#purely symbiotic

[purelysymbiotic]

Astarion Brainrot? Need more hot, traumatized vampires? Want to read an original work from an autistic, queer author who just wants a sliver of attention for their magnum opus?

Look no further than my book, Purely Symbiotic!

Back in August, while playing Baldur’s Gate 3, my brain chemistry was altered forever when my Tav was bitten by Astarion. The brainrot was so real that I was inspired to write a short story that turned into a NaNoWriMo project, and now, I am about to finish my three-part ~250k word book filled to the brim with hot, traumatized vampires!

This book has some PEAK queer content. The MC is an autistic, non-binary, aroace POC whose life changes as a vampire stumbles in their life. If you like kinky stuff with none of the sex, this is YOUR story (although, if you do like sex, you can still find enjoyment too!). We got hot vampire twinks, hot lesbian vampire dommy mommies, we got biting, we got kink, and most importantly, it's all consensual and healthy. There is no sex or kissing between the main characters and the MC remains autistic and aroace up to the end (ain't none of that "you'll find the right person" or “you’ll ‘cure’ your autism” bullshit here!). The book is filled with themes of trauma, family, consent, understanding your body, and a whole lot of queer experience.

I’m on track to finish writing the book end of January and the start of February, and editing be completed end of February and the start of March. The plan right now is to host on A03 but this is subject to change. If you are interested at all in reading it when it comes out, follow my blog!

Until then, I have posted the first chapter ready for anyone to read! Feedback is always appreciated and gives me the energy to finish this project. Thank you!!

[purelysymbiotic]

I'm writing (more like stuck forever in editing) a book right now called "Purely Symbiotic" about a human protagonist taking a homeless vampire who was kicked out of his home (this book is hella queer) and offering blood to him in exchange for his companionship. There are no werewolves (sorry!), and while there are aristocratic vampires (not all of them, but some), vampires in general are very much framed by the end as people who also need to eat.

Consider a vampire's reliance on blood as a metaphor for living paycheck-to-paycheck and depending on the kindness of others to get by, and the desparation that can make one slip into taking.

and

[Vampires] are people who need to eat to stay alive too, and it doesn't hurt anyone if it's done right, but it's still heavily stigmatized anyway.

I love these quotes because yes! You all get me! It's all about community. Humans need food, protection, and community. Vampires need food, protection, and community. They need these things because at the end of the day, they are all people.

Not to gush about my book, but it is revealed at some point that the creation of vampires may not be because of anything necessarily evil or to "steal blood" from others or to gain power/control, but as a means to create closer bonds in community through blood sharing. Like how it was said before

It's only a problem if you're portraying the vampires as leeches in the first place.

The MC is basically BEGGING the vampire to take their blood even though he doesn't want to, not because he doesn't want blood from them but because of that stigma that vampires steal. That's why the mc sets up this deal (literally why the story has 'symbiotic' in the title and why it describes their dynamic well). There is something so viscerally uniting and communal and dare I say queer about supporting and helping someone by giving a literal part of your body to them, and for them to return that in your bond. The fact the vampire is a canonically queer man kicked out of his home, literally crashing on someone's couch in an emergency because he has nowhere to go, no prospects, literally can't get a job to support himself, IDK that support between queer people when those in power refuse to give that just makes me *vibrates into another dimension*. I want to see more healthy human/vampire dynamics!!!

I literally can't put into words how everyone in this chain GETS me right now. I can't even put it into words. It's all so intersectional. Poverty, community, queerness, you can dive so deep into this.

Also thanks for the book rec @excessive-vampires. I need more gay vampires in my life.

I want to see a work of fiction that reverses the "vampires are snobby upper class, werewolves are brutish lower class" stereotypes

[disheveledtranquility]

"Wow...I know how much you hate musicals."

[ocean-sunfish-hater]

Parasitoidism and Deep Sea Mechs

ID: A white/ transluscent crustacean inside of a barrel-like jelly structure that is transparent. They are set against a black background.

This shrimp-like creature is a type of deep sea amphipod called Phronima, referred affectionately by some as a barrel bug. Look! It's got a little house for itself! How did it get there? Why is it doing that? Oh god, what does this have to do with the title of this post?

Parasitoidism is an extreme form of parasitism where the host will eventually die. This is different from the other types of parasitism where there may be detriments to the host, but they rarely die as a direct result of the parasitism. Think of a flea - they might suck their host's blood and they may cause damage to it, but one flea will never suck so much blood as to kill the host (of course, it may later die of a disease transmitted by the flea). For a parasite killing the host isn't the best strategy, because then you are essentially destroying your home, your restaurant and your social life all at the same time.

ID: An orange parasitoid wasp sits on top of a bristly caterpillar, with its sting buried inside its victim. They are both sat on a leaf, and the picture is taken close up so that the finer veins of the leaf are visible.

Parasitoidism, on the other hand, eventually results in the death of the host due to the extreme amount of resources taken from it. Most famously, parasitoid wasps lay eggs inside a paralysed host, keeping it alive long enough for its offspring to hatch and consume it. Some larvae even eat non-essential organs first to keep their hosts alive for as long as possible as they grow. Apparently Charles Darwin thought this was so fucked up he questioned whether his God was truly omnipotent or benevolent if such a creature existed.

ID: A picture of a sea salp, a type of marine invertebrate. It has a transparent, jelly-like body that is somewhat tube shaped. Inside the body are two major structures: an orange, spherical mass to the right hand end, and an opaque, white rod-like structure that runs along the body (right to left in the picture). It is set against a dark background.

Anyway, that jelly-like structure that the Phronima is sitting in, it's not something that it made itself through some bodily secretion or scavenging. It's actually the hollowed-out body of an animal called a salp, which is a type of tunicate (these can sometimes form massive colonies, hopefully have a post coming about that at some point).

The Phronima eats the inside of the salp then climbs inside the remaining tunic, in which it makes its home and lays its eggs. It then proceeds to pilot the carcass around like a fucking mech, steering it through the deep sea. Moving its new mobile home round like this allows fresh water and food to flow in through the front, nourishing the happy new homeowner and eventually its larvae once they hatch.

Of course, at this point the salp is likely dead and has been for a while, which is what makes this parasitoidism.

Hope you enjoyed! Have excellent nightmares.

[mp-lily]

I think “lore autist” should be a job and that all long-running expansive franchises(Marvel, Transformers, Star Wars, etc) should employ several(each specializing in a different area of the lore).

[shironezuninja]

So DP disguised himself as random civilians in the 90’s comics through a hologram device before that idea was used for Nightcrawler in X-Men Evolution? Damn.

[batsplat]

Saturday afternoon I ran into Gibernau in the paddock. "I heard that tomorrow HRC are having a press conference," he said. "That's right, just after the race," I replied. "You'll say you're staying at Honda, won't you?" he asked. "No, actually. I'll announce I'm moving to Yamaha," I answered. I saw a flash in his eyes. First astonishment, then happiness. I could tell he had done some quick thinking and figured that it would only be good for him. He reckoned that I wouldn't do much on a Yamaha. I could read it on his face, just as I later could read it in the faces of so many other people who doubted me and my choice.

Valentino Rossi in his 2005 autobiography, What if I had never tried it

[animentality]

Wtf is it about Jennifer's body and venom that mentioned don't understand?

Jennifer's Body was a teen horror movie that flopped because the executives thought they needed to capitalize on Megan Fox's popularity as a sex icon following the success of the Transformers movies, so they marketed it primarily to teenage boys/ young men, by hyping up both her sex appeal and the lesbian kiss scene with Amanda Seyfried.

But it flopped, because it's more of a satire horror comedy than a pure horror, plus it ended up being more feminist/ pro LGBT in hindsight, since it's more of a revenge fantasy than anything else, and a crushing indictment of predatory male behavior. Rather than just being, "lesbian sex is hot, hahaha," it actually comes across as more, "this character is bisexual... she refuses to kill her best friend, even after she comes back as an undead demon."

And people have (correctly) read into this as actually pretty damn romantic.

