#pyotr is baby girl to ME

[gh0stn3lius]

Women ARE my favourite guy

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

💖 Hi, could you write something about Evie having a crush on some boy from school or some actor or singer and Andrei losing his mind because boys aren't allowed yet for his little girl?

girl dad drei is so fun and special to me 🩷

so he’s pretty chill in the sense that he’s never been the dad that’s like “oh she’s not dating until she’s 40” because he knows that’s a toxic mentality

she’s always loved boy bands and the teeny bop actors and you and andrei always thought it was cute, the way her room is decorated with posters and stuff like that

but when evie does go to her first real boy-girl party, he’s a little apprehensive

like “what do you mean there’s going to be boys there? i thought it was her best friend’s birthday?” and evie’s like 12 or 13 at this point and starting to cop that teenage attitude but in a cheerful way so she’s like “yeah, but a bunch of boys from the class were invited too and we’re going to hang out at the pool”

and evie acts like a normal pre-teen girl does with the early attempts at flirting and hand holding and it’s nothing serious at all

and then when she’s 13-14 she has her first “boyfriend” which is literally just some boy from school that she holds hands with regularly and goes to see movies with and does homework with. it’s literally all so wholesome and adorable but andrei starts panicking

“she’s my baby! how is she growing up so fast? a boyfriend?”

and you laugh at him, teasing, knowing that this is just puppy love and there’s nothing to be worried about “remember when she always said she was going to marry brady when she grew up? and how much she hated the girlfriend pyotr had when she was like 4 or 5 because he was her ‘boyfwend’?”

andrei scowls at you and mutters “i miss those days.”

“she’s growing up, drei,” you soothe, rubbing at his back, “it’s a fact of life. and one day when she really starts dating for real, we’ll be there to guide her”

“i hate that they’re growing up so fast,” he rests his forehead on your shoulder. “let’s have another one, start fresh.”

you bark a laugh, “absolutely the fuck not! maks is five, he’s finally a real person, i will not be starting over.”

“it was just a suggestion,” andrei grumbles, laughing

when all three girls really start seriously dating, he does do the intimidating former hockey player thing when he meets the boys, crossing his arms over his chest, making sure his biceps look huge, scowling and speaking in russian to you and the girls to make sure he seems more intimidating than he actually is

[orlissa]

Unsaid-Verse Masterpost

Because it’s been a while since I updated it. Because there might be new people around who would like to read it. Because my mind won’t cooperate with me today, so I’m trying to distract it.

So, the Unsaid-Verse: my little coming-back-to-fanfic, post-fete-surprise-baby story that by now has grown into a nearly 140K words long massive AU verse. Romance, fluff, humor, occassional angs galore.

The following list has the stories in chronological order, with early fall of 1879 being the date when Alina arrives at the Little Palace.

Socks Fall 1879 Rated: G Wordcount: 3086 After a chance meeting in the middle of the night in the hallway of the Little Palace, Aleksander invites Alina to the stables to oversee the birth of a foal with him.

Violent Delights February 1880 Rated: E Wordcount: 9767 Aleksander and Alina get intterupted a little later, so they have a nice, passionate lovemaking session before everything goes shit.

Terrible, Beautiful, Unsaid Things February-November 1880 Rated: T Wordcount: 11064 Alina still runs after the fete, and she is still caught, only, in this universe, she is pregnant. Spanning from her escape to the birth of their child, the story chronicles how she and Aleksander find their way back to each other

Thicker Than Water February-November 1880 Rated: M Wordcount: 3585 Alina’s suprise pregnancy brings up bitter memories in Genya, who is determined to help her through it–including giving her the freedom of choice.

Poker Face April-November 1880 Rated: M Wordcount: 11060 (WIP) Aleksander is fighting a war on several fronts: the actual war against Fjerda and Shu Han; to win back Alina’s affections; and to keep the Tsar in line. This last one might be the hardest. Or: Aleksander is showing considerable restraint in not unleashing The Cut on Pyotr Lantsov.

Secret Ingredient July 1880 Rated: G Wordcount: 2735 Alina is missing her mother’s cooking, which at least give Aleksander an opportunity to do a Grand Gesture.

A Person to Call Home Early November, 1880 Rated: T Wordcount: 3439 A few days before Nadya’s birth, Aleksander wakes from a nightmare and seeks out Alina just to reassure himself that she is alright.

The First Star in the Black Velvet Night November 6, 1880 Rated: T Wordcount: 8099 The day Nadya, their child is born, from Aleksander’s point of view.

A Little Star in the Night November 6, 1880 Rated: G Wordcount: 3156 Due to ALina’s weakened state after the labor, a wet nurse is summoned to the Little Palace

Sleepless November 7, 1880 Rated: G Wordcount: 1233 The day after the birth, Alina finds it hard to fall asleep without her daughter nearby

Tales from the Palace November 1880/1882/1887 Rated: T Wordcount: 3685 Collection of one-shots featuring characters peripheral to Alina and Aleksander’s story: a chambermaid, a dressmaker, and a governess.

To Cherish and to Hold October and December, 1880 Rated: E Wordcount: 14429 In Part I, with their relationship slowly blooming again, Alina decides it’s time for her to be intimate with Aleksander again. In Part II, they return to their marital bed after Nadya’s birth.

The Heartrender and the Baby February 1880 - May 1882 Rated: G Wordcount: 5771 Ivan is definitely not a baby person. Then a little Princess has him wrapped around her little finger

Life Unfolds in Chapters Summer of 1882 Rated: E Wordcount: 21463 (so far) The summer after Aleksander and Alina took the throne of Ravka, they go on a royal tour in West Ravka, while facing political and personal challanges

Sister, Sister September 1882 - December 1884 Rated: G Wordcount: 2297 Nadya is a happy little girl who loves her Mama and Papa very much. However, her life turns upside down when she learns that she is going to be a big sister.

The Sweetest Dreams I have of You October 1882 Rated: G Wordcount: 1355 Aleksander catches Alina, pregnant with their second child, taking an afternoon nap.

Infinite Fall 1882 Rated: T Wordcount: 1461 Preparing for the birth of their second child, Alina and Aleksander share their fears and insecurities with each other.

Solstice Eve December 1882 Rated: G Wordcount: 3621 Aleksander has a surprise for his girls for the holiday, starting a new tradition.

Modern Times November 1883 Rated: G Wordcount: 2423 When expresses reluctance towards one of David’s newest inventions, Aleksander is accused of being “set in his ways,” so he goes to desperate lenghts to prove that he can, in fact, handle change.

Private Meeting in the Tsar’s Study November 1884 Rated: E Wordcount: 2992 Aleksander and Alina work on expanding their family–in his office, in the middle of the day.

Witches! 1885 Rated: G Wordcount: 922 After a bad dream, little Nadya seeks her parents’ comfort

Grishenka April 1885 Rated: G Wordcount: 1300 Nadya summons for the first time, and Sasha is conflicted.

David and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Fall of 1885 Rated: G Wordcount: 2101 David is not good with children, that’s a fact. And yet he is tasked to look after Nadya–who is too clever and mischievous for her own good–for a couple of hours. Let’s just say it doesn’t go well.

Just a Tiny Prickle 1886 Rated: T Wordcount: 1819 Nadya wants to have her ears pierced. Her Papa is not thrilled about the idea.

Conquering the Foul Beast Summer of 1889 Rated: G Wordcount: 1920 Being the father of girls means sometimes playing the role of the “foul beast” and being hit on the head with cushions.

A Longing Deep and Profound December 1887 - February 1891 Rated: M Wordcount: 6074 After the birth of their fourth daughter, Aleksander thinks they should not have any more children. Alina is not that convinced.

In a Mirror, Brightly November 1896 Rated: G Wordcount: 1543 Nadya is about to turn sixteen. Aleksander does not handle it well.

[derelictheretic]

oc tag: song challenge!

Tagged by @hoesephseed @quentinbecks @thefathersbride and @adelaidedrubman !! Thank you guys <333

Tagging: @i-am-the-balancing-point @bl-beater @florbelles @strafethesesinners @jollybone @eur0paa-2 @shellibisshe @trashcatsnark @aceghosts

step 1 → create your oc (or ocs) in this picrew

step 2 → list 5 songs that inspired (or capture the feel of) your oc. if you chose multiple, feel free to pick your favorite or do songs for all of ‘em! (and feel free to list fewer or more songs if you want)

Putting under a read more bc it got long <3

Piper Vasquez

1. Creep by Radio Head

I want you to notice | When I'm not around | So fuckin' special | I wish I was special

2. Cherry Pie by Warrant

She's my cherry pie | Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise | Tastes so good, make a grown man cry

3. Highway to Hell by ACDC

No stop signs | Speed limit | Nobody's gonna slow me down

4. We Will Rock You by Queen

You got blood on your face, you big disgrace | Waving your banner all over the place

5. Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash

This indecision's bugging me | If you don't want me, set me free | Just who the fuck am I supposed to be | Don't even know which clothes'll fit me

Anya Cherkov

1. Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives

I am selfish I am broken I am cruel | I am all the things they might have said to you | Do you ever think of me and my two hands | And wonder why | They never soothed your fevers

2. Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

When we dance in my living room | To that silly '90s R&B | When we have a drink or three | Always ends in a hazy shower scene

3. Swan Lake by Pyotr llyich Tchaikovsky, André Previn, London Symphony Orchestra

4. Bite The Hand by Julien Baker

Who do you think you are? | Who do you think I am? | What do you wanna say? | What do you think will change | Maybe i'm afraid of you

5. For Elise by Betoven

Blair Marie Bell

1. Oh My God by Adele

I'm a fool, but they all think i'm blind | I'd rather be a fool than leave myself behind | I don't have to explain myself to you | I am a grown woman and I do what I want to do

2. I AM WOMAN by Emmy Meli

I am woman, I am fearless | I am sexy, I'm divine | I'm unbeatable, I'm creative | Honey, you can get in line

3. whore by King Kitty

I ain't got no problems that I think are worth adressing | You are just a pair of hands that I call to undress me | Undress me | Unzip my dress please | Impress me | On my mattress (king)

