#queer tings

[treebranchy]

I personally think we should kiss it out, get it out of our systems quite frankly.

[r0larens]

i loveeeee bajoran women. not in a creepy dukat racial fetish sex slave way, but in a they represent the quintessential experience of womanhood by cherishing their strength and vulnerability and balancing obstinance with openness way. also in a gay way.

[r0larens]

every time i see her depicted in art i take her pic for the queers - from the art institute of chicago <3

this can't be just me

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

It’s me and my funky jewelry against the world

[leikeliscomet]

Asexual theory 101

Right I keep getting asked on most of my asexual posts 'What does this mean OP? Where's the sources?' so imma make a quick ace theory 101 post so if anyone says they don't get it I can say I tried. Let's go:

'What does being ace have to do with race/racism?/There's racism in the ace community???'

Pretty much everything as people of colour experience various forms of sexualisation and desexualisation at the same time, which is why POC are rarely included in asexual representation:

Asexuals of Color Still Seek to Validate Their Asexuality by Ebony Purks

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird

Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Asexual Identity by Timinepre Cole

It's Time To Start Celebrating Black Asexuality in Media By Tyger Songbird

Yasmin Benoit: ‘People had a hard time believing that I could be Black and asexual and at Pride’ by Alastair James

Brown and Gray: An Asexual People of Color Zine

'What do TERFS/transphobia have to do with asexuality?'

There's a growing TERF conspiracy theory that asexuality is the side-effect of transitioning. The LGB movement believes the community is exclusively for 'same-sex attracted persons' and so identities that don't involve attraction e.g. the TQIA should be removed. Most backlash towards Yasmin Benoit, aroace activist, is from white TERFs and conservatives:

Acephobic conspiracy theories have transphobic and fascist roots by Sherronda J Brown

'But how can conservatives hate asexuality if they hate sex?'

Because they don't and never did. If the term 'puritan' was used correctly in modern internet discourse, it would be known Christian puritans believe heterosexual sex for reproduction is a gift from god and mandatory so being asexual doesn't exactly fit with that worldview. Their beef is with any form of sex and sexuality that falls outside of cis heterosexual marriage, including asexuality. They're not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy:

"Anti-Sex" and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right by Lee Cicuta (ButchAnarchy)

The religious right is now targeting sexless marriages as “selfishness.” They Want to Ban Those Too by Tyger Songbird

Asexual people targetted by right-wing pundits following landmark report by Harriet Brewis

'What does being ace have to do with gender?'

It's commonly assumed that because patriarchy shames women's sexualities and considers all men's sexuality as biological and unavoidable, that ace women only and exclusively experience dsexualisation whilst ace men only and exclusively are pressured into being sexual beings. This can true as a broad overview but it can vary based on race, disability, class etc. This also becomes complex for asexuals that exist outside the gender binary. This is known as 'gender detachment'.

Impossible for Men, Unremarkable for Women by Canton Winer

My Work on Gender Detachment and Asexuality Strikes a Nerve by Canton Winer

'There's asexual studies now?'

Yup. On the general experiences of asexual people in the UK, including discrimination in education, the workplace and healthcare:

The National LGBT Survey (2018)

Ace in the UK Report (2023)

Specific names:

Asexual theorists: Ianna Hawkins, Michael Paramo, Julia Sondra Decker, Canton Winer (non-ace), Sherronda J Brown, Angela Chen

Asexual activists: Yasmin Benoit, Tyger Songbird, Marshall Blount (TheGentleAce), Kimberly Butler (TheAsexualGoddess)

And I'm gonna update this with more if they're worth adding. I don't wanna hear any excuses anymore or blame towards aces of colour, gay aces or trans aces for not being specific enough anymore. Read!