Megan Fox's character has the opportunity to kill her best friend like three different times, but refuses. And the only reason she dies, is because she can't bear the thought of their friendship being broken...

And then... Amanda's character...she doesn't even hold it against her. She goes on a killing spree in her name...

Like. Come on. That's queer subtext, and honestly, just queer text, since Megan even says, "I go both ways."

So. ultimately. It was not really FOR cishet teen boys. It marketed to them, but failed to get their attention. And it did poorly, but then got a cult following in the following years, by the correct audience of women and gays.

Venom, on the other hand, was a teen anti-hero movie, focused on a character who was supposed to be in a rated r movie, but the execs chickened out at the last second. It was SUPPOSED to be dark and edgy and maybe a little horror-esque... but then it was written poorly, was edited very messily, had a very strange tone, and ended up making the symbiote more of an audacious, goofy, chaotic character than outright evil.

It was CAMPY.

Like Jennifer's Body, it was SUPPOSED to be aimed at teenage boys and men...who HATED it. Thought it was garbage.

But it ended up marketing to...the monster fucker crowd.

Because of the sizzling sexual tension between the two reclaimed LGBT leads.

So that's why we compare them.

They're both edgier movies that could've been rated r, but got pulled back to pg13 for marketing reasons. They were both supposed to be Cool Products for Boys, but ended up marketing more to women and gays in the end.

Jennifer's Body was "horror" and Venom was "action," but they both ended up being more purely comedic than anything, even if it was a little unintentional (more on Venom's part, than Jennifer's Body).

And that's all.

They've got very similar vibes, you know?

Camp LGBT, with horror elements.

Think Elvira, Rocky Horror Picture Show. You know.

[bogleech]

In your general appreciation of nature, I am curious about your take on this - do you believe nature has reached "peak complexity"?

There was a time without flying animals. There was a time without land animals. There was a time without vertebrates, without segmented exoskeletons, without fur, without feathers, without complex social structures, without eyes. There was a time without plants, or any kind of photosythesis. There was a time without multicellular life.

But at this point, do you feel nature on planet Earth has evolved all "milestones" there are (and from now on, all additional complexity will have come from civilization, one way or another)?

I mean in terms of potential, assuming for a moment "nature" of some kind still exist during the next billion years or so.

Yes or No would be enough (lol), but of course spec evo ideas would be even cooler!

Nah I think there's absolutely infinite things nature could evolve some day that we can't even imagine. You really never know. Like it's 100% biochemically possible for something to "breathe fire;" there just has to be a sequence of mutations and the right competition to gradually make it happen, possibly starting with something that sprays boiling hot compounds like a bombardier beetle. I could also imagine a whole class of animals evolving like the modular people from All Tomorrows, because we already have Siphonophores. It's just a matter of something evolving to be a colony that can also come apart and keep functioning. I'm also obviously obsessed with the concept of a creature that weaponizes its own little symbiotic bugs, since I've used that a million times. Like maybe millions of years from now, a descendant of sloths will have upgraded from being full of moths to being full of tiny wasps? And then what if that's so effective they actually start diversifying like crazy and there's a whole era dominated by mammaloid wasp nest beasts ranging from grazers merely cleaned and guarded by their insects to predators who hunt with their assistance. Plant/animal physical symbiosis is also another thing that's not really taken off outside a few insects. Why shouldn't a plant some day decide it likes growing on some kind of animal's body? It's not a plant, but lichens grow on a species of weevil. It's so rare there aren't even photos, but I swear I saw video of one on BBC when I was a kid:

What if a moss adapts just to the shell of some big reptile and eventually the reptile starts to derive sustenance from it too?? Over time what if this evolves into basically real life Bulbasaurs, where the animal part can be sustained off sunlight? It'd just have to slow its animal metablism way, waaay down to meet the plant halfway. Maybe it hibernates for years and years at a time or spends decades developing like a cicada and then it emerges in pure mating mode, using up all the food it conserved as its flower finally blooms. I know most of my examples are now elaborations on something that's kind of almost already begun happening somewhere but you get the idea. Furthermore you never know if all life as we know it will die out one day while there's still a couple billion years left of the planet's physical existence. Then a whole new line of life could evolve that we can't conceive of at all, from the ground up. Like crystalline mineral trees that start talking to each other with laser light. Or maybe only bacteria are left but for some reason bacteria develop what they need to start sticking together and building a new kind of multicellular organism. What the heck would an equivalent to "animals" look like if the ancestor was a bacterium????? Holy fuck I'm mad I won't see it. Fuming and seething actually. This is the worst thing ever. Why am I doomed to die on regular animal planet with google bots and disney remakes. I wanna see salmonella animal planet. It's not fair.

[purelysymbiotic]

Hey, I finally have the official art of Ash and Jules! I don't really draw that often so I love how well it turned out! I’m also gonna post their character profiles here. As always, you can read the first chapter here!

Ash

Human, the MC of our story and the narrator (left) Gender: Non-Binary [They/Them] Sexuality: Aromantic Asexual Additional: Autistic & ADHD Likes: Comfort food (Eggs & OJ), Old nostalgic TV shows, Video Games, Helping others Dislikes: Milk, Having to talk to others, Toxic Families, Being taken advantaged of, the sun

–

Jules

Vampire, the queer-platonic interest (right) Gender: Cis Male [He/Him] Sexuality: Pansexual/Panromantic, Gray-AroAce Additional: He starts off a ratman. Likes: People who help him, Human culture, Cooking for his human, Reading Dislikes: His family, Stealing Human Blood, Feeling like a burden

Jules’s design is totally not based on Alucard and Astarion, noooooo…. 👀

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Ravaged

Summary: A symbiote bonds with Y/n against her will on a mission, and while the symbiote is getting the other heroes out of its way it decides to take something it knows its host wants.

Authors note: italics are Y/ns internal thoughts. Bold italics are the symbiotes internal thoughts.

Warnings: non con-ish (neither really want it while R is in that state, but both eventually do give into their desires), bottom/subby Nat, smut (fingering, tendril penetration)

Word count: 4756

Nat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Halloween 2024 Masterlist

   As you, Tony, Nat and Steve make your way further into the laboratory some movement on a nearby table catches the geniuses attention. He heads over and the faceplate of his helmet comes up to allow him to see what he spotted with his own eyes. Curiosity gets the better of you and you head over to see as well.

   “Whatcha find?”

   “Don’t know kid, but whatever it is, its reactive”

    You look at the small dish of blue liquid-like substance and as he points to it, to your amazement, the liquid moves. It almost jumps back as if trying to keep its distance from him, as if it had a mind of its own, which was ridiculous.

   “Woah, that's weird”

    “Very” he replies, but before he can have JARVIS run a scan, Steve interrupts

   “What's weird?”

   You point at it just as the billionaire had, “This thing Tony found”

   “Watch it!”

   You turn back to Tony, confused by what he meant, but you quickly find out when you feel something latch on to your hand. Startled, you looked down to see whatever this goo was now holding onto you, and quickly spreading.

   “Oh shit!” Tony exclaims as he watches you try to shake it off only for it to move further up your forearm.

   “What the hell?!”

   Your shout gains the attention of the Russian, who rushes over to see what the fuss is about. She's not sure what she expected, but seeing some strange goop slowly engulfing one of your arms wasn’t even on the list of possibilities

   “Y/n!” she immediately moves to help you but Steve quickly grabs her, “Rogers, let me go!”

   Steve, sensing this thing is far more dangerous than first glance might lead one to believe, shakes his head, “I can’t do that”

   Her secret feelings for you outweigh her rational mind currently however, and starts to struggle in his grasp. She helplessly watches as you, in sheer desperation, grab at it with your freehand. To her horror and yours, this backfires, and now the thing latches onto that hand as well. 

   “Oh fuck!”

   “Tony, do something!” she shouts, practically clawing at Steve's arms as he wraps them around her torso in a bear hug to prevent her from pulling any sort of maneuver to make him let go

   Tonys panicked face looks at her before he makes the faceplate cover himself once more, “What can I do Nat?! I don’t want to be grabbed by it too!”

