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Please yall Please 🙏🏾 retire the freaky fics for a day and put some serious thought towards a mini series. I can't take the freaky onshots anymoreeee Please feed me some real food. I can't take it anymore. Like I love what yall are doing, but when I go for my daily dose of fan fics i want a lil more yk( Not saying people aren't writing sfw and fluff they are, i just see that there's a lot more smut, Not saying I avoid smut or hate it but sometimes I just want more substance, Ive been feeling like fan fiction has been oversaturated with smut the past couple years but didn't want to say anything). I am so thankful for the 2 sevika series I'm reading rn. Forgot the titles, but one is about a zombie apocalypse, and the other is kind of a slow burn, but one of the readers' legs is kind of messed up. " Why don't you write some yourself?" If you scroll down, you'll see. I've said this before, but heres the updated reason.. I write like shit, I would probably drop it after like 3 chapters, and I learned the hard way that I'm more for reader than a writer. I'm sure if I locked in, I could really do something, but I'm in Uni😔 so im locking in on these classes. I'm just begging you all to hear me out real quick
Here are 2 ideas
• Vi isn't just looking for powder after she gets out of prison but reader/oc ( Either they were dating before she got arrested or They had a complicated relationship maybe with feelings they couldn't explain, but they were close, you know something along those lines.) There's so much you can do with that and make it a series and even continue it into the second season. ( The relationship is rocky at first because they're both super traumatized, but they still love each other to a certain extent, so they kinda make it work. Then because they're traumatized. They keep making mistakes, yk the typical stuff keeps working, then not working. But Caitlyn isn't completely discarded, they also have a complicated relationship it doesn't have to be romantic, but it's a little interesting. But reader isn't a big fan of their relationship at all because Caitlyn is an inforcer ( Let's say reader also lost her parents to enforcers.) So she's having a really hard time with Caitlyn and vi's relationship. But it's not giving she's playing both of them, or she's dating both of them. Basically, everything is so complicated. But you can tell the reader and vi are gonna end up together at the end.
• This one kind of takes from the story of my oc x sevika story ( but I don't really give a shit I'm not writing about it anytime soon) Basically before all that bs happened with sevika losing her arm she had a fwb/fling/situationship going on, and it was kind of getting a little serious between them. But all the stress of the enforcers coming down ( We all watched the same show there's no need to explain) While all that is happening, they begin to slowly distance themselves from each other because of stress or whatever but then sevika loses her arm, and reader is all like "omg bae your arm why didn't you let me know, You could have died and I would have never known." And sevika is all like " Why should I have told you? I don't need your pity or anything. I would have let you know if I felt like you needed to know." And reader is all like "wtf is with this attitude, You know, you should have told me. I would have been there for you. What's going on right now?" ( By the way, reader isn't just some push over, she's a little sassy ( I love sassy reader so much) So she usually doesn't let savika talk to her any type of way) the story's basically building up trust with any other exploring a relationship and going through the events of season one together, and maybe even season 2.
That's all the ideas I have for right now.But you can't tell me that wasn't fire. If you thought it was fire and you wanna see what you could do with it, Tag me or talk about it with me, I would love to expand on everything.
Just feed me something other than smut fics(ngl ive been eating them but im just tired of it and want something new💀), and please, if you could be let it be a series IM BEGGING 😔😢😢
Sorry for any grammar mistakes
#vi x reader#arcane x reader#sevika x reader#sevika headcanon#vi headcanons#vi arcane#sevika arcane#vi fanfic#sevika fanfic#arcane fandom#league of lesbians#wlw#wlw happiness#vi fluff#caitvi x reader#violet arcane#arcane#lgbtq#sevika#sevika fluff#arcane fanfic
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Your addition about Tevinter fashion was so interesting that I can't help but ask (and my apologies if it was something you spoke about before but I missed) ��� what are your favorite bits of fashion details in Veilguard? Doesn't have to be just Tevinter :)
This is so sweet?? Thank you!! I'm honestly always about 0.5 seconds from rambling about this stuff at any given moment, but I rein it in mostly.
