#put-in-bay ohio

[middleland]

South Bass Island by Larry Myhre

Via Flickr:

South Bass Island, Ohio; the brick lighthouse and keeper's quarters was built in 1897 and has been inactive since 1962. The active light, at the time, is on the skeletal tower in front of the older building. It has since been replaced by a square steel skeletal tower. Scanned from a print - photo taken in 1999.

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Family went to Ohio to see the eclipse. It was a lot of fun and so pretty

[clove-pinks]

I'm still in shock over the job offer and impending move on a tight deadline. Oh Oliver Hazard Perry we're really in for it now!!

[moonville-tunnel]

lake erie / put-in-bay OH (ft terry)

[alexphantm]

Ohio Trip Day 5 (post 1/2) Fifth day was really up in the air but we decided to go to put in bay and go to Perry’s family fun Center ( I joked that we were a family because we have a puppy). We went to the butterfly house, the cave, and played mini golf. I also bought lots of rocks. The cave tour was really interesting though!

[ohio-strippers]

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[tampatom12]

With Tom returning to Boston on Sunday for his retirement honor ceremony, it got me thinking about his inevitable induction into the NFL Hall of Fame.

He is eligible in 2028. My other guy, Rob, is going to be eligible in 2027.

I have decided that I'm gonna to go to both of their ceremonies. 😊

It's a little expensive and is sure to be crowded, but I also just wanna do this for myself!!!

I think it will be a fun time all around. 🤩🔥💯❤️🤍💙🧡🦜

[mydaddywiki]

Warren G. Harding

Physique: Average Build Height: 6’ (1.83 m)

Warren Gamaliel Harding (November 2, 1865 – August 2, 1923) was the 29th president of the United States, serving from 1921 until his death in 1923. A member of the Republican Party, he was one of the most popular sitting U.S. presidents. After his death, a number of scandals were exposed, including Teapot Dome, as well as an extramarital affair with Nan Britton, which tarnished his reputation where he is generally regarded as one of the worst presidents. Harding died of a heart attack in San Francisco while on a western tour and was succeeded by Vice President Calvin Coolidge.

Handsome with a grumpy look who was always well dressed and well groomed, many historians have argued people only voted for him because he “looked presidential”. I think he did and he definitely look fuckable.

Harding married Florence Kling De Wolfe, a divorcee with one son. The Hardings had no children together. Harding reportedly had affairs with Carrie Phillips (his wife’s best friend) and Nan Britton (She lost her virginity to him when she was twenty and Harding was fifty) who bare a child during the 1910s and early 1920s, prior to his death in 1923. He wrote tawdry letters to all his lovers filled with euphemism and sexual innuendoes (“Jerry” was the code word for his penis.) And he had so many female admirers (nicknamed his lollapaloozas) that his security guards worked overtime, keeping them at bay.

What else do I know about other than he being a whore. He often play poker with his Cabinet, nicknamed the “Ohio gang”, used tobacco in all its forms - cigarettes, cigars, snuff, a pipe and chewing tobacco, serve bootleg whiskey to his guests and would also sneak off in the middle of the night to watch burlesque shows. Now I wish I could get him drunk, play poker with him and put my ass on the line. Or something to that effect.

[greatlakesrebel]

[spurgie-cousin]

Hey just an update for everyone who gave me so much shit about being "overly paranoid" about East Palestine, Ohio that I deleted the post bc I just didn't want to deal with it anymore:

1. You were fuckin wrong you bootlicking bitches, and just some advice for the future: the government actually lies, like a lot. It's in your best interest to question things they tell you sometimes.

2. The government only admitted to lying because all of the public pressure was embarrassing for them, like full stop. If it hadn't been for the pressure, this would've been ignored and left up to the locals to deal with for probably decades (and honestly there still will probably be effects on the environment that last that long even with the help of the EPA).

3. Here are some research topics to get you started in The Government Fucking Lies To You 101 (American edition): Flint, MI (again), the Vietnam War, the Tuskegee "experiment", literally anything to do with Native Americans and treaties, any popular historical story taught in schools that includes Native Americans, and we could also get into the Civil Rights movements in the 60s but we'd literally be here all day so let's just say the Government's reaction to the movement as a whole, Guantanamo Bay, the Cuban missile crisis, this hobby balloon "assault" that I'm sure will go down as a very stupid and embarrassing part of American history, and on and on and on and on

That's not even the tip of the iceberg but anyway yea, the government's first interest is literally always itself. It will and has put people in immediate danger if they have a "plausible" reason to deny that's what they're doing.

