#quality got a lil fucked too but eh

[corpseclown]

Emil (pink dragon dude, he/him) and Meryvys (Chimera thingy, they/them)

Adderall giving me focus to finish stuff. Still sketchy as mainly trying out color stuff!

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 16

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 15 🟣 Part 17

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Ongoing vampire shenanigans, mentions of blood, biting, angst. SMUT, NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI, fingering, p-in-v sex, feral Mikey, vampire!Mikey's semi-nursing kink. I think that's all necessary warnings, but as always; tell me if I missed something, please!

Word count: 2999 (..... Not sure if satisfying or no.)

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Life got in the way. And I mean really in the way. It's probably going to be like that for a while. Anyway. Enjoy Mikey and vampire shenanigans.

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @ellethespaceunicorn @sillyrabbit81 @livisss @itsrubberbisquit @ktficworld

He opened the door hesitantly. “Eh, Sweetcheeks?” The trembling of his voice made you freeze up under the blankets. “It’s, eh… It’s okay. I’m gonna take a shower and I could really use a hug. Hi, August. Sorry to interrupt your moment.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mike,” August answered to your surprise, and even with a light chuckle to his voice. “I get why you were keeping her to yourself now,” he added, “she’s incredible.”

His words made you blush, especially when Mike grinned and doubled down on the praise. “Yeah, she is! And those little noises she makes are so cute.”

You didn’t quite know how to react. Normally you’d have berated him for sharing those intimate details with others but, put bluntly, the ‘others’ in question had just fucked you to the moon and back.

Too.

Also.

Before you could gather your thoughts enough to give Mike an answer, he turned back. “Anyway, see you in a bit, yeah?”

“You hurried because you knew he was coming home?” you asked August when you heard Mike turn the water on.

“I could tell he wasn’t feeling so great, and I figured he’d need some comfort,” August said, omitting a direct ‘yes’. “Go join him.”

You searched his face for any sign of disapproval or disappointment at leaving him now, but you found nothing but a gentle smile and a strange, lingering sense of appreciation radiating from the way he looked at you.

It should have felt weird to climb out of August’s bed and wander towards the bathroom, not even bothering to put on any clothes, but it didn’t — although it proved to be a relatively poor decision when you ran into Marshall in the hallway, who didn’t quite know where to look.

“Wow, she’s fit.”

“Excuse me?” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as you asked your question — and so did his.

“I didn’t say anything,” he said with a shrug. A brief pause followed, filled with the single most awkward silence you’d experienced in your entire life.

“No… You were thinking it…”

“God, first time this happens and that’s what she catches?”

“Yes, Marshall. That’s what I caught,” you said with a grin before walking towards him. Without thinking, you put a hand on the side of his face. “Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn.”

One second your hand was on his cheek, the next he had it pinned to the wall, over your head. Marshall held both of your hands there with one of his, with insufferable ease.

“I can smell him on you.” It was a growl — and a particularly gritty one at that — and an accusation. “Why should I wait any longer?” Your heart pounded in your chest as he lowered his head to nip at your neck. “I’m not going to watch from the sidelines forever, love. I want what’s mine.”

“And you’ll have me,” you said, shocking yourself with your newfound confidence, “but Mikey needs me, and I made him a promise. So be a good boy and let go of me. Oh, and work on this temper.” You stared into his eyes, almost losing your nerve, but you managed to last until Marshall slowly relaxed his grip on your arms until they dropped to your sides. What he didn’t do, was move away.

“Don’t start something now that you won’t be able to finish later,” he snarled before disappearing into his room.

You weren’t trembling when you resumed your way to the bathroom, which was strange, because you felt like you should have been doing just that. There had never been any tension with Marshall before — except maybe for that incident when he’d ripped your arm to shreds by accident. Other than that, everything had been especially easy with him.

Until now.

What had changed? Was he upset with you because he thought he was last, in some way? Technically, he wasn’t. You’d never slept with Sherlock — which was something that irked you in its own right, but those feelings were hardly relevant at this point in time.

Well, what did he expect you to do? Show up at his door wearing nothing but a pair of heels and beg him to take you? No. You couldn’t quite imagine that he felt legitimately entitled to you in some way, despite his words from before. Besides, you didn’t feel much for that scenario, or any other scenario where you boldly offered yourself up on a silver platter for him to enjoy.

Maybe — just maybe — Marshall had to take a second to get over himself.

You shook your head, as if to cleanse it of your thoughts about Marshall — which, you only realized now, he had indubitably heard — and focused on the blurry shape of Mike behind the fogged-up shower wall.

“Hmm, did I just hear you put the big bad wolf in his place?” Mike asked, no doubt with a huge grin on his face, but it was impossible to see.

“I could hear his thoughts,” you half-chuckled in complete disbelief. Marshall had mentioned the projection of gifts could persist beyond feedings, and you weren’t surprised he was the first with whom it happened, but… you were just a little floored it had happened at all.

“Look at you becoming a force to be reckoned with,” Mike said as you slid the door open and joined him in the shower. He was definitely grinning. Mike wasted no time to pull you in, wrapping you in a massive hug. “Alright, so… I’m toast for the semester.  Only one of my professors will allow me to do a make up assignment for the labs I missed… The other two I’ll have to retake next year.” He hid his face in your neck, pulling you even closer.

“Mikey, I need to breathe,” you managed when Mike continued to crush you, but as soon as the words left your mouth, he relaxed his grip.

“Sorry, Sweetcheeks, just… rough day. I really fucked up by leaving, and… I know it’s fair that it’s coming back to bite me in the ass, but it also hurts.” There were tears in his eyes, he sounded tired and he felt cold, despite…

“You didn’t get enough yesterday, did you?” you laughed. Mike shrugged and smiled apologetically.

“I’ve never felt that level of thirst before… it was excruciating. Yesterday I took everything I could without getting sick. If you’re up for it, I could definitely use a little more, later.”

“Of course, baby, I’m all yours!” You kissed the tip of his nose and rested your hands on his lower back. It was just impossible to keep them from gently stroking the dimples in it, the soft curve of his ass — tight and round and so perfect you were the one who would love to get a bite for a change…

“How was August?” Mike asked, nothing but mischief in his eyes. Were you imagining things, or did he really want an honest answer? Alright then…

“Fantastic,” you muttered, heat creeping up to your cheeks as you spoke. “Are you sure you want to hear about it?”

Without warning, he turned you around and shoved you into the dark-tiled wall. “I’m sure I want you back…” The way he inhaled deeply through his nose held something primal, something almost violent, as he took in your scent, and no doubt August’s as well. “I want to… compete with whatever of him is left on your skin.” Over your shoulder, you noticed that he flashed fang on his next smile, making you bite your lip in anticipation. “You’re in for it now, Sweetcheeks.”

You thought the hand that closed around your throat did so in the shower, but when you opened your eyes you were on your knees on Mikey’s bed — still wet from the shower, your hair dripping everywhere. He didn’t care. His breathing was fast, ragged, with little snarls escaping him on almost every exhale — and every last one of those sounds sent shivers down your spine.

His free hand traveled down your side, following the curve of your hip before moving over your thigh and slowly trailing back up. With his leg, he effortlessly pushed yours apart, giving his hand space to gently explore your pussy. Not that there was much exploring left for him. By now, he knew that particular area of your body about as well as he was ever going to.

He lightly circled your clit with a single finger, making you whine as he played you like a fiddle — then whine again, louder this time, when he abandoned his pursuit to slip his fingers into your wetness. As he did, a growl escaped him — a sound that was followed by a gentle nip at your earlobe.

He was impatient, which — of course — wasn’t unusual for him, but today it was definitely worse than ever before. His fingers moved almost erratically, and abandoned you after only a short time. It didn’t matter much; August had taken good care of you over and over and over again… You could do without an orgasm on this one. Nevertheless, you moved your hips in search of more friction, smiling coyly when you felt his hard cock grind into your ass from behind, and soon, your movements were about teasing Mike rather than chasing your own pleasure.

He didn’t like that much.

“You know, you managed to tell Marshall off today, but when he just decides you’re his, what are you going to do?” With a single move, he pushed his cock into you, making you swear under your breath as he stretched you out.

“Mike, are you wearing…”

“A little trust, Sweetcheeks. I’m horny, not an idiot. Okay, I am an idiot, but not... you know what I mean.” When you both laughed, his grip around your throat slacked. “Sorry about that,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses against your shoulder while he gently rocked his hips against your ass.

“No, I think I like feral Mikey,” you chuckled, running a hand through his still soaking wet curls. He laughed and nuzzled your neck — it was adorable.

“It’s weird…” No, what was weird was having a whole ass conversation while getting railed from behind, but go off. “I’m not jealous. It feels like I should be, but I shouldn’t be, and I’m not. I just want you too.”

“So, take me.” Excuse the fuck out of you? Where did that come from?

Mike seemed to think the same thing, because he paused, and a curious little whimper escaped him. “What?”

“Mike,” you said, your tone serious, “I want you to fuck me hard.”

“Oh.” He nipped at your earlobe. “I can do that.”

And then, playtime was over. You grabbed his hair and threw your hips back to meet his thrust, his arms snaking around you, holding you in a vice-like grip with nowhere to go. It was raw and passionate, and undeniably hot, until…

“Mike, don’t lick me!”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Fuck. You hadn’t thought about that. Vice-like grip. Nowhere to go. And he wasn’t going to let go of you.

“I can think of something,” you growled. A lie. There was nothing you could think of to do to him that wasn’t either really cruel or he wouldn’t enjoy. Unless… “No boobies for you,” you said sternly, making it — hopefully — very clear what you meant.

He picked up on the hint. “You’re not supposed to deny us feeding over petty squabbles,” he helpfully reminded you. As if you’d forgotten that rule.

“No. But I can tell you it’s wrist or bust, Mike.” Shit. Not quite the right moment for that particular expression.

“And I pick ‘bust’,” he laughed, licking your neck. It sent shivers through your entire body. Sometimes, the licking wasn’t really so bad at all…

“Mike!” you warned.

“Okay, okay,” he grumbled, clearly very displeased — and very adorable. From then on, he stuck to squeezing your boobs and nibbling on your neck and shoulder while he kept pounding into you.

“Good boy,” you said in a half-mocking tone — which made it all the more surprising when Mike’s hips stuttered, and he came as if on command.

“Shit,” he muttered barely loud enough for you to catch it. Next, he disappeared. For a moment you were scared he wouldn’t come back, but he appeared next to you on the edge of the bed as if he’d never left the room.

“So,” you said, putting a hand around his shoulders, “I take it you liked that?”

“Babe, please don’t tease me,” he said, something wobbly and confused in his voice. He seemed a little lost.

“Get me a towel, clean this wet mess up, and meet me in my room, okay?” The look in his eyes was a sincere expression of gratitude.

Of course it took him all of two minutes to get the room cleaned up — and, as a rather frustrated Marshall apparently pointed out, half of the hallway. You hadn’t even finished drying your hair when he showed up behind you, wrapping you up in another massive hug.

“Hi,” he sighed before kissing your neck. “Can we cuddle?” Whatever had been keeping him going before had now faded, and he was the regular, puppy-eyed boyfriend radiating the golden retriever energy you were used to. Without saying a word, you wormed your way out of his embrace and scrambled to get under the covers.

“Wanna watch a movie, baby?” you asked, already knowing what the answer would be. Before he even answered you, Mike disappeared for a moment, and returned seconds later with a bunch more pillows in his arms, and your favorite blanket from the living room. You’d always joked with your friends how you stayed with Mike specifically for his nest-building abilities, and although it was an exaggeration that you were with him just for that, it was certainly a factor in keeping you as happy as you were with him. Plus, he was fast. Definite bonus.

“Lock the door,” you said with a wink, “I don’t think we’re going to leave this room any time soon, and I really want you to myself for a bit.” Mike chuckled when you raised your voice on that last bit, making sure everyone in the house had heard you.

“Then we’ll need snacks,” Mike concluded, and without waiting for your reply — which would have been affirmative, because (let’s face it) watching a movie without snacks was just… significantly less awesome than watching a movie with snacks — he disappeared again.

“You and these jellybeans,” you laughed when he returned with a bag of your favorite popcorn, tortilla chips and cheese dip, and a large bag of jellybeans. He definitely wasn’t eating as much as he had been, but you couldn’t exactly say he’d really been kicking the habit. “Door,” you reminded him when he tried to get in bed with you.

“Already locked,” he chuckled, but he walked over to it — slowly, even — nonetheless to show you it was really locked.

“Alright, now get over here!” Never tell a vampire that; the way he slammed into you when he did what you said immediately actually hurt.

He couldn’t sit still; the whole time, Mike was squirming against you anxiously, holding you tighter, his grip slacking again, wriggling, wrapping his legs around you. Not watching the movie for a single second. It was odd. Normally, Mike’s hands would have been exploring whatever bit of skin of yours he could reach — and absolutely some places he couldn’t reach without removing an obstacle like clothing first. This time… None of that.

“Mike you can’t crawl into me, what’s wrong with you today?” you laughed quietly as you stroked your silly boyfriend’s messy dark curls.

“Missed you,” he muttered, pulling you closer again. “I left and then you were angry and now you’re not angry, but you didn’t sleep next to me and I missed you.”

“I’m here now,” you whispered, still stroking his hair, “I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“Babe,” he whispered after a while — he’d been trying really hard to sit still and watch the movie, but was ultimately very unsuccessful, “I’m really fucking hungry.” There was a tremble to his voice, and it took an encouraging nudge from you for him to move down until his face was level with your boobs. He hesitated.

“It’s okay, I know you want to,” you said. And it was true; you knew he wanted to. You really knew that he really wanted to bite you — and not just for food, but for comfort too. That’s what he was hesitant about. You chuckled softly. “I can feel it, Mike, there’s no need to hide. You’re home, you’re safe… and you’re loved.”

When you smiled down at him, you saw the tears in his eyes as he gently bit down on your boob. He fed slowly, drawing it out as much as he could. Of course you didn’t mind; you felt as amazing as you always did when someone fed on you. And then there was the added bonus of feeling Mike slowly settling down next to you, becoming calmer with every passing second. Some time after you’d watched him close his eyes, you felt his fangs retreat, but his mouth did not leave its post, and you chuckled as you let your own eyes fall shut and quietly enjoyed the sensation.

“I’m—”

You didn’t let him finish his sentence. “Mike, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I wasn’t okay with it. It was quite nice, actually.” He quietly smiled up at you before snuggling into your side again, and you felt his desire to be close to you flare up as he did. You wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could manage and turned your attention back to the movie.

You were lucky to have him — and for the first time you were truly certain you’d never lose him again.

