signum populorum, / super quem continebunt reges os suum, / quem Gentes deprecabuntur: / veni ad liberandum nos, jam noli tardare.

_ O Radix Yesse splendida / Solares vincens radios, / O fundatrix prefulgida / Diversos signans populos, / O altrix vere candida / Sermones claudens regios, / O igne micans fervida / Campos purgans Elisios, / Tu laude digna fertilis, / Quam reges adorabunt, / Pennis a celo agilis, / Quam regine salutabunt, / In terris conversabilis / Tum te proceres timebunt, / Tandem cruce passibilis / Quam prophete expectabunt. / Veni, gloriosissime, / Expectantes delibera, / Frange, tu potentissime, / Manu ferventi infera, / Et si velis, iustissime, / Correctionis effera / Virga, secte, probissime, / Plebem iniquam carcera: / Ne tardes, velocissime.

Cuncti fundent precamina: / Reges, magnates populi, / Continebunt affamina / Super radice agili; / Quid precabuntur agmina, / Quid peroptabunt singuli, / Quid decantabunt carmina, / Quid perorabunt versuli? / Certe, ut cito venias / Ad redimendum scelera. / Ergo, ut plene fulgeas, / Ad nos benignus propera, / Misericordem prebeas / Ut iurasti per viscera, / Plene nobis indulgeas, / Iram antiquam tempera. / Noli tardare, domitor, / Ad liberandum subditos, / Revela sontes, conditor, / Nube delicti perditos.

_ O Clavis David (plainchant) _ O Clavis David aurea / Quis igitur aperiet

_ O Clavis David, et sceptrum domus Israel; qui aperis, et nemo claudit; claudis, et nemo aperit: veni, et educ vinctum de domo carceris, sedentem in tenebris, et umbra mortis.

_ O Clavis David aurea / et sceptrum Israeliticum / adaperiens sydera / per baculum propheticum, / nulli tam grandis opera /qui possit tuum abditum /noticia tam prospera / sibi tenere subditum. / Nemo claudit cum aperis, /nemo cum claudis aperit, / nemo negat si asseris, / omnis, cum iubes, obedit. / Veni cito, si iusseris, / cor desolatum defuit, / succurre, precor, miseris / quibus reatus obfuit, / vinctos de domo carceris / educ ad lucem presperam, / quos primi culpa sceleris / viam immersit deviam. / Ut sedeant in tenebris /prodant antiquam patriam, / ergo nos ab illecebris, / clavis, reduc in propriam, / quos mors in umbris continet. //

Quis igitur aperiet, / vinctos solvet ligamine, / quis declamantes audiet / ut revincantur carcere? / Sola clavis davitica / que tecta cunta reserat, / Israel, domus inclita, / ut victoriam referat. / Defractis Ditis postibus / portas attollet principum, / et mute factis hostibus, / franget ianuas demonum. / Sedentes tunc in tenebris / et in mortis calígine / vincla remittent demonis / sine iuris examine. / Veni, tu clavis optima / et carceratos libera. //

_ O Oriens (plainchant) _ O Oriens, lucis eterne splendor / Veni splendor mirabilis

_ O Oriens, splendor lucis aeternae, et sol justitiae: veni, et illumina sedentes in tenebris, et umbra mortis.

_ Lucis eterne splendor, / qui ortus es sol iusticie, / patris mirande decor, / noster fautor amicicie, / dubius ne sis memor / veteris nostre nequitie, / summe te rabbi precor: / dimitte culpam versutie. / Nam digne quis te querere / suis possit operibus, / quis te valet adquirere / propriis suis opibus? / Datum est nobis credere, / quo ligna velut ignibus / ardemus, inde serere / conamur virtutibus. / Quos mortis umbra continet, /veni, splendor et adiuva, / quos tenebrarum possidet / locus horrendus libera, / mirra, incensum offeret / nostra anima gratifera, um illa dies afferet / cum animabus corpora, / tunc spes omnis desinet. //

Veni, splendor mirabilis, / et obsitos caligine / tuis involve radiis, / tuo corrusces lumine. / Libera nos subsidiis, / formasti quos ymagine / plena fecisti gratiis / tua similitudine. / Horrore mortis tegimur / spissis umbrarum nubibus, / ardore mentis coquimur / diris Parcarum sortibus, / fervore cordis fallimur / scissis terrarum molibus, / stridore dentis quatimur / miris penarum oribus. / O ergo, lucis claritas, / funde potenter radios; / o summa, veni, bonitas, / salva fidem ter noxios. //

_ O Rex gentium (plainchant) _ O Rex virtutum gloria / Quis possit digne exprimere

_ O Rex gentium, et desideratus earum, lapisque angularis, qui facis utraque unum: veni, et salva hominem, quem de limo formasti.

