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kingdoms-and-empires · 2 years ago

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Hii❤️ Take a seat, prepare something to drink, because this is going to be a long long praise ❤️😂 I've played your game in the past at least three times, and I always enjoyed it so much! But yesterday I played it again and I noticed some scenes that I think weren't there before! I think you did a great work! The previous demo was really smooth and enjoyable, but I feel that the new one makes the story a bit more linear, if that makes sense. All the new scenes allowed us to feel more immersed in the narration, and connected some situations that were previously a little sudden (for example, the first few times I read, I don't remember being the scene where we read our grandfather's letter) (I also really liked that you added the possibility to read about all the teaching we received during the years!)(did I stay awake all night to read? absolutely yes!😍)

I also wanted to tell you that the way you write about our relationship with our family makes my heart melt every time😭 I could feel the love of our parents, the way they care for us and actually make an effort to spend time with us because they love us! You really have a way with words!

And also, I warn you: I'm going to kidnap Aurelius one of these days. HE IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD! The way he opens and closes his little hands when he is a toddler makes me go "🥹🥹😭😭😭😭" And also Mary is sooo sweet! So dedicated, so brave, so pretty, I want to hug her so much!❤️

Last but not least (I actually don't remember if I had to add something else... I'll just write another ask if that's the case😂) when I played the game the first three times, I always read the torture scene, because I wanted the whole experience of what was happening. But it's written so well, that this time I really couldn't do it. It's an extremely strong scene, really difficult to write too, I think (just like the whole flashback later in the story), but you wrote it really well. I usually don't have problems whit this type of scenes, but yours was on another level😂

Now this has gotten really long, but I have a couple of questions... So I'll make another ask later so you can answer separately 😂

Thank you for your hard work❤️❤️

Thank you really much for your kind words!

I actually did add a few scenes in the beginning again to help the story flow better, and cleaned some stuff up.

For the final product or later in the future ill be making the festival arc cleaner with Leah's suggestion of making a mini arc with it so that you can travel around the city via a choices checklist so it feels much more immersive in the future, sorta like how Shepard's of Haven lets you do things throughout the day, which reminds me, if you havent played, please do!!!

@shepherds-of-haven is a quality game that deserves all the attention it gets!

Back on track again, uhhh oh yeah, about Aurelian, our lil bro picks up mannerisms throughout the years. When he was young, he open and closed his fist when excited, nowadays he snaps his fingers whenever he gets excited lol

Also the torture scene and night of tears were really heavy to write as well. Needing to research on the topics like the munster rebellion and the execution afterwards, or the Romanov family killings really put a damper on me as i wrote, and i had to make sure i wasnt glorifying nor making the violence edgy for edginess sake. I needed to make it raw, but also not annoyingly grimdark.

But again, thank you for the kind words!

#kingdomsandempires #if wip #interactive fiction #interact if #dashingdon #hosted games

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liebgotts-lovergirl · 2 years ago

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All For One & One For All

Gallery II Taglist Application II Symbol Guide

Summary: In trying to tear them apart, Captain Sobel just accidentally brought them closer. A/N: Just a lil friendship flashback blurb thing that came to me while I was working on Chapter 11 & I figured I'd put it out there lol bc platonic friendships are important!! Taglist: @latibvles @softguarnere @brassknucklespeirs @wwhatev3r @mccall-muffin

6 Months Earlier: March 18th, 1944. Aldbourne, England.

“I’m gonna kill myself,” Don muttered, hauling what felt like the millionth pile of dirt over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna kill him myself,” Alix replied out of the corner of her mouth, digging her shovel violently into the Earth with renewed vigor, as though spearing Sobel straight through the heart.

“Not if I do it first,” Skip mumbled back to her with a roll of his eyes. “Can you believe this is our fucking Saturday?"

“I don’t remember giving you three permission to speak!” Sobel bellowed from the outside of the ditch, pacing from one end to the other like a caged animal.

“Sir,” Skip half-panted, in a tone of forced diplomacy. “We’ve been at this since dawn and it’s almost ten now. When can-”

“You will be digging these damn ditches until I tell you to stop, Sergeant Muck!” Sobel interrupted, nostrils flaring.

"Your times from yesterday morning's run were so pathetic that you should be grateful I didn't make you run beforehand!”

Well what did you fucking expect, Alix wanted to retort.

Don was sick as a dog, and both she and Skip were nursing hangovers on zero sleep, having spent most of Thursday night taking care of Malarkey after they returned from the pub.

What the hell did Sobel expect them to be after all that, Olympic fucking medalists?

Digging pointless ditches only to fill them back in was one of Sobel's favorite punishments and the three of them seemed to always be first on his shit-list: Alix for insubordination and her smart mouth, Skip for lateness, and Don seemingly just for existing.

Don stopped digging to let out another hacking cough into his elbow and Sobel’s nose crinkled disdainfully.

Keeping his head tilted down, Skip still managed to exchange worried glances with Alix.

Don's flu had only been getting worse under the constant training in the English rain, and his best friends both wondered silently how long Don could remain working before he collapsed.

Finally, the agent resolved to say something.

She couldn't let this asshole Sobel endanger her friend, even if it meant taking on more punishments herself.

“Sir, Mal can barely stand!" Alix protested, pausing from her work momentarily to wipe away the sweat trickling down her forehead.

She was trying her best to remain civil but it was a Herculean effort.

"Punish me and Skip all you'd like but Don is too fucking sick to be here. He needs rest and a doctor before he gets any worse!"

Sobel glared down at her for a moment and Alix could see the cogs turning in his mind before he spoke.

"It's Martinelli, isn't it?" he asked finally, eyes narrowed as he scrutinized her. "Our Sparrow-in-Training."

You have my file; you know damn well who I am, Alix wanted to snap, but she managed a "Yes sir" from between gritted teeth.

“Well Martinelli," he spat as though her name was a curse word.

"You don't give the orders around here. I do. And since you three had the worst times yesterday, you will be digging ditches until I tell you otherwise. Is that clear?"

"Then let me dig Don's section," Alix pushed. "So he doesn't have to."

"I can help!" Skip volunteered but Sobel ignored them, continuing on his tirade.

"Director Donovan and the OSS might see something special in you, Martinelli, but d’you want to know what I see?”

Not particularly but I know you're going to tell me, Alix thought dryly but outwardly she held her tongue, glaring down at her shovel as she dug up another round of soil and threw it over her shoulder.

He was deliberately trying to rankle her by ignoring her concerns about Don's health, framing it as though she were trying to give orders above her station.

What a piece of shit.

“I see a spoiled brat who thinks she’s too good to be here because Daddy paid her way into the OSS."

Alix set her jaw but Sobel was just getting started.

"You may be Donovan's little princess back at HQ," he sneered. "But as long as you are positioned with Easy for your cover, you are under my command and I will not be allowing this type of insubordination to go unpunished. Get out of the ditch."

Alix's brows knit.

"Sir?"

"Get. Out. Of. The. Ditch." he repeated, overenunciating his words as though she were a child.

Once she'd climbed out, Sobel, who towered over her at 6 foot 1, regarded her as though she were an ant beneath his boots.

"Count yourself fortunate that I can't kick you out, Martinelli," he all but snarled at her.

"Because I wouldn't hesitate. You're not cut out for the Airborne."

"Good thing I didn't sign up for it then, sir."

Shit.

Alix's mouth moved faster than her brain sometimes.

Most times, she thought ruefully.

A snicker escaped Skip's mouth before he could stop it and Sobel's head whipped around, descending on him like a hawk.

"Do you think insubordination is funny, Sergeant?"

"N-No sir," Skip choked out, trying to disguise his laughter as coughs. "Not funny at all, sir."

Sobel was wearing a sanguine smirk, pacing in front of Skip and Alix's section of the ditch as though he were deciding what method of torture would be most appropriate for each of them.

The sadistic bastard was enjoying this.

"Agent Martinelli," he announced, turning back to lock eyes with Alix. She could see a vein pulsing in his forehead but she kept her eyes focused, squinting in the morning sun.

She would not be the first to blink.

"Since you seem to enjoy assuming a leadership role when it has not been assigned to you, you will be running the officers' course: 5 miles at full-speed and you will be timed. Your handler ran it in 35 minutes. Since you seem to think you rank even higher, let's see if you can run it in 25."

Alix drew her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from yelling, biting down so hard that she tasted blood.

He's insane, she thought to herself. He's officially fucking lost it.

Another impossible task, and all because she had been a little tired during the morning run.

She could've screamed, especially when she saw the gloating look on Sobel's face.

"I may not be able to kick you out, Martinelli, but by the end of today, you will wish that I had."

"We'll see, sir."

"Muck, Malarkey" Sobel barked, turning his attention to her other friends. "Get out of the ditch."

Skip exhaled sharply through his nose, as though he was releasing any hope of having a good day, but he too clambered out of the ditch before reaching down to help Don as well.

"Since I would hate to break up the Three fucking Musketeers--"

Sobel's voice was dripping with so much sarcasm that it left Alix seriously considered how much it would cost her to accidentally poison the man's coffee some fine morning.

"You two will be accompanying Agent Martinelli on the Officers' Course. But this is not a playdate, you three. You will be competing. The one with the slowest time will be filling in this unfinished ditch all by themself."

Alix cocked an eyebrow.

She knew the game he was playing. It was the same game that the headmistress played at St. Mary's: trying to pit friends against each other.

Sobel got a real kick out of being divisive and Alix suspected that whatever else was going on in his life, he wanted everyone else to suffer for it too.

Well, tough shit.

She might've actually felt sorry for him if he wasn't such a jackass.

