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#pure fucking dread and suffering hell hell hell
c4rr10n · 2 years
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sometime research learning is so bleak and i can feel my own thousand yard stare in my soul and my chest has a leaden weight inside and oh my god oh god oh god what a nightmare i’m witnessing the horrors .  but it’s fine 
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sleeplessdreamer14 · 7 months
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𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊
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summary: Adam catches feelings for a demon and absolutely suffering for it
fandom: hazbin hotel
relationship: adam x demon! reader
contains: canon typical themes, adam being repressed asf
Adam viewed himself as completely righteous and infallible and far above Hell and all its contemptible inhabitants
Every year he and his army would go down and joyfully slaughter as many sinners as they could get their hands on
That was the way things were, and he was more than content with it
But then you crossed his path and fucked all of that up
Of course it wouldn’t be that big a deal if he just thought you were hot
But unfortunately it ran deeper than purely wanting to boink you and be done with it
After a couple weeks of knowing you, it gradually dawned on him that you’d gotten stuck in his head
Try as he might to deny it, and believe you me he’s trying his damndest, Adam wanted more of you, secretly hating how much willpower he needed in order to keep away from you
In a moment of solitude, he caught himself reaching his hand out towards your fiery vision, and was filled with dread as soon as your flames brushed his fingertips and he yanked his hand away
And the worst part is how much he fucking loved the burn
It was at that moment that Adam knew he was fucked six ways from Sunday
He searched himself desperately for any shred of scorn or disgust to focus on you, to blame you for his desire for you, but ultimately came up empty
If Lute ever found out his attraction to you was more than merely sexual, he knew it would go one of two ways;
She would either turn on him in a hot second and he’d be locked out of heaven before he even knew it, or kill you on sight whether you were hellborn or not
Neither outcome was ideal
And Sera would surely condemn him for allowing himself to be bewitched by you
If anyone knew Adam was falling for you, he would definitely fall for real, and he couldn’t let that happen
But it was beginning to look like his fate was sealed
You had quickly become Adam’s most shameful secret
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yawnderu · 10 months
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She Wants Me Dead — Miguel O'Hara x Reader | Part III
1 2 3
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"You have tits now." The sentence is so blunt it almost makes Miguel laugh for the first time ever since the incident.
"Pecs." Is all he can reply, barely even finding the energy to keep his eyes open. He has been working himself to the bone ever since he broke the canon and erased an entire dimension, looking for an explanation, a solution, anything.
"Mhm." Everything felt so cold ever since. 5 months in and you couldn't handle the pressure of dealing with Miguel, who was barely home and didn't even have the energy to do anything with you, spending all day in his office, planning with the AI you came to love, Lyla. You left him at his lowest, appearing only a year after the incident, once Miguel had it together, in a way. The Miguel you're looking at isn't the Miguel you fell in love with.
"I have nothing for you, so you might as well shock off." He dismisses you without even sparing a glance at you, his red eyes focused on the projection of his adoptive daughter— the life he wished he could have and got to experience for a short while before reality came crashing down in him, destroying any piece of what the old Miguel was like. Friendly, nice. He was now full of snark, sarcasm, and a moodiness that seemed to spread to everyone around him, infecting them like a virus.
"I just wanted to see you. See if I got lucky enough to be in your bed again." There's a playful pout on your lips, doing nothing to ease the tension. He wasn't expecting to see you ever since you dumped him, and he could feel his muscles tensing at your mere presence.
"Not happening. Not after what you did." He's stern, cold. His red eyes set on you for a second before returning to his monitor, both wounds still fresh in his soul.
"You're still mad about that? I said sorry." The charming smile you shoot his way is enough to make his blood boil. It's something he has seen far too many times during your toxic relationship, something that previously made him fold and submit to you, despite knowing you're both pure poison to each other.
"Sorry." He repeats with a scoff, hands on his hips as he finally looks down at you. He's much... bigger, in every way. The lanky guy you knew is now towering at 6'9, his body nothing short of pure muscle that could easily crush you like a bug.
"If you want back in, you're gonna have to try much harder. You can't just keep doing stuff like that, not anymore." He's a lot more mature now, even if only a year has passed. You know he suffers from great trauma— hell, you were there to see that for yourself, until you ran away.
"Fine. I'll do anything, Miggy." You reply with a sigh, hands gently tracing his waist before wrapping around it, bringing him in for the so dreaded hug. In reality, you don't feel much about it, but for him... it's like another punch to the gut. He has way too much on his plate, the last thing he needs is his ex-girlfriend, a villain, pretending to be sweet just to get forgiveness.
"Just... be there for me and don't piss me off." He says after hesitantly pushing your body away, being careful enough to not use a lot of force.
Four months in and you've broken that promise more times than he can count, yet the obsession and love cloud his judgement. You're the only thing he can cling on besides his obsession with the canon, and so when he needs a break... he knows you'll be there. Doesn't matter if he wants to talk, cuddle in silence, or fuck. You're always available, ready for anything he has in mind.
"Así, mi amor." He guided your hips up and down his cock, arms wrapped around you like a lifeline as he used your cunt to jerk himself off.
"Too much—" He shushes you with a kiss, bringing your body closer to his until he can thrust into you faster, your whiny moans doing nothing but become fuel to his already exhausted body. His kisses are sloppy, desperate, tongues wrapping around each other in a mess of saliva.
''Wanna prove how much you're sorry? For all the broken promises?'' You regret nodding your head, because now your body is now pinned down on a mating press as he fucks his stupidly big cock into you, pulling out only to slam himself back in, the lewd sounds of your squelching cunt and mixed moaning bouncing off the walls of his room in a melody that you both know too well.
''Want it inside?'' He already knows the answer, but he always asks just to confirm. His thumb rubs on your clit while he holds your thighs up with both hands, looking at the way his cock disappears into your cunt, barely managing to take him all the way. The new position allows him to see more of you in a vulnerable light, and he truly appreciates just how much power he holds over you in this moment, your much smaller body writhing underneath him as your second orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave, unable to focus on anything going on around you except just how good his cock feels. You manage to give him a desperate nod, too overwhelmed to even speak, only whiny moans being able to push past your lips.
''Good girl.'' He praises in a whisper, burying himself all the way inside as he climaxes, pearly white and thick cum filling your insides, painting them a pretty color in what he hopes will finally be the time he gets you pregnant. Hopes, because he knows you're on birth control, and he knows he'll get made fun of if he ever suggests starting a family with you.
He slowly pulls out of you, tired body collapsing right next to you, holding you in his arms like you're made of glass, plump lips planting gentle kisses on your forehead, a total contrast to the man fucking you earlier.
''I love you.'' He confesses softly, the weight of the three words crushing him down every single time they come out of his lips no matter how many times he says them. Despite the lack of energy, you tilt your head, a teasing smile on your lips as you look up at him. He know that look too well, rolling his eyes and groaning in annoyance. You're definitely going to make him grow gray hairs before he even reaches 40.
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wallterwall · 4 months
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-Yum Zlurplie
You know what? Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you.
Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.
My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But then again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worth any more of my words nor my time. Just remember that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.
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puella-1n-somn10 · 9 months
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⚔️Puella Magi Madoka Magica x Pokemon Sword/Shield: Hop and his Witch Form⚔️
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Word count w/o intro: 11,703
Look, I know that the Traveler from Genshin won that poll, but...if I may be honest, I am not ready for what concept I had for them to completely topple apart all thanks to a single shred of lore being aimed at my head at mach speed. Trust me, fellas, I saw the roller coaster that is the Fontaine chapter; if shit is that crazy while we are halfway through the main story, then I dread the revelations that will befall us all when SNEZHNAYA rolls around-!
With all that being said...welcome back, ladies, gents, and those who have casted the dreaded concept of gender out of their lives! For those who are unaware, we are here today to witness what would happen if I were to take the worldbuilding of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and apply them to other media. Today's unfortunate guest for today is none other than the goat himself, Hop!
...Not funny? Ah, alright-
Yes, I am aware that Hop's reputation amongst the fanbase is...controversial at best. Generally speaking, I've noticed that the negative image of this character was formed by the fans prematurely judging him based on his initial lines of dialogue, passionate (which is often mischaracterized as cheerful) attitude, and, I shit you all not, animations (which is more of a fault caused by tight release schedules and the developers being rushed than that of the character himself). From these alone, he tends to be placed on tiers lower than the fucking Gen 6 rivals (no hate towards them, promise, I just wish they were fleshed out more)- which proves to me that not only are those types of Pokemon fans purely visual beings, but that media literacy is dead, rotting, and its tombstone has been Hyper Beamed to Hell and back-
BUT we're not here to rant now, aren't we? My...personal, burning distaste towards those who call him a Hau clone aside, we are here to dissect his character- in more literal ways than one! If I may be honest, this analysis post thinly disguised as a silly, crossover ficlet was created as a thought and writing exercise for myself, and it was quite fun, if I must admit! So I hope from the bottom of my heart that you guys find as much joy in Hop's pain and suffering as I did while writing it!
Just a few quick warnings, this post will contain mentions of child neglect and favoritism, implications of social ostracization and public shaming, and, I cannot stress this enough, mentions of self destruction/S-H/su-c-de. If any of these themes are too triggering, especially that last one, please, please click away! I am being serious here- take the utmost care, and be safe!
Of course, spoilers for Madoka Magica, Magia Record (Anime ver.), and Pokemon SWSH are right up ahead! If I may be honest, I haven't touched upon the DLCs yet, so spoilers regarding them will be minimal at most. There will also be shades of PostwickShipping (Hop <3 Gloria) present, so if that isn't your cup of tea, I sincerely apologize.
It would also be fitting to play some Decretum on the side, too, especially when we get to the despair bit- God damn, he and Sayaka need to be buddies.
-The Wish, Possible Powers, and Soul Gem-
"Before we ever started out on this journey… I remember watching Lee on the telly. He was like a bright star, so strong I could hardly bear to look right at him. But now, I can tell just how strong he really is… And what he's got that I haven't…"
Now, I could go the easy way and say that he'd wish to be as great as Leon- to become as strong as the champion and equally undefeatable, but, honestly, not only does this feel cheap, it feels so...unlike Hop as a character. He doesn't just want to defeat Leon- he wants to prove his worth and make his mark as a trainer. Hop, like the rest of Galar, idolizes his brother- so much so that he copied his strategies and every move; a mistake that had gotten him to lose the fight in the Circhester stadium even after facing off against so many trials and tribulations-
After all, as Bede said it in his own...brutish way, if people looked down on Hop, they will do the same to Leon - the man who Hop looks up to as not just an older sibling, but as a symbol- as an unshakable LEGEND, and not just as a human being -. So if the perception of the man who Hop saw as a hero was to shake all thanks to him...it'd be quite devastating, to say the least. It was this possibility that hit him the most- where his worth and identity came into question.
Hop may dislike losing - a sentiment that grows stronger every time you defeat him -, but what he fears even more is disappointing others; lowering his and his brother's worth in their eyes. He wanted to be number #1 because it was expected of him to do so, by himself, by the public, and, when you think about it, even by his family - whether consciously or not -...
After all, just look at his home- do you see any pictures of Hop around? Left and right you find memorabilia and trophies belonging to Leon, but how much mementos of Hop can you find? Whether or not he was aware of it, Hop craved not just the glory of his brother, but also the validation and positive attention.
This was his path in life- no, this was his destiny, as he'd put it; to become as strong as his hero and receive that blazing torch after living in his shadow for so long. To live up to his splendor, to inspire others to get up and take a stance, and to make something out of himself. His brother was a hero- so it makes sense to imitate someone as amazing and strong as him.
So, after analyzing his character for a bit, his wish could go along the lines of wanting to be by his brother's side, or, more appropriately, to make an impact on the world and the lives of others like he did. After all, we are assuming that he made the contract a bit before his constant losses began to fuck with him; he had confidence in his abilities at least during the beginning, and was certain that he was going to emerge from the final battle victorious.
The powers resulting from this wish could go in a lot of different ways; after all, wishing to make an impact is quite abstract. It isn't like he wished for someone else to get healed or to win on a lottery; so trying to make powers based on that would be tricky. My best guess is that his powers are associated with memories and legacies, which, once more, also fits in really well with how he documented and tried to mimic Leon's strategies and actions.
