#pwnpd you deserve all the love

[anti-endo-safe-space]

So, we're making this post because we've found out we've had a few "NPD abuse is truth!!" people who have interacted. I'll be blunt. We don't want you here.

NPD is not abusive. Narcissistic traits are not abusive. If we see one more person trying to use malignant narcissism as it being abusive then we're going to lose our shit. Stop making an already stigmatized disorder WORSE.

I'm not invalidating anyone's trauma. I hear you and I believe you, but the one thing I will do is correct. It is not NPD abuse is or narc abuse (using narc abuse as we do have NPD, if your not a pwNPD then please do not), or even malignant narcissism abuse, it's verbal/mental/emotional/physical whatever type it is abuse. Narc abuse is NOT a real thing.

Yes, there are abusive pwNPD. They aren't abusive because they have have NPD. They're just abusive. This whole belief on it is trying to divide us into "good narcissists" and "bad narcissists" where the good ones shut up and let people talk about how NPD is abusive and keep mouths closed and pretend to have empathy. The "bad" ones speak out against people's blatant ableism (which idgaf if you have a mental disorder as well, that does NOT stop you from being ableist), don't care about pretending empathy and are just themselves. What happened to not trying to divide a community already under attack all the fucking time?

To sum up a long ass message, if you believe in any form of narcissist abuse then do not interact here. Your not welcome, we don't want you, we don't even want to think of you here. Because in this situation, if any of us would be abusive, it'd be you who push that narrative in your strive to "educate" and instead ruin people for something out of their fucking control.

[gloriousmonsters]

dsm really is like well about every other PD is determined by abuse, neglect, poor relationships and bad experiences as a child, and trauma. narcissistic personality disorder is largely defined by a desperate terrified need to never seem weak or like a failure and hunger for praise and approval. who tf knows what causes it tho

[orange-orchard-system]

"Leave people and their personal beliefs alone if they don't harm anyone" also applies to narcissists/pwNPD who feel good about themselves in grandiose ways btw. You don't need to "humble" them. You don't need to "reality check" them or "bring them down to earth" because they think and process the world in ways you don't like. You don't need to be an asshole to someone for how their brain works, especially when they're not actively treating you poorly due to it. (In fact, even in those cases, you could stand to show a little compassion, because pwNPD don't always realize when something they say is hurtful or comes off as rude; if you can understand this when someone is autistic, or when someone doesn't have any condition at all, you can understand it when someone has NPD.) If someone else's brain works differently than yours, that's not a reason to be a jerk to them, and it's not a reason to always treat everything in their lives with bad faith. Sorry not sorry, stop acting like someone who copes with rejection or rudeness by telling themselves that whoever hurt them doesn't deserve their time or energy with a side of "I'm actually a great person and way better than them" is personally attacking you. Stop acting like someone who takes care of their mental health through positive affirmation that you personally wouldn't find useful is kicking puppies. Narcissists don't need your "concern" when they're just living their lives. pwNPD don't need to be "made normal" or "corrected" for expressing themselves in ways that hurt fucking no one. A neurodivergent person having confidence and self-esteem is not a crime you need to discourage. Let disabled people love themselves in peace. Leave people and their personal beliefs alone if they don't harm anyone – including narcissists/pwNPD.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Not pwnpd but I follow this blog and comment a lot because I want to learn about npd and help people here.

I just have to wonder what narc abuse believers think when they read this blog. When ever I read this blog I just think "wow this is such a human experience" and "this person is so much like me without having the same disorders". I think this blog is very humanizing for this disorder. It takes away all the "scary" stigma stereotypes and shows the real human experiences you all go through.

I don't know how anyone could read this blog with out thinking twice about their stance on narc abuse.

I love you all. You are all so valid and so human (or not if you don't identify as human! Whatever floats your boat)💜

honestly it's funny you say that, because i have actually gotten a hate anon from a narc abuse believer who said they went through this blog initially trying to see pwnpd outside of the stigma and came out of it even more affirmed that we deserve the stigma. i think ultimately a lot of the problem stems from them not knowing how to be normal or supportive of people who have symptoms and trauma responses that aren't "pretty" and "easy to deal with."

[loroliyesplaything]

I want to give pwNPD and BPD, HPD, ASPD all the love. virtual hugs. you guys deserve it. every day you're bombarded with ppl who would rather abuse you and use you as a scapegoat for the entire world's problems than actually solve any problems. the shit people say about you on the daily is horrifying. may you find the strength to keep going in spite of it.

