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abubblingcandle · 1 year ago

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So so so so intrigued by your Dad!Higgins fic. I hadn't really thought about Higgins in that way but despite bad advice to Jamie about his dad, Higgins is one of the best examples of dad figure that we see on the show

If you want to share any more then please do!

Ahhh thank you! So I am on a mission to just give Jamie all the dad figures and the same thing hit me. Like he does give bad advice but we see so much more of Higgins being a supportive figure to the lads and even in S1 genuinely caring about them!

Despite you asking for Dad!Higgins, I've just finished a scene that's been haunting me this morning with something from that fic that might be even more important ... Mum!Julie 😂 Julie who's husband announces he is bring home an injured and troubled 23 year old who is known for chatting shit and trying to antagonise people. Julie who looks at this boy and sees a lost teenager under all the posturing and immediately goes into "I'm going to parent this boy so hard he won't know what's hit him" mode. Julie Higgins has raised 5 boys and has a football team invade her house every Christmas Day, what's one more son?

“Oh fucking hell,” Jamie groaned and Higgins watched him slowly straighten and fumble for the remote as soon as his own face appeared next to the Sky Sports pundit.

“Language Jamie,” Julie softedly scolded. Jamie turned the TV off and froze in place. He turned to look at the table and frowned.

“Um, what?” he replied, straightening up and throwing the remote onto the cushions next to him.

“Don’t swear in front of the children,” Julie prompted, returning her focus to her laptop. Stevie and Dana both looked at Higgins in shock and then at each other with slightly fearful glee. It had been a long time in this house since someone had talked back to Julie. If Jamie had an ounce of sense in his body he would apologise and never say another swear word in Julie’s presence. Instead, he scoffed and leant back on the settee.

“Ain’t nothing they haven’t heard before I can assure you and I’m an adult, in case hadn’t noticed, I can say what I want,” he smirked, waving it off dismissively.

“Not in my house you can’t. For as long as you are staying here you need to follow my rules. Therefore no swearing when the children are in the house,” Julie closed her laptop, turning in her chair to hit Jamie with the patented mum glare. Jamie’s smirk shifted through a fair few different emotions before his mouth pressed into a thin line.

“That’s bullshit. Free speech and all that,” he huffed.

“Last warning Jamie. You don’t have to stay here if you are not willing to make some concessions to sharing your space,” Julie glared back.

“Fuck it, then I won’t!” he levered himself up from the settee with his good arm and stormed past the table to the door. “Didn’t even want to be here anyway. Might as well be at home,” he grumbled, kicking on his shoes. “Fuck all of this,” he exclaimed and then the door swung in his wake. Higgins jumped as it slammed shut. The house was left in silence.

“I’ll go after him,” Higgins sighed, placing his hands down on his knees and sighing as he prepared to get up. Julie pressed her hand down on top of his.

“Give him time to calm down,” she sighed, smiling sadly. “Boys you mind going to your rooms to play for a bit,” she suggested but all three of the present Higgins men knew it wasn’t a selection. They left their homework scattered around the table and sprinted off up the stairs pushing each other.

“I’m sorry. We can tell him to go,” Higgins muttered. He had hoped more than anything that being in a positive atmosphere might somehow fix Jamie like Ted always thought it might but it seemed not. He was still the smug and sarky fool that Richmond knew.

“I don’t want him to go. I don’t even particularly care about the swearing love,” Julie chuckled. Higgin’s head shot round to frown at her. “Oh Leslie he’s a hundred percent right. The boys have definitely heard worse language than that and Jamie is an adult and adults swear sometimes,” she added with a shrug.

“So why did you make a scene about it?”