4. Candyman by Christina Aguilera

Well, by now i'm getting all bothered and hot | When he kissed my mouth, he really hit the spot | He got lips like sugar cane, oh | Good things come for boys who wait

5. You've Got a Friend in Me by Randy Newman (the Michael Bublé cover tho)

Some other folks might be | A little smarter than I am | Bigger and stronger too | Maybe | But none of them will ever love you | The way I do | It's me and you boy

Heather Lucille Valentine

1. I am not a woman, i'm a god by Halsey

I am not a woman, I'm a God | I am not a martyr, I'm a problem | I am not a legend, I'm a fruad | So keep your heart, 'cause I already got one

2. Primadonna Girl by MARINA

'Cause I'm a Primadonna girl, yeah | All I ever wanted was the world | I can't help that I need it all | The primadonna life, the rise and fall | You say that I'm kinda difficult | But it's always someone else's fault

3. cult leader by KiNG MALA

I might be the villain | In somebody else's story | But that's fine | My methods are controversial | But at least it keeps them all in line | In line | I don't need your roses, I like men on their knees | Praying up to their god, seeing visions of me

4. Power & Control by MARINA

I'm gonna make you fall | We give and take a little more | 'Cause all my life I've been controlled | You can't have peace without a war | Without a war, without a war

5. Fake Bitch by UPSAHL

Fake bitch, fake bitch | Running from her problems | But she makes it look so good when she ignores them | And she puts them on a shelf | And she whispers to herself | It's okay, bitch | Don't ever change, bitch |

[laufire]

what are your favorite bands or singers? in general and from your own country

*deep breath* okay then xD

To make this easier for myself: I limited to TEN bands/singers/composers (as a bonus), PLUS ten patriotic choices between all three lol. And as a bonus, my favourite 3 songs of each. Because.

SINGERS

Amy Winehouse. Tears Dry On Their Own + You Know I’m No Good + Rehab.

Aretha Franklin. Evil Gal Blues + I Say a Little Prayer + One Step Ahead.

Dessa. Dixon’s Girl + Matches to Paper Dolls + Seamstress.

Ella Fitzgerald. Hard Hearted Hannah + Blue Moon + Blue Skies.

Fiona Apple. Criminal + Relay + Hot Knife.

Janis Joplin. Piece of My Heart + Cry Baby + Ball and Chain.

Julie London. Cry Me a River + Fly Me To The Moon + Why Don’t You Do Right.

Kate Bush. Cloudbusting + James and the Cold Gun + Hammer Horror.

Nina Simone. Ain’t Got No (I Got Life) + I Put a Spell On You + Love Me Or Leave Me.

Peggy Seeger. Space Girl + Emily + Gonna Be An Engineer.

BANDS

Brown Eyed Girls. Kill Bill + Abracadabra + Sixth Sense.

Delta Rae. Bottom of the River + Fire + I Will Never Die.

Destiny’s Child. Independent Women, Pt. 1 + Survivor + Say My Name.

Fleetwood Mac. Sara + Rhiannon + The Chain.

Florence + the Machine. All This and Heaven Too + Howl + Delilah.

Hole. Doll Parts + Violet + Northern Star.

Måneskin. CORALINE + L’altra dimensione + Moriró da Re.

Queen. I Want it All + Innuendo + Bohemiam Rhapsody.

Siouxsie and the Banshees. Face to Face + Spellbound + Cities in Dust.

The Pretty Reckless. Nothing Left to Lose + Since You’re Gone + Zombie.

COMPOSERS

Antonio Vivaldi. Winter + Storm + Concerto Grosso Op. 3, No. 10 L’estro armonico.

Bear McCreary. Samson and Delilah + Black Sails’ Theme + Flint and Silver’s Theme.

Christopher Beck. Close Your Eyes (Angel & Buffy Love Theme) + Sacrifice + Remembering Jenny.

Clint Mansell. A New Swan Queen + A Room of her Own + A Swan is Born.

Ennio Morricone. What About Me + Requiescant + Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury.

Georges Bizet. Habanera + L’Arlesienne Suite No. 2 + Symphony No. 1 in C major.

Hans Zimmer + Junkie XL. The Red Capes Are Coming + Beautiful Lie + Is She With You.

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Swan Theme + Valse Sentimentale + Waltz of the Flowers.

Serguéi Serguéievich Prokófiev. Cinderella’s Waltz + Dance of the Knights + Battle On The Ice.

Shirley Walker. Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm Theme + Superman: TAS Main Title + Superman: Father’s Day.

SPANIARDS

Amaral. Hacia Lo Salvaje + Cómo Hablar + Cuando Suba La Marea.

Carmelita Aubert. Pobreza + Canto de Luna + Comunista.

Debajo del Paraguas. Rara + Novia a la Fuga + Suerte en tu Vuelo.

GINEBRAS. Cosas Moradas + Todas Mis Ex Tienen Novio + Paco y Carmela.

Joan Manuel Serrat. Balada de Otoño + Elegía a Ramón Sijé + Cantares.

Joaquín Sabina. Contigo + Por El Boulevard De Los Sueños Rotos + Besos de Judas.

Mägo de Oz. La Dama del Mar + Fiesta Pagana + La cantata del diablo.

Mecano. Mujer contra Mujer + Hijo de la Luna + No Es Serio Este Cementerio.

Monserrat Caballé. Ave Maria + O mio babbino caro + Casta Diva.

Nino Bravo. Libre + Cartas Amarillas + Mi Tierra.

[vanilla-vivillon]

do you have any lantsov family headcanons?

love you! <3

Okay okay okay I’m so excited for this!!! (Btw we’re going to be going with the Pyotr for the King to not get him confused with Darkles)

Pyotr wasn’t super involved in the toddlerhood of Vasily or Nikolai

But Tatiana was

Watching her sons grow up was the only thing she had left

Being married off to Pyotr when she was 19 was horrible

She hated him

Hated the way he touched her

Loathed the way he would tear off her corset

But when she had Vasily it felt like something finally made sense

She had something

Tatiana was no longer in a strange country with a despicable man all alone

She had a baby

Tatiana insisted Vasily sleep in the room next to hers and Pyotr

She would sing him Fjerdan lullabies

And feed him the best of the best foods

Vasily was Tatiana’s everything

Alrhough Tatiana loved Vasily

She didn’t want any other kids

She didn’t want the king anywhere near her

So when the king started taking a fancy to the staff

Tatiana thought

Better them then me

But then Magnus came along

Magnus Opjer was the Fjerdan Ambassdor

A handsome fellow

He was all broad shoulders blond hair and a cheeky grin

He made her laugh

Something Tatiana found she couldn’t do in her life often

On one evening with the King off to some dukes house to party

Tatiana invited Magnus over to drink the wine her brother sent her

One thing led to the other

And three weeks later a healer was telling her the aches she’d been feeling was because she was pregnant again

At first she wanted to terminate the pregnancy

If The King found out the baby wasn’t his he was going to kill her

But the more time went on the more the queen knew she wouldn’t be able to go through with it

Consequences be damned Tatiana was going to give birth

When she eventually told the public she was expecting no one suspected a thing

She picked out the name Nikolai for her second son

His Royal highness Prince Nikolai Lantsov, Duke of Udova, long May he live.

Kolya

Tatiana wrote to Magnus Opjer two weeks after Nikolai was born

The labor was quite dangerous and she only survived because of the grisha

My Dearest Magnus,

Nikolai was born on August fourth

He and i are alright. I know you would just adore him. He has that mischievous twinkle that you have. Oh how I long for you to be with me. If it wasn’t for this blasted country we could truly be together. Pyotr grows more and more bored every day. And him being bored meant he would want me to entertain him. I loath him Magnus, truly! How I ache for your touch. I’ve been hearing rumors your resigning. Tell me it isn’t true Magnus please! Nikolai deserves something better then the germ that Pyotr is.

Your darling, Tatiana

Magnus later confirmed it was true, that he was resigning

Logically Tatiana knew that this was to keep her and Kolya safe

But she still hated it

But the world didn’t care for the feelings of lost Fjerdan girls

“Nikolai you must stop your tomfoolery this instant!” Tatiana yelled at Her son

Now seven he seemed to be greater work then Vasily ever required

“But Mother it’s not tomfoolery, it’s science!” Nikolai smartly replied

“Nikolai there is a hole in the roof!”

“I just wanted to see if I can build a bomb. Turns out I can!”

Nikolai had been traumatizing the staff for weeks

Her favorite chef had quit

And enough was enough

“Nikolai you’ve really upset me” Tatiana said voice showing her fatigue

Nikolais brows furrowed

“I’m sorry Mother” Nikolai apologized

“If your sorry you’ll stop with this”

Some nannies came and took Nikolai back to bed

Walking away Tatiana felt that familiar ache

It was late

And Pyotr was waiting for her in there room

Opening the door she saw him sitting on the bed

It never ends does it? Tatiana numbly thought willing herself to walk over to the king

Placing her crown on the dresser

She already knew the answer

Im actually really proud of this! I had no real direction but kinda ran with the prompt. I’m not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for but hey, I did it.

I made this very Tatiana centric because I think her story was quite interesting. Less family then I would like because there not, like, a happy family, lol

My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests. I do any ships no matter how crack they are.

Thank you @pastelpepmint for the prompt!!! Love you to babe ♥️

[voguingtodanzig]

THE CELESTIAL JUKEBOX, PRESENT TENSE - 250 SONGS

Again, some of this is personal and sentimental, linked to time and place and experience.