[vannahmontannah]

Dangerous Personalities ~ Kai Cenat Story

THE REST IS ON WATTPAD @ VANNAHMONTANNAH

The night of my anniversary finally hit and I am excited for the next new venture in my life. Kai said he was picking me up and taking me done to the venue. He's always been so good to me and sometimes I question why, but it's just his character. I remember the very first day we met. Sometimes I think it was a sign, other times not so much.

~2 years earlier~

I was stressed out because me and my brother just had another fight. Rylo and I sometimes don't get along and we clash! He just doesn't understand me and doesn't wanna open up. I left and went to the diner down the street because I was hungry as hell not gonna hold you. Maybe that's why I was so upset with him. This wasn't no 1960's shit either. It was modern with good quality food, might I add.

I was waiting for my background to come back to see if I'm eligible to move. I've been living with Rylo since I was 13. Our mother wasn't the best and our father passed the day I was born. She just gave us away and told Rylo to watch after us and he did just that. I love my brother, it's just sometimes we have our fights, but we're back to normal as always.

I sat down and ordered my food and scrolled on social media until my food came.

"I'll be glad when my background gets back. Gone be on my own shit, for real! Sick of this bullshit!"

"What bullshit?"

"Excuse me?" I said.

"I heard you complaining over here. Just wanted to be nosey,"

"Sir, why are you even paying attention to me?"

This man was about 5'5, he was dark skin, had long locs, and full lips. He had on a black muscle shirt, some black slacks, black dress shoes, and a very expensive watch. He had a lot of tattoos all over his arms as well. Who is this fine man?!

"I mean, you were speaking out loud,"

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes.

"What's with the attitude?"

"I was just trynna end the conversation. I didn't think I had an attitude,"

"You need some company?"

"No—"

"Sure you do,"

He got up from the seat behind me and sat across from me. He smiled in an evil way and waved at me. I let out a small giggle letting him know that he impressed me.

"What's your name?"

"Rylan,"

"Nice to meet you, Rylan. My name is Kailen. See how our names sort of rhyme?"

"Corny,"

"Damn. I thought I was trynna lighten the mood,"

"My bad. It's cute. I like it,"

"Thank you. So what brings you here all alone?"

"My brother and I had a small fight. We just clash a lot,"

"That's how me and my closest cousin were at one point. We were tighter than the Kardashian's medical procedures,"

"You ain't right," I laughed.

"But it's true though. You couldn't keep us away from each other,"

"I love my brother dearly, he just gets on my everlasting nerves,"

"He loves you though. Never forget that," he smiled.

"I won't. So what do you do for a living?"

"Me? Well...I'm a cop,"

"Oh! You a fed!"

"Call it what you want, baby girl. The way you was talking to me, I was gone put them cuffs on you. Maybe the other kind if you be a lil more nice," he winked.

"Okay! You're done!"

I laughed and seemed to forget what I was mad about.

"My brothers don't fuck with the police,"

"Eh! Get that a lot. I just might know your brothers...never talk much about you though,"

"What's my brother's name's then?"

"Rylo...Rizo...and RJ,"

"Hmm...okay,"

"I be hearing about them here and there. Ian trynna scare you,"

"Nah, I get it. My bro's are pretty popular around town,"

"You're too good for them. You don't need to be around that mess,"

"What? You gone tell the people at the leasing office to expedite my background?"

"I can't get them to do that, but I can help you in your journey,"

"Really? How?"

"I can get you around the right people and get you out of your brothers shadow faster,"

"I'll just make a way myself, however, I do have a business that's also overwhelmingly successful, that it's becoming too much to keep up with. I'm moving, doing school, and running a business all by myself with minimal help,"

"I see you're very passionate about these things,"

"Yeah. Rylo got me started with some pointers, but he's been extra busy lately,"

"I'll tell you what? If you give me your number...I can change your world,"

"Change my world?"

"Yeah. What woman don't want a supportive man by their side. If not a man, at least a friend,"

"You're willing to help me?"

"Yes. Whatever you need, I got you,"

"One fuck up, you're through,"