“From what you’ve told me and from what I’ve seen, Jamie’s probably never been parented. It’s one of those stupid things about the football system. You control these kids then move them from their parents often as teenagers and give them so much money, so so much money, and fame and then expect them to make good choices. Mentally Jamie is around 15 but with the resources and freedom of a 23 year old celebrity. Someone needs to set him boundaries and show him that no matter what he can do with his right foot, he needs to show respect if he wants to be treated with respect. And that is something that a parent should teach their child,” Julie finished her monologue and thesis on childhood development. Higgins just stared at her. How on earth had he got so lucky? “Now I am going to open that bottle of incredibly expensive wine that Jamie got us. We are both going to drink a glass and pretend that this is a blissfully child free day and then you are going to go find Jamie,” she kissed him on the cheek.

“Will he be fine out there? He doesn’t know the neighbourhood that well,” Higgins frowned but Julie’s kiss moved to his lips.

“Well as he explicitly told us, he is an adult. I’m sure he’ll be fine,” she smiled.

#candle writes #ted lasso fanfic #jamie tartt #ask box is always open #leslie higgins #julie higgins #gfylm tag

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freakingoutthesquares · 2 years ago

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Pulp Diction - Part One Words: Paul Lester, Photographer: Pat Pope Melody Maker, 27 May 1995 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

Starring: JARVIS COCKER as THE JUNKSHOP ROMANTIC STEVE MACKEY as THE PLAYBOY RUSSELL SENIOR as THE ALIEN CANDIDA DOYLE as THE CARE BEAR KID NICK BANKS as THE PIE-MUNCHER

From the late Seventies right up to the early Nineties, Sheffield's Pulp were critical faves whose bizarre sex-obsessed space-pop eluded commercial success. Then in 1994, their His 'n' Hers LP sold 100,000 copies, went Top 10 and almost won the Mercury Prize. Meanwhile, frontman Jarvis Cocker became Britain's unlikeliest sex symbol and all-round multi-media pundit. With their fantastic new single 'Common People' released this week, we meet the brilliant Pulp as they prepare to ascend to the next level of fame and acclaim.

PULPINTRO

He's Chris Evans' favourite artist. Greater London Radio has called him "the first pop star of the 21st century". This writer reckons he's Eric Morecambe meets James Bond. And he's described himself as "Woody Alien in platform heels". Ladies and Gentlemen, Jarvis Branson Cocker, the human stick insect in Oxfam gladrags rechristened "Pop's Mr Sex" by The Observer's "Life" magazine, has just entered the building. And tripped over some camera cable.

As stumbles go, it's pretty clumsy. Although Jarvis doesn't exactly tumble arse over tit onto the Maker photographer's studio floor, it's a trip nonetheless, a full-scale fumble of the feet, a semi-somersault. Not that Cocker seems to care. He doesn't bother to check whether the nosy bastard journalist has witnessed his miniature fall from grace, he just regains his balance and heads towards the studio table where several platefuls of sweets and sandwiches await.

The trip is all. In it, we can locate the sublime/corblimey essence of Pulp, the most modern of modern pop bands, fronted by Jarvis Cocker, the ordinary man with the extraordinary talent, the sex god with the sex problems, the klutz-icon whose Cool Quotient is raised precisely because he doesn't mind looking uncool. Thought: Jarvis Cocker has the same initials as Jesus Christ and Jimmy Corkhill.

Fact: on the night of this interview, he is spied in a quiet corner of a Menswear after-show party with a gorgeous young girl, legs akimbo, facing him on his lap, her skirt around her waist, his crotch against hers, the pair, oblivious to the drinking/drugging hordes (basically the entire population of The Good Mixer relocated to London W1), thrusting and grunting like extras from "Confessions Of A Britpop Idol".

Theory: the British public is obsessed with sex, especially public sex, at which Jarvis Cocker is (becoming) an expert. Ergo, the British public is (becoming) obsessed with Jarvis Cocker, who, after 15 years in the shadows, is Going Public with Pulp's synthetically treated, dramatically arranged, indecently graphic pop songs about public - and private and magical and mundane - sex.

