#queue should know me better

[paranormaltheatrekid]

[leverage-ot3]

okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭

bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)

but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good

some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember

he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business

one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man

he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)

they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)

not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it

and then the long goodbye job happens

hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.

so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.

and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.

not this time. not to sterling crowley

he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)

nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.

he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.

the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.

but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.

‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.

watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

just here to say that I loveee the way you have doodled jin ling. squeaky toy golden boy. the most nephew to ever nephew. thank you for delightful comics, that's all, mwah

I simply think the Jin DNA is full of lil guy potential; like sugar ants on a peony B*)

[not-poignant]

Do you have a favorite character evolution or relationship evolution that you’ve written? Personally, the way Augus becomes soft for Mosk in The Ice Plague really tickles me.

Oh hmmm, this is such an awesome question! But also really hard to answer.

I think I have more than one. But the one that weirdly comes to mind is Sharpwood in The Golden Age that Never Was. I've been kind of obsessed with his character ever since and I feel like I'm 'saving' him for an original novel somewhere along the way. Something about him going from like, a cold, distant servant, to what he became, until finally at the end you realise you really want to get to know him better and it's too late... I don't know. I think often about writing a side story of his trauma recovery, but I don't have like...spare time to do it in. Alas.

In terms of the main characters, like the point-of-view characters, Gwyn's and Augus' journey was compelling enough that I followed them for nearly a decade in a single universe. And I feel like that's the most obvious answer because it's like 'well, I spent tens of thousands of hours on them because they were my favourite evolution / relationship evolution.'

In terms of less obvious characters... I actually really loved writing Mosk becoming protective of Gwyn in The Ice Plague and then becoming kind of like a mentor figure almost to him, despite his age and lack of experience.

I loved, loved, loved writing the slow tentative growth of connection between the prickly Gwyn ap Nudd and equally prickle Raven Prince in The Ice Plague as well.

Right now, I'm a big fan of Efnisien and Faber, and Efnisien and Flitmouse too. :D

[pariahdogpark]

switching your url for the first time in 7 years is kinda fun. it's kinda like faking your own death

[front-facing-pokemon]

[edge-oftheworld]

help i'm listening to an orchestral arrangement of holiday by green day and i can't deal with it

[warriors-as-shit-ive-said]

i just need everyone to know that our cinderheart introject is the smallest kitty in existence. like she’s the size of a hand pie. 2 mustards long. and everyone is terrified of her

[probablygayattorneys]

I have a deep, abiding fear of Apollo and Trucy’s biological mother.

[hyaciiintho]

Mun question 3, and 4 for a muse of your choice!

Mun questions! | ✿

3. Random fact about yourself? 🌸｡*ﾟ+. I feel like I've shared so many little "funfacts" about myself on my doc and just over the years, it's hard to think of something new... except for... one thing and it's not exactly a ✨Tee hee haha funfact✨ thing, but I guess it is a random fact!

I was almost kidnapped as a kid at the Walmart my family used to all work at when it first opened :'D I know that's a super out there statement but dfhjks me, being bilingual, I can understand, speak, and write in Spanish. I was exploring the store while waiting for my Ma to get off her shift and decided to walk around the toy aisles. There were these two men who started tailing after me and speaking to each other in Spanish.

"This one looks good, yeah?" "Yeah, let's get that one." "Let's see where they go first and get them further into the store."

Me, being like... 8ish at the time??... 8 for sure actually, because that was when Threads of Fate dropped in America and I played the demo religiously in the electronics section. Was like... Oh, this is no bueno. So rather than stick around, I started walking towards electronics. Why? My aunt was working that area that day, too. So I saw her and basically stuck to her side like glue. When I looked behind, the guys were beelining it the opposite way. So I just played Threads of Fate the rest of the time until my Ma picked me up.

It's an interesting memory to have dfhjsfg

4. Random fact about your muse? 🌸｡*ﾟ+. Let's go with Riku for this: He's an excellent cook and will throw down in the kitchen like it's nobody's business. He was very self-sustaining growing up, and more often than not, he was the one making meals for himself and his Ma since she had a very busy work week. Try his food, it's delicious. 10/10, Data can vouch--

[paranormaltheatrekid]

[nagmaskarangungo]

For the few who're wandering where I've gone now, I'm gonna be visiting some relatives for the next few days, so I might as well just make that a sorta official semi-hiatus (since I kinda didn't felt like going on here for the past several days or smth woops)

[paramounticebound]

HOW DO YOU TRAGICALLY DIE?

BECAME A MARTYR

You knew what your death would mean to the world, and sacrificed yourself to make a statement. Your name became a rallying cry for the righteous, and through the influence of your death, you changed the course of history for the better.  

tagged by: @transcendcnce and @ensnchekov​ <3

tagging: @vuulpecula​ @starnamedlyra​ @thebrazenandbold​ (nicole!) @elencr​ @jundlcndwastes​ (juni!) @luposcainus @kalvaertar​ and YOU!

[awalkoflife-arc]

📸 for rooster from either hangman OR nancy, your choice ( also ofthclight )

Send a 📸 to see 3-5 6 pictures that my muse has/has taken of your muse(s)

jake seresin captured by bradley bradshaw, portraits throughout their courtship.

nancy-bo-bancy-banana-fanna-fo-fancy-adams, captured by bradwart bradshit.

@ofthclight

[nonbinarymlm]

I think it’s also important to accept that sometimes people will be wrong about their own identity. I mean, sometimes the leading experts in a field are still figuring things out or working without all the information, you know? It’s part of the process. 

Sometimes people will be wrong about their identities, and that’s okay. They’re on a journey and this is a step in that journey. It is not your job to fix or correct someone. You should NOT try. You can never know for sure who still has some serious learning ahead of them about themselves. It’s is NOT in any way morally wrong to still be in the process of learning about your identity or even be mistaken about your own identity. It’s part of the journey to learn about yourself. 

If someone’s a close friend you can serve as a sounding board and maybe gently tell them the impression they give you if they’re open to it, but that’s it.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve been right about people in the past or not. Do not try to “fix” anyone’s identity. It literally does not matter if you’re ultimately right about where they end up in terms of labels, that is their journey and you don’t truly know it.

I gotta say, so much queer intra-community horseshit dropped off my shoulders when I decided to adopt a firm policy that everyone is the expert in their own identity, the single most knowledgeable person about what it's like to live life in their own skin, and that if someone describes their experience in ways I find contradictory or paradoxical I should do them the courtesy of presuming that they are striving to express something very specific and nuanced, rather than leaping to the conclusion that they're just dumb and using words wrong.

Sure, there are some combinations of identity terms that I look at and go "hmm, I don't get how that works." I'm still a human being. But there's a big difference between not getting how something works versus insisting that it doesn't.

[tiktaaliker]

so a few days ago I accidentally set my queue to release 2 posts at a time and only noticed because my queue very quickly went from >50 to around 15. so now I am frantically trying to build up that buffer again