But Sobel was the sort of man who would probably kick puppies for fun.

He was clearly banking on the fact that if they were busy fighting with each other, they'd be less effective against him so he was trying his damnedest to sow some discord between them.

But he didn't know Warren Muck, not like they did.

Skip was the glue that held everything together, the ever-patient mediator.

Don and Alix may have been quick to anger but never him.

Infinitely good-natured, the Skipper wasn't one to hold a grudge and he as well as anyone knew what Sobel's modus operandi was. It would take more than a stupid punishment from Sobel to make him truly angry at either her or Don.

"What are you waiting for?" Sobel shouted, seemingly morbidly overjoyed to watch them struggle through the course. "Get a move on! You're wasting daylight."

"Yes sir," Alix spit with as much venom as she had in her as the three headed off.

∆∆━━━━∆∆━━━∆∆━━━∆∆

"That man is the Devil in jump boots, I swear," Skip remarked from her right side at his usual bounding pace "I'd stake my life on it."

"You're not wrong, Skipper," Don wheezed through another loud cough, his speed starting to lag. "I'm pretty sure he's tryna kill me."

"Sure seems like it," Alix panted in reply, slowing down to match Don's pace. "Sorry I got you guys smoked too though. I would've rather it've just been me."

"No sweat," Skip chirped cheerfully, still practically skipping, true to his name. "Beats digging more stupid ditches!"

Don managed a small grin.

The bounce in Skip's step never seemed to fade, no matter how dark the day.

"And besides," Skip continued. "At least we're all getting smoked together, right? Builds character."

"Well by the time we're done in Aldbourne, we'll probably have the most fucking character of anyone in the damn whole company," Don joked.

"You're welcome," Alix snarked, the heavy footfalls of her boots sending clouds of dirt up like a small stampede.

"Guys, did he really call us the Three fucking Musketeers as an insult," Don laughed, which quickly turned into a sneeze.

"Or was that just a product of my flu-addled imagination?"

"No, it was real," Alix commented with a grin. "Not a bad book either, Les Trois Mousquetaires. I read it at St. Mary's."

"Hey, no kidding!" Skip's face lit up from beside her. "I read it in school too!"

"Weren't they also called--" Don broke off due to another coughing fit and Skip finished for him.

"The Three Inseparables, yep!"

"'We are never seen one without the others...Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, the Three Inseparables.'" Alix recited from memory.

"And D'Artagnan, the extra," Don added. "But he doesn't really count, does he?"

"I know Sobel meant it as an insult but is it terrible that I actually kinda like it?" Skip asked. "'S pretty fitting, I think."

Alix shook her head.

"It's definitely fitting," she piped up in agreement. "Plus, anything that Sobel hates is pretty much automatically my new favorite thing."

"Agreed," Don replied. "But now we need to figure out what're we gonna do about this stupid fucking competition. We'll be at the end soon."

Malarkey was right, Alix mused, trying to ignore the ever-increasing burning of her muscles as they ran.

They were nearing the end of the course and Sobel would soon be expecting two winners and a loser.

Since Malarkey was sick, most likely, Sobel was betting on him finishing last so that he could be forced to fill in the ditch, but neither Skip nor Alix were going to let that happen.

"Well, the answer's right there, isn't it?" Alix commented and both Skip and Don cocked their heads.

"Care to elaborate?" Skip asked at the same time Don managed to choke out "Share" in between a string of thunderous sneezes.

"'Tous pour un, un pour tous!'"

Skip shook his head.

"Sorry, no dice. Translation please?"

"'All for one and one for all,'" Alix answered brightly.

"We finish the race at the same time, together, that way Sobel can't make any one of us fill the ditch in alone. The work'll go much faster between the three of us!"

"'All for one and one for all,'" Skip repeated, a grin spreading across his face. "I love it. You in, Mal?"

"Of course I'm in!" Malarkey piped up. "Man, I can't wait to see the pissed off look on his face when he realizes we won't play his stupid fucking games!"

And Malarkey was right.

The sense of pure triumph and satisfaction that Alix felt watching Sobel's face turn red with fury as the three of them crossed the finish line arm-in-arm was enough to get her sore muscles through even the most strenuous parts of refilling the ditch afterwards.

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ryuichirou · 4 years ago

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What happened is everything ok regarding aot? I follow u on twitter

Yeeeah about that…

It’s the same old thing: we got some negative “ew what the fuck” type of comments under our recent (non-snk) art, and this time both of us (hysterically, tbh) snapped. We had A BLAST this weekend, and then, when this happened, reality hit us really hard because of the contrast. Suddenly we got a very clear realisation that we’re done with getting treated like shit for simply posting stuff that we like. Stuff that’s easily avoidable, easily blockable, easily ignorable. We spent over a year blocking people, ignoring comments, trying to be as civil as possible, and I can’t count the amount of times I repeated that this doesn’t matter and people who support us are the ones who do matter… and don’t get me wrong, this is still true. You guys are the ones who helped us a lot during those times and we would’ve probably stopped posting after our very post scolopendra!Eren post in 2019 if it weren’t for you.

But one can only tolerate this type of crap for so long, and we have reached our limit yesterday. We post art to have fun and for people to enjoy, so if posting it brings so much constant negativity, why bother? We don’t understand why we have to go through all this just to post two anime guys kissing/fucking/interacting in any way. Why do I have to block THOUSANDS of people? Why do I have to check the tag and block people there before they come to us in the comments? Why do I have to block them and all their friends and whatnot just to make sure they won’t bother us? I can spend up to three or four hours a day just blocking people instead of idk resting? Relaxing? Drawing, for fuck’s sake? Why is this the experience we get for posting drawings with anime boys?

You know, I love my drawings. We both do. We kinda like them a lot, they’re precious to us, we love the ideas we put behind them, so all those people can shove their ��what the fuck”s up their asses. It’s unpleasant to see, and we’re tired of ignoring it. Imagine people randomly coming up to you to say that you’re a piece of shit from time to time once per day, just unprovoked. Yeah I can close my eyes and pretend it doesn’t happen, but for what? Why do I have to do that? I’m just a person. I draw stuff. It makes me happy to draw stuff that I like and to make Katsu happy as well. Just so you know, all this year that we’ve been posting art, we’ve been drawing together for ~6 hours every single day, without missing even one. That’s a lot of dedication. Nobody likes to be humiliated for that, esp when all the critique that you get is... you know what I get, you’ve seen it yourself. Maybe you’ve seen more stuff than I have.

I’m very neutral about things I don’t like/ship. I never say negative stuff about them, unless I get an ask about it, and even then we try to be as civil in the replies as possible. I also dedicate a lot of time to give at least some love to all the ships that don’t have a lot of content. I dedicate a lot of time to draw girls the way I want to see them. That’s what I get for my efforts. “Waste of talent”. Because they don’t like Ereri/Eruri/Zevi/whatever you wanna put here. Like wow, thanks for shitting on one of the few people who even bothered with drawing some rareship in the first place.

I know that it’s you guys who support us who’re the ones suffering the most in the end, you didn’t deserve this. I’m very sorry. But we have to worry about ourselves first.

That being said, I did say that we’d stop posting SnK-related content some time after the finale, so I guess it’s time. Like I mentioned, we had some other drawings we wanted to sketch and post, but no luck here I guess lol I’ll try to reply to all the asks that we have in our askbox though, so don’t worry about those.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll reiterate: we may come back to SnK in the future, and I’m almost sure we will. We love the manga so much, and the AUs, all this stuff. But it won’t happen in a couple of years or so haha, not because of the anti stuff, but because we want to get some fresh air and get back to it after we’ve forgotten it a lil bit. It’s more enjoyable that way.

I hope this doesn’t sound too dramatic lol but yeah, this is how the things are for now.

#replies

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retrievablememories · 4 years ago

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make a wish | lucas

title: make a wish pairing: lucas x reader genre: fluff, a little angst request: hiii! can i please request something for wayv lucas where you dont answer his calls or texts for a day because you and the other wayv members were setting up a surprise bday party for him. thank you! word count: 1.7k warnings: hmm none that i can think of... a/n: not sure if i like how this came out, let’s pretend i didn’t post it if it flops 🤡 i felt like this was maybe a little more ~angsty~ than it needed to be altho i wasn’t sure how else to maneuver the surprise bday thing without them blowing the cover lmao...also yea it’s not his bday anymore but life is busy lol

To: Y/N Helloo~~? Y/N, are you ever gonna answer me back?

Seriously, did I do something wrong…

If you’re mad at least tell me why.

Lucas knows you’re not in any kind of danger or distress because he’s seen you be active on your social media accounts, but he can’t understand why you haven’t answered a single one of his calls or texts. Especially since tomorrow is his birthday.

Lucas feels frustrated at not being able to get through to you, and none of the other members seem to know what’s going on even when he asks. They’re close enough to you to have your number and talk to you regularly, but they all claim they haven’t heard anything from you either.

Ten looks up from his phone, seeing Lucas standing in the middle of the room looking bewildered as he stares down at his own phone like it’ll give him an answer. “Maybe Y/N wants a break from you right now,” he suggests, which makes Lucas sweat a bit despite himself. Ten wouldn’t know that. Right? Unless you’d told him something to suggest that.

“Stop trying to destroy happy homes, hyung,” Xiaojun says. “I’m sure it’s not that. Maybe she just needs alone time. Everyone does sometimes.”

“I guess,” Lucas mumbles. But he also knows that you’d usually tell him in advance if that were that case—not just ignore him completely. He thinks about going over to your place to find out what’s going on, but if what Xiaojun said is true, it’d probably be better not to disturb you or make you upset. “Are you sure she hasn’t contacted any of you? You look like you’ve been texting someone all day.”