_ O Rex, virtutum gloria, / desideratus gentium, / lapis ductus in angula, / incognitus amentium, / aule celestis incola, / spes et dilectus fortium, / veni festinus, immola / corpus nobis dominicum. / Qui utraque unum facis / tui ordinis virtute, / qui creatum orbem alis / eternali probitate, / expectantes diu colis / paternali caritate, / nos esurientes velis / pascere sacietate. / Quem de limo tu formasti, / veni et salva hominem / quem de nichilo creasti, / redempturus per virginem; / dele crimen prothoplasti / a quo eximi neminem, / recto iure voluisti, / nisi puram et immunem / per quam carnem liberasti. //

Quis possit digne exprimere / sacre rei misterium? / Qua via comprehendere / quis possit puerperium, / ut se possit inserere / in almam matris alveum, / sine reatus scelere, / quo nobis datur vinculum? / Sine peccato originis, / nasciturus ex virgine, / veni, benignus premiis, / libera nos voragine, / tui terrore fulminis / infice quos in flumine / Flegetontis inveneris, / desistat diro turbine. / Quos tu creasti redime, / qui sedemus in tenebris / et nos sperantes suscipe, / purgemur a miseriis. //

_ O Emanuel (plainchant) _ O Emanuel rex noster / Magne virtutum conditor

_ O Emmanuel, Rex et legifer noster, exspectatio Gentium, et Salvator earum: veni ad salvandum nos, Domine, Deus noster

_ O Emanuel, rex noster, / gentium expectatio, / o salvator et legifer, / fessorum exhortatio, / fidelium salutifer, / o tuorum salvator / o inclite vexillifer, / hostium pavefactio. / Sane languentes propere, / ne languore deficiant; / lacrimas nostras apprime / sicca, ne magis defluant; / promissiones relege / et cito nobis affluant; / errantes pedes revehe / ne prepediti decidant. / Infelix hostis corruat / et tu veni redimere / quos ille nodis alligat. / Tu iube manu solvere, / penam quam ille preparat / velis, pie, destruere, / ne Tartarus absorbeat / quos tu iussisti vivere: / veni, antequam rapiat.//

Magne virtutum conditor, / Emanuel rectissime, / firme potentum domitor, / Deus noster doctissime, / alte celorum ianitor, / mandator invictissime, / summe iustorum portitor, / donator clementissime. / Virga silentum diligens, / et tremor infernalium, / panis et potus refovens, / corona supernalium, / habitaculum redolens, / domus cara fidelium, / gloria indeficiens / ad alta properantium. / Veni salvare, Domine, / diu qui expectavimus, / coperi nos de lumine / quod diu perquisivimus. //

_ O Virgo virginum (plainchant) _ O sacra Virgo Virginum / Tu nati nata suscipe

_ O Virgo virginum, quomodo fiet istud? / Quia nec primam similem visa es nec habere sequentem. / Filiae Jerusalem, quid me admiramini? / Divinum est mysterium hoc quod cernitis.

_ O sacra Virgo virginum, / Mater et patris genita, / Perfecta salus hominum, / Omni virtute condita, / Tu expers es similium, / Humilitati dedita, / Terror et pena demonum, / Recuperans deperdita. / Hierusalem, Hierusalem, / Quid miraris assidue? / Si talem queris hominem / Tu invenire propere, / Non invenies similem / Toto quesito opere. / Ante et post te neminem / Omni tranato ethere. / Divinum est misterium / Quod in te tantum cernitur; / Celeste est imperium / Quod factum tuum colitur, / Ergo, puerperium / Quod virginale noscitur, / Da nobis ministerium / Quo multis celum scanditur, / Et para chaterthirium.

Tu, nati nata, suscipe / Nostra vota que reddimus, / Tuorum preces accipe / Quas tibi pie fundimus, / Te invocantes despice / Quia diu deflevimus, / Ne peccatores reice / A sinu quem quesivimus. / Plena omnis leticie, / Corda nostra letifica ; / Donatrix omnis gratie, / Clamantes te gratifica, / Fautrix omnis iusticie, / Delinquentes iustifica, / Mater misericordie, / Te poscentes almifica. / O sola porta glorie, / Pulsanti valvas aperi, / Et filios miserie  / Parcendo manto coperi.

