#quincy warriors

[spontaneous-aus]

Au where Jake goes to live with Talltail in Windclan. In my brand of AU, Jake takes Tiny with him, as Quincy speaks to him before he goes. She noticed Tiny wasn't getting along with his siblings, nor did he like the idea of being adopted. So he may live better in the clans with his father. Jake accepts, and raises him with Tallstar.

[otterlytired]

Back when trolls 3 first came out I was going feral over it so I designed some of the characters as WCA characters

[bleachbleachbleach]

Quincy? In MY dead people show? It's more likely than you think!

I was rewatching an episode of Six Feet Under, one of my top-fave shows in this world, and one of the characters said, "I talked to the Quincy down at the morgue" and I was like, wait.

tf is a Quincy

Courtesy of Google, I learned it was a pop culture reference to the medical examiner down at the morgue, after the 70s/80s show, Quincy, M.E.

Does everyone else just know about this show naturally? Why did no one tell me?? Era/vibe-wise this aligns with a lot of Kubo's reference points (also lol that the Japanese air title was Doctor Detective Quincy, amazing), and blah blah Isshin's proto-canon career as mortician, a profession that would closely with MEs even without the shinigami thing; I feel like Kubo was definitely aware.

But setting that aside, the idea that I'm most interested in came while I was thinking about the fact that the SFU the character who said the line would have grown up while Quincy, M.E. was airing, and that that leads into why M.E.->Quincy a reference he'd easily make. (Also he's a restorative artist for a funeral home, but--) He's a little older than Ichigo et al, but I feel like Isshin definitely watched this show. And I just feel like, in-universe, this show played like a Bond Movie Marathon in the Kurosaki house. Like, pump the bass on that Asahi TV rerun. (Also, Quincy M.E.'s assistant is Japanese Canadian!) Ryuuken did not of his own volition see this show, but of course was aware of it. I just love the idea that the creation of "Quincy" as a pop culture term, as a reference to the interstices of death/doctors--regardless of whether it originated with THE Quincy or if they were only weathering serendipities of television--was circulating in the world like that, stage whispering about the ongoing existence of Quincy.

[kubfoo]

So… I came here, because I love you, and I brought you those flowers, because I love you.

spidercoral for @talesofgladesglory ... this is from february but i still love it

Patreon | Ko-fi | Commissions | Shop

[guitar-hero-stuff]

[pepperclaw]

quincy

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, how exactly was the Gotei 13 formed in AEIWAM?

(The original gotei-13 captains might have canon genders but I'm going off vibes tbh.) (Here's a collection of Kubo's art of the original 13 so you can see what everyone looks like)

-----

It had started with the Clans.

Actually, it had started when Shigekuni Yamamoto was mugged for the fourth time in as many days, by agents of The Great Noble Houses, trying to influence the tide of their endless petty wars. You could hardly blame him for reacting as he did, somewhat literally blowing up with rage, and upon his return to his home office, rallying his fellow distraught men into a fighting force to stand up to the clans.

It had been quite a popular manuver for him, with the equally distraught and downtrodden citizens of the central rukongai threw their support behind him in short order. He was already well-known to them, and respected for his work. In a few short years, his meager forces had grown to rival the clans in power.

Then the Quincies had invaded the Spirit World, lead by some horrible creature known as Yhwach, seemingly Hell-Bent on conquest- which is where all of them would end up if The Archery Bastards kept shooting everything that moved and upended the balance between the worlds.

Now-General Shigekuni Yamamoto, the unfortunate bastard to whom the task of defending the largest city in the Spirit world from invasion had fallen, needed some muscle.

Why me, of all people? Surely there were others more qualified? He wondered, staring at the latest round of reports from the meager handful of his men that remained. Or perhaps everyone smart enough to actually do this is also smart enough to realize it was a lost cause and had thrown their lot in with one of the Noble Houses, and I am on a fool's errand.

Even just a handful of warriors with sufficient strength could break the leading edge of the Quincy line, and let the small army that remained slip behind them in to cut the Quincies off from their supply lines. It was just that breaking the wall of archers required at least a dozen of him.

"Word from lieutenant Sasakibe!" Shouted one of his soldiers, sprinting in the door and thrusting a letter at him. "Sorry sir I just remembered how important it was that you heard from him as soon as possible."

"You did as I asked." Yamamoto nodded, opening the letter. He had needed to stay- both to recover from his injuries and because if the Quincy got much closer, using Ryujin jakka to create a wall of fire around the city might be the only way to hold them off- and he had tasked Chojiro Sasakibe, his Longest and Dearest friend, with finding him the strongest warriors in Soul Society.

He took the scroll and opened it, reading the neat but excitably slanted handwriting within-

Dearest Shigekuni,

I am relieved to report I have found a dozen extremely powerful warriors per your request! I went on a hunch a friend of mine had, and found a concentration of MANY powerful warriors that would be willing to aid our cause, but twelve among them are particularly standout candidates. Given the rapid advance of the Quincy Army, I have included a teleportation spell to their location at the end of this scroll so you may meet them immediately.

"Incredible!" Yamamoto laughed. "Is there nothing this man cannot do?"

I do beg of you though- Please, reserve your judgement of them until you have seen their capacity.

"Ah." Yamamoto sighed. "...of course there's a catch."

Their circumstances are... complex, and this has made many of them rough and peculiar to speak to, but I swear we will not find better warriors, at least not before the Quincy advance reaches Seireitei.

I await your arrival, Chojiro

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll a bit more to see the edge of the teleportation spell that would activate when exposed to sunlight. "Sir?" asked the young soldier.

"It seems Sasakibe was successful in finding me the assistance we need, but they are apparently a queer lot." Yamamoto rumbled, thinking. "There is a teleportation spell- How close did you say the Advance was?"

"Not more than a week out, sir."

"Hopefully less than two hours then." he grunted, standing up and carrying the scroll to the courtyard of the building he operated from- it was a place used to the many comings and goings of a large and complex organization, though the little Shrine to the God of Messages and messengers had been somewhat neglected of late. Yamamoto took a moment to sweep the leaves out of the shrine and bowed to the statue within, thanking it for delivering Sasakibe's message and asking for help delivering him to his friend.

"Any orders while you're away, Sir?" The soldier asked.

"Someone clean out that shrine and make it a proper offering. The last thing we need is for communications to go down." The General nodded.

"Yes Sir!" the soldier saluted.

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll and with a flash, vanished from the courtyard.

---

With the same flash, he appeared somewhere... foggy.

"Shigekuni?" a familiarly crisp voice asked somewhere in the ether.

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto called back, and the vague shape that might have been a rock in front of him stood up, arms open. He laughed, and embraced his friend. "Good job! How did you find them so fast?"

Sasakibe's warm smile suddenly stiffened into a grimace. "...Promise you will not be angry?"

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto frowned.

"See, I was asking my friends- only the most trusted of them, I swear- how to even go about finding warriors with everything scattered to the wind of late, and well- One of them suggested that only things that are powerful are widely feared, so look where fearsome things are to find powerful ones."

Yamamoto squinted at his friend, then around them at the dense fog, the strange rocky cliff beside them, and the distant sound of angry voices.

"Chojiro." Yamamoto asked, hands on his shoulders. "Where are we?"

Sasakibe pointed up behind Yamamoto where characters had been carved into the stone cliff.

The Nest Of Maggots

"Chojiro."

"Yes, sir?"

"This is a prison."

"Yes, sir."

"This is a prison for the kind of filth that even the most bitterly factious clans agree is a danger to have wandering around. The kind that they already tried and failed to weaponize against each other. This is a prison for Monsters."

"...Yes, sir." Sasakibe sighed. "-But, is is not monsters we need?"

Yamamoto was silent for a time, thinking of the swathes of pointless destruction- salted fields and burnt villages- of the senseless loss of life- slaughtering soldier and civilian alike down to the last man, woman and child- of the cruel and twisted powers of the chosen favorites of Yhwach.

"Monsters to fight monsters." He shook his head. "What is this world coming to?" Yamamoto sighed.

Sasakibe looked away, unable to meet his friend's gaze. "Still, beggars can't be choosers." Yamamoto nodded. "Show them to me."

--- All twelve "Most Dangerous" of The Nest's prisoners had been herded together into something approximating a straight line in the middle of the rocky cavern that housed the prisoners here, though some of them were already beginning to meander, and one woman near the end of the line had, rather rudely, decided to remain seated in Yamamoto's presence. The lineup was... less than impressive. Two of the women looked like they belonged on pinup posters rather than death row. One of the men looked like a washed-up Sumo, another like an ashtray that had been cursed to roam the afterlife as a human. On one end of the line was an ancient and decrepit old man, and on the other was a- Yamamoto wasn't actually sure if they were a man or a woman, but in another life, they had definitely been a cat.