Lucas tries to lean over Ten and look at his phone screen, but Ten is faster and leaps off the couch and away from him. “Don’t invade my privacy! Stop before you see something you don’t wanna see.”

Xiaojun laughs from where he sits on the ground playing with Bella. “Yeah, remember last time? No one needs a recap of that.” Ten rolls his eyes at that.

Lucas throws himself over the couch where Ten just was, sighing deeply. “Sure, sure. I’ll just suffer here then, lost in the dark without a clue what’s going on...”

Xiaojun brings Bella up to the couch so she can peer up at Lucas with her huge dark eyes, resting her forepaws on his arm. The corner of Lucas’s mouth turns up in a smile and he reaches out to pet her soft furry head. Xiaojun grins when the other man does, and he presses his face into her fur.

“I promise tomorrow will be better. It’s your birthday, after all...just watch.”

Despite Xiaojun’s reassurance, Lucas feels even more uncertain when he wakes up the day of his birthday, especially when he has no idea what the day has in store.

The other WayV members had all left the dorm early in the morning with the reasoning that they had individual schedules or needed to run urgent errands. Though they gave him their birthday wishes and said they’d come back as soon as possible so they could all celebrate, Lucas was more than a little disappointed about being left alone on his birthday. At least he had the pets to keep him company...and the manager and dorm auntie. Although they were nice to have around, they weren’t exactly who he was expecting to spend the day with.

He spends a while throwing toys around for the cats and Bella to play fetch with as he lies on his stomach on the floor, his phone a few feet away from him in case someone decides to call. Maybe someone like you.

Lucas tries a few more times to get in touch with you and still can’t get through, which makes him even more stressed than he was yesterday. Maybe the situation is something more serious than he initially thought? But still, you retweeted a couple things on Twitter just that morning, so it can’t be anything dire or life-threatening.

Lucas tries not to let his feelings bleed into bitterness, though he thinks you’ve picked a fine time to suddenly want to be isolated from everyone else.

A couple hours pass, but the time seems to go even slower than humanly possible. When even the pets become tired of the games and decide to wander off or take a nap, Lucas finally decides to just get dressed and go find something to do on his own for today; he doesn’t know what just yet, but there must be something to do. Just as he’s leaving the dorm, something happens that he previously thought was impossible; he gets a text from you.

From: Y/N Yukhei!! Can you come over?

To: Y/N ?? After ignoring me for a day and a half?

From: Y/N Please. It’s important.

I promise I will make it up to you, but you have to come over right noww 🥺

To: Y/N 😪 Fine, I’ll come over

Lucas makes it over to your place not too long after he finishes texting you. He’s not sure what to expect or what you’ll have to say to him once you see each other—or what he’ll say to you. His interest is piqued even more when he gets a text from you as he’s making his way up the stairs to your apartment.

From: Y/N Just come on in, the door’s unlocked. I’m a lil busy so I can’t get it myself!!

“Busy with what?” Lucas says to himself out loud. Now more curious than he was before, he continues up the stairs until he’s at your door. When he pushes it open, he’s taken aback by the sight of you and the other WayV members standing in front of the entryway.

You’re standing in the middle of them all, holding a cake with lit candles on it and smiling widely at your shocked boyfriend. “Surprise!” you and the other men exclaim all at once. “Happy birthday, Yukhei!!”

Lucas freezes in the doorway with a growing smile on his face, looking at all of you—and your surroundings—incredulously. Your apartment has been done up rather extensively with birthday banners, balloons, streamers, and every other kind of decoration you’d expect to see at a birthday celebration.

You all sing happy birthday to him then, and he watches you and his friends with his eyes sparkling with delight and a bashful smile on his face.

“Wait...is this why you wouldn’t answer me back?” A laugh slips out of him as he covers his mouth, and he feels a bit silly, like maybe he should’ve seen something like this coming. Obviously, you’d never freeze him out on a day like this without a really good reason for it. “Y/N, you did all this for me?”

“Of course! I mean, the guys helped with decorating and setting everything else up ‘cause it was hard to do all that and bake a cake—but you know what I mean.”

Lucas leaves the entryway and steps forward now, still grinning widely. “Wah, you guys told me you didn’t know anything!”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise anymore if we told you.” Hendery laughs.

“Sorry we kept you in the dark for so long, hyung,” Yangyang chimes in, “but as you can see, we did a really good job putting everything together. So it paid off!”

“Now, blow out your candles,” you tell Lucas, bringing the cake forward.

Lucas shakes his head in happy disbelief as he looks down at your creation and chuckles to himself. “You must’ve really worked hard on this...I know baking isn’t your favorite thing to do.”

You laugh sheepishly. “Yeah, well, it took a few failed attempts to get this result, that’s for sure.”

Lucas thinks to himself for a moment, then closes his eyes and blows out the candles. Everyone claps and cheers after he does, and his answering grin is possibly the sweetest thing you’ve seen all day.

Sicheng grins mischievously and suddenly breaks up the moment by saying, “Now, can we eat?”

The rest of the day is spent with you all talking about any and everything, playing games, and watching movies, which eventually ends up with everyone falling asleep in various spots of your living room. You and Lucas got the honor of taking the couch, with Kun squeezed in beside Lucas and currently knocked out, head leaning against the back of the couch.

You and Lucas are the only ones still awake, although it probably won’t be long before you’re off to dreamland too. You can feel yourself getting sleepier, though you try your best to stay conscious. Lucas glances down at you where your body rests in his arms, and he grins to himself, placing his lips on the top of your head for a gentle kiss.

“I want us to stay like this forever, you know. Just the two of us,” he whispers close to your ear.

“Me too…” you murmur, already half-asleep against his chest despite your best efforts.

“It’s what I wished for.”

You perk up a little at that and swat at his arm where it’s wrapped around you. “Noo, don’t tell me or it won’t come true!”

Lucas giggles, and his laughter makes your body shake.

“You don’t have to worry about that when it’s already fated.”

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cluelesslesbian · 4 years ago

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Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

#did i proofread any of this?? no. did I copy and paste someone else's q&a and type over it?? yup #so if u see anything kinda wack asdhklj ignore it. i gotta go back to my homework #about me #blame the coffee

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #387

“today i woke up, & i hate myself”