[hardware-sparks]

ACTUALLY hope all narcissists and pwNPD have a good day. you deserve it I love you <3

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cw: anti-NPD ableism, fictional child death, gore.]

you know. i can't believe it didn't quite click for me until now, but i knew there was a piece of the ableism puzzle missing with ivan, and i just realized that along with the audhd/dyslexia stuff he is a really violently hateful depiction of NPD.

pwNPD are all evil, stupid abusers who will only ever accomplish anything by riding others' coattails; anyone who believes they have worth or deserve love only thinks that because they're fooling themselves and denying reality, at the expense of the reasonable people who actually deserve the love and approval they're hogging; it's funny, satisfying, and their just deserts to take them down a peg by intentionally insulting and humiliating them; and you should cheer for their gruesome, frankly dehumanizing deaths. very awesome and cool

[thepisserrrrrr]

yes, pwNPD can be abusive people, but that is NOT NPD abuse. that is emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse. they are not abusive because they have NPD. they are abusive because they are a shitty person.

pwNPD are not abusive people, that isnt fair to the countless pwNPD who arent abusive because the majority isnt.

same goes for any cluster b personality disorder. or any personality disorders at all. i love all of you and you dont deserve the stigma surrounding these disorders

What a good day to remember that "narcissistic abuse" doesn't fucking exist, people with NPD aren't ticking time bombs with Evil Abuser Disorder, and neurodivergent people aren't the goddamn bogeyman.

[egopathic]

hi!!! apologies if this is a rude question, but would you by any chance have any good sources that talk abt portraying NPD or someone who has it abt their experiences w/ it or anything like that? i am writing a character w/ NPD and am trying to learn as much as i can about it so that i can portray them properly. not to mention how hard it is to find unbiased, non-ableist sources (that aren't just listing the symptoms) just to get more knowledge abt it. i am very very sorry if this is rude, i'm not entirely sure on the etiquette of asking ppl stuff like this!

anyway, if you can't answer or don't want to that's totally fine! i figured id shoot my shot but i understand if you don't wanna answer or anything. i hope you have a good day! i love your blog and you deserve good things.

hey this isn’t a rude question at all! it’s interesting that you want to write a fully fleshed out character with NPD!

i don’t know if i have any resources, but honestly what you’re doing seems about right. talking to pwNPD about their own experiences/learning how to spot sanism directed towards us/not relying on articles by egotypicals are all a great way to acquaint yourself with the real and way less evil lives of narcissists.

anyways, does anyone else have anything they can point this anon towards?

[whump-or-whatever]

(CW: Gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, ableism against people with personality disorders (NPD), etc.) (Also, this is a bit of a long ask. But I just have so many ideas, sorryyyy.) BPD whump anon again. I also have NPD traits/symptoms (narcissistic personality disorder), and I can definitely get with the idea of a whumpee who has NPD who constantly needs attention and tries to always make themselves feel like they're the best, the smartest, and the most talented. They try to make it a competition with other whumpees that they can handle the torture the most, but it's just a way to cope with the fact they feel so worthless and Whumper is just the absolute worst. Whumper constantly hypes Whumpee up as a cruel way, knowing Whumpee needs reinforcement validation to feel safe and good about themselves. Whumpee always fantasizes about being super powerful and the best/strongest, so they can get out of this painful situation and protect themselves. But then, Whumper ends up intentionally causing Whumpee to have NPD crashes as a way to make them feel awful. Whumper intentionally makes it hard for Whumpee to be able to daydream as a way to cope with the torture they go through. Whenever Whumpee is distressed and reacts with anger to their situation, Whumper just tortures them and tells them that their needs and expectations don't matter. This just hurts Whumpee so damn much, they have no idea how to cope with this except by internally telling themselves how 'amazing' they are when in reality they just feel so worthless. Idk, just a Whumper playing with a person's self-esteem and constantly confusing their self-esteem and ego as a form of torture. Whumpee with NPD may struggle to trust anyone or open up abt what they want with Whumper, in fear they will be rejected. Whumpee hates being rejected. Whumpee can feel their lungs burn and ache whenever they're being or feeling rejected. They try to tell themselves they're special, and they feel that they are. They tell themselves they will leave this hellhole, and they can only depend on themselves. That they're the best. But... we all know, Whumpee is just miserable. Extra miserable too, because NPD is so heavily demonized and stigmatized... and Whumper constantly justifies the torture and abuse they put Whumpee through because they have NPD. Whumpee angry with the ableism, bites back. But at one point, too afraid to really try and prove Whumper wrong just... accepts that they will always be "abusive" and "deserve" the abuse they're going through. It's just what they deserve, even tho they didn't necessarily do a lot of bad things in their life. Whumpee would do anything to protect themselves, even if it means having to control others or manipulate others. Whumper uses this to their advantage, constantly making Whumpee feel like crap for having unhealthy thought and behavioural patterns to protect themselves. They taunt them and say they can NEVER recover, even if they actually can. Whumpee just wants someone to admire them and love them for who they are, they just want to feel safe. That's all. But they end up believing they truly are a monster and that this IS what they deserve. So they get conditioned. After all, being the victim, the 'evil' victim will always make them more likeable. Cuz that's all they ever wanted, to be likeable, to have worth. :(

(You can add your own caretaker ideas, if you want. Tho friendly reminder to others in general, pwNPD (or any disorder tbh) aren't inherently abusive or manipulative or controlling. Some of us just do these things bc we don't necessarily know how to healthily communicate our needs without fear of us being manipulated or rejected. But tons of us work on our behaviours and crap with therapy, and work on replacing these behaviours and mindsets.)

More great ideas anon!!