I've talked about Neve a little on here, mostly in the tags on other posts. This post by @icescrabblerjerky talks about Neve's fascinators and how they're inspired by old noir detectives, and I talked a bit in the tags about how her collar in that same outfit mimics the upturned trench-coat collar also associated with old-timey detectives (Sherlock is the most famous example I can think of). The outfit we first meet her in is also very much trench-coat-adjacent imo.
I will try not to go overboard here but !! Some of my fave other little details!
The Viper's hat! It's a tricorn-- always fun! BUT it works really well here, especially, because actual vipers have triangular-shaped heads? (I am not a snake expert and I believe there are exceptions? But generally) Also-- the little diamonds on the sides of the hat look like snake eyes? And the arrow-sort-of shape in the centre seems like it could be a nod to adders- which are a kind of viper. They have an arrow-like shape on the top of their head! Essentially, this man not only gave himself a cool nickname, but he is literally wearing the Thedas equivalent of a Batman outfit. He fully committed to the aesthetic, and I love him for that tbh.
Emmrich's coat is designed to mimic a ribcage! And not just here- this motif pops up in both of his Hero of the Veilguard armour sets, as well! I also noticed in his cosplay guide that this first outfit we see him in has a sort of waist-chain (more on that in a sec!!) with a gold tailbone that sits above where his real one would be?
And of course there are little skulls all over him, too. It's very reminiscent of the memento mori movement- 'remember you must die'. Historically, this was a way of coping with the inevitability of death in a world without a lot of the scientific advancement we have today. Death was a part of everyday life, even more so than it is for most of us today, but it was still scary. So people made art about it! And jewellery! And songs! As a way to cope with it all, and also sometimes as a way to remember lost loved ones. To have Emmrich, who is afraid of death, embrace this idea in his fashion is just... chef's kiss, honestly. Because it was always a way of trying to face death head-on? And acknowledge it, and make it hopefully feel a bit less terrifying.
Although Emmrich's overall style is very Victorian-inspired (the silhouette, the waistcoat, the chains etc.) a lot of his jewellery actually seems reminiscent of older memento mori pieces? There are some examples held by the V&A Museum that date back as far as the 16th Century that I could see him wearing. It's a really nice touch if that is indeed the inspo, because the Mourn Watch pride themselves as keepers of history. So to wear jewellery like this every day, an eclectic mix of time periods, all tied together by this single thread of remember you must die? It's so incredibly fitting for them!!
Also re. the waist-chain. I'm referring to it as that instead of a belt because to me it looks like the kind of thing you'd hang a pocket-watch on? The looping style is very similar. It's of course a lot bigger, but I think it might've influenced it?
This has gotten really long so I'll stop now, but please know there are a hundred little things I haven't even touched on! So much care was clearly put into each and every character's design, and it brings me so much joy!
#thank you so much for this !!! It's not often I get to mash 2 of my loves (video games & fashion history) together like this!!!#(and also Batman is in there too ig?)#I had fun with it :')#emmrich volkarin#the viper#veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#da:tv spoilers
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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Thinking about if Reala’s design and personality were partially inspired by heels in wrestling 🤔
He is an actual villain unlike heels but I know it’s a pretty common fan theory that before NiGHTS rebelled, they would take the “friendlier” role while collecting Ideya, befriending the visitors and helping them regain their Ideya, and then Reala comes in and Gets Them™, so he portrays a villain within their specific Ideya-collecting act (and I guess NiGHTS kind of does too once the overall plan is revealed but yk)
I was wondering why he was designed with muscles- it’s probably just to better distinguish him from NiGHTS’ daintier and more elegant design and establish him as an antagonist but I feel like he does that well enough even without muscles, so I thought this could be a cool explanation idk
#i guess i’ve never really seen muscles as an “evil” trait so they’ve always seemed kind of random on reala imo.. buff clown#i guess in canon he could just shapeshift to have them (or not have them) but i’ve always hc’d them as something wizeman designed him with#and i like the idea of him eventually coming to question and struggle with why he had to be the “scary one” in his and nights’ usual scheme#he likes how he looks and he can technically just change it but he doesn’t like how other people think of his appearance#nights scares based on actions and can control that while reala scares based on appearance and so he can’t like. turn that off#and he knows it still happens even after wizeman is gone :(#anyway i finished my paper so i can Talk About The Characters.. i should’ve prob put the hc stuff in a separate post#long post#also long tags shsjsn#ok one more: reala’s like “sometimes i wish i looked more like you” and nights just tells him “but who will open jars for me then :(”#nights into dreams#tagging this.. people need to Know#reala
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hai!!!!