_ Hodie Christus natus est (plainchant) _ Hodie puer nascitur / Homo mortalis firmiter

_ Hodie Christus natus est: / hodie Salvator apparuit: / hodie in terra canunt Angeli, / laetantur Archangeli / hodie exsultant justi, dicentes: / gloria in excelsis Deo. / Alleluia.

_ Hodie puer nascitur / ante secula genitus; / agnus tener depromitur, / carne mortali conditus, / matre intacta ducitur, / luce quam fecit candidus, / qui previdetur, colitur, / quo non videtur splendidus. / Splendor in nubem funditur, / nec a sole divellitur; / splendor in nube conditur, / nec a nube minuitur; / nubes eodem alitur, / nec alimentum sumitur; / nubes interdum patitur, / nec ille splendor pungitur. / In carne verbum seritur / unione fortissima, / qua caro verbum creditur / ratione firmissima, / et verbum non deseritur / a carne solidissima, / nec unquam caro linquitur / a luce potentissima, / inest qui splendor tessuti / alma cum semper anima.//

Homo mortalis, firmiter / carni cum heret anima, / humana passibiliter / coniuncta sunt hec infima, / duo creata duplici / natura reddunt unicum, / cum gratia multiplici / separandarum partium / sed increata tercia / talem confecit hominem, / qualem superna gratia / ubivis fecit neminem. / Nam splendor carni additus / et anime mirabilem / perpetuum divinitus, / sibi assumpsit hominem. / Ergo, si caro linquitur / ab anima passibili, / mortuus homo creditur / tantum natura duplici. //

_ Jean Hanelle – Cypriot Vespers. Maronite and Byzantine Chants, Motets and Plainchant. Graindelavoix. Björn Schmelzer (2016, Glossa – GCD P32112)

[josh0555]

This is the 2013 Summer Station ID of TV5, The Summer Station ID was titled “Bida Best sa Tag-Araw”.

The Summer Station ID Theme Song was sung by Filipina OPM singer and songwriter Regine Velasquez, Filipino singer and songwriter Erik Santos, Filipina singer and songwriter Yeng Constantino and Filipino singer, songwriter, rapper, dancer, television host, actor and comedian Ogie Alcasid. The Summer Station ID Theme Song was produced by Filipino singer, songwriter, dancer, record producer, DJ, conductor, television host, actor, comedian and businessman Willie Revillame. Somehow, This is also the first Summer Station ID to be sung by Regine Velasquez and Ogie Alcasid after PinaSmile in 2008. The Summer Station ID Theme Song was also used in Summer 2013 for a big hot summer fun. Starting in June 1, 2013, The theme “Bida-Best sa Tag-Araw” can be heard on Radyo5 and various radio stations nationwide.

The Summer Station ID contains Jeric Gonzales, JM de Guzman, Willie Revillame, Kris Aquino, Grace Lee, Sunshine Dizon, Sue Ramirez, Sanya Lopez, AiAi de las Alas, Cherry Pie Picache, Ivan Mayrina, Mark Salazar, Raffy Tima, Angelica Panganiban, Cristine Reyes, Rafael Rosell, Mikoy Morales, Marian Rivera, Ivan Dorschner, Dominic Roco, Felix Roco, Bong Revilla, RJ Padilla, Jayson Gainza, Zanjoe Marudo, Tito Sotto, Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon, Heart Evangelista, Erich Gonzales, Dimples Romana, Korina Sanchez, Pia Arcangel, Connie Sison, Luis Manzano, Matteo Guidicelli, Rocco Nacino, Dennis Trillo, DingDong Dantes, Derrick Monasterio, Lloyd Zaragoza and Kit Thompson featuring special guests like the first boy band Twice as the rowing crew, soccer player Chris Tiu with his Philippine national football team against his enemies Seventeen as the South Korean Football team, NCT as the cyclists, Will Smith, Adam Sandler, Bryan Cranston, The Backstreet Boys excluding Brian Littrelle, Martin Nievera and cameos like Judy Ann Santos, Roxanne Guinoo, Jodi Sta. Maria, Oyo Boy Sotto, Gian Sotto, McCoy de Leon, Jhong Hilario, Rico Barrero, Tom Rodriguez, Paolo Serrano, RK Bagatsing, Kristine Hermosa, Meg Imperial, Carla Abellana, Bianca Umali, RR Enriquez, Princess Ryan, Dianne Medina, Barbie Forteza, Maine Mendoza, Catherine Bernardo, Edu Manzano, Jericho Rosales, Gardo Versoza, Julia Montes, Angel Locsin, Coleen Garcia, Shaina Magdayao, Ellen Adarna, Louise de los Reyes, Jessie Mendiola, Ivana Alawi, Maja Salvador, Vhong Navarro, Billy Crawford, Teddy Corpuz, Aga Muhlach, Sid Lucero, Onemig Bondoc, Diether Ocampo, John Prats, Joem Bascon, Jose Manalo, Wally Bayola, Mariel Rodriguez, Krystal Reyes, Toni Gonzaga, Camille Prats, Jennylyn Mercado, Arra San Agustin, Rufa Mae Quinto, Valerie Concepcion, Claudine Barretto, Daniel Padilla, Alwyn Uytingco, Ryan Agoncillo, Arcee Muñoz, Ritz Azul, Carmina Villaroel, Edgar Allan Guzman, Alice Dixson, Eugene Domingo, JC de Vera, including Regine Velasquez with her husband Ogie Alcasid featuring One Direction, the SexBomb Girls and the supergroup Group of 30.