[rjzimmerman]

Do the recent or right-now-ongoing crazy global weather scare you? Bother you? Interest you?

I'm pulling this from various media sources, because there is so much crazy weather happening now, or that has happened within the last couple of weeks, it seems like no single media source is picking it up.

From Heatmap AM:

Houston’s floods – More than 400 people in and around Houston, Texas, evacuated their homes over the weekend due to flooding. At least one person, a child, was killed. In one nearby county, more than 21 inches of rain fell over five days last week. The rain has tapered off but the cleanup has just begun.

Brazil’s rain – In Brazil’s southern state of Rio Grande do Sul, days of intense rain caused the Guaiba River to overflow and flood more than 340 cities, including the region’s capital of Porto Alegre. At least 78 people are dead and more than 115,000 have been forced to evacuate. One climatologist calledthe catastrophe “a disastrous cocktail” of climate change and the El Niño effect. “It looks like a scene out of a war,” said Rio Grande do Sul governor Eduardo Leite. 

Chile’s fires – Fires in Chile’s Valparaiso region, fueled by an intense heat wave and enduring drought, have killed at least 51 people and burned more than 64,000 acres.

Kenya’s deluge – Flooding and landslides in Kenya from unrelenting rainfall have killed more than 200 people. It is still raining and the weather is forecast to worsen throughout the month of May.

Southeast Asia’s heat wave – A lengthy heat wave has shattered temperature records across Southeast Asia, forcing many schools to close. One weather historian called the heat wave “the most extreme event in world climatic history.” 

From the Associated Press (AP):

A weekend spring storm that drenched the San Francisco Bay area and closed Northern California mountain highways also set a single-day snowfall record for the season on Sunday (May 5) in the Sierra Nevada. The wet weather system had mostly moved out of the state by Sunday morning, but officials warned that roads would remain slick after around two feet (60 centimeters) of snow fell in some areas of the Sierra. “Did anyone have the snowiest day of the 2023/2024 season being in May on their winter bingo card?” the University of California, Berkeley Central Sierra Snow Lab asked on the social platform X. The 26.4 inches (67 centimeters) of snowfall on Sunday beat the second snowiest day of the season — March 3rd — by 2.6 inches (6.6 centimeters), according to the lab.

From Yale Climate Connections:

For the first time since the 2010s, a high-risk outlook for severe weather (level 5 of 5) has been issued for parts of the Great Plains. The outlook was put in place at 8 a.m. EDT Monday, May 6, and updated at 12:30 p.m. EDT Monday by the NOAA/National Weather Service Storm Prediction Center, as a busy few days of severe weather moved into high gear. Dozens of tornadoes could erupt by midweek, including in and near Oklahoma on Monday and across a broad swath of the mid-Mississippi and lower Ohio River valleys on Wednesday. Many of the worst tornado U.S. outbreaks of recent years have played out across the Mississippi Valley and Southeast, but multiple rounds of twisters have hammered the Plains since late April, taking at least seven lives and wreaking what will no doubt be hundreds of millions of dollars in damage.

From Wikipedia:

On 16 April 2024, heavy rains caused floods in the United Arab Emirates, affected cities of mainly Dubai and Sharjah, the northern Emirates, and different areas of the Emirate of Ras Al Khaimah. According to the National Center for Meteorology (United Arab Emirates) , this was the country's heaviest rainfall recorded in 75 years. The floods in the Emirates were a part of the greater Persian Gulf floods.

[middleland]

South Bass Island, Ohio -- downtown Put-in-Bay (2) (3) by clarinetgirl

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Family went to Ohio to see the eclipse. It was a lot of fun and so pretty

[clove-pinks]

Is there anything about your new location (the terrain, the local culture, the physical sites, etc) that has given you a new perspective on regional events of the War of 1812?

This a wonderful ask, thank you! I have been mulling over how to answer it all day! This ended up getting so long I put it behind a cut (I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS).

The Maumee River, as seen from Fort Meigs Historic Site.

One thing new in my life is a heightened awareness of important rivers facilitating the movement of trade, supplies, and settlement. Particularly in the Old Northwest/current Midwest of the USA: regions that I grew up perceiving as a land-locked "flyover country."

Like, to give one example, I had a vague idea that there was a city called Fort Wayne, Indiana, but I thought it was just in the middle of a cornfield for no reason(?). But actually it's at the confluence of the St. Joseph, St. Marys, and Maumee Rivers, leading to the Great Lakes! The strategically important location is why General Anthony Wayne—that guy again—built the original fortification in 1794. I am downriver of all of this, connected to many inland waterways.

