#purgatory husbands

[dragon1d]

Obsessed with how Sam tells Bobby that Benny is a buddy of Dean's and Benny goes "a GOOD buddy 😏"

[bennylafittelove]

The thing that always breaks my heart the most is just before Dean sends Benny to Purgatory and they embrace, Benny has a very brief smile on his face, almost as if he’s thinking, “I love you.” and it KILLS me!!

[demonictacobeard]

Lilith, surprised when Adam’s contact picture shows up on her phone: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re supposed to be dead aren’t you? I felt the deal break months ago

Adam, who got sick of his and Lucifer’s UST last night and made a move: I mostly lived bitch, I just had to ask YOU PICKED THE BORING ASS BEACHES OF PURGATORY OVER SEX WITH THAT MAN FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

[kayit-z]

Everything that you will be doing from this point on is for the safety of the eggs

Disregard your friendships

There is no room for sympathy in this land

[reddrawnart]

Got that murder rizz, you know?

[apendice-chileno]

— What did you say about my husband?

— Erm look, first of all, he was my husband first eh.

[kissnpunch]

this scene is so… cute in their story of love, because q!cellbit gave him a cup of tea to catch his attention, q!roier saw that and gave him one too attentive of his husband actions and words, after knowing the competition was done, q!roier instantly said “sorry, sorry” and q!cellbit, catching q!roier just followed his instincts and was feeling a little bit guilty (that is a lot coming for a perfect killer), said it was okay, how he would judge him if q!roier supported him at his worst?.

[bennylafittelove]

Benny looked at the hunter in front of him, waiting for the next move. Sam glared at the vampire as he paced trying to figure out what the smartest decision here would be.

“Sam, just let me go and walk away from this,” Benny finally spoke, his baritone Louisiana accent sounding louder than it was in the silent room.

“Let you go. Why, so you can hurt someone? You think I’m dumb enough to take that risk?” Sam spat.

“You think these ropes can hold me? C’mon, Sam I thought you were a hunter. You’re smarter than that,” Benny almost chuckled as he glanced down at the ropes binding his wrists and wrapped around his chest.

“If you could get out you would’ve done that already,” Sam scoffed, still pacing.

“If I’d wanted to get out of here I could’ve by now, jackass. Ain’t a matter of if I can or not,” Benny said, flexing against the ropes ever so slightly so that Sam could hear them start to break to prove his point.

Sam paused. The vampire wasn’t acting or speaking in a threatening way, just simply stating what he believed was the truth. He thought for a moment.

“You’re telling me you intentionally let me capture you?” he asked.

“Sure,” Benny smiled slightly, a very charming smile.

“Why?”

“Because Dean wanted us to resolve this tension between us. I figured I owed him that. Try to make peace with his little brother and try to make the best of things so he can be happy, or you kill me and send me back to Purgatory. I don’t think he’d be happy about that second option, chief, but if it helps you get passed your hate and preconceived notions about me, then by all means,” Benny said and tilted his head back, exposing his throat. “Get it over with.”

Sam stared at the vampire for a moment, shocked at what he was saying. No vampire he’d ever come across had willingly let themselves be captured with the high chance of being executed. Benny was being honest, he really cared about Dean.

“Why are you doing this? Really,” he asked. Benny sighed.

“Like I said, I’ve seen how the two of you fight whenever I’m around or my name gets brought up. That ain’t right, he’s your brother. You shouldn’t be mad at him because of who he is. Hell, I don’t get why he took the chance on me, he could’ve leaked my soul into any pile of dirt but kept his promise and resurrected me. I owe him everything. And if that means I have to die to restore the peace between the two of you dumbasses, than so be it.” he said.

Sam was speechless. He stared at Benny with an incredulous look.

“Let me spell it out for you,” Benny continued. “I will do anything for Dean. I would face the armies of hell for him, I’d kill for him, I’d give my life for him. Anything to make him happy.”

Sam was confused and wasn’t sure what to do. Benny seemed genuine but he was also a vampire, he couldn’t be trusted.

“Sam, I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but could you try to trust me?” Benny asked.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Benny. You’re just not a risk worth investing in.” Sam finally said, reaching over and pulling the machete free from its sheath.

He turned and walked closer, waiting for the vampire to spring from the chair and attack him. But Benny remained seated, a sad and disappointed look on his face.