50 Cent, “Many Men (Wish Death)”

100 gecs, “800db cloud”

10,000 Maniacs, “Candy Everybody Wants”

Bryan Adams, “Everything I Do”

Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, “Spanish Flea”

America, “Sister Golden Hair”

Julie Andrews, “My ​​Favorite Things”

Animal Collective, “Brother Sport”

Aphex Twin, “Tha”

Fiona Apple, “Extraordinary Machine”

Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World”

Ash, “Shining Light”

Atlantic Starr, “Always”

Atlas Sound, “Washington School”

Autechre, “Vose In”

The B-52s, “Deadbeat Club”

Bananarama, “Cruel Summer”

The Beatles, “All My Loving”

Beck, “Girl”

Belle & Sebastian, “Seymour Stein”

Benoit & Sergio, “Boy Trouble”

Beyoncé, “Countdown”

Bikini Kill, “Alien She”

Bilal, “West Side Girl”

Bjork, “It’s Oh So Quiet”

Black Dice, “Pigs”

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, “Stop”

The Black-Eyed Peas, “Imma Be”

Blast Off Country Style, “Cutie Pie”

Blondie, “Heart of Glass”

The Bloodhound Gang, “Your Only Friends Are Make-Believe”

The Box Tops, “The Letter”

Brainiac, “I Am A Cracked Machine”

Michelle Branch, “Everywhere”

Laura Branigan, “Gloria”

The Breeders, “Off You”

Danny Brown, “Gremlins”

James Brown, “Get Up I Feel Like Being a Sex Machine”

Jackson Browne, “Somebody’s Baby”

Vanessa Carlton, “A Thousand Miles”

Harry Chapin, “Cat’s in the Cradle”

Tracy Chapman, “Fast Car”

The Carpenters, “Yesterday Once More”

Julian Casablancas and the Voidz, “Human Sadness”

The Chemical Brothers, “Free Yourself”

Chixdiggit!, “My Restaurant”

Cibo Matto, “Sunday, Pt. 1”

Ciara feat. Missy Elliott, “One, Two Step”

Clipse, “Dirty Money”

Jim Croce, “Operator”

Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “You Don’t Have To Cry”

Christopher Cross, “Ride Like the Wind”

Cryptacize, “Mythomania”

Crystal Castles, “Air War”

Culture Club, “Karma Chameleon”

Terrence Trent D’Arby, “Sign Your Name”

Daft Punk, “Around the World”

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich, “Hold Tight”

Dead Kennedys, “Kill the Poor”

DeBarge, “The Rhythm of the Night”

Deerhoof, “+81”

Deerhunter, “Octet”

Depeche Mode, “Personal Jesus”

Dial, “Helium”

The Diplomats, “Dipset Anthem”

DMX, “Stop Being Greedy”

The Doobie Brothers, “Black Water”

Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg, “Nuthin’ But a G Thang”

The-Dream, “Love King”

Duran Duran, “Hungry Like The Wolf”

Bob Dylan, “Positively 4th Street”

The Eagles, “Lyin’ Eyes”

Eat Skull, “Cooking a Way to be Happy”

Elastica, “Connection”

The Everly Brothers, “All I Have to Do is Dream”

The Ben Folds Five, “The Battle of Who Could Care Less”

Eleanor Friedberger, “Stare at the Sun”

Eminem feat. Dido, “Stan”

Brian Eno, “Cindy Tells Me”

Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”

Extreme, “More Than Words”

The Fall, “Glam-Racket”

Roberta Flack, “Killing Me Softly With His Song”

Flipper, “Ha Ha Ha”

Dan Fogelberg, “Longer”

The Free Design, “The Proper Ornaments”

Fur, “Devil to the Lamb”

Garbage, “Only Happy When It Rains”

Judy Garland, “Over the Rainbow”

Kevin Gates, “Paper Chasers”

Ghostface Killah, “Shakey Dog”

Freddie Gibbs, “20 Karat Jesus”

Godspeed You! Black Emperor, “The Dead Flag Blues”

Gorillaz feat. De La Soul, “Feel Good Inc.”

Go Sailor, “I’m Still Crying”

Granddaddy, “A.M. 180”

Colleen Green, “I Want to Grow Up”

Green Day, “Basket Case”

Grimes, “REALITi”

Gucci Mane, “Break Ya Self (Brrrussia version)”

Guided By Voices, “Teenage FBI”

Harvey Danger, “Flagpole Sitta”

Helium, “XXX”

Keri Hilson, “Pretty Girl Rock”

Hole, “Malibu”

The Hollies, “All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe”

Michael Jackson, “Rock With You”

Jay-Z, “Hard Knock Life”

Henry Jacobs, “Guitar Lesson”

Jawbreaker, “Fireman”

Jeremih, “Oui”

Jewel, “Standing Still”

Jimmy Eat World, “Sweetness”

Billy Joel, “Uptown Girl”

Scott Joplin, “The Entertainer”

Journey, “Don’t Stop Believin’”

Juelz Santana, “Mixin’ up the Medicine”

R. Kelly feat. T.I. & T-Pain, “I’m a Flirt (Remix)”

Kool and the Gang, “Celebration”

Lana Del Rey, “Off to the Races”

Lagwagon, “May 16”

The Libertines, “Horror Show”

Limp Bizkit, “Re-Arranged”

Lindstrom, “Where You Go I Go Too”

Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, “Lost in Emotion”

Lit, “My Own Worst Enemy”

The Lonely Island feat. T-Pain, “I’m on a Boat”

Lotus Plaza, “What Grows?”

Lower Dens, “Candy”

Courtney Love, “I’ll Do Anything”

Love As Laughter, “Idol Worship”

M.I.A, “Bamboo Banga”

Madonna, “Hung Up”

Madlib, “Mystic Bounce”

Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, “Ramp of Death”

The Mamas and the Papas, “California Dreamin’”

John Mayer, “New Light”

Meek Mill, “Dreams and Nightmares Intro”

Men at Work, “Safety Dance”

George Michael, “Faith”

The Modern Lovers, “I’m Straight”

Modest Mouse, “Heart Cooks Brain”

The Moldy Peaches, “Nothing Came Out”

Chris Montez, “The More I See You”

Alanis Morissette, “Head Over Feet”

Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, “Lucky”

MXPX, “Party, My House, Be There”

My Bloody Valentine, “You Never Should”

Nas, “The World Is Yours”

Johnny Nash, “I Can See Clearly Now”

Neu!, “Hallogallo”

New Order, “Subculture”

New Pornographers, “The Laws Have Changed”

Wayne Newton, “Danke Schoen”

Harry Nilsson, “Jump into the Fire”

Nine Inch Nails, “Wish”

Nirvana, “About a Girl”

The Notorious B.I.G., “Warning”

Maura O’Connell, “Summerfly”

The Orb, “Little Fluffy Clouds”

Panda Bear, “Mr Noah”

Pavement, “Harness Your Hopes (BBC Evening Session)”

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth, “They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)”

Liz Phair, “Shane”

Pinhead Gunpowder, “I Am An Elephant”

The Platters, “Only You (And You Alone)”

The Pointer Sisters, “Jump”

Michael Praetorius, “Es ist ein Ros entsprungen”

Elvis Presley, “A Little Less Conversation”

Primal Scream, “Keep Your Dreams”

The Prodigy, “Breathe”

Propaghandi, “Anti-Manifesto”

Brian Protheroe, “Pinball”

Psychic Graveyard, “No”

Public Enemy, “Fight The Power”

Aileen Quinn, “Tomorrow”

Radiohead, “A Wolf at the Door”

Gerry Rafferty, “Right Down the Line”

Bonnie Raitt, “Something to Talk About”

The Ramones, “Chain Saw”

Otis Redding, “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay”

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, “In Motion”

Lou Reed and Metallica, “Junior Dad”

Rihanna feat. Jay-Z, “Umbrella”

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, “Islands in the Stream”

The Rolling Stones, “Sympathy for the Devil”

Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram, “Somewhere Out There”

Rosemary Krust, “Private Amber”

Diana Ross, “Theme From Mahogany”

Roxy Music, “More Than This”

A Savage, “Eyeballs”

The Shangri-Las, “Leader of the Pack”

Shanice, “I Love Your Smile”

Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud”

Sightings, “Yellow”

The Silver Jews, “Blue Arrangements”

Alan Silvestri, “The Back to the Future theme”

Paul Simon, “Kodachrome”

Ashlee Simpson, “Pieces of Me”

Slade, “Cum On Feel the Noize”

The Smashing Pumpkins, “Here’s to the Atom Bomb (New Wave version)”

The Soft Pink Truth, “Do They Owe Us A Living?”

Sonic Youth, “Jams Run Free”

Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown, “No Air”

Spoon, “The Mystery Zone”

Starving Weirdos, “Land Lines”

Stereolab, “Plastic Mile”

The Strokes, “12:51”

Swell Maps, “Let’s Build A Car”

Taylor Swift, “Style”

Stylophonic, “R U Experienced”

Jazmine Sullivan, “Mascara”

Suicidal Tendencies, “Institutionalized”

Taco, “Puttin’ on the Ritz”

James Taylor, “You’ve Got a Friend”

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”

Throwing Muses, “Not Too Soon”

TLC, “Baby-Baby-Baby”

Tortoise, “Djed”

The Toys, “A Lover’s Concerto”

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, “Summer Nights”

A Tribe Called Quest, “Can I Kick It?”

UB40, “Red Red Wine”

Joe Walsh, “Life’s Been Good”

Scott Weiland, “Paralysis”

Steely Dan, “Do It Again”

Stiff Little Fingers, “Suspect Device”

Stylophonic, “RU Experienced?”