"You got my word,"

~~~~~~~

From that day forward, he has been the best man a woman could ask for. I just wish Rylo would realize that! But I'm not about to argue with that man. This is my life and I live it the way I want to live it.

Brittany and Kacey had texted me and let me know they are at the venue and ready for my grand entrance. Everyone is there but me. Kai said he's on his way, so I should be there any minute. I took one more look in the mirror and admired my look. I look so good!

"You are really gonna blow them people away tonight," Kai said.

"Thank you, babe,"

"You ready to go? Everybody's waiting on you,"

"Yeah, I'm ready to go. Tonight is going to be perfect and nothing will go wrong tonight!"

"That's right baby girl. Tonight is all about you,"

He grabbed my hand and we both walked out the front door. I made sure to lock my house up and Kai escorted me to the car. We were riding in his 2023 Benz SUV. He opened the door for me and let me inside being the gentleman that he is. He is the perfect match for me.

[clearalibi]

Day 2! Upped 1.1 to 1.5 mph which is absolutely null but I didnt want to overdo it because I have a habit of doing that sort of thing. Saw the Greek god again, he appeared to do pull ups right in front of me eee, I really think he might be from Greece...Mel said theres way hotter but our tastes seem to differ pretty vastly except for Gerry. Eh she agreed Sam V and Ren are "cute and alright but not my type" so I guess Imma give her the benefit of the doubt. Still a lil mad she said that about Barry tho. He called himself a model and a legend on hot ones, scoffing at the title of actor..I agree when he said he doesn't seem like one of them. Probably cause he's an Irish wolf god or something. Mel had the audacity to say something shitty about his eyes! Oh I wanted to say something mean about Benson soooo bad, I didnt, I should've called her a filthy casual that would've hit.

But! I am not being empathetic enough. (If only there was a Naturo like individual to help me.) There is prob a lil envy behind her support. Even though I was helping her dream big looking at Gerrys studio home combo and having other combos discussed. After I explained to her what kickstarter and patreon was, fuck i gotta keep her young is 10 years really that much of a difference??? she expressed she wants to do something, but shes like i dunno all I have is crystals. Why didn't I fucking ask her to film my shit? Why would I trust my ex's sis over my bestie? That bich dont know me and when I vaguely asked if she'd help me film something in time for VDAY she assumed it was for her bro. Yet she couldnt be upfront enough to say I misunderstood no, she had to ghost me and fucking gatekeep really?!?! Sorry that too many people fucking triggers me and you decided to adopt 7 fucking kids. Fuck you hoe. You and his ma shouldn't have given off fucking Lannister vibes the first time we met, weirded me tf out.

I thought of Cat because it was the obvious choice, I wanted quality, this could be my only chance. I'm gonna suggest this next weekend, get a feel for her, she might get super into it. Then maybe I can mute Ren and show her Animal Flow because rewatching things with different povs of what to focus on is fun idc.

Now that I know how Mel feels about Brits idfk how to feel about her to be real. But I also need to lose this complex feeling of I LOVE HIM WHY CANT YOU SEE WHAT I SEE that I have.

I have been trying to be civil with my mom despite the fact that she pimped me out 3 times but the ex was the only one to get some. She actually paid my crush to do yardwork I shit yall not. I'm glad he did a shitty job, I'm actually gonna give him kudos to that...and now that I think of it maybe he was where my aversion to blondes stems from.

I was telling the ex it would be soooo fun, if the closest we can get to the next Eminem also got famous for roasting a mother figure. I swear I have tried to be the bigger person, but this cunt is still turning my grandmother against me. FOR NO REASON!!! BECAUSE I WONT LIVE UNDER HER THUMB. BITCH I AM 31. GET A LIFE!!!!!

Seeing how she handles her spiders I now know if I had any doubt, that I'm only alive because my grandparents mostly raised me...to their credit I don't think they brainwashed me, I think they saw how problematic my ma and her bros turned out and reevaluated themselves.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Carla Route ー Sub Scenario w/Yuma

–> In between the main route chapters, the player is taken to the area map of the Parade where you can freely roam around. There are four different places to visit, each with different mini games and sub scenarios to enjoy.

AREA: SMARAGO MOUNTAIN

CHARACTER: YUMA

ー The scene starts by the volcano

Carla: ...What is this scent? 

Yui: It smells lovely. I think it might be coming from over there?

ー They follow the scent

Yuma: ...Hm? Why are ya guys here...?

Yui: Um, we got lured in by the delicious scent...

What has brought you here, Yuma-kun? 

Yuma: Isn’t that obvious? I’m grillin’ up some meat, see? 

*Pssh*

Carla: ...Hooh. This is a high-quality cut of meat.

Yuma: Hehe, looks good, doesn’t it? Do ya want some as well? 

Yui: What should we do, Carla-san?

Carla: ...No, I shall pass.

Yuma: Geez, you’re such a party pooper.

Carla: After all...I already have this cured ham.

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( A pack of cured ham!? He has been carrying it around with him... )

Yuma: Oh!? Actually, that’s perfect! Gimme that for a sec.

*Rustle rustle*

Carla: ーー Oi...!? 

Yui: ( He stole Carla-san’s cured ham...!? )

Yuma: Don’t gimme that look. It’ll be much tastier if ya sear it for just a few secoーー

*Pshh*

Yuma: ーー Whoops, ahー ...Guess the flames were a lil’ too strong...

Yui: ( Carla-san’s cured ham got swallowed by the fire and instantly disappeared...! )

Carla: ...You bastard...!

Yuma: I-I’m sorry, ‘kay!? But there’s still a couple of slices left, see? Just watch. I’ll get it right this ti...ーー

*BOOM*

Yui: Kyahーー!

Yuma: ーー Oi! This shit erupted!? Better run!

*Thud*

Carla: ...Oi. Leave the rest of the cured ham behind. 

Yuma: Haah!? I don’t give a flyin’ fuck ‘bout this shiーー

*BOOM*

Yuma: ーー F-Fine! I’ll give it back! Here!

*Thud*

Carla: You fiend...You have to treat this product with care. Or elseーー

*BOOM*

*CRASH*

Yui: ( A-Another eruption!? )

Yuma: ーー !? My bad! I swear I’ll never do it again...!

Anyway ya Founders are hella scary! I didn’t know ya were this powerful, honestly...

Oi, you! Imma make a run for it, so take care of the rest!

Yui: Eh? Yuma-kun!? 

ー Yuma runs away

Carla: ...Those Vampires are as weak as ever...

Yui: B-But you can’t blame him. You can even cause a volcanic eruption with your powers...!

Carla: ...You actually believe what he said? 

Yui: What do you mean...?

Carla: It was just a mere coincidence this time. ...Although it would be possible for me to do that.

Yui: ( He actually can!? )

( I better be careful not to upset him either... )

ーー THE END ーー

[just-a-creep-babe]

What type of April fools pranks would the creeps pull

-tiny anon

I, ah, went more-so with how they act on April fools instead of what pranks they do, mostly just cause I’m bad at thinking of pranks :”)

ALSO I didn’t have much time to write this & I wanted it out by today, so it might not be as refined as my other writing 😳👉👈

Nonetheless, hope this is alright! ☺️💖

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

No pranks from him tbh

This tired eldritch dad is, unfortunately, probably gonna (unintentionally) get the brunt of most pranks—just cause he’s at the wrong place at the wrong time 😐😔

And, y’know, you would THINK that because he’s telepathic, he’d be able to get a read on what the lil shits are planning, right?

But nope

He never prods into the others’ brains unless he has a reason to (out of respect for their privacy), so he ultimately always ends up paying the price

It doesn’t help that he tends to forget humans have this specific tradition once a year

Otherwise, he probably WOULD peer into their minds to find out what they’re planning

It somehow just always sneaks up on him smh

There was maybe only one year that he just so ~happened~ to remember

And that was pretty much the only year he didn’t get fooled by anyone/anything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jeff the Killer

Oh boy

One of the absolute worst people to get pranked by

When he combines forces with BEN?

The two are unstoppable

Pranks range from the classic slime-over-the-doorframe trick to some of the most innovative, dickish pranks he can think of

If only he used his powers for good 😔👊

He can & WILL flip the entire mansion around, if need be, to prank people

Nothing’s off limits if it means he gets to humiliate someone

(Even though he should know not to cross certain boundaries smdh)

He pretty much always ends up having to do EXTRA chores for Slender as a punishment for going too far :”)

BEN Drowned

My mans is part of the aforementioned chaos duo

Being a ghost entity that roams the internet, he happens to get ~plenty~ of ideas to fool the others with

He will legit spend WEEKS planning ahead for what he wants to do, how he wants to do it & how it’s all going to go down

Again, if only he used his powers for good :”)

This day of the year is, like, legit the one & only day he plans everything out to a tee

He’s usually a lazy boi™️ but no shortcuts are EVER to be taken on April fools

His fave victims include Masky (it’s funny to see him get so upset), Dark Link (I mean, he’s not gonna pass up an opportunity to embarrass his rival), and, surprisingly, Jeff

He LOVES turning the tables on his prank buddy

Jeff tries to get him back for it, but it’s very difficult to properly fool BEN 👀

Such are the perks of being a super smart internet-lurking ghost, I suppose 🤷‍♀️

Eyeless Jack

Eh, he’s not too keen on the whole thing

He considers himself a bit too mature to deal with that kind of “childish behaviour”

He’s not very fun to prank either, because A) he’s got super fast reflexes, B) he’s got heightened senses, and C) if the others somehow manage to catch him off guard despite that, he’ll just be like “ok cool” and carry on with his day

No Shits Given

Still, knowing how goddamn chaotic the mansion gets during this time of year, more often than not, he tends to make himself sparse

Either he locks himself up in his room, or he sticks around the creeps that also don’t like the tradition, or he leaves and goes,,, wherever he usually goes when he disappears from the mansion sometimes

On the rare occasion that he does stay behind, he might help one of the creeps to get their revenge on someone that pranked them

But only if he’s feeling particular playful that day, which doesn’t happen very often

Honestly, because he takes pity on Slender, if he comes back to the mansion being a mess, he’ll help clean things up

Overall a good boi that deserves some head pats for not turning into a goddamn monkey like the others smh

Masky

Masky is essentially the 2nd tired dad figure that has to deal with “this shit again,” as he puts it

Except, unlike Slender, the others aren’t scared of him, so he might ultimately get the worse brunt of it (even worse than what his boss gets)

Something about the way he reacts just makes for some ✨quality content✨ to the others

And, just because they can, they like to film him

It sucks for Masky, because not only does he get his ass handed to him, but then the others also get blackmail footage of him 😐😐

He hates it lmfaoo

Honestly considers hiding under a rock until the day’s over

But, somehow, they always manage to find him & drag him back out into the fray

This poor manses can’t catch a break

Someone help him please—he’s too tired to deal with this 😔🤘

Hoodie

I know we haven’t gotten to him yet, but Hoodie’s somewhere between Toby & EJ when it comes to the tradition

He’s relatively laid-back & won’t actively go out of his way to fool someone

But, hey, if there’s a prank to be had like right there, who’s he to not go for it?

His pranks tend to be relatively low effort—like a joke or a lie or something that tricks someone into believing something kinda stupid

His victim makes a fool of themselves, everyone has a good laugh, then the joke’s over & people move on

Albeit sometimes, the gag lasts longer than intended

Like that one year he convinced Toby that slugs can communicate telepathically because of all the fungus they eat

And Toby believed it for many months until Slender had to break the news to him 😔😔

Also, somehow?? homeboy’s damn near impossible to prank

Many have tried, all have failed—no one knows how he does it 🤷‍♀️

Ticci Toby

Prank time! Prank time! Prank time!

Boy fucking lives for the day he gets to have fun & mess around with the others

Every year most likely ends up with him getting injured, but hey, nothing new there :/

Unlike BEN & Jeff, he probably won’t turn the mansion upside-down (both figuratively and literally smh) to trick people 

He’s more-so in it for the goofs

Like he doesn’t actually wanna humiliate or embarrass anyone too badly, ya know?

He’ll recruit others & form a prank gang because he knows there’s strength in numbers 😌✨

And it’s an unspoken code that those in the prank gang can’t prank each other

So, honestly?

Toby might be the most wholesome April fools-er out of everyone :3

[peach-pops]

may i perhaps request a continuation of the suga, noya and kags hqs of them meeting ukais niece? like when they start datin and ukai catches them smoochin or just being gross🤢 and kinda stands there like 👁👄👁 if u dont want to just ignore this

Sorry this took sooooo long! This doesn’t have to be a continuation from the first one but if you guys want to check it out, it’s here!

Kageyama, Suga, and Noya Get Caught By Ukai

Kageyama 

Kageyama is not a fan of PDA and you may quote me on that

He can MAYBE handle hand holding underneath a table and if he’s feeling a bit bold, a quick kiss on the cheek in the hallways is a possibility only if no one is looking 

He wasn’t embarrassed of you but lets be real, he is always at practice or some volleyball event and it would be pretty awkward for him to start kissing his girlfriend when his coach, and also your uncle, is only a few feet away 

Your schedule was pretty jam-packed and that meant it was really hard for you to go to his games especially since Ukai expected you to run the store when he was off with the Karasuno boys

This meant that you hardly ever got to see Kageyama play but a part of him didn’t mind because that took less pressure off of him

Ohhhh boy but then the day came where you were able to go watch a game and of course, it had to be the most important one of the season. Shiratorizawa vs Karasuno 

That day, Kageyama was a complete mess for a number of reasons but to know that you were going to be at his game terrified him 

The game was intense and you were standing the whole time because you couldn’t bring your nerves down at all no matter how hard Saeko and Akiteru tried, you were a nervous wreck 

Wait this is separate from the hc but can we pls talk about HOW FUCKING HOT TSUKI’S OLDER BROTHER IS ??? 

Sorry anyway

To think that the first volleyball game you were seeing was the one to dictate whether or not your boyfriends team made it to nationals was insane but you had so much faith in the team that they would pull it off

You couldn’t even move when Karasuno won the last point. Hell, you even forgot to breath for a second but once you saw the team celebrate together on the court, you felt so proud because they really did the impossible

You shout for Kageyama and when he looks up to see you standing up in the bleachers, he has the BIGGEST smile on his face because holy shit THEY WERE GOING TO NATIONALS!!!!

HE’S CHEESIN SO HARD uwu

After the awards, you wait for Karasuno at the gymdoors and when Kageyama sees you, He runs over to you and literally sweeps you off your feet 

Kageyama doesn’t know if it’s from the adrenaline of the win or the absent nerves but all he wants to do is kiss you

So he does AHHHHH IN FRONT OF ALL HIS TEAMMATES

Tanaka and Noya are screaming their heads off their so proud !!! Suga is obviously shielding Hinata’s eyes 

He kisses you so hard as if it would be his last and it catches you off guard because um hello??? Who is this man kissing you?? 

this was the same Kageyama that gave you head pats instead of kisses when he was around his friends and now he’s kissing you as if his life depends on it

But you’re not complaining you’re a bit too busy at the moment trying to enjoy the moment

All he can think about is you; any other sound around him is completely muffled but once the two of you pull away for air, his smile drops so quickly and he almost drops you to the floor 

“ Tobio? What’s wrong-” You turn to look over to where he’s staring and your heart drops when you see your Uncle Ukai with his arms crossed

Kageyama stops breathing and he literally turns white cause he’s TERRIFIED AND SO EMBARRASSED 

Ukai is kinda weirded out more than anything because first off, he didn’t even think Kageyama showed any emotion besides anger or disinterest and second, he’s always known to be the ‘cool uncle’ 

Like should he really be yelling??? They’re just kids??? He did a lot worst stuff at his age-

“ It’s not what it looks-”

“ I think I’m just gonna…” Ukai kinda points off to the side and awkwardly steps around the two of you because he rather not think about his student and his niece kissing 

so he kinda gives Kageyama a pass? Not because it’s Kageyama you’re dating but just because emotions are so high and it’s like eh okay??

If anything, it would just be kinda awkward between Ukai and Kageyama during practice/school like just lil nods like “ okay I guess you’re dating my niece” and “ okay I guess I’m dating you’re niece”

Sugawara

Suga is just so sweet let me put that out there because it must be known

You two had only been dating for a short time but you both were already so comfortable with each other

He knows you work late some days at Ukai’s store so he always stops by after practice to check up on you and makes sure you ate dinner and that you were caught up with your homework

Tonight was no different as Suga walks in and sees you behind the register trying your best not to fall asleep

“ Ukai isn’t here?” 

“ Nope, he texted me and said he was going to stop by the house before coming over with dinner. I wish he would hurry up. I’m about to pass out” You yawned as Suga greeted you with a kiss on the cheek as you kicked over a stool so he could sit on the opposite side of the counter,” how was practice?”

“ Kageyama and Hinata got into it again during practice so you know, the usual. I missed you a lot today though, I feel like I hardly ever get to see you.” 

*Cue sad puppy dog Suga*

You two weren’t the type of couple to always be attached at the hip. You had your own things to do and so did he but that didn’t stop you both from missing each other