"These are the most powerful fighters in the Spirit World?"  He muttered to Chojiro.

"These are the most still-alive-est fighters in the Spirit World." Chojiro clarified.

"...Fuck it. " Yamamoto sighed under his breath, before stepping forward and addressing them properly.

"I am General Shigekuni Yamamoto of The Seireitei. I don't know how long you've been in this hole-" Yamamoto paused, sensing that something was off.

None of the Prisoners were looking at him. In fact, the all seemed very dedicated to looking everywhere but at him. Some were inspecting the stalactites, others were examining the grit on the cave floor, or staring into the metaphysical abyss somewhere just over his shoulder, and one man had pulled his very silly straw hat down in front of his face.

"-Alright, what the hell is going on?" Yamamoto growled.

There was a general unenthusiastic sort of shuffling and a distinct lack of answers.

"Remember everyone!" The man next to the cat-in-human-form spoke up while examining his fingernails. He looked more like an accountant than someone who belonged on Death Row, but the others perked up and paid attention. "-We are not to speak to any guards of visitors until our representative arrives and has given us permission to do so." The others nodded and resumed looking anywhere but at Yamamoto.

"...Representative?" Sasakibe lightly growled at a guard, whose complexion went from 'ashen' to 'deathly'.

"They um. Well. They've gotten rather close to one of the other prisoners, but she's no good in a fight, so we left her-" The Guard sputtered under Sasakibe's withering glare.

"-Miss Tsubaki was waiting at the Primary gate last I saw her." continued the man who looked like an accountant and that Yamamoto was becoming increasingly sure was armed, despite allegedly having been searched and denied any tools in his confinement. "...I say to no-one in particular." He added.

There was a moment of silence.

Yamamoto struck the tired-looking, gray-haired young woman beside the accountant, sending her stumbling back, but the accountant and the sturdily-built blonde man beside her stepped in to catch her, the rest of the line snapping to attention, eyes fixed on him with utter rage.

"Now that I have your attention-" Yamamoto started again, the gray-haired woman coughing as the sturdy blonde helped her back to her feet. "-As I was saying, the Spirit World is being invaded, and you're all being conscripted to-"

"Yachiru!" Snapped a young woman behind them.

Yamamoto turned to glare at the interloper, but instead found that the gaunt-looking woman that had remained seated had somehow apparently teleported and tackled Sasakibe to the wall behind them, one arm pressed to his throat, slowly choking him. Apparently-Yachiru's other hand had put some substantial holes in his abdomen and she paused from where she was about to stark licking Sasakibe's blood off her fingers to look at who had spoken.

"Don't eat that! You don't know where it's been!" Said a waifish young woman in threadbare prisoner's robes who could not have been taller than 4'10". She was quite striking, with large, dark eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a long aquiline nose. She took Yachiru's bloodied hand and dragged her back to the group. Yamamoto tried to keep his pace even as he walked over to check on Sasakibe, who immediately sat up and waved him off.

"...Thirsty." Grunted Yachiru- She might also have been beautiful, with her pale, round face and smooth black hair, were it not for the haunted, carnivorous look in her eye and her apparently literal bloodthirst. She stopped halfway back to the group to give a wet, hacking cough that made Yamamoto's skin crawl, and spat out a gob of bloody phlegm on the floor.

"You'll feel better when you get Minazuki back." the young woman reassured her, helping Yachiru sit back down, the others taking seats on the stone floor as well, in two neat lines behind her, the Human Cat behind one shoulder, the Accountant behind the other. "Is everyone else alright?"

"Kinroku definitely did not tell the guards to go get you." announced the man from behind his straw hat. "Also the mean old man hit Chigiri."

"I understand. Do you need assistance, Chigiri?

"The Old Goat has a sucker-punch like a rocket but I'll live." grunted Chigri, rubbing her abdomen and waving her hand interrogatively at Yachiru, who shrugged in reply.

"Despicable Behavior, hitting a medic." the human ashtray sniffed disapprovingly. Yamamoto could feel the Reiatsu of the group now, previously held in check, now starting to unfurl and growl and snarl at him.

"You BASTARDS-!" Yamamoto snarled, lunging towards the young woman, who instinctively made a fist in front of her chest, grabbed it with her other hand, and swung her whole body around, slamming her elbow into his eye socket and nose, and he stumbled, falling to his knees. It wasn't that hard a hit, not compared to what he was used to, but there was genuine killing intent behind it, much like the heel she struck into the side of his head, knocking him over the rest of the way in surprise. Miss Tsubaki's large, dark eyes were full of rage as she glared down at him, grinding his head into the floor under her toes. "Ah." He said, finally recognizing her from images in the intermittent news bulletins. Tsubaki was a middle daughter of one of the most powerful of the Noble Houses who had suddenly vanished from public view the year before. The rumor was that she had been imprisoned by her father for dangerous activities like 'Going Places' and 'Writing Letters' or even 'Having Opinions'. It was apparently true, but if she'd managed to organize the dirtiest dozen of the Maggot's Nest, he was beginning to understand her father's choice of internment. "Miss Tsunayashiro, I presume."

"I am her, and I am here in my capacity as their Union Representative. This means you do not talk to them. You talk to me." She lightly snarled, removing her surprisingly sharp-heeled foot from his temple and sitting seiza in front of the group. "Now what is it that you have brought us here to discuss?"

"Your friends are getting conscripted." he glared, slowly getting up and standing to address her. Returning the blow to a civilan, no matter who her family was or how hard she hit, was beneath either of their dignity, but a little looming was alright.

"We're getting hired." She corrected him. "With proper contracts and compensation."

"Shut up or else." He snarled, reconsidering the value of his dignity.

"...Or else what, exactly?" She asked.

Yamamoto bristled, and slowly drew his sword. Tsunayashiro's gaze flicked to the blade, following it's gleam as he brought it up to her throat, tipping her chin up with the point. "-Or you will all die right here." Tsubaki closed her eyes, sighed deeply and opened them again, gaze fixed on his. He could feel her pulse through Ryujin Jakka's blade.

...Steady as a rock.

"Alright." She spoke evenly. "Strike me down."

Yamamoto blinked.

"We are already on Death Row, General." She explained slowly as though speaking to an idiot. "None of us have families to speak of, or to speak to, for you to threaten. We're already cold and barely allowed to sleep and starving and in constant pain from broken bones or missing organs or untreated injuries. We are all already doomed to die or suffer gross abasement. You, however-"

She slowly stood up, neck sliding a bit on Ryujin Jakka's blade, drawing a trickle of blood.

"-I've been in here for the better part of a year, I believe, but news trickles in. Guards leave to replace soldiers fallen on the battlefield. Rations dwindle as farmland is overrun or destroyed. Political prisoners are freed and returned home as more popular heirs and scions are killed. You, General Shigekuini Yamamoto, need help with this war, and need it badly, to come here for it." Tsubaki continued, stepping forward and pressing a bit more into the blade, the trickle running more strongly, down her throat and into the folds of her thin Yukakta, staining the fabric bright red.

"So go on. Strike us down." She spoke softly. "Spare us the Humiliation of a Public execution or the horrors of a lobotomy, and doom yourself."

Yamamoto, quite possibly for the first time in his life, hesitated.

"If you cannot do that, sit down and negotiate like a civilized person." She said. The blood stained her entire breast now, but she did not flinch or waver.

Slowly, glaring and refusing to break eye contact, he withdrew his blade, wiped it down and sheathed it. Teeth gritted and heart unexpectedly racing, he sat. Lady Tsunayashiro followed, head still held high, though that may have been so Chigiri could lean forward and press a pad of torn robe to her throat, stemming the bleeding as she bandaged it, muttering curses.

"We're being invaded by an army of mutant humans called "Quincy" who can shoot arrows made of pure reishi, which can obliterate a soul entirely. They're lead by some monster called Yhwach, who seems hell-bent on conquering the entirety of the Living and Spirit worlds, and is apparently capable of killing small gods and Kami." Yamamoto explained, trying to stress the depth of the situation. He'd never been in a labor negotiation before, and was hoping they'd be more reasonable if he made an emotional appeal. "Kill enough of the archery bastards and live, and I'll have all your crimes pardoned."

"What a shame, what a shame." clucked the old man at the far end of the lines. "You young people just don't know how to handle things..."

"Hmmm..." The person who was definitely at least spiritually a cat pursed their lips. "Oh, uh- Chika Shihon." the bowed their head. "-It's a good start, but I'm gonna need a hell of a payday, seeing as nobody will hire an ex-criminal, even a pardoned one, and about forty more people need to die before my family will consider taking me back in."

"As well as some form of protection from political reprisals, or there won't be an opportunity to spend any of that payday." said Kinroku the Accountant, rubbing his nose like he was going to push up a pair of glasses he wasn't wearing.