PULPSEX (FOREPLAY)

A Pulp feature without sex would be like a Barry White feature without sex or a Spiritualized feature without drugs or a Snoop Doggy Dogg feature without guns or a Shaun Ryder feature without sex and drugs and guns, or a Paul Weller feature without loads of tedious meandering bollocks about old blues and soul records. But a Pulp feature - or, for that matter, a Pulp song - doesn't have to be solely about sex. It's just that, for Pulp, as it is for Jarvis Cocker, as it is (let's be honest) for us, sex is the axis around which all their/his/our other obsessions orbit.

So, yes, a Pulp feature or a Pulp song could be about knitting, just as it could be about fairgrounds or babies or joyriders or pink gloves or lipgloss or underwear. But really, once you've rubbed at the surface and scrubbed away the details of Pulp's beautiful tales of banal lives, you're left with sex, in all its gory glory. I'm not sorry about this. Neither's Jarvis Cocker.

"Is there anything in the world more interesting than sex?" the thinking woman's crumpet with the thick-rimmed spectacles repeats my loaded/"Loaded" question in his inimitably rich, deep South Yorkshire voice. "No, I don't suppose there is. Eating and reproducing are the two major motives that make animals want to do things. And I don't think it's that different with people, except that people have the ability to think about it, and have morals about it. I always thought of sex as something quite transcendental," he continues, leaning forward now. "Not that l'm into tantric sex, or whatever, but in the way that it transcends... In a world where religion isn't such a massive guiding force, sex is, along with drugs, the closest we ever get to a transcendental feeling. Especially the moment of orgasm." Oo-er, Jarvis Cock-er.

Think of the seedy voyeurism of "Babies" (from "His 'n' Hers") where the kid watches his friend's sister going at it hammer-and-tongs through a gap in a wardrobe door; of the tawdry perversions of "Sheffield: Sex City" from "Pulpintro" ("I just had to make love to all the cracks in the pavement and the shop doorways"); or the smutty ambiguity of "Little Girl (With Blue Eyes)" from "Masters Of The Universe" ("There's a hole in your heart / And one between your legs / You've never had to wonder which one he's going to fill"): Pulpsex is never the hygienic coupling you see in films, the seamless, juiceless, sexless, unproblematic sex we're all supposed to have as adults.

Jarvis Cocker is the only white pop artist currently addressing the subject of sex in an explicit manner. Historically, white pop sex has either been good clean fun (The Beatles, The Beach Boys) or its darker side has just been hinted at (The Who, The Rolling Stones) or it has been the course of much angst (New Order, The Smiths).

Today, of course, sex is dealt with in numerous black genres such as rap, house and swingbeat, only there the sex is the mechanically precise variety, all domineering men and submissive women, gleaming musculature and cool biological fusion and fission. Pulpsex is rather more fumbling and fallible than that. It takes place between streets, not between the sheets.

"I like that sort of thing," admits Jarvis. "It's good for sex to be an event, not always taking place in the same venue. It's better to go on tour, as it were. It's more exciting. Not that I'm one of those people who has to think that they're going to be discovered at any moment shagging in an alleyway, or whatever."

"Anyway," he refers back to the bump 'n' grind style of contemporary sensual poetry, "that's where most pop writing about sex falls down. It becomes like a parody of a man trying to portray himself as God's gift to women, as the greatest stud alive."

Could a white man ever get away with a line like Barry White's "Take off your brassiere, my dear"?

"No, they'd get the piss taken out of them, and rightly so."

As Pulp's popularity increases, so too does Jarvis Cocker's ability to reduce female admirers to paroxysms of pleasure at the sight of his beanpole academic frame or the sound of his lugubrious, deadpan, baritone. Thing is, they're half surrendering to Jarvis, the post-modern Englebert Humperdink (he sends them), and half laughing at themselves for doing so (is he sending himself up?). There is a similarly narrow line in Pulp's songs between the silly and the serious. Could Jarv sing a song about sex with a straight face, or does he usually feel the need to be self-deprecating about it?