Now, before we focus on his soul gem and witness it crumble along with his self-esteem, we're going to take a good look at his attire upon transformation into his Magical Boy form- an aspect that, regrettably, I've forgotten to cover back while I was analyzing Medic. Now, this part may be a little unclear to some upon first reviewing the designs present in PMMM, but a pattern is there- and one of the most common reasons behind a magi's design is the intent behind their wish and their desires before or after taking on the contract. In order to prove my point, I'm gonna list some examples:
Sayaka Miki is a knight in shining armor; she wanted to uphold the ideal of a magical girl and fight for what's right
Homura Akemi's outfit is rather...funerary, for lack of a better term; she made her wish as result of her losing Madoka, and had more or less doomed herself to watching the demise of her beloved over and over again
Nagisa's outfit looks like an everyday, ordinary outfit for someone her age; she craved a normal life where she was able to be just like the other kids around her- not having to worry about living in a dump and caring for an unstable parent
Iroha's design invokes the idea of a ranger or even a mercenary; she is dedicated to finding her sister at what cost, even if most of the evidence (or lack there-of) pointed towards Ui not existing in the first place
Being in the spotlight of someone else's life, looking up to his brother, and making said champion an example on how he should lead his life...I think a stereotypical, legendary hero might do it; the main protagonist of tales like Beowulf or even your everyday JRPGs. Hop often made references to him 'weaving his own legend', so this would make perfect sense!
Speaking of-
Regarding his soul gem's shape, simple- upon transformation, it would look just like a small flame placed on his solar plexus like a brooch or button. Comparisons to Leon's charizard aside, it is a simple and straightforward symbol representing his personality; passionate, competitive, hot-headed, and bright- but all flames are prone to dying out one way or another. Hop's association with fire is also presented to us in-canon in his second league card, with him pulling off Leon's signature pose as flames wildly danced around him.
This also brings the idea of him burning himself away to fit into his ideal of a champion to mind, or literally burning himself out. A raging fire ready to render all that is in its path into ash- including himself.
The emblem on the middle of its egg form is a little harder for me to interpret fully. I could go with the easy way and say that it's probably the same as its form upon his Puer Magi transformation, but we all know that my perfectionist ass would not just simply settle with that. The options on our hands are as follows;
The easy option, the Hop flower (symbolizing how becoming a professor is his true calling in life)
A coat of arms (royalty themes- also, a pun on Eternatus' eternamax form, coat of ARMS, heheh)
A spiral (symbol of futility, continuation, cycles, and a downward spiral)
A coat of arms WITH a spiral in the middle (look at the above two points)
A flag (him wishing to create his own legend, and how he was initially a foot ahead of us during the start of our journey together)
A windmill (...we'll get to that, but let's assume it's because of Postwick for now- I personally prefer this one)
A shield with two crossed swords (again, royalty and hero themes)
As for its color, here is where things get interesting; I already spoke about how most soul gems correspond with the eye color of their respective magi, since "eyes are the windows to a person's soul", so a brilliant gold would fit both with this unwritten rule and thematically. However, then I got thinking- Red is also an applicable color, right? It fits his personality, and would clash really well with the cool purples and blues...until I realized that not only is red already going to be present as a sort of secondary (if not primary) color to go along with the existing cool palette in mind, but the added gold highlights would embolden it and make sure this design really pops.
Besides, making red a central color for his magi outfit also adds in to the idea of him still mimicking Leon, whose associated colors are purple, gold, and, of course, the reds of his cape! We aren't completely sure as to how much control a magi has over the outfit they'll don upon transformation, but we do know that Madoka actually designed her own magical clothing, so some input from the magi themselves, whether consciously or not, does contribute to the matter. This would also make a cute little homage to his champion outfit in Pokemon Masters EX!
One last point before we get to the part you've all been waiting for, we have to look at his weapon; yes, his powers are probably associated with memories or even perception, but, according to my research, one's weapon doesn't necessarily have to be tied to the wish. As a matter of fact, aside from Mami's ribbons (symbolizing her being tied to the life of a magical girl and her capturing others in this web of malice whether consciously or not- a literal lifeline), most of the cast's weapons are unrelated to the wishes made, and, like the aforementioned outfits, are more tied to the magi's intents or even personalities;
Nagisa's is a trumpet that blows out bubbles. She wanted her mother to hear her, but she's only ever able to let out little squeaks; the dichotomy between her desire to be acknowledged and wanting to be a decent daughter to a horrible person like her mother.
Homura's is a shield; she wishes to protect Madoka, but a shield alone cannot deflect everything threatening her sweet rose. There's also the symbolism of her hiding behind a shield, both as Moemura (shy and reserved) and Cool Homu (covering her emotions with an aloof exterior); in both cases, she's hiding herself away from the world.
Sayaka's is a cutlass sword. Go figure.
I am not completely sure on Madoka's; she dislikes brutal fighting, so it would make sense for her to use a long-range weapon that she's able to use to snipe enemies from a safe-enough distance. I also heard that a bow and arrow have some sort of significance in Christian lore, but, to be frank, I am not completely sure about this; this section requires further study.
Again, I gotta thank @bluethepearldiver for saving my butt here and on the upcoming natures section! According to them, since I had already removed swords and shields from the equation in order to make space for both Gloria and Victor, a polearm type of weapon would fit him the most! In their own, brilliant words, it is "representing how unattainable his goal ultimately is", and, in my opinion, it is a mid-range weapon- when utilized correctly, Hop would be able to conquer battles that would require either long or short ranged attacks to clear! Also, personally, it brings the image of a sheep herder to mind.
As for the specific type of polearm, that one would require a lot more creativity, but, since Hop comes from Postwick, a weapon that originates from Europe would be fitting. After thinking about it, I believe his weapon is probably a Halberd, due to how it can pierce, chop, or slash depending on the situation. It would also symbolize poor, bright-eyed Hop constantly changing his strategies and teams in order to catch up to us- to finally match us in strength. Every time we met him, he would have different strategies, a different team, a different outlook- he tried every viable, effective strategy, tearing apart the aspects of himself that were deemed roadblocks, pushing himself until he was burning himself way too brightly for his own good, yet...
-Descent Into Despair-
He lost. He had lost yet again, hasn't he?
His grip on the pokeball was shaky. The eyes of the crowd fixated on him as the last of his pokemon fell to the ground. Frozen air filled his lungs; his eyes felt like they were turned to stone, as did the veins in his arms.
The whispers grew louder; the crowd's collective judgement was being passed from one attendant to another. His teeth were about to shatter from the pressure around him alone. Not even Melony's concerns were registered on his mind; all the words around him amalgamated into a brute cacophony that choked all the will and rationality out of him.
His heart was on fire. His lips were dried as he stared at the nothingness before him. It was so hard to continue standing up- fucking impossible to focus on anything but this blunder forged by his own hands- which he now sees as nothing but useless vestiges. His heart was a war drum in the midst of conflict; beating as though the drummer's life was on the line if they were to dare and drop the pace. How he wanted to gouge his own eyes out and rip those ears out...
"Pitiful."
What on Earth was he missing?
He tried to change his strategies, he really did. The sad look on his pokemon’s eyes broke him every time, but they just couldn’t be of good help…he had to be a better trainer.
That’s what good trainers do, right? They make sure their teams were optimal. After all, strategy came first; that was what he learned from all these battles that long moved his heart.
"Foolish."
Another loss.
He looked down at his final, fallen comrade, not taking his shaking hands into account. Was it the cold? The stress? The sheer disbelief of what was before him?
Or was it frustration? A poison seeping between his clenched teeth- ready to curse out himself and direct his anger to the world? Readying him to pound against the earth beneath him until his knuckles were mangled and bloody?
No...no, this can't be it. He had to push himself further- he had to be better. Not a single Pokemon of his would listen to someone as fragile as he was; he had to make an example out of himself if he had to be a strong leader- a hero to them...
"Hypocrite."
Wooloo...
You promised, didn't you?
He stifled his own sobs. Oh, how could you have done this to them, Hop? They were the closest thing you had to a childhood friend! They were right by your side to the very end! All you had to do was to keep their head up, tell them it wasn't their fault, and that you would still enter the league together if you both focused! All you had to do was stay strong-
But you couldn't. You just had to up and leave them; cast them to the dirt where you dragged his good name through.
In the end, he couldn't even uphold that.
"Pathetic."
Over and over...over and over, he had repeated this fruitless, pitiful endeavor- all to no avail.
Finding himself floating adrift, Hop feels as though his very existence was slowly slipping from his fingers; becoming one with the very void surrounding him. He couldn't even feel his limbs, much less his face.
No matter how much he had stretched himself so thin, it just wouldn't work. The evidence was there before him, for all of Galar to see- his true rival and his brother on that field together, the latter holding the other's hand and raising it up in the air...that no matter what he did, all the sacrifices he had made, it was all up there in the air like smoke. His dreams, hopes, and ambitions- gone with what shine in his eyes that were left.
Oh, little sheep...do you not realize that you have tangled yourself within this spider web- the very definition of insanity?
"Worthless."
He's tired.
With each loss, it got a lot harder for him to get up and walk away.
His legs were shaking, and not just due to the harsh winds around him. The winds were picking up their pace, but the eyes, the eyes, the eyes-
Why must you insist on further embarrassing yourself, young man? Can't you tell when it's the time for you to just drop everything and move on with something better for everyone else's sake?
You're just embarrassing yourself at this point- nothing more than a clown attracting disrespect and shame like flies to a rotting carcass much like yourself.
...
Yeah...
What if...it was him?
He couldn't take the watchful gazes of the crowded streets anymore. Oh, how he wanted to hide away in the corners of the world- render his own face into nothing but a crimson pulp just so their judgemental glares, mocking smiles, and whispers would finally leave him alone and hollow.
His heart was racing- his veins were on fire, and his arms were about to burst.
It was too much... Upon stumbling upon a silent, empty, dirty alleyway, he slumped onto his knees as he shook from both the cold and pressure of all the bottled up frustrations in him. At long last, the waterworks finally broke out. Only the night sky and howling winds were his current company; doing little to distract him from his pained heartbeats and dried up throat.
He couldn't hold on to his victories, no matter how feeble or small. It didn't matter what he did or how much he tried, all that he's tried holding on to will just slip away from his fingers, like the breaths of fresh, cold air escaping him; inhaling just enough as to not allow him to pass out on the spot, but it was only that much.
The sound of metal clanging on the ground escaped his ears. It was only when he was finally slumped on the ground that he had noticed the fading luminescence just before his reach. Even as his body shook from the mental strain and the cold, he still recognized the jewel that was on the dirtied ground. Hands shaking, he slowly picked up the once brilliant object...
Through jittering teeth, he just couldn't help but sob whilst instinctively smiling; the sound coming out like a sort of soft giggle...
Hahahah...oh, don't tell him- don't tell him he couldn't...
What a mockery- look at him, everyone! Not only had he failed the challenges before him, but, oh, this poor damn pest- he couldn't even look after his own damn soul gem! The very thing he had traded away what was left of his identity outside of the league for- and even then, with his wish, it only made sure that his mistakes would return to him in even stronger, more merciless manners. Was it due to him being unable to focus on both perfecting his strategies and his duties as a puer magi?
For all Hop cared at that moment, it was just another sign of his pathetic, useless existence. Worthlessness- no, he was way beneath that; he had failed. He had failed, he had failed, he had failed, he lost, he had motherfucking lost.
Answer yourself this, Hop- Do tell how you expected to come so far like this! How you have managed to shamble and shuffle through the league challenge like the worm you are, with nothing but another's achievements to your name- and you couldn't even take good care of that!
"...Useless..."
Hop shakily breathed out.
"Hah...if only I wasn't born so useless..."
His grip on both sides of his head grew tighter. As he gritted his teeth and his eyes twitched, one last thought flashed in his mind-
"There's...nowhere left for me..."
"Everyone else is moving on without someone...some pest like I am..."
With all the air that was left in his lungs, Hop roared into the night and unleashed all the grief in his heart. His anguished wail was interrupted by a sudden crash, and all that was left were the howling, autumnal winds...