“ I know Koshi but at least you’re here now.”

You had a point, he cherished any time that the two of had together, even if it was only for a few minutes and now that he was with you, he could show you how much he missed you

Suga got rid of his pouty face and leaned over the counter to kiss you but this time, it was way different than any kiss the two of you shared before. His lips were so warm and you practically melted into him because you two hadn’t had time alone in a quick minute

Ukai was on his phone as he stepped into the store but when he looked up to see his niece smooching with one of his students, he was so freaked out he just shouted

“ WHA-HEY! NO KISSING WHILE WORKING!” 

You pushed Suga off of you but the force of your push sent you falling backwards in your chair and you landed on the ground with a thud

You groaned and held your head as Ukai and Suga peeked over the counter to make sure you were still alive,” Wah! You said you weren’t coming to the shop until later!” 

“ Change of plans, my Uncle senses were going crazy and I’m glad I listened to them! What if a customer walked in and saw two hormonal teenagers going at it?”

“ AIYA alright!” You shouted, feeling more embarrassed than before as you got off the floor. 

Suga was lowkey panicking cause he wasn’t even sure what to say. How could he even ease the tension between his girlfriend and coach ???? 

“ I uhm-” Suga started as Ukai looked over at him,” I’m sorry Ukai-san! I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N!” 

Suga bows respectfully as you and Ukai watch him leave the store. Once he’s gone, Ukai only laughs and grabs an apron from the hook. 

“ Why are you laughing? You basically traumatized him!” 

“ A little fear never hurt anybody but good job, you managed to pick a decent guy for once,” You uncle teased as he patted your head and started to sweep the store

Ukai was definitely protective of who you dated and he had a suspicion that you were going out with someone but now that he knew it was Suga out of all people, he wasn’t worried at all 

Of course, he could never say that outloud because again, fear keeps guys in check 

Nishinoya 

Oh god okay 

You live with your uncle Ukai because your parents always traveled a lot for work and since Ukai is literally the coolest uncle in the world, you liked living with him

He would’ve let you live with him anyway but because you offered to help him out at the store, it kinda stuck and that’s how you got into helping him out

Noya and you had been dating for a while now and while Ukai knew the two of you were together, he never really brought it up because a big part of him didn’t even want to acknowledge the fact that his niece was with someone as crazy as Noya

But again, if you and Ukai didn’t bring it up then that’s just the way it is

You and Noya were always pretty busy and since you barely saw each other during the day, you would sneak Noya into your room late at night just to makeout cuddle whatever

And just like any other day, you opened up your bedroom window as Noya carefully climbed in, being extra careful not to make any noise

Now you two hadn’t spent quality time with each other in sooooo long and again, two hormonal teenagers that are touch starved is bound to happen. This is basically a long-winded way to say that it was obvious you two would makeout

No matter how heated the makeout sessions would get, that’s all they would ever be because you two both wanted to wait before taking it to the next level 

99% of the time Noya would take off his shirt and today was no different. Your hands were tugging at his hair as his body hovered over yours as your lips moved against each other

Even in the dark, he always told you how pretty you were cause he’s a goob and you would just smile and get back to kissing him 

Noya inhaled deeply because this is what pure bliss felt like and he couldn’t be happier being so close to you

“ Hey Y/N, tomorrow I need-” Ukai barged right in and turned the lights on as his eyes landed straight on a shirtless Noya on top of you 

“ WHAT THE HELL-”

You screamed as Noya rolled off of you and was frantically trying to find his shirt while avoiding eye contact with Ukai

Through all of the panic, Ukai looked down and saw the shirt on the floor. He just picked it up and threw it at Noya’s head,” Get dressed, and both of you see me downstairs.” 

Noya gulped because he knew he was going to get his ass beat and even when Ukai left your room, Noya turned to you with sad eyes

“ If I don’t make it back alive, I want you to know how much I love you. Tell Tanaka I’m sorry.”

“ Yu, I think you’re being dramatic…”

The whole time you and Noya were panicking, Ukai was losing his mind because he knew what he had to talk about with you and he reallyyyyyy wasn’t ready for it 

Once you two made it downstairs, you both sat down on opposite sides of the couch 

Ukai might’ve looked pissed on the outside, and he was, but he was just so uncomfortable. He didn’t know if it was really his place to bring the birds and the bees but as the adult in the room, it was now his responsibility. 

“ You guys realize I have to give you the talk now right?”

“ Uncle Ukai please-”

“ You brought this upon yourself.”

[mannatea]

gilbert... no, gustave.... 👀

patricia is hte death knight? mmmmaybe? hmmmmm

love that fleche the spy is still just hanging around

loved killing my old pals my old chums

annette went up and crit the shit out of edelgard though so that was cool

dimitri u got le stabbed because u are le dumb

oh cool

“they all died and left me behind” yeah and this man will too. it’s cause ur mediocre

“fuck off boi nobody died for you” lol

i’m like -_- about rodrigue because honestly like...kiiinda assumed he’d kick the bucket since he wasn’t fully recruitable to my knowledge and uhhh dimitri had to slow down his feral slobbering or i was gonna have to put him down myself, so. love it when characters die to calm down other characters that’s super fun. almost as fun as when they die to motivate them. /sarcasm

look at that, the man took a nap

his almost complete switch of personality is unsettling af

anyway everyone all “but what about rhea” i mean i get it but like...it’s been five years. what’s another couple months at this rate lol

oh hey felix called dimitri by name whoa wild

felix doesn’t seem that torn up about his dad’s death

i guess he

lol

died like a true knight

fINALLY sylvain is like, “i don’t know if i can forget the stuff dimitri did tho” cause like jfc was nobody gonna say that?? 

even felix is like surprisingly nice, though kinda pissed at the idea of people knowing that he feels that his dad woulda been glad to die if he could see how much it helped dimitri. bet that stings a bit, eh lad?

oh god so many supports...

catherine x dimitri C = “look at that young maiden wielding a giant lance! how adorable!” “i was thrown off by your haircut!” please tell me it was a bowl cut. but seriously that was a nice lil support

dedue x dimitri B = hhhhh goddamn this is the good stuff this is the delicious lord/vassal shit we love to see

ashe x dimitri B = it’s okay, good to see ashe’s heart being acknowledged as pure, especially by dimitri

mercedes x dimitri B = “teach me to sew!” lol ok i’d think this was cute but it’s mostly like...kinda eh to me. he’ll be a king he won’t need to know how to mend anything. i feel like this is just fluff without much thought in it, even if it’s pretty wholesome.

ingrid x dimitri B = “glenn truly loved you” damn boi right out the gate. also yikes at the shit ingrid is saying... i bet she’d have loved chatting it up with her former future father-in-law because they both really out there like “he died a true knight” i mean whatever brings you peace but JEEZ... stay away from felix. at least dimitri also thinks it’s fucked up LOL. but then ingrid immediately contradicts what rodrigue said when he died which is “glenn gave his life for you” HAHAHA geez. this conversation is mega cringe. finally though, ingrid is the one who is kinda messed up. honey ur living in a fantasy land even though you scolded ashe already that legends aren’t reality. :U

flayn x dimitri C = “there were a few suspiciously crunchy bits here and there” god it’s true then...dimitri doesn’t give a shit what he eats he has NO bar for food quality. son...do you not have tastebuds. this was cute tho. feels REAL fuckin weird after the timeskip tho.

dimitri x sylvain B = DIMITRI HIDING IN SYLVAIN’S ROOM LOL. okay sure. “it’s a what” “does she have a dagger, dimitri” “nobody’s ever accused you of being funny” goddamn sylvain i didn’t give you permission to bully dimitri but i guess it’s fair.

speaking of daggers are we gonna loot that from edelgard’s corpse later? that’d be fucked up

annette x dimitri B = okay but i want to hear the stories about how they were as littles

dimitri x gilbert c = was okay, not really that exciting if i’m being honest.

dimitri x felix B = that was weird, but thanks for the free sword lmfaoooo. i feel like this is at least going somewhere

annette x gilbert C = gOD okay they’re just gonna come right out and tell us gilbert has been pretending all this time he didn’t know her like WTF that’s so upsetting. “yet i am no father” cool now shut up and accept grace. “APOLOGIZE TO MOTHER” yeah seriously. gilbert, you’re an idiot.

god the sheer amount of supports is just overwhelming. and like. frustrating. just the tIME it takes to get through them. LOL

[trashcanfills]

Because someone needs to provide some gamer shimada bros content and Im here to deliver.

Apologies if formatting is weird cus Im usually on mobile.

Ok we all unanimously agree that Genji is def a weeb and a gamer, since he does frequent arcades in his youth and gotten high scores on them.

But what about HANZO?

Some ppl might go like eh he’s terrible cus he has absolutely no experience or lack experience in gaming since he’s the oldest son and hEIR of the Shimada Family and is too busy to even indulge in any sort of “fun”. WHICH. Is a good and valid headcanon considering the kind of person he is.

I previously made a post abt reading this unfinished fic on secret gamer hanzo and honestly before reading that fic I would prob agree with this grp of ppl. But now Im aware that secret gamer hanzo is a thing and holy shit Im digging it.

Like ok it’s completely ridiculous to even have hanzo to NOT have some fun while he was young right? (Unless your parents are completely cold and seeing u as a tool which I hope and pray that the bros parents are not but lets not get into that) So I can visualise the shimada bros bonding over games while they were young and enjoying their childhood. They would be competitive af and also play like a number of multiplayer games, with genji being a lil shit dallying around whenever they co-op and hanzo just going can we PLEASE complete the damn objectives cus thats so them lol.

Kinda makes me wonder abt the kind of gamers they are. Thanks to that fic, it gave me the idea of hanzo being a speedrunner and thats. So. Good??????? That idea???? Like cmon hes a perfectionist and I can see him playing a game repeatedly just to get used to it and start timing himself on how fast he can beat it. Completing games 100% i feel would be more of genjis thing, since he seems the kind to prefer exploring and wandering every nook and cranny looking for interesting shit. Hanzo wont really care much for exploration, just winning in the quickest time possible, tho thats just me opinion.

I can see this fitting in the storyline, where genji and hanzo discover gaming and both bond over that shit. Genji would love to play all kinds of games of genres. Not sure what he would lean towards though i would presume fast paced action kind of games for the thrill and excitement (since he does play arcade and does extremely well). Genji plays games to have fun and a good time, def acts like a lil shit in multiplayer games like trolling in chat or trashtalking. He likely has tried almost every game at least once, no matter how obscure or ridiculous it is. Pretty good at party games too, from his time socialising (both sfw and nsfw kinds). After spending time with zen i can see him also taking a liking to the more relaxing chill games like animal crossing.

Meanwhile hanzo is a picky ass motherfucker with most of the games he plays. He def does play the classics/mainstream games, but hes in it to feel a sense of accomplishment (and superiority). It has to be good quality games with clear objectives to fulfil thats for sure or like games that are useful in exercising his intellect. More into rpgs, puzzles, strategies. Prefers single player cus people are annoying at times (and hold him back oof). Competitive af. Likely not as a natural gamer like genji, but makes it up for his insane hard work and dedication to improve his skills. I like to think that he and genji saw some a vid of sb speedrunning a game they are both into a lot and he got hooked. Is part of the speedrunning community for sure and keeps up to date with all the latest speedrunning strats.

Oh boi and imagine dva the resident gamer finding out abt the shimada bros. She will get genji to play with her at times and its a blast. Hanzo not as much cus hes an emotionally constipated fuck who doesnt know how to socialise, but hoo boi when hana makes him play a game he was experienced in and he gets into it, shes def gon drag genji and hanzo into her daily gaming streams, but mostly hanzo cus he needs more social interaction. I dunno. I mean I can see hana and hanzo bonding tgt very well. And also cus I want to see hana’s wtf face when hanzo pulls all the insane speedrunning strats, and also hana encouraging hanzo to actually work on getting some world record speedruns. That would be cool.

Yea imma sum up those thoughts up for now but like essentially gamer hanzo? Fuck yea

[silver-wield]

Morning yall! Time for your daily dose of delusion destruction! This time we're focusing on second best bros, Cloud and Barret! (because Barret and Red is brotp, I don't make the rules I just follow them lol)

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be middling.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Sorry for the no cut, I'm on my phone, so I'll have to add it later.

This line. Eugh. I've seen so much damn romantic coding thrown at it I'm sick to my back teeth how people ignore literally every other relationship Cloud has with people.

This is not about Aerith.

This is about Barret.

Remember? This is what happened like five minutes prior to this line. Cloud literally lost his friend. Another one. And right after he saw a simulation of that same friend dead after being forced to watch the girl he loves get killed. Again. Because he thought Tifa died in Nibelheim and that grief is still in him.

In the last couple of weeks, to Cloud, he's lost his mom, his home, Tifa and Zack. In the last day he's lost Jessie, Biggs, his new home and now Barret.

This is his goddamn expression at the time. He's frozen in place, breathing hard. He is trying so fucking hard not to cry. He's been in a very bad place emotionally through this whole bit in the Shinra building. He cried when the grunts reminded him about Zack dying. He was so terrified of Hojo he hid behind Barret and didn't say a single word until it wasn't even possible to carry out that bravado filled threat.

Cloud doesn't want to lose his friends. Every one of them is precious to him. He cherishes them all, or did we think that AC line was more dumb ship talk?

The second Barret gasps, Cloud slid to a stop. He looks back and we don't get to see his expression here or in the rest of the cut scene. It focuses on Tifa's relief, then gameplay resumes. Because I'd bet good money Cloud looks far too emotional that Barret's OK, and we're not supposed to see this much of real Cloud behind the mask.

So back to the point this makes the whole damn thing about Barret.

Cloud stops Barret from going after Rufus and comes up with a very logical reason why. The same thing he's been reminding Barret of whenever he got too over enthusiastic about busting Shinra heads. Several times Cloud says, "Stay on mission/remember our goal". It's not "oh we must save the damsel", it's mission time.

Cloud appeals to the leader in Barret. You know, the one where he literally leads a cell of Avalanche, makes sure all his people get home? That's what Cloud is referencing. It's Barret's desire to do the job and make sure everyone goes home.

Aerith is the job.

Now, if yall actually pay attention to Cloud's face like I do then you'd have noticed his eyes look suspiciously shiny during this bit. He can't quite hide that he was as broken up by Barret dying as the others were.

He knows Barret's an all guns blazing kind of guy. I mean Cloud literally jokes about "Why did we bring you along?" before they go into the building because Barret's suggestion is a full frontal assault. Then if you take the stairs you get him saying he'd choose a last stand over this.

Cloud is protecting Barret by making him leave. Because he doesn't want to lose his friend again.

And Barret understands this immediately because he looks cut up behind those sunglasses. It's a "you care about me, you lil jackass?" look and accompanies his putting his hand to the back of his head, which is a masculine gesture to convey embarrassment.

Guys (mostly) touch the back of the head or neck when they feel embarrassed or vulnerable because it's an instinct from hunter/gatherer days when they had to watch out for predators going for the back of the neck. In modern times it's become masculine body language to show emotional vulnerability.

In conclusion

This whole bit has very little to do with Aerith. She's an excuse Cloud used to save Barret. His friend. The one who just came back from the dead.

Hollow, ykno, that thing yall also think is romantically coded, speaks of if Cloud had a second chance what he'd do differently. It's not just about girls. It's about everyone he loves. Cloud loves so many people and can't bear losing them.

Ofc he'd do everything to keep them safe.

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 7

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 6 🟣 Part 8

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Mentions of blood, biting, vampire stuff, suicidal thoughts, pain, period stuff.

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: Things are happening!

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69 @teamfan7asy @mis-lil-red @ellethespaceunicorn @sillyrabbit81

The boys had you on edge this week, and their only crime was being ridiculously considerate of the fact you were in intense pain, and also bleeding.

“You can tell,” you growled at Mike, who didn’t deserve your attitude at all, because he was literally just bringing you a cup of tea. He’d been so nice to you all day – all week, in fact – and all you’d been doing was snap at him, give him hell and frown. Then again, you were in pain, and bleeding.