"Paying criminals? Surely, you can't be serious!" Sasakibe scoffed.

"I am serious, and my name is Tsubaki, not Shirley." The representative quietly smirked at him. "Well, General? What price are you willing to offer for the salvation of all of Soul Society?"

"I want to see some proof before we talk price." Yamamoto glared at the Death Row From The Dumpster before him.

"Fair enough." Nodded Tsubaki, turning her head to address the group. "After me, who would you all say is the weakest fighter?"

The group considered this for a moment.

"Strongest is easy, its Yachiru, even with the missing lung." waved the pinup girl with the eyepatch and pigtails.

"Give Uhin some credit!" Protested the other pinup girl with the tits that were individually larger than her head.

"That's sweet of you to say Batsu-" Uhin the Giant in the back row laughed, patting the second girl's head. "-But also holy shit, no. Yachiru could disembowel me and strangle me with my own intestines before I could get off the mark! No offense little man, but I think it's Furuoki." He said, patting the straw hat of the man in front of him.

"Really?" Tits McGee pondered. "I was going to say Nobutsuna."

"I was gonna say me too." announced the human ashtray with a rough and reedy voice. "I hate fighting." "Yeah, but you hit like a fuckin' rockslide. Yeah, it's Furuoki." Agreed eyepatch.

"Mr. Otogawa-" Tsubaki addressed Furuoki the hat man. "-It's rather dark in here, would you please let in some light?"

Furuoki blinked at her, confused.

"Show the old man you can punch a hole in the ceiling." Yachiru translated for him, wetly.

"Okay!" Furuoki chirped happily, getting up and walking a few feet away.

"MORE!" yelled the group.

"Over by the guard tower!" Encouraged the large and rather jolly looking man, save for how he seemed to have lost both his lips and most of the front of his mouth, but had only bothered to replace his missing teeth with gold ones, giving him a permanent lipless grin.

Furuoki walked over towards the guard tower until the guards approached him and told him to back up, paced a bit until he found a suitable middle ground, and squinted up at the ceiling.

"Sir-" Sighed the head guard walking towards Furuoki as frowned at the ceiling. "Sir that's half a mile of solid rock and twelve different magical wards above you. It's not gonna work."

Furuoki instead dropped down on one knee, aimed, and-

A dazzling blue-green light and a noise like the roaring fires of Hell Itself erupted from his fist as he punched up towards the ceiling, vaporizing the stone above him and making all 12 wards chime and tinkle like glass as he broke through them. As the mushroom cloud of dust dispersed, sunlight began to filter in through the hole, at least 100 feet in diameter. The top third of the Guard tower seemed to have evaporated as well, and the guards were scrambling to try to control the panic.

"Is that enough?" Furuoki called.

"...Is it, General?" miss Tsubaki asked.

"...Ten Thousand Kan?" Yamamoto tried.

"That's fine dear, please come sit back down." Tsubaki waved.

"I am surprised, general." She smiled at Yamamoto in a way that reminded him uncomfortably of they way the post office cat would smile at the mice. "Ten Thousand Kan annually per individual is a very reasonable offer."

"A one-time payment of Ten thousand Kan to be split between the group." he growled.

"No." She shook he head. "You're offering us annual salaries, individually."

"The hell I am."

"Then we will enjoy watching the collapse of civilization through the new Skylight Furuoki made us." She replied, unconcerned. "You may have noticed, General, that there is a war on, and this is an exceptionally safe and secure place to be. Make it worth leaving."

"-Two minutes ago this was a frozen hellhole you were all starving in." he glared.

"Ah, but the view and property value has improved substantially in the last two minutes!" She smiled, unconcerned with his complaints. "There is no punishment you could mete out that is worse than remaining here, General, but you are not an advancing army of superhuman mutants, and there are MANY things the Quincy can do to us that are worse than remaining here. You are in a most unenviable position."

Yamamoto grimaced. "You're sure this is the best there is?" he muttered to Sasakibe.

"We could also try swearing loyalty to one noble house and hoping the other four don't try to kill us before the Quincy do." Sasakibe grunted, hand over the puncture wounds in his guts. "I don't like it either. but I like our other options even less."

Yamamoto sighed. "...Five thousand Kan Annually per individual."

"Ten thousand." replied Tsubaki.

"Seven thousand."

"Ten thousand."

"That's not how this is supposed to go." Yamamoto grumbled.

"And yet, this is how it's going." She smirked. "There is also the matter of the political protections!"

"DAMMIT!"

---

Half an hour later, terms had been reached.

Full pardons, Ten Thousand Kan, annually per individual (plus expenses), and political protections in the form of employing them as commanding officers on the condition that they "-Don't get killed, and prove you're smarter than a sack of hammers and at least half as useful."

"No for real, I'll forgive the old man the gut punch, lemme do something so you're not bleedin' all over my contract?" Chigiri sighed, watching Sasakibe write up the contracts.

"I'll trust my body to keep my guts on the right side of my skin over someone's dirty socks." he sighed. "Or do you have something else on hand?"

"Minazuki." Muttered Yachiru, leaning heavily on Chigiri.

"Oh right! I keep forgetting she does the fish thing." Chigiri perked up. "Yeah tell the guards to go get her sword, it turns into a... fuckin' whatsit, the big flat fish? Turns into one of those that can heal anything."

"Again, I trust my own faculties over any sort of Healing Halibut." Chojiro groaned.

"Stingray." Yachiru muttered, wheezing a bit. "Minazuki is a stingray."

"Alright, back in line everyone- I need you all to confirm your identities and what crimes you need pardoned, and to sign your contracts." Sasakibe sighed, standing up with the contracts and handing the first to Yamamoto.

"Shigekuni Yamamoto, Dereliction of duty and Mail-tampering, among other assorted sins." He said, smirking a bit at his own joke as he took the contract.

"Thank you sir." Sasakibe sighed, shuffling the pile of folders containing the files of the dozen criminals, and stepping up to the first one.

"Chika Shihon-" He read off, matching the drawn portrait to the person in front of him- Chika was a rather handsome young thing, with warm bronze skin and short, soft white hair. It was the gleam in their yellow eyes that made Sasakibe worry. "- Sentenced to lifetime imprisonment or death for staging a clan coup, twelve counts of fratricide and... dabbling in forbidden Kido?"

"Oh, like you've never had a family dinner that got out of control!" Chika huffed, indignant.

"I'm more curious about the Kido, actually." Yamamoto said, peering over his file.

Chika beamed and Sasakibe got as far as a choked "NOT HERE-!" before they vanished in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, they were still wearing the same excited expression, but now as a small white house cat.

Sasakibe and Yamamoto stared at the cat for a moment, then at each other in a mutual expression of I can't believe we've been reduced to asking these freaks for help.

"Well, when you've got thumbs again, please read your contract, then sign and initial all the indicated areas, and swipe your blood across the bottom." Sasakibe sighed, bending over to hand the kitty their contract. "Remember, these contracts are legally and magically binding. Betray us, and die immediately."

"Next is- Kinroku Izuhara-" Sasakibe was interrupted by one of guards appearing with the confiscated personal belongings of the prisoners, including an entire bundle of swords under his arm.

"I understand not giving us our weapons until the contracts are signed and the seal is placed upon us, but may I have my glasses back?" Kinroku asked, voice crisp and arch. He was certainly the least ragged-looking of the group, his graying hair still neatly trimmed and face clean-shaven.

Yamamoto held out a hand and the guard placed the appropriate glasses in his palm. "Trade you for whatever you have that's kept you so clean-shaven it's making my mustache itch." Yamamoto glared.

Kinroku smirked, and produced a piece of bone that had been exquisitely sharpened into a razor's edge.

"This is a human bone." Yamamoto observed.

"Unfortunately, poorer quality than the bones of pigs or cattle in terms of holding an edge, but it's done it's job." Kinrku nodded.

"...This says you're on death row for ...Tax Evasion?" Sasakibe glared at the file as the blade was traded for the glasses.

"Yes. I made an unfortunate miscalculation regarding the loyalty of my men, so I am glad you are taking adequate precautions." Kinroku muttered, cleaning his glasses on his robe, holding them up to the dim sunlight filtering through the hole, and frowning, disappointed.

"Men?" Yamamoto asked. "You've had experience commanding armed forces before?"

"After a fashion." he said, signing the contract and biting into his thumb to finish the deal. "You've heard of The Vipers of the southern reaches?"

"The decentralized bandit gang that disbanded a few years back? I thought their leader had died?" Sasakibe frowned.

Kinroku smirked at him.

"...Oh, for fuckssake." Sasakibe groaned.

"Chigiri Shijima." Yamamoto read off, having already moved on. "...What the hell kind of charge is Aggravated Medical Research?"

"Can't make an emergency field medicine manual omlette without breaking a few bones. And causing a few disembowelments. And poking out a few eyes." She explained.