.
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.
.
Word of the contestants' escalating behaviors grew amongst the people of Galar.
At first, it manifested as deepened anxieties; competitors being so overwhelmed by the upcoming events that it caused them to hyperventilate, shake uncontrollably in between sobs and unintelligible screams, or, at worst, completely melt down; faces reddened by tears as they were unable to remove themselves from the ground due to the paralyzing nervousness and hysteria. Initially, these incidents were brushed off as being related to the individuals' worries over the nature of the Gym Challenge, on top of the resulting trauma caused by the Darkest Day; even after the region was granted another chance at seeing the bright, blue skies, tensions were still at an all-time high, so, at the time, this appeared to have been the most rational conclusion.
It was when they've descended into thrashing bitterness and violence, however, that concern was finally demanded and raised- and, along with them, a whole basket of questions that craved all the answers in the world; anything to make sense of what was unraveling. Many a stadium had to close down - some even in the midst of these breakouts - for investigation purposes in order to get to the bottom of this anomaly.
Before long, rumors began to spread amongst the Galarian public- both on the streets and on social media; ranging from a contamination of sorts, to possible side effects of the Darkest Day that the current chairman was uninformed of. In the end, one by one, the majority of the gym leaders had to step forward admit that they knew as much as the rest did regarding the matter, but that did little to help stop the creation and spread of conspiracy theories, and they soon devolved into a competition of its own; on whose hypothesis is the most click-worthy and attention-grabbing.
Nothing was stacking up; everything had been tested - the water, the air, the soil, and especially the power spots -, the stadiums were inspected from top to bottom, and even the gym leaders were interviewed; it all came back negative.
The chairman himself had gone dark.
In the midst of the mass hysteria, right everyone's noses, the range of whatever was influencing these stadiums, the...being that has sending all these people into these frenzies...was growing.
Violent breakouts and missing persons reports spiked without ever showing a sign of slowing down. Nay, not even the gym leaders were spared- with Bea finally coming to her senses while Allister tried to subdue her and not hurt the rest around her, and Milo's herd of Wooloo going completely berserk and in complete panic not unlike the contestants and their own pokemon.
It was at its assumed worst when it had finally reached Postwick Town. Most of Galar had succumbed to what was engulfing it with its malice and twisted hopes, and, according to theorists, they doubted it would stop there. The people residing in the Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra were given the order to lock down and cease all functions until further information's released, in the vain hopes of preventing the spread of its influence.
And then-
Silence.
Everything around them was completely dim, with nothing but small flickers of flame and their own eyes' adaptation to help traverse them through what became of the region; a dim, cold land with ashy skies overhead, overrun with scared wildlife and...monsters- beasts you have never seen the likes of before. Perhaps staying still while you're able to recognize Galar while you could would be the wisest choice; stray far enough, and the world around you will fade, shift, and turn, until you find yourself not outdoors anymore, but in a dingy, suffocating hallway filled with cracks and little to no light-
and, soon enough, you will realize that you are not alone.
To the most fortunate (or unlucky, depending on the perspective), the sight of the missing people was there for them to see; lined up for their next battles and subsequent executions. Days of being trapped, fought, beaten up, and isolated in pain did a number on their psyches, and that is without mentioning the existing effects that have already engulfed Galar; plunging them into insanity.
By the braver and most informed few, most of the missing people have currently been accounted for- most, had it not been for the unfortunate casualties resulting from...all that has been unfolding around them, whether they were still yet to be found, were done in by beasts swarming through these twisting tunnels, condemned by whatever's waiting for them at the center of this cursed maze, or...just couldn't take it anymore, is still up in the air. Those whose statuses have not yet been confirmed included the younger brother of the former champion himself- who, quite possibly, may have been one of the earliest victims, if the timeline was to serve them right-
Oh, but if only they knew better- that the bright-eyed, enthusiastic Hop was right back to where it all started; watching the competition from atop the stage, waiting for the next match to begin. The empty husk that was once "Hop" was silent; slumped to the back to his seat with his dull, milky eyes staring into the distance, as the crowds roared once the hero and his new challenger entered the fray.
Yes...yes! Cheer for him! ONLY HIM!
Shaking from the cold and the tension of her surroundings, Gloria's attention darted from the armored monstrosity to her unconscious rival amongst the masses. His colors all but completely desaturated- it was nothing short of a miracle seeing his body still somewhat intact, though his sunken face and sloughing skin - some even falling as soon as she grabbed on to him; revealing pale bone -...without thinking, the armored girl screamed.
Contrasting Gloria's priority shifting from grabbing on to Hop's corpse and make a break for it to taking down that thing who must have caused it, Leon was...silent. His heart sank as he fell on his knees- his eyes shook as he fixated on the monster before them. His blood ran ice cold; it was so hard to breathe without sobbing...
Gloria and the gym leaders who have finally located the arena - those who have and haven't contracted - deemed that being a monster- Hop's God damned murderer, but Leon knew better.
The gold hues that were pooling from what's assumed to be the monster's eyes were unmistakable.
His own little brother was right before him, waiting to fight him in the middle of this arena-
Just like how he had promised- like how he had always wished for...
-The Witch's Nature-
Ah, the most unpredictable section of this post- the one where yours truly is expected to agonize and sob over all the options before me. Character complexities are complex! Multiple reasons behind despair! Oh, how is your truly ever going to choose the perfect nature for a warlock that would not only encompass the magi's goals and history with only a few words, but one that would also feel fitting for a spooky being like a witch?!
Welp- once more, I have thank Blue for their brilliant input once more! They've decided that his nature would be Admiration, and, honestly, it's genius! It not only fits his overall character, goals, and what caused his sanity to go downhill with the brakes cut off, but it has the right amount of dissonance that the witches of PMMM are known for! Again, this has been your reminder to support them- c'mon, chop chop, that's an order.
Of course, nothing wrong with mentioning all the other, though scrapped, natures. Again, you're all free to reinterpret the warlock to your hearts' content, and if you do have any other suggestion that would fit, please let me know! I not only want to understand Hop's character better, but I do wish to improve my character-deciphering and writing skills. Once more, I encourage all sorts of fair criticism heading my way, and, with all that being said, here's the losers' club:
Reflective
Smitten
Idolizing/Idolization
Competitive (decided that this one might fit Nemona better if I ever got into ScaVio and made a witch for her. Later. Inshallah.)
Self-abandonment (look at the above, but with Bede instead)
Self-immolation
Guilty
To yearn/Yearning (again, Nemona)
-The Witch's Appearance-
"It's not enough! I've got to try harder! And harder and harder till no one's laughing!"
Alright, first thing's first, before we dive into ANYTHING, we need to touch upon Hop's self-image and how it transforms through the course of the game. From the beginning, he is just so confident in his abilities and goals; it wasn't just a desire, it's a goal- he will beat Leon! He will become champion! One day, he's going to be on that stage; he WILL fight Leon, and he WILL beat him- just we wait!
And 'wait' we didn't.
For all his talk about creating his own legend, of taking up the mantle, we have done nothing but drag his face through the dirt without failure.
The more we beat that poor fella up, the more...desperate he became, and it gets cranked up to 11 once Bede humiliated him; calling him a waste of space, and that all he is doing is tainting his brother's legacy by trying, so it would be best for all parties involved he should just stop that. If he just stopped trying at all. If he just gave up at once. He still tries to maintain the spirit of friendly competition between the main character and himself, but the constant humiliation has been getting to him, and the talons that are digging in to his mind are sharp.
It is then that we finally realize that the once-confident trainer who initially accompanied us is no more. This hatred towards himself only grew with time, and, even when he had reintegrated Wooloo/Dubwool into his team, his self-worth was still nigh-non existent; he dared not accompany us during even the post-game story, believing that he would just be slowing us all down, and how we would fare and be better without someone like him around.
In Hop's eyes, he was a burden; a waste of space, and, no matter how much he tried to fight it, those words would persistently repeat in his mind. His constant defeats didn't help, either, whether it was by our or any other trainer's hands-
Hell, it can be argued that Hop's earlier confidence and passion were nothing but "fronts"; he had always cheered Leon on and idealized (dare I say even worshiped) him to no end, but, aside from the promise that he would, one day, defeat his brother and become a champion, what other positive things did he say about himself? What other dreams did he hold? He owed so much of his own knowledge about Pokemon battles to Leon, after all. This can be seen in the third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings, if we choose to interpret Wooloo's actions as reflective of Hop's- trying to be something it is not, and, ultimately, causing it to stray far from "home".
He wanted to be the hero of his own story. That's all he wished for. Instead, we've shoved him into the sidelines- face first on the dirt, without even realizing our strengths.
History repeats once more- the tale of Leon and Sonia all over again.
The image of a knight, a warrior, a hero is definitely a strong base to start it all off. The ideal knight in shining armor, he who stands up for everything right- the unbeatable champion of the people. Not just a person to look up to, but a symbol- that's all he wanted to become; just like how he saw his brother.
When he realized that his current tactics didn't work, everything had to go out the window. We aren't saying this lightly- everything. His plans, his . He had to change everything about himself- until he realized that the problem weren't his teams or his plans...it was him. It has always been his fault- he was just weak, nothing more than a pathetic worm.
The armor is scraping every fiber of his being. No matter what, he still cannot attain the strength and glory of a champion- so he has to keep doing this; break and melt himself. It isn't right, it hurts, but he deserves that pain- he deserves the agony and so much worse for the sin of his existence.
But it's not enough. It's not enough, and it will never be enough. Flaming hot, red daggers will forever pierce through his flesh and skin; melting and reshaping him not necessarily just to fit his desired goal, but as punishment.
It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't change his sheer, fucking incompetence. He'd bash himself against the wall, turn his knuckles bloody, and have his howls of torment be drowned out by his observers' whispers and harsh judgements, but it doesn't change the fact that he deserved every second of it. He had to keep molding himself, he had to suffer, he had to pay for being such a pest to everyone's lives and for being so weak...
No matter how much he tried, it doesn't change the truth that he is no damn hero; he is here as a prisoner, present to repent for his crimes of his pathetic existence...
Oh, yeah. Futility is not just a present theme, but we are running to the HILLS with it.
Next up, we look at his actions- the "spice" and depth this brings to his warlock's design.
Let's retrace our steps a bit and look at Hop's character before and after the main story; as soon as we boot up the game for the first time, there we see Hop being so excited over his brother finally coming home- he was practically shaking and jumping by the news of it alone! He just couldn't wait to see him again, much less what he must have brought back with him- and, when he laid his eyes on the starters and chose his, he was over the moon and the sun; this was the beginning of his legacy! Ah, even his own mother said that he had to learn some patience.
Compare and contrast to his attitude in postgame- he's a lot more mellowed out, but that can be better described as him finally being burnt out. He had nowhere to go, no goal to attain, and not a single strength to his name. Bede and Marnie are training to become gym leaders, Leon's the new chairman of the Galar league, Sonia is on the way to become the new regional professor, but Hop? There was nothing left for him. There isn't anything he was able to do that others could do even better- all that was left for him was to rot in the fields, forgotten and cast away like the object of shame he was.
"I don't know how much I can really help... If I come along, I might just end up slowing the rest of you down..."
I've already established how the warlock might be imprisoned in a sense; all to symbolize how he must have felt during his downfall and the lengths he went through in order to become someone worthy of becoming champion- of sharing his brother's legacy, but we should also take how he first started off into account. We already have the pain, but where is the tragedy in it all? The downfall of his confidence? The fall of Hop, the once bright-eyed, confident, and proud young man? How could we symbolize the face that we have flicked his passion and convictions away with the push of our buttons?
Passion...glory...destruction...hotheadedness...Lee...Charizard...
"Fire- and lots of it!"
Yeah, this should not come off as a surprise - given how I have already mentioned it dozens of times already -, but, hey, if Ophelia has a lot of flames in her design to symbolize the tragic end of her family and her own hotheadedness, then I can't see why the same cannot be applicable to our uncrowned prince of Galar. Truth be told, I think the fire is burning at him to this day; as I already mentioned, he is in a constant state of melting down and reshaping himself to no end to fit an ideal that is so far away from him, and what better way to do so than by forcing himself to endure these flames to no end- not just to burn away all his mistakes, but to subject himself to what rage and disappointment he believes Leon must be feeling? You cannot ask for a more fitting punishment, no? Quite ironic as well, if you'd ask me.