“Eh… Yeah, I can. We all can. Why do you think August is about a million percent less of a dick?” Apart from the fact that he had promised you he’d try his best to not be a cunt, August was really laying it on thick this week with the niceties… Mike put the tea on your nightstand and crawled over you so he could cuddle up behind you. It was nice to feel his body against yours, especially when he wrapped his arms around you and put pressure on your stomach.

“That’s embarrassing…” You sighed. Why, in God’s name, would it be embarrassing? You’d never been embarrassed about your period before. Not since moving out of your parents’ house, anyway?

“Why?” Mike nuzzled your neck and pulled you even closer. It felt good to be close to him, especially since he somehow managed to hold you in just the right spot that made the pain somewhat manageable.

“I don’t know, it just is? The whole house knows I’m on my period, because blood plus vampires or something, I guess.”

“Do details help?” Mike asked. You answered that you had no idea whether it would help, but it probably wouldn’t make things worse.

“Alright,” Mikey laughed, “we can smell the blood, for starters, no need to freak out about that. We can tell when you cut your finger or have a nosebleed, or whatever. It’s the same thing. It’s not weird, and I know you’re about to have a breakdown because you think it somehow smells bad; it doesn’t.”

“How did you know that?” You found it unlikely that it had something to do with his gift in some way, but you didn’t rule it out.

“This isn’t the first time I have this conversation,” Mike said, “friends, ex-girlfriends, they all ask the same thing, and all react the same way.” That was a far more human explanation than you had expected to get, honestly.

“Anything else?”

“August feels everything you feel, so he can tell you’re in pain, and he knows you’re… Moody, emotional, hormonal, whatever word won’t get me whacked in the head with a pill- ow! Why?” He took the pillow from you and tossed it across the room.

“I don’t know. I know I’m emotional, but that doesn’t mean you have to point it out?”

“That’s silly. It’s not like it’s unreasonable or anything? The amount of times I catch you thinking ‘I want to die’ during your period is pretty insane. I’d be emotional too if I was in that much pain, babe.” Unconsciously, you snuggled closer to him and pushed his hands more firmly against your aching stomach.

“It really hurts, and I want to cry,” you said in a sad voice. Mike thought about your words for a second and then shifted behind you.

“Here, drink.” He handed you your tea. “August, got a minute?” He said that as if August was in the room with you, and as far as your eyes could tell, he wasn’t.

“Is that the volume it takes for him to be able to hear you?” But… That meant everyone in the goddamn house had heard you fuck. Fantastic.

“I keep telling you there’s no reason to keep quie- OW! Would you stop hitting me over the head with whatever? Thanks.” Mike said. You noticed his hand was on yours, steadying the cup of hot tea you’d still been holding when you decided to smack him in the head. If it weren’t for him, you’d probably have burned yourself… Mike continued, clearly – and rightfully – agitated by your unnecessary attempt at assault: “They don’t listen, trust me.”

“You yelled?” The door opened and August appeared in the doorway with a grin on his face.

“Funny,” Mike said, “stop being a dick. Can you help her?” Help you? How on earth would he be able to help you?

“It’s physical pain and I’m starving, so unfortunately I can’t.”

“Explanation, boys,” you groaned as another wave of hellfire ripped through your stomach.

“Mike told you I can feel what you feel, which is true in both a physical and emotional sense, but what he didn’t tell you is that I can influence it, too.” August said carefully. It didn’t seem like he felt guilty about hiding his gift from you, and you didn’t doubt that he had far fewer objections to using it to his full advantage than Marshall or Mike did.

“He could torture you just by looking at you,” Mike said with a giant grin on his face.

“So can you, with a face like that,” Marshall said in passing as he was on his way to his own room.

“Right, so if this jerk ever does anything to hurt you, don’t hesitate to come knocking,” August sneered. It was kind of sweet of him to say that. “And he was right, we don’t listen. We have better things to do than listen to than listen to our roommates having sex.” You decided to ignore the obvious heat rushing to your cheeks and the smirk on August’s face and focus instead on the parameters of his gift.

“But you’re also a walking painkiller?” You shifted positions so you were sitting on the edge of your bed, and immediately regretted the decision when a sharp pain ripped through your insides – yet, again. One of Mike’s legs appeared next to your right leg, while the other was left behind somewhere on the bed. You sighed when Mike wrapped his arms around you again and applied pressure to just the right spots.

“I know your generalizations are typically on point, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me that. Plus, as I said before,” August sat down next to you on your bed and put a hand on your thigh, just above your knee, “I don’t think I can… Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry, princess. Is it always this bad?” He looked as if he was being tortured.

“When we’re out of painkillers, yeah,” you groaned. Somehow, you’d missed the fact that you were due for another round of whatever sick fucking joke Mother Nature had planned for you this month, and you’d found out this morning that there wasn’t even so much as a single goddamn Tylenol in the whole house.

“No chance in hell, Walker,” Mike suddenly snarled. It must have been something he sensed in August – there really wasn’t any other explanation for his outburst.

“Mike, she’s in pain, and you won’t even give her the choice. So it’s either a supermarket run for you, or you let me at least suggest this.”

“Suggest what, August?” The pain was only getting worse and at this point you almost wished the boys would fuck off so you could suffer in peace.

“He wants to feed on you,” Mike growled. That discussion, again. It annoyed you that they were still on about that even after you had clearly told them it wasn’t happening.

“What I want, Mike, is for you to shut up for a second, so I can actually explain myself.” August didn’t sound amused in the least, and not inclined at all to let Mike fill in what he wanted or was suggesting, or anything. “The suggestion is indeed to let me feed, so I can take away the pain. And I’d like to remind Mikey, that just the feeling you get from one of us feeding on you, may actually be enough to relax you, and take away some of the pain.” That sounded more like August genuinely wanting to help you rather than the semi-doom scenario Mike sketched where he just wanted to use you as a snack.

“She can try that with me, then, I-“ Blame it on the hormones, but something inside you snapped when Mike made that decision for you. Your insides were screaming for pain relief, while your brain was actually quite desperate to volunteer as a vampire-smoothie, and they were ferociously battling the ‘don’t want to upset Mike’-part of you, and within inches of beating it to a pulp, if you had to be completely honest.

“Mike! You’re my boyfriend, not my keeper. If I try with you and it doesn’t help, I got nothing. And you’re not hungry.” Which meant Mike would just be using you as a snack. He didn’t need to feed, August did.

“Fine.” Mike begrudgingly agreed to what August said, but from the look in August’s eyes, he was never going to risk that, for fear of getting his eyes gouged out.

“You’re not fine,” August said, “you’re being a-“

“August!” Sherlock suddenly appeared in the doorway. “The four of us need to talk.”

“Don’t think it’s going to make me any friendlier. I’m starving and she’s in so much pain I can’t even shake it off.” Fuck, you were actually hurting him? Tears welled up in your eyes, and soon they were trickling down your cheeks. Goddamn hormones. They were already making you suicidal, was this breakdown right in front of your roommates really necessary?

“What? Sweetcheeks, no, don’t cry,” Mike wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. The fact that they were being so nice about all of this didn’t make it better at all. If anything, it made it so much worse, because now you felt like a burden to them, too…

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m just in a lot of pain, and now I’m hurting August, too, and I don’t want to do that.”

“Not just me, princess,” August grumbled, and he gestured at Mikey and made a vague gesture in the direction of Marshall’s room. To everyone’s surprise, Sherlock smacked him in the head for that one.

“Oh, no, not all of you!” You were full-on ugly crying now, but you didn’t care anymore.

“August, could you be any more of a dick?” Mike said, followed up by a sarcastic laugh. He held you even closer, softly stroking your hair in an attempt to calm you down a bit.

“I can’t believe you two,” Sherlock said, his eyes shooting daggers at both Mike and August, before he turned to you. His face turned friendly instantly, and he got on one knee in front of you and looked into your eyes. “Why don’t you go take a nap? You look exhausted.” As he said it, you first wondered how the hell he thought you’d ever be able to sleep, and then you felt your eyelids grow heavy.

You didn’t know how long you’d been out, but when you woke up, Mike was curled up next to you, and August was sitting at your desk, which was odd. Instead of asking August directly, you turned to Mike for an explanation.

“It has been brought to my attention that I’ve been a selfish dick, and I’m sorry,” he admitted groggily, “August’s plan is sound, painkillers are unlikely to work at this point, anyway, and I don’t want you to suffer. So if you want to give it a go, I’m on board with that.” It was definitely a sincere apology, you were sure of that, but mostly you were very grateful that he wasn’t going to resist August’s idea any longer.

“I already know what you want,” Mike added, “don’t bother trying to lie to protect my feelings, okay?” There was a certain upside to having a boyfriend who always knew exactly what you wanted, and this wasn’t it. You turned around.

“You hungry?” you said to August with a smile, and he replied with a simple nod. It hit you that you had no idea how to proceed, so you just stuck out an arm.

“Were you comfortable way back when, when Sherlock was feeding?” he asked. It was a few weeks ago now, but you remembered quite well. In fact, it was secretly one of your favorite memories…

“Yeah, perfectly. You wanna go about it the same way?” August answered you with a short nod, and sat on the ground near your head. You scooched a little further to the edge of the bed, with Mike right behind you – literally. He didn’t let go of you.

“Are you staying?”

“Listen, I’m comfy. I’m not giving this up because he wants a drink,” he said. Something about his voice made you wonder what had been said in that conversation that made him so completely okay with this now.

“It’s not weird, or anything,” August said, “feeding – for us – isn’t typically so intimate that we hide while doing it. It’s mostly the comfort of the people we feed on that we tend to keep it more private.” It hadn’t been weird to you when they were all in the room when it had been Sherlock…

“August, I appreciate all the vampire-lessons, but I still feel like I’m dying,” you groaned as a particularly heinous wave of agony ripped through your body. August was careful when taking your hand in his.

“One thing,” you said suddenly, almost pulling your arm away from August again as you spoke. “How…” You couldn’t quite articulate your question, so you just pointed at your mouth and hoped he’d understand. Apparently, he did, because he turned his head towards you and smiled, baring his teeth. Within two seconds, his canines extended into fangs.

“Does that answer the question?” he asked. There was impatience to his voice; he really was hungry.

“It does,” you answered. Behind you, Mikey chuckled.

“God, the first few weeks after Marshall turned me, I bit my tongue so often,” he said. August chuckled, and you felt the warmth of his breath on your skin. He shot another questioning glance at you over his shoulder, and when you nodded, he turned back. You winced when he bit you, but then nestled comfortably into Mike’s body. August had been right: the feeling you got from this did actually relax you, and it helped you ignore the pain a little. After a few minutes, you noticed two things. One: August wasn’t feeding as fast as he had been at the beginning. Two: the pain slowly disappeared, and with it, the extreme tension in your body.

“It’s working, isn’t it?” Mike asked from behind you, and you nodded.

“Yeah, I think so,” you said, surprise very clear in your voice. It wasn’t that you hadn’t expected it to work, but rather that you hadn’t dared to imagine that ‘work’ meant you’d really no longer be in agony. You asked August if this was his doing, and he hummed an affirmative answer – it was the only thing he could do, obviously.

“Oh my God, August, thank you,” you moaned as the levels of pain finally descended into manageable territory.

“Do you want me to ask?” Mike suddenly said, and August hummed again.

“Ask what?”

“He wants to know if you’re okay with it if he keeps at it for a bit, so he can push his next appointment back a full month.” You were inclined to say yes, but somehow you were reminded of what they’d told you before.

“If you’re on board, Mike,” you said hesitantly, “why not let him feed again in two weeks?” Mike seemed to think about that for a second, before agreeing. You could tell he still wasn’t on board with a permanent arrangement, but he was okay with this as a one-time thing. A few more minutes passed until you felt August’s mouth leave your arm. His tongue lightly touched the wounds he’d created. From the last time, you knew they typically didn’t bleed – at least not for long.

“Thank you,” August said. This time around, you recognized the look in his eyes. “Thank you.” He repeated the words a few more times, until you finally told him to stop. Mike just laughed, which didn’t seem to annoy August as much as you reckoned it normally would have.

“Can I get you anything?” he said. Hearing him be this friendly was weird in its own right, but the fact that he sounded almost submissive was something else entirely. You tried not to laugh, but there was something funny about it.

“Water,” Mike answered for you, and the moment he said it, you realized he was right; you were incredibly thirsty.

“That would be great, actually,” you said, and before you’d even finished your sentence, August was back, holding a glass.

“I’m not one for waiting around for little errands,” August said. It was very in character for him. “So, would it be alright if I make dinner? For everyone, of course, if the rest is interested.”

“Oh, eh, yeah? Sounds good.” you said. It was a little awkward to say yes, because you knew he was offering because he had to, but it was a sweet offer.

“It’s really funny to me that what you really want is to decline everyone’s help,” Mike said after August had left the room – and presumably the house, because you knew for a fact you were very low on groceries.

“Yeah, well,” you sighed, “it’s not like he’s actually offering, right? He’s just compelled to by the whole chemistry of things. Which reminds me, Sherlock, can you get in here?”

Within seconds – if it even deserved the plural – Sherlock was in your doorway.

“What’s the matter?” he asked politely, as always. You’d expected to feel a little weird having a new roommate – or an old roommate who moved back in after months of absence, if you were being accurate – but it didn’t just feel very natural to have him around, it was also very nice.

“What did you do to me to get me to fall asleep?” You sat up on the edge of your bed.

“Hey!” Mikey whined as he shimmied closer to you and wrapped his arms around you again. It made you chuckle; he was so goddamn cute.

“Ah,” Sherlock said, and his expression turned apologetic, “you noticed.”

“I don’t agree to snooping around in my brain of any kind, Sherlock. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal, darling,” he said as he sat down in the desk chair. “I imagine you still want to know what it is I did?”

“If you don’t mind,” you said with a warped smile on your face.

“Hypnosis,” he said, and you had to put in some serious work to keep your mouth from falling open. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, and I have no excuse.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Most humans aren’t aware something is happening to them – which makes it different from human hypnosis, which works, but only with a willing subject – and I…”

“No, please, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say for yourself, Sherlock.”

“Sweetcheeks, a quick reminder: punching a vampire is going to hurt you much more than it will hurt him.” Fucking Mike and his talent to read your desires or whatever. Yes, you did want to punch Sherlock. Was that weird? You’d just been told you had been hypnotized against your will. And without your knowledge. Were you allowed to be a little pissed off about that? Great!

“There were no untoward intentions, I assure you,” Sherlock said. It looked like he knew just fine that that didn’t make it much better. “I merely wanted to speak to the others…”

“Without me hearing?” you interrupted. To your surprise, Sherlock shook his head.

“Without them suffering your pain and suicidal thoughts,” he said. Wait. Those weren’t the selfish reasons you’d expected. Those weren’t selfish reasons at all.

“It’s nothing compared to what you go through,” Mike said before he pressed a kiss on your hip, which was the only place he could reach from the position he was in. “But it sucks.” You dropped a hand to your side, and stroked his curls, which made him hum softly, and his lips curled into a smile.

“Please don’t do that again,” you told Sherlock, “not without asking me first.”

“I will keep that in mind, and I really am sorry,” he replied. “Did you sleep well, at least?”

“I did,” you said. You hadn’t slept that well in years, if you were being perfectly honest. Sherlock got up from the chair and gently caressed your cheek. It felt strangely comforting, which wasn’t something you’d expected.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “It won’t happened again.”

As soon as Sherlock closed the door behind him, Mike pulled you back into his arms.

“What’s going on, Mikey?” you said as you turned around to face him.

“I’m a little jealous now,” he admitted, “everyone gets a bite of my girlfriend but me. Not fair.” You were fairly sure you should be getting upset that he was acting this way, but you couldn’t help but chuckle instead.