T.I., “What You Know”

Mary Timony, “Blood Tree”

that dog., “I’m Gonna See You”

The Tymes, “So Much In Love”

Ultimate Painting, “Out in the Cold”

The Unicorns, “Child Star”

The Velvet Underground, “The Gift”

Waka Flocka Flame, “Hard in da Paint”

Ween, “Even If You Don’t”

Weezer, “Endless Bummer”

Kanye West, “Devil in a New Dress (G.O.O.D. Fridays version)”

WHAM!, “Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go)”

White Hassle, “Oh, What a Feeling”

Matthew Wilder, “Break My Stride”

Bill Withers, “Lean on Me”

Wolf Eyes, “Human Animal”

Stevie Wonder, “My Cherie Amour”

Wye Oak, “Siamese”

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Maps”

Yo La Tengo, “My Heart’s Reflection”

Zaimph, “Removing Bits of History”

The Zombies, “Time of the Season”

[countessogilvy]

[playlist] the sounds of avery wilshere

listen to this playlist on Spotify

@platinumweekend

watermelon sugar - harry styles

strawberries on a summer evenin' / baby, you're the end of june / i want your belly / and that summer feelin' / getting washed away in you / breathe me in / breathe me out / i don't know if i could ever go without

makes me wonder - maroon 5

give me something to believe in / 'cause i don't believe in you anymore, anymore / i wonder if it even makes a difference to try / yeah, so, this is goodbye / god damn, my spinning head / decisions that made my bed / now I must lay in it / and deal with things i've left unsaid

lucky - britney spears

lost in an image, in a dream / but there's no one there to wake her up / and the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning / but tell me, what happens when it stops? / they go, isn't she lovely, this hollywood girl?

high horse - kacey musgraves

i bet you think you're first place / yeah, someone should give you a ribbon / and put you in the hall of fame / for all the games that you think that you're winning / cause everyone knows someone who kills the buzz / everytime they open up their mouth / yeah everyone knows someone who knows someone / who thinks they're cooler than everybody else

jealous - nick jonas

i turn my chin music up / and I'm puffing my chest / i'm getting red in the face / you can call me obsessed / it's not your fault that they hover / i mean no disrespect / it's my right to be hellish / i still get jealous

because of you - 98 degrees

baby I really know by now / since we met that day / you showed me the way / i felt it then / you gave me love, i can't describe / how much I feel for you / i said baby i should have known by now / should have been right there / whenever you gave me love

you belong with me - taylor swift

walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans / i can't help thinking this is how it ought to be / laughing on a park bench thinking to myself / hey, isn't this easy? / and you've got a smile / that can light up this whole town / i haven't seen it in a while / since she brought you down / you say you're fine, i know you better than that / hey, what you doing with a girl like that?

new rules - dua lipa

one, don't pick up the phone / you know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone / two, don't let him in / you have to kick him out again / three, don't be his friend / you know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning / and if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

treat you better - shawn mendes

i'll stop time for you / the second you say you'd like me to / i just wanna give you the loving that you're missing / baby, just to wake up with you / would be everything i need, and this could be so different / tell me what you want to do

like i love you - justin timberlake

late at night, i talk to you / you will know the difference when i touch you / people are so phony, nosy 'cause they're lonely / aren't you sick of the same thing? / they say so and so was dating, love you or they're hatin' / when it doesn't matter anyway / ‘cause we're here tonight

genie in a bottle - christina aguilera

if you wanna be with me / baby, there's a price to pay / i'm a genie in a bottle / you gotta ask me the right way / if you wanna be with me / i can make your wish come true / just come and set me free / baby and i'll be with you

(there’s gotta be) more to life - stacie orrico

i've got the time and i'm wasting it slowly / here in this moment i'm half way out the door / onto the next thing, i'm searching for something that's missing / there's gotta be more to life / than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me / cause the more that i’m / tripping out thinking there must be more to life

all or nothing - o-town

there are times, it seems to me / i'm sharing you with memories / i feel it in my heart but i don't show it, show it / then there's times you look at me / as though i'm all that you can see / those times I don't believe it's right

love yourself - carole & tuesday ost (pyotr voiced by j r price)

i never felt at ease in my own skin / from when i was a young boy / i didn't know myself then / and now I know that / nothing's wrong with my heart / nothing's wrong with my head / nothing's wrong with the way i walk / i heard people talking / i am perfect naturally, and i'll bet all my money / no one else could love me quite like me, baby

i kissed a girl - katy perry

us girls we are so magical / soft skin, red lips, so kissable / hard to resist so touchable / too good to deny it / ain't no big deal, it's innocent / i kissed a girl and i liked it / the taste of her cherry chap stick / i kissed a girl just to try it / i hope my boyfriend don't mind it

the climb - miley cyrus

there's always gonna be another mountain / i'm always gonna wanna make it move / always gonna be an uphill battle / sometimes i'm gonna have to lose / ain't about how fast i get there / ain't about what's waiting on the other side / it's the climb

[thecrownnet]

[...] The featured music in The Crown season 4 varies in tone massively. For example, episode three includes various pop tracks that parallel Diana's ascent within the Royal Family, however, the subsequent episode includes no pop music whatsoever. After several music-lite episodes during the second half of the series, the musical tone picks up in the penultimate production. Here's every featured song in The Crown season 4.

Episode 1: "Gold Stick" "Jerusalem" by Sir Hubert Parry: The funeral service for Lord Mountbatten begins. Meanwhile, an Irish man reads a report about the Irish Republican Army taking responsibility for the execution, along with the deaths of 18 British soldiers at Warren Point. The man addresses Irish Republicans and states that Lord Mountbatten was the "ultimate symbol" of imperialist oppression. "Jerusalem" ends as Prince Charles begins his speech.

"Call Me" by Blondie: Diana receives a call from Charles, the Prince of Wales. Shortly before, Charles has a brief second meeting with Diana after the death of Lord Mountbatten.

Episode 2: "The Balmoral Test" "Verdi’s La Traviata – Prelude Act 1" by Giuseppe Verdi: Charles and Diana attend the opera together. Diana explains that she adores Verdi because his music is so romantic, and Charles explains that focusing only on the romantic aspects of the work diminishes the composer's legacy and political influence.

"Scotland the Brave": Margaret Thatcher attends a sporting event in Scotland with her husband Denis and The Royal Family. She doesn't find any value in the experience and states that the country needs to change fundamentally, top to bottom.

"Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 in D, BWV 1050: Affetuoso" by Johann Sebastian Bach: After Diana proves herself to the Royal Family at Balmoral, she's followed by the press in London (and seems to enjoy the attention). Meanwhile, Margaret Thatcher attends a government photo session. A new stag head is also placed in a Balmoral dining room.

Episode 3: "Fairytale"

"Upside Down" by Diana Ross: Diana is briefly shown driving in her vehicle.

"Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks: Diana returns home after getting engaged to Charles and celebrates with her flatmates. The young women drive around the city and party before the main title sequence. An acapella version of the song also plays during the final credits.

"Vienna" by Ultravox: After an awkward Royal Family event, Diana learns about Royal Family rules and etiquette. A brief insert shot shows Diana waking up at 8:30 a.m. and listening to "Vienna."

"Girls on Film" by Duran Duran: Diana receives mail, watches TV, and then roller skates around Buckingham Palace while listening to "Girls on Film." The song drowns out while she looks at paintings and reflects on her new reality.

"Song for Guy" by Elton John: After discovering that Charles had a bracelet made for Camilla, Diana calms herself by dancing and practicing ballet.

"I Vow to Thee, My Country": Charles greets admirers outside a cathedral. Inside, Diana watches while preparing to confront him about a bracelet for "Gladys" (Camilla).

Episode 4: "Favourites"

The Crown "Favourites" doesn't include any featured songs.

Episode 5: "Fagan" "Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure: Michael Fagan lights a cigarette and takes a walk. The scene kicks off a flashback narrative that details his 1982 break-in at Buckingham Palace.

"Monkey Man" by The Specials: Michael Fagan drinks beer at a pub, spot his ex-wife, and threatens her partner. In a transition sequence, Margaret Thatcher arrives at Buckingham Palace to discuss the Falkland Islands conflict with Argentina.

"God Save the Queen": The Royal Family prepares to meet with the public.

"Queen’s Company" by The Band of the Grenadier Guards: The Queen takes the royal salute during her annual birthday celebration.

"Twenty Four Hours" by Joy Division: Michael Fagan smokes a cigarette after a physical altercation with his ex-wife's parter. The moment comes shortly after he breaks into Buckingham Palace for the first time.

"Whine and Grine/Stand Down Margaret" by The English Beat: The song plays over the end credits and an epilogue about Michael Fagan.

Episode 6: "Terra Nullius"

"Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You" by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons: Charles introduces Diana in Sydney after a rekindling of their romance. The couple later dances at a public event while the paparazzi take photographs. The song plays again during the end credits.

Episode 7: "The Hereditary Principle" "C'est si bon" by Dean Martin: Princess Margaret applies makeup and watches Queen Elizabeth on television.

"Let’s Dance" by David Bowie: Princess Margaret and Dazzle drink and dance together.

"Fallin" by Connie Francis: Princess Margaret goes on vacation after ending her relationship with Dazzle.

Episode 8: "48:1"

"Fite Dem Back" by Linton Kwesi Johnson: South African people dance in the streets while protesting.

"Inglan Is a Bitch" by Linton Kwesi Johnson: The song plays over the end credits.

Episode 9: "Avalanche" "Othello, Act I: Una vela!" by Giuseppe Verdi: Charles celebrates his 37th birthday at the opera with Diana.

"Swan Lake, Pas De Deux (1), Act II" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky: Diana looks at Charlies inside the opera house.

"Fidelio, Op.72, Act II: Intro and Aria" by Ludwig van Beethoven: A man performs on stage while Diana tells Charles that she needs to powder her nose.

"Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel: Diana joins one of the performers on stage. The song drowns out as Charles gazes at Diana and realizes that she'll once again receive more press than him the following day.

"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen: Diana, William, and Harry sing together during an anniversary road trip to Highgrove Royal Gardens.

"All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera: As an anniversary gift, Diana plays Charles a VHS tape of her performing in costume on the West End. Charles laters mocks his wife while speaking with Anne.

Episode 10: "War"

"Theme from New York, New York": Diana arrives in New York City and attends a public event.

"Baby, It’s Cold Outside" by Ella Fitzgerald: Charles and Diana attend a holiday event after arguing about their marriage.

"Silent Night": The Royal Family poses for a photograph. The season comes to an end by foreshadowing Diana's tragic fate through a shutter flash.

Martin Phipps composed The Crown season 4 score.