Yamamoto slowly arched an eyebrow at her.

"I PUT 'EM ALL BACK!" Chigiri protested. "...Eventually."

"Read. Sign. Blood." Yamamoto sighed, handing her the contract.

"For real though, your man okay? I can have those stitched in under a minute." Chigiri pointed her thumb at Sasakibe.

"That's some fast-acting painkillers." Sasakibe noted.

"What painkillers?" Chigiri asked, genuinely confused.

"...I'll take my chances with the halibut." Sasakibe winced, turning to the next man in line. "Danjiro Obana?"

"Yeah!" Grinned the sturdy-looking blonde man, all smiles and friendliness now that an agreement had been reached. "Lookin' forward to workin' with you guys!"

"...Imprisoned for cannibalism?" Sasakibe asked, horrified.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Danjiro hollered, voice echoing around the cavern.

"How do you accidentally consume human flesh?" Yamamoto glared.

"Well- okay it wasn't an 'accident' per se, but look, that Ise Clan guy locked me in the family mausoleum to die, and understandably, I got the munches, and the coffins were fulla, eh... post-sapient jerky?" Danjiro explained. "I really don't know what he expected to happen. Really surprised when he opened up the door a month later and I gut punched his spine out though. I don't regret that one bit."

"You know? That's fair." decided Sasakibe, handing him a contract. "Read, sign, blood."

"Yessir!" Danjiro saluted happily.

"Furufoshi Saito?" Yamamoto asked the young woman with the purple pigtails and eyepatch that was next in line.

"I DID NOT 'KIDNAP' HIM, HE'S MY HUSBAND AND THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF PRICKS!" She roared.

Yamamoto blinked at her, then leaned over to read "Accused of Abducting and 'Deflowering' the eldest son of the Kuchiki clan' on her file. "...Care to elaborate on that?"

"I found poor Kyoga-kun half-dead on my doortstep after the battle of River Bo- he still had spears in him, the poor thing! So like a sane and reasonable person I took him in and nursed the sweet thing back to heath and- well, a beautiful man in my bed, grateful to me for saving his life and offering me his eternal love and gratitude- How could a girl resist?" She sighed, hearts in her remaining eye.

"-and since I'd carried him over the threshold into my home we were basically married already, so it wasn't wrong of me to ride him like a pony or violate his warranty like that! He loved it! He loves ME! AND I LOVE HIM! It's just that the rest of the Kuchiki clan are a bunch of snobs with no sense of romance." She sighed, melancholy, then looked up at him, chewing her lip in nervousness. "...You haven't. heard anything about him?"

Yamamoto considered her story, and the few times he'd met Kyoga Kuchiki- a delicate young man with a sense of romantic grandeur and when he'd seen the boy recently, he had been lying facedown on the floor and sobbing, in quite some distress over being separated from his beloved-

"...Daddy Bear?" Yamamoto asked, bewildered.

"MY LITTLE BABY BEAR REMEMBERS ME!" She shrieked with joy, "Is he alright? I've been so worried, he still wasn't over that septic infection and the war keeps getting closer-" She demanded, grabbing Yamamoto by his Kosode and shaking him for answers.

"-As of last month, he was distraught over your absence, but otherwise hale. The sooner the Quincy are dead, the sooner you can see him again. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, detangling himself from her and putting the contract between them.

"Ah, Ever-turbulent but true runs the course of Love." sighed the charred man beside her. "Nobotsuna Shigyo, at your service." he introduced himself, bowing politely.

"I'm Batsu'unsai Katori- We were arrested and imprisoned for roughly the same incident and it may help to be introduced at the same time." Said the woman with the exceptionally large breasts beside him. "Um, I'll need my glasses back too- Oh, thank you!"

"The sight of sunlight is so strange after such time." Mused Nobotsuna. "Even before our imprisonment, the Lady Katori and I were leaders of a secret underground society!"

"It was less of a society and more of a Polycule that got out of control-" Explained Batsu'unsai. "Once I discovered by spiritual powers, I moved in with the great sage Shou Dokutsu, and began hanging out with and then dating other people with spiritual powers and they started bringing their partners to my district and pretty soon there were so many of us that the easiest way to house everyone was to start developing the extensive underground cave systems in the area."

"We manufactured many fine magical artifacts, so called ourselves The Under-Wares!" Said Nobotsuna.

"We actually called ourselves The Kido Union, because in addition to the magical tools, we formed a united labor front to keep the clans from exploiting us." She explained, and Yamamoto began to understand her interruption.

"I am the wise Loremaster of our people!" Said Nobutsuna.

"He's a stablehand." Batsu'unsai smiled.

"But the clans did not like that they were no longer able to exploit and abuse us now that we had allied in great numbers, and war came to our peaceful nation of Shou's Hole!" he said, with genuine sadness.

Yamamoto and Sasakibe looked back at Batsu'unsai.

"It actually is called Shou's Hole." she sighed. "He just wanted it so badly."

"I wore them down!" Notbotsuna grinned.

"Still, the clans did not like that they now had to pay to have magical labor done and that we would outright refuse their more barbaric requests, and eventually I think it was the Shibas that mounted an all-out assault on us. Last I heard, most of the Union made it out through the other exits from the caves, but Dokutsu-san and most of our heavy hitters stayed at the primary entrance to buy time. Nobotsuna and I were the only ones to survive the assault, and Hiraku Shiba had us thrown in here." Batsu'unsai sighed.

"Prick." Spat Nobotsuna. "Oh sure, when a head of one of the so-called 'Noble' houses goes around decapitating people and burning them alive it's considered 'honorable combat' and 'keeping the peace', but when I, a man whose family tree isn't a fucking wreath of incest, retaliates in a decidedly less lethal fashion suddenly its 'treason' and 'making up a spell called Penis Blast is a war crime'!!"

"-What kind of blast?" asked Sasakibe.

"He can demonstrate it for us on The Archery Bastards. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, thrusting contracts at them.

"Entetsu Kumoi." Read off Sasakibe as they came to the bald man who was nearly as wide as he was tall, with the exposed gold teeth. Entetsu looked up from where he'd finished putting his glasses back on and arranged his hairless brows into something that indicated that he'd be smiling politely if he had lips. "Imprisoned for your participation in the riot at the Windroad House, where you..." Sasakibe frowned at the file. "-Attacked and killed one hudred fifty-seven town guards with a brick, and mounted an assault on the local Dyamo?"

"Always morally correct, hittin' cops with bricks." Nodded Entetsu. "-Specially ones comin' t' kill just because some people are out havin' a good time, doin' no harm to no-one."

"The Windroad House is a Bar in the 3rd district famous for it's ah. Exotic. Cabaret performances." Sasakibe explained to Yamamoto, who didn't get out much.

"You were. At one of these performances?' Yamamoto asked.

"Ah, nah- just gotten off the job and had nipped down to the pub across th'way for a pint when I saw the pigs kick in the door an' start dragggin' the ladies out and I thought 'well that ain't right', so I started throwin' bricks until I were on me last brick and then I hunted them down wit' that last brick until there were none left." he explained. "Then I thinks, 'well, there's only none left until more come from the station', so's I made me way up the road to the station wit' me brick and had me a little hogslaughter up there too, see?"

"...And you just. kept going?" Sasakiba asked.

"So's I did! Right up to the head hog's trough, though by then it were well early in the mornin' and I were tired an' had some dozen spears in me back and me brick had fallen apart, so's I dinna get hims haunches fer ham." Entetsu sighed.

"Persistence! Very good quality in a captain!" Grinned Yamamoto, handing him the contract. "You know what to do by now."

They turned to the rather comely young man with the straw hat. "Furuoki, was it?" Yamamoto asked, feeling something that wasn't hopeful, per se, but these were strong people, and deeply insane and they were agreeing to help him, something that made his heart race with a delirious sort of mania.

"Yes. I am Furuoki Otogawa." he nodded.

"-And you're imprisoned here for- ecological terrorism, defiling holy a holy site and creating a dangerous magical device?" Sasakibe asked.

"What?" asked Yachiru, getting back to her feet and leaning heavily on him. "You told me you were in here for Jaywalking?"

"I thought I was?" Said Furuoki, frowning and tipping his head with confusion.

"It says here you constructed a device over the Tenjo no Ganbo waterfalls to, ah- 'suck up the carp in the pool at the base of the waterfall and launch them, at speed, up and over the waterfall'." Sasakibe read off and looked up to see Furuoki staring into the distance, eyes watering.

"They wanted to get to the lake at the top so badly they were swimming up the waterfall, but they kept falling down and getting hurt!" he sobbed, overcome with emotion. "I just made a chute to safely carry them to the top and gently toss them in the lake! how is that a crime?"