“You did get a bite, Mikey,” you said, reminding him of your little kinky adventure.

“Not the same, baby.” He was sulking, and it would have been annoying on anyone else, but on him it just looked cute.

“Mike, listen. Either I’m food or I’m not food, I won’t be both.” He seemed to understand, but it didn’t make him happy. “You just want to have it your way, you want me to yourself. And I understand, but it’s not fair, and probably a very bad idea, to create that kind of tension. So I’m saying no to all of you, unless you’re prepared to do this the right way, where everyone gets what they need.”

“You want to negotiate an arrangement.” It wasn’t a question; he could feel it clear as day.

“Yes.” There was no point in lying to him, you figured, even if it hurt his feelings a little bit. They’d be hurt more if you did lie, because he’d know you’d be lying. Either way, this was probably the right time to tell him that you really did want to…

“Will you give me some time to adjust to this? I mean… It sounds ridiculous, because you’re the one who only just found out that you were living with vampires. But you’re adjusting to everything so well, and I can feel that you want to… Fuck, Sweetcheeks, I hate that I feel this way, that I get this jealous… You want it, you need it, but I can’t get over my own fucking ego because I’m scared you’re going to leave me for one of them. Or all of them.”

“All of them?!” That was new… Definitely not any kind of conclusion you would have arrived at by yourself.

“Yeah,” Mike just shrugged. To you, the idea was absolutely ridiculous. There was no way you would leave him for any of the guys, let alone all of them. And you were pretty sure the others wouldn’t be on board with that, either.

“I love you, Mikey.” That was all there was to say about it, right?

[bobbystompy]

My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids” 

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* -  though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion 

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end). 

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

[archived-gtronpa-account]

Hey @impytricky I saw a post of yours (I'll try to link it here when I find it again) about how annoyed you were to see Gonta 'fans' talking about how Kokichi should've died in chap 4 ! I agree with that and I just wanted to say, first, I'm glad I never stumbled across something like this, second,,, aah

Now, I love Kokichi and Gonta as much as the next person, and not the 'pure cinnamon roll Gonta' but the boy who's intellect is severely underestimated, who constantly gets babied for absolutely no reason and feels extremely inferior to his peers as a result. I like Kokichi and Gonta's relationship, how you can often find them spending their free time together (which I don't remember seeing in a previous game? I'm not sure) and how Kokichi (despite popular belief for some reason?) Was the one to treat him best in how he understood how smart Gonta really was and trusted him- like how he took his word about seeing tiny bugs and didn't brush it off as 'Gonta idiot' like the rest of the class. Grumble grumble.

Aaa but I'm not gonna go on a tangent for this since I know ur blog and I think we're on the same line regarding those two!

I just wanted to share an idea I had like, right as I was watching Gonta's execution for the first time, an execution for Kokichi in chapter 4!

Like, Kaito voted for Kokichi in the trial. But imagine if maybe Maki had joined him- like how she always sides with Kaito in scrum debate after he learns her real talent (I think? I'm not sure about this info) or if Tsumugi had voted for him to spice things up. And if for some reason, Kokichi had kept no rational sense at the end of that trial and was just completely crushed under the weight of his emotions and decided to vote for himself since he couldn't bring himself to vote for Gonta, even if too many people voted for him and he became the blackened right at that moment he really wouldn't care anymore and at least their plan would have worked and he wouldn't've had to live with his sin.

Anyway, that makes 3 votes for Kokichi, and the player's vote! So yeah I think it's abundantly clear now that I'm going for an alternate route where you -the player- vote for Kokichi and both he and Gonta are blackened. I've seen takes on this scenario and so far haven't found the gem among the stones- especially now that I'm imagining those Gonta 'fans' posts wanting to kill Ko out of spite, yikes. I just wanted to share my thoughts with a fan who's got taste wink wonk ;]

So: Monokuma stays unclear about the two blackeneds tho and just drags Gonta gets taken to his execution, except that unlike the normal version this time there's a those lock things on the metal chains and Kokichi jumps in to try to lockpick those and free Gonta.

Haha I've already got the scenario somewhere written I'm feeling a lil lazy lemme just copy paste it.

So imagine: Gonta is taken to be punished. He's attached to the pole and Monokuma walks in and the execution song starts. But then Kokichi runs in in front of Gonta and alter ego and fumbles with the chains to try and free him, Gonta panics and urges him to go back and not die and he's not the murderer and Gonta can't die knowing he couldn't even protect his classmate one last time only because of those chains. Such despair! Kokichi doesn't listen and desperately tries to get rid of the chains and pick the many locks one by one. Monokuma starts shooting the bugs at them and Gonta is still struggling to try to get Kokichi to move out of the way and Kokichi is growing nauseous from the bug stings and his face gets blue then purple in Danganronpa fashion and Monophanie's stomach grows bigger and bigger and just then Kokichi finds a last lock hidden between the chains he lockpicks it with shaky hands- but Monophanie's stomach bursts open and the lock clicks and right as it falls in Kokichi's hands the giant bug bursts out of Monophanie. Gonta pushes the chains off his arms and legs, falls to the ground, limbs finally free, and jumps in front of Kokichi with his back to the bug to protect him, but right as he's about to push him out of the way of danger the giant bug strikes them both, its his claw digs in their abdomens and they both fall to the ground. After a beat the wooden pole creaks and falls on their on top of their bodies with a heavy thump. Monokuma looks with disgust at the bodies still twitching a little and the nasty bug on top and he throws a match on the pole and everything catches on fire. The fire crackles and the music fades out and the image cuts to alter ego Gonta at their feet looking sad before his screen glitches and goes black and a dark grey puff of smoke comes out of it.

(Dramatic much, I know, but I'm a sucker for despair and tragedy.)

After that you get a shocked text from Shuichi who doesn't understand why Kokichi did that and something like how till the very end he confused them all with his lies (nothing much too grand and emotional, your typical killing game shuichi after chap 4 talking here). After that you get a weird disturbing ending like that of dr1, with a last CG of all the students aged up smiling at a camera, Maki and Shuichi holding up Kaito's portrait since he died of his disease, and with that awful music to disturb you further at the weird image and to really rub it in that you fucked up by being spiteful and voting Kokichi, bad choice you silly player.

I just kinda think it's a cool response to those who could hate Kokichi and get petty and vote for him- only to have a bad ending as a result and a surprise regarding Kokichi's character. I also thought of it as more of a Kokichi's execution, kinda like how it would have Kokichi elements: lockpicking, his leadership quality and how he puts his people before himself and is pretty selfless, also willingly putting himself in front of Gonta so he doesn't get bug stings- which is cool with Kokichi disliking bugs. And just how by being a petty hater you give Kokichi a somewhat peaceful death where he doesn't live with his sins, but you the player get a bad end instead as a result. On Gonta's side, I just like the despair of him ultimately dying unable to protect his friend.

All in all, I just thought it'd be a cool take on chap 4, especially with how… tasteless Gonta's execution feels to me. I also kinda just like this as a Kokichi execution that exploits some of his aspects well enough without being overly dramatic- like the many popular fan excutions I've seen that have him on lie detector forced to tell the truth about his intentions and how he cares about his friends and yadda yadda simp stuff- like, you should be able to see a Dr character's execution and not be able to tell if this character is important or not based on that alone; executions don't discriminate between the popular and the lame, so I think this is a fitting enough execution for Kokichi that works for his character, isn't too lame but isn't too grandiose. This has it's flaws for sure, like how that ending doesn't fit the fictional world reveal of chap 6 and some minor details, but ah, eh, uhm, you know.

I'm a sucker for discussions I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! Since you too have a respectable good view of Gonta and I think I saw a post about you thinking of a Kokichi execution? Aaa you know whatever I'm getting awkward now—–-

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 257: New Year’s Party and All Might Feels

Previously on BnHA: The kids ate some yummy cotton candy and got to demolish a bunch of robots in flashy and expensive ways, because U.A. is every child’s dream school and All Might is getting closer to finally achieving his goal of being The Cool, Fun Teacher. There was also some cute Kirimina and Izuocha stuff, and also some panels of All Might watching Deku with a wistful dad smile which was both heartwarming and also makes me slightly terrified for his chances of surviving to the end of this series, but what else is new. Anyway so after class we cut to Aizawa and Mic who were all “we’re still sad fyi” until the Big Three interrupted them to get Aizawa to come help with Eri’s quirk. Meanwhile, All Might sat down with Deku and Kacchan and gave Deku a notebook all about THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE SIXQUIRKS. And we’d better be covering that pronto in this chapter because holy shit I had to wait two weeks after that cliffhanger and that was not fucking fair.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan and Deku read about the one quirk user WE ALREADY FUCKING KNEW ABOUT before they get bored and decide that WE DON’T NEED TO HEAR ANY MORE ABOUT ANY OF THOSE OTHER LAME QUIRKS APPARENTLY. In an effort to console me, All Might reveals that Shimura Nana’s quirk was THE POWER OF FUCKING FLYING YEAH BITCHES, which does admittedly warm my heart. Also Deku and Kacchan have an entire page of going back and forth at each other like the squabbling siblings they are and that helps too. Also we then cut to all of the 1-A kids having a New Year’s party, and yeah, Horikoshi admittedly knows how to play me like a goddamn fiddle I guess. The chapter then takes a sudden swerve for the nostalgic, with Deku and pals reminiscing about how much they’ve grown and how lucky they are, before we cut to All Might who’s sitting on a bench having Winter Night Angst until he’s comforted by Aizawa of all people, because this chapter is actually fucking great. And then we cut to THREE FUCKING MONTHS LATER LMAOOOO [blows noisemaker] SHIGARACALYPSE 2020 COMING ATCHA KIDS. WOOP WOOP.

okay so I have been persuaded to try out the fan scanlation this week! for several reasons: (1) the new scanlators have had a few weeks now to improve their game and I’m curious to see what the quality is like, (2) there are already spoilers all over my dashboard lol and I’m tired of trying to dodge them, and finally (3) I have nothing else to do this afternoon and I wanna read it. SO IMMA READ IT. BRING ON THE SIXQUIRKS OF DEKU THE NINTH

-- GOD DAMMIT ALL MIGHT

I assume that those are the two shadowy ones, then? Bakushadow and PonytailShadow? goddammit. meanwhile even if we didn’t have that whole mystery, the second user would still be the one I’m most curious about, because (s)he was the first one to actually get OFA handed down to them, and to say that I’m curious about how exactly that went down would be putting it mildly. like how the hell did Lil Bro figure out that he could pass his fucking quirk down to people. and what exactly was the trial and error process involved, if any. was he just like. “dude, come here, I want to try something okay? this is gonna sound really fucking weird but hear me out... I want you to eat my hair” 

sob, honestly a time-traveling Bakugou who already knows how The Whole Deal Works might honestly be the least bizarre explanation. I have so many questions ughh

btw I do also want to call attention to the fact that this chapter is titled “make it your own”, a.k.a. the mantra that Kacchan has been trying to get Deku to adopt since the provisional license exam. so this I do like. that is very promising

hmmMMMMMMMM

motherfuckin time travel is starting to sound more and more likely you guys. oh my god. but how?? someone’s quirk?? or maybe they can just get Mei to build them a machine. fuck it, she’s already upgraded Deku’s costume ten thousand times with random crap, what’s one more. you read it here first, Deku’s next upgrade will be gloves that carry him back and forth in time

lmao Katsuki

on the one hand that is very rude, but on the other hand I too would like him to get to talking about the ones whose quirks he actually did learn about. so yeah. [taps watch] we gonna do this All Might, or

lmao Deku’s asking about Blackwhip and meanwhile Katsuki’s just PICKING UP THE NOTEBOOK, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING, YOINK

(ETA: Kacchan with a normal face is such a rare Charizard of a panel that I just have to stop for a moment to appreciate it. take a good look everyone, we probably won’t get this again for another 50 chapters.)

fucking thank you Kacchan. holy shit. I mean All Might worked hard on it, might as well make use of it. and never mind the explicit “FOR YOUNG MIDORIYA” plastered on the cover I guess lol

also!! BALDY FINALLY GOT HIMSELF A NAME OMGGGGG. “LARIAT.” we’ll see how Caleb translates that tomorrow, I guess. I have no idea what it means but I’m excited!!! yay naaaames

OH THAT’S JUST HIS ALIAS HE’S GOT A REAL NAME TOO OH SNAP

(ETA: also there’s the expected “go” since he’s #5. so that’s apparently still a thing, meaning the mystery behind nos. 2 and 3 is still as perplexing as ever. maybe a bit of a stretch, but does anyone suppose that the “己” at the end of Katsuki’s given name could be interpreted as kind of looking like the Arabic numeral for two? eh? eh??)

seems to be causing a whole lot of collateral damage, but hey, price you pay for being a badass

oh my god my sons are bickering

(ETA: but lmao though at Katsuki being all “YOU THINK EVERY FUCKING QUIRK IS AMAZING” because sob it’s true.)

Katsuki please. first of all WHY WOULD YOU ONLY GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THE ONE FUCKING QUIRK WE ALREADY KNEW, and two, I kinda need at least one of those quirks to be at least a little bit badass, because fucking shit you guys, uhhhh. [gestures frantically to the last page of chapter 255]  nyghhnghh. and also!! [gestures to the last two pages of chapter 245] ...

hmm so All Might says that Kacchan is right, and that it makes sense that most of the quirks would be weak ones because AFO made it his business to stomp out any strong quirk users on account of the whole “he’s fucking evil” thing and all of that world domination biz

look how evil

oh wow

goddamn that’s one hell of an image. all these fallen heroes desperately trying to make sure that their power, the world’s only hope, doesn’t die out with them

so then from the way All Might makes it sound, it seems like some of the successors maybe weren’t carefully selected at all, but instead they were just the ones who happened to be in the right (wrong??) place at the right time. maybe some of them were fellow soldiers in the war against AFO, and when their comrades fell they were there to pick up the gauntlet. that actually makes a hell of a lot of sense

and also the way they seem to be passing on the quirk appears to be the blood-on-blood method rather than the hair-eating method, so that also potentially addresses my snarky rambling earlier in this very recap lol. Lil Bro may not have meant to pass it on at all; he might have just been gripping some spiky-haired passerby’s hand while mortally wounded, and knowing that his time was up, and hoping against hope that this MYSTERIOUS KACCHAN-LOOKING STRANGER would somehow be able to take up the fight and continue what he started. and then lo and behold

-- motherFUCKER HE REALLY JUST PUT IT BACK DOWN ON THE TABLE LIKE

SO, I GUESS WE JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE OTHER QUIRKS THEN! WELL FINE. let’s just never talk about anything I’m dying to know about again ever!!

“seems they’ve all died young” WELL ISN’T THAT JUST FINE AND FUCKING DANDY. what a wonderful legacy All Might has bequeathed unto our sprightly green protagonist. what a barrel of laughs this has turned out to be

sob my son literally doesn’t know how to take his foot off the gas

but I guess it’s not necessarily a bad thing to have someone there who only relentlessly knows how to go forward, forward, forward

SDFLKSHDOGIHSOGISHLGKSDLFJ

EXCUSE ME, MCFUCKING WHAT DID YOU SAY?! SO YOU’RE TELLING ME MY BEST GIRL COULD FUCKING FLY, IS THAT IT?? AM I READING THIS RIGHT?? WAIT -- HOW DO YOU BREATHE, AGAIN?? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, I

LOL WHAT THE FUCK

(ETA: I left the edges of his speech bubble in while cropping this so everyone can appreciate just how spiky it is.)

me too kid!! you were playing quirk bingo, right? it was only a matter of time before someone came along with flying powers and we all knew it. I’ve been saying it and saying it, Deku was born to touch the sky

lulz he’s screaming at Deku that he can already fly with his explosions, so now while Deku works on mastering his own flying quirk, Katsuki will pull ahead of him SO THAT MAKES HIM THE WINNER I GUESS. lol honestly this speech is one of the nerdiest things he’s ever done and I almost wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d ended it with “OWNED!!!” watch him look around for a mic to drop

oh my god

this isn’t even rival energy, this is sibling energy. like, this one panel is some of the rawest fucking sibling energy I’ve ever seen. the relentless shittalking, the competition over absolutely nothing, the ridiculous faces... just, wow