[hannah-oc-palace]

Whoms’t’ve (aka intro)

Mutanty Oleg - 21 foot slav who is oblivious- biggest fella Pyotr - edgy man who can see futures - scar mouth Aurik - too cautious and afraid - german in a bad place Shurik - loves guns knifes and eating everything - literal gremlin man Dimitri - psychic powered braincells - smart and gay Dima - four armed and understanding - Russian Pringle dad

Monstere Zach - superhero that can go gore - the thing is himbo Hollin/Background- is attracted to bastard parasite - venom is that you? Perry - mute and can manipulate periodic elements- angry chemist Gyrill - got one leg but will ride motorcycle to you - boogie woogie woogie Brody - Zach’s smart boyfriend - too kind for this

Life of The Infected Monika - can kill in a single touch - fungus child Alex - can’t die fully -a corpse boy Icee - ice powered zombie kid - cold baby Sōdō - a transfer who hates it here - two sets of teeth Bobon - just a cryptid here to vibe - trucker hat

Sewer Life Albi - young mouse -albino and afraid Ringo - Australian rat - not the drummer mate Bayou - crocodile who runs a gang - Chevrolet movie theater Ouro - snake lady -ssslut Gata - a black kitten who’s dad has ties to the gang - pretty dirty Beta - betta fish -assassin fish Oppa - opossum - tree hobo Gruber - red eared turtle - old and sick Fonidae - toad - the loving cook

Louisiana’s Worst Swamp Marsh - swamp creature that is true neutral - chickem Willow - lil sis who is hyperactive - grass hair

A Ship Named Canis Cameron - perky assistant-  so no legs? Viverr - trained fighter -false cat boy Deapodia - geologist digger bee - bee movie Piet - abstract being who changes form - too cool for reality Bravo - android genreal - robo dad Etor - shark boy/girl who is talking a lot - glass shark Löward - the medic is filled with bromine and love - he’s you're bro(mine) Fabaria - calm until not -nerd plant Visin - psychic mechanic - eyes

Dork-asaurus Marc - brontosaurus who’s had enough bs - tired and French Opal - sweet mosasaurus - proper lady Roger - rude ass pterodactyl - piss rights

False Myths Xaoc - god of chaos, death and the sun - kill and murder Nadzor - god of order, life and the moon - business official Sherman - just a teen vampire - pastel vamp Tsyalo - god of neutrality and maybe weed - seedling emoji

Branded With Magic Sunglasses Lady Shades - brash and arrogant warrior - red tat Lord Shades - engineer who is kinda dumb - yellow tat Little Shades - vibrant fashion designer - blue tat Commerce - an ai that said bastardly deeds time - Static chatter Perfect Shades - resident hot bad guy - fake tat

Defenders of Nothing Oliver - Paladin who is trying his best -nervous but chaotic Adira - Ranger girls who say bruh - woodland child Mendax - demon of lies - fire pants

The Many Cases of Doodleopolis Detective Doodle (Marcel) - The detective around here - coffee addict Marco - Marcel’s brother - asshole on main Miss Jubilee - Marcel’s coworker -berry nice Molly - ghost working at a cafe - waitress under stress Dr Ottipu - doctor that is an octopus - stethoscope in water

Welcome to Louksen Marmy - a sweet antler baby - just a boy Fay - quiet and listening always - blind poet Dooper - dog snake who cannot talk - pubby Gora Fiddle - works with her mom- hardly working Samson - neighborhood old cook - cranky candy cane Kyle - a radical god -surfs up mortals Sean LeFuef - in places he shouldn’t be - abandoned

The Deadly 7 Ryan - rager - guitar Creed - mr crabs but subtle - producer Anthony - eats their feelings - tech Solone - bored of everything - drums V- punk girl gets envious of everyone- keyboard Paul - has five mirrors -bass Lucy - she kisses and tells - lead vocalist

OOC - Me the girl who said this was a good idea - boo boo the fool

[crying-overit-all]

im kinda bored rn so imma just do this lol

1. song i discovered this month- lets go by stuck in the sound

2. a song that always makes me smile- dream boy by waterparks, that song is always going hard

3. a song that makes me cry- heroes by david bowie

4. song ik all the words to- holding onto you by twenty one pilots

5. a song that proves i have good taste- uhh music taste is subjective technically no one has good taste 🧍‍♀️

6. a song title in all lowercase- wonderful life by bring me the horizon

7. a song title in all uppercase- like a rockstar by chase atlantic

8. an underrated song- idk like i said music is subjective

9. song title with three words- plug in baby by muse

10. a song from my childhood- break your heart by taio cruz. what a throwback

11. a song that reminds me of summer- borderline by tame impala, though ive never experienced a summer listening to it, i think it fits the summer vibe

12. a song i feel embarrassed listening to- anything by the smiths lmaoo theyre a guilty pleasure

13. the first song that plays on shuffle- i dont have one big playlist i just have little individual ones lol

14. a song that someone showed me- the cult of dionysus by the orion experience

15. a song from a movie soundtrack- fox on the run by sweet (from the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack)

16. a song with no words- waltz of the flowers by pyotr ilyich tchaikovsky

17. a song about being 17- icarus by with confidence (its not about being seventeen but its mentioned a few times)

18. a song that reminds me of someone- wish you were gay by billie eilish reminds me of a group of friends i have

19. a song to drive to- i dont even have a drivers permit bc i cant find where to get it on the dmv website smh

20. a song with a number in the title- 100 bad days by ajr

21. a song i listen to at 3am- im up at three am almost everyday and i listen to a lot of music during that time, nothing specific. its almost three am rn and im listening to cinnamon girl by lana del rey lol

22. a song with a long title- london beckoned songs about money written machines by panic at the disco

23. a song with a color in the title- blue velvet by bobby vinton

24. a song ive had stuck in my head- none at the moment

25. a song in a different language- una mañana by josé josé

26. a song that helps you fall asleep- i cant fall asleep to music anymore

27. a song that describes how i feel right now- i dont really listen to music that describes how i feel about stuff lol

28. a song i used to hate but love now- heaven knows im miserable now by the smiths

29. a song i want/have downloaded- when i used a mobile i had the whole three cheers for sweet revenge album by my chemical romance downloaded on itunes i miss it

30. a song i want to share- hm im not really sure if i have one lol

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[elizabetholsens]

lzzieolsn’s 3k celebration: a study on nat + steve from deep inside my headcanons

i am my own woman: a playlist about natasha romanoff

see you in a minute: a playlist about natasha and steve

both are available publicly on spotify, lists of included songs are below the cut, and I’m just tagging some mutuals who might be interested / who i just want to be friends with because i’m annoying! if we’re mutuals and you’re not into marvel i am just sparing you from this post by not tagging you but hi i can’t believe any of you are here?? i love the internet <3

@natashasromanofff @futurist @jessicatrish @visionmcu @drewjess @mbaaku @downey-junior @andthwip @happywanda @beardychris @sabrinacarpunter @enwestphalie @natasharoomanoff

i am my own woman:

1. Till Now - BANKS

2. You Don’t Own Me - Lesley Gore

3. My Song 5 - HAIM

4. Fall Behind Me - The Donnas

5. Run The Heart - Sleigh Bells

6. Spiderwebs - No Doubt

7. Shut Up Kiss Me - Angel Olsen

8. Remember My Name - Mitski

9. Fuck With Myself - BANKS

10. bad woman - Lykke Li

11. FRIENDS - The Carters

12. Sex With Me - Rihanna

13. Bad At Love - Halsey

14. Weaker Girl - BANKS

15. The Archer - Taylor Swift

16. How To Disappear Completely - Radiohead

17. bury a friend - Billie Eilish

18. You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse

19. Non, je ne regrette rien - Edith Piaf

20. Swan Lake: No. 29 Scene finale - Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

see you in a minute:

1. Give Yourself A Try - The 1975

2. I Need Your Light - Ra Ra Riot

3. Just Friends - Amy Winehouse

4. From Me To You - The Beatles

5. Lean on Me - Bill Withers

6. Don’t Worry Baby - The Beach Boys

7. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen

8. The Story - Brandi Carlile

9. Team - Lorde

10. White Houses - Vanessa Carlton

11. I Will Be There - Odessa

12. To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

13. Ribs - Lorde

14. Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine

15. when the party’s over - Billie Eilish

16. Landslide - Dixie Chicks

17. This Must Be The Place - Iron & Wine

[miilenv-archived]

well, well, well... helloooo, it’s been a while, my friends, but i’m back nd ( i think ) better than ever ?? idk, either way, i’m bee nd pumped to be back here, i missed you all sm ! there has been a massive change in lenya’s life so even if you’ve read it before, i promise y’all it’s worth the read again !

&&. announcing her majesty, ( milena yurivič ), the ( 36 ) year old ( queen ) of ( belarus ). she is often confused with ( irina shayk ). some say that she is ( machiavellian & acerbic ), but she is actually ( ambitious & intelligent ).

so this is milena, or lenya if you're a close friend or family member ! she's the queen of belarus, and she used to be married to the king of belarus, pyotr yurivič. she's also formerly her serene highness, milena maksimovna de bourbon-grimaldi, the princess of monaco & before that, her royal highness milena romanova, princess of russia. so basically, This Bitch has a lot of damn titles.

i'm going to add a few dot points below but trust me when i say that if you read her BIO, STATS & TASK 002 ( or just... check out this tag for all the tasks i did way back when & recently updated (; )  you'll know pretty much everything you need to know. 

so she was born may 1, 1984, which makes her 36 ! she's just celebrated her one-year anniversary as the queen of belarus. 

her father, maksim, was king mikhail's younger brother, he was married to ekaterina they had a son, nikolai, who was two years older than lenya. 

when she was eleven, katya fell pregnant and sadly, she died giving birth to anastasiya. BUT, she left a letter behind, detailing an affair she had that resulted in her falling pregnant. simka, lenya's dad, was already struggling with her death and the letter was basically the straw that broke the camels back. he told her and her brother the secret, and then climbed in his car. nikolasha was determined to stop him and climbed into the backseat, but before he could say or do anything, their father drove into a tree, killing them both.

so then it was just lenya and her newborn baby sister, thankfully though, her uncle took them in and they were then raised alongside alexei, nadya & her other cousins.

skipping forwards, she attended oxford and studied ppe ( philosophy, politics & economics ) & journalism, and once she left school she managed to nab a job as a political journalist at the guardian newspaper in the uk. 

around the time she got her job she began dating henri de bourbon-grimaldi ( and levente cröy ), she was nearing twenty-eight years old and she wanted the wedding and the kids. it really was a matter of who out of henri and levente was ready for more and stepped up. it ended up being henri and he proposed at her twenty-eighth birthday. they married 3 months later.

henri and lenya wanted kids, desperately, but it wasn't for them and they tried to conceive but never succeeded. after finding out the reason for their bad luck, not a week later henri perished in the plane crash.