What common problem have you never experienced? The loss of a close family member (that doesn't include pets). Alternatively, what's an uncommon problem you have experienced? Homelessness. Do you know anyone who opposes marriage equality? I sure do. What was the last thing you got really emotional about? Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiering. What's the longest amount of time you've been ill for? I don't really know. I don't get sick a lot at all. Who is your closest male friend? Girt. Do you know anyone who hunts for meat? Sadly. I say "sadly" because it's not like they need it. Have you ever lived with a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes, although I wasn't a technical resident. I was there all the time, though. What do you wash dishes with? Sponge, scrub brush, rag, something else? A sponge. Is there anything you prefer to do the old-fashioned way? There's probably something, but I can't think of anything. Do you put your glasses and mugs right side up or upside down on the cabinet shelf? Upside-down. What was the worst part of your childhood? My parents fighting. Have you ever seen a high school relationship last long-term? (like 10+yrs) Yeah. Do you know any cancer survivors? Quite a few. Leftover pizza for breakfast... yay or nay? Good shit, man. Do you personally know anyone who's a psychopath or sociopath? I don't think so. What is your most used kitchen appliance? Lately, it's been the apple slicer. I've been on a real apple slices + peanut butter kick lately. What is something that you would personally like to be remembered for? For being a caring person towards all living things. Have you ever been diagnosed as clinically depressed before? Yes. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun. Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? No. Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? Yeah, that'd be cool. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara, easily. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self lmao. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. My parents didn't grow up in NC. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember like... anything. What about something they definitely can count on you for? Someone to listen to encourage them. What’s one food that you want to try but haven’t yet? I've always thought macaroons look good. Do you have anything planned for the summer? No. Do you walk fast or slow? Slow. Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? No. What is a common slang word from where you live? Plural "you" does not exist. It's "y'all," lol. What’s the scariest thing you’ve accidentally found on the internet? *shrug* Probably something as a kid, going on those sketchy websites with loads of games and stuff. Thinking of every Halloween costume you’ve had, which one was the most creative? I don't think I've had any creative costumes for Halloween. What’s one random city you want to visit? It's not exactly "random" as it's a popular location, but anyway, I would love to visit Venice. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? That's a good question, actually. Maybe my niece's birthday in February? I don't remember what kind of cake it was. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? No; I don't have any. Do you like snowy winter days or do you prefer rainy days? SNOWY! Name 3 things you find most beautiful in nature: Mountains, large waterfalls, and desert dunes in the wind. If you could ask one person one questions and get a completely honest answer who would it be and what would you ask? Jason. I'd ask if he thought I was emotionally abusive. What is your favorite winter activity? Building snowmen. Who is the greatest singer who is no longer living? Freddie Mercury. What is your idea of heaven? I don't know, really... I have to ask myself IS there a heaven in eternity? Living forever just... doesn't appeal to me. "Living" is an odd word to use there, but hopefully you get it. Existing on and on and on and on seems like it'd just be a drag, but at the same time I do like the thought of feeling relentlessly happy and peaceful with my loved ones. I guess that would be my definition of it, if it does exist. What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done? ODed. Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through? Just once, on my 16th birthday because I was at Jason's place and all of his family was watching it. I had absolutely zero interest, but we wanted to hang with the family. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you watch American Horror Story? I haven't in years. It was Jason's and my first "show," and the first season was excellent. I lost interest in the second one, honestly. I'd be up for watching other seasons, though. How many relationships have you been in this year? None. What's your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That's also the only cereal where I can happily drink the milk afterwards. Twitter or Facebook? Facebook. Do you like to paint your nails? No. What's the coolest place you've ever been to? Disney World, probably. Have you ever punched anyone? No. What's something you wish you knew how to do? Cook. :/ I really need to make an effort to learn. It'd be great to not rely on a microwave for the rest of my life. What's a celebrity that everyone likes but you don't? *shrug* What food do you eat the most? Probably bread in some form or another. That really needs to stop. Green or purple grapes? Either one, but they have to be firm. I cannooooooot with soft grapes. Have you ever cried over a text? Yeah. What's the background of your phone of? My lock screen is this pretty, simplistic periwinkle color with "work on you for you" written on it. It's one I plan on keeping for probably a long time because I connect to it so deeply with my stupid damn head frequently demanding I have to improve "for Jason" to prove him wrong. Which is a very unhealthy mindset to have, I know. My home screen is a cute lil Mark edit someone made with a very similar pale blue background, so my phone is just currently an #aesthetic. Do you have a Snapchat? No. What's your favorite sports team? (if you like sports)? I don't like sports, but I'm biased towards the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team because of my dad. Last thing you ate? I had Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. Do you take a lot of selfies? Definitely not. I just hate how I look so much; it takes way too much effort for me to get an "acceptable" one. Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries. I hate cherries. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Maybe like, three. -_- Our A/C is still out, and it was like, 87 in the house last night. It was impossible to sleep. Do you listen to music daily? Not EVERY day, but usually. Biggest insecurity? My weight. Do you play video games? Not as much as I used to. I'd probably play way more if I actually had a PS4 + the games I'm DYING to have. Do you consider yourself lazy? "Yes, but a lot of it is also health related for my lack of energy and motivation." <<<< This for me as well. What recently made you laugh? I was watching a bit of The Nanny with Mom yesterday. We love that show. Do you like gummy bears? Yep. What was the last song you listened to? I'm randomly hooked on "My Nocturnal Serenade" by YOHIO. Like, I've known the song for a long time, but NOW I'm bingeing it???? Describe your mom with one word. Selfless. What's the biggest turn-off? Probably being misogynistic. But being a cocky ass is definitely high up there, too. What fish scares you the most? Mfkng whale sharks terrify me. How do you feel about snails? They're cuties!!! What's your favorite app? Pokemon GO. Would you rather time travel into the past or future? The future, to see what's coming. I feel like you could come back with some pretty valuable information. What is the saddest song you've ever heard? I think "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has to come on top. What insect do you hate the most? I was reminded that stag beetles exist last night, and omfg those. Well, "hate" is the wrong word, really, I'm just terrified of them. Would you ever have a wild animal as a pet if possible? I 110% want to rescue an opossum, emphasis on "rescue." I'm not plucking one from the wild or anything like that. I would be in HEAVEN raising one of those angels. Are there any decorations that makes you happy? (lights, candles, plants..) I love those beds decorated with fairy lights, and just Christmas lights in general. Halloween and Christmas decor tend to give me sparks of happiness when I see 'em. Does race matter to you when it comes to dating? Not at all for me. When was the last time you painted something? Not since I was still in school and took a Painting course. When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? I have NO idea. What is one question you would like an answer to? Why the worst things tend to happen to good people. Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I don't babysit, but if I was to be in charge of a kid, I'd love to teach them to play video games from my childhood. Playing Pokemon with my niece and nephew is always a blast, ahhhh. Name one flavor you like. Strawberry is pretty consistent. Name one thing you are hoping for. Venus' new terrarium soon... big sigh. I can't for the life of me find one that's a reasonable price and also adequately sized. I'm willing to put the rest of my cash into it, but Mom is helping, so I can't just buy the first one I see. Then I'd need more substrate, I seriously want a temperature gun and hygrometer, a cool hide, sticks and stuff for cover... It's going to be expensive, but I want Venus to have a truly proper environment she can thrive in. Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you were younger. Oddly enough, I can't remember the imaginary wolf that was my "friend." I say "oddly" because his whole idea was important to me as a weird-ass kid. Name one girl's name that starts with a "J" that you like. "Justine." Name one boy's name that starts with a "J" that you like. Maybe "Jaxson." Have you ever been kissed? Yeah. Have you ever feared that you would be killed? It's never been like, a fear I actively worry about. I just acknowledge it's always a possibility for anyone. What is the last great opportunity you missed? This was quite a while ago by now, but I'd say by dropping out of school, I really let photography opportunities slip since I became the newspaper photographer...

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''under the graveyard'' by ozzy osbourne

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knifenymph · 5 years ago

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hi friends i'm chillin i just needed a lil nap n a good cry n some food. i had a rough day at work today n really needed an emotional release. im gonna write out some gratitude to lift my heart

a dude came into my work today and was so insistent on getting my social media which sounds a lil pushy but the interaction was so interesting n flattering lol. i was busy when he initially noticed me n tried to get my attention so he waited to try again when i wasnt helping another customer. then he told me that my hair was just beautiful and that he needed my information so he could keep up with me n gave me his instagram n hoped i'd reach out lol

i later liked a post or two of his to give him my @ n he just commented this..... even tho i'm not interested (he's older), it's still really cool to have someone make an effort to "keep up with you" n also the fact that he met me in person first n i still seemed to be as "cool" as others make me out to be online sometimes. just made me smile

my dad took me to the bookstore yesterday n i saw that one of my old school friends that i haven't seen in almost a year just started working there n it genuinely just made my day to see her!!!!! i gave her two hugs n we just chatted n updated each other on how everything was and it just 🥺🥺🥺 she was one of the handful of ppl at school that i genuinely really liked n never felt judged by

one of my friends got the necklace she bought from me!!!!! and LOVES it!!! 💗

i bought two books yesterday n brought one of them to work with me today n got to read a bit of it during my break which really put me in such a better headspace. i really was on the verge of tears in the work bathroom earlier n managed to compose myself but being able to actively cope n take 30mins to escape into constructive coping by reading was very very grounding

i really do get along with the vast majority of my coworkers n when we aren't understaffed, i really do enjoy it there bc i get to spend my days laughing with them which is really cool

yesterday i was HEARTBROKEN because i used the very last of my favorite loose leaf tea before work and then FORGOT IT AT HOME....... but my mom came back after being gone for a 3day work trip n before stopping home she picked up some more for me bc she remembered me mentioning it a week ago 🥺 i have some steeping right now

i made a piece of art a few days ago that i reaaaallly super loved !!!! n i still love it!

i get caught up in my head n outside of my heart sometimes n everything feels like the end of the world when i haven't dedicated enough time to properly cope n honor myself. i really have been feeling not myself a lot thru out this winter n i have to remind myself that it's okay to rest n it's okay to feel okay 24/7. but i also have to remind myself that just because i'm not feeling myself does not give me permission to lose touch with my kindness. i've been a bit rough around the edges recently in interacting with others as well as posting on this platform because i've been feeling so wholly exhausted in every sense. i've not been speaking from my heart space or from a place of alignment n that wasn't my intention. i won't apologize for not doing well but i do apologize for the actions i took because of that

#op #gratitude journal

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago

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diefordarkseid replied to your post: read this quote yesterday & naturally immediately...

milo jsyk i have yet to watch this show beyond the clips you’ve been posting of winston but the more i read your posts about him im like “wow i like and relate to winston billions kinda sorta”

scully have you ever Partaken of this really convenient just-under-15-min Youtube Compilation of all winston billions’s appearances to date (seeing as tragically s5 debuts in a couple days, which is why i’m even less capable of shutting up about winston billions than usual, and btw wrol has said that of the 7 eps we’ll get [seeing as production was interrupted by pandemics but at kind of the best point @ which it could’ve interrupted] he is in every single one) like i truly forget if i’ve ever linked that

i realize there’s a lot going on with no context but it’s a delight all the same

and i absolutely Love winston billions (tragically, see: being cursed w/ this series lmao) and yes big relate. i mean you know how wrol Cannot play a heterosexual Or neurotypical character......his can’t-be-straight vibes are radiating same as ever and i am Very Adamant that winston billions is Definitely autistic, that struck me even when all the content we had was his s3 appearances lol.

also the fact that wrol gets so many Deeply Insecure characters to play lmao, that was pretty much the gist of his originally-meant-to-be-one-off Botched Interview Scene lol, taylor tells him he’s Too Self-Loathing, which they then have him basically confirm in his next appearance way down the line, which they Allegedly started writing as soon as wrol was filming that original would-be cameo lol.........we love the insecure low-self esteem wrol roles!!! he continues to nail it, he’s like yeah i got this

winston is also unusually Earnest and Honest, especially considering the show he’s in, and like, this guy is Putting In Effort to communicate and also connect with the people around him, which is not many people so far b/c he’s mainly interacted with taylor (which is Not a problem lol) and had fleeting interactions with his other 3 Named Coworkers.......he’s a touch ~sensitive~ lol like very prone to kind of capitulating to others’ Feedback, really into Taylor’s Validation which, why wouldn’t you be, but it’s a lil like “haha oh no” considering his and taylor’s first encounter was him annoying the hell out of them and them slamdunking him so hard he just goes off and presumably Has Depression about it until they get back in touch with him months later. Winston And Taylor Dynamic is essential considering a) virtually all winston’s scenes have been with taylor and b) asia kate dillon is Amazing and so is wrol of course and c) Their Communication(tm).....we are obsessed. this is a whole other extremely long tangent about taylor and winston’s mutual respect and ability to Get each other and willingness/ability to communicate well, which means A Lot considering like, everyone else finds winston offputting and does Not communicate well with him, and many people find taylor (at least initially) offputting for different but not-that-different reasons, and taylor often has to struggle for very conditional and transactional “respect” from others (they do get Some genuine respect, thank fucking god) but after his first meeting for taylor involves them reading him for filth and giving him despresso, the next thing he does is show up both Saying and Showing he’s listened to them and he’s clearly trying to Work With Them and they Work With Him and god the essays all about this scully.....the Essays......the Winnie N Tay.............the [they should absolutely fuck] and the Tayston...........

