#raTTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGE

[hollowistheworld]

There are already so many delicious meta posts on everyone's specific thoughts on what's going on in Illario's head, but I am jumping in myself because he and Lucanis are making me CRAZY

I think that soooo much of his jealousy is that he and Lucanis get treated as a binary. Damn near every time Lucanis talks about something he is or isn't good at, he brings up how Illario is the opposite. It isn't just that they're constantly being compared (already something that's going to be super damaging to both of them and their relationship) but there's such a strong sense that they're not allowed to overlap.

Like, Lucanis is better at physical combat? Okay, so Illario is bad at it. It doesn't matter that he's still very good, that's he's good enough to still be a living, working Crow at the ripe old age of 30+, as a member of the First Talon's family no less. It doesn't matter that he's good enough to drop down from the ceiling (when and how did you get up there???) and kill Zara before anyone can register he's there. It doesn't matter that he's still a significant boss, even once you factor out the Venatori. He's worse than Lucanis, so Lucanis is the 'good' assassin and Illario is the 'bad' one.

In the reverse, Lucanis's self-esteem about his social skills is in the DIRT. He is CONSTANTLY bringing up how Illario is the people person. Even when, in the same breath, he says Illario only ever had relationships with people he didn't like and they never lasted, he's still saying Illario is better at it. And because Illario is better with people, he's 'good' at it, and Lucanis is 'bad' at it.

In any discussion with or about Lucanis and Illario there is, apparently, zero overlap in their skill sets. Despite the fact that that's very obviously not true. But they've been set against each other so thoroughly that they don't even realize it. Because presumably Caterina started training them and they had a knack for some skills more than others and rather than encouraging them to teach other or partner up to boost each other's strengths, she was most likely going "Look, Illario, your cousin did that move so much better than you, be more like that," and "Lucanis, Illario perfected this ages ago, it is not that hard to convince someone you're harmless" and all they got was that one of them was the assassin and one of them was the conman and never the two shall meet.

And Caterina, of course, heavily favors Lucanis. And I imagine there's a million reasons why - starting with the fact that it sounds like his mother was the last favorite. (And how can Illario compete with that? He'll never be the son of the favorite.) But I think a big reason is Lucanis's skill set. Maybe he's the most like her. Maybe she thinks if he's good in combat, he won't die like all the others did. Has she just written Illario off as a lost cause, certain to get himself killed? Not consciously, I'm sure, but subconsciously? Easy to imagine. Easy for Illario to feel that way, whether it's true or not.

And then!! He's being babysat! This idea that Lucanis is the one who can fight (and therefore Illario cannot) has taken hold so deeply that Lucanis feels like he has to look out for Illario, has to protect him, and of course that's bundled up in the 'we're all we have left' but when you're suffocating under the weight of your cousin being a mother hen that feels much less sympathetic. And when you're a 30+ assassin it's gonna feel pretty aggravating if everyone acts like you need your cousin to help you tie your shoes in the morning.

And I don't think either of them realize this. Introspection is not a Crow skill. All Illario knows is he can't be a good assassin while Lucanis is alive, because only one of them can be a good assassin. And that built and built and I think the opportunity to have Lucanis killed crossed his path, and he - Well, despite what Caterina might think, he is a very good Crow. So he took the opportunity. And then he couldn't go back.

And what does he have, under this binary? At least the good fighter, the good assassin, can have a talent for other athletic work, a passion for knives. At least the favorite can find another hobby without feeling grandmother breathing down his neck, asking why he's learning a new skill when he hasn't even mastered the important one. What's under a conman, a grifter, a politician? Sure, he can make people like him, but he can he ever connect with them enough to like them back? Does he know who he is? Would he know where to begin to try and find out?

I'd argue that - whether he knows it or not - is the biggest reason he tried to have Lucanis killed. He doesn't know who he is other than Caterina's least favorite grandson, Lucanis's cousin. He doesn't know how to find out.

[kav3h]

rkgk… GUYS WERE GETTING AN OFFICIAL TRANSLATION

[y4rdbird]

I’m so so so normal about sora

[b0nelessdoodles]

started this before mystic flour dropped and then was too busy trying to pull her to finish this lmao anyway tfw you and the besties are going nuts or something

[the-data-files]

I really wish I was in Starfleet because my autistic ass would have the best time ever. Special interest? There’s even a career path for it, go nuts. Masking at work? No need, Vulcans made it clear that a resting bitch face is absolutely appropriate in space. Stimming in public? Dude, there has been way weirder things happening today than just little old me, flapping my hands or making clicking noises. There’s a weird space orb floating around, maybe it’s some kind of new species that wants to make first contact, nobody cares if I continue to repeat the ad for Daisy’s Daring Disruptors (the one with the annoying jingle)

[skibasyndrome]

ANOTHER new Omar song

[iceylights]

i think when i’m red and you’re still red… we can have fun. again.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

you made it onto a gianni stream did you know this.

INEEDTOLEAVE IGOTTAGETOUTTAHERE

[whitegoldtower]

My Mairon obsession has been kicked off again, I’d eat that little freak

*flings chair across the Utumno throne room*

GIVE ME THE GINGER I WANT HIM

[muppetjohntavares]

(Picture credit to Jeff Vinnick and Icon Sportswire)

[resting-on-my-laurels]

Ghost General Feng Xin- Inspired by @kimbapchan's amazing design

[ofcrystalsandart]

i know no one will probably relate but I love Rainbow/Shadow High dolls so much

everytime i see a doll on sale that i really want i feel like i need to start chewing on metal not to black out and buy it like plEASE these girlies are so cute they are one of the few things left that give me serotonin boosts at this point

[pompkween]

I'm barkin at Ascended Astarion's response to blood scientist lady in act 3 help dkhfhejfhhs

[pixiishi]

a guy and his dog 💥

ID in ALT

[stonedstargazer666]

Another fabulous video from my friend Veil on X of our Godking II drinking they truly got the holy grail of II content I think heheh

@inv3ga check it

[queenofthedamnedlostboys]

Feral Thoughts 🥵🥵🥵

This man makes all of my morals leave my body 🥵😍