"-because when a carp makes it to the top of Tenjo no Ganbo falls, IT TURNS INTO A DRAGON! YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF DRAGONS SUDDENLY APPEAR! THOUSANDS BEFORE THEY COULD DISMANTLE THE DAMN THING!!" Sasakibe shouted.

"Ohhh." Furuoki said, nodding. "-I'd wondered where all the dragons had come from. I still don't see why that's a crime though?"

"Gods help us." Groaned Yamamoto.

"Dragons tend to be. Kinda destructive." Yachiru spoke slowly, her voice still rough and hollow-sounding. " 'specially to little villages."

"Oh." Furuoki said quietly, horrified.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with them once I get my lung back and bust outta this joint." Yachiru reassured him as Sasakibe handed Furuoki his contract.

"You wont be 'busting out' of anywhere, miss-" Sasakibe suffled the papers to open her file. "-Yachiru Unohana! You're obligated to serve General Yamamoto in exchange for your freedom, seeing as you're imprisoned for- for-"

Sasakibe froze, staring at the file. "-That has to be a Mistake."

"What?" Grunted Yamamoto, sizing the woman up. According to the group, if Furuoki who could rip this heavily fortified prison open like an ant's nest was their weakest fighter, this sickly-looking woman was their strongest.

"The file says she's imprisoned for killing ten thousand people!" babbled Sasakibe.

"Oh, no, that isn't right." grunted Yachiru, and Sasakibe sighed with relief.

"-Should be closer to twelve or fifteen thousand." She clarified, and Sasakibe went white.

"Read, sign, mark with your blood at the bottom." Yamamoto sighed, thrusting the contract at her.

"Uhhh... can't." She said, staring blankly at the contract, then slowly looking up at Yamamoto.

"What do you mean 'can't'?"  he growled.

"I can't read." she said.

Sasakibe hid his face in his hands, groaning with pain, while Yamamoto turned on his heel and threw his hands in the air, silently beseeching any available Gods for help.

"You get what you pay for, General." Called Chika, having changed back into the clothes they'd arrived in- garish red-orange and black ninja garb of the Shihon clan- and tying their sword back onto their gaudy belt.

"I am paying all of you a frankly OBSCENE amount of money, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect basic literacy!" Yamamoto snapped.

"It's okay girl, I'll read it to you and then you can have Minazuki back, okay?" Chigiri volunteered, wrapping an arm around her illiterate compatriot and walking her back to some seat-height rocks.

"Let's just get this over with." Yamamoto sighed, glaring at Tsubaki, who only smiled serenely back at him. "Uhin Zenjoji?"

"Present, sir." Beamed the enormous man who looked like a professional Sumo wrestler- there was fat, lots of it, but underneath, an unsettlingly steady grace and power to his movements.

"Your file says you're imprisoned for Smuggling, Murder, Bootlegging, Murder, Trafficking, Murder, More murder and... one hundred seventy two violations of The Migratory Bird Act?"

"The only two I will dispute are the trafficking and migratory bird charges-" he said, delicately holding up two fingers. "-firstly, it's not trafficking to move refugees from the clan wars out of danger without giving the aforementioned clans a cut. I'm no pimp."

"And the birds?" Yamamoto glared, intrigued more than anything.

"A man may have his hobbies and his charitable works!" Uhin said, touching his hand to his chest in faux-impassioned speech. "I collect and breed rare and endangered birds- the world would a sadder place without their songs. So I have- well, had- an aviary up in the mountains where they could be propagated in peace." Uhin sighed.

"Huh. Something nearly bordering on sanity." said Sasakibe said, offering Uhin his contract.

"Got any of them- whatsit- the big kicky bitches?" Danjiro asked.

"Cassowaries?" Uhin asked. "But of course! Delightful little creatures."

Yamamoto decided he didn't hear that, actually, and turned his attention to the final member of the dirty dozen.

"Hello young man!" the decrepit old man creaked cheerfully. "I am Saizo Sakahone." he was bald, liver-spotted, missing teeth and had a spine that bowed like a fishing rod with something much too large for the boat on the end of the line.

"Sakahone like the province?" asked Yamamoto, remembering the western area he'd traveled through recently.

"...In a manner of speaking, I suppose?" Saizo grinned. "Though it's rather the other way around- my lovely wife, may she rest in peace, managed to bear me no less than sixteen beautiful daughters, and they bore at least a dozen granddaughters and so on- Why, by my one thousand one hundred and eleventy-eth birthday, I had somewhere over fifty thousand descendants! So I am not so much named after the province, as the province is named after me!" he chucked.

"...by the Gods." marveled Sasakibe.

"Look, I love my sword too but at least I take it out of the scabbard sometimes." sighed Yamamoto. "What're you in for, family man?"

"O-ho! Now that was quite rash of me, I'm afraid. Yes-" Saizo nodded, rubbing his gnarled-oak hands. "-but as you say, I am a family man and there is nothing I despise so much as someone who does violence to children. No, no, nothing more vile in the world than that..."

Yamamoto felt Sasakibe go stiff beside him, and glanced over. Sasakibe tipped the file closer for his friend to read.

"-The total annihilation of the Uchimaki clan?" Yamamoto asked.

"I was born a shepherd, my boy. My people have been herding cattle over the hills of my province since there were cattle and hills to herd them over. When rot and madness like that turns up in a line- you need to cull backwards at least three generations or it'll set root and spread through your whole herd." he sighed. "What a shame, what a shame, but it had to be done, or they would have learned to turn a profit, treating children like that, and then we'd never be rid of it."

"I saw the crater. Half a mile deep and three times as wide." Said Yamamoto, mustache trembling. "I thought the wrath of the Gods themselves had descended upon them."

"Hm." Saizo nodded, jaw trembling a bit with palsy. "Hm, yes. That's what it felt like."

"Would you like to feel it again?" Yamamoto asked.

"No." Saizo shook his head, but slowly straightened up as much as he could- he must have been close to seven feet tall before the scoliosis set in- flexing his hands and rolling his neck, the power held withing that body starting to come off him in shimmering golden steam. "-but if that's what it takes for me to go home again, then I will be the tool of the Gods once more."

Yamamoto offered him the contract, and did not need to give him instructions.

Behind them, there was a quiet but extremely invasive wet noise and Yamamoto turned to see Unohana unsheath her... well, it lived in a scabbard but it was a muddy green and unusually gooey for a sword. Minazuki bubbled forth from her scabbard, trilling faintly as she solidified and formed into a mottled green cyclopean stingray, large enough to swallow a man, nuzzling at her human affectionately.

"Huh. She does seem to have an exceptionally intimate bond with her Zanpaktou..." Sasakibe noted, then flinched as Minazuki's mouth opened to reveal a fleshy interior of writhing tentacles and strange glands. Without hesitation, Unohana shed her prisoner's robe, which was apparently the and stepped inside to be swallowed with a sigh of relief.

"Very intimate!" grinned Chigiri at Sasakibe's shoulder. "My offer to stitch you up is still on the table, unless you want to develop a similarly intimate relationship with a fish."

"Never did care for seafood..." Sasakibe muttered.

"What about Tsubaki-san?" Furofushi frowned. "Where's her contract?"

"I came here for fighters." Yamamoto shook his head, turning to Tsubaki. "But you are right that The Maggot's Nest is a secure fortress in it's own right. The war is no place for a pri-"

He stopped, staring. Tsubaki had sat down and was rubbing her feet, fingers laced between her toes. She glanced up at him, then down at her feet, smirked, and sat back, wiggling her toes. "No, I agree, the front is no place for a Princess, but it is very much a place for a Diplomat, isn't it?" she asked.

Yamamoto blinked. "I have been thoroughly disinherited from any political position I may have inherited, so I am no princess." She explained, rolling her ankle with a smirk. "-and you are, if I may make an estimation based on my training as a Lady Of Society and now that all of our contracts are signed and bonded, terrible at negotiations."

Yamamoto shook himself, trying to pretend he hadn't been staring at her arches. "...I thought it went fine? Nobody lost a hand."

She smiled, and walked up beside him, lacing her arm with his and gently patting his hand. "My dear. If bookies had been allowed to lay bets on this encounter, the odds of me losing my head would have been considered a sure thing, and the odds on my being able to convince you to properly hire us and pay us, I agree, an 'obscene' amount of money so slim that anyone who took my side would now be a very rich idiot."

Yamamoto squinted at her, trying to translate that in his head.

"...You've conned me." He glared.

"Quite badly, I'm afraid." She smiled.

"You've conned me, but you can con say, that idiot that runs the Omeda clan or the obnoxious boy with the cock's comb that follows Yhwach around even worse." He tried.

Miss Tsubaki smiled, and laced her fingers with his.

"I'm going to have someone much smarter than me write up your contract." he nodded. "Sasakibe? Can you get us home in a-"

Yamamoto turned to see his friend, standing with his robe open while Chigiri knelt before him. Yamamoto blinked in bewilderment, and then realized the woman was stitching his wounds up at speed, her face close to his navel to focus on her work.