ANYWAYS ugh god we love him and wrol Does What He Does and gives the character depth and nuance and [the energies....the vibes] when nobody fucking asked him to, which is why he was originally just meant to come in and film the one minute long scene, but they liked him so much they wrote him in more episodes, and then in more episodes throughout s4, and then So Far Every Episode of s5 that we can get thus far. and i haven’t watched billions either!!!! i Have seen material outside of the Winston Content, and i Know Of material i have not actually watched, but i cannot bring myself to like, actually watch the series normally and in full lol. taylor is a main character which is absolutely deserved but i fairly loathe like all the Other main characters (including the two supposedly central ones lol.....a nightmare) and what i don’t dislike, i Simply do not care about lol........like, if i did actually watch it Properly? i’m sure it’d be fine and i’d only Sometimes want to slam my head through a wall. i know this b/c i’ve watched a couple eps almost in full (the last couple eps of s4) but like, i do not have to, so no thanks

but winston is So Good we love him and we have so many Thoughts and he is very relatable b/c like. wrol just Gives These Performances and goes above and beyond to make this seem like a fleshed out person before anybody even asked him to lol. or winston would have only ever been Quant Kid 2 in one scene in ep 3x03. and there are even other things we can derive enjoyment from, or we’d be way deeper in hell than we are already. such as: taylor mason, which is akd really honestly being so good an actor they’re carrying this show lol they very truly elevated this series by a lot singlehandedly. Their Performance/s......which is why it’s fucking brilliant that Wrolliam and Akd are scene partners virtually all the time. together they are just killing it, by which i mean, us. that’s why we’re here really, we went and discovered how amazing their scene/s together in ep 3x11 were and it was like hmm. i think i will never shut up about this for A Year And Counting

#diefordarkseid #winston billions

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holocene-days · 5 years ago

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hey jemma, would really love some tips about how you've been figuring yourself out, would love to get to that place but difficult to know where to start

ahh hi!

i should probably preface this by saying that this has been a hella long process that’s taken place over the past 2 years.

a lot of this post is gonna be me talking about my experiences bc i’m not really good at the whole second person advice thing. so i hope this is helpful in some way!! also lol sorry this got really long, i just had lots of thoughts

*tw mention of eating disorders, nothing too in depth but just like talk about anorexia and such things*

i kinda started this journey in fall of 2017 when i realized i had lost myself and was struggling severely with an eating disorder and went to see the therapist at my uni who specializes in eating disorders. she diagnosed me with anorexia which was like a major wake up call and i was like jfc who am i what am i doing to myself how did i get this way. i had lost over 20 pounds and was completely focused on how i looked and i felt so out of control of my life and my desires and ambitions that i coped with it through controlling my weight and how i looked. long story short, saw this therapist through fall of 2017 and at the beginning of december had a breakthrough, which was when i said “i don’t want to be thin, i want the things i think being thin will get me”, thus the start of my recovery began.

i then spent 8 months of 2018 studying abroad in london and traveling around europe and met the most amazing people and had some of the best experiences of my life (shout out to my girls matilde @timobeechalamet and megan @blxckisthecolor) and because i was so focused on traveling and school i didn’t really have any sense of self, which actually was quite beneficial because i was trying to recover from this traumatic thing and the distraction of travel and school were very helpful.

went back to the states in dec and graduated from uni this may. spent my last semester focused on myself and finishing my degree and spending lots of time with my friends. and here’s where i really started to work on myself.

i’ve always had lots of anxiety around school and perfection (which is why i initially started seeing a therapist 4 years ago) and it took me a lil while but i’ve realized that i don’t feel these kinds of pressures anymore because i’m out of this environment which was stifling and stressful, i’m able to be myself more. which brings us up to the present day where i now feel like i have the time and comfortable environment to enjoy myself and explore new things.

1. focus on your passions. what do you love? what do you love to do? are there classes you can take to learn more? books you can read? my big love is acting so i got a degree in it and then went to LA this summer for a month and a half to go to a film acting school and through that program learned SO much about what i want from myself as an artist. i watch lots of movies and series. find way to incorporate what you love into your daily life. take just 30 minutes for it and just focus on it. i find that keeping a tag on here of things that inspire me artistically can be really helpful bc if i’m ever feeling uninspired or stuck i can go back and look through the posts and get mentally back on track with my passion.

2. writing. i’ve been keeping a journal since i was about 15. i don’t really make diary entries in it but i love lists and making lists about concepts or themes or aesthetics. i recently made a list of all of my favorite meals this way in case i don’t know what to make, i have a basis to go back to of things i know my body loves. some nights i just come up with an idea and i take out my journal and just write and don’t edit myself. just keep the ideas going. no detail is too small. it’s just really nice to have a place with all my thoughts and ideas and feelings. writing is really cathartic for me.

3. bullet journaling. my bullet journal is separate from my other journal and in it i keep my month and mind in check. i draw out each month and write down thoughts and goals of things i want to do for the month. i have pages about the law of attraction and new things i want to try and quotes about acting and being an artist. it’s such a great way for me to customize my life in a sense and have a book of my current life and thoughts to refer to.

4. your space. i am that girl who always has clothes on her bedroom floor, and everything is typically very messy. but that shit stresses me out so much. and so in an effort to try to have more peace in my life, i’m trying to do better about it. literally yesterday i deep cleaned and redecorated half of my bedroom and put in a bookshelf from my dad’s office and put lots of plants and books on it and wow it really transformed my room. it was SUCH a simple thing that took like an hour but really changed the whole vibe of my room. your room is you lil home in ur apartment or house and it needs to be your happy, chill space where you feel comfortable. putting in effort in your room seriously changes so much about your mental attitude. i’m trying to get in the habit of making my bed each morning and it’s been v helpful!!

5. ya body. i think taking care of your body is so incredibly important in your self discovery journey because it affects how your brain works and your outlook on yourself and the greater world. bc of my ed my sense of body has been real fucked for so long (i’m talking like 10 years :))))) ). here’s how i got to a better place with it 1. lots of therapy lol. 2. reminding myself that my body is a living, breathing animal that requires food to function and movement to feel good. breaking the idea of movement (i.e. working out) away from the idea of being skinny has been hard but intensely helpful and effective in the way i view my body. i focus on movement. not working out, not burning calories. things like walking, biking, dancing, ice skating are all physical activities i really enjoy that don’t feel like working out. food is a whole other beast. i totally still struggle with food sometimes but it’s getting better. i’ve been focusing a lot on intuitive eating over the past couple months (these posts by @heavyweightheart have been so incredibly helpful in teaching me about this) and that food list i made a few days ago is also really helpful. my advice would be eat what feels good to your body and makes you have energy and feel good. stay active in your life and move in ways that also feel good. the more i take care of my body, the better my mind feels and the more in touch with myself i am.

6. back off instagram. that shit is... not great. i mean, it def has its moments (and memes) but overall i just feel like insta is a place where people post photos of their “perfect life moments” and want their friends to validate it. and then there’s all those influencers on there and so many insta stories and it’s just really overwhelming. if you really like instagram and don’t feel like it’s anxiety inducing then def keep it! but also know that it’s okay to step back from it for a lil bit. it really helped me to feel more present and not continuously compare myself to others and feel a need to post if a cool thing happened. it’s been nice to be more private and keep things for myself.

7. patience. remembering that things take time and what you want is achievable you just have to keep goings. try new things. change your approach, allow yourself to fail. learn from the failure and do better next time.

8. kindness. towards yourself and others. really putting in the effort to be kind to people in your everyday life makes SUCH a difference and really brightens their day and yours as well. putting out good vibes brings back good vibes, which then allows you to feel better about yourself and more in tune with others around you.

i’m going to stop this here bc this is so fucking long at this point lol i’m so sorry for that but i hope some of this was helpful pls let me know!!

#tw: eating disorder #ask

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 149: Villain Island

Previously on BnHA: Twice confronted Nighteye with a clone of Rappa. Nighteye proceeded to beat his ass using rubber seal stamps, incidentally revealing his surprisingly cut washboard abs. Night then blasted away part of Twice’s mask, forcing Twice to retreat in a panic. His personality disorder started to get the better of him, but then Toga showed up and tied a bandana around the missing part of his mask, and it calmed him down and was also the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Twice briefly flashbacked to the League of Villains meeting when Tomura announced that Togawice would be lent out to the Eight Precepts. Twice was against this because it turns out he feels responsible for introducing Overhaul to the League and getting Magne killed (and Compress maimed, but no one cares about him). Toga wasn’t keen on it either, but Tomura somehow won them both over by smiling and making it seem like he had a plan in the works. Whether he actually does is anyone’s guess, but damned if it wasn’t convincing. Anyway, so now Toga and Twice are fed up with the Precepts’ general incompetence, though, and are ready to turn on them. And I’ve never been so excited for a plot twist in my whole damn life.