i know you've already confirmed doing minor what ifs, but have you ever planned or thought of doing a longer one for a happy ending?
(im sorry for asking but these two make me mentally ill in the best way posible. )
The what ifs will be pretty well sized so hopefully they'll scratch the itch for y'all. My goal with the ending is also to make it kind of optimistic to empower other folks who want to write fanfic to give it a shot and make their own content too. I just love the idea of being able to make a positive impact with this story and to embolden others to let their own creativity run free. Plus I'd be cheering if there was a list of "works inspired by" that could sit at the end of the story when it's finished. That way the story (that a lot of people seem to really dig) can live on in everyone's interpretations of it!
#I'm happy just to put my own interpretation out there and im extra happy that ppl like it#but in the ever growing world of Billford i want my interpretation to be just one of many#im so excited to see everyone make their own nuanced take on the pairing#and while i can see ppl are enjoying the fic its never meant to be any authority on how folks look at the pairing#its just one lens through which it gets examined#i am super keen to read other billford fics when this fic is done too#as i have abstained from reading other fics since someone got it into their head to accuse me of plagiarism#i know how serious plagiarism is and i debunked the claims it was probably just a younger author being possessive of the characters#and jealous of the attention being drawn away from their story when my fic was starting up#but the whole accusation really jarred me so i haven't read any other billford while writing my fic#i am so excited to get to pour through the other stories in the tag when this fic is done#you have no idea how exciting the prospect is#and since the what ifs will all be contained within my fics universe i should be fine to start reading fics once kmky finishes#i am so keen to see what other people have written so best believe I'll be asking for fic recs haha#but if other people write stuff inspired by the fic i will be there cheering you on!!#kind of a long ramble in the tags but im just so excited about the prospect of ppl writing their own stuff#this is blanket permission for anyone whos read the fic and wanted to write something for it btw#and pls link it on ao3 if you do so i can show it to everyone!!
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👉👈 so @silverskye13 i saw this and..............
had to make an aron helsmet!!!!!! this was really hecking fun to think about actually like what she'd be like n design (which. is a poke at the rp server she was from actually) and also made me sit down and think more on my other minecraft ocs i have sittin around and why they ended up getting redesigns lkdsfh BUT YEAH i!!!!!!!! aron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#what do i. tag this as. sdklfjslk#i mean ig since it's like??? she's a concept from it i should???#redstone and skulk#aron#nora#<-- adding in that tag now that she's named#a lotta the stuff aron goes through in her character arc in the rps has to do with like. she has her stuff that she's comfortable doing#and stuff that she's not#and after trying and trying and trying to go outside her comfort zone and help ppl around her in a Better Way#feels like she's just not good at it and should give up and go back to what she was doing before#-only to find out through A Lot Of Events that no she actually was learning even tho she didn't realize it and she was getting better#and she was actually helping#and also. it was. kind of impossible for her to go back anyway. jlsdf.#sO i thought her helsmet would be more of the 'stick with what i know and don't leave that' kinda thing!!!#leaning into her minecraft roots; she was originally a redstoner/demolitionist (i mean she's still a demo but)#so her helsmet would- if following that idea- be Really Hecking Good at redstone#but only stick to redstone bc No I'm Not Trying Anything Else#also aron had a lot of problems trusting people she shouldn't and it really bit her back so there's that aspect too!!!#...also is it just me or does this pic feel very Camish like i don't know what it is about the style bc i tried smth different#and when i finished i looked at it and went 'huh. this looks like camish drew it.'#I WILL ALSO!! make more!! of my other minecrafters!!! i just underestimated how much thought i would be putting into making helsmets sdlkfj#but they are bouncing around in my brain!!! and i will draw them once i can get them to stay still long enough to realize what they are!!!