"...Hurry?" Yamamoto asked.

"Boss if I go any faster I'm gonna sew his bellybutton shut." Chirigi replied, not looking up.

"She is almost done, sir." Sasakibe winced. "Please don't interrupt her work?"

--- It took a good half hour to get everyone together to leave- clothes changed, signed out of the Maggot's nest and their custody turned over to Yamamoto, Nobotsuna trying to smuggle his "pet" Salamander out, several other prisoners saying tearful goodbyes to Tsubaki and her taking their information down 'for later', Minazuki trying to eat the salamander, and further mayhem while Sasakibe finished drawing the teleportation circle but soon they were lined up, and as the spell activated, Tsubaki gripped Yamamoto's arm rather firmly.

But in a flash, they were returned to Headquarters, Tsubaki blinking from the bright sun.

"General!" the soldier saluted. "Good to see you again! No news from the front, but we have received word the Shihon clan has made an alliance with the Fon clan as the advance approaches their homeland."

"HAH!" Shouted Chika. "Either cousin Genki pulled his head out of his ass or whatever cousin they're on now has good taste! Mingyan is a BABE and a half."

"Nice digs, very nice." Nodded Danjiro, looking around the courtyard. "...Looks really familiar for some reason. Never been to Seireitei, but I swear I've been in a building just like this?"

The other criminals looked around the courtyard, frowning and muttering about how it DID look familiar, and not at all like barracks.

There was a distressing hurgling sort of noise behind them and Minazuki spat out Yachiru Unohana, who tumbled out, nude and covered in slime. She rolled to the foot of the shrine, and sat up, blinking at the statue inside.

"Hey-" She called, voice still low and a rough but the hollow wetness had gone. "-Why's the military got a shrine to Yatagarasu?"

The others looked at the shrine and then around the building again. The orderly layout, the way the men were fit and professional but not precisely military, the extensive filing and sorting system visible through the open doors, Yamamoto's confession to Mail-tampering, the shrine to the Messenger of the Gods...

"You know, I did think it was rather strange that you were able to rally a small but apparently quite fast and very loyal army without the aid of any major clans." Tsubaki sighed. "How very industrious of you, Postmaster-General Yamamoto!"

[nitw]

god it just dawned on me that neil and quincy are both hawaiian shirt + socks with sandals warriors

two of them. literally two of them

[artstar1997]

Here are the older trolls as monsters for my monster au. It’s kinda fancier and more complicated to finish them because their designs have lots of details.

Peppy is a former alpha of his pack, now that one of the twins, Poppy ends up taking over the position while Viva, the other twin formed her own. He was Bastion’s best wolf buddy ever since they prowled in their 100’s. Being very close to the vampire prince, Peppy became the best wolf in his wedding and vice versa when he got married to his mate. He hasn’t seen the vampire couple for so long until they finally reunite and had to band together to fight the evil horde that is trying to invade the monster world.

Prince Bastion of the Nevermore Clan is one of the few vampires who tolerated werewolves since he’s best friends with Peppy. They were inseparable like bats in the ceiling ever since they met as a batling and wolf pup respectively. Alongside Dr. Moonbloom, Mags Gumdrop, and Sky Toronto, they loved prowling in the woods and scaring anyone in their way. When Bastion ends up marrying Jasmine Dracula, he and everybody else were attacked by a mob of angry humans and they fought their way out to the shadows for their safety. When they had Rose, they had no choice but to keep her safe by giving her up to his mother, Queen Celestia so that she can grow up safely and prepared to become the next vampire queen. They make sure their other children, Linden, Aurora, and Twilight are prepared for their roles in fighting the divine republic while watching over Rose in a distance. He was later reunited with her and Peppy after years on being on a lookout and he joins forces with the other monsters to fight their common enemy. His vampire gift is the ability to detect lies. As the younger sister of the infamous Count Dracula, Jasmine’s vampire gift is darkness manipulation, which is one hundred percent stronger since she is a part of the vampire king’s family.

Queen Celestia is the queen of the vampires. She was a former consort of the late vampire king and the mother of six children, having five daughters and one son, Bastion. As a proud grandmother, Celestia had lived thousands of years and still haven’t aged since vampires are ageless. She is also very close to Rose, whom she have raised to become next in line to the throne and to fulfill her destiny, even though she has to sacrifice herself to protect her beloved family. Her vampire gift is the siren song.

Quincy and Essence are plant monsters who were born from the seeds of different plants, with Quincy’s being formed from an unspecified tree while Essence came from a rare corpse flower. They lead their own monster community while raising their sons, Cooper and Darnell but they have to move to a settlement near the Nevermore Castle because of the monster hunter. Now, they welcome two more plant monsters to their family, Jussy, and Emi, who both became the love interests of their sons.

Trollzart is a harpy who is the leader of his own flock and one of the monster communities. Not much was known about him but he is a ferocious attacker and hunter if any human or rogue attack any monster under his wing.

Delta Dawn is a deerling who leads her own monster community and the Wildhoof tribe. She looks friendly at first glance and she was initially sympathetic but she can be protective of all the monsters from humans, whom she harbors resentment because of ecological destruction and the persecution of humans. She has a sassy attitude and love for all "Southern" things, as well as being as smart as a whip, but she is also in a zing with Dickory.

Thrash is a former alpha of his pack, which is now lead by his daughter, Barb. He is absent-minded, but he dotes his daughter a lot and was a skilled hunter and warrior who showed no mercy on the Gileadeans that he tore apart for years. Despite his senility, he is willing to accept other monsters, including innocent humans.

The next one will be a pawful so be prepared, ghouls and mansters.

[clover-system]

Allow us to introduce ourselves

Half a year active, over a hundred followers, the majority of which are veteran tumblers from that one 60k note explosion, and we still haven't properly introduced ourselves. Time to fix that.

We are Clover, an endogenic plural system. That means we are multiple people sharing one brain and body, and we aren't plural because of trauma. We do not have DID. (nor do the vast majority of endos)

I am Quincy Eliza Bethany Madeline, the headmate who fronts the most. Rose may also post on here sometimes.

There are a lot of people on here who say that it's impossible for a plural system to form without trauma, but as you may have seen from our syscourse reblogs, they rarely cite any credible sources, and that's because they're wrong. I am not a LARPer and I do not claim to have DID. This really is every hour of my life, online and offline. If you have any more questions about plurality, feel free to send me an ask.

Though if we're talking about origins, "not from trauma" is overly vague for my taste. If we're really talking about how the system formed, I prefer "dreamgenic", because everyone originated from some combination of nightdreams and immersive daydreams which I had varying levels of control over.

The second most active headmate, Victoria Penelope, has her own blog @victoria-penelope-clover. She posts more infrequently, when she's able to front/cofront/proxy, and is currently mostly focused on syscourse, with occasional slices of life. She's my older syster.

Headcount is currently in the upper teens. Some more may be mentioned occasionally but I'd rather not have a list of private details about everyone easily accessible here for anyone to see. For the most part, all you'll see every once in a while is some colored text indicating a distinct voice.

Anyway, enough plural stuff! Now for typical bio stuff!

Fleed Reddit to come here and wow Tumblr is way better. Always happy to commune with fellow Rexxitors!

For obsession I circle between Chess, Minecraft, Geometry Dash, Warrior Cats, and Undertale. Fandoms I am on the edge of getting sucked into include The Amazing Digital Circus and Death Note. I also plan to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender at some point. Ever since our syscovery, I've consumed next to no fiction for fear of more headmates.

I have a few projects in the works but I've promised myself that I won't post them publicly until I've actually made substantial progress!

No DNI! Maybe it's just because I'm not jaded by years of wasted time with unproductive trolls, but I think assuming someone is in bad faith just because they disagree with you about something heated is bad actually, partly because I've seen what happens and how long progress takes when left-of-center people generally refuse to interact with, for example, transphobes. Relatedly, I will only block you if I think you're a bot or if you really, really fuck up.

Do not be surprised if I casually shit on something you believe in without warning.

I have an ever-growing queue set to post five times per day, and I try not to post too much more than that. I also try to keep my dash at less than 100 posts per day, which is apparently uncommon here.

Reblog reblog reblog! Not just my posts, but everyone (unless you have a good reason not to, like with this intro post). Reblogs are what keep Tumblr alive! Likes do next to nothing.

That's all for now! If you have any more questions, send me an ask and I might add it to this post!