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Overhaul meets Togawice for the first time and asks them about their quirks. The Precepts then ask if Tomura plans on betraying them, and Twice and Toga are all, “[shifty eyed glance] nope, nothing to see here. no impending betrayals on our end, no sirree.” This apparently is good enough for Overhaul, who asks them to sit tight and wait for further orders. Back in the present, Irinaka makes one last-ditch effort to crush the remaining heroes in his accursed hallway. However, Toga gets him to reveal his true body, and Deku and Aizawa immediately attack. With Aizawa having finally neutralized his quirk, Irinaka is detained. We then cut to Mirio, with time rewinding back to show what happened immediately after he went forward on his own and caught up with Overhaul.

But the real star of this chapter is the omake at the end. Kurogiri takes it upon himself to improve solidarity among the League by taking them all on a mandatory outing to an uninhabited island to engage in a survival trial. Tomura spends the entire time lounging on a couch, Dabi unleashes his inner Bear Grylls, Toga steals a bikini, and tbh I kind of wish we could get an entire manga series of just this. But we’ll just have to settle for these four pages, I guess.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 178, now. If I’d known yesterday’s Superbowl would end up somehow being more boring than this entire arc, I would have never bothered taking the day off. But, well, hindsight.)

no, I don’t mind at all

by the way what exactly is going on here with Twice and these handcuff-looking things that I’m not actually sure are handcuffs. because that cord looks more like an earjack cord. but why is it coming from the bracelet like that. I basically have so many questions about this image, and am now also more closely examining exactly why Twice chose a skintight bodysuit as his villain costume

(ETA: I have no excuse. he’s fought with them before and everything; I just never noticed.)

more villain flashbacks!!

but this time it’s T&T introducing themselves to the Eights

“I’m never gonna forgive you, so it’s a pleasure to be working with you” ahaha. classic Twice. this is the kind of iconic bullshit that I’m reading this manga for

Overhaul’s apologizing for killing Magne and says he didn’t want to

but if you really felt that way you could have easily put her back together again, you sociopath

oh my god look at this though??!

holy shit. so she really is another canon trans character, and it’s treated seriously too. I mean, obviously it’s not perfect, and it also sucks that she got killed off, but I’m so used to LGBT manga characters being treated as comedic relief at best, so this frank statement of “hey you misgendered my friend, get it right” and it being totally serious is actually really refreshing

also what is Viz going to do when they get to this chapter. most likely change it up entirely I’ll bet. fucking Viz

anyway, so Twice is all “so now what” and Overhaul says he and Toga just have to follow his orders

he’s also asking for the details of their quirks

but Toga is all “we’ll tell you if and when it’s needed because fuck you”, and have I mentioned I love her???

but holy shit though

bud. are you like, okay. jesus christ

so Twice has decided he hates this and he’s not going to say anything

so naturally the very next thing he does is explain his quirk in great detail!!

holy shit this is an unexpected info dump

once again Horikoshi is all “I see your questions and I will answer them in due time.” so it was a tape measure!! has he had these this whole time?

just went back and checked. yes he has. unbelievable

still waiting on an explanation for that skintight bodysuit though

some of this goes against what we previously knew about his quirk, though. this is the first time a two-thing limit has been brought up, and that seems to go against the whole Calvin and Hobbes “I made a bunch of clones of myself” thing that we know he did way back when (and which he’s also referencing here, as I assume it’s the reason he no longer makes copies of himself). maybe the limit only applies to things/people that aren’t him?

this reminds me a lot of Momo’s quirk in that he needs to know a lot about the object before duplicating it. which means he’s definitely a lot more intelligent than he sometimes comes off as

I mentioned a couple chapters ago that Toga is extremely intelligent as well, and now I’m wondering if Tomura realizes just how lucky he is to have all these smart crazy people on his side. we’ve seen the quality of Overhaul’s own followers, by contrast, and the League most definitely has them beat

anyway! so Toga’s staring at Twice in annoyance for going off like that right after she made a big deal of not telling Overhaul anything

she says he made her look stupid

OMG YESSSS so now she’s going into the details of her own quirk after all omggggg

look at the damn hoops Horikoshi’s making himself jump through all because he made the decision not to do any villain bios. well it’s your own damn fault

I’m starting to understand why Deku keeps all these notebooks

the bit about the transformation time being proportionate to the amount of blood she consumes is extremely interesting and relevant, and now it makes sense why she had that weird gizmo to suck as much blood as possible

I would estimate she got maybe a cup of Ochako’s blood, so we can assume she can transform into her for up to 1 day if needed. but as for Deku, we saw in chapter 114 that she only managed to get like a couple drops worth

one drop is about .05 ml, which is about .0002 cups. so she can transform into Deku for .04% of one day unless I fucked that math up (which is highly possible)

what is that, like a couple seconds?? because if so, holy shit but I’ve been vastly overestimating her ability to wreak mindbendy havoc on our heroes

also does she have to drink the blood right before the transformation for best results? if she drinks someone’s blood but then doesn’t transform into that person right away, does she eventually lose the ability even if she doesn’t transform into them? or can she store that “energy” and use it whenever she likes?

basically this is awesome to be getting so much information here, but now if anything I’ve just got more questions

(ETA: for real. either I really did calculate that wrong, or she got more of Deku’s blood than I thought, or Horikoshi is the one that fucked up the math lol. oh well, it’s easy enough to just shrug and go along with it)

anyway! I almost forgot there was still a chapter going on

so now Overhaul’s henchman is casually asking if Tomura is planning to betray them. well duh

very convincing. well done

anyway, Overhaul seems satisfied for the time being, but he’s telling them they’ll have to stay in the underground HQ until they receive their orders from him. so basically house arrest

and now he’s leaving and Mimic is having a total power trip

seriously dude, simmer down

he’s babbling on about the yakuza getting revenge and “taking back society’s reins from the shadows” and fulfilling the dream of their bedridden boss

and now I think we’re back in the present

and this lil fellow is, as you’ll recall, the guy who’s currently controlling all the shifty walls of the underground HQ while all hopped up on quirk-enhancers

Toga and Twice are having a conversation mid-somersault about how they’re gonna let the heroes take out the Precepts for them. I think

meanwhile Aizawa is asking Deku if he also heard the crazy voice coming from the walls which is, as Deku surmises, Irinaka’s voice

ohhhh I see, if they can pinpoint where the voice is coming from then they can find Irinaka’s real body and like punch him until he quits being an asshole and dragging out the arc with his stupid quirk

do you know, I just realized that basically this entire thing is his fault, and just like that he’s my least favorite character. that’s right. you beat out Stain and even Mineta, because Mineta only ever hijacks like a page or two at a time at most. certainly not a dozen chapters in one go

but anyway, the voice is echoing too much for them to pinpoint it

meanwhile the cops are freaking out because they’re about to get crushed

I can’t figure out why Mimic didn’t just actually crush them all to begin with and be done with it. unless it’s just that he didn’t want the full force of the law bearing down on their organization and seeking justice for dozens of cop murders

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS TOGA IS TAKING MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

NEVER SEND A BUNCH OF SO-CALLED HEROES TO DO A VILLAIN’S JOB

HOLY SHIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW. IRINAKA IS SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY AND DEKU SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD IT AND IS NOW RUSHING TOWARD THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE

AHHHHH DID HE DO IT???

I CAN’T TELL IF HE GOT HIM. SURELY THAT SMASH WASN’T JUST FOR SHOW

OH MY GODDDDD

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

AND T&T ARE WAVING AT HIM GLEEFULLY AS HE FALLS

I LOVE EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT

the amount of relief I’m feeling right now can accurately be described as “overwhelming” and it’s amazing

because he’s SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PERSON, Deku is catching Irinaka as he falls, because this is BnHA where a fall from a great height onto a bunch of rocks actually will kill you

and please tell me the rooms are back to normal now omg

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THANK YOU MANGA GODS

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

MIRIOOOOOOOOOO

holy shit. holy fucking shit, finally. finally

FLYING SOLO AGAINST THE FINAL BOSS HOLY SHIT

so is this the part where we find out Mirio is fucking dead omg. holy shit. but you know what, I don’t even care, because we’re finally up to the good stuff and no more bullshit. I feel another binge coming on

BONUS:

oho, what’s this? “special jump outing”?

I don’t know where to fucking start omg

first of all, I’ve actually been impressed with their solidarity thus far so this is news to me

second, I can’t with how their idea of team bonding is “let’s build a house from scratch together on an uninhabited island”

third KUROGIRI WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

cutie

I swear to god if they keep up these antics I’m downgrading their name from “League of Villains” to “Villain Squad Jr.”