[qveerthe0ry]

Anyways can’t wait for the gangbang fics

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Character, book, and author names under the cut

Teo/Aurelio- The Sunbearer Duology by Aiden Thomas

Jiang Ting/Yan Xie- Po Yun/Breaking Through the Clouds by Huai Shang

Jin-Lu/Yi-Nereen/Kadrin- Magebike Courier: Road to Ruin by Hana Lee

Isabel Itoh/Tamsin Itoh- Record of a Spaceborn Few by Becky Chambers

[theriverwaves]

"There comes a time when you don't want to bully everyone. You just wanna bully someone you love"

[im-a-creator-im-a-sandwitch]

Just Couple Tings

Miranda and Clovis love studying Greek and always greet and say goodbye to each other in Greek. Even before they got together, it was their way of saying, "I love you."

[eighth-circle-criminal]

I think ive spent the last two weeks w the loml and i am over the moon about it

[meadow090]

playing d&d is therapeutic as hell, actually. would in fact recommend

[treebranchy]

am I in limerence rn?

I don't think so, I don't think I've put her on a pedestal. honestly I think it's just a crush that I need to kiss away. I think it only feels intense bc I just found out after resigning myself to the opposite that it's reciprocated

[unsafe-chikku]

My tax refund is going to more than cover the costs of filing for my legal name change. Once it comes in I’m going to file the appropriate paperwork.

Finally, I have both the money and opportunity (ie living away from unsupportive family) to get my new name!!

Very excited. 😊

My new first and middle name are gonna be:

First: Steven

(no nicknames like “Steve” if I can help it. I like my full name. I was like this about my deadname as a kid too.)

This is the third first name I chose. I chose it bc being involved in watching Steven Universe was part of the pivotal turn in my life

It may be a kids show but the themes of the show and character of Steven and especially Rebecca Sugar fighting to get their show made as she envisioned, all of that genuinely inspired me to be my true self more outwardly.

Middle: Ray

The second first name I chose! My original first name was Fae when I first identified as basically “I know I’m not a girl”.

I chose Ray because my mom used to sing “You are my Sunshine” to me in the car when I’d get fussy or to rock me to sleep. Being a ray of sunshine to others - it being kind and uplifting- is also something I try to aim for in life.

I changed it to my middle since certain family members used my cousin having a similar nickname as an excuse to deadname me. Plus o didn’t like how it was potentially androgynous.

Last initial: W.

Keeping my last name bc I like how it sounds altogether. Plus, I’m attached to it, even with my complicated feelings with family.

SRW

[notbornwithit]

[a-biochemist-not-a-bird]

in my feelings about freddie mercury's queerness

[leikeliscomet]

I've grown tired of posts that 'affirm' queer sexuality that throw asexual queer people under the bus. I'm tired of puritan sanitisation being blamed on the boring sexless frigid queers and not the long history and system of sexual puritanism which, spoiler alert, never supported sexless queer people ace or not regardless. I'm tired of 'progressive' compulsory sexuality being promoted and supported with a 'oh yeah some people are ace' slapped in at the end. I'm tired of every single post about how the sexless uwu pink sapphics and flowercrown gay boys or whatever scapegoat we're picking today is causing the downfall of the community and representation and not y'know, actual lesbophobia, homophobia etc. I'm tired of everyone assuming to be an asexual and/or sexless queer person means being white, feminine, delicate and soft because they can't imagine Blackness and masculinity as something compatible with being ace and/or sexless. I'm tired of asexual and/or sexless queerness being acknowledged as long we accept we're a niche minority and different from 'normal' and 'real' queerness. I'm tired of every recognition of asexual queerness being adlibbed with 'this is valid but remember most queer people are NOT like this' 'you're valid but remember the real queers fuck and we're not boring like these lot!' because the idea of a lesbian, gay, bi, pan or trans asexual is that uncomfortable and 'bad representation' for people to comprehend apparently. I'm tired of asexual and sexless being used as insults to attack other queer people and characters who 'fail' to live up to their queerness. I'm tired of queerness being that needs to be lived up to in the first place and not just something you are. I'm very tired of every post that's supposed to affirm my identity always degrading the other. I'm tired of being an other in a group of others.

EDIT: Obviously any aspec can and will relate to this post but I'm specifically talking about the erasure of lesbian asexuality and gay asexuality in general and how despite there being a rightful push for destigmatising gay desire, gay ace desire isn't seen as real or it's seen as lesser. This isn't an aroace post it's an ace lesbian one please don't remove that.