Plus, as a warlock, he wants the people to cheer for him- only him! What better way is there to grab their attention and love than by becoming the brightest thing on the battlefield?! Yes, it's all worth it in the end, hearing the people of Galar scream just for him alone- oh, he couldn't be happier! That is all he desires! If we thought Oktavia craved attention, think again.
Speaking of lengths he went through to become someone he is not, let's talk about him changing his teams; this is his point of transformation as a character, where the cracks in his confidence begin to grow alongside his desperation. At this stage, Hop was willing to make any sacrifice necessary to meet that goal of his- if he fails, not only were his dreams on the line, but so was Leon's reputation. The only constant between these teams is the starter Leon gave him- with teary eyes and a regretful heart, he had damned the experiences and memories he shared with the 'mons he caught along the way, for all that mattered at that moment, all that was worth keeping, was the one thing that held any sort of direct connection to his future glory; the very gift his brother gave him. It should be worth it though, right? He's only becoming better, becoming stronger, becoming the best trainer he could be-
Isn't that right, Wooloo?
Oh, man, wooloo. What kind of Hop-centric design would this be if I didn't incorporate this cute little sheep in some form or another? If not the sheer GUILT he must be feeling? Since I already covered how the warlock would be forever unsatisfied with his form, let us talk about the promise he made with Wooloo, and how him breaking it must be haunting him. Just up and abandoning them, his lifelong partner pokemon must hate him for such a cowardly decision- it should hate him; he had backed out of such an important vow between them, and implied that it was their fault that he was unable to reach his goals. Ultimately, it is his guilt and self-hatred that got him here; whenever he wasn't melting down and reforging himself, he was always fighting for the audience's attention- a whole herd of sheep who constantly demand a spectacular show. It felt right for his first partner pokemon to judge him, after all- he must be condemned for his disloyalty...
Building upon the last point- since Wooloo, his very first pokemon, was also removed from the team, this would translate beautifully into him removing parts of himself to fit that perfect mold, and what better way than to add in sheep elements to his design? The warlock having hooves as dark as obsidian for feet? Broken horns that might be mistaken for parts of his armor? Heck, even the gnarly skeletal system resulting from us combining that of a human's and a sheep's? While I am not too sure about what exactly is going on underneath his helmet, I will just assume that at least its base form resembles a mutilated black sheep's face, because of, well, Hop seeing himself as the black sheep of the family. Combined with his halberd, which I am certain would carry on from his last form to this one, this would bring the idea of a twisted sheep herder of sorts, on top of the existing themes of sacrifice that are already associated with cattle in multiple religions.
Of course, we can't go wrong with referencing him copying Leon's tactics in battle and said worship! This, too, will be a source of pain to his warlock; not only does his armor resemble draconic scales (again, Charizard), but the base of his helmet would bear the shape of Leon's beard. This also ties in to the above point of him trying to reshape his form to that of the champion's in order to achieve prestige and victory by following in his hero's footsteps, but its ultimate purpose in the end is the further erasure his form and himself; all that made Hop 'Hop'. He is constantly slicing away at his being just to fit that mold....
Yes, he also gets to keep the cape; much like his halberd, I can't see why this element of his magical boy form would not get carried over here, as it also assists with establishing the theme and desire to be like a big shot like his brother. Its red coloring would also be of nice contrast to the ashen grey or deep darkness of his armor, although it is tattered and not as magnificent as it used to be in his eyes. The armor already boosts the idea of a hero, but, combined with all of the elements from above and Hop himself going down the slippery slope, this monster right here invokes the idea of a fallen hero; bright-eyed protagonists who have become jaded over the course of their journeys or have decided to outright give up on their ideals and goals- some even opting to join the opposing side of the narrative outright.
I should also mention his inability to look at Leon in the face and how he didn't want negative attention to be drawn towards him in spite of Hop's desire to face off against his brother- some eye trauma, maybe? Would the mementos of Leon in his barrier bring him pain? Or...would the warlock be unable to see past the "glory" of the champion and his dreams? How his mistakes are blinding him? Maybe what he saw was so bright, so brilliant, that it blinded him to everything else; turning his eyes into burning pools of blood resembling molten steel?
Now, we calculate his karmic potential, his emotional volatility, and how they contribute to his warlock's strength.
While I was first working on this post, I thought that maybe he would have cracked after he had lost against the gym leader of Circhester Stadium - Melony -; after all, he must have been devastated, with all these eyes watching him as his final pokemon fell, but then I remembered two key details-
His self-esteem did not get any better by the end of the game's main storyline. In fact, it was at its lowest during postgame- and he even brought a comically large shovel to dig wayyyyy deeper, courtesy of Sordward and Shielbert!
His karmic potential not only stems from him being the champion's little brother, but his role in stopping the second Darkest Day.
So, in a way, that loss would be considered to be more of a catalyst for his despair rather than the straw that broke the camel's back, not unlike Sayaka learning the truth behind the soul gems or Hitomi's confession to Kyosuke. He may have brought Dubwool back to his party, he may have appeared okay-ish after we've defeated him in the semi-finals, he may have helped us save the day, but his internal conflict didn't dissolve just like that- you cannot erase all these years of constant comparisons, long-standing dreams, horrible impostor syndrome, and such an inferiority complex just like that with the snap of one's fingers.
Truth be told, he was supposed to finally give in after said semi-finals, but, out of urgency, he held on just for a little while- for just enough time to assist us with finding Leon and stopping Rose's plans. Now that everything was said and done - now that everything was laid to rest -, the eyes just wouldn't stop staring at him, the whispers didn't cease, and Hop...he was tired- he was oh so tired. Falling on his shaky legs and the harsh thoughts in his heads still not slowing down, Hop had finally closed his eyes and gave out his final farewell...
Also, Sordward and Shielbert will die by my hands for making his self esteem go further down the toilet in postgame, I swear to Allah-
From all that, we can see that not only are legends, prophecies, and destinies HUGE themes for when it comes to the design of his barrier, but that his warlock is gonna be powerful. Now, I don't wanna be redundant by saying that he, too, would be as tough as Walpurgisnacht (we've already done that with Medic, though, after thinking about it, he'd be more comparable to Hyades Daybreak), but saving an entire region is, putting it lightly, a huge feat, and that's without us touching upon his supposed connection with the legendary pokemon, one of Galar's heroes of myth, Zacian. In between being tied to almost a hundred destinies (Madoka) and saving the entirety of France (Tart), putting an end to the apocalypse - The Darkest Day - has got to be up there.
I know this sounds like a sort of repetition on my end, but remember what Homura said back during episode 9; "from here on, for every person (one) has saved, (they) will curse another". So, while Medic got his powers thanks of a combination of his own karma and how he had fused 8 other souls into him, Hop's karma was all his. In short, by this logic, Galar is beyond fucked.
Oh, and, y'know, the whole deal with him being the champion's little brother and Gloria's childhood friend. With all that in mind, bro's warlock is not just stupidly powerful, but outright broken. Not at Ultimate!Kriemhild levels, but that's still not good news in of itself, isn't it?
In the end, whether he had completely given up after he had lost to Melony or during some time between the events of the main story and postgame is up to you and your interpretation of Hop as a character. For the sake of this segment alone, I will just go with the idea that, if he despairs before the climax of the main story, his warlock would be a formidable foe, but not yet a world-ending threat like either Walpurgisnacht or Crépuscule de La Reine.
For comparison's sake (and to paint a clearer picture), I'd say that he could be as powerful as Gisela, if not moreso. From the PSP games, we can see how resilient and tough that witch is - so much so that she is tied to both Mami's and Kyoko's backstories -, so surpassing her strength is still a commendable feat. Much like his depiction in the section above, the warlock would still be capable of cursing many stadiums at once and cause such intense panic in order to take the league challenge down with him by making the contestants to go completely berserk, and, if he so wishes, he could render an entire village into ash.
However, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'll still be running with the idea that, thanks to the player, Bede, Sordward, Shieldbert, his family, and Galar's corrupted celebrity culture, the entire region has yet another apocalyptic event to go through, and only Arceus could save them now- basically what happens during the above despair segment. Good job, everyone! Enjoy listening to Grass Skirt Chase while ya could! /j
Now that we got the basic picture of the warlock down, let's cut to the chase and dive in to his barrier. I've had a lot of fun with this one, so buckle up!
As I already mentioned in my previous Medic post, a witch's labyrinth is stated to be the "mental landscape of the magi before they turned into a witch". From analyzing the barriers of the Holy Quintet and the other existing witches from the original anime, I've already deduced that they must be tied to either core memories, coping mechanisms, or desires-
HOWEVER,
A more simplistic take on all that would be "a place that rubs salt on the magi's/witch's wounds"; makes more sense, no? Candeloro is forever alone in her little tea party, Charlotte is in a silent conversation with another doll- unable to speak about what's on her mind, and, for goodness' sake, Ophelia's barrier is underwater. It is just logical to see that a labyrinth is designed to keep the witch miserable; specifically made to remind them of their own shortcomings, mistakes, broken hopes and dreams, and all that they've lost by the act of contracting with an uncaring trickster like Kyubey.
Unsurprisingly, with this idea in mind, I think the barrier would be a twisted version of a stadium, lit up by raging fire. The audience is present; their eyes ever-staring at you as their yells echo throughout the arena. You just know that your actions and failures will be recorded for future generations to see, mock, and spit at- after all, you are now trapped in a legend that is yet to be completed! Yes, even the style of your surroundings looks like it could fit right in an old storybook or any of the murals present across the region. Not too far away from this labyrinth's center, you are able to find multiple cages housing the victims he had captured; fighters worthy enough for him to test his skills on or put on a spectacle for all the audience to see.
In the middle of the battlefield, in the shadow of a large statue behind him, lies the warlock; broken, battered, burnt, and practically melting, but his duty remains clear as daylight- bound to his punishment and his own selfish desires, it has become his goal to defeat you before the audience. It is his destiny to be bound to this stage, having to pay for the sin of his existence.
The trinkets of Leon - or a silhouette that resembles him - that surrounded him in his own house are also present; after all, they are tied to his motivation, admiration towards Lee, and his wish to become champion. Even until now, the warlock and his familiars take good care of them, though he despises the reflection cast by them.
I should also make a quiiiiiiick note Pokemon Masters EX; you see, upon activating a character's sync move, they are displayed in front of locations present in the canon of Pokemon known as their "mindscapes", and, fellas, upon finding out that said places are significant to each person's story and life one way or another, I've realized that I have stumbled upon a hail Mary for PMMM/Pokemon crossover fanatics out there, myself included. Of course, I wouldn't recommend using these mindscapes alone as a sort of easy way to make barriers, but they do act as nifty, optional blueprints or spices to make those labyrinths look more colorful or representative of these characters.
When it comes to Hop, his mindscape, unsurprisingly, depicts Postwick Town. The location doesn't change when he becomes a Neo Champion, with the only alterations made to the artwork is that it is now nighttime and the presence of small flickers of flames dancing around; burning as brightly as the stars above - one more point towards fire being a persistent theme here -. Perhaps if you've gained enough of an upper hand and luck in battle to grant you some time to look at the ground, you can see that there's specks of white paint that faded away with time; the surface still resembling that of a soccer field's to this day, not unlike the one in his backyard.
To reflect his mental state and emotions of worthlessness and futility prior to him crossing over the point of no return, well, here's where the fun and pain come in-
The halls of the labyrinth are...suffocating; as soon as you enter, you realize that the area is only wide enough for a single person to traverse through. It's so dark, too; only the oil lamps and unmaintained lanterns present provide any form of luminescence, and even then, you have to be careful; one small misstep, and it is you who will be up in flames.