barely a month after his funeral, lenya packed her bags and fleed back to russia, in her grief she just wanted to be at home, with family. she also needed a new plan.

that's another thing: milena always has a plan. you can call it a goal too but she needs the organisation. she lives for having a purpose. 

so she had a few journalist friends in belarus ( she calls them sources, they're essentially spies ), who told her that king pyotr was of old age, no heirs, and his health was deteriorating. so she did as she does, and brought an idea to her cousins: ‘ what if i bring belarus even closer to us ? ’

and so, off she went to belarus, and within about a month she was milena yurivič, queen of belarus. because of the speed of the wedding after henri's death, she's been painted in the media as a black widow. 

she lived in dubai for almost two months, if you also subtract the two or so weeks she returned to belarus when pyotr was in ill health, but had to return when he went beyond the point of no return. within a month of milena returning to minsk, her husband was dead. before his death, he stipulated that in the event of his passing, milena was to rule belarus, on one condition: that she stay in a period of mourning for twelve months and not marry until after it. 

it was, if she was honest, a complete shock to her. she’d spent their whole marriage convincing him she was trying to conceive and would continue to do so in the event of his death. as it would seem, it was hardly necessary.

now she’s returning to dubai as the only ruling monarch of belarus, and she’s fully aware that she’s in a precarious position politically. she’s been fending off pyotr’s distant relatives who all claim they’re now the true heir, while trying to firmly cement herself in the court. any alliances she can make that can support her in the event that someone challenges her rule would be exceptionally welcome.

as for her personality: she's ruthless in her pursuit of what she wants, she's not a very open person and only trusts her family and those who've proven themselves. new friendships are unlikely but she will make alliances. 

oh ! and she's based on cersei lannister from game of thrones, which i think explain a lot about her tbh !

okay, that's all i've got for now, but please come and love on my girl ! i’m so pleased to be back & more than happy to pick up plots where i left them or start fresh, hmu either way bbs !

[writing-mermaid]

A Monster Like Me

Summary : After an incident, a young man remembers how he met his fiancée and the hard path they had that led them to that moment.

Words : 5 532

Author’s note : I wrote that one shot for two challenges : @sebbys-girl and  @caplansteverogers. My prompts were the song A Monster Like Me and the sentence  “A monster like me doesn’t deserve to be loved”. I used the song as an inspiration, but I also put some of the lyrics in the dialogues.

Warnings : Language, mentions of war, violence, PTSD.

Song of the title : A Monster Like Me -  Mørland & Debrah Scarlett

Masterlist 

The constant beeping of the machines. The slow and steady breath. Grey walls. Setting sun shyly picking through the taupe louvered shutters. Night is falling and so does the rain. The unremitting procession of nurses, doctors and sick people. Hospital life. It’s been four days and nothing changed. She’s still lying there, eyes closed, her body surrounded by white sheets, hands resting by her sides, sliver engagement ring shining around her ring finger, her chest rising and falling gently. I spent the last four days pacing up and down like a caged lion, constantly dwelling on how we met and what happened on that night.

“How is she today ?”, a nurse asks, entering the room, to check on the screens.

“Same as usual”, I answer, sitting on the chair next to the bed, grabbing the cold hand resting on the covers.

“Don’t worry mister Barnes, she’s going to wake up at some point”, she optimistically says. “And everything will be alright.”

She smiles and then, exists the room.

I intertwine my fingers with hers and smell her hand, looking for her usual scent, but it’s not here anymore, it’s long gone. Sweet Romance, that’s the name of her perfume. It enchanted me from the beginning, the smell of plum and blackberry, the sweetness of the morning rose, mixed with jasmine. Sweet romance, not really what she signed of when she chose to be with me. It turned me upside down when I first smell it, the day I met her.

How can I even forget that blessed day, or rather night, I met her. It was five years ago. I remember the moment she stepped into the club, with Steve by her side. I’ll always remember that little navy blue dress sprinkled with white birds. I was sitting with Sam, Clint, Natasha, Wanda, Peggy and Vision when he led her to our table, his hand on the small of her back to guide her towards us. When she came into the light, the first thing I noticed were smiling eyes and a bright smile on her painted red lips. She probably was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and I would probably be the most fucked-up man she would ever meet.

“Guys, let me introduce someone to you ! This is Y/N Howlett, she’s my new neighbor.”

“Hi”, she waved at us.

“Of course you already know Peggy, and these are some of our friends, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, his girlfriend Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Vision Shade, her boyfriend, and James Barnes, my best friend, but he goes by Bucky.”

“Nice to meet all of you”, she said, her voice peaking over the loud music.

“So Steve finally managed to make you go out of your place”, Peggy stated.

“Yeah”, she answered, “he said I should meet new people as I haven’t really had time to do it myself, he would make me meet some himself.”

“And that was an excellent choice”, Sam said, raising from his seat to take the one next to Y/N. “So beautiful, can I order you a drink ?”

“Sparkling water please. With a slice of lemon.”

“Consider it done !”, Sam exclaimed, rising on his feet. “Please, take a seat”, he gestured to her and, she complied, sitting next to Wanda.

After a few minutes, she started chattering with the girls, what about, I didn’t really know, still don’t for the matter, but didn’t care and whatever they were talking about is not the subject. I was completely mesmerized by her, her bright Y/E/C eyes shining through the lights of the club, her Y/H/C hair glowing in the dark, her straight back, ankles crossed. I don’t know which one of the girls said a funny thing but, she laughed, a crystal clear laugh, the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I haven’t contemplate her enough that Sam came back a few minutes later with two glasses in his hands.

“There you are sweetheart”, he said, putting down the glass of water in front of Y/N.

“Thank you”, she told him and then took a sip of her beverage.

“Now let’s talk about you, princess”, he began. “What do you do for living ?”

“I’m a dancer, a ballerina”, she answered.

“A ballerina. So I assume that you must be very supple then”, Sam added, not so cunningly, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Sam please, leave the poor girl alone”, Steve suddenly appeared next to us, standing a beer in one hand, his second one in his jeans pocket. “I already had a hard time to make her get out of her apartment, so please don’t scare her.”

“What kind of show are you working on ?”, Wanda questioned.

“Swan Lake, that’s the brand-new show my company is putting on. I’ve had the honor of being chosen to play the Swan Queen”, she responded, shyly blushing.

“Wow Swan Lake and Swan Queen, how… Amazing.”

“Say the truth Wilson, you don’t know anything about that story.”

“Because you do Barnes, maybe ?”

“Actually, yes”, I answered him. “Swan Lake is a ballet written by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. It’s about a princess, turned into a swan by an evil magician during the day, and she’s human again by night. One day, a prince that was hunting the swan followed her to the lake she belonged, and when the moonlight hit on her, she became a beautiful princess, they both fell in love and to break the curse, he promised to marry her. Except that the magician didn’t agree about that, and so he turned a black swan into the princess’ clone, so when the prince saw the black swan at the ball, he thought she was his princess and promised her eternal love. But then, the trick is revealed and the prince rushes to his true love, but she’s dying. They both die in the end. That’s a very sad story.”

I took a mouthful of my beer, everyone was gazing wide-eyed at me.

“What ?”, I said. “It’s not because that I’m in the army that I’m not cultivated.”

“You’re in the army ?”, Y/N asked.

“Yes, so does Steve and Sam.”

“My dad was in the army too”, she smiled at me.

And that’s how everything started. At the end of the night, we all head to Steve’s apartment, and we left her next door, with the promise of a brunch at Steve’s the next day. At the end of said-brunch, I headed back home with her phone number and a dinner date the next week to the great displeasure of Sam.

I took her somewhere fancy, because I wanted to woo her, literally.

“You didn’t need to”, she said, when we stopped in front of the restaurant.

“I just wanted to treat you like you deserve to doll, a real princess.”

“I’m no princess, James.”

“That’s what you say”, I winked at her.

We followed the maître d'hotel to the table I booked, and we started to chat of everything and nothing after we ordered food. When we get served, she simply hummed in pleasure when she took a bite of her pasta dish.

“So, what can you tell me about yourself ?”, I questioned her. “You told me your father was in the army.”

“Yes”, she responded, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “Maybe in your regiment you’ve already heard about James Howlett. Well I think you would have more heard about Logan Howlett, my dad goes by his middle name. He thinks that James is too common name. Please, don’t be offended.”

“I’m not”, I chucked. “He’s right by the way, James is a too common name.”

She laughed at it, so loud and clearly, it made some clients turning to our table.

“Sorry”, she said, drying away the tears from her eyes. “It’s just, no one ever agrees with my dad, especially not my boyfriends. They were all afraid of him. But, my father is just a big bear, you have nothing to fear if he likes you.”

She took another bite of food.

“Those are absolutely delicious !”, she swallowed, “So where were we ? Oh yeah, you wanted to know about me. Well, I’m twenty-five years old, I was born at Salem Center, Westchester County, my uncles have a manor there. My mother finished her pregnancy there. Her name was Kayla and she was an artist. Since the beginning she knew she was sick, a cancer, a violent one. She knew that she was going to die. She was three months pregnant with me when she knew she wouldn’t make it if she wasn’t cured. She had to choose between chemotherapy or me, and she chose me. She chose me because she had a miscarriage a year before, and she thought she would never had another baby. I was my parents’ miracle. My father begged my mother to get cured, she refused. The doctors said she could finish her pregnancy, but, after, there were only a tiny hope that she could be cured because the cancer would have been too advanced after my birth, and it would be too late. As my dad was away for a pretty long time, he told her to go to my uncle Charles and Erik’s home, it’s a big manor uncle Charles inherited from his father. After my birth, my mother went back to the hospital, she was attentively followed-up care while I was inside of her belly, but it was too late, as the doctors said. They told her she had six months left, and she better enjoy them and her newborn. My father went back for my birth, when she told him, he asked for a year of permission, he explained the army, and they let him take that year. My mom passed five months later instead of six. Dad stayed at uncle Charles’ with me until he had to go back to work. He asked uncle Charles and uncle Erik if I could stay with them while he was on duty, to avoid me to move every time, and know that I was somewhere safe, having a normal life. So I lived with my uncles and dad came back each time he could. I had a happy life, and they told me a lot about my mom. They signed me up for ballet at six when I asked them and I dance ever since. What about you ?”