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#long talk in tags incoming i guess#i don't understand why people keep following me when everything i do is complaining lately#and not about dnp per se. but about how the work is done and how their team *coughs* martyn *coughs* is handling stuff#i'm just looking at all this mess and i can't agree with basically anything#everything goes against my beliefs when it comes to work organisation. customer focus and etc.#and i'm trying SO hard to mildly help for free. and i'm just getting ignored. but that's like.. basic fixing and shit#any decent company would do it and say thank you for noticing and letting us know#but not irl merch lmao#and it all feels and looks like a massive joke#and i'm so so tired to basically pay for existence of this mess#i'm rethinking a lot of tour related decisions i made. and i know the reason i made them was about travelling more than the show itself#so i don't completely regret it#i'm just so tired of being spat in the face (figuratively speaking) over and over again#and tired of no one taking their job seriously ffs#neither martyn nor dnp nor their fucking editors#and i'm doing all that not for attention or whatever. but because I really care for the words to be correct and for the fucking text..#.. to be in the middle. like idc about the credit or WHO i need to ask for it to be fixed. i just want it to be fixed#so it looks good and how it should look#like. it's not that hard to put a little care into the things you do and getting paid for#I don't understand how it became so normalized. how being a bad manager is okay if you work with a fanbase and you're a 'small company'#a small company who has more than enough money to hire people to check things btw. if only anyone cared#i'm just so so tired of caring. because apparently it's not something everyone else does.#and i can let it slide when it comes to dnp. they are not being literally hired to do it. but others..... yeah#today was a moment when i thought 'that's a perfect opportunity to leave. enough.'#but the tour is in 1.5 months and i have tickets so i can't leave lmao#what kind of joke that is? oh and i know i'm fully responsible for this mild breakdown#personal
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i hate mfers that keep mischaracterizing river just because his storyline got fucked over, which fucked over his romance too.
especially people complaining that he's flirty even when you're taken, but that's an issue with literally ALL the romances.
#'he's creepy and pushy!!!' girl i had to deal with panam putting her legs on my v and flirting with him even though he's gay#yet i dont see anybody complain about her#like both romances flirt with you in their romance starting missions bc theyre letting you romance them both if you want#im not sure if its just all talk about river originally being in takemuras place but you can tell stuff got cut or rewritten a LOT#both him and kerry kind of feel like they lack content in comparison to female romances#which is probably bc they feel too far removed from the main story#ive seen people getting so upset that river looked up a recipe for the dinner mission but i thought it was SO cute#like his romance is soooo cute :((#the main complaint i have aside from him not having enough missions between his nephew storyline and the romance-#-is that there's not enough differences between his lines with fem v vs male v#like on my first playthrough i tried to kiss him on the damn watertower bc i thought he was flirting with me TvT#his personality has nothing to do with the fact that they didnt put enough missions in his storyline#or the fact that ALL THE ROMANCES continue to flirt with you even if youre taken#kwyoz.txt#kwyoz.rambles#cyberpunk rambles#i dont wanna throw this in main tags#so im sorry if it ends up in them anyways lmfao#im just so annoyed how anytime people talk good about river theres people coming in strictly to shit talk him#like bruhhh#anyways imo i think river shouldve been a bi romance and they shouldve had a different straight woman romance#i would say takemura shouldve been the straight woman romance instead but then id be depressed that i cant romance him as a man#anyways#enough rambling
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bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP
I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING
Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.
A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good
I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.
I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:
Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.
On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page
On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL
About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier
On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas
That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.