"Well," he smiles, "there is always that temptation where sex is concerned to hide the IQ, to pretend you didn't really mean what you said, which is a cop-out. You have to risk looking a bit daft."

Jarvis didn't lose his virginity until he was 19, and he was apparently celibate for several years when he moved down to London from Sheffield at the age of 25 to study film at St Martin's College Of Art. For years, his frustrated lust for lust fuelled his muse. Now he's got a live-in lover, Sarah, who may or may not be the saucy girl from the Menswear party and works in a mental health centre. ("I DJ'ed there once," Jarvis tells me. "I played them lots of Madness records".) Although like all of us he's struggling to keep his coitus explosively interesting while in a steady relationship ("I don't think you can have both at once. Do you know what I mean?" Oh, but I do), he is surely having at least more regular, if not more successful, sex. Is there a direct correlation between Jarvis Having Successful Sex and Jarvis No Longer Being Able To Write Successfully About Sex?

"It depends how you measure success at sex," he says. "There isn't a score card in operation, or anything." I dunno, I got a standing ovation from my girlfriend the other night. "I wouldn't say I was having more successful sex now," Jarvis ignores me. "I might be having more sex but I don't know if it's more successful." But if it was? "Then I'd probably stop writing altogether and concentrate on shagging! If it was that good. I mean," expands Jarvis, grandly, "there is a theory that states that people create Art because they're sublimating their sexual desires in some way, or they have certain feelings of dissatisfaction which drive them to achieve certain things. So if you were really satisfied with sex and life in general, you'd probably just give up creating and concentrate on enjoying yourself."

There are few signs of a satisfied Jarvis Cocker on "Common People", Pulp's anthemic, gigantic new single whose relentlessly intense rhythm and motorik pace recall the demonic, supersonic, electronic mo-mo-momentum of Eno-era Roxy Music, and whose juggernaut keyboard riff and vitriolic sex-geek lyric smack of Elvis Costello at his most deliciously malicious (circa "Lipstick Vogue"). The narrator of this staggering piece of synthesised pop invective relates the story of a girl who wants to slum it for a while by moving into a scuzzy neighbourhood, shopping in scummy grocers and sleeping with common people like...

...Jarvis?

"Sex was never really on the cards, to be honest," says the working-class boy from Intake, Sheffield of the real life incident recalled in "Common People", in which a student from a wealthy Greek family who Jarvis met at St Martin's College outlined her plans to take a brief, vicarious holiday in other people's misery, via El Jarvo himself.

"That was just a bit of poetic license. I only knew her for a matter of weeks, and I only spoke to her a few times, but it stuck in my mind what she was saying, that she wanted to sleep with 'common people like me'."

Did she actually use that line?

"Oh no. She never actually said that to me. It was one of the things that I found quite strange when I moved to London," digresses Jarvis, reminiscing about his formative years as a fully paid-up member of the Weird Teen Club, about his days wearing lederhosen and looking like a bit-part from "The Sound Of Music".

"Because when I lived in Sheffield I was always getting flack off football fans, stuff like, 'F***ing poof'. I was always considered a bit effete. Then suddenly I came down here and, because I spoke with this northern accent, I had this air of slight earthliness. I liked that, because I'd never had it before."

"So yeah," Jarvis returns to the inverted snob-protagonist of "Common People", "maybe she did consider me a bit common." Isn't that Pulp in a nutshell: a blend of the earthly and the effete, the coarse and the camp?

"Maybe, I don't know. That's your job to say that." So you were a bit posh up in Sheffield, and you're a bit rough in London? "Yeah, maybe. Yeah."

Does Jarvis, the alienated wunderkind who has been in Pulp for over half his life, feel more comfortable back home or down here?

"I was thinking about that when we played with Oasis at the Sheffield Arena show, actually," he says, fiddling with a loose fingernail. "At the do afterwards there were loads of people from Manchester and I really enjoyed being there, because I've not socialised in the north for a long time. I've found I get on easier with northerners that I do with people that I meet down here."