anyway so I have a ton of thoughts about Katsuki’s current feelings toward Deku ever since the Endeavor and Natsuo “you don’t have to forgive me” thing, but the short version is that I think Katsuki lately has actually been really worried about upsetting the status quo with Deku, and, well... “losing” Deku, so to speak. I think during the internship he finally clued in to the fact that he actually had been a real certified jerkweiner to Deku, but more importantly he woke up to the realization that he doesn’t know for sure if Deku actually has forgiven him. like, he’s been going around thinking that it’s in the past, that it doesn’t matter, and then along come the Todorokis with all their drama, and he sees that and he realizes oh shit, sometimes people secretly have tons of resentment that’s just burning away at them underneath and shit!

and so the thought is kind of eating at him now that Deku might not have actually forgiven him, and he’s actually really scared of that, and so he’s reacting in two different ways: one, by being irrationally annoyed/angry with Deku for having that power over him (the power to either forgive him or not), even though that’s his own fault; and two, by trying in his own way to aggressively push things toward being the way they were back when they were little kids before their whole falling out. which, in his mind, means them being rivals. like, in the second character book, there’s a section that’s all about the characters’ relationships with each other, and in for Deku it says he views his and Kacchan’s relationship as “childhood friends”, but from Katsuki’s perspective, their relationship is listed as “childhood rivals.” so yeah

anyway so I guess I lied about this being “the short version” (I’m gonna have to essay about this more in a separate post I think), but basically I think that in Katsuki’s mind this kind of juvenile making-faces-and-egging-each-other-on thing is how he interprets their friendship, and he’s very awkwardly trying to get back to that

anyway! I got hella sidetracked there so let’s get back to the plot shall we. there’s a sweet panel of All Might smiling at the two of them because I think he also sees that this scene is somehow heartwarming in its own bizarre way lol

and then WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE DORMS YESSSSSS

(ETA: stray thought -- it’s an absolute fucking delight to see all of the male characters cooking for once while the girls, as far as I can see, are just sitting around chilling in the living area. like I’m sure they are helping as well, but you have no idea how fucking refreshing it is to not have the girl characters be all “WE’LL COOK FOR YOU BOYS SINCE YOU’RE SO HOPELESS AND/OR YOU’RE WORKING SO HARD TEEHEE.” holy shit. it’s great.)

to answer your question, Sero, they’ve been having secret powwows with All Might and discussing things like how Kacchan is objectively better than Deku it’s science, and how to make Deku fly. what have you all been doing

OH I SEE YOU ARE HAVING DINNER

is that Tokoyami running like a Hanna-Barbera character in the background. every time I think I have a handle on his character Horikoshi has a new twist ready to keep me on my toes. also lol at Kirishima remembering how Kacchan did jackall to help during the Christmas party, and making sure he does his part this time IF HE WANTS TO EAT

(ETA: lol so after rereading this that’s clearly Deku in the background. I still think it looks more like Tokoyami though! but obviously the two of them are the only ones still in their uniforms, so.)

OH BOY OH BOY NOW THIS CHAPTER IS CRACKIN’

TODOROKI SHOUTO!! YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UNTO YOUR FAMILY! lmao he’s so quick to answer “IT WAS ME I DID IT” with his two fucking exclamation points too lol. I don’t know why that’s so amusing to me but it is and I love it

meanwhile Horikoshi got a little too playful when drawing that Momochako page there huh. drew the back of her head but was then like “BUT THEN YOU CAN’T SEE HER ADORABLE SMILE” but he couldn’t be assed to redraw it so he improvised. IT’S CALLED ART

ahhhhhhh class B is joining them yesssss!! and Kodai’s bringing a couch oh my god such an excellent and practical application of her Ant-Man quirk to make sure everyone has someplace to sit these children are so cooperative and wise

YAY WHOLESOME NEW YEAR’S PARTY ANTICS

KATSUKI HAS UPGRADED FROM SANTA GRUMP TO SITTING NICELY WITH HIS SQUAD!! SHOUJI IS WEARING ANOTHER OF HIS LEGENDARY PONCHOS!! TSUYU JUST SAVED MINA’S LIFE!! KOUDA BROUGHT HIS BUNNY BECAUSE BUNNY DESERVES TO PARTY TOO!! AND AOYAMA IS PROBABLY WEARING A ROBE, BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT’S A DRESS AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!! NEW YEAR NEW HIM YES CHEERS

oh my god they’re starting to reminisce, no my emotions were not ready for this please chill out kids

look at them talking like they’re all grown up now

you do realize you all are still just babies right. “it was a crazy ride... back then we were so young...” is that Joe Cocker’s version of With a Little Help from My Friends I hear playing in the background. why has the film quality gone all grainy. what is this what’s happening

THANK YOU IIDA

as expected from the resident 40-year-old. please tell these children to get a grip. they’re out here talking about which Roth IRAs they’re going to get and how much their lower backs hurt

also, this scanlation hasn’t been too bad so far, but I feel like knowing it’s “Iida” and not “Lida” is like the bare minimum of translating a chapter of BnHA. like at least get the names right. but anyway I cropped that part of the panel out regardless because Mineta’s face was ruining the atmosphere so it’s all good

oh no. oh shit wait. what’s going on here

do not tell me this is one of those “calm before the storm/AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME EVERYONE WAS ALL TOGETHER AND HAPPY EVER AGAIN” things. please no. please tell me I’m overreacting and grossly misinterpreting the general vibe here. fuck

also though, you see that bit in the Kacchan panel though lol. so yeah their relationship is just like that. it’s weird but they like it

jesus christ now Deku is sitting there saying “I’m very fortunate” with this face like he’s just DARING fate to come on over and punch him in the balls. DEKU!!

no!!!! [swipes at the air in an attempt to ward off the oncoming plot] go away! shoo!

and interestingly, Tokoyami is watching him!

do you want in on this plot too buddy. is that it. well your mentor has gotten himself all wound up in this spider’s web by this point, so why not. if we’re gonna have angst I guess the more the merrier

LMAO NEVER MIND, THE VERY NEXT PANEL HE’S ASKING DEKU TO PASS THE FUCKING PONZU AGAIN. DEKU COULD YOU FUCKING SNAP TO IT ALREADY HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES DOES HE HAVE TO ASK

NOW ALL MIGHT IS SITTING ALONE ON A BENCH OUTSIDE THE TEACHER’S DORMS AND AIZAWA IS THERE SUDDENLY

is he going to talk to him about Eri. or the whole Noumu thing. ahhhhhhh

someone please tell All Might he needs to stop acting like he’s about to die. holy shit. this is reaching unacceptable levels. the fond smile while watching Deku’s progress. another fond smile while seeing him and Bakugou going back and forth, perhaps feeling reassured that someone else will be there to look out for Deku once he’s gone. giving Deku a notebook with everything he knows about OFA. and now SITTING ON A BENCH ALONE IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER WITH HIS HANDS FOLDED IN HIS LAP JUST THINKING THOUGHTS!! AND AIZAWA’S ALL “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE’S ALL “NOTHING... JUST...” HOLY FUCKING SHIT ALL MIGHT COULD YOU PLEASE NOT

but anyways so what’s this you say about training Eri now

fffFFFFFS HE’S DOING IT AGAIN

he doesn’t know if he’ll be here come springtime, that’s what’s up. the clock is ticking on Nighteye’s prophecy, and even though he swore he’d live and punch fate in the mouth, you never know though and shit but this is depressing. anyway if my guess is right he may be about to share the secret of OFA with Aizawa though, because that’s what I’d do if I thought I was possibly gonna die and my student might need someone to continue mentoring him once I was gone. so, you know, still a bummer but also YES ALL MIGHT DO ITTTTT

oh nope nevermind he’s just rambling and Aizawa doesn’t have a clue wtf he’s on about

fffff this is some prime grade A All Might angst right here, the gods have blessed us after so long oh snap oh dang

so then maybe he doesn’t think he’s dying lol. well whatever. I think it’s probably a little of column A, a little of column B, that sort of thing but hey

yo you guys, Aizawa bonding with All Might is just. [chef’s kiss] it’s been so long. I don’t think we’ve had a long scene between them since the parent teacher meetings oh my god. Aizawa definitely respects him so much more now and it’s great

totally off subject btw, but the third light novel has a chapter where the teachers all meet up at a local bar and get trashed and talk about all kinds of crap, and Aizawa drunkenly tells All Might he respects the hell out of him, and it’s an absolute delight and everyone should read it. here’s the link to the Viz edition. it’s easily the best of the light novels (though I haven’t read the fourth one which is coming out in March), and an enjoyable read from start to finish. anyways thus ends my unsponsored plug, now back to our regularly scheduled programming

yep. safe to say the days when he thought All Might was an attention-loving media whore are long gone. fuck I love this

oh my god oh my fucking god

wow. just. ...shit. this is a message that I think everyone should hear, first of all, and this is easily one of the most gorgeous and profound panels this manga has ever had. like holy shit I almost cried

and second of all, tell me something, how is Aizawa the most comforting, gentle, supportive, encouraging man in the universe, and how did we get so lucky, and can you believe this man wasn’t even planning to become a teacher holy shit. we can’t afford to lose him, ever

OH FUCK ALL MIGHT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU START CRYING HERE --

let me tell you I did not need that flashback panel of Nighteye TODAY OF ALL DAYS, HOLY SHIT. THE HELL KIND OF TIMING IS THAT. HE KNEW WHAT EPISODE WAS AIRING THIS WEEKEND, HE DOES SKETCHES FOR THEM EVERY WEEK, THIS WAS FULLY INTENTIONAL AND I FEEL AGGRIEVED

my god All Might is pinching the corners of his eyes and apologizing I can’t. STOP OFFLOADING ALL OF THESE ALL MIGHT FEELS ON ME. even now, after everything he’s given, he still feels like it’s not enough. it’s in his nature to feel restless, to want to do more. he’s earned the right to rest -- earned it more than anyone in the world -- but he can’t, and he feels guilty and helpless because the burden he shouldered for so long has been passed on to everyone else now, and he knows how heavy it is, and he was so willing to carry it even if it destroyed him, but he can’t anymore! and then to have someone come along and say “it’s okay, you’ve done enough, you’re doing enough, you are enough,” just. shit shit shit shit shit. I can hear Horikoshi’s truck beeping as it backs up to dump YET MORE FEELS all over my goddamn house. there are feels being tossed out of an airplane door overhead with little parachutes. fucking paperboys are riding by on their bicycles and whipping them at my face screaming “EXTRA! EXTRA!” fucking...

-- HOLY SHIT!?!?

well my jaw just dropped. um. [peeks at calendar] do you mean to tell me that we’re just CUTTING STRAIGHT TO THE PARTY NOW, JUST LIKE THAT

WELL FUCK, LMAO. BEEN NICE KNOWING Y’ALL

sDFLKSHGLKH

Horikoshi: [poking his head in the door] hey what’s up guys just thought I’d toss in this panel of Ujiko here to remind you all that Spring is when --

everyone: JESUS CHRIST WE KNOW

-- WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK LOL, WHAT

well I guess it’s nice to know that those feelings of impending doom were apparently RIGHT ON THE MONEY sob. NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST THE END OF ALL HEROES!! JUST UJIKO ROAMING THE HALLS OF HIS LOCAL HOSPITAL BEING ALL “HO HO” BECAUSE HE’S FINISHED HIS WINTER PROJECT OF TURNING TOMURA INTO ONE OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN AND HE’S FEELING REALLY FUCKING GREAT ABOUT LIFE. JUST THE MANGA JUMPING AHEAD THREE FUCKING MONTHS JUST LIKE THAT, AND DROPPING US BACK IN BARELY A WEEK BEFORE THE START OF THE KIDS’ SECOND YEAR, A.K.A. “YEAR OF THE SHINSOU”, A.K.A. “YEAR THAT KACCHAN FINALLY REVEALS HIS HERO NAME BECAUSE HOLY SHIT SON YOU REALLY FUCKING SAT ON THAT FOR THREE MORE FUCKING MONTHS!?”, A.K.A. “THE YEAR ALL MIGHT BETTER NOT FUCKING DIE”, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, A.K.A. “[GESTURES FRANTICALLY TO CHAPTER 245 AGAIN]”

lol. here I was hoping we had at least a little more time before the whole “we’re fucked” thing kicked in, but I guess the apocalypse waits for no one. gentlemen it has been a privilege playing with you tonight

[vinatintasupernovita]

Helen and Clytemnestra for the character ask? your version in the Runaway AU or the Greek mythology versions either is good

Ah the “got fucked over by the men in their lives” sisters let’s see (Helen is Runaway AU and Greek Myth for Clytemnestra):

Helen:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (This is me being bias)

best quality: Her kindness

worst quality: Her overly trusting nature did get her kidnapped before but like that’s not really her fault

ship them with: The love of her life, her most darling wife Scarlet

brotp them with: I think if things had gone differently Menelaus and her could’ve been friends. Especially considering she was with War! Theyd have so much to talk about over lunch.

needs to stay away from: Men who come to your palace saying they want to marry you and do not take no for an answer (AHEM AHEM THESEUS AND PARIS.)

misc. thoughts: I simply think that when you’re the most beautiful woman in greece you should be allowed to do whatever you want whenever you want and that includes running away with your lesbian lover who may or may not have a pension for starting fights literally everywhere.

Clytemnestra:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: Her axe and being the inventor of the revenge plot

worst quality: She was a kinda mean to Elektra so :/

ship them with: Happiness, Therapy

brotp them with: The Furies, simply on the basis theyd have a great time discussing punishing the shitty men in her life

needs to stay away from: Cassandra bc she DID kill her too along with Agamemnon and frankly that was a lil uncalled for.

misc. thoughts: while I was picking a new name for myself I deadass almost named myself Clytemnestra off the bases that the nickname Clyt would be really fuckin funny

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Playing Games (baon)

Summary: In the aftermath of Internal Disputes, Sans wasn't alone, not when his own thoughts could be haunting him.This wasn't how things were supposed to work, none of it, and there was nothing he would do but wait.

Tags:  Kustard, Spicyhoney, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, Major Character Injury, Hospitals, References to Collaring

Notes:  Now, I want you to know that I say this with the greatest sincerity possible, but all you people that got me shipping kustard? I hate you all.

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

The hospital chairs weren’t bad when it came to comfort, especially if you ran a little shorter in the pants than average. Not that it would’ve mattered much if they weren’t, Sans was well-trained in how to get to sleep in any and all places, knew exactly how to curl up in a folding chair for maximum comfort, no matter how hot or cold the climate got around him.

Tonight, he was only too tired to sleep. That didn’t matter either, he’d been worse off plenty of times before. Only thing that mattered was that Paps was the one sleeping, and that was enough of a topsy-turvy to make Sans want to check they hadn’t missed an exit and were still in the right universe.

Probably were; from what Stretch said, when you first took a sideways step into another world, you could feel the wrongness of it in your bones. His bones felt shaky and sore, a fine litter of bruises all along his side where he’d hit the asphalt, but none of them were sending out Morse code squawking that the sky was falling, so they were all right there. Chicken Little would have to wait for another day, though maybe he’d check in with Stretch’s little flock, see how their bones were feeling--

Sans ran a weary hand down his face, smelling the lingering smoky char. Fuck, he was tired.

In the hospital bed surrounded by machines and IV’s, Papyrus was lying perfectly still, and it was so fucking wrong to see. Even when he was sleeping Paps usually twisted and turned like he was training for the next Olympics. That little quirk cost Sans plenty of his own sleep when they were kids, nights huddled together for warmth beneath a threadbare blanket and all the while his baby bones bro tried to sleepwalk a watusi up his spine.

Sometimes Sans missed that little kid.

The fancy suit Papyrus always wore when he was playing ambassador was gone, replaced by a hospital issue gown that would give a peepshow of his pelvis when he stood. His old clothes were past the dry cleaning stage, scorched all the way up his spine and yeah, that sight was gonna haunt Sans’s dreams a coupla times in the near future, as was the bitter taste of his own soul in his throat when he crawled over to him, all the dazed moans and screams around them as he clung to his brother, frantically checking him over.

Yeah, let’s close that scene and set the memory box aside for those upcoming dreams to rifle through. No need to re-live the nightmare during the daytime, too.

Sans shifted in the chair, pulling his bare, bony feet up onto the cushion. He hadn’t changed his own clothes yet; about all he’d managed was kicking off his shoes, his filthy socks draped over them like the peels of the world’s most disgusting fruit. His travel outfit was a lil’ different than his bros, a hoodie and shorts were about as fancy as he cared to get, maybe a pair of sunglasses if he was feeling particularly feisty about it.

That getup was fine for someone on security team, something Papyrus very much was not, and Sans was planning to have a nice, long chat about that with him whenever his brother finally woke up.

He was gonna wake up and Sans was gonna be here waiting when he did, thanks.

As if magnetically drawn, a compass endlessly searching for north, Sans’s eye lights slid back to the bed towards his sleeping brother. His skull was still abnormally pale against the pillowcase, a revealing sign of magic drain despite the IV steadily dripping at his bedside. So very pale, except for the fine line of a fresh crack running down the side of his skull. Barely visible, really, someone who didn’t know any better might mistake it for a cranial suture.

Sans knew better.