Tomura is trying to remind us all that he’s For Reals Evil but idk

on the one hand, we actually have seen this guy kill a man with his bare hands. but on the other hand, it was revenge for Magne, and he hasn’t killed anyone else that I can think of, aside from probably his parents by accident

and also my favorite of all the villains is the only one who is for sure a psychotic serial killer, so it could just be that I don’t actually care

so Kuro is telling Tomura to be less strange, and announcing that the first order of business is to secure a water source

are you telling me you came to this random island to build a house and you don’t even know where you’re building it yet

and now there appears to have been some kind of cut, and Tomura is drinking ginger ale. fucking ginger ale. you’re not evil at all, are you

I can’t believe I was actually worried about what these guys might do to Bakugou if they kept him. their idea of torture is probably less fingernail-pulling and more “let’s make him watch a bunch of Kay Jewelers commercials until he cracks.” which to be fair would break me pretty quickly

(ETA: although Tomura did get pretty hardcore there with Overhaul at the end! but I mean, Overhaul was a total prick you guys. that doesn’t count)

and now he’s tied Kurogiri to a tree and is just making him warp over whatever they need

everyone please look at this panel of Dabi wearing overalls

“unexpectedly into it”

this is the most damning evidence yet that he’s definitely related to Shouto

you go Dabi. I feel like he’s learned all about how to survive on a tropical island by like watching Moana a bunch of times or something

consider the coconut, consider its tree, we use each part of the coconut, that’s all we neeeeed

meanwhile Tomura is reading a magazine on a couch on the beach

Toga is wading in the ocean and her overalls got wet so she’s changing into a bikini

did we ever confirm she was really responsible for those serial murders. it could have been someone else. you never know

anyway she stole the bikini and Kurogiri is acting all shocked like “omg this girl really stole a bikini” but like. what else is she gonna do. pay for it like a normal person

don’t tell me you guys were actually legitimately leasing that bar this whole time. Kurogiri probably actually had his liquor license

so Toga is legit frolicking, and Tomura is playing a PSP or something. with the hand still on his face. how can you even see the screen

and now Dabi has caught them all lazing about and he’s throwing a fit

he’s even doing teamwork

now he’s lecturing Dabi on what’s really important

I think they probably would have turned off the Kay Jewelers commercials after like five of them or so and been all “okay I hope you learned your lesson.” and then if he still didn’t want to join them they would have been all “fine then but it’s your loss” and given him a ginger ale and sent him back home

so now Kurogiri is rescinding all rules and letting them all do their thing

Villain Squad Jr. it’s fucking official

and that’s the end of the strip. but the bonus material is still continuing because FA has been doing these translations of the character book! and the next page is amazing oh my god

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IN THE FUTURE WHEN I INEVITABLY START TO WRITE FANFIC ABOUT THIS STUPID ADDICTIVE SERIES THIS IS A FUCKING REFERENCE GOLDMINE

right away I feel like a good 75% of fanfics are slightly off because U.A. has compulsory Saturday classes. say goodbye to your weekend getaway antics

they don’t actually have much homeroom time with Aizawa in the morning. what subject does he actually teach? I need someone to tell me, I refuse to believe Horikoshi hasn’t established this in canon by now. it’s probably somewhere in this very book

(ETA: I STILL NEED TO KNOW THIS. I’M STILL GOING TO INSIST IT’S ART IF HORIKOSHI DOESN’T CORRECT ME)

anyway, that’s it for today, but that was awesome. on I go to chapter 150

#bnha #boku no hero academia #twice (bnha)#toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #kurogiri #dabi #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #in hindsight I think chevy 'REAL PEOPLE!!! NOT ACTORS!!!' commercials would be even worse torture than kay jewelers #though that might have aroused too much rage in him and accidentally powered him up #although they could have immediately put him back to sleep by just making him watch the damn superbowl last night #not to beat a dead horse but my GOD that was bad #ah well it's all in the past now #I'm gonna go finish this class 1-A band AU arc

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lunestival · 6 years ago

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🎀 12/6 🎀

i played pkmn all day and took down koga sabrina & silph co. my team is eevee (lunetta) ninetails (dawn) vileplume (hibiscus) dewgong (crumb) nidoqueen (queeni) and clefable (ichigo) and we are all fairy princesses even crumb who is a boy

was feelin sick since i woke up yesterday but i made a concerted effort to take care of myself on my days off so i’d feel better when i go back 2 work tmrrow.. i had a lot of stuff i had to get done on my days off but i resisted doing it for my health. didn’t drop off my rent on the 1st cause i said i’d do it on my days off LOL didn’t happen.....gonna have to wait till monday cause i work 9-6 2morrow and i’ll be working the whole time they’re open pfft but it’s ok. i can deal w/ the late fees. but i can’t put it off any longer I CAN’T

i wish i woulda been more conservative w/ my money this last month but i bought the limited edition kh3 kairi coat which was...............300$ and that doesn’t even include shipping LOL it releases in like april and by that point i won’t even need a coat much longer but i wasn’t gonna miss out |: @ me why ya like this. i really want to get smash 2morrow b/c the storymode already looks like its gonna make me cry and everyone’s so excited about it but. I DON’T KNO IF I HAVE 60$ TO SPARE RIGHT NOW. LUNE HAS A VET APPT AND THAT’LL BE AT LEAST 75$ + 425$ RENT o well i guess i gotta wait till next week when i get paid :-( or. maybe i won’t LMAOOOO (i’m excited joker got in even tho i personally am not a huge fan of persona b/c it’s not great 2 gays and girls aka me but this means sora might get in)

talked 2 semmy and kitty&davey and eric a lil bit 2day so i wasn’t lonely. i always worry i’ll get lonely around the holidays living by myself but i don’t need 2 worry so much b/c i don’t need to b around other ppl physically to feel companionship. it’s weirdly engrained in me 2 think so but. i have never been that way. maybe it’s b/c my whole family will be away for crustmas this year. but if i have my hubby i will be happy

i am a goblin who throws all her shit on the floor and i really need to clean the apartment LOL but lune likes when there’s a bunch of stuff to play with so i don’t feel so bad. i needed to do some shopping so i don’t starve but i couldn’t get out wahhhhh. maybe tomorrow after work.

i love my new haircut but i know my daddy (REAL BIOLOGICAL FATHER) is not going to like it. he’s so “old fashioned” as my mama says, he wants a feminine daughter with long pretty hair, he thinks a pixie cut can’t be feminine. he liked my long hair so much but? that was never me. sometimes it felt ok, but it was too hard to deal with and take care of. and a pixie cut is so cute.....it’s so sweet and innocent, it’s princessy. i hope my daddy will realize that.

i wanted to do some doodling but couldn’t get out of bed for long enuff. art block has been overwhelming lately so i was gonna try to work thru it on my days off but i might wait till after the holidays. lays on floor. one step at a time.

lunetta is sticking her head in the mcdonalds bag

#personal

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rigelmejo · 3 years ago

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Little updates:

Focusing on my reading again

This also includes more often taking advantage of Pleco’s dictation feature: you can highlight a word/phrase OR a whole sentence or paragraph or the entire chapter and have it dictate it out loud. The sentence one specifically though is a good way for me to do some “focused repetitive listening” of new words without so much work put in (compared to A-B repeater apps where you have to find the audio and import it and also find the right line and can’t see the transcript matched up at the same time unless you open another app - tho the benefit is a real voice instead of Pleco’s machine voice). And a reminder to self repeated listening/repeated word exposure specifically suggests 12 repetitions to remember a word. That probably means over a longer period of time, but if I see a rarer word I want to remember it might be worth repeating the audio a few times.

I am already seeing a benefit from the last couple months of study in my reading ability - I’ll mention in a moment.

Also yesterday in an effort to improve reading skills I read 6 chapters of a Goosebumps novel translated into Chinese. I figured being a kids novel would mean easier reading level and More repetition so I’d learn the words faster. Mostly that assumption was correct: chapters took less time to read, and vocab was often repeated and restated so I have been picking up pretty much all the new words in the novel. However I did run it through the vocab-difficulty tool I use and for 2000 words (the amount I test for novels) it scored 1.9 (a lower score is harder). For context that is harder than 小王子 (around 2) and about as easy as 盗墓笔记1 (which as also about 1.9). The main difference is I think dmbj was always written for teens+ so there’s a lot of vocab that does not repeat often, meaning it takes me more time to learn all the words. So a kids book is def the better choice for repetition, even tho it looks like Goosebumps might be vocab wise just as varied lol (which I’m surprised by a lil).

Anyway after 6 chapters I got bored a bit since I already like specific Chinese novels so. I went to find one of my fave pingxie fanfic writers and try to read one of their stories again! They wrote 寒舍 (which is a touch easier than priest just in the sense of no real obscure references or descriptions but vocab level around the same level of difficulty as 镇魂). But hanshe is like 150 chapters and I’m only 1/3 through so I started a different fic of theirs that’s only around 30 chapters (much shorter): 夜半衣寒 by 夏灬安兰. To my surprise this story is MUCH easier to read this time around, compared to the last time I tried to read it (around February). This time grammar is easy, specifics are fine, I know most words and there’s usually just 1-2 new words every few sentences (which I probably could guess but I’m looking up and repeating a few times for memory’s sake). The chapters are 23 pages in Pleco and taking me about 30 min to read with all the lookup I’m doing (which makes sense since this author when I was rush-reading a few months ago with just lookups then move on I could read 20-Pleco pages in 20-25 min). Anyway just. I can notice reading has gotten a bit easier. Last time I checked out this story it was too much of a new-vocab struggle to deal with (first chapter had been taking an hour versus this times 30 minutes). Whereas this time it was fairly obvious most of the new words were on computer terms (so simple words I just don’t know them by heart yet but I’ve seen some of them in guardian recently) or radio or rental words. Other than that I’m familiar with a lot of the words.

In a way I’m sort of just doing my usual reading strategy: bouncing between “significantly above my level” (guardian) then “now it’s easier and around my level or just above” then once I get sick of easier stuff I’ll bounce back to “significantly harder” again. I do this sort of so my lower-base of what’s “easier reading” for me gradually keeps getting higher level, while the harder challenging stuff I read is to drag my reading level up a bit faster when I’m impatient and practice goal-reading-level stuff. Easier-level was graded readers, then Xiao Wangzi, now it’s goosebumps, I’m trying to drag it up to 夏灬安兰 (or dmbj, or some simpler written danmei tbh like maybe sci mystery? which I tried to read the other day and was fine just a Lot of new police terms I wasn’t ready to bulk learn yet).

A second goal obviously the last few months has been to drag up my listening skills with more listening practice. I’ve been doing that with listening reading and just more listening included with what I do. Like now some repeated listening of some sentences. Well guardian certainly helped, but also other audiobooks still show me the skill is still significantly weaker than my reading skills.