You also get the sinking feeling that you are being watched through the cracks and holes of suffocating halls; a feeling exemplified by the sounds of rain and howling winds just outside. The oil lamps do nothing to alleviate the bone-biting cold around you- the warmth provided is minimal at best. Not too far away, peculiarly enough, you can hear what must sound like...a radio; the details of what is being said is unclear, but the language is actually understandable if you happen to know Arabic. Through static and compressed sounds, you can hear that the voice on the radio is...reciting a nasheed; one chanting about the light of honor, victory, and divine heroism in the face of adversity, with determination being a repeated theme peppered in. No matter which hallway you turn towards, you cannot seem to get any closer to the source of the sound.
As you make your way to the center of the barrier, in spite of the lack of windows present, you decide to be a little brave and take a peak through the torn cloth or any of the cracks on the wall; you find that not only are you not at all far away from the hallway you've already visited, but that you appear to be going down a spiral- but this can't be possible! It is like you've done nothing but repeating the same steps over and over, only for your determination and desires to bring you down...
The winds have gotten louder - clashing with the noise present in the halls -, and your legs feel so tired...
You cannot take it anymore. You finally deduce that, if you want to face off against the warlock right then and there, then you better take a nosedive; break through the halls and descend further and further until you reach the arena, and face off against a furious gladiator- angered and heartbroken by the prospect of you destroying these mementos. How could you?! Such an act is beyond heinous in his eyes! You are no honorable opponent like the rest of them- nay, he is here to strike you down, to restore and clear the champion's name...
To rub salt on his wound a little more, let's add in more references to the people who affected Hop's life- those who have sent him down a spiral, whether consciously or not.
At the end of some of these hallways, you can find shrines that are clearly meant for worship; moreso than the memorabilia that are already present. A large statue rests in the middle of it, surrounded by worn pictures depicting a silhouette of a man and damaged, worn-out books and scrolls. The scent of smoke is present, alongside ashes on the ground; the warlock or one of his familiars must have been near the shrine not too long ago.
Some parts of the halls, namely what items made of organic material like cloth, are clearly damaged- whether caused by burns, cuts, or, most strangely of all, moths. The bothersome nature of these little creatures not only represent Bede tearing apart at his self-worth, but also his reliance on Chairman Rose- such a depiction may symbolize his actions and words' effects on Hop's self-image and life, but it also acts as a subconscious, final "fuck you" to white-haired youth; at the end of the day, Bede is just an unwanted, insignificant insect who gravitates towards any source of light while causing great disaster to others, even at the detriment of his own life.
...but...isn't that what you have cursed yourself into, Hop? Having to prove yourself to someone who is so far away for all eternity? To mimic them? All for a part of their attention and approval- much less a sliver?
They have both locked themselves in a cycle of attempting to appease to someone in their lives at the detriment of their own health...
Upon his defeat, once the crowd cheers at his defeat, the walls will crumble, and the debris will crush and pierce the warlock - whether he was still alive or dead by then - as you finally get a look at the outside world... Rolling hills that span for miles greet your vision as the grey, rainy skies conceal the afternoon sunlight- but it still is brighter than the suffocating arena and its connected halls. Not too far away, you are able to spot a windmill, still going on for what seems like several vicious years, if its poor state was any sign. Ah, if not for the chaos around you, the flickering silhouettes of round sheep in the distance and the smell of grass and rain really makes it feel like you're right back home...back in Postwick...
To end all this on a high note, let's touch upon his witch's kiss/warlock's whisper/evil cutie mark. Thankfully, I got it as soon as I could; one of those old emblems that acted as tickets to a gladiator match depicting a simplified sheep's head! To add some freakiness, the sheep face is stripped to the bone on one half, and glaring right at the person looking at it on the other. A circle of hop flowers surround the disfigured head, and the emblem itself appears to be half-melting.
-Witch Card-
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Sayf Al-Muharib. The Gladiator warlock, whose nature is admiration. The light of an old hero's glory - eternally out of his reach - had caused his sight to turn into searing, painful ichor; blinding him to all but his own failures and shortcomings. As penance for the sin of his existence and weakness, the warlock is in a constant state of breaking down, melting, and reforging himself whilst in preparation for his next battle in the hopes of searing away all the flaws in him - all that lead him to his incriminating mistakes - and achieve a perfect form. He is unable to recognize the being beneath his armor anymore, nor could he remember the vision he had prior to his entrancement.
The cries and cheers of his familiars herald another chance for the warlock to prove himself and absolve the legacy of his hero once and for all- but, no matter what, the crowd is never satisfied, and neither will he ever feel proud of himself for the victory. He will never be an inch closer to the light of legend he craves so badly. To emerge from the battlefield victorious, one must not lose sight of their promise in the midst of battle.
(His name is inspired by Sayf bin Omar/سيف بن عمر, a Muslim historian and compiler. It should also be of note that the reliability of Sayf's ahadeeth have been a point of controversy to this day. When translated, the warlock's full name means "The warrior's sword".)
(The fact that his first name literally means "sword" bears two meanings depending on the protagonist- if it's Gloria, then it reflects how he tags along with and respects her though he is seen as incomplete without her presence in the eyes of the rest; while if it's Victor, then it's the clash between their friendly rivalry and his growing respect towards him. Either way, it also symbolizes how the MC stole his spotlight and destiny, and how they broke him and his dream apart throughout their journey.)
(Also, Homura fits the criteria needed to defeat him, let's GOOOOOOO-)
-Familiars-
Batel (plural form: Abatil). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is preservation. A scholar at heart, the warlock analyzes the actions of the hero of legend to learn from them for future endeavors. Prioritizing the opulence and safety of these treasures, these small followers of his are on constant lookout for anything that would posses a danger to these sacred masterpieces while archiving the feats of the champion for future re-readings.
Unfortunately, their master despises the reflection cast on the memorabilia; forever reminding him of what he will never become. He will hang his head down in their presence out of both respect and shame, lest the sight of the failure he had become shatter what was left of his original heart once more.
(Symbolizing Hop's knowledge of battling in general; jokes about type advantages aside, he was always analyzing Lee's battles and was eager to use his knowledge during battles. It's also one of the key reasons as to why he chose to become a professor in the end.)
(Yes, the warlock himself also does his job at chronicling the feats of Leon - even going as far as to imitate them to this day -, but not only are the Batels there to assist him (I mean, they are his familiars), but they also sort of symbolize how...exaggerated Leon's achievements can get, especially in the eyes of others- including Hop's.)
(Its name is a play on words in Arabic; "Batal/بطل" means "Hero", but "Batil/باطل" can either mean "of no good use" or "useless". Leon was the hero, his hero, his ideal- Hop, on the other hand, was just dead weight to him.)
(Another note to add is that Hop's uniform number is 189, which, when read in Japanese, can mean "Hiyaku"; leaping. While the warlock himself would be struggling to walk with these hooves of his and his mutilated form melting and meshing with the armor, I can also see that the Abatil's only way of moving around is through leaping, since they would probably have only one leg to stand on. Ah, I love the smell of symbolism in the morning.)
-
Al-Daja (plural form: Al-Dajij). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is to uphold competition. Ever-so excited for the upcoming battle, the crowd will explode into applauds whenever a new victim enters the stadium and comes face-to-face with their master. Their never-ceasing cheers always demand for more, and, not wanting their wide, unblinking eyes to stare at all his faults and mistakes, the warlock complies.
The warlock will try and not show a sign of degradation to his opponent- he'll hold out until they sing songs of his glory and his story gets passed down from generation to generation. However, these minions will often times become so entranced with the relics and spectacle that they would forget the identity of their master altogether, and even start cheering for the new challenger once the warlock is thrown into a corner.
(Based on Hop's personal drive - to become as glorious and powerful as the unbeatable champion himself -, how the losses have been affecting him, and him not wanting what negative attention he garnered along the way to affect Leon directly. The audience can be quite the chatterboxes; all it takes is one small piece of gossip for everything to go out of control. Its name, ألضجة, means "The Noise".)
(They also symbolize how everyone else already act around him all thanks to his brother's legacy- looking down on him for every little mistake he makes, while each victory earns him another comparison to Leon. He doesn't want to disappoint them- not the crowds, not his friends, not his family, and not himself, so he carries on with his useless endeavor; constantly chasing after a dream that is so far from his reach. The fact that this familiar is prone to forgetting who they are serving exactly is indicative of Hop forgetting himself.)
-Inspirations-
In-canon:
Sacrificing aspects of himself just to come close to that aforementioned ideal; going as far as to remove his lifelong friend, Wooloo, from his team
Trophies and other memorabilia of his brother being found in their home- almost no mementos of Hop being found there
Corviknight, one of the 'mons he gigantamaxes upon the release of the DLCs (the other is his starter pokemon, which I will assume is Scorbunny)
The fact that he is evidently Arab/Muslim-coded, especially in the French translation of the games where his name is Nabil (fun fact, Raihan is also an already-Arab name)
The third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings
Dubwool being able to learn a fuck ton of self-destructive moves
The statue of the Hero of Galar in Wyndon (Motostoke in the anime)
Outside Influences:
The Sealed Vessel from Hollow Knight and their theme; actually, wanna bet that he is trapped in a similar manner as they were if we were to assume that his power is equal to Isabeau's? That he has been gathering power from the mass hysteria resulting from his influence over the stadiums?
How sheep, lambs, and goats are associated with sacrifice, slaughter, deceit, and rituals (to tie the aforementioned wooloo/dubwool and self-abandonment points mentioned earlier)
The golden calf
The fact that some gladiators were prisoners and had to fight and put on a spectacle in order to regain their freedom
nana825763's "My house walk-through"
That one segment from Valle Verde part 2 which starts at around the 3:58 mark
The Devil Within by Digital Daggers (not my dumb ass imagining an animatic in which Bede is this warlock's first victim)
Cause of my Death by Itoki Hana
Dolus Vel Pedica, Area Strigae, and Delusio Summa from the Madoka Magica PSP game
The concept of living armor, but with added body horror
-Closing Statements-
Phew! Well, thank GOD this didn't take as much time as Medic's warlock did! (unless if we count my sick days- then yeah, it took just as much) To say that this was a WILD ride would be the understatement of the century!
I wanted to nail the vibe the witches had before we, as the audience, learned the truth about their origins - that he must have been born out of competition and the impostor syndrome that comes with such high-stakes contests -, and the idea that he, Sayf, was vengeful not just towards the leagues and the people who had beaten Hop while he was down, but also towards himself. I am unsure of whether or not I've completely succeeded on that front, but, if you guys have better ideas and/or criticisms, please do let me know! I aim to improve my writing in general and my abilities to break down character motivations and symbolize their actions in more abstract manners.
Being Bede is suffering; his ass is getting haunted on one hand, and Leon is able to smell his fear from a mile away on the other. He's not fucking winning this, lads :'3
...With all that being said, there is one shred of information that I've been withholding until now- the final piece of the puzzle that, once we step back, paints a rather grim image of what would occur if we were to combine the worlds of Pokemon SWSH and PMMM...
Outside the league challenge, the story of SWSH tackles the eldritch origins of Dynamax/Gigantamax; that the very vessels that allowed the people of Galar to utilize it must come from the remains of the invading Pokemon, Eternatus. Its initial awakening from its 17,000 year slumber heralded the event known as the Darkest Day; in which it had absorbed so much of Galar's energy that it caused its form to change and a dark storm to envelope the region, causing the pokemon to dynamax/gigantamax and go berserk. With the emergence of said storm come what is now known as "Galar Particles"; other sources of energy that, after the defeat of this threat, were utilized by humans for generations to come; rebuilding Galar from the ground up to the region we know today.
Now, a theme that both medias apparently share here from this fact alone is "energy". In a sense, you could say that Eternatus itself acts very much like a living grief seed; absorbing "impurities" in order for its true form to "hatch" and release boundless amounts of concentrated energy that can be used in a useful manner later down the line.
So....what gives? Why is Eternatus such a key element to this concept if the focus of this post is Hop? What does that creature beyond out comprehension have to do with the one we currently have in our hands right now?
See, not only does Hop's karmic potential stem from his destiny to stop the second Darkest Day alongside the main character, but his brother was also tasked by Chairman Rose with capturing the beast and delivering it to him; this was planned out in order to solve Galar's energy crisis that was going to unfold in the next several years or so, and, though it was a hard decision, the Chairman believed that now was a better time than never. The future of Galar, in his eyes, relied on him...