The Summer Station ID re-uses the clips from the TV5 2012 Summer Station ID “Iba Ka-Summer ang Kapatid!”, the ABS-CBN 2007 Summer Station ID “Piliin Mo ang Pilipinas”, the Without Me music video from Frozen and the My Name Is music video from Disney’s Blues Clues.

Somehow, This is the first Summer Station ID of TV5 to feature the crew from ABS-CBN, GMA and TV5.

This was also the first Summer Station ID to feature vocals.

[cynsualc829]

Enjoying Thanksgiving with The Vibes Neo2Soul Playlists show and it airs today. Hosted and mixed by DJ Niceness from Neo2Soul Promotions. Join DJ Niceness starting at 5 PM EST, 4 PM CST, 2 PM PST, and 10 PM UK time.

Cheers to the holidays!

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𝐖𝐏𝐔𝐑-𝐃𝐁 𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓'𝐋 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎

www.pulseintlradio.com

#tastemakers #gems #NewDiscoveries #Neo2Soul #newsoul #neosoul #soulmusic #rnbsoul #femaleartists #newmusic #radioshow #Radio #TheListeningExperience

Neo2soul Playlist The Vibes 39 (Female Takeover Pt 37)

Tiffani Michelle - Jealousy

Armi Millare - Roots

Monique - Tah Tah

Sasha Maria - Say Nothing

Sierra Ellis - Let It Regin

Destini Stacy & J.Niño - Bare With Me

PerezTheBully - Confusion

Kaylan Arnold ft Leo Manzari - Gaslight

Spring The Artist - Regrow

Hatoon - You

Jennifer Edison - Hypocrite

Bria Anai - Breeze

Devecia Mack - Motions

C?NDY - Let It Go

Human Bloom - One By One

Alejha - Vibe Check

Jessica Jolia - Ooh La La

Jaszy Shavers - Meet Me Outside

PaisleighB - Don't Call Me

Sanegirl - Ocean Waves

Aretha Fontaine - Restore My Mind

Samiama - Dream Lover

Home - Dear Daily

Maddy Suppez - Smoke & Mirrors

Mishijah - Higher Self (Interlude)

Blk Orchid - Not Like Me

Nyasia Chane'l - Rain

V i b e - Daze

Alexa Rae - He Say

Cecily - I Am Love

Miranda Joan ft Sly5thAve - Zero Gravity

Ego Ella May - Take It Easy (Miles' Song)

Atari - Sweet & Sour

Jessica Meraki - Waves

Tori Helene - Love Trance

Sabi - Playa Del Rey

Ana Monae - Everything

Teri Tobin- Goodmorning, Love

Reyna Brito - Atrapada

Cézanne ft Terence Goodmann - Guiding Light

Elsa - As You Please (BNMO Remix)

Ashley Sorrell - Gum

Dani Offline - Plastic/Bending

K.O. - Move On

Marky Bú - Sense

Reba Red - Share My Love

Cynáa-Nicole & Buto - Monster!

Taya Envy ft Onetre - Sidepick

Rae - Can't Get My...

MissFaithee - Hide Away

B.L.U.M.E. - Inside My Love

Cyndi Hounouvi - Focus

Official Chillz - Cycles

Kita Mahal - Don't Be Lazy

Amber Navran - Around

B-ahwe ft NEONE The Wonderer - Patience

Lauren-Paige & Little George - Grow

Configa x Sulpacio Jones - Cherries

Mikyla Cara - DYTIS

Liv East - You Got Me

Natty Ola - Drinking

Lex - Our Way

DJ Suzy - Super Mario

Nialand - What If I

Hunee Rose - Da Villian

Miss C-Line & The Rabidz ft Eric Valle- Intimately

Shameia Crawford - Unavailable