   You hold your arms out in front of you with a look of pure terror and stumble backwards as the thing reaches your shoulders. Your hip bumps into a nearby desk which causes you to falter, and as you stumble Natasha notices how the blue substance begins to practically seep into your tactical suit. Your underarms and chest start to quickly take on that same bright color and odd texture just as small tendrils of it creep up your neck. She can feel her heart in her throat as it seems to be taking you over, and just then your eyes finally meet hers

   “Tasha..” you whimper, feeling it begin to encase the back of your head

   That snaps her out of her panic induced docile state, and with little regard for what he might think or feel she hits Steve's forearm with a widow's bite. He lets out a shocked sound as he seizes and she uses that to her advantage. An elbow to the sternum has him falling away from her, and she uses her other arm to clear his hands of her as he stumbles backwards and falls to the ground

   “Natasha, what the hell!?” Tony shouts, clearly shocked by her actions, but he opts to stay where he is between you and her instead of going to help the soldier

   “She needs help”

    “She needs a hazmat team, or to be seen at area 51!” he replies, only partially joking, “We don’t know what this is Nat!”

   “Or what it's doing to her!” she stresses, eyebrows knitting in further turmoil as she watches you fall to your knees behind him, “Tony, please!”

   He glances back at you just in time to see your head droop down, you gaze going to the floor as the goo covers your head entirely, and that's when everything goes black for you. You can still hear, and somewhat see, but it's more like it's an out of body experience than it is your own. You don’t even have control over your own body anymore, everything you tell it to do, every way you try to fight back, goes ignored

   “Shit” he mutters, but this time as Nat moves past him he does nothing to stop her

   She approaches you cautiously, noting that there's not an inch of you not covered by this mysterious substance. And though she saw how ruthlessly it took over you she can’t help but reach out. When it doesn’t react the same way as it had with you she lets her hand touch your shoulder. The goo feels nearly solid now and cool to the touch, and though it does nothing to her, it unnerves her. It almost feels like it hums beneath her palm, reacting to her in a way she can’t currently understand

   “Y/n?” Your head snaps up and looks at her, and she feels her stomach drop as wide golden eyes meet her gaze

   “We…Are Ravage” a deep gravelly voice replies, startling her enough that she quickly scurries away from you

   The creature that controls you takes this opportunity to rise to your feet then, and to everyone's shock you're now at least 3 feet taller than you were before. Your broader now too and your arms and legs have more muscle

   “Jesus…” Steve breathes out, finally having freed himself from Nats bite

  You take a step forward and Tony does the same, “Woah there, uh, big guy. We need our friend back”

   You tilt your head slightly before answering, “No”

   “We weren’t asking” Steve says, moving his shield in front of him as he walks towards you, “Don’t make us do this the hard way”

   A dark chuckle leaves you, and it's so unlike you that it has a chill running down the Redheads spine. She feels every muscle in her tense as Steve steps up to you, and she knows this isn’t about to go well

   “Just let her go. No one has to get hurt”

   “Thats no fun” you respond

   Steve raises his shield as if he's about to charge you with it but before he can you raise your arm. A long tendril of goo springs out of you and slams into him so fast that even his enhanced abilities couldn’t help him avoid it. He goes flying to the back of the room, crashing into desks and computers as he goes.

  Tony immediately takes flight, hovering just a few feet off the ground as he aims his repulsors at you, “Hard way it is”

   “Tony, wait!” Nat pleads. She knows you're still in there, and she doesn’t want you hurt, especially when she has no idea what this thing may have already done to you

   But Tony doesn’t listen, instead he blasts at you a few times. Each one hit you and you stumble back slightly, but aside from some small dent in the substance covering you that then easily fix themselves, theses no damage done

   “Ah, shit”

   You quickly move your arm towards him, sending a whip like tendril his way. It slams into his midsection and has him colliding with a wall. He fires a few more blasts at you but they do just as much good as his first ones had. You turn to him, and he watches in awe as your left fist morphs into some kind of blade. But before you can use it, Caps shield collides with you and sends you backwards

   “Steve!” Nat stresses, still worried about the you inside, but he ignores her and catches his shield

   Before you can stand he rushes you and the metal collides with you once more. A deep and foreboding growl leaves you as your hands grab the edge of the annoying round disk, and you push back with a strength Steve wasn’t expecting. True, you were a supersoldier just like he was, but you had come along decades later and the formula used was nowhere near as potent. 

   Put kindly, you were strong and a force to be reckoned with, but you still paled compared to Steve. When the two of you sparred, you could keep up, but his hits were always harder and he could always lift more than you at the bench press. But now, you were starting to push so hard that he could feel the treads of his boots starting to slip. Whatever this thing was, it enhanced you in more ways than just tendrils and goop weapons.

    “Tony! What the hell is this thing?!”

   “I don’t know yet! JARVIS is still running scans!” he replies, moving out of the way of one of your tendrils

   Natasha watches on, torn on what to do or how to help. Whatever this thing is, she wants it off of you, now. But even if fighting you is the only way to help, she doesn't want to hurt you and so she hesitates to get involved. Her hands have only ever brought harm to others, but when she fell for you she vowed that her hands would only ever be kind to you. She’d only ever touch you in tender ways, with love and care, and so now she's very conflicted. But when a tendril wraps around Tony's leg while another hits Steve hard enough to send him and his shield sprawling she knows she has to get involved.

  She takes a step forward and lets loose a widow's bite. It lodges itself in your shoulder and she expects you to act like Steve had earlier. Instead the goo near your shoulder twitches only slightly and your gaze snaps to her. A large tooth filled grin spreads across its face and it slams Tony into the ground before sending a tendril her way.

   This causes your consciousness to finally stir from within, “No!”

   But she had easily dodged the tendril and sent another widow's bite your way. The creature ignores you and her bite and as it steps closer to her its hand shifts into a blade once more. It lets out a growl as it rushes at her and you struggle to regain control as she does her best to parry and dodge

   “Don’t hurt her!” 

   The creature only hisses in response, but to your surprise it does take a step back as if contemplating how to disengage. It doesn’t get the chance however, as Steve and his shield slam into you once more. The hit breaks its concentration and Tony is able to free himself from your tendrils grasp. He sits up in time to watch Steve block a hit from your bladed appendage

   “Got any ideas?” he asks, feeling like he's in a losing battle, and so were you

    “Yeah” Steve grunts, “Keep hitting it”

   “Right, because I hadn’t thought of that”

   Just as he says that the creature overpowers Steve and rips the shield from his grasp. There's a collective moment of shock and silence before the creature slams Steve with his own shield. At first the heroes aren't too worried, he's taken hits before, but then you're slamming it into him again and he's stumbling backwards, blood dripping from his nose

   “Steve!” Both Tony and Nat shout as they move in to attempt to help. The creature sends a spiked tendril out in both directions to keep them busy as it slams Steve again

    “Not as strong as you think” it seethes, fueled of the slight jealousy it can feel in your subconscious 

   You had to admit, watching this thing use your body to one up Steve when you know how cocky and confident he can be, did feel good. And while that should, and would normally have you feeling guilty, you find there's no such emotion now. You only feel

   With another hit Steve falls to his knees and afraid for his friend's life Tony makes a beeline away from your diversion and straight for you. This creature is smarter and faster than it would seem however and before he can reach you it flings Caps shield at him. It hits him square in the helmet sending the shield bouncing off to embed into the wall as he sways of course and hits the ground hard.

   “Tony!?” Nat shouts as she runs over to check on him. She turns him on his back but gets no movement from the suit of armor, “Hey, come on Stark”

   While she does her best to pry his faceplate off one of your large hands grabs Steve's shoulder and lifts him up to be eye level with you, “Who's the better model now?”

   His eyes widen as he realizes at least part of you is still in there and conscious, but before he can say or do anything your fist is meeting his face. One solid punch after a shield beating is all it takes to knock him out cold, and you release him to fall to the ground with a thump

   Nats attention snaps away from the billionaire and over to the soldier, “Steve?!”