#also a bit on the creators and writing advice thing#I dont think every creator out there who does How To Do X.....is treating what they say as fact. and i dont think that's Bad#i think they're just teaching what they think is valuable info#but like...you're allowed to disagree with it#but I've also encountered people with big platforms who will say shit like if you don't do This Thing you WILL fail in some way#just because THEY had that expreience...or will do writing advice marketed like Harsh Truths For Writers!!!#and like yeah you might find something valuable in that but like it's all marketing!!! they want you to click on their post and engage!#again! not always a bad thing it's how the internet works unfortunately! but sometimes it IS kind of shady lol and you can just ignore it#i'm saying this as someone sharing advice right now. you can disagree with any of this lol#some people share writing advice online and that's literally how they make money or they're using that advice to sell their product#again fair i dont think that's inherently bad but i think just. look at this stuff with a critical eye. people have experience that can be#helpful but NOBODY is an authority on writing#cause unfortunately some people Are capitalising on the fact there are vulnerable writers out there looking for help#putting this extension in the tags because its not so much about starting to write again but i think its important#in regards to engaging with writers spaces. that engagement can be so motivating but you have to set barriers LOL
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙
I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao
#not snz#we're not a couple tho nooooo 😭😭 lmaooo#it's just me being delusional#like he's literally not into me i stg i think y'all are gonna be more disappointed about the outcome than me#OH but he did hug me tho so I'm riding that high rn actually ahskamsk#lowkey have just been leaning against him half the shift but we've been watching videos and stuff together bc it's been slow so#that means nothing probably#also he looks at me like 😒 every time i ask one if my stupid little debate questions ahsakslsl#today was if ceral is a soup and if ketchup is a smoothie#please know that i ask these randomly literally out of nowhere like it's a normal thing to bring up lmaoooo#i have negative flirting skills ahdkaksk#this is the opposite of pulling a bad bitch by being autistic this is making the coworker question why he puts up with me lmaoooo#but he's the one who said yes to dinner so 😌#you know what he's never seen me in a cute little outfit before actually 👀#it's always been either the work uniform or hiking clothes#which to be fair my hiking clothes are kinda cute but they're hiking clothes nonetheless#like he saw me in normal clothes a bit ago but i was actively dying so they were just the most comfortable clothes i could find#so like maybe i can wear a skirt i have cute skirts i like wearing out with my bestie#and they're like. very specific kinds of skirts so maybe that'll tell him something ahskasmks#help why am i thinking so hard about this ahdkalslal#like it's literally actually not even a date it's just me flipping out for no reason while this guy is clueless 😭#like I'm telling y'all he's not into me and i don't understand why I'm being like this about it lmaoo#I'm always like 'fuck i wish my coworkers wouldn't crush on me to the point of asking me out that's awkward i don't date coworkers'#AND THEN I TURNED AROUND AND DID IT MYSELF#why am i like this#why am i so 👀 when he's one of the few people i shouldn't be 👀 at#i swear i should give it a couple months bc maybe I'm just feeling some type of way about him bc i was sick#but noooo i just HAVE to be insane about it now 😭#i should really have a tag for me being a pathetic wreck but idk what it would even be lmao#partner posting
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( T_T)\(^-^ )
#vent(?) ->#ive been wearing bracelets more lately and its making me feel a bit happier#looking down on my arms and seeing cute stuff instead of sh is sort of comforting#and whenever the bracelets have words that i love on them it just makes me feel so happy. i get reminded of the things i love#im putting this in tags instead of in the actual post because i still feel sort of bad talking about this kind of thing#even though i know its okay to..#i think i recommend this if looking at your arms scare you for any reason#im very scared if my arms and hands but if theres cute stuff on it i feel a bit better i think#thats why i draw on my hands and arms too. i put smiley faces on them and i put lain on them so i can always see things that i like#i am not even that good at making bracelets but its been making me feel so happy lately#not even just for myself but for my friends too.. it seems to make them happy :3#i love happiness!!! i love smiling i want to get better. i want to get better SO much even if i dont always feel like i do#i have time to get better even if it feels like everything could end at any second. im going to try and take my time#and try to become a happy person#so i can make other people happy too. i dont know what the point of this post is#i just want somebody out there to know im trying. im sorry