Obviously, Rose's entire plan fell flat on its face, so it was up to us, our bestie, and a very gud boi an' gorl (Pokedex entries confirm Zacian is Zamazenta's older sister) to save an entire region's ass from a wicked, unfathomable threat once more, but what if things went a little differently in this timeline? Obviously, one of the heroes who was supposed to assist/had assisted Gloria fell into despair and became the next world-ending threat she's going to have to put down, but what if this wasn't the only deviation from the norm here?
After all, Rose wasn't the only one who had sought out the means to prevent and remedy a sort of entropy issue at any cost necessary...
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bafvkun · 8 months
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Now that I finished MDZS I wanna talk about a scene real quick that I think a lot might kinda forget because of its placement in the story.
Im referring to when Lan Zhan inflicted on himself a brand on the chest with the Wen Clan’s iron branding. The brand is mentioned for the first time at the very beginning of the story in the first volume when they came back to Gusu from mount Dafan.
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But it’s only explained in the last volume and actually last chapter of the series (not including the extras). What I meant while evoking the « placement » is that the explanation happens during a smut scene. While I have nothing against smut and enjoyed this one thoroughly I think it kind of diminishes the impact of what Lan Zhan actually did to his own body.
Giving such an important lore bit during a hot scene makes it that the reader isn’t in the right state of mind to actually really comprehend so let’s put all this back into context.
At that moment of his life Lan Zhan suffered heavy injuries due to the 33 disciple whips he received on his back, he was also greatly shaken by all that was happening regarding Wei Ying. While he was recovering his worse fear actually happened, Wei Ying’s powers backfired on him and did end up killing him. He must have felt the greatest dread he’s ever faced and a regret he would never quite forget, the regret of letting Wei Ying alone in order to get his punishment instead of protecting him and staying with him till the end, no matter if he died or not.
This all resulted into Lan Zhan dragging his heavily injured body to Burial Mounds in search of his body, only to find nothing, not a single trace of the one he loved so dearly he sacrificed so much for already. All he found was a kid that he brought back with him.
But then, the branding iron. Lan Zhan, and I really insist on LAN ZHAN out of all men, drank his sorrow away. It’s totally against his Clan’s rules that he respects more than anyone, he even fought against Wei Ying because of this same very rule but he took the bottle seemingly without much hesitation.
We all know by that time of the story that Lan Zhan under the influence of alcohol is a hell of a ride, he does anything and everything that goes through his mind, no matter the consequences. What was on his mind ? Finding Wei Ying’s flute, so he went searching where the Lan Clan hides their treasures, he of course unfortunately did not find it, it being in Jiang Cheng’s possession.
But it just happened that Lan Zhan, with his judgment clouded by alcohol, spotted the branding iron of the Wen Clan, the same very one that branded Wei Ying’s torso a few years prior. He took it and used it on himself. Does anyone realize just how horrible that is ?
He took a BRANDING IRON from a clan that repressed everyone and thought themselves gods and MUTILATED his body even further, just in the hopes to get a bit closer to Wei Ying by any given mean. Just imagine the pain that must have taken onto him, but he did it and didn’t even seem to regret afterwards.
His body was pure as jade, smooth as glass and yet, on two occasions he did not take any consequences in consideration and did things that would mark his beautiful and precious body forever, not even knowing if Wei Ying would ever come back.
If he couldn’t have Wei Ying’s body he would mark his own flesh with the same injury that one decorated his own. This scene is actually fucking insane, I feel like I need to repeat over and over cause damn ! Lan Zhan DRANK before MUTILATING himself with a branding iron from a clan that didn’t respect him nor his own clan just to feel something, just to prove his love further cause it had nowhere to go, because his suffering was stuck in his heart.
I can’t imagine how many times he looked at his reflection, looking at the brand mark on his chest. It makes me feel absolutely dreadful.
So as I said earlier smut is really cool but this scene, I personally think, could have been put in a context that actually showed how grave what Lan Zhan did was.
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mrmuftin · 6 months
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You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole.
The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.
When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality.
After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society.
No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.
Your birth made it so that mankind is worse off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover any state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.
I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell.
You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair.
You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.
Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are.
Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe.
In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.
You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet even that would only represent a small part of your evil. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an abomination, but here you are.
It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you.
Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors would have too many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it.
I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did.
The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant.
Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring.
You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the Black Death and the Smallpox pandemic only happened with the goal of preparing humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created.
If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched.
You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.
The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe.
I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating, working as hard and efficiently as possible, there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world.
When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.
My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that, when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless.
Huh?
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fruitsofhell · 1 year
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I'm actually lowkey embarrassed that dissidia post got the attention that it did cause it's easily like, the lowest intellectual effort post I've ever made dbjdjf, so here's the follow up unhinged rant going over what I love about Kuja in Dissidia Duodecim.
Like I was saying, his writing in Duodecim is AMAZING, like everytime I think about it it blows my socks off. It would be so easy if just the whole game he was the Kuja he was during the plot of FF9, shallow, flamboyant, and callous, but they decided to pick up with his arc from the ending! Which is what I like to see in a spinoff like this, not just a rehash of old stuff but a continuation, a reiteration. And doing that also shows great grasp of what his character's about. Dissidia pulls from every mainline Final Fantasy game and isn't shy of the fact that not every game has the most complex villain. I often see Kuja too considered to be just a fun purely evil villain instead of someone with more meat on his narrative bones, which is insulting to me. Kuja isn't motivated by some deep darkness in his soul or a craving for violence and suffering like some other villains, all his actions were motivated by one thing, which was wanting to prove to his creator that he could create his own purpose and worth. It just happens that because he's insane, his methods to this is mass-murder and regicide. He loved life, and Gaian culture, and having a purpose, which is why he has those two massive changes of heart by the end, and is left feeling empty. The life he loved is ending, he scarred the planet that he loved, and the entire narrative he built for himself was null, its just over for him.
And that's where Dissidia picks up, because it understands that Kuja is not a being of darkness nor much of a sadist, he's just a guy who loved theatrics but had that beaten out of him by existential dread and now doesn't want to live anymore. And the only thing that would've given him any reason to live after his defeat, his brother - who was with him till the end and likely the only person from his world who doesn't want to kill him anymore - HAD HIS FUCKING MEMORIES ERASED. So what does Kuja do? He follows Zidane around and tries to help him, because like, literally he's just that grateful to him. Like??? That part's really important to me, cause it would be really easy to assume Kuja was bitter during his defeat, given his actions and apparent shallowness. But this game is SMARTER than that, and it understands that Kuja wasn't angry anymore, he was just empty and still deeply nihilistic. But actually given an opportunity to try again, he sticks to Zidane. Despite there no longer being an external incentive, AND ACTUALLY DESPITE FORCES WORKING AGAINST HIM. Like Kuja was placed on the Chaos side, surrounded by a sea of fellow villains who could produce all the bravado and destruction he used to enjoy, but he was so genuinely disillusioned with that afterwards, he goes out of his way to do right. Despite threat of annihilation by his peers and heroes he was trying to help! LIKE THE GAME GETS THAT HE ISNT JUST EVIL????? IT GETS THAT HE ISN'T JUST A SHALLOW SADIST????? It's fucking heaven-sent.
OH MAN AND THEN HIS INTERACTIONS BEYOND JUST ZIDANE! That interaction he has with Cloud is one of my favorite things ever, it's just fucking rich with characterization for him. And then you have him freeing Terra from her spell because, can you believe it guys, he felt honest to god sympathy and compassion!! Insanity!! And then that leads to his relationship with Kefka which is immaculate! Everything about their relationship helps reiterate Kuja's helplessness as a character and villain, and just makes me fucking DESPISE Kefka. But in the fun intentional way. He's such an abusive, manipulative asshole to him, and it stings like hell to see Kuja once again end up as someone else's pawn BECAUSE HE WAS WILLING TO SPARE ANOTHER FROM THAT FATE. Like it's horrible for him, but it deepens his redemption.
Ok, and last thing is his VOICE!!!!! JD CULLUM!!! JD Cullum, I owe you my life, your Kuja is so delightful! It's just perfect. It has this androgynous softness to it, he switches between the theatrical and honest lines perfectly, and he sounds annoying!! That part is so important to me, if Kuja had a generic sexy villain man voice I'd be so disappointed, but like have you heard him in NT? I don't know why he sounds so happy in that game (I think Zidane has his memories in that one...) but you can hear his stupid little smile behind some of those passive-aggressive one-liners, it's the best! I have Dissidia Duodecim emulated on my PC just for Kuja's lines.
Final Fantasy 9 is criminally underloved by Square, and Kuja as beloved as he is is so often misunderstood and mischaracterized by fans. Dissidia being the only other piece of official media he has a role in and getting it THIS RIGHT brings a tear to my eye. The game in general is just really above average for a silly crossover fighting game, I can't speak for the writing of every character, but I know my Sephiroth friend has moments from that game that give them psychic damage (/positive). And for me, the Kuja Guy, it gives me plenty as well. But also some negative psychic damage cause why tf does he look like that.
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superbfirnacho · 3 months
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To the anon that told our beautiful Super to kys...
Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you.
Jesus Christ Wonkus….. this is amazing. And made me feel a lot better/ gen
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mara-xx217 · 2 years
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Can't Get Enough- Resident Evil 2 Licker Commission
I got a spicy commission that involved the Licker enemy from RE 2. I cannot believe I haven't wrote anything for them yet lol
With a name like that, what were you expecting?
Warnings: Noncon, Monster, Monster Fucking, That Tongue Tho, Monster Biology, Breeding
    No no no no-! NO!  
    You tripped over your own feet as you desperately tried to stop your momentum forwards. It wasn’t one of the- the zombies or whatever the hell they were chasing you! You slipped and landed ass first into a puddle, the cold reeking water doing nothing to break you from your panicked daze as you nearly ran face first into a dead end.
    End of the road…  
    It has chased you for blocks. In and out of buildings, through an entire horde of rotting and stumbling bodies, and now, it has you pinned in an inescapable situation. Stupid, fucking idiot!! You’ve signed your death certificate running into this dead-end alleyway. You back up against the slimy brick wall that blocks your escape. No, you can’t look. You can’t-! You screw your eyes shut, praying that your death comes swiftly and that you won’t suffer a long demise from mauling. 
    Praying… A lot of nothing that does for you. You accidently opened one of your eyes instinctually as you heard a splash of something padding towards you. Fleshy footfalls punctuated with a nauseating tap tap tap of hardened claws on the paved ground. 
    Raw muscles glistened in the damp night light. It was raining, yes, but you don’t think it was purely rainwater that was making it shine. An exposed brain? If you weren’t in shock, you would have gagged. Kick it. Punch it. Do… something, damn it!  
You are frozen in fear as the Licker’s tongue flicks over the air above your body. You have curled into a seated fetal position, cringing as it snapped above your head. Something caught its attention, you think. The tongue quickly retracts and it screeches as it lunges for you. 
    Now’s your chance! You didn’t realize you had kicked it until it flew over your head and face-first into the wall behind you. You don’t wait before you dodge its falling body and scramble to your feet. No, you weren’t fast enough! It immediately recovers, launching off the wall and tackling you from behind. Your scream is cut short as you stumble and slam the side of your head into a nearby wall. 
    That’s it, then… One massive clawed-hand pins you in place. The blood simultaneously rushes to your head and drains from your face. Your head throbs, you feel faint. The only thing keep you upright is this monster pressing you face-first into the wall. In the midst of your panic, you missed something. Sniffing. You heard it but you were too in shock to process where on your body was being smelled. Was it doing it at all? Your breaths catch in your lungs and you feel warm tears mix in with the bitter cold of the rain that hasn’t let up in nearly a week. 
    For a moment, you couldn’t hear anything. Your heartbeat, the rain falling, the monster’s snarling or heavy breathing. Did you… die? You didn’t know what happened when a person dies. Is it something then nothing? Is it one long, terrible moment that never ends? What if it really doesn’t end? Ever? The dread you felt was worse than the moment the Licker first lunged at you. Only a feeling of something pressing hard against your ass did you snap out of your head and back to the reality that would soon become worse than your tortured imagination could ever conjure up. 