It’d been a lot worse before Tori started in on it, crawling over to them through the rubble on the tarmac, ignoring shouts to stay down and her normally pristine white fur had been filthy, hands already caked with crimson marrow even as she reached out to Papyrus. The ugly wound Sans could barely stand to look at vanished beneath a thick green glow and that little crack was all that was left, a souvenir of Papyrus’s first trip to California. His brother had slumped to the ground after, those thready, pained moans fading. He’d been unconscious ever since.

He was gonna be fine; both Tori and Blue told Sans’s that over and over on the plane ride home, gonna be just fine. He was out cold was all, used up his magic down to the last dregs generating enough of a shield to cover himself and two other people besides. Right now it was nothing but a waiting game, Sans moving his pawn across the board until he landed on the ‘good morning, sunshine’ spot.

Just fine, sure, and Sans believed them. But he really wished he could roll doubles right now and speed up the process.

Most of his thoughts were either being firmly suppressed or focused the still figure laying on the bed, but Sans did manage to spare one or two leftover balls from the ones he was mentally juggling to wondered tiredly how Stretch was holding up. He’d been eating shit sandwiches himself this weekend, and now honey boy was topping it off with big ol’ slice of disaster pie. At least Sans had the luxury of being with his bro from the get-go. Trying to picture how he’d feel knowing only the bare details of what’d happened sent a cold frisson through his soul. That was enough for him to offer sending Edge out in the first ambulance; at least he was with his brother, Edge and Blue were both stuck in limbo all the way home.

Besides, he’d gotten to see plenty of the show on the flight home in the moments when Edge wavered into brief wakefulness. No wonder he never wanted to smoke weed or even drink much. They’d doped him to the gills without mercy, and now Sans was gonna have to live with an eternity of regret that the loss of his phone meant he didn’t get a chance to record Edge massacring a heartfeltly sung rendition of ‘I Want It That Way’.

Since Tori and Blue were no fun at all and refused to do it either, seemed the best option was to send Edge out and hope Stretch got a front row seat to the second act.

That show had been a helluva lot better than the inflight movie Edge’d given them on the way out. Stoic and distant since the second he’d gotten on the plane, a fuckton more so than usual. Wasn’t until Blue snuck in a whisper to Sans what was up that he got it. Anniversary tomorrow, yeah, husband back home while he got stuck playing lead babysitter with Sans as backup ‘cause Red was off saving the world or catching an early bird sale, some bullshit, anyway.

(not thinking about red, better not to, better to not)

Stretch probably pitched a bitchfit about Edge tagging along without him and Sans hadn’t registered to vote in this election, but he was gonna go with Stretch as his candidate. There was no good reason he could think of to make Stretch stay home past paperwork and pissiness, and the fact that Blue thought his Papy staying home was the better choice told him all he needed to about that.

They’d been Aboveground for a few years now and Stretch was nowhere near as bad off as he’d been back when they’d first shown up on the doorstep back in Snowdin. He’d gone the good boy route, got himself a therapist and everything. He was happy, anyone could see that, and HP issues aside, it was ‘bout time to cut the apron strings let Stretch mess up his own cooking.

Edge was better about it than Blue, but looked like he was still trying to play sous chef ‘cause Stretch wasn’t on the plane. Their fearless leader had put up a good front, but any moron could see he was upset, and Sans wasn’t just any idiot on the street. Whatever his reasoning, Edge obviously wasn’t happy about leaving his honey behind.

Welp, Sans had a feeling Edge wasn’t super eager to add Stretch to the roster now. Not after spending some quality time laying on the crumbled tarmac waiting for a stretcher, banged up and bandaged the best they could manage on the fly while the Human side of the contingency ran around squawking out orders, getting everything on lockdown. Trying to keep everything on the down-low until they could get a proper press release in order, yeah, that was the right procedure.

Sans still didn’t have a single qualm about slipping Edge that phone so he could let Stretch know he was okay. ‘Course he’d probably scared him shitless the way he started rambling on like it was his deathbed confession hour instead of just saying ‘alive and kicking’, oops, but eh, couldn’t win ‘em all.

Sans wasn’t winning a lot of ‘em lately.

The stack of blankets were tucked around Papyrus with generous care, but Sans got up and went over to him, anyway, smoothing the imaginary wrinkles in covers. His hands were beneath the blanket, the better to keep them toasty warm. Probably for the best, it was bad enough having to look at his skull, that single ragged crack. If he had to keep looking at his bro’s bruised, battered knuckles, Sans might go nuts.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It was his duty to play big bro, his, he’d taken that on years ago while he was still in his own striped shirt, his very first job. He was the one in Security, he was the one who was supposed to fucking protect, and even if Sans thought maybe he’d fucked that up a time or two before, suspected that there was a memory he didn’t possess, a

(reset)

past that wasn’t theirs. But he’d been keeping up their end of the bargain since his bro decided to be an Ambassador and Paps wasn’t supposed to break it, he fucking wasn’t—

The door creaking made Sans jerk, heat rushing to his fingertips in a heady blurt of magic for an attack that stopped forming the moment he saw who it was. He took a long, slow breath, shaking away his exhausted agitation the best he could, cause he was going to need every wit that hadn’t been blown away in the explosion to deal with this.

Red was standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. The light pouring in behind him cast him in shadow except for the smoldering glow of his eye lights burning out from his sockets.

Sans only ignored his awful horror movie impression and wandered back to his chair, crawling up to settle on the cushion with a weary sigh.

"you done with skulking around trying not to talk to me?" Sans asked. He didn't mean to sound as pissy as he did, but did Red really think he wouldn't notice? On the plane, outside the ambulance, even here, Red'd been all over, watching but not getting close.

No answer came, no sardonic comeback, no angry snarl. Red stepped into the room and closed the door behind him with disturbing care. Probably only playing at kindness for Papyrus’s sake, but something about his expression was unnerving, the lines of his face laid out in a way that Sans didn’t know.

He came close to the chair without reaching, only stood there, hands visibly fisted in his pockets. Crimson eye lights resting on Sans, but more like Red was looking through, like Sans wasn’t even there and Red’s gaze was laser-focused on the wall behind him.

“came to tell you i’m taking off for a while,” Red said, every word filled with deliberate indifference, “dunno how long.”

Sans only nodded. “yeah. thought you might.”

“wanted to see if you’d keep an eye on that fucking cat of mine.” Again, nothing but cool detachment, Red speaking to the wall and expecting answers.

He made no mention of asking Edge and Sans didn’t either. “sure, why not, i could use a few more scrapes for my collection. maybe i can trip over him on the stairs, add a few broken bones to the tab.”

There, a veritable hit; Red winced visibly, the distance in his gaze wavering. It was almost fascinating, really, watching with his own detached interest as Red tried to force it back. Must be a sign of his own shaken control, all of it unraveling, snapping into its proper place as he actually looked at Sans.

Sans had a pretty good idea what Red was seeing. The force of the explosion had thrown them all to the ground in spite of any shields, leaving behind a nice collection of mottled bruises and bloody scrapes to share around. His own pain had been secondary, unnoticed until they’d been shoved back on the plane for a ride straight back home. He’d been sitting next to Paps when Tori came over, watching the metronome precision of the rise and fall of his rib cage like only the force of his will was keeping his brother breathing.

The cold wetness against his skull had stung and it was only then that he noticed his own hurts. He’d sat there and concentrated on keeping Papyrus breathing, let Tori gently clean him up the best that she could.

So he didn’t have any illusions about what kind of eye candy he was right now. Another note of interest that Red didn’t seem to be able to look away, the minute flicker of his eye lights moving as they traced over those bruises and scrapes.

“i need to go,” Red repeated, but that indifference was wavering, seeping away, leaving behind something that was almost pleading. Huh. How about that. “i gotta. this is my fault. i’ve gotta—"

“listen to the ego on you,” Sans snorted. “even you can't know everything.”

“no, you don't fucking get it.” Shattered desperation, like nothing Red ever showed. Seemed like those walls Red kept up weren’t quite as impervious as Sans always thought; words were spilling out of him, vomited out in pained rush. “i didn't have shit going on here. i didn't come along on this trip because i knew you'd go without me and i…i wanted you away. for a couple days. wanted some time to get my head on straight and i didn’t give a shit who i pissed off to get it, i—"

Yeah, Sans could believe that. Fucked over his own brother and Stretch, and why not? It was only to get out of a Security detail that would’ve left him sharing a hotel room with Sans, left them out in the open in front of everyone. Made them obvious in a way that somehow Red didn’t think they’d been before, fooling no one but himself, but it was a lie Red somehow needed.

Knowing that was a different sort of bruise, on his soul instead of his bones, and every word out of Red was giving it a rough press. It was satisfying in a strange way, to know Red was panicking over him, made him want to feel it again.

"all right,” Sans said calmly.

"no, it ain't all right!" Red snarled, his voice cracking, breaking, breathing too heavily. "if I hadn't've fucked off--"

"then you would've been there instead of edge and it would all have happened the same way." He felt oddly serene, floating in his own peculiar calm. "you're one person. even you can't be everywhere and know everything. ‘sides, if that’s your fault, this is mine.” He flung his hand out like an attack at the hospital room, towards his brother lying unconscious in front of him. “’m getting sloppy, should’ve reacted faster.”

Red twitched, stepping closer, grasping that line of thought with eager gratitude, “reacted to what? how did my brother know? toriel ain’t sure and neither was blue—"

“intent.” Sans shivered, remembering the prickle of it washing over him, virulent hate that came a bare second too late for him to react. The memory of it made him remember something else, a delirious question forgotten in the aftermath, “didn’t think edge could beat me when it came to sensing intent.”

Red waved that off. “he’s been practicing ever since andy got turned into a pincushion outside that chinese place. what else?”

Of course he was, Edge probably spent his lunch hour wandering the streets to see how much hate he could pick up, that was a filling meal. “it was coming from the driver. edge was a lot closer to the car, he must’ve felt it before i did. he yelled for everyone to get down but by then, paps already had me face first on the asphalt.” He shrugged, trying not to think too deeply of the wash of vicious heat, the sound of it, the screams, fuck, all the screams— “after that, it gets a little explody. i can still hear it a little, it’s like listening to a seashell lodged in my head. doc said it might take a day or two for the echo to fade out.”

“that it?” Red’s gaze bore into him.

“that’s all i’ve got,” Sans drawled sourly. He turned in the seat, lounging with deliberate casualness, his legs hanging over the arm. “that’s the shit, the whole shit, and nothing but the shit. so that happened and our bros got hurt, yeah, but they’re gonna be fine. so, now, you wanna take off and go headhunting? you go on ahead. play your little game, start following your clues. just remember after paps wakes up and i can see he’s okay? i’m coming to find you.”

Red had been nodding along and Sans could see the moment realization bled through, the indignant rasp as he snapped out, “the fuck you are!”

“the fuck i’m not,” Sans countered, tauntingly. He ran his tongue over his teeth, tasting his own sweat, the bitterness of smoky residue as he goaded, “how are you gonna stop me? ask edge to chase me down while he plays hop along cassidy on some crutches?” Fury was sparking in Red’s eye lights like a firecracker as Sans went on with fractured glee, “he’ll be a coupla weeks recovering, you know. even you harping on him to get up and play protector ain’t gonna change that. gonna tattle on me to asgore, gonna lock me up? tie me to your bed?” Sans tapped a finger against his cheek bone pensively, a mockery of thinking, “or maybe i won’t go after you at all. maybe i’ll see about playing a little on my own.”

Ah, that, that right there. Sans could feel the impotent fury rolling off of Red, about the only time he couldn’t get it up, hands flexing as if he wished there was something in them and for a distant moment, he thought Red might actually attack him and wouldn’t that make for an interesting problem to explain.

Then it was gone, all that anger and frustration swallowed into nothingness. Interesting how Red managed to break without so much as changing expression. Must be a gift.

“you win,” Red said abruptly.

“we playin’ something?” Sans asked lightly,

“only with our lives. ain’t like anything important.” There was a sharp prick of frustrated anger in that, wasn’t all gone, then, only banked. A point Red proved by stalking forward to take Sans’s chin in two sharp fingers, yanked it up. Crimson eye lights searched Sans’s face and he couldn’t begin to wonder what they hoped to find. “you even know what you’re getting into here?”

“i’ve been fucking you for over a year.”

“i ain’t talking about fucking.” Those searing eye lights pierced deeply into him, crawling over the depths of his soul. “do you know?”

Deliberately, Sans lifted his chin more, exposing the bones of his cervical vertebrae. Red’s gaze dropped, lingered over them with hypnotic weight, and his fingers followed, coiling around Sans’s throat like a metaphor.

“if you like it, then you shoulda put a collar on it,” Sans said, soft and singsong. “i’ve been fucking you for over a year, fucking around three times that, you think i don’t know? collar me, claim me. may as well, i ain’t going anywhere, anyways.”

Red shuddered, lurching forward another step and his fingers tightening convulsively, not quite painlessly. “collar you? like you’d be fucking obedient.”

“from what i saw of you wearing one, i always figured the obedience part was an optional add-on. besides, at least i’m housebroken.”

The thin fingers around his throat tightened again, so very close to choking and Sans only shivered, yearning into that grip even as Red whispered with low, virulent intensity, “should’ve known i couldn’t keep dodging you forever.”

Red leaned in, but not for a kiss. His mouth was suddenly hot on Sans’s collarbone, dragging over I, uncaring of the sweat and filth coating him. Sharp teeth nicked tantalizingly against bone and Sans couldn’t hold back a cry, edged with a near sob because he wasn’t supposed to get this, he wasn’t, wasn’t supposed to have this suddenly thrust into his lap like a gift. His magic gave stirring an unfortunate try, but he was thankfully too tired to demo how much his psyche was absolutely going for the sweet threat in that touch.

"i wanna to keep you," Red muttered, mostly to himself, something like desperation curling around every word. Sans answered anyway, mumbling mindlessly.

"okay. okay, yeah."

"wanna keep anyone else from touching you,” whispered against him, a promise, a threat, Sans didn’t know. Red’s tongue was winding around his clavicles, sharp fingertips tearing Sans’s t-shirt, exposing more. “wanna put my collar you, warn the whole world that you're mine."

"yeah," Sans breathed brokenly. His hands move of their own accord, not bothering to ask for permission as they clutch at Red’s shoulders, blunt fingertips digging into the leather of his coat with creaking force.

"That sounds very romantic and potentially disturbing, but may I ask if you could do that in your bedroom and not here in front of me?"

Sans came pretty fucking close to kicking Red to the floor as he jerked up to see his brother’s sockets open, blinking at them owlishly. It wasn’t even a thought to scramble down and go to him; reaching for Papyrus was as automatic as drawing a breath. His brother reached back and if his hands were shaking a little, if there was something tremulous and almost fragile in that touch, Sans didn’t care.

His brother was awake and reaching for him, pulling him up on the bed and into his arms.

“Hush, there’s no need to cry,” Papyrus scolded gently, but he held on to Sans with enough force to get his bruises singing out an Ava Maria. “I’m perfectly all right and even if I’m not, you are, so that’s fine.”

“that is so not fine, paps, it is completely the opposite of fine,” Sans wiped away embarrassing flood of tears, sniveling humiliatingly into his sleeve even as Papyrus flailed and tried to reach for the box of Kleenex on the bedside table. “me and red are the ones working in the security department, we—”

He turned back to the chair, trailing off when he found it empty.

Well, shit.

“know something, bro?” Sans sighed out, even as he settled into his brother’s arms. “that whole vanishing thing is fucking annoying when i’m not the one doing it.”

Papyrus smoothed a hand down his spine, more gentle than not, and if he had an inkling of what he just interrupted, he was kind enough not to ask. “Never fear, brother, you are always fucking annoying whether you’re trying or not.”

Probably true. Hearing his brother swear was always enough to give his soul a seizure, even if he knew Papyrus only did it to get a rise out of him. He needed to go find one of the docs, let him know Paps was awake and there were probably tests that needed to be run, x-rays maybe, who the fuck knew.

It could wait a minute. Right now, the only place his soul wanted to be was right here.

But later, he thought maybe he had some dice to roll. Some asshole in a stupid hat once said the game was afoot and now that he knew there was a chance?

Sans was playing to win.

-finis-