I also have a keen sense of living in the Great Black Swamp, despite how dramatically the land has been transformed by deforestation and drainage. There are the terrifying drainage ditches everywhere (the locals seem less perturbed by them), and many other signs of the natural state of the terrain—the swamp is just barely at bay. My coworkers have said "Black Swamp" unprompted in our conversations; I've seen it mentioned in local Facebook groups talking about the need for back-up sump pumps. The idea that people of northwest Ohio have no sense of history and are unaware of the Great Black Swamp isn't true at all.

I look at the pools of water that form in every hollow and think of the words of Alfred Lorrain, marching to Fort Meigs:

We had frequently to pass through what was called, in the provincialism of the frontiers, "swales"—standing ponds—through which the troops and packhorses which had preceded us had made a trail of shattered ice. Those swales were often a quarter of a mile long. They were, moreover, very unequal in their soundings. In common they were not more than half-leg deep; but sometimes, at a moment when we were not expecting it, we suddenly sank down to our cartridge-boxes.

Swale is a new word in my vocabulary, and now I see them everywhere!

Culturally, I think there is a great appreciation of history here: a very positive difference from the Chicagoland area. Even if the average local is probably not deeply into it, they have a consciousness of major historical events that have shaped their region and take pride in it. It's a lot more like New England that way.

Because of my focus on the War of 1812, I notice the absence of Indigenous people and voices—absent from historical accounts and from the demographics of Perrysburg and its environs today. I can't single out Ohio as being a uniquely violent settler-colonial state when this is ALL of the United States; but it hits different when I have this much greater familiarity with who was forcibly removed from this land, and how. The same US military leaders who fought in the War of 1812 were behind the (very much related) campaign for the removal of Native Americans from newly acquired territories, including the infamous Trail of Tears.

Once again, it's probably hypocritical for me to notice this so much, when I literally grew up on Wampanoag land where King Philip's War was fought, but here I am. Suddenly aware of General Wayne's name on everything, etc.

General Wayne's spurs in the Fort Meigs Museum. Not pictured: the can of Maumee Bay Brewing Co. Fallen Timbers Ale that I am currently drinking.

I haven't had the chance to explore physical sites with historical significance beyond Fort Meigs and Fallen Timbers. I know I will get to the ruins of Fort Miamis soon, and I really want to explore a lot of wetlands in local parks and nature preserves (that will double as birdwatching excursions). I am always thinking about what this place looked like 200 years ago, and what I can see today that might still look familiar to a person from that time.

I had a great trip to the National Museum of the Great Lakes today, which is closer than I thought! Local maritime museums are also on my agenda, even if they're not specifically War of 1812-related.

[terriwriting]

Possible locations for Gotham, Metropolis, & Smallville

A non-exhaustive list of places to put Gotham, Metropolis, or any other fictional city.

Notes:

Cities need reliable fresh water, transportation, and food.

Wonder Woman doesn't need a city. She already has Paradise Island.

Gotham

I'm more of a Superman fan, so my notes on Gotham are relatively short. Plus Metropolis comes in two variations, while Gotham just needs to be a city that is old enough to have old infrastructure and deep-rooted generational wealth.

Illinois/Indiana:

The Chicago-Gary area is the easiest place to put Gotham if you want to move it away from the East Coast. Hello Kitty Unpretty's Gotham is a Great Lakes city.

New Jersey:

The classic. There are two good places for a fictional city, but the one in the southern area of the state will be noticeably different from canon-Gotham.

The Camden-Rehoboth Bay corridor could be unified by an old canal system. Place Gotham one one end of the canal and Bluehaven (Bludhaven to cynical locals) on the other, according to your preference. Note that the Rehoboth Bay end is mostly mud and silt layered over more mud and silt, so you're probably better off placing Bludhaven here as a smaller city with few major towers. Either end will need extensive drainage (canals, storm drains, aqueducts, and reservoirs), so that's great for the crumbling infrastructure. Remember that if you place Gotham here, Batman's costume needs to be light, not armoured, or he'll be dead in a week from heat stroke.

The New Brunswick-Newark metropolitan area fits the climate we usually see in comics. Maybe throw in Staten Island as a little treat for New jersey.

In either case, the rest of the Justice League calls Batman Tony Soprano behind his back.

New York:

The NYC metro region with no city unification. Gotham is probably Manhattan, plus maybe Staten Island for rich people like Bruce.