[tobyisave]

This is extremely random but I need to know why you named the Adamandi warrior cats as you did. I think I understand Ambrose being Goldenstone but I must know more.

omg yeah of course! I was trying to make them fit thematically but I also used traditionalism (prefix is physical descriptor, suffix is skills or another physical descriptor) because I think it makes it more fun when you get to factor in how the whole Clan perceives them too? So yeah here you go

Vincent: Mousemask

Mouse because I really see Vincent as a little mouseboy... I think it's because he's so jumpy and gray colored. Also, thematically, mice are seen as unwanted home invaders and vectors of disease. I imagine the Clan named him on the basis of being gray and tiny. It also pairs nicely with Marten imo; they're both small mammals but mice are prey animals while martens are predators that eat them, which seems backwards but maybe fits in the end?

Mask - because he has no demonstrable skills (f) he got a descriptive suffix, mask, based on the dark area around his eyes (based on his eyebags in Act II + the freckles I draw on him). Of course the other fucked up little reason he's called Mousemask is because he wears Ambrose's face as a mask.

(I also think his mom probably gave him a loner name when he was born, but he either was too young to remember it or he changed it at some point)

Quincy: Martenlight

I gave them Marten just for the vibe because it's (almost) their last name. But it also fits design-wise since I wanted to make them light brown and white/yellow and that's the color of an American Marten in the summertime. (I put yellow wax-drip splotches on their sinful features, i.e. eyes and paws, and ears because I'm dumb and forgot there's no ears in Litany of the Martyrs).

Light is associated with intelligence but also with faith. Describing intelligence as light (to me) implies it's originating from somewhere else above you which I also think is fun for their impostor syndrome. It's also just a very positive suffix in general, demonstrating the Clan's high expectations for them.

Ambrose: Goldenstone

I really struggled to name Ambrose? This one is obviously because he's the "golden boy" and he turns into stone - though in my head they would have named him "stone" because he's strong and reliable like a boulder. I also considered Goldenfang (fang demonstrating skill in both battle & hunting aka Ambrose's wide skillset) but it sounded too fierce, likewise Goldenheart was too soft. I still debate Goldensun though - it's over the top in its praise of him but I think that's fitting.

I don't have names for Portia and Beatrix at the moment but I'll wait til I can design them first. Needless to say Portia is a former kittypet though :P

[singing-melliot-headcanons]

mroww murrrpp meoww :33

adamandi catss >:D

quincy is a tortoiseshell cat !! i would say he has more black than orange - there’s no big splotches of orange it’s kinda just evenly distributed around their pelt :3 he has amber eyes !! they have a very soft meow and has airplane ears half the time :p a very timid and shy cat but if they get too stressed they’ll act out ! otherwise they’re very well behaved :3

vincent is a gray tabby cat with green eyes !! marble tabby pattern and has jagged whiskers - a pretty shy cat around unfamiliar environments and people but when he’s comfortable he’s a very energetic guy!! he’s mostly napping during the day but at night they’ll destroy your couch >:3c they also are pretty mischievous and stares at you while knocking something off the counter before acting all cute to see if youll do anything :3 he’ll also absolutely go onto your dinner table and start eating your food with the most determination ever.

beatrix is a tuxedo cat. they have white paws, chest, snout, and the tip of her tail :3 i would say they have black whiskers and a black nose w black toe beans too !! probably a distinct white spot on the face somewhere too. she has amber eyes :p she’s a very vocal cat and makes people think that she’s in misery sometimes - very effective at getting more treats and food when they’ve already been fed. also a very hissy cat she’s not afraid to hiss to randomly bite you. she has brownish fur in some areas from sun bathing :3

portia is a cream colored cat !!! she has more brownish mackerel tabby cat markings ! she also has slightly darker fur around the ears and paws and tail - along with a pink nose ! she has yellow or blue eyes (can’t decide :[ ) i think she would be a very outgoing and sweet cat !! but not much of a meower and if she gets annoyed or is pet in the wrong spot she will hiss and bite. she stares at you judgeingly from afar >:3

ambrose is a more lighter orange tabby cat with spotted markings instead of the traditional tabby cat stripes (he thinks it makes him sooo much cooler) he has green eyes and is very bossy about what he wants. >:3 he also is very reluctant to cuddle and rarely purrs - his owner didnt choose for him to be an outdoor cat, he chose to be one and enjoys other people giving him food ! he also bats at other cats a lot. when he sleeps he is out like a light. he makes his owner concerned sometimes when he’s trying to be shaken awake but is unresponsive because he’s such a deep sleeper :p

all rhis cat assigning is exhaustinggg the mamorei can get cats laterr + taopp cats later maybe :p

more importantly, what are their warrior names?

[guitar-hero-stuff]

Faces

[midnightactual]

Kūkaku's Relative Power & Narrative Role

I've mentioned this before, but, really look at this in CFYOW Volume II (emphasis mine):

“I’ve got one thing to say.” Kukaku’s piercing voice resounded, and those who had been making a commotion all stopped at the same time. “This is my house. I don’t mind you being rowdy, but if you’re going to cut each other up then take it outside.” Though her voice was soft, there was an energy in it that indicated she wouldn’t take no for an answer. “That woman’s strong.” “Yes. She doesn’t seem to be a Soul Reaper, but I suppose…I suppose there were some strong people lurking around.” Halibel could comprehend Kukaku’s power through the spiritual pressure in her words, and Nelliel agreed with her. Needless to say, those who knew Kukaku from the start, like Ginjo and the others, became quiet and subdued. The same was true for the Quincies and Corpse Unit. Other than Mayuri Kurotsuchi, that is, who marched to the beat of his own drum.

So, the obvious joke first:

But that Kūkaku is able to put reiatsu in her voice, and that is enough to get Grimmjow & Luppi—aspects of death of destruction—to shut the hell up, as well as enough to make guys like Ginjō "quiet and subdued" (read: submissive and avoidant) tells you a lot, beyond just Tier and Nelliel's judgments.

Now, in the manga, back during chapters 78 and 79, we go from here:

to here:

You can see that her kiseru goes missing. Something like what the anime suggests happens is relatively plausible (and yes I know I just got done talking about the anime being lesser canon):

At any rate, Kūkaku goes on to readily disable both Ganju (whom is giving Ichigo trouble) and Ichigo himself (and by the way, this is much like how Yoruichi often at least initially easily handles people who are giving Ichigo trouble, from Byakuya, to Yammy, to Askin):

Now, this is played for comedy. However, I urge you to recall both Isshin and Retsu, whose strength was also initially played for comedy. I also ask you to remember Tsukishima, who is immensely powerful but often passive. And I'll note that in CFYOW, Ginjō has Tsukishima and Giriko at his disposal and yet all three of them don't even seem to entertain the idea of messing with Kūkaku and put up with whatever she says, both there and in chapter 518:

We know that Bleach already has a Red Oni in Kenpachi:

I would submit to you that, at least figuratively, Kūkaku is something closer to the Blue Oni (yes, I know it's funny when she wears red):

This is especially interesting when Yoruichi is routinely paralleled with Kenpachi and is sometimes a Red Oni herself (and sometimes a Blue Oni):

As I've related a number of times, Japanese loves puns, and the Blue Oni is often associated with being a Kuudere. Well, there's K[uu]kaku. More importantly, we know the Kū of her name, 空, is the Void in the Godai:

空 Kū or sora, most often translated as "Void", but also meaning "sky", "heaven" or environment, it represents those things beyond and within our everyday comprehension, particularly those things composed of pure energy before they manifest; the emptiness that the energy is made up of. Bodily, kū represents spirit, thought and creative energy. It represents the creation of phenomena. It can also be associated with the potential of power, creativity, spontaneity and inventiveness. Kū is of particular importance as the highest of the elements. In martial arts, particularly in fictional tales where the fighting discipline is blended with magic or the occult, one often invokes the power of the Void to connect to the quintessential creative energy of the world. A warrior properly attuned to the Void can sense their surroundings and act without using the mind, and without using their "physical senses".

This would explain why, oh, say, Kūkaku can sense Yoruichi remotely when no one else can. (I would also submit that the Void, the Garganta, is perhaps the opposite of Hell, with which it seems Kenpachi may be associated.) Anyway, going back a little, we can see that Kūkaku's smoking and drinking is perhaps actually a limiter upon and restrictor of her "true" self, which only becomes evident when she's stirred to anger. She's trying to be chill. (Note also that even her "comedic" anger is shocking to Yoruichi.)

Keep in mind that Kūkaku also channels the sun to use the Kakaku Taihō cannon, and that the SRDI can only build a one-shot replica of the cannon which requires dimensional energy to act as fuel. If read in a sci-fi context, Kūkaku functions as the equivalent of a warp core reactor.

Basically, Kūkaku was always implied to be extremely strong, but given the additional context from CFYOW, we can make an educated guess that:

Kūkaku is the Broly of Bleach and you're in danger. I offer you this scene for free:

Whomever: You can't stop me. Yoruichi: I know. Wiping blood from her mouth. But she can after you split my lip. Kūkaku: Bursting out of whatever like Surtur in Thor: Ragnarok.