   A growl rumbles in your chest as you turn your attention solely to her, and for the first time in a long time, Natasha feels afraid. She has no idea if you’ve just killed her two friends, and she has no idea if the Y/n she knows and loves is even alive anymore within the creature that's done it. And now she's alone here with it. But she has no intention of allowing this creature to see her fear. So she stands and steps away from where Tony lays and readies herself. 

   But you can read her, you always could, and you can see she's afraid, “Just leave her alone. She isn’t a threat.”

   The creature ignores you again however and rushes at her, dodging the kick she throws your way and the widow's bite before grabbing the hand that throws a punch. She stumbles slightly but tries one last time to hit you with her free hand. You catch it as well however and let out a dark chuckle

   “No! Let her go!” you demand, doing your best to fight it

   “Relax” it whispers to you, “We will not harm her. She is yours”

   “What?” you ask, clearly confused and when you look back you find Natasha is now pinned to the wall, both of her hands held above her head in one of your massive ones

   “I am attuned to you as I am now part of you. I see what you feel, and I see your inability to act on it. It's sad, pathetic even”

   “Hey!”

   “But I am here now. You have me. And together we can take what you want, and you want her.”

   “What? No. I…I don’t…” you stammer trying to deny how badly you want the redhead. If you ever were to have her you didn’t want some weird sludge to be the driving force behind it 

   “You want to ruin her for anyone else so she can be yours, always.”

You want to deny these thoughts, but you can’t. It seems that in your connection the creature now has access to things you’d rather no one have access to. Thoughts, feelings, desires….it knows them all. And it's willing to help you. But doing it this way, this was wrong. Natasha deserved to be treated right, not fucked in some lab up against the wall against her will by some weird creature using your body

   As you mull it over she squirms in your grasp and looks deep into the soulless eyes, “Please, I didn’t want to hurt you. I…I just want Y/n back”

   “She is here” it answers, “And she is unharmed”

   She watches as half its face peels away to reveal yours. She can see you aren’t fully with it as your eye is glazed over and you have no reaction to seeing her, but she is elated to see your face once more and to see that you appear to have no injuries, externally at least.

   “She's okay?”

   “She is. She merely slumbers while I have control”  

   Nat swallows the lump in her throat as your face is hidden away from her once more, “When will she have control again?”

   “When we are done with you” it answers, making a chill run through her, and she's not too sure she wants to know what exactly that means

   “What? No. I didn’t agree to this. I don’t want this”

   “But you do”

   “No. Not like this” you stress, “I want her to want it too. To enjoy it as much as I do”

   “She wants it. I can feel it.” it replies, “And she will learn to enjoy it, as will you” 

   “No! Wait!” but the creature is done listening

   Instead it leans down and gets closer to Nat's face, “My host cares for you. Deeply.”

   She stares at the creature a bit lost on what this has to do with anything, but elated to find out her feelings are returned, “She does?”

   “Yes. I can feel it. I can see everything she wants to do with you, everything she wants to do to you” it explains, “We are going to make you feel so good”

   Oh. Oh no. As much as she wanted you, this isn’t how she wanted things to happen. She wanted you, not some life form that's using you as a puppet. And she wanted it only after having a discussion with you about her feelings. She also wanted it in a bed, not up against a wall in an old AIM lab where two of her teammates and friends lay either unconscious or dead

   It wraps a tendril sound each of her ankles and pulls her legs apart. She lets out a gasp, “Wait, please”

   “Relax. Y/n is here” it coos, “We will not hurt you. She wants this. She wants to take care of you.” 

   She liked that idea, as long as it truly was what you wanted. But that's the thing, she couldn’t be sure. For all she knew this thing had drained you of your life and was just toying with her now. She had no proof you were even alive let alone reciprocating her feelings

   “She wants to make you hers, completely” it tells her, bringing its free hand to brush hair from her face, “She wants to love you, and to ruin you”

   An involuntary whimper leaves Natasha, and she does her best to look away from the creature. But it uses its hand to gently grab her chin and lift her gaze back up

   “You want that too, don’t you?”

   “I…I...” Nat stammers, trying to think straight, “Not like this”

   “No?” it questions, watching in amusement as she shakes her head and takes a deep breath to calm herself, “I’m not so sure”

   It lowers its head to the nape of her neck and starts to place gentle kisses against her flushed skin. She wiggles a bit in its hold but despite herself she moves her head away to give it more access. It takes advantage of this and begins to give more kisses, messier ones, and it brings its free hand to possessively grab her hip. She does her best to stifle another whimper and she prays the creature doesn’t notice how her heartbeat quickens. It proves it does however when it immediately lets its tongue run over her pulsepoint 

   “See?” it whispers to her, “You like this, and you want more”

   She's not sure if it's the creature or you that's able to read her right now, but she really hopes it's you. Afterall, you've always been able to see past her walls and decipher her true emotions. So why would now be any different

   “I…I want Y/n”

   “I want you too, Tasha” your voice finally replies, causing a relieved smile to break out across her face. 

   She was worried she’d never hear your voice again let alone hear you admit that. And if it was anyone other than you in there, there's no way she’d allow herself to be in this position. She would have fought back by now, freed herself and killed whatever asshole had tried doing it. But it is you, and now that she knows that for certain, she finds herself willing to give in despite the circumstances

   “You're in there, right? And you have some control?” she asks. If this was going to happen here and now, which apparently it was, she at least needed to know you were present 

   “I am, and I do now” you reply as the creature still kisses her neck

   She lets out a low hum of approval, “Okay”

   The creature takes this as its queue and it swiftly replaces the hand holding hers with a tendril and pulls its head from her neck in order to get a better view. Its now free hand grabs her suit's zipper and slowly begins to pull it down, showing off her bra clad chest and abs. Its tongue lulls out at the sight, and you're both overcome by the urge to see more of her. Your hand easily tears her bra from her body, showing off her now hardening nipples to you, and to Nats embarrassment she can feel arousal pooling in her belly at the show of strength. 

   “So beautiful” you whisper as the creatures hands begin to palm her tits, “And all ours”

   A moan slips past her lips at the possessive growl and her cheeks heat up as she replies, “Yes, all yours”

   You surge forward, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that takes her breath away, and she eagerly opens her mouth to the creature's probing tongue. Your one hand moves to grope her ass while the other slowly moves down to the waistband of her underwear. She moans into its mouth and momentarily forgets her hands are bound as she reaches out for you.

   You let out a throaty chuckle as you break the kiss, “Poor thing, so needy”

   “Detka(baby), please” she whines, the feeling of your fingers so close to where she wants you is almost too much for her, “I need you”

   “Aww don’t worry” you coo, “We’ll take good care of you”

   Just then your hand slides past her waistband and into her underwear, and she moans as your long digits tease her folds. A pleased sound rumbles in your chest as you feel just how wet she is, and she squirms in anticipation as your thumb begins to rub her clit

   “Please” she begs, doing her best to thrust her hips forward. An almost sinister smile spreads across your face then, and without warning you slip a finger inside her and begin to thrust, “Oh god!”

   “Such pretty sounds” you whisper, letting your other hand move back up from her ass and to her tits once more. You squeeze her plump mounds and watch the way her face contorts in pleasure at your movements, “Doing so good for us”

   She moans again and her walls clench down on your finger just as you find the perfect spot inside her, “Fuck! Right there! Please!”

   “What are you begging for, pretty girl?” you tease, increasing the speed of your thrusts

   “You…I…oh god, please” she stutters, feeling the coil in her belly beginning to tighten, “Please, I’m so close”

   “Already?” you tease again

   “Yes!” She nods, blushing even harder than before, “You feel so good, please!”

