#quick quick!!!

[backstabbingfarter]

uhhhh…. guys don’t panic… but THE john Flansburgh is 6 feet in front of me trying to get enough quarters to buy a sugar free pink lemonade 😱‼️‼️

if only i could buy it for him. unfortunately all of my quarters are seconds away from being used to finalize plane tickets for 1-2 orphans so that they can witness the beautiful white sand beaches of Miami and dance in the water for the first time, with no parents because they are orphans.

If you would like to buy Mr. Flans his sugarless confectionery, do not hesitate. send me the front and back of your debit/credit card (visa, master card or discover) and i will tell flans that you have PERSONALLY opted to buy him a delicious treat so he does not have to continue fumbling with his pockets like a complete oaf. i am uncertain the amount of gratitude he would feel at this gesture, only that it is likely more than i have ever witnessed before.

save flans!!!! SAVE FLANS!!!

[shamefulzombie]

Not Perfect

[unsung-idiot]

don't show him modern technology; it won't end well

bonus under the cut:

[allagashed]

whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean

[sointuina]

feeling extremely normal about these two

[pseudonymjones]

[ranminfan]

You lost your keys again?

A pretty gnarly thing is they got the jaw of St. Anthony of Padua as a relic, and the reliquary goes hard af.

So I had this idea and I drew it as fast as I could

[koifee]

Falin panics when her gf is sad

[beardedmrbean]

chino1moreno

[p0isonives]

conner kent has INCREDIBLE self control, cause if i came back from being dead to find out Tim Drake tried to clone me 99 times because he missed me so much, i’d immediately make him my bride

[ochiody]

really quick comic based on this post by @fangirling-phoenix

[the-barefoot-hatter]

this is exactly how their first meeting played out, right Dipper?

[inkskinned]

how do i contact apple bc actually i am currently going through an internet story but i don't have twitter.

which is to say that 3 weeks ago i was on vacation to the Azores with my family. due to girl pockets (iykyk) my phone fucking jumped into the ocean literally only because i lifted my leg above a 30 degree angle to avoid a wave. the phone was black. the sand was black. it was night. i had waded in about 2 feet deep. i think my guardian angel just closed his eyes.

i immediately reached a state of peace about it. maybe it was a sign from god or the universe. don't we all need to unplug. let's live in the moment or whatever. also, let's give the crabs technology, i just think it would be funny.

i come home. i haven't backed up my phone in a while (lol since 2022) and the shitty replacement i got is literally useless. i lost pictures of newborn babies. i lost contacts. i have to wrangle things together that need 2-factor authentication with a phone that's in the fucking ocean.

and then today i got this notification.

What in the everfuck. are you kidding me. this thing was IN THE OCEAN. like the ACTUAL OCEAN. like originally "find my phone" was reporting it as ABSENT.

and then i get this email:

she found it while she was SNORKLING. at the bottom of the actual ocean. it's been there for 3 weeks.

IT STILL WORKS.

which is to say. like how do i get her anything she wants, forever. i don't have any money but i would buy her a fucking boat of iphones to thank her. how do we get apple to give me a commercial. if nothing else i just want people to know that someone found my phone at the bottom of the ocean because how fucking fake of a story does this even sound.

what's going on. hello????????

[itsnicsalad]

wanted to get this idea out of my head before i move on to other things aye🤙

[a-little-bit-of-ravioli]

so how about that theory that Odysseus' red eyes in Six Hundred Strike mean Ares is helping him out on behalf of Athena, huh?