    The Licker had its face buried so deeply in between your legs it nearly lifted you off the ground. Its hot breath seeped into your crotch and, try as you might, you simply couldn’t kick it away. It didn’t even seem to notice or care that blow after blow landed on its shoulders and chest. Teeth tore into the seat of your pants. You tried to squirm away, screaming and helplessly clawing at the hand that pinned you in place. To your horror, not only was your pants torn wide open but your underwear was as well. 
    The creature’s monstrous tongue arches and slides between the folds of your sex. You involuntarily snap your thighs shut around the monster’s head, a cry of revulsion slipping past your gritted teeth. A rough texture, not unlike that of a cat’s tongue, made every small wriggling movement that elongated appendage made pure agony. You were sure you were bleeding- FUCK!
It hurts!  
    Underneath the curve of the Licker’s claws was far smoother and blunter than they had any right to be. They should be razor sharp talons, like that of a bird of prey, not something blunt enough to barely even threaten to break the skin without bringing blood. The beast’s claws may not pose significant danger at the moment, but the weight it placed against your head was smothering. A sudden scream is strangled in your throat as a painful pressure suddenly tears between your legs. 
    The Licker shoved several inches of its tongue inside of you. 
    You lost your footing in your panic to create any amount of distance between you and the pain. Your feet slip, leaving you scrambling and sobbing uncontrollably as your body is left at an awkward and embarrassing angle. With your head shoved low your hips stuck out uncomfortably far, only your hands placed an arm length above your head provided you any amount of relief from the tension placed on your body. Like this, you were totally helpless and unable to stop the mutated creature from having its way with you. 
    In this position-! The muscles in your core tighten with each flick of its tongue. It was unnatural how it moved inside of you. It pushed against the walls of your abdomen. Rolling and writhing, it curls onto itself, seemingly knotting inside of you as it presses against the deepest part of you. Oh fuck…  
    A whine burns the back of your throat. You didn’t realize it at first from the sheer shock and terror that you initially felt. Now you know a part of you started to like what was happening to you. You clench around the appendage, bucking and squirming as it hits that spot inside of you juust right to make you shudder and moan as you shiver in the midst of your climax.
    Climax? You- Did… you really just cum?!  
    The Licker squeals in delight. It retracts its tongue quickly enough to make you scream in pain. The small burrs on its tongue felt like they ripped you to shreds! Sticky fluids follow the appendage’s retreat, soaking your legs and splattering onto your shoes and the ground underneath you. You nearly thought it was over… until you were dragged face first down the wall and you were slammed onto the ground.
   Somehow, the ground remained so cold… Cold enough to shock the air from your lungs. You wanted- You needed to get up! Clawed hands grasping at your barely clothed hips stops you as you rise to your elbows. Your eyes snap wide and your heart skips a beat as it spreads you open so it can… -what?- inspect you?! 
You felt violated, hollow as your muscles clenched at nothing. You attempt to crawl away from the claw tips that began to press into your sore entrance but only managed to fall flat on your chest into the puddle that had already formed beneath you. Your chest heaved and you began to hyperventilate. The cold, the position, the water and the fucking monster behind you made it impossible to breathe. Fuck- 
You can’t breathe-!  
It was testing how you felt. Soft, warm, perfect. It liked the noises you made. You excited it so much without realizing it. You squealed every time it spread you open, clenched around its digit when it would plunge the tip inside your wet hole. It was smooth, dull enough to not be painful but it still terrified you and caused you to tense and jerk away from it. One of the Licker’s paws grabbed you by the torso, sliding underneath your hoodie and your shirt as its blunted claws dug into and between your ribs. It crushed you, pulling you back and onto the nail that was already partially inside of you. 
You can only cry out for help. It’s in vain, you know it’s pointless, but you scream for help regardless. You were squirming and kicking, hanging your head as you screamed out as loud as you could. You barely felt the void of the creature removing its claw from your clenching hole. It was happening too fast. Something hot and slippery rubbed between your folds. Instead of screaming louder or fighting harder, you shuddered and moved your hips against the feeling.
Shit- Why does it have to feel good? You started to lean away from it. It’s too big… Your throat burned from screaming at the top of your lungs. A metallic taste hit the back of your tongue and you swallowed some rainwater in some attempt to soothe your burning chest. That damn tongue slithered past your cheek, licking all over your face. You know it’s a dick rubbing against your clit. You wanted to pretend it was anything else but you couldn’t deny it any longer. You shove some of your hoodie in your mouth and bite down as the Licker shoved itself inside of you. 
Well… it tried to, anyway. 
You were too tight. It didn’t stop, though. You sob and screw your eyes shut as an overwhelming burning sensation threatens to split you in half. Once it managed to get the head of its cock inside of you, more of it followed. Try as you might, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. You screamed as something inside of you popped, then gagged and choked as a thick tongue was shoved down your throat. 
Underneath the unbearable pain that you felt, something began to feel warm. You couldn’t pinpoint when it started, but once you stopped fighting against him, he removed enough of his tongue to let you breathe. You fought against his tongue, realizing it didn’t feel or taste nearly as bad as you thought it initially did. 
There was no discernable pace. Every sharp thrust landed with enough force that you felt the tip of his cock hit your diaphragm. His other hand grasped the other side of your torso, giving him the perfect leverage to fuck you harder and deeper than you’ve ever been fucked before. You groaned and grunted every time he slammed into you. Subtly, your hips began to move against his. If you help… maybe it will be over faster… 
That’s what you told yourself. You’re merely ‘getting it over with’ . Even when you’ve cummed for the fourth time, you throw your hips back, moaning as the Licker’s tongue slithered down your shirt and began to map the heaving flat expanse of your chest. 
“F-Fuck…”
“Y-Yes…”
“There…”
“M-More…”  
It felt good when he cummed inside of you. It was hot and it simply wouldn’t stop. Neither did he. He kept fucking you, even as he cummed and even after he had stopped, the Licker’s pace only seemed to grow more animalistic and feral. 
He gripped your hips and pulled you as flush against his hips as you could physically manage. You wanted to get away. Just a little… There was too fucking much inside of you. You fall limp and babble a plea for mercy as he starts to breed you all over again. 
You are prone on your stomach, screaming and wildly kicking your feet as more cum is dumped inside of you. It wasn’t enough. You needed MORE! It felt so good to be a monster’s fuck toy! It was enough to make you cry… You hope it will never end. 
A twisted smile was plastered on your face. Your mouth hangs open as you pant, welcoming a familiar tongue to plunge itself into your mouth and down your throat. You bucked and wiggled your hips, squeezing his cock and silently praying that he would fuck you harder!
 One won’t be enough for you! You just know it! T-There needs to be more…! You need to fuck more before you go fucking insane-!
@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 2 years
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Karkat: FUCK YOU. YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU ABSOLUTE WASTE OF SPACE AND AIR. YOU UNEDUCATED, IGNORANT, IDIOTIC DUMB SWINE, YOU’RE AN ABSOLUTE EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY AND ALL LIFE AS A WHOLE. THE MAGNITUDE OF YOUR FAILURE JUST NOW IS SO INDESCRIBABLY MASSIVE THAT ONE HUNDRED YEARS INTO THE FUTURE YOUR NAME WILL BE USED AS MONIKER OF EVIL FOR HERETICS. EVEN IF ALL OF HUMANITY PUT TOGETHER THEIR COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE THERE IS NO CONCEIVABLE WAY THEY COULD HAVE THOUGHT UP A WAY TO FUCK UP ON THE UNIMAGINABLE SCALE YOU JUST DID. WHEN JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS, HE MUST NOT HAVE SEEN THE SACRILEGIOUS ACT WE JUST WITNESSED YOU PERFORMING, BECAUSE IF HE DID HE WOULD HAVE FORSAKEN HUMANITY LONG AGO SO THAT YOUR BIRTH MAY HAVE NEVER BECOME REALITY. AFTER YOU DIE, YOUR SKELETON WILL BE DISPLAYED IN A MUSEUM AFTER BEING SCIENTIFICALLY RESEARCHED SO THAT ALL FUTURE GENERATIONS MAY LEARN NOT TO GENERATE YOUR BONE STRUCTURE, BECAUSE EVERY TINY DETAIL ANYONE MAY HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOU DEGRADES THEM TO A USELESS PIECE OF TRASH AND A BURDEN TO SOCIETY. NO WONDER YOUR FATHER QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT YOU WERE TRULY HIS SON, FOR YOU'D HAVE TO NOT BE A WASTE OF CARBON MATTER FOR ANYONE TO LOVE YOU LIKE A FAMILY MEMBER. YOUR BIRTH MADE IT SO THAT MANKIND IS WORSE OF IN EVERY WAY YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE, AND YOU HAVE MADE IT SO THAT SOCIETY CAN NEVER REALLY RECOVER INTO A STATE OF THE ORGANIZATION. EVERYTHING HAS FOREVER FALLEN INTO BEWILDERING CHAOS, THROUGH WHICH UNRECOGNIZABLE CORE, YOU CAN ONLY FIND MISFORTUNE. I WOULD SAY THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US BUT THIS IS MERELY THE CLOSEST WORD HUMANS HAVE FOR THE SHEER SCALE OF HORROR THAT IS NOW A REALITY. YOU HAVE FOREVER CONDEMNED EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND KNOW INTO AN ETERNAL STATE OF SUFFERING, WORSE THAN ANY HUMAN CONCEPT OF HELL. YOU ARE SUCH AN UNHOLY BEING, THAT IF YOU STEP WITHIN A ONE HUNDRED FOOT RADIUS OF A HOLY PLACE OR A PLACE THAT HAS EVER BEEN DEEMED IMPORTANT BY ANYONE, YOUR DISTORTED SAC RELIGIOUS SOUL WILL RUIN WHATEVER MEANING IT EVER HAD BEYOND REPAIR. YOU ARE AN IDIOTIC, SHIT-EATING, DUMBASS APE AND NO ONE HAS EVER LOVED YOU. RHODES ISLAND WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF IF YOU'D NEVER JOINED US. YOU ARE A LYING, BACKSTABBING, COWARDLY USELESS PIECE OF SHIT AND I HATE YOU WITH EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY BEING. EVEN THIS WORLD'S FINEST WRITERS AND POETS FROM THROUGHOUT THE AGES COULD NEVER HOPE TO ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE SCALE ON WHICH YOU JUST FUCKED UP, AND HOW INCREDIBLY IDIOTIC YOU ARE. ANYONE THAT BELIEVES IN ANY RELIGION OUT THERE SHOULD NOW REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN WRONG THIS ENTIRE TIME, FOR IF DIVINE BEINGS WERE REAL, THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED A BEING SUCH AS YOU TO STAIN THE EARTH AND THIS UNIVERSE. IN THE FUTURE, THERE WILL BE HORROR STORIES MADE ABOUT YOU, WITH THE SCARIEST PART OF THEM BEING THAT THE READER HAS TO REALIZE THAT SUCH AN INDESCRIBABLE MONSTER ACTUALLY EXISTS AND THAT THE HORRIFIC EVENTS FROM THE MOVIE HAVE ACTUALLY TAKEN PLACE IN THE SAME WORLD THAT THEY LIVE IN RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE EMBODIMENT OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER BEEN WRONG ON THIS EARTH, YET YOU MANAGE TO MAKE IT SO THAT THAT IS ONLY A SMALL PART OF THE EVIL THAT IS YOUR BEING. NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS THERE BEEN ANYONE THAT COULD HAVE PREDICTED SUCH AN ELDRITCH ABOMINATION, BUT HERE YOU ARE. IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT I AM SEEING SUCH AN INCREDIBLE FAILURE WITH MY OWN EYES, BUT HERE I AM, SO UNFORTUNATELY I CANNOT DENY YOUR EXISTENCE. EVEN IF I DID MY VERY BEST, MY VOCABULARY IS NOT ABLE TO DESCRIBE THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF THE IDIOTIC MISTAKE THAT IS YOU. EVEN IF TIME TRAVEL SOMEDAY WILL BE INVENTED, THERE STILL WOULD NOT BE A SINGLE SOUL WILLING TO GO BACK IN TIME TO BEFORE THIS MOMENT TO FIX HISTORY, BECAUSE HAVING TO WITNESS SUCH INCREDIBLE HORRORS IF THEY FAILED WOULD HAVE TOO MANY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL DRAWBACKS THAT NOT EVEN THE BRAVEST SOUL IN HISTORY WOULD BE WILLING TO RISK IT. I CANNOT IMAGINE THE PURE DREAD YOUR MOTHER MUST HAVE FELT WHEN SHE HAD TO CARRY A BABY FOR NINE MONTHS AND THEN GIVING BIRTH TO SUCH A WRETCHED MONSTER AS YOU
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phoenix-reburned · 1 year
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I think the most damning thing to my faith and what really started my deconstruction was the concept of a loving god and hell.