Ohio:

A unified Cleveland-Akron-Canton metropolitan area with a higher population, maybe?

Rhode Island

My preferred headcanon: The Newport-Providence metropolitan area as a unified city. Bruce Wayne is old old money, some of the Wayne cousins were involved in the witch trials, and this fits the map published by Mayfair games.

Metropolis

Metropolis comes in two flavours: The more common one where Metropolis is a stand-in for an old East Coast US city, or; The Superman: TAS version where Metropolis is a new city, built under the influence of tech billionaire Lex Luthor. I like both.

If you like Clark and Lex as high school friends, that's not really compatible with a New Metro built by Lex Luthor. There's just not enough time for Lex to build anything more than a small suburb. But Lex could be manoeuvring to take control of Metropolis from his family, or from some other DCU billionaire like Simon Stagg.

Connecticut:

There are two good regions in Connecticut to place a fictional city: The Bridgeport-New Haven region, or; The area between the Connecticut River and Thames River.

The Bridgeport-New Haven version better fits the Old Metropolis version, but can also be used for the New Metro version. If you're going for Old Metro, in reality this area did industrialize before the NYC area (Which was dominated by shipping before it picked up light manufacturing), but the early industrialists didn't invest enough in the trade schools or financial institutions that would have let them keep that early advantage. Have a few mill owners and canal companies invest in engineering schools, have later industrial barons invest in office equipment manufacturing and chemical engineering, and you have your Old Metro. For your New Metro, genius tech billionaire Lex Luthor plants a few factories in the major population centres, buys up golf courses to turn them into company towns with inexpensive mid-density housing, and then uses his political and economic influence to pressure the municipalities to merge into his new Metropolis. This version of the New Metro will have more old architecture, but that's not a bad thing.

The Connecticut River-Thames River region fits either version. For an Old Metro, just have the area invest in trades and technical schools as with the Bridgeport-New Haven region. There are old whaling towns in this area so the region could move into shipbuilding, marine alloys engineering, and later railcars and elevators and escalators. This is an easy place to plant a fictional new city, with a low urban population and lots of farms, golf course, and camp/resort sites to buy out. An ambitious billionaire or group of wealthy investors could start a new urban centre with relative ease.

Delaware:

Most of the Delmarva region is mud. You're not going to build many skyscrapers here. But you could fit some in along the Chesapeake and Delaware Canal.

A Metropolis on the Chesapeake and Delaware Canal would probably be smaller than Metropolis is usually shown as, with maybe two million inhabitants instead of six-eight million. But this is comic books, so go with what feels right to your heart.

This works equally well for New or Old Metro.

New Jersey:

Have Bayonne & Newark industrialize early, deliver Staten Island unto New Jersey, invest heavily in education and financial institutions, unify Bayonne-Newark-Staten Island, and bada-bing bada-boom Lois Lane sounds like Carmela Soprano.

Staten Island isn't necessary, but you gotta put the fancy houses and big parks somewhere.

Works best with the Old Metro approach, but you could also have investors take over the urban area and push a lot of redevelopment.

New York:

There are a couple of good places in New York state for Metropolis.

For a New Metro, try the Chaumont Bay-Guffin Bay region. Access to rail, road, air, and sea shipping, and lots of tradespeople and professionals in nearby cities who are desperate for inexpensive housing.

For an Old Metro, you can't go wrong with a thinly-disguised NYC. Just file off the serial numbers, maybe some new rims, and drive it like you stole it.

Smallville

Generic East Coast:

If you're like me and prefer the feel of Bronze Age Smallville, you might want to keep Smallville as an East Coast town. This is easy. There's no reason for Smallville to be in the same state as Metropolis, so it can be anywhere from Maryland to Massachusetts. Towards the end of the Bronze Age it was generally described as vaguely New Jersey or Pennsylvania. East Coasters can entertain themselves imagining Clark Kent, MetU freshman, trying to order a pork roll and water ice in the Metropolis version of Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop.

Kansas:

The Flint Hills region matches modern continuity and the look of both the Smallville series and Bronze Age comics. Lawrence is a good model.

Special Mention: Susquehanna River

BludBluehaven: Great place for Nightwing to relocate to, regardless of where your Gotham is.

Gotham: Replaces Baltimore and/or Philadelphia as a rail and sea hub.

Metropolis: Great for the New Metro.

Opal City: Gotta go somewhere, and this matches the map DC published.

Smallville: Depends on what version you prefer.

What About The Teen Titans?

Fuck Marv Wolfman, that's what.

[stonedstargazer666]

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....