Or perhaps:

[scotianostra]

On February 1st 1329, Sir James Douglas bestowed land and money to Newbattle Abbey before he left for with The Bruce’s heart for the Holy Land.

The Good Sir must have known it was a dangerous journey he was going to undertake, he gave the land so that each year a mass would be sung for St Bride and 13 poor people would be fed so the saint would intercede with God for his immortal soul.

In the 1849 book Registrum S. Marie de Neubotle the story is told as such:

On St. Bride’s day, or the 1st of February, in the end of the year 1329, at the park of Douglas, the “good Sir James of Douglas,” being then about to depart for the Holy Land with the heart of his royal master, bestowed on the monastery of Newbattle his half of the land of Kilmad, the other half of which it already possessed by gift of Roger de Quinci; while the monks, on their part, became bound to sing a mass at St. Bridget’s altar within their abbey church on the feast of St. Bridget, yearly for evermore, and to feed thirteen poor folk, that the saint might make special intercession with God for the weal of the good knight.

If you are wondering why it says “in the end of the year 1329” it is because we were still using the Julian calendar back then, the New Year began on March 25th.

Of course most of you will know that Douglas only made it to Spain, landing at Santander where a stone, now lost, recalled the hero ‘El Duglas’. Douglas and the Scots joined King Alfonso XI of Castile in his war against the Sultan of Granada, Muhammed IV.

In Castile an English knight marvelled at Douglas’s unscarred face - he expected the famed warrior to be covered in battle scars, as he himself was. Douglas replied, ‘God be praised, I always had my hands to defend my head.’

On August 30th 1330 Douglas alongside several Scots, including Simon Lockhart of Lee, William Keith, Robert Logan of Restalrig and Walter Logan, William Borthwick, Kenneth Moir, William St Clair of Rosslyn and John St Clair, charged into battle against The Moors at The Battle of Teba, Douglas and the Scots knights died at Teba.

James’s body was found by the silver casket. Muhammed IV had the bodies of the Scots sent with guard of honour to King Alfonso. The surviving Scots, Sir William Keith and Sir Simon Lockhart, cut out their friends’ hearts and boiled their bodies down in a cauldron. They took the knights’ bones and hearts back to Scotland. You may have seen artwork of James throwing the heart ahead of him, this is just artistic licence, he would not be expecting to die, and the casket would most definitely have remained around his neck, as seen in the statue in the second pic, which is on The National Portrait gallery wall in Edinburgh.

It was after Teba that the Douglas Arms were changed, the heart being added to show his devotion to The Bruce.

[ashleywool]

health update/diatribe/infodump BUT THERE'S A CAT VIDEO AT THE END

Dearest reader: This should be a simple health update, but instead, it's an obnoxiously detailed info-dump written by the kind of person who knows more than most people about American health insurance but is still surprised at how it continues to find new and innovative ways to suck. If this is not the type of thing your brain or nervous system wants to wrap itself around, I don't blame you one bit, but if it is, I hope you'll at least walk away having learned something or being at least mildly entertained. If not, feel free to

SCROLL TO THE END FOR A HTDIO-ADJACENT CAT VIDEO!

When last we left our third-or-fourth-favorite mildly niche-famous T-list Broadway person, she was finally on the brink of getting a brain and pituitary MRI. This was supposed to happen on Friday.

But I wasn't allowed to get the MRI on Friday because Cigna's pre-authorization was still pending and there was nothing my doctor could do to escalate its urgency, nor could they withdraw the order. They couldn't do anything at all until the third-party organization that approves the pre-authorizations signed off on its medical necessity.

Look, I get it. This is an expensive and labor-intensive procedure, so they have to be thorough. I mean, sure, my doctor said it was medically necessary, and sure, they sent the additional clinical information to confirm its medically necessity, and sure, every order at every stage was marked as urgently medically necessary, and it was sent for processing on Monday, but how can they REALLY be sure it's medically necessary until my case is also reviewed by doctors who have NEVER seen me, and don't work weekends or holidays, and will get around to reviewing it at their own leisure? The folks at the radiology clinic rescheduled me in their next available spot and maintained that they'd contact me as soon as possible to fill any upcoming cancellation spots.

A ridiculous mildly annoying setback was that their next available appointment wasn't until July 26. They couldn't attempt to book me at any of the other dozens of clinics affiliated with this hospital network, because the pre-authorization is site-specific, which is like buying someone a gift card from the Starbucks on my block only to find out that they won't honor it at the Starbucks two blocks down perfectly reasonable, because I'm sure every site has differences that can't be perceived from a patient perspective.

Oh, and the existence of a pending pre-authorization prevented them from doing the MRI that day even if I'd had $8K in cash to pay out of pocket for the procedure. Which is perfectly reasonable, because why shouldn't American healthcare policy punish rich people too? I'm sure it's many flavors of unethical for one doctor to do something without the approval of another doctor even though the doctor whose approval it hangs on has NEVER SEEN ME.

One fellow in particular--I'll call him Quincy--gave me some insider info on how to prepare for the types of advocacy he's had to do in the past with this particular pre-authorization team, and which numbers to call and questions to ask. He isn't technically supposed to know this stuff and also isn't technically supposed to share it, but says he does it all the time anyway--hence why I'm keeping him anonymous. Quincy isn't his real name, but Quincy is a real one, and I took in his information like a medieval warrior selecting the choicest armor to prepare for battle the informed and fully compliant patient I strive to be.

Anyway, a few persistent phone calls later, a Cigna rep informed me that the middlemen would approve the pre-authorization for the MRI on the condition that I get the procedure done at a standalone radiology facility instead of a hospital-affiliated facility. Which is like buying someone a gift card that could only be honored at Starbucks kiosks located inside Target stores, but not at a standalone Starbucks or anywhere else in Target perfectly reasonable, I know the insurance companies don't wanna have to spend hospital prices any more than I do. So I spent a great deal of time yesterday looking up non-hospital-affiliated radiology clinics that were in-network.

I made an appointment with one clinic for Thursday. But I also made an appointment request at a different clinic for Monday morning, just in case they could see me sooner--because I knew this clinic didn't accept Medicare or Medicaid, and were therefore exempt from the requirement of third-party pre-authorization. (Pro-tip: even if you do have Medicare or Medicaid, always try to bypass pre-authorization for diagnostic procedures, especially if you have a particularly high in-network deductible--it's entirely possible that paying out of pocket for a service at an out-of-network provider could cost less than the amount you'd have to pay towards your deductible at at in-network facility. American math.)

THIS MORNING, I woke up at 8am to a phone call from the latter clinic, saying that if I sent them the doctor's prescription, they could pre-authorize the procedure and see me tomorrow. So that's what I did...and then I got an email saying that they couldn't accept a prescription for an MRI with and without contrast because they don't have contrast at that facility. Which is like finally securing a coveted reservation at an elite steakhouse only to find out they don't season their steak or even have steak sauce perfectly reasonable, because not everyone needs contrast, but I do, so that place was out.

But as far as I've been told, Thursday's appointment should go off without a hitch as long as I call EviCore (the pre-authorization middlemen) tomorrow morning to tell them all about the not-hospital that will be giving me a not-hospital-priced MRI, so that they can grant the pre-authorization at long last.

Perhaps if I plead my case and bat my eyes at them real cute-like through the phone, they'll give me some other reason why it's actually not medically necessary for me to know definitively whether or not I have a literal brain tumor I can get seen even sooner than Thursday.

FUNNY STORY THOUGH...

A couple weeks ago I was talking to a friend from church who was going through a lot of the same stuff as I was, and I was like "idk, maybe get your cortisol checked?" and lo and behold, he messaged me back a few days ago saying that he'd found a new doctor and asked him to do just that, and WITHIN A DAY his doctor ordered ALL the labs I'd fought for (serum blood cortisol, low-dose dexamethasone suppression test, 24-hour urine, saliva, etc.) AND an MRI for suspected Cushing's.

And he completed ALL OF THAT within a week.

Although he did have to suffer for quite a while before I floated the possibility of Cushing's, just like my friend Alan had to suffer for years before his own endocrinologists floated the possibility of Cushing's. Still, they both got that MRI the second it WAS floated, without a fight, and I'm genuinely happy for them.

But I can't help wondering how much quicker and easier this whole process would have been for me if I were a man. Or if I was neurotypical. Or if I still had a choice about whether or not to disclose being autistic. But mostly if I were a man.

THIS IS THE END! HERE IS THE HTDIO-ADJACENT CAT VIDEO YOU WERE PROMISED!

I'm fostering my friends' exquisite tuxedo princessfloof for a few weeks. Chevy and Tex are being very accommodating foster siblings, but she's much younger and is used to being the only pet, so naturally it took her a while to acclimate.

But there was one thing she took to immediately: the How to Dance in Ohio fidget spinner.