“Me, comparing to you, my life is rather boring. Also, twenty-five. Born, raised and lived all my life in Brooklyn. I have five sisters, my mother is a school teacher and my father is a caterer. My sister Rebecca works with him, she’s going to take the business over when dad retires. As you already know, Steve is my best friend, we grew up together, decided to go to the army together and there, we met Sam. Steve’s way is already all choose, he’s going to be an art teacher, but I don’t know yet what I’m gonna do. I chose the army because I didn’t know what to do after high school. We signed up and that fucking country was at war. I’ve seen so many things, horrible things.”

“How long left ?”

“Two years and a half, and I’m gonna be a free man”, I smiled to her, and she smiled back.

We continued to speak through dinner and then, we walk in the sweet beginning of the spring. After an hour or so, we reached her apartment block. She fumbled into her purse to find her keys.

“I’ve spent an amazing evening, thank you, Bucky”, she put herself on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.

I watched her pass the door of her building, a goofy smile on my lips, my hand touching my skin where her lips were merely seconds before. I started to walk, jumping happily on my way back home. Then, after that night came some other dates, first kiss, first time, moving together, meeting Logan.

“Relax Buck, everything is gonna be alright”, Y/N said, smoothing my shirt.

“I don’t know doll, with the portrait you made me about your father, I think I have many reasons to be afraid of him.”

“Bucky, you make me happy, I’m sure that he’s going to be happy for me. I’m his only child and all he wants is my happiness”, she stated, leaning her forehead against mine. “Don’t you worry”, she pecked my nose and turned back to the meal she was preparing.

“You’re the best baby”, I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my nose in her hair.

Thirty minutes later, a tall man with brown hair and hazel eyes, wearing blue jeans and a leather jack, was standing in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“Ya must be James”, he stated with a drawling voice.

“Yes, sir. But you can call me Bucky”, I told him, holding out my hand.

“Where’s my girl ?”

“She’s in the kitchen, finishing dessert. But please, come in.”

I moved aside to let him enter the apartment. He stepped in and took a look around. His eyes fell on my uniform that was hanging on a coat rack.

“So you’re in the army.”

“Yes sir. 107th. I’m going back in the field in a week.”

“Be careful there kid. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Dad !”, Y/N’s voice came from the kitchen’s doorway.

“Hey bug”, he said turning towards her to hold her in his arms. “Nice place you have here.”

“Thanks. I hope you’re hungry, dinner’s ready”, she smiled up at him, while she showed him his seat around the table.

It turned out that Logan was very nice behind his bear behavior, just a man who cares a lot about his only daughter’s well-being. He left shaking my hand, saying that it was nice to meet me and to be careful on the field. He kissed Y/N’s forehead, and left, telling her that she had made a great choice.

The next week, Y/N and Peggy came with Steve and I to take us to the military base from where we were supposed to leave.

“Be careful”, she whispered, “come back to me. Don’t do stupid things there, I beg you.”

“Don’t worry doll, I will”, I murmured back. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I lent to kiss her soft lips before taking her into my arms, silent tears falling from her eyes. Next to us, Steve and Peggy were also saying goodbye to each other, Peggy was crying her eyes out, begging Steve to not be reckless this time. When it was finally time, we left the girls and headed to our plane.

We came and go for the next two years without any accident, our missions went well, until that bloody day, a little more than six months before the end of my duties. It was supposed to be a recon mission, just a fucking recon mission. I was walking, gazing all around me and then, there were screams, a searing pain, and everything went black. When I opened my eyes, everything around me was white, I was lying in a hospital bed, when I turned my head, Steve was there, half-asleep in a chair. A nurse entered the room.

“Glad to see that you’re awake Sergeant Barnes”, she softy said. “I’m gonna call the doctor for him to come and see you.”

She shook Steve up before exiting the room, telling him that she was going to come back with the doctor.

“Shit man, you frightened us !”, Steve exclaimed. “We thought you’d never wake up. You remained unconscious for almost a month ! How do you feel ?”

“A little numb, but I think everything is alright”, I answered him. “Did someone call my parents and Y/N too ?”

“I did, and they were bloody worried. Buck”, he said after a pregnant pause, “I don’t know how to say that to you, because you clearly didn’t realize it yet but… Because of the bomb that exploded next to you that day, the doctors had to… The doctors had… The doctors had to amputate your left arm Buck, I’m… I’m sorry”, he stuttered.

“What ?!”, I turned my head to my left side and all I saw was an empty place where my left arm usually stand. There’s nothing there, just a white sheet and a bandage around what’s left of my shoulder. “Have you told anyone ?”, I questioned, clenching my teeth.

“No, I swear. I thought this wasn’t my place to do it. I just gave them news, I thought you rather say it to them yourself. I’m gonna call and say that you’re awake.”

With that, he exited the room. I leaned back on my pillows, sighing heavily. How was I going to tell my folks about it, how would they take it. And Y/N, oh god, she’s never going to stay with me, which sane girl would stay with a cripple ? I hadn’t the time to think about it because the nurse came back with another woman who was certainly the said-doctor.

“Glad to see that you’re back to us, Sergeant Barnes. I’m doctor Helen Cho, from the US Army”, she introduced herself. “I’m gonna examine your arm, I need to see how the wound heals”, she lifted my sleeve and removed the bandage from the stump. “It’s really clear and it seems to heal well. I’ll have to take a look at the scars on your chest too. That bomb hit you pretty badly.”

The nurse helped her to remove the hospital gown and I saw what lied underneath.

“This is really good”, Doctor Cho said, while looking closely. “You’re healing really well. You’re going back home really soon. I managed to make you enter a program I’m supervising, it’s a program which will give you a prosthetic arm. Did you call your family back there to say you were awake ? Your girlfriend ?”

“My friend, Captain Steve Rogers, is calling them right now. How do you know that I have a girlfriend ?”, I asked, confused.

“You said a girl’s name, Y/N, during your sleep once when I came and check on you, Captain Rogers said she was your girlfriend. She’s gonna be relieved when she’ll know that you’re awake and fine.”

“Yeah, I’m really fine, I’m missing an arm, but I’m fine…”, I mumbled.

“Don’t worry Sergeant, as soon as you have a foot on the US soil, you’ll be taken care of my program and given a brand-new arm and your life will be as it was before, except that you’ll be off the army. Congratulations Sergeant Barnes, that wound makes a free man of you. Rest a little and in less than a week, you’ll be back home.”

With those words, she left the room, the nurse on her heels.

She didn’t lie, four days later, I was on a plane, on the way back home, Steve next to me. I was wearing a loose hoodie to hide my stump. During the time I was in the military hospital my hair grew and so did my stubble. I’m unrecognizable, I don’t look like the man that left anymore. I’m someone else. I’ve seen so much during those last few months, in addition of my missing arm, and I wasn’t a fool, I knew at the moment that the only thing that made me sleep well were the medications I took for my injuries. When the plane landed, I asked Steve if we could wait to be the last to go out, I didn’t want to blend in with the crowd, I wanted to go outside, quietly, without anyone to look at me. He accepted and asked one of the air hostess if it was possible. She answered that it was, and we looked at the plane becoming slowly empty.

“Ready ?”, Steve asked when every soul were out.

“What if I say no, will I be allowed to stay here forever ?”

“I don’t think so Buck. It’s your decision. But I know a bunch of people that would be disappointed and worrier if you don’t get your ass out of that plane. One of them especially”, he said.

“Y/N”, I whispered.

“Y/N indeed”, he repeated. “I know your folks are impatient to see you too. Your mom says it’s not good for you to be alone and withdrawn. She says no one is going to let you down.”

Steve got up and thanked the air hostess before I did too and put my hood on my head, nodding to the girl who sadly smiled at me. When we passed the terminal door, my whole family, plus Peggy, Y/N and Logan stood there. My father got my luggage back, and he was standing aside with Logan. Steve passed by me and ran to Peggy and took her in his arms, before kissing her lips passionately.

“I missed you, I missed you so much”, she said, between kisses.

I paused before continuing to walk, my backpack on my right shoulder, hanging from my back. I looked around and saw my family. In the middle of the way, Y/N was standing there, still, tears in her eyes. I hesitated, but she didn’t, she started to walk straight to me and suddenly ran towards me, she threw her arms around my neck and I managed to stay steady despite our two weights. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and cried.

“I was so afraid that you didn’t come back.”

“I’m here now.”

“And I’m never gonna let you go again.”

I put her down on the ground and kissed her softly. I took her hand and we walked to mt family. My sisters and mother were crying too, my father just hugged me and Logan just nodded, but when I saw his eyes that he has been worried too, maybe more for his daughter than for me, but still worried.

During the next month, I received the papers from doctor Cho’s program and even if I wasn’t really into it, Y/N insisted for me to have that intervention and take advantage of the free program, even if it was only at it’s beginning. I had physical tests, psychological ones too, the doctors said I better find a shrink in New York. My sleep was less good without the med, but I figured it out that having my girlfriend’s hot body sleeping next to me helped soothe me, despite the nightmares. After another month of test and appointment at the therapist, I was admitted in the program. Y/N took her vacations and came with me and in less time than I realized, I had a brand-new arm, metal one. I wasn’t armless anymore, but still so damaged.

After that, our lives went back to normal. I get used to my new arm, went to the shrink three times a week, started to work as a geography teacher in a junior high. And then there we were, five months ago.

One night after work, I was looking at the little velvet black box, containing a beautiful engagement right, I bought a few days before, in secret, that was hiding in my work backpack. I planned to ask Y/N to marry me Saturday night, I booked a table at the restaurant where we had our first date, and ordered for that night all her favorite meals. I heard the door opening, earlier than usual, and I ran to hide the box in my stuff.

“Hey doll, you’re here earlier tonight”, I said, going to her and kissing her lips. “You look sick and tired.”

“I felt bad today during the rehearsal. I have been nauseous, I wanted to throw up and I even faint. And you know Katie, she insisted for me to see a doctor, so she sent me to the hospital with Sharon and there they asked me a bunch of questions, take a sample of blood and did a test.”