Can we extrapolate from this that, perusing a list of his peers, Jarvis would be more at ease with, for example, Oasis that he would, say, Blur?

"I've got more in common with Oasis, yeah. When it comes to something like civilised conversation."

Civilised conversation? Oasis?

"Why not? In fact, the first time I ever spoke to them was when we were all in America and we were trying to get into their show in San Francisco. And we got a message saying, 'You can all come in as long as Jarvis comes onto the bus and talks to us.' So I went on and talked. They were really friendly. Unfortunately, I was in a really depressed state - it was my birthday and I was feeling a bit maudlin - and they probably thought I was a right moron."

Jarvis Cocker meets the brothers Gallagher. The mind truly boggles at this summit encounter between such diametrically opposed aesthetic schools of consciousness. I suppose Noel and Liam were busy swapping lurid tales of birds and booze while poor Jarv was left to ruminate on the shabby nature of existence, or something.

Am I right?

"Not really, no," Jarv casually leaps out of his seat to deposit a bit of nail in the studio bin. "The only real difference," he says, plonking himself back down on his swivel chair, "was that they were talking about shagging birds and I was thinking about shagging birds."

Part Two: Here

#russell senior #jarvis cocker #steve mackey #candida doyle #nick banks #pulp #britpop #melody maker #interview

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writingreadingdaydreaming · 4 months ago

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just saw your round table reblog! what do you think would be the response of current omega footballers? or just the football world in general. i would think most of them would make some or public statements about how they encourage diversity and wish to see equality and the usual. but i wonder privately how many of them relate to what was said, how many of them are forced to face things they were too scared to face before.

also i wonder how roy’s and ian’s coworkers would react to it in the sense that when roy’s on sky or ian’s on match of the day they make some little comment about the documentary or something.

i know the other pundits would say something but i’m unsure how’d they’d react!

Thank you so much for this ask!!! I am however going to put the answer under a cut as it contains triggering topics and people can choose if they’re okay with seeing that or not.

(Warnings for discussions of sexual violence and abortion)

I think one of the big things that it would put in perspective for a lot of omega players is how universal a lot of the experiences are, especially pertaining to harassment/abuse or abortions. We already know approximately the statistics for women having abortions and being subject to non-partner abuse in real life is about 1 in 3, and I think in an omegaverse context where omega male athletes played alongside betas and alphas, those statistics would be significantly higher. To put it in perspective, the line-up for the roundtable is this:

Steven Gerrard

Kaka

Roy Keane

Ian Wright

Alessandro Del Piero

Fernando Torres

Nemanja Vidic

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Gareth Bale

Out of those nine people, Ian would have been the only one who has been physically assaulted/abused or had an abortion during their career.

It’s not only about that though, it’s also about protecting the omega who are still active. Telling younger omegas directly that this isn’t normal, and if it does happen, that it should be dealt with. I just think of how many young omega players would realise that they were or are getting groomed by coaches or managers. Imagine how many omegas would then stick up for themselves, because they saw their heroes basically begging them to do it where they couldn’t. God, imagine how many didn’t even know that the FOC existed, and didn’t know there was someone they could go to to protect themselves? It’s heartbreaking but in a sort of hopeful way, like maybe it doesn’t have to be this way for much longer.

As for reactions from pundits… it’s interesting. In Ian’s case, I think Ian is known for being a bit more social and outspoken, so I don’t think him featuring in a video like that would spark much surprise. I think the big thing would be Roy’s decision to go. Roy’s definitely not shy to complain but when he does it’s always about external things separate to himself - he never throws himself a pity party about his own experiences. I think there would be more comments made about that than about Ian. People looking at him and thinking that he’s the one that has the ‘get on with it’ attitude, why dwell on the past now? But they don’t really consider it’s not about dwelling on the past. It’s about the fact that he can’t keep running from everything forever, and maybe this is his way of letting go. Maybe keeping it all bottled up for over eighteen years was the last drawn-out torture from his abuser, the last claw sunk into his skin. A reminder that no matter what, he’s still under control. To let that feeling die, he has to let it live first, and this is his way of doing that.