It's stated that we are made in the image of god, meaning that god SHOULD have similar morals as me, obviously with some differences because sin nature and he's y'know GOD. I am an extremely empathetic person. So empathetic, that I spent quarantine in a near-constant state of panic, dread, depression, and pure terror for every person I saw on TV, at school, hell even at church. The idea of anyone ever being damned to hell literally caused me to become physically sick. I was unable to function for a month and a half straight. I had renewed my faith and interest in church because I was scared of hell, and it led to this horrible state of terror I was trapped in.
If I, a mere human with a fraction of god's love and empathy, could be driven to this sort of state over just the idea of hell, how could god be okay at all with anyone going there? How could he pick and choose what creation of his would be saved? Some people would say that it was necessary, that it was the wages of sin, that we deserved it. But if god made the rules, why would he make them in such a cruel way? Why would he actively enforce a system, that he created, that meant a majority of his creation would be tortured for eternity? He could have never left the tree in the garden, or simply gotten rid of sin.
And some people would say that we send ourselves to hell. If I was a parent and my kid wanted to touch a hot stove, my first response would be to take them away and turn off the stove so they didn't get hurt. Even if they got upset at me for it, even if they disrespected me for it. The safety and well-being of my child would matter more than any petty actions they did in anger. Plus, punishment should ALWAYS be corrective. If hell functioned like purgatory did I wouldn't have an issue. But it doesn't. It's only function is to hurt. What kind of petty dick do you have to be to torture someone because they either didn't know you existed or made a wrong choice? When my siblings didn't listen to me and got hurt my first response was to help them, not hurt them. And those aren't even my kids.
"But freewill-" He's GOD. He can create a world with freewill without hell or sin. He's fucking GOD and this is what he decided was the best plan. He could have just chosen to forgive everyone but he didn't. He sacrificed himself to save us from his own wrath. The shit god says in the bible aligns with the same phrases narcissists use to manipulate their victims. And don't even get me started on the copious amounts of murder he either directly causes or endorses, or the horrible things he legalized in the old testament.
And you can't just use the "sin goes against gods nature" bullshit on me either. He's literally god. He shouldn't be confined by anything if he's truly all powerful. I understand if sin is a problem but he also allowed it to happen in the first place, does nothing to stop it, and literally let the equivalent of a 5 year old decide whether or not his creation would be tortured for eternity. If sin is against his nature he could simply will it out of existence, but he either chooses not to or can't. Either of these would actively contradict two of the qualities he claims to possess.
And no, his response to someone wanting to be away from him should not be eternal torment. Even if you try and justify it by saying he's respecting our wishes, he can do that without deliberately causing actual suffering and agony for eternity.
I did the religious thing for 18 years, and this was just the first realization that woke me up to the flaws of Chr*st*an*ty. Any chr*st*ans that wanna try and preach to me or use this to try and refute my claims, just don't. I've heard every excuse in the book (literally) and did months and MONTHS of research on topics like this to try and convince myself that god was real. I desperately wanted to believe because I didn't want to leave the faith. But the more I researched this and other topics the more I realized how false so much of the religion is.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense or I'm missing stuff, it's late at night and I just needed to get this outta my head. Feel free to add your own thoughts about it here. I know others have definitely explained this much better than I have but I've spent a lot of time this week looking at exvangelical stuff and I'm in my feels about it lol
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cosmothealien358 · 1 year
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Then the impact hit. It jarred Cole worse than any earthquake he’d ever produced. He let loose a soundless scream, a massive outlet of air that shook him to his core. Every molecule of his body was erupting into pain, a sheer agony he could never have even conjured up in his darkest nightmares. There couldn’t possibly be a single bone left unbroken. Cole heaved out a weighed breath, exhaling a cloud of dust which was soon followed by a hacking cough that pinched his sides and rattled his ribs. 
Cole only felt pain, and nothing else. Laying there on an alien surface entirely detached from his body, staring at a sky of black, he knew he was a dead man. There was no other explanation nor remedy for his pain. But still, somehow, some impossible way… he was alive. He was in agony, yes, but he certainly knew what being dead was, and this wasn’t it.
The black ninja gingerly sat up, clutching his broken ribs with a fractured wrist. Pains immediately stabbed and shot into every inch of his body with the movement. Almost as if it sensed human despair, Cole sensed another black tendril slithering towards him. He felt his innards begin to succumb to the cold allure once again, vying to accept numbing stone over endless torture. But the small part of him- the warrior inside- simply refused to quit. Not knowing what else to do, he thought back to the warm feeling he felt while falling. Cole anchored himself in the memories of his loved ones, and once again, warmth bloomed from his chest and spread throughout his body, energizing him with a feeling that reminded him of the moment he returned to a man after living years as a cursed spirit. From seemingly nowhere, Cole managed to summon enough strength to stand upright. If he wasn’t in a garish wasteland, he would have sobbed with joy. His bones miraculously held up!
It was not a time to celebrate, though. Survival hasn't yet been achieved. He swiveled around in a slow circle to analyze his surroundings. He appeared to be standing on an upper level of the Ninjago News Tower. The streets below were unrecognizable. Whatever Cole could see (and there was hardly anything to BE seen with the darkness clouding his vision) would make any ordinary civilian fall to his knees and declare the world over.
He witnessed empty buildings shrouded in blackness, cars that had been hastily parked or completely crashed off road, and, most disturbingly, the stone bodies of ninjago's population. Children, the elderly, young couples, mothers- no one was left untouched by the plague of the Oni. All were left behind as horrifying statues with limbs frozen in grotesque positions and face painted with pure horror.  
Cole, however, did not faint nor lose control at the sight of such mass terror. After all, he never was an ordinary citizen. 
He was a ninja.
He had seen enough suffering to last several lifetimes. Destruction, death, violence, panic. It was all too familiar to him, and yet somehow, nothing ever could prepare him for each depressing situation. Imprisonment by Chen. Running out of the haunted house of a madman only to find yourself dead. Watching your city be torn apart by a man you once respected. Time after time, wreckage after wreckage. Disaster was simply part of his job. 
But this was different. Cole was alone, in the dark, with no backup and no hope of escaping. Hell, he shouldn’t even be alive. Why hadn’t the darkness taken him like the stone civilians surrounding him? 
Cole shook his head. He couldn’t spare another thought that didn’t lead to his survival. Besides, despite the dread sinking in and his situation objectively fucked, he was alive. That stood for something. He had enough strength to get back to his friends, and with that, Cole knew he could make it. 
Only a minute of descending to lower levels of the tower led him to inevitable danger. The dark hairs on the back of his neck stood up straight as a chill swept over the air. Cole didn’t need to turn around to know that a misty tendril was curling towards his alive self. Not only that, but faint footsteps began to grow louder by the second from below. Cole could see his words coming out in clouds of fog as he spoke quietly to himself.
“Well, shit.”
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mikhardwheat · 2 years
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Dread Doctors and Parenting: Opinions. Theo Reaken Character Analysis and (trigger warning) Scott Slander.
Dread Doctors ruined Theo's life, because he was easy to manipulate and was tend to be violent, making him value his self-worth based on their approval, screwing his brain over with untreatable damage, just to throw him out as soon as he got useless.
They haven't teached him basic human skills and raised a murderer, thinking it'll be easier for evil to grow inside of him instead of it taking over at once over a kind soul, which is messed up by itself, but…
Theo really believed that being evil was the one single thing he was capable of. He believed he was destined to gather an impossible power and then Doctors said it wasn't even an option? He couldn't do the only thing he was supposed to? Jeez, his head was a fucking mess.
And then the pack sends him to hell? To relive his biggest nightmare over and over? To the point where he thinks everything what's happening is purely his fault and he lets Tara tear him apart, because "you don't have to stop"?? Because now he's not only blaming himself for her death, he thinks he deserves the suffering and that's a price he's willing to pay???
Scott McCall is getting the dirtiest side-eye from me right now.
He convinced Deucalion to manipulate Theo into killing his own pack. The kid was mentally unstable and haven't got any real friends since he was 9, 10 years of brainwashing made him foget how valuable life actually was and he was going against the Doctors' orders for the first time in who-knows-how-long-its-been-since-his-last-rebelion. It was also around the time Doctors decided to ignore him completely? Let him do his little dumb thing, knowing it won't work out as he wants it to? Neglected child getting neglected even more and feeling emotionally vulnerable?
And Scott thought making him kill his first attempt at friendship was a good plan? This mf has a "no killing rule", but he allows others to do the dirty job and then it's fine. If they killed before, then there's nothing wrong with them killing again, especially if it benefits him, am I right?
To be fair, it's not completely Scott's fault, just poor writing doing him wrong for the umpteenth time. Both deserved better, both deserved to get back the friendship they once had.
Just a friendly reminder that TW's canon sucks.
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Prompt, PTSD War veteran.
The soldier was home. It didnt feel like home, it was hollow and the cross on the wall symbolizing his faith just insulted him.
When he was a boy he was a good Christian boy, he loved his army toys and was always preached to about heaven and hell.
When he first started fighting in the army he was preached at about how the other side was enemies and evil and heartless...
He could almost stomach it until he saw the people he was really hurting. Seeing a small child hiding in their mothers arms.
It was then he really realized what all this fighting was for, it was purely to just fuck over innocence and make the old fucks in charge feel powerful.
He had a wife. Had..
She left him, assumed dead he was. She just left, and now shes married to his friend the coward who dodged drafting. Bastard.
The veteran was at the lowest he'd ever been, and he decided to go out for a drink.
On the way he found a beautiful theater. It was quiet inside and warm, unlike the bitter winter air, he entered if only to peek. Inside he saw to worn insides, it reminded him of himself, a little broken and creaky. Upon further searching he saw a beautiful man, dark velveteen face and bright dreads, and those eyes drawing him in.
The soldier had always felt conflicted with certain men, his religious teaching shame those thoughts. Here he was though, admiring this angelic being that was just looking into his soul.
Balan approaches him with a gentle demeanor, he knew this was a special case, he couldnt be loud or pop fireworks and he didnt let the Tim's out unless they were small and quiet.
The man swallowed hard taking in the smell of the mysterious stranger who began to hold him, this contact felt sweet and overwhelming but he clung to the pretty man.
Balan softly cooed to the man to ease him into releasing the held in tears. These tears were loaded with agony and youthful tears from childhood, tears that his father shamed him for. All these emotions boiled and finally poured out remembering the war, the children, the innocent people and what he lost.
The soldier just sobbed and screamed just letting out all the anguish until he felt empty again. The sweet balan stroked his hair and back watching the suffering man just pour his feelings out. Balan even snuck in a forehead kiss as if he was holding a small creature.
This type of sadness wasnt gonna be fixed, but it helped to have a safe place to cry and release that pain. Balan was his floaty he clung to right now, that old ring of rubbed that inflated when he was forced to storm the island. Balan was the one thing keeping him from completely succumbing to the sea of depression and self hate.
He really liked the maestros smell, like a flower in the desert tickling his nose with sweet smells. It was amazing and very delightful, he didn't notice balan was carrying him to a bedroom to begin the therapy.
The therapy was to restore some of that childhood innocence and to rest before having to go back to the cold world....
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alfiebungo · 3 months
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Fuck you.
Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.
When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.
Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.
Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.
You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you.
Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing.
Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.
The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined.
The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID I DO HELP ME
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