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Just said "sheesh, Kenna, you're the smartest person I know" out loud while reading your tags on the FMA Truth and Ed's atheism post. Then I realized that Indiana probably doesn't care as much for this information as you might lolol
honestly i'd originally written a really annoying ramble about gods in fiction under that post and now i'm so glad i deleted it to write that much more succinct breakdown of my thoughts on the matter
#I have such a ramble I could go on in every single direction of this topic because this is the stuff i think long and hard about#but im not even sure which part of my tags impressed you lmao#i feel like im just constantly shouting 'theres nuance!' about an issue which has#in fact truly deeply caused a lot of pain and hurt in the world! so like of course people dont want to see the nuance!#and they dont need to! thats a thing for me to have fun thinking deeply about - if its a cause of strife dont even worry about it!#i am actively working on a story right now where the 'gods' are knowingly lying and manipulating the mortal population#but like. they can't not. because they're not 'gods' as is all-knowing all-powerful supposed-to-reward-the-good-punish-the-bad#i think because thats a kind of god referred to in stories that im disinterested in. its boring and also comes with so much baggage#im way more interested in 'gods' as in creators. and thats it. i made this planet but thats all i can do. i cant fix it#or i made this ocean. i cant stop you from drowning in it i can just make ocean#and i'd never thought of it in terms of the laws of physics but like YEAH ACTUALLY. gravity as a god. i pull things together#you NEED to fight it sometimes! it kills you and it keeps you alive and there's no morality to it!#im also interested in gods as like. alien consciousnesses. like if there was a guy out there and he gave you life but#if you looked at him he would blind you and if you touched him he'd vaporize you#like just take all the physics and reality of the sun and put it in a person-shape and give it a voice#like again theres no morality to the sun! but once we personify things like that we start putting morality and baggage on them!#anyway im rambling lmao i could go on for hours. i just loved the idea of Truth as god just like Gravity as god
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every time i hear someone sayin' they only read completed fics but also complain because there's not enough 100k slowburns, i get so irrationally mad.
how do you think fics get completed? do you think the author sits on that 100K slowburn for months and posts it all at once? maybe interact and give some engagement
#this isn't ab anyone here i just saw in the tags of another ship#some bs 'i read all the (completed) fics for this pairing!'#i will never understand that. like i get why people do it#but it doesn't make sense to me personally bc when i read something i look at what's presented to me#and i don't need the full thing right then and there#i know how long writing takes; i'm happy to wait until it's done. even if that takes years#i know not everyone is like that. but this...entitlement to wanting 100k fics but not understanding or respecting the amount of time#and effort that goes into that. gets me so mad.#i really appreciate everyone here leaving comments and saying what they like#that kind of feedback has motivated me#and if you'll notice -- we sure are almost done with this fic aren't we?#crazy what leaving a comment can do.#i'm just a fierce defender of artists and i just. that stuff just pisses me off#it makes me feel like i'm just a machine.#or an entertainer. meant to just. make whatever you want and quickly#like if you feel that way fine. but can you not put it in the ship tags or talk about it at all publicly??#that's not something everyone needs to know#and it can make an author feel like 'wow i shouldn't write that big idea bc it'll take a while. i should write it all at once'#but then it won't get finished bc it takes a lot of motivation to write a big long thing without engagement of any kind#and i know. bc i tried to do that with constellations and couldn't
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Don't forget childhood friends to lovers is also basically pedophilia because if they get together as adults but knew each other as kids that means they were attracted to each others' child bodies/are picturing each other as kids when they fuck!
A List of Problematic™ Things
(All Takes I Have Actually Seen)
• Childhood Friends to Lovers? Practically Incest! • Two characters share the same (extremely distant) ancestor? Literally incest! Bad and wrong! • Platonic familial affection and intimacy? Suspicious. • “Sworn Brothers”? You guessed it! Incest.