Plus, Roy knows that even if everyone else turns on him for this, he’s still got Ian by his side, holding his hand.

(Also while he’s not mentioned here I have an idea about an interaction between Alessandro and Carra that sort of relates to this if anyone wants to hear-)

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kinialohaguy · 5 months ago

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Secret Service Mall Cops

Aloha kākou. The first day of the Republican National Committee was an excellent start. My only disappointment was the amount of oxygen consumed by the chattering round table pundits that love to hear themselves talking. I wanted to see more of the speeches on the convention floor. So, I split my television into four views. While listening to streaming broadcasts on my phone, multiplexing my…

#Assassination #Fake News Media #MAGA #President Donald J. Trump #Religion #RNC Convention #Secret Service #Trump #Unsocial Media

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support1212 · 7 months ago

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Quality football prediction,

In the ever-evolving world of football, predicting match outcomes has become both a science and an art form. With the rise of data analytics, advanced statistics, and expert analysis, the realm of football prediction has reached new heights. Yet, amidst the sea of predictions flooding the internet, what truly distinguishes a quality football prediction from the rest?

Understanding the Game:

Quality football prediction begins with a deep understanding of the game itself. Beyond just the surface-level statistics and recent form, it requires an appreciation for the nuances of football – the tactics employed by teams, the strengths and weaknesses of individual players, and the dynamics of different leagues and competitions.

Data-Driven Insights:

Data has revolutionized football prediction, providing a treasure trove of information for analysts and enthusiasts alike. From possession statistics to expected goals (xG), from defensive solidity to attacking flair, the modern-day predictor has access to an abundance of metrics to inform their predictions.

However, it's not merely about drowning in data but extracting meaningful insights from it. Quality football prediction involves leveraging data to identify patterns, trends, and correlations that can offer valuable insights into match outcomes.

Contextual Analysis:

Context is key in football prediction. While data provides a solid foundation, it must be interpreted within the broader context of the game. Factors such as injuries, suspensions, managerial changes, and even weather conditions can significantly impact the outcome of a match.

Moreover, understanding the psychological aspects of the game – the mentality of players, the pressure of big occasions, and the significance of rivalries – adds another layer of complexity to the prediction process.

Expert Opinion:

In the vast landscape of football prediction, expert opinion serves as a guiding light. Analysts, pundits, and former players bring years of experience and insider knowledge to the table, offering invaluable insights that may not be evident from the data alone.

However, it's essential to approach expert opinion with a critical eye, recognizing that even the most seasoned pundits can be fallible. Quality prediction involves synthesizing expert analysis with data-driven insights to form a well-rounded view.

Continuous Learning:

Football is a dynamic sport, constantly evolving with new tactics, strategies, and trends emerging over time. As such, quality prediction requires a commitment to continuous learning and adaptation.

Whether it's staying updated on the latest statistical models, studying the tactics of top managers, or analyzing historical trends, the pursuit of knowledge is fundamental to refining one's prediction skills.

Conclusion:

In the realm of football prediction, quality reigns supreme. It's not merely about making bold claims or following gut instincts but rather about employing a systematic approach that combines data, analysis, context, and expertise.

By understanding the game, leveraging data-driven insights, considering the broader context, respecting expert opinion, and committing to continuous learning, one can unlock the secrets to quality football prediction. And while no prediction is ever foolproof in the unpredictable world of football, mastering the art of prediction can certainly tilt the odds in one's favor.