“Can I at least have one last request before you send me back there?” he asked quietly. Sam nodded.

“Would you tell Dean that I said goodbye? That he means more to me than he’ll ever know,” Benny asked. Sam paused and slowly nodded.

“I’ll tell him for you. I’m sorry it came to this, Benny,” he said.

“Sure thing, chief. Well, get it over with,” Benny scoffed and gave one last sad smile before tilting his head back, eyes locked on Sam’s.

Sam raised the machete and swung as hard as he could, wanting it to be over quick and painless. Benny’s head tumbled to the floor and blood spurted from his neck. Sam wasn’t sure what he’d expected to happen, but he didn’t feel happy about this. In fact he felt he’d made a horrible mistake, one he couldn’t take back.

“Sammy?”

Sam whirled around and saw Dean standing in the doorway, eyes wet with tears as he stared at the scene.

“Dean? Where’d you come from?” Sam gasped.

“Why, Sam? Why did you kill Benny?” Dean’s face was contorting in pain and sadness.

“He was a vampire, Dean! He was a threat to everyone including you.”

“Not Benny. He was different, special. He could’ve hurt me a million times and refused to. He could’ve started drinking people as soon as we got back, but he didn’t. He was good, Sam. Why did you take him from me?”

Tears were pouring down Dean’s face now as he slowly walked towards Sam, eyes locked on Benny’s decapitated body, and the severed head on the floor. He sobbed as he collapsed to his knees and reached out, grasping one of Benny’s bound hands, the warmth quickly leaving it.

“Why’d you take my Benny from me?”

Writing Prompt #2145

"It's not that I don't trust you. You're just not a risk worth investing in."

[mokassins]

Them sending this pic to richas for help lmao 🔥

[craziestgonzba]

Guapo dúo &...

I'm late, too late!!! AAHH

[kindlykolorful]

no blood ver.

sleeping together after doing crimes zzzz

[turtle-kidddddd]

“Roier is probably much happier without me”

Cellbit shut the fuck up you weren’t there for one month and your husband got turned into a fucking rat

[bennylafittelove]

I like to think that Dean kept one of Benny’s jackets after he sent him to Purgatory and would hold it tightly when he’d sleep.

[arctic-bookclub]

now that qforever is fucked up again i can’t wait for missa to miraculously log on again just to be hit in the face with another wild as hell update about qforever

[anachronistic-falsehood]

devastated we never got the murder husbands lore btw. im 99% sure they said they had shit planned following cellbit's fed worker murder arc and then we never got to see it. this is my 9/11

[ananke-xiii]

Betrayal&Fidelity in Purgatory

I've never been fully convinced that Dean modified his memories because his grief was just too much to bear and I've always been quite let down by the idea that Cas felt like he had to do penance for his sins. It's all too lukewarm for me so I went looking for other interpretations and oh boy. So, here's what I've come up with.

Cas and Dean are in Purgatory because they killed Dick Roman together and they did so because Dean asked Cas to go with him cursed or not. And Dean asked Cas to because Cas didn't want to. And Cas didn't want to because he regained his memories back, realized what he had done during his Godstiel arc and declared himself unable, cursed and useless. However, thanks to Dean Winchester's great power of persuasion, he was convinced to join the fight against the Leviathans because he detected a note of forgiveness in Dean's voice.

S7 Dean's and Cas' relationship boils down to this: Cas has forgotten everything while Dean can't stop thinking about what happened (the trenchoat moved from car to car is a nice visual symbol for this). When Cas is found out to be alive Dean is very torn between relief and... resentment. He seems to be quite angry at Cas not because of what Cas had done but because Cas had forgotten about it and had later decided he wasn't gonna do anything to fix what he had broken. In other words, Cas was refusing to remember his betrayal, more specifically his betrayal against Dean. And Dean wants him to remember. Cas told him he was going to find a way to redeem himself and then he died. And then he came back. And he didn't remember a thing. And when he did he was in clear denial and was planning on doing absolutely nothing of import to redeem himself besides making sandwiches.

Has Cas really betrayed Dean in s6? Mmmmmh. I'm not so sure. Does Dean feel betrayed by Cas? Absolutely yes. Does Cas feel like he betrayed Dean? Well, at first no but Dean did his best to make him understand that he did and so he did understand it. And so betrayal it was.