   “Go ahead Tasha, cum for us”

   She does as she's told and cums hard, shuddering in your hold as you continue to fuck her through her orgasm. This proves to be a tough task however, due to the way her pussy tightly spasms around you. After a few more thrusts her whimpers tell you that she's become sensitive so you gently pull yourself from her. You make a show of bringing your finger to your mouth and cleaning it off with your large tongue

   You moan at her taste, “You taste so good”

    “Fuck” she groans, obviously haveing been affected by it

    You grip her hips possessively as you lean in for another kiss, and Natasha can feel herself getting worked up once more as your large tongue invades her mouth. The kiss quickly becomes a heated makeout session as you grope and paw at her ass, and she's honestly starting to get lightheaded. That's when she feels something that isn’t a hand enter her underwear and her eyes snap open

   “We aren't done with you yet”

   “Oh fuck” she whimpers, both turned on and worried by the girth of the tendril that prods at her entrance 

   “Don’t worry, you can take it” you tell her, as if reading her mind, “And you’ll love how it feels”

   “Oh! Y/n!” she moans as the tendril spreads her open and slides in, reaching even deeper inside her than her finger had, “Feels good! So good!”

   “Knew you’d like it” you reply, letting your tongue travel up between the valley of her breasts as the tendril starts to thrust even faster, “My host likes it too. My connection to her lets her feel everything as if it was her inside you”

   Upon hearing that Nat moans loudly, and her pussy clenches down around the tendril hard, making you moan as well, “Fuck Tasha”

   “Don’t stop detka(baby), please don’t stop”

   “Not gonna” you reply, grunting at the feeling of her throbbing around you. You can feel your own climax quickly building, “I want you to cum with me”

    “Yes! Fuck!” she pants, 

    “Cum, now” the creature's voice commands, and just like that both you and Natasha fall head first into your orgasms. 

   Her eyes roll back and her mouth hangs open as pleasure like she's never felt before washes over her, and you both let out a series of moans as the tendril continues to slowly move inside her. In that moment all she can focus on is how incredible this was, and how she loved getting to share this moment with you. Even if she was sharing the moment with whatever this thing was

   Speaking of, it leans down to kiss her once more and she of course returns its affection, squirming slightly as the tendril pulls out of her. As the kiss continues she feels the ones around her legs and hands lower her down and release her so she eagerly wraps her arms around you. And that's when she realizes it's your form again, not the creatures and it's your lips against hers now.

   She sighs and practically throws herself at you, “You're back”

   “Technically, I was never gone” you joke, trying to make light of everything, “Just like he's not gone now, just resting”

    “You're okay though, right?”

   You nod, “Yeah Tasha, I’m fine. Are you?”

   You pull back from her slightly to look over her disheveled appearance only to blush when you realize her suit is still unzipped. You quickly move to help cover her back up and she lets out a chuckle

   “I’m fine, better than fine actually” she admits, blushing again

   “Told you she wanted it”

   You ignore him and share a smile with the woman infront of you before a groan pulls you both from your little bubble, “Oh my god, the guys!”

   You pull apart to see Tony sitting up and opening up his faceplate to rub his forehead, while Steve shifts around, “Ugh, what happened?”

   “Y/n hit us like a truck” Tony replies before remembering your state, he looks over to Nat and is surprised to see your back to normal, “Wait, what?”

   “Long story” you tell him with a sheepish smile, “Lets just say, Natasha tamed the beast”

   “I am not a beast!”

   “Oh hush”

   The Russian cheeks heat up again and she elbows you, “Yeah, you're welcome. Now can we get her home and run tests?”

  “Uh yeah…yeah. Just give me a minute…or twelve” he responds, walking over to Steve who has yet to sit up still before slumping down to the ground beside him

“Babies”

Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm  @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2

[wonwayne]

enha when you pass out on their shoulder ☁️

pairing : ot7 x gn!reader genre : pure fluff warnings : none! word count : 0.75k

a/n : because you’re irresponsible like that ;) no but in all seriousness ‘passing out’ here just refers to falling asleep, not the medical condition 👍

💭 heeseung

just loves the sensations of you

your warm breath, faint on his chest; your hair spreading across his sweater; your fingers subconsciously playing and tugging at the sleeve

does it melt him? yes, it melts him

it melts him so much that he can’t sit straight anymore, he has to surrender to gravity and cuddle with you

slightly surprised when you don’t stir; he’s like “oh they’re knocked out” and decides to bridal carry you to the bed so you can stay comfy for the night

tucks you in and everything, he is father™ material methinks

💭 jay

drapes his jacket/blanket over you so fast

and so effortlessly

gentility is second nature for this man he is a GENTLEMAN

could stay perfectly still forever if that meant good sleep for you

and does exactly that the entire night, literally falls asleep in that position he loves you that much

then wakes up the next morning and nags you incessantly

“you are going to massage my shoulder for the next full hour.” “why :(“ “because i sacrificed the imminent comfort of my bed to be your pillow for 9 hours.”

maybe he’s dramatic but he’s right !!

💭 jake

mm. would rather have you sitting in his lap but this will do.

does the thing where he shifts his body towards you a bit and plants a billion kisses on the top of your head

you better be dreaming of him

eventually gives up on offering his shoulder, just hugs you

talks to you even if you’re unresponsive, partly bc he’d be lonely otherwise

but mostly bc he thinks it’s the perfect time to confess (as if he doesn’t confess to you through all of your waking hours)

“y/n you are so so beautiful” “i would give up the world for you”

is it possible to blush in your sleep?? bc jake would make it happen

💭 sunghoon

is so so smug about it

like “yes. see how their head fits perfectly into the crook of my neck. (it’s not a question.) soulmates indeed.”

HEAD PATS

just strokes your hair softly and he’s so nonchalant about it

if you weren’t already dozing his pets are so soothing they leave you in a SLUMBER

might even whisper cheesy little things knowing that you won’t remember them

“my princess 🥰” “my snuggle bear 😁”

okay i’ll shut up

💭 sunoo

it starts with a side eye (when does it not)

somewhere between concern and shock, he’s all like “this is not typical y/n behavior this is not the y/n i know this is not my y/n why are they not alive hold up—”

does the two fingers under your nose thing to check if you’re breathing

you are, of course, and then he’s just like well 😶 clingy y/n era. guess i’ll have to get used to this.

makes a point to rest his head on yours “this will be a symbiotic relationship not a parasitic one”

if you end up waking up and for witty banter’s sake the first thing you say is “your head was heavy 😒”

oh you are setting yourself UP there

“baby your existence weighs down on me /lh”

💭 jungwon

insert surprised cat face

tends to be the one snuggling into you so this throws him off a little, but in the best possible way

makes it his temporary life goal not to move

nearly an hour in, his neck is begging to be cracked

he hadn’t even noticed how stiff he’d become, he was watching you so intently

he’s thinking about holding out as long as he can but then he’s like “you are not a child you can find yourself a bed to sleep on”

still wakes you up sooo carefully, and when he realizes you’re too groggy to move, he lets you snooze on his lap instead

the way you and only you can break his resolve UGH where is my jungwon fr

💭 niki

absolutely EXHAUSTS your phone storage with 127000 photos of you

none of them are flattering, trust me

“it’s like a polaroid love” um more like polaroid done dirty

drool starting to escape your lips? 🤨📸

cheek squishing into his shoulder and you look like a fish? 📸🤭

adores you through it all of course

i do think he’s less the type to whisper sweet nothings while you’re asleep, but only bc he’d rather see your flustered reaction and make fun of it

[havensins]

Peter's bf having symbiote like abilities and using the tentacles to hold peter as you fuck him and using a tentacle to help dp hom

peter parker x symbiote!m!reader

cw. sub!peter, dom!reader, does this count as tentacle fucking?, masturbation, peter is extremely needy, double penetration.

note. i did notttt mean to turn this into a full fic 😭. not proofread!

peter finds it incredibly hot that you even have those abilities and as you show him just how much you could really do with your own symbiote, he found it hard to keep his thoughts neutral.

he’d find himself zoning out and thinking about of it would feel for you to hold him down with the extra appendages. he thought about how it would feel, maybe for one of your tendrils to slide down to his hole as you’re fucking him… maybe even push in alongside your cock..

peter believed he had never been so horny in his life. the pressure and buildup was beginning to become too much, and he pursued the only option he felt like he had.

he lay in bed, pants and underwear pushed sloppily to his thighs. his legs were perched up a little for easier access to his hole. he was quick and disorganized in his movements, popping the cap on a bottle of lube and drizzling the contents over his fingers.

he held his shirt up with his teeth as he reached down and pressed past his tight ring of muscle. his mouth parts as a whine escapes; his fingers were no where near as fulfilling as yours but he’d just have to make due.

he fists his cock with vigor, fingers pumping in and out and making a wet squelch sound around the room. he hadn’t a care in the world as he moaned out freely, whining and trembling.