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garythingsworld · 1 year ago

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laocommunity · 2 years ago

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Ben White's Redemption: Arsenal Defender Set to Make England Return After Mysterious World Cup Exit

Ben White's Redemption: Arsenal Defender Set to Make England Return After Mysterious World Cup Exit Ben White's Redemption: Arsenal Defender Set to Make England Return After Mysterious World Cup Exit An Introduction to Ben White Ben White is a talented young footballer who plays as a center-back for Arsenal FC in the English Premier League. He was born on October 8, 1997, in Poole, England, and started his professional football career with Brighton & Hove Albion in 2016. White is widely recognized for his composure on the ball, ability to read the game, and excellent passing range. He has impressed several top-flight clubs and has been subject to interest from the likes of Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal. However, what sets him apart is his mental strength and resilience, which has been on full display throughout his promising career. A Mysterious World Cup Exit Ben White's journey to the England national team was a roller coaster ride that saw him being picked as a last-minute addition to the squad for the Euro 2020 tournament. However, it was the subsequent World Cup qualifier against Hungary that saw his journey come to an abrupt halt. After impressing in his debut match against San Marino, he was handed a starting spot against Hungary. However, just 45 minutes into the game, he was substituted due to an injury which was later confirmed to be a hip flexor problem. Despite initial optimism, he was not included in the squad for the next round of games, much to the surprise of pundits and fans alike. The English FA releases a statement to explain that the injury was more severe than initially thought and that he would require further assessment. A New Beginning at Arsenal Despite the disappointment of missing out on the World Cup squad, Ben White remained positive and was determined to return stronger. He completed a high-profile transfer to Arsenal FC in the summer of 2021, which saw them pay Brighton £50 million for his services. Since then, he has settled in well at the Emirates Stadium and has already made a significant impact. In a short span of time, he has established himself as a key player in Mikel Arteta's system and helped the team to climb up the league table. His performances have caught the eye of several national team coaches, and he was subsequently called up to the England squad for the upcoming World Cup qualifiers. This marks a major turnaround in fortunes for the young defender, who is clearly relishing the opportunity to represent his country. The Road Ahead Ben White's redemption story is a testament to his mental fortitude and resilience. Despite a setback in his career, he remained focused, trained hard, and worked tirelessly to get himself back in shape. His hard work has paid off, and he is now in line to make a return to the England national team. It is clear that Ben White is one of the brightest young talents in English football and has a bright future ahead of him. He is a perfect example of how hard work and determination can pay off, and his performances for Arsenal are a testament to his talent and potential. In conclusion, Ben White's story is a testament to the power of self-belief and resilience. His return to the England national team is a well-deserved reward for his hard work, talent, and dedication to the game. We wish him all the best for the future and look forward to seeing him shine in an England shirt. #SPORT Read the full article

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musclesandhammering · 2 years ago

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Lmaooo idk whether to feel excited bc another human acknowledged this era of the internet or attacked bc I participated in the Keith/anderson part

i am DEEp into the fanlore website for rpf and while sure it is morally reprehensible it is FASCINATING

#this is the first I’ve heard someone mention this in the good year of 2022 #or in the last 5-10 good years tbh #I use good loosely btw #real news fandom #the prt #pundit round table #my sins are re-emerging #keith olbermann #anderson cooper #v sorry for hijacking ur post op but it triggered my war flashbacks

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musclesandhammering · 11 months ago

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genuinely i cannot reconcile cnn anderson cooper with the anderson cooper that appears on late night theyre completely different people to me ( feel free to ignore this ask if u want )

Omg I got an Anderson cooper ask !!!! 😭

I’m so excited, I need more ac mutuals! Feel free to blow up my inbox (or don’t! no pressure!!). *Beware if you message me, tho, I’m rly rly bad at maintaining a conversation :/

Very true though! Tbh I feel like he comes in like.. 4-5 versions of himself 😂. There’s the professional suit and tie cnn version, then there’s the nearly extinct black tshirt warzone guy version, then there’s like the nerdy trying-too-hard-to-be-funny-without-doing-anything-I’ll-regret late night/morning show/nye version, and then there was the (superior) vintage version from his abc, The Mole, and early cnn days before he was so concerned about maintaining public appearances……. it’s just so interesting how he presents himself vastly differently based on the audience he’s speaking to.