Now, in S8 Purgatory and beyond roles get reversed. Cas and Dean take the meaning of Purgatory in a very different way.

Cas does what Dean wanted him to do: he remembers. In fact, he takes remembering to a whole new level and decides to keep carrying his sin by going solo in Purgatatory fighting the monsters he had inside. Literally. Nice symbolism. In other words, he does penance.

And what does Dean do? He forgets. He's so imbued with what he perceives as the "purity" of Purgatory (which is what "purgatory" means so we really can't blame him if he felt that) that he frees himself of whatever happened before he got there. Now he has one goal in mind: find the angel.

Dean eventually alters his own memories to remember it like he wanted to: he didn't leave Cas behind, he didn't fail him. Cas let go. And, in a way, he didn't erase anything because Cas did let go. Just not physically but emotionally and that's what Dean couldn't bear to remember.

Cas was, once again, unfaithful to him. What?! Yes.

See, a paradox of betrayal is... fidelity.

Betrayer and betrayed are in such a profound bond (eheh) that they need to keep the betrayal alive by constantly remembering it. They can't let go and if one of the two parties does they are committing infidelity.

Truth be told, Dean didn't give two shits about Cas doing penance for his sins against heaven and earth: he cared that he did penance for the crimes committed against him.

So Cas letting go meant that he broke their unconscious vow to be faithful to one another.

He broke the connection (with Dean).

A Cas without Dean is a Cas ready to be reaped by Heaven. And so Cas enters a new abusive cycle of remembering and forgetting, remembering and forgetting by Naomi's brain drilling. Until Dean makes him remember (just like Cas made him remember what happened in Purgatory) and Cas broke another connection (with Heaven) but he also realizes that he will never get free of his past if he stays with Dean. He must protect the tablet (himself) from Dean. And so Cas leaves, he lets go of Dean. Again.

Of course this is not the right path because ultimately Cas thinks he can atone for his sins by... dying. He can reach purification in death. Castiel is indeed the Sam Winchester of the angels.

Thing is that Dean is very, very mad at Cas (this is showed twice in S9 too and once in S10) but he wants Cas to stay without acknowledging (with himself first and with Cas second) why he can bear to have around the guy who broke his brother's brain and for whom he spent one year in Purgatory only to be rejected by said guy (spoiler alert: it's because of love. Dean needs to keep the betrayal experience alive otherwise he will have to face the hard truth: he's in love... with an angel).

On the other hand, Cas feels very ambivalent towards Dean and he wants to stay away from him but he won't acknowledge why he needs to do so (spoiler alert: it's also because of love. Cas needs to let the betrayal experience die otherwise he will have to face the hard truth: he hurt the person he loves. Cas' self-harm inflicting tendencies are at their best by the end of s10 when he declares his allegiance and love to Dean in the moment he very well knows he will never get reciprocation: it's his "safest" option).

To sum it up, the phantom of betrayal must always hang around between Dean and Cas so that the other side of it can be concealed: love. However, by virtue of betrayal's paradox, their insistence on refusing to address this ghost shows how faithful and unfaithful they are to one another, howcommitted they are, how they are almost... married.

More on Cas as the betrayer: the betrayer keeps his fidelity by admitting he has betrayed, by refusing to forget it. They have to do so otherwise the wider context of love is missed. If the betrayer fails to do so they keep wronging the other person and they keep cutting themselves off from self-forgiveness. And so Cas, by refusing to acknowledge his betrayal specifically towards Dean, keeps hurting him and keeps himself in a vicious cycle of self-harm.

This is why "The Trap" feels like it missed something to me: we the audience actually know why and how Dean operates, we know he has forgiven Cas inexplicably (to Dean) since s6. Dean telling Cas in Purgatory that he forgave him was something that... we had already seen.

I would have found it more interesting if Cas told Dean something there and no, it didn't have to be his happiest moment ever, it would have possibly been his worst (and it could have been a good thing: sometimes bad moments are actually good moments): he could have admitted to his infidelity in their perverted version of marriage where the Scariest Thing (betrayal) actually constituted the foundations of their binding contract. It could have been a stepping stone towards "Despair".

There is much more to say because I have only touched upon the "love side" of the betrayal/fidelity dynamics. The other is power and it's possibly an even more interesting angle.