“peter…” you tsked, and his eyes blinked open. making your way towards him, he only slows the movement of his hands. he doesn’t have the control to stop completely. “cant.. haah- cant cum,” he whines, hips twitching as the fingers in his rear attempt to find his prostate.

“what has you so worked up love? poor thing, you can’t even make yourself cum,” you murmured. he chews on his lip, head falling back so he wouldn’t have to look you in the eyes.

“wan’ you and- and your symbiote.” he mumbles after s beat of silence. “hold me down and make me take y-you.. both of you,” he admits and you fight to hide the surprise on your face.

he finally stops touching himself, making an unintelligible noise in discomfort. breathing heavily, he feels a tendril gather his wrists and hold them above his head.

“if that’s what you want, then who am i to deny my pretty spider a request?” you question, and he looks towards you with glossy eyes. settling between his thighs on the bed, you pull his pants and underwear all the way off, and do the same with your own clothing.

you were already hard within the confines of your pants, practically aching at the sight of peter. he’s begging under you, looking like the most sinful angel you’d ever seen; all exposed and in all of his glory.

you push into him, the copious amounts of lube he’d used made the slide easy. peter moans out in pure pleasure when you bottom out, thighs trembling at your sides.

you knew it wouldn’t take long for him to cum, with how long he’d been working on himself before you even found him all needy.

after a couple beats of allowing nothing but peter’s moans to fill your ears, he speaks up; voice raspy and broken. “pleasee, wan’ you both, i can- i can take it.” he wails. you grinned, breathing heavily and deciding to fill his last request.

another tendril comes, teasing his taut and tensed body before circling his cock and moving further down where your own cock was pressing in and out of him.

you slowed down, allowing the tendril to push in a little before coming back out. the movement repeated a few times before it was able to slide in alongside your cock with no issue.

“look at you, angel. stuffed fuckin’ full with all of me. you can barely even take it, can you?” and peter has no response.

his mouth opens wide; he’s never taken this much before. his body goes tense, and then immediately limp afterwards. he cums with a cry, practically sobbing at feeling so full.

you’re cumming nearly right after him. you’re pressing into him at the hilt and he keens at the feeling. letting your tendrils release him and flow back into you, peter is blissed out of his mind. you pull out, and he jolts a little and whines at the feeling of your cum dripping down the cleft of his ass.

“come on pretty, we gotta get you cleaned up,” you coo, maneuvering peter so that he was cradled to your chest. “stay for a minute.” he whispers lowly, voice and brittle cracked with use. you hum into his hair and plant a kiss on his for head. “just for a little then, angel.”

[imaginariumwanderer]

Mkay last post before logging off. Featuring silly pixel art I made w/ my mouse.

This chart was actually made out of pure self-indulgent a while back with no intention of being posted, I ended up scribbling(?) all over the thing. Hopefully it's readable when zoomed in.

It's "my ship in 5 minutes" but I can make it 30 if you want. WARNING: Tons of sappy yapping+pixel art download under cut.

About "tropes": The trope is called Angel-Devil shipping, oh but I don't think PV is an angel. He's more like a God for SM (at least that's my preference)… Thinking at all the possible tropes that suits them make me really wonder why some people consider Shadowvanilla a crack/pro ship. Enemies to lovers or villain/hero ships have been pretty archetypal since the day of olds. Compared to all the ships I've encountered in the past… Shadowvanilla is more or less the "slightly out of the norm" on the "problematic ships scale" <- typing this out make me feel like an old fandom veteran haha

About "how it happens": I have no idea where to put PV on that chart. He's the one who approached first, but not out of romantic intents, him falling for SM is as unexpected as can be. SM fell first and slowly, and in 'slow' I meant decades upon decades. It's inevitable, painfully so, spending all those years watching over this cookie who's so perfect in his imperfections, how could one not feel something? Of course it's not so simple, that 'something' is a horrid mixture of disgust, envy, hatred, understanding, both the need to preserve and destroy… And maybeee the tiniest crumb of affection? SM realized something around the first couple hundredth years mark, he then spends the next thousands in denial of it. No matter. Whether it's PV or the Soul jam, his birth-given rights. SM knows what he wants and he WILL get what he wants. (He's wrong on both fronts. And somewhere in the back of his mind, SM knows that. But he'll never admit it. He'll never ever admit anything. Until it's too late. In a way, the same goes for PV)

About a certain someone who's not clingy, but would die for attention: I think PV gets lonely easily. As he's hyper-aware of himself and considerate of others, appearing clingy is the last thing PV wants. So PV would put extra efforts in taking care of those around him, be it cookies, animals or the greenery in his garden. A healer is always busy, always helpful. If he's always needed by others then he would never be afraid of being alone. Ironically enough, this ended up making PV come off as a little overbearing. As of late, the only ones able to see through the facade are Hollyberry cookie and you-know-who.

Other scattered thoughts: These two are completely different yet can't be more similar, on the various sliding scales they're either stuck to one another or are flung to both ends. On another note, honestly I can't see these two doing anything domestic together, the most I can see is cooking, which is basically the same as magic in the cookie world. Anyways, are they in "love"? Are they dating? Not really, no. It's more of a a parasitic-turned-symbiotic-soulbond, a will-they-won't-they-destroy-the-world situationship (iykyk) I do enjoy relationships that's hard to put into words. Their feelings are somehow romantic, somewhat deranged and something much, much deeper.

My desire to ship these two comes from the desire to see them grow beyound their archetypes. Being with PV does give SM the chance to be horrible as can be, yeah, but I'd like to think SM does have a personality outside of being a villainous tormentor. He spends so long observing others, and now for the first time he's being seen. Now SM have met someone who can see right through him, who can glimpse into those dammed vulnerabilities of his. Being with SM does let us see PV in his darkest moments, but it's at the same time the moments where PV can shine the most, to prove SM that his ideals isn't naïveté or simple platitudes. In canon, SM+PV works well as enemies, but it is the many contradictions born when romance is added into the mix that got me shipping. They simultaneously break down and bolster one another's greatest traits. Like binary stars, they orbit around the other, so close yet so far apart, lest they collide. They could've been so perfect for each other. But not in this life, or the next, or the next...

Pixel art time! I have way too much fun w/ Smilk's many faces, his and PV's combined came to around 22 expressions. These are quick to made due to their small size (25x25 px). Zip file includes both the og and 75x75 sizes. I don't mind if any Vanilla milkshakers might use these, just please remember to read the my art terms and conditions first! (which can be found in my About)

Some disclaimer: some images may have different names. This is the first time I'm using Getuploader so sorry if something broke.

Link

[shironezuninja]

Rainy weekend. Rainy Birthday. And how is a Chimichanga TOO Mexican!? I’m a picky eater, Taco Bell, and developing a Deadpool phase wasn’t enough for you to have everything!?