• Height/size difference? Suspicious. • Two 17 year olds? You should have just made them adults. • But also aging up characters is Not Allowed. • 30+ year old with a much older character? Ew, age gap! • Puppy crushes? Illegal.
• Enemies to Lovers is Abuse, • and you should never redeem or sympathize with Villains/Abusers/The Bad People.
• Monsterfuckers? Zoophilia. Or necrophilia, if it’s vampires or whatever. The point is you’re wrong. And bad. >:(
“Wow what can they read? Only the fluffiest Coffeeshop/Soulmate/HC?”
• Coffeeshop AUs? Romanticizes workplace harassment. And gentrification. • Soulmate AUs? Amatonormative. Supports predetermination. • Hurt/comfort? Why would you want to hurt the characters? Freak.
Also:
• Straight ships are heteronormative. • But queer ships are fetishizing. • It’s very simple!
And even:
• You need the original media creator’s consent to write fanfic. Anne Rice was Valid, actually!
#purity wank#like look you're 1000000% okay to be totally uncomfortable with any kind of trope or ship dynamic#it's just that you don't have to do pretzel logic to find a way to make it Morally Evil#if you don't like childhood friends to lovers that's fine!#it's even fine if it feels too close to incest to you personally because your childhood friends felt like family!#but you don't get to then objectively state that it's 100% incest and evil universally#i have plenty of things i'm not into in fiction and yeah plenty of them would be morally wrong IRL#and plenty others are just massively gross IMO but morally neutral so long as everybody involved is a consenting adult#so i just stay the hell away from stuff that i want nothing to do with#it's actually usually pretty easy to do if you put in the time and effort to curate your experiences#yes it sucks in the meantime while you're feeling that out#but you experiencing discomfort does not mean that something is a moral evil in all situations#if you need help curating your spaces there are 100% people who will be happy to try and give you tips#but also sometimes you have to learn that you'll just be uncomfy sometimes or even triggered because that's life#we do the best we can to protect ourselves and others (this is why tags and ratings are good!) but Shit Happens#(i say this as a person who has triggers that cannot be tagged for because they're IRL and unavoidable if I'm a living entity)
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First volunteering shift tomorrow 😵💫
#it’s at a new local charity shop that benefits an animal charity#i went there on thursday night and the manager’s son showed me and others how to use all the important things#he was really nice. it seems like a good culture#he was kind of cute also but i found his instagram and he’s even gayer than me. which is fine#anyway i’m only there on tuesday mornings#i just thought it’d get me out of my rut and allow me to put something on my cv#and i can also help an important charity at the same time#none of it seems crazy complicated. like the till was Way simpler than the one at my last job#it’s just that it’s a touch screen and i’m not used to touch screen tills lol. like how do you cashier at light speed on that#get me a keyboard and i’ll clear your queue and frazzle the populace#there’s that and labelling. which basically i get to stab stuff with a tag maker. fun!#the only thing that kind of stresses me is signing people up for gift aid but i might just.. never do it#unless someone gives me good vibes#like i’m not asking anyone even remotely belligerent to sign up for gift aid. i am asking 20 somethings with the backbone of a string bean#he did say not to worry about it unless someone is donating a lot of stuff or high ticket items#so yeah. that’s the situation#i’m just nervous because it’s a new place; new people; my knee’s been acting up this week#i just ate too much and i also have to post a package tomorrow so i’m really worried i’m going to accidentally do something weird#like leave my package at the shop or try to volunteer at the royal mail#look it’s fine. it’s fine! it’s once a week#it’s once a week and my edibles are arriving tomorrow! god willing#i ordered a cupcake box and each one is like 300mg and i haven’t had weed in over a month#so don’t be surprised if the next thing you hear from me is ‘the shift went fine and also i’m blasted’#okay i’m gonna do a bedtime yoga; take herbal nytol and go to sleep#hopefully.#personal
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