“What’s going on ? Nothing serious ? Please, tell me, you’re stressing me right now doll.”

“I’m pregnant James”, she softly answered.

“Oh so that’s… What ?! Like… Like really ? We’re pregnant ?! We’re having a baby ?!”

“Yes, James we’re having a baby.”

“Oh my god, I love you so much”, I took her in my arms and started spinning with her in my arms. “Wait, I’m… I’m coming back !”

I put her down and ran to the bedroom, to pick up the ring in the pocket of my jacket. I came back in the room as fast as I left. Once in front of her, I put one knee down and look up to her, in those beautiful Y/E/C eyes.

“Y/N”, I breathed heavily, “for five years now you’re illuminating my life, I never thought that I would fall in love so quickly of someone who would take all of me, even after I lost an arm and had night terrors and PTSD, but you’re still here, and now, we have a little one on the way. I was supposed to do this on Saturday night but, I think I can’t wait, so… Y/N Howlett, will you do the honor of becoming my wife ?”

“Yes, yes, a thousand time yes !!!”, she nearly screamed knocking me down on the floor, peppering my face with kisses.

After that, we had a quiet night, having dinner and cuddling on the couch, absentmindedly watching TV.

“What do you think about Kayla if it’s a girl”, I stated, rubbing her not yet showing baby bump with my right hand.

“Kayla ? As my mom ?”, she asked.

“Yeah, as your mom”, I answered tightening my grip around her. “That would be a tribute to her. Except if your dad doesn’t agree with it.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate”, she answered, pecking the top of my nose.

The next day, we threw a little party with our respective parents and close friends, to announce them the two news. Everyone congratulated us, Logan a little smile dancing on his lips, he seems so proud and happy.

And then, it happened, four days ago, I don’t really know how it happened. I had trouble sleeping. I was turning over and over again. Suddenly, I felt a soft hand on my arm and someone was shaking me.

“Bucky, wake up. Baby, wake up, it’s just a bad dream. Nothing is real, it’s a nightmare. Bucky baby wake up”, Y/N’s voice was trying to sooth me.

I don’t know how it happened, but my left hand grabbed her throat and my fingers closed in on her skin.

“Bucky, stop it, it’s me”, she tried to say out of breath, but I didn’t hear her, still in my nightmare.

Her hands tried to push me away, but she didn’t manage to, I’m too strong and heavy.

“Bucky please”, she whispered one last time before her strength gave up.

My eyes shot up open and I saw her, barely breathing.

“Y/N, doll, say something.”

I shook her but she didn’t answer. Grabbing my phone, I called 911.

“911, what’s your emergency ?”

“I’m James Barnes, and I live at the 384 Bridge Street. It’s my fiancée, she… I had a crisis during my sleep and I strangled her. It… It was an accident, I’m a veteran and I have a PTSD, I didn’t know what I was doing. I…”

“Sir, sir, calm down”, the woman on the other side said. “Is she breathing ?”

“Yes, but, hardly”, I answered, tears falling from my eyes.

“Don’t worry mister Barnes, an ambulance is on its way to your home.”

I don’t know how much time passed in between the moment I hang up and the moment someone knocked the door. Two ambulance men dressed in their white uniforms came in with a stretcher. I showed them the way to the bedroom, and they took Y/N with them to the nearest hospital and let me sit next to her in the ambulance.

Once at the hospital, she was taken in charge by a doctor named Bruce Banner. He treated Y/N and intubated her to help the air in her lungs, saying the tube was there to help her breath normally again and that he would remove it in one or two days because she would be able to breathe by herself. He asked me how it happened, and I explained him everything.

“Don’t worry, this is not your fault mister Barnes. I know what PTSD is. I’ve treated many patients having it, my best friend was kidnapped by terrorists, and he has it too. I perfectly understand that it’s not your fault, James”, he said with a paternalistic tone, putting his hand on my shoulder, “I know it’s not. Did you let her family know ?”

“Her father, I… I have to call him”, I answered, remembering that I didn’t tell Logan yet, I was so panicked that I completely forgot about telling him that his only daughter was at the hospital, and moreover that she was because of me.

“Give me his number, I’m gonna call him. We transferred miss Howlett in her room, just go with her.”

I complied, I had nothing else to do after all. I must have fall asleep holding Y/N’s hand, because the next thing I remember is someone shaking me. When I opened my eyes and raised my head, Logan was standing there rage deforming his features.

“What happened”, he growled. “I wanna know, right here, right now what happened”, he demanded.

Without giving me a second to answer, he caught me by my collar and lifted me up.

“It’s an accident, I swear. I had a nightmare Logan. And you more than anyone must know what a PTSD is.”

He let me go, almost regretting his behavior.

“I’m sorry, and you’re right, I indeed know what is it.”

He sat on the other side of the bed, taking his daughter’s other hand and started waiting with me.

The next day, doctor Banner came and removed the intubation, saying Y/N was out of danger and that she would wake up, it was only a matter of days.

And that’s how it led to today and me keeping bringing all of this up. Logan left a few minutes ago to breathe some fresh air, and he’s probably smoking a cigar right now and Steve came to have some news. I’ve been thinking about what to do and already made up my mind.

“I’m gonna leave her as soon as she’s awake.”

“You can’t do that Buck, she loves you. She loves you more than anything in that world”, Steve states, his gaze traveling from Y/N’s motionless form to me.

“A monster like me doesn’t deserve to be loved”, I say calmly.

“Do you hear yourself ? Do you really think that if you really were a monster she would agree to marry you ? Do you really think that she would have want to have a baby with you ? Jeez, Bucky, how can you be so stupid ?!”

“I ruin everything I touch. How could she even thought that I was or could be the prince she dreamed of.”

“This is so stupid Buck, you’re not gonna abandon her and your baby to come. How do you think she’s gonna react when you’re going to tell her that you leave her ?”

“I’m gonna leave before she wakes up”, I end the conversation before Steve can say something else.

By the end of the day, Logan leaves again after telling me that he will come back tomorrow. That’s the moment I have to leave, tonight, while nobody else is here. It’s cruel, but it’s gonna be crueler if I stay and put Y/N in danger again and our baby too. It might seem selfish but I have to. I go down in the hospital shop, buy a card and flowers. I write my goodbyes on the card and put it next to her bed.

“I’m sorry my love, but I have to do this”, I say, putting down a kiss on her forehead, and rubbing her baby bump where the baby kicks when my hand touches the little bulge it makes.

“James, James”, Y/N’s voice came like a croak.

“Listen to me doll. I’m gonna let you go, I better let you go. I better set you free and give you up to find the prince you thought I was.”

Without saying another word and looking one last time, I go through the door and walk towards the hospital’s exit, and disappear into the night.

[laufire]

list ten of favorite songs by ten favorite artists.

I was tagged by @dylanobrienisbatman and @boomheda (ty!!).

The artists are in alphabetical order to make things easier for myself xD. I also felt like c&p some lyrics because Why Not (this is NOT part of the tag game, you can skip it, I was just feeling like talking about music today xDD).

Amy Winehouse - “Tears Dry On Their Own”

So we are history / The shadow covers me / The sky above ablaze that only lovers see

Dessa - “Dixon’s Girl”

Well I heard fro mthe rest of the world you’re in trouble / Bad news moves like fire that you fight on the phone / And I’m too far away, my well-wishing can’t touch you / But I think of you still more than you might suppose

Fiona Apple - “Fast as You Can”

I let the beast in too soon / I don't know how to live without my hand on his throat / I fight him always and still / Oh darling, it's so sweet / You think you know how crazy / How crazy I am / You say you don't spook easy / You won't go / But I know / And I pray that you will

Florence + The Machine - “All This And Heaven Too”

Words were never so useful / So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Janelle Monáe - “Make Me Feel”

Baby, don’t make me spell it out for you / All of the feelings that I’ve got for you / Can’t be explained, but I can try for you / Yeah, baby, don’t make me spell it out for you

Joaquín Sabina - “Contigo”

Lo que yo quiere, corazón cobarde / Es que mueras por mí / Y morirme contigo si te matas / Y matarme contigo si te mueres / Porque el amor cuando no muera mata / Porque amores que matan nunca mueren

AKA What I want, cowardly heart / Is for you to die for me / And to die with you if you kill me / And to kill myself with you if you die / Because love that doesn’t die, kills / Because loves that kill never die

Nina Simone - “Ain’t Got No / I Got Life”

I’ve got the life / And I’m gonna keep it / I’ve got the life / And nobody’s gonna take it away / I’ve got the life

Peggy Seeger - “Space Girl”

My mama told me I should never venture into space / But I did, I did, I did. / She said no Terran girl could trust the Martian race / But I did, I did, I did. / A rocket pilot asked me on a voyage to go / And I was so romantic I just couldn’t say no / That he was just a servo robot how was I to know? / So I did, I did, I did

Queen - “I Want It All”

I’m a man with a one track mind / So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me) / Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies / So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all / And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all

The Pretty Reckless - “Since You’re Gone”

Since you been gone / My life has moved along quite nicely actually

-

And as a bonus I’m adding a list of my favourite composers because I was struggling NOT to put them on the list and still wanted to keep those above xD

Antonio Vivaldi - “Winter”

Christophe Beck - “Close Your Eyes”

Clint Mansell’s - “A New Swan Queen”

Ennio Morricone - “Love In The Morning”

Georges Bizet - “Carmen”

Hans Zimmer + Junkie XL - “The Red Capes Are Coming” (okay, so it’s a collaboration, but seriously, I liked their combined soundtrack more than anything else the two of them have ever done separatedly LOL).

Lolita Ritmanis - “Catwoman: Chase Me” (Batcat fans pls WATCH THE VIDEO)

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”

Shirley Walker - “Mask Of The Phantasm Theme”

Teresa Carreño - “Mi Teresita”

Shout-out to Bear McCreary for the Black Sails’ theme, but I need to listen to more stuff of his to decide whether he dethrones some of the above.

Tagging: @nectargrapes @grapecaseschoices @xxlionheartedgirlxx @wearing-tearing @starry-sky-stuff @edomeilair @habibialkaysani @finnicks @casa-neurotica @lvcilla​ and anyone else who’s up for it ^-^