[darkst4lker]

a bed full of snakes is a warfield. // harry potter.

slytherin!harry potter x slytherin!reader

plot: ever since your first year, when you and harry entered slytherin, you've been rivals. always wanting to be better than the other, always fighting, always teasing each other. the problem is that you're so alike, you can't stand each other. until one night harry wakes up from a nightmare, and you help him calm down.

tw: rivals to lovers, mentions of violence, trauma, a nose bleed, sixth year, half-blood prince events, harry is the same harry as always just maybe a little more arrogant bc y'know, he spent five years in slytherin. fluff, angst, nightmares. low caps on purpose. draco and harry get along here.

notes: english is not my first language, but i hope you enjoy anyways. sorry if there's any mistakes.

horace slughorn lessons weren't an easy ride for someone who doesn't know potions. luckily for you, you were one of his most talented students like you were once for professor snape before he started teaching defense against dark arts.

in fact, you were so good at potions that you couldn't possibly believe how on earth harry james potter could be standing in this class and being the best one at it when a year ago he was a failure at this subject.

there was a part of you that was livid by the fact that he was succeeding at the only field you always surpassed him, because you and harry had a tendency of making a nasty competition out of the rest of subjects. but, there was another side of you that was about to explode out of excitement.

you sure loved a good competition, and harry provided that for you and you for him every single time since the two of you entered slytherin five years ago.

it became sort of a symbiotic relationship because he stimulated your arrogance and thirst for success like no other person in your life, it was a hunger you both carried driven purely by the need of being better than the other.

yet, the problem between you and harry was probably the fact that apart from being in an eternal competition, you two fought like if you were at war. draco malfoy, a friend of both of you, hated to be in the same room as the two of you at the same time and so did harry's bestest friends: ron and hermione. you and harry knew how to be awfully insufferable.

well, at least that's what everyone thought until that day.

it was a quite beautiful and warm day outside. the sky was clear as you were leaving slughorn class after being surpassed (again) by harry. at this point it was getting tiring to always lose to him but not even harry could ruin that day for you.

as you walked out of the classroom friendly grabbing pansy's arm, you saw him: his green eyes always standing out, his messy uniform and the way his skin appeared so soft to the touch. you dismissed the thought quickly as harry's look went to yours, and a cocky smile appeared in his lips as he approached you and pansy.

“guess you'll need to settle for the second place.” harry said, obviously teasing you. hermione and ron came chasing after him making obvious that he went out of his way to mess with you.

an annoyed sigh left your lips, it was almost funny to see how harry ego became bigger after every class because it meant that you would surely enjoy much more the moment you finally archived to bring it down.

as you looked at him, his eyes made you shiver a little. the bastard was pretty as a sin, and charming as a snake, but he always forgot that you also knew how to behave like a snake too, and finally your mouth opened to answer him.

“can't live without me, can you?” you answered, an arrogant smile placing itself on your lips. “just wait until i figure out how you managed to cheat in slughorn classes, and i will become his favorite like i was with professor snape.” you added, firing back at him with a determined expression.

“oh, please (y/n). the only reason you were snape's favorite is because he literally hates me unprovoked.” harry joked and you got instantly irritated. “and don't pretend you aren't obsessed with me either.” he said, obviously teasing you.

you looked at pansy, who seemed a little desperate to flee from your encounter and you released her arm letting her go silently. then your eyes went right back at harry.

“for merlin sake, potter.” you said, rolling your eyes at him. “you scared her.”

“no, you scared her.” harry answered, crossing his arms. “you're the one who gets all worked up when i tell you the truth.”

“what on earth are you talking about, potter? you were shit at potions all these five years until months ago, don't get arrogant on me.” you mimicked his actions, crossing your arms too as the words left your mouth.

“yeah sur-...” harry was obviously about to fight you back, until hermione voice interrupted him, making you both remember that you weren't alone.

ron stood back from the encounter clearly tired of your rivalry, and hermione by the other hand seemed in a hurry.

“harry, please we need to go or we're going to be late for herbology.” she said, annoyed. “by the way, hi (y/n).”

“hi granger.” your voice came out friendly. “please hold your dog leash tighter the next time.” you added, a mocking tone on your words as you looked at harry.

you and harry's friends weren't exactly «besties» but you did not hate each other at all. not after what you did for harry in third year.

you had proved that you cared for harry deep inside when a dementor made him fall of his broom breaking it in the process and you stayed by his side for hours before he woke up and even bought him chocolate frogs. hermione and ron didn't understood why you asked them to not tell harry, but they did what you requested out of respect and you disappeared before harry opened his eyes.

and that was your little secret, one you intended to keep forever.

how could you not? knowing that would only make him more arrogant that he already is. also, is not like you did that because you liked him anyways, right?

i mean, he's insufferable, but you didn't wanted him to die by any means. it scared the shit out of you even thinking about the possibility.

in fact, it frightened you so much that you were fighting for him to be safe even now, but he doesn't need to know yet. no one had to know.

except for, of course, dumbledore.

“if im a dog then what are you? a kitten?” harry answered clearly irritated and hermione pulled him by the ear to get him off your neck and dragged him the other way, leaving you with an heated answer stuck in your tongue.

but even if harry's words had made you furious, they also had a clearly effect on you.

“bye, (l/n)” ron said as he followed them, clearly enjoying not being the one scolded by hermione for once. his words brought you to reality again.

as harry left unwillingly with hermione and ron, you stood there for a second. the corridor was almost empty, and you heart was beating subtly faster than always.

was this something normal? when did you started to feel like this?

you didn't knew at all, sometimes it was like you felt this since first year without noticing. yet, this emotion you didn't wanted to acknowledge was really starting disturb your peace.

it seemed harry potter always managed to ruin your day.

hours later, you found yourself laying on your bed. the green sheets embraced your body comfortably, trying to induce you into dreams, but it was impossible.

you were wide awake in the pale moonlight crossing the water covering the windows of the slytherin girls dorm in the dungeons. a sigh left your lips, as you rolled in bed trying to find the exact position to finally catch sleep but instead you heard the door of the boys dorm opening and closing. then steps and a calm sob.

this was not the first time you heard this in your time on hogwarts and you knew what was it, but all these years you were too coward to go out and do something about it.

it was harry, and you knew that he had one of his horrid nightmares.

you decided this was the last night you wouldn't go out and help him, because even if he was annoying, irritating and a bastard, your rivalry had its limits.

as you stood up in your black pajamas, your heartbeat got faster. what were you going to say to him?

for once, a part of you decided it didn't matter.

so when you opened the door, you saw him sitting im one of the sofas of the common room, crying quietly, his face slightly red and with a nose bleed that was getting worse and worse, staining his neck and his pajamas.

you almost ran to his side, casting a quick accio charm with your wand to get an elegant green hanky with your silvery initials embroidered in one of the corners. a gift from draco that you haven't got to use until that night.

harry looked at you almost in shock as you sat on the sofa with him, but he stayed silent, sobbing without making almost any sound. he seemed surprised to see you there but he seemed to calm down a little when you grabbed his face sweetly and used your hanky to carefully try to clean the blood from his face, holding it to his nose.

your fingers got stained with his blood, but you didn't seemed to care.

“hold it in place” you almost whispered, talking to him like he was a crying child.

he subtly nodded, tears still coming out from his eyes.

your fingers approached his cheeks, wiping his tears away even if they would keep coming out. then, while seeing his face, you remembered the photo of james potter in his seeker uniform on the quidditch shelf on one of the hallways in hogwarts. yet, when you eyes met his, another iconic photo came to your mind.

the portrait of lily evans in slughorn's shelf. her loving eyes were the same ones her son had inherited, the constant vestiges of her life were alive in harry and spoke through him like an ocean of sweetness.

you didn't knew why you paid so much attention to harry's parents photos, but something had drawn your curiosity and through the years it became more and more real what everyone thought:

“you really look exactly like your father.” your voice came out, still in a whisper while grabbing his cheeks. “except for your eyes.”

you didn't added what everyone said next, because harry knew it all too well.

he leant against your hands, accepting your touch and a sad smile came out his lips, genuinely moved by your words. words that even if he had heard them a thousand times before, for some reason, he never expected to hear them from you.

and that made his heart skip a beat.

“thank you.” harry managed to say. your soul felt almost wounded at the sadness in his voice, the voice of a dying man, a dying boy, that once had survived death but it kept chasing him over and over again.

and while you fought him on daylight, now you wanted to protect him under the watery moonlight coming from the windows.

“don't mention it.” you answered. your hands didn't moved from his face, now caressing it tenderly.

“please don't tell-...” he was going to say, but you interrupted him.