I found a really nice sherlock set of audiobooks lately in chinese. And listened and it frustrated me I could follow some parts perfectly but a majority (since it’s descriptions) I just heard isolated words and struggled to guess what might be happening. I found the books in chinese recently and I’ve been contemplating reading those too, just so I can practice improving listening skills with the audiobook more. Especially because as SOON as I glanced at the novel I noticed I DID know all the words in the first paragraph! So when I listened to the audiobook and only heard some isolated words in the start? That is frustrating because I Should know those words! I know how to read them! I should get to a listening level where I can also hear them and recognize them fine lol! I know it just means my reading ability I’m better at improving lol. But still, it would be nice to practice learning how to listen and recognize all the words I already know how to read, so that those skills align better lol. Also the related issue to that is - because I Can read many words I can’t hear and recognize, I wonder if listening to an audiobook like that (with words I visually know but don’t know the pronunciation of) can even help me improve if I don’t have prior context of the plot. Or if listening-only will only cause improvement if I’ve already read those chapters before and know the plot of what I’m listening to. In which cause guardian or silent reading audiobooks I could learn from, svsss I could learn from etc. But sherlock audiobook I couldn’t, since i haven’t actually read the stories yet so I don’t know what the vast majority of the plot for specific stories is...

Read 17 Chinese chapters this month! Pretty good for doing most of that yesterday lol! ToT

#July #july progress

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hellopro-go · 7 years ago

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[Album Review]: ⑮ Thank you, too - Morning Musume’17

So the heavily anticipated Momusu album was officially released yesterday-ish! I hopped on my computer immediately after classes to snatch it and get a taste of more modern post Tsunku-makes-everything Morning Daughter fakeness realness. Click through the read more to get more juicy details.

Tracklist-

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) 2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta 3. CHO DAI 4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai 5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go! 6. Style of my love 7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban 8. Seishun Say A-HA 9. Wakaindashi 10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ 11. Dokyuu no Go Sign 12. Koi wa Toki ni 13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) 14. BRAND NEW MORNING 15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary Ver.)

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) Coming right back in our faces with the tune that captured our hearts is Envy Envy, but SPARKLIER! Jealously is a tune with the funk-ish tune that would usually be gifted to a group such as Ju=Ju, but Tsunku-papa decided that it was time for a switcharoo. The vocals this time are much more clear, is the first thing I noticed of the Album Version, which is odd because usually albums from Up-Front are very over-mixed and muffled. This lets us know that there was a lot of effort put into the cleaning of this wonderful piece with a break down of an early-underground j-rap vibe. One thing that will always fascinate me about this sound is how the string instruments used here brings such a feeling of elegance, that it makes me feel like I’m rich while listening to it. Surely Tsunku understands and executes luxury in his spot on composition this time around.

2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta My first impression was a woah! from the beginning instrumentals. Immediately I was thrown back into the early 2013-2014 EDM songs that Tsunku used to produce for Momusu such as [What is LOVE?], and I fell in love until.... They started to sing. One thing I’m not crazy about is when management pitches this intense, powerful instrumental and then they break it into this... childish, “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” kind of melody. It’s done so much that it’s almost expected, but they got me this time, I’d say. Around the 3-minute mark, the melody gets very enjoyable for me, with more opera in the BG and a ballad reminiscent of The Vision. The fact that Morning Musume isn’t afraid of using soft high notes nowadays is great too.

3. CHO DAI Bitch I love fart-sounding electronic noises in my songs and it sounds like sarcasm but it’s high key not. One pattern that I’m starting to notice and it’s starting to irk me is the constant use of “one word” LONG REST “one word”. It was very refreshing with [Seishun Kozou wa Naiteiru], but after being repeated about a hundred times, it’s just boring and needs to go. This song is a good example of what me and my friends call “Scrapped Melodies” because at some parts it just sounds like Narcissus but slightly different. If you want a clearer example of a scrapped melody, think of Brainstorming(@0:37) and Wakuteka(@1:00) with that one farking melody that’s like... the same melody.

4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai This is the song I’d been anticipating the most on this album. After watching the recent Budokan footage of the song and my friend drilling me about how “Maachan fucked Sakura’s shit up here like do you not see that??!!”, The song grew on me to the point where I’d listen to the concert performance like it was an official track. It was also a great decision to keep this song behind bars until 2017 because in 2015 Riho sang some lines that were just... not her strong point... honestly (@1:17 & 3:45). But other than the lack of charisma that lives bring to this song, this is a good put!

5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go! Here We Go... again with the “one word” LONG REST “one word”. Even though this song is a bop. There’s something about the subtle nature of this song that drew me in, despite it being a tad bit on the plainer side of a Momusu song. Though I’m still a bit thrown off by Chiichan, she knows how to blend well to the point of merging with the background. The dance, might I add, is just basically Angerme’s Ai Sae but slightly different, pffft.

6. Style of my love Very stylish! Brings me back to something akin to [Senobi] in a way. With a melody of an early action anime opening (I’d say Inuyasha, or a classic fantasy-shoujo anime,) This song knows how to advertise itself. With Haruna having a few solos in this, it really shines and radiates a glow to the instrumentals. The dance break was a bit underwhelming, but do I hear Maria??? Wow, she’s really growing into her voice. I have very few qualms about this song, and I’m generally pleased.

7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban Shamefully, I found myself whispering “Motto, Mitsumete...” multiple times through the day. And finally we don’t have those classic Momusu heavy harmonies on like 99% of the darn song, and they lowered it to a 97%, but I’m tapping my foot, waiting y’all. This song is nearly as stylish as Style of my Love, but theres some feeling of living luxurious, yet lonely and discontent. I’m digging the story in it, even though I know the lyrics must be some irrelevant diarrhea.

8. Seishun Say A-HA Gonna get this out here first: I didn’t like the song when I first heard it a few times. Then it grew on me a bit and I can generally say I have a love-hate with it LOL. LIKE IM SORRY, BUT this song sounds like a pirate song. Like everyone in momusu is a stank ass pirate with scurvy and they’re having a sailing montage to find treasure. But it’s... it’s catchy for some reason. ugh. why @ Tsunku

9. Wakaindashi Damn do I love Duu and this song in general, but the soft EDM is bothering me for some reason?? We are back with the “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody and I’m still unnerved by “You can get fatter or skinnier” line like... why.... But this song is CUTE for Duu and therefore I support it. I also like the choreo in many ways. Duu controlling the wave is so cute. The dance break was pure.

10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ Me while reading that Haga’s gettin a lot of lines cause its a quartet: AYYYYY Me listening to the song finally: wtf this is Like ok I like the fact that it’s more rock orientated but it’s like... a lil boring. Especially the whole “Mougamandekinaiwa” all fast and shit.. It didn’t fit. I feel like this is a early rock vocaloid song. But I enjoy the fact that Tsunku is experiementing with different genres. He really loves his job. #come back papa

11. Dokyuu no Go Sign I love this song wtf... It’s like a near perfect combo of rock and EDM. Maybe if momusu would stop with the heavy ass harmonies it’d show a little more of it’s capability. The style of the song makes momusu seem more united despite the crazy battle for center currently going on. And Miki getting more lines is chill af (They’re realizing Mizuki is gettin old lol). The blend of musical elements along with the message of the song makes more a good pick-me-up, hype yourself up tune! PLUS THE LAYERING OF HARMONIES INTO THE HOLIEST DANCE BREAK TUNE IS MY ACTUAL SHIT. The bridge after that is so celebratory and invokes a feeling of greatfulness, I love it.

12. Koi wa Toki ni It goes from a video game level to where you gotta sneak around characters to the classic “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody... again. I’m really trying to get into this song but it’s very hard. It’s very plain and barely has any shine to it. One good thing I can say is that during the instrumental break, I’m reminded of early Kikuo songs and uh... I’m a whore for Kikuo so I fell for the break like a klutz. The use of unusual sounds here gives it a spacey vibe.

13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) NGL Joshikashi gets more and more cringey each time (especially Nonaka Miki’s verse), so this is a song on the album I’ll rarely indulge in. I love the fact that Maria incorporates her love for baseball to her verse even though she’s not my oshi. I value her a lot LMAO. But other than that, it’s a good song to familiarize yourself with the girls’ voices.

14. BRAND NEW MORNING god I hate this song, So Jean Luc Ponpon is deemed worthy enough after Mukidashi was released and gained popularity, and they bring him back for another round of Tsunku vs. Ponpon and this time, in my opinion, he flops. Brand new morning just isn’t my cup of tea no matter how many times I listen to it, and usually I can make my brain like an H!P song if I listen to it a bunch of times. Something about this song is very lacking and monotone, and doesn’t really get the feeling of a new Era across to me. If anything, this is the Jealousy Era to me (because everyone in Momusu is salty rn).

15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary ver.) I still really like this song, even with the updated singers. It’s much more fine tuned than back in the day, which really shows how music production has changed over just a span of 20 years! Amazing how fast the world progresses, isn’t it? All I can say as a closing note for this updated piece is that I’m glad Tsunku didn’t turn it into some crazy ass dubstep wub-wub version of the original. Thank you Tsunku papa.

OVERALL: I’d rate this album a 7.2/10. I feel like there could have been much more style variation in the music, track by track, especially because Momusu is so “highly esteemed”. These girls need to tackle other genres with how far they’ve come, especially since the older eras would bounce between stuff like [Memory~ Seishun no Hikari] all the way to [Onna ni Sachi Are] back in the day.

I’m also hoping that next time around, it isn’t Mizuki, Oda & the Backup Dancers. That’s one thing that bothers me the most out of his album.

Till next time!

#morning musume #morning musume 17 #thank you too #album review #tsunku #gossip #review

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