“i won't tell anyone, you don't have to worry.” you said as you got closer to him. “i never did.”

of course you wouldn't tell a soul. as much as you loved your slytherin mates, you knew that a bed full of snakes is a warfield, and being a lot of them the sons and daughters of death eaters they were surely going to eat harry up with rumours and mean insults.

and, every other time you had heard him come out of his room at night, you always kept it private because being a snake meant surviving at any cost, even if that meant feasting on your own kin to keep yourself alive. slytherin was about enduring, about succeeding.

and those were qualities that helped harry in the many times he had to face tom riddle, slytherin made him understand the dark lord much better but the cost was the constant fear of becoming him, of not being capable of surviving, of transforming into an omen.

“it was one of your nightmares?” he nodded after you muttered the question, taking one of your hands to hold one of his.

“it was about the night my parents died.” harry confessed. the tears had stopped for a moment, but a couple of them left his green eyes. “snape taught me occlumency to keep voldemort out of my head, but i keep having nightmares.” he explained, his voice too calm for someone that cried a lot just minutes before.

you looked at him, his burden becoming extremely palpable to you. the curse of being an unwilling child forced to fight a war that he didn't started, and that he didn't wanted.

you didn't thought much about what you were doing when you took off his glasses, put them on the small table beside the sofa and pulled him into a tight hug, one of your hands in his back, the other on his nape, caressing him.

harry cried on your shoulder, and you tried your best to make him feel held.

“it's okay, let it all out.” soft words left your lips, reassure him. “im here”

he hugged you back, almost desperately. like if he hadn't been comforted in a long time.

“im here, harry i will help you. you're not alone” you said and you instantly regretted it, knowing your words probably blew up your intent of not revealing the secret you've been keeping from him.

as you both broke the hug, harry spoke.

“help me?” he asked, clearly in disbelief. “why would you ever help me?” he asked you, a smile escaping his lips through the tears as if you just told him a joke.

you sighed. it was time to reveal your secret.

“because even if i love to fight with you, i don't want to see you die.” you confessed, you words in a seriousness harry had never heard on you.

he went silent for a moment, suspecting you had something say.

and it was true, because when the year started you parents began to pressure you to become a death eater. a destiny you would quickly share with draco in no less than a couple months.

but you knew way better than that, and in fear of having to do something awful or worse (having to hurt harry) you ran to dumbledore and explained him everything.

albus received your confession with open arms and offered you a way to help harry: joining the order of the phoenix and act as a double spy under the tutoring of severus snape who also acted as a double spy.

you were forbidden of sharing most of that information with absolutely anyone, but here you were, about to confess in front of one of the people you hated the most.

or maybe you loved the most.

because who would put their lives on a stake for a person in who they don't believe? for someone you don't love?

the most beautiful sacrifices are made out of love, out of adoration.

and maybe and just maybe, you loved harry potter.

the realization came to you suddenly, as he waited for an explanation while looking at you.

yet, a realization came to him too.

“(y/n), what did you do?” harry asked, his eyes widening for a moment. “what did you do?” his voice was soft, yet desperate.

“there's a lot of things im willing to do for you.” you admitted, trying to dismiss his question one last time.

“for salazar, please tell me what did you do.” he pleaded, scared that you could be in danger.

something cracked on your insides because facing his desperation, how could you deny him all your secrets?

“i've joined the order.” your answer struck him like a punch straight on the face. “my parents want me to become a death eater, so i spoke to dumbledore. i'll be a double spy.”

harry face went from having a sad expression to a surprised one.

“but how? why?” he desperately grabbed your hands, you thought his eyes had a hint of fear in them but you dismissed it. “you can't just do that for me, you're sacrificing your life if voldemort finds out.”

“i'm doing it happily, harry.”

“but why?!” harry exclaimed, then he remembered that everyone were sleeping and closed his eyes in frustration. “we were fighting this morning, tell me why would you do this?”

“you don't understand.” you said as his hands grabbed yours tightly.

“you can't say that after saying all of this to me, (y/n).” he answered, obviously getting annoyed. “i don't want you to do this.”

“i think i love you harry.” you admitted, looking at him in the eyes. “i did it because i love you, i was just too stubborn to admit that to myself. i sat by your side in third year when you passed out and fell off your broom because i love you. i bought you chocolate frogs that time because i love you, i beated the shit out of crabbe in fourth year because i love you and he said some blood purist shit about you.” you confessed, looking at him, your voice getting weaker with every word said. harry smiled at the last sentence, now understanding why you did that to crabbe in fourth year. he had thought all this time that it had been just a discussion between both of you that escalated. harry remembered your wounded knuckles, and something inside him trembled. “all i ever did was because i love you, even when i fight you.” you finished, your eyes about to tear up a little.

the realization was too hard for you to handle, knowing he probably didn't liked you back.

you both were tearing up, his nose bleed had stopped long ago yet some stains of blood were in his clothes and in your fingers.

your hanky rested on the sofa, your eyes were on his like it was the first sip of water you got on a whole lifetime.

“remember that time in fourth year i approached you with ron, and i stayed silent for like a whole minute im front of you and then fleed?” harry asked, smiling sweetly towards you. you nodded in response, clearly remembering the awkward encounter. “i wanted to invite you to the yule ball, but i got scared.” he confessed. “and then you ended up going with draco so i started picking on you the whole event because i was jealous.”

a laugh escaped your lips as he spoke, you could have never imagined his intentions and now here he was, erasing your fear of harry not loving you back.

“i think i love you too.” he continued. “this is weird tho, i never thought we would be speaking of this”

“yeah, you're right.” you answered, taking your hand out of his to give him a friendly punch on the arm. “how i will get used to be all sweet with you when we're always insulting each other?”

“we'll get there someday.” harry said, chuckling.

a brief silence came between you both as your eyes explored each other's faces, and in a moment he just stopped thinking and made a move.

harry grabbed your cheeks and pulled you to steal a kiss from you, it was sweet yet you felt his subtly swollen face because of the tears, a little taste of blood because of the rest he had on his lips, your own tears finally running free. both of you weren't exactly experienced on kissing, but you managed to keep it loving.

it was the kind of kiss you never thought you and harry would give each other. the intoxicating embrace of a hidden love that somehow managed to survive all these years to finally bloom.

a kiss soaked in a infinite mantra of sacrifice, of purity, of unconditional love. the kind of love you're willing to die for.

yet, the kiss was brief and tender. when you both broke it, your cheeks were subtly pink and his were too.

“this is a good start.” you whispered close to his face, finally accepting the feelings inside your heart.

“yes, it is.” he smiled at you, and then it seemed like an idea crossed his mind.

there was a brief moment of silence before he spoke again.

“if you're going to be a double spy, you'll need to be trained.” harry said. “i can help you practice. it frightens me to think of you dying.”

his offer made you giggle, and you nodded.

“okay.” you answered. “i can help you with potions in return.”

“i mean, i've been managing as you already know, but i don't understand a single thing of what im doing so i could really use your help.” harry confessed, smiling. “you see, i found this book on my first class, it has notes to get every potion right.” he added. “and a spell i desperately want you to learn if you're really going to risk your life like that.”

you leant against his shoulder intertwining your hands.

“im up for it, what's the spell called?” you answered as he leant his head against yours.

harry didn't answered right away, he struggled in his insides to share the information, but now he felt safe with you.

you both didn't had a clue of what was going to happen or if you were going to be together right away. harry needed time, you needed time and all these confessions after years of fighting non stop were confusing the hell out of you. yet, a war was coming and you were going to play a dangerous part on it.

and knowing that you had already made your big move on the board to help keep him safe while putting you at risk, harry realized you really could use knowing his secret.

« a secret for a secret » he thought, thinking on your confession.

when he finally answered, his voice sounded serious but the intention of helping you was there.

his words were dripping honey, the kind of honey someone has inside when they want you to be safe. when they love you so much, they are willing to die thousands of times for you too.

“sectumsempra.”

I HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT!! im a sucker for slytherin!harry so im planning writing more things of him in the future!! ♡