Like most celebs try so hard to push that “I’m so real! I’m the same off camera as I am on! I’m just me!” thing- and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard him say that a few times- but it’s refreshing how it’s just so blatantly not true with him. He code-switches hard like all the time lol.

Makes it easier to acknowledge the things I don’t like about his personality too, cause I’m pretty sure at least half of them aren’t genuine 🤷‍♀️.

But yeah, he’s very good at playing different roles to craft a specific public persona multifaceted :)

#sorry anon you hit the hyperfixation button #also I wasn’t trying to shade ac by implying he’s fake I actually see it as him being super intelligent and socially aware #and to me that makes him more interesting which makes him more stan-worthy #I know what you meant tho #seeing him interviewing heads of state and then later seeing him #refuse to answer questions about his sex life while choking down a shot is uhh.. Jarring. 😂#Anderson cooper #ac360 #cnn #PRT #real news fandom #anon #ask #pundit round table

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route22ny · 4 years ago

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(Copied here in its entirety below for the paywall-challenged)

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The Differences Between the Vaccines Matter

Yes, all of the COVID-19 vaccines are very good. No, they’re not all the same.

Public-health officials are enthusiastic about the new, single-shot COVID-19 vaccine from Johnson & Johnson, despite its having a somewhat lower efficacy at preventing symptomatic illness than other available options. Although clinical-trial data peg that rate at 72 percent in the United States, compared with 94 and 95 percent for the Moderna and Pfizer-BioNTech vaccines, many experts say we shouldn’t fixate on those numbers. Much more germane, they say, is the fact that the Johnson & Johnson shot, like the other two, is essentially perfect when it comes to preventing the gravest outcomes. “I’m super-pumped about this,” Virginia’s vaccine coordinator told The New York Times last weekend. “A hundred percent efficacy against deaths and hospitalizations? That’s all I need to hear.”

The same glowing message—that the COVID-19 vaccines are all equivalent, at least where it really counts—has been getting public-health officials and pundits super-pumped for weeks now. Its potential value for promoting vaccination couldn’t be more clear: We’ll all be better off, and this nightmare will be over sooner, if people know that the best vaccine of all is whichever one they can get the soonest. With that in mind, Vox has urged its readers to attend to “the most important vaccine statistic”—the fact that “there have been zero cases of hospitalization or death in clinical trials for all of these vaccines.” The physician and CNN medical analyst Leana Wen also made a point of noting that “all of the vaccines are essentially a hundred percent” in this regard. And half a dozen former members of President Joe Biden’s COVID-19 Advisory Board wrote in USA Today, “Varying ‘effectiveness’ rates miss the most important point: The vaccines were all 100% effective in the vaccine trials in stopping hospitalizations and death.”

There’s a problem here. It’s certainly true that all three of the FDA-authorized vaccines are very good—amazing, even—at protecting people’s health. No one should refrain from seeking vaccination on the theory that any might be second-rate. But it’s also true that the COVID-19 vaccines aren’t all the same: Some are more effective than others at preventing illness, for example; some cause fewer adverse reactions; some are more convenient; some were made using more familiar methods and technologies. As for the claim that the vaccines have proved perfectly and equally effective at preventing hospitalization and death? It’s just not right.

These differences among the options could matter quite a bit, in different ways to different people, and they should not be minimized or covered over. Especially not now: Vaccine supplies in the U.S. will soon surpass demand, even as more contagious viral variants spread throughout the country. In the meantime, governors are revoking their rules on face masks, or taking other steps to loosen their restrictions. It’s tempting to believe that a simple, decisive message—even one that verges on hype—is what’s most needed at this crucial moment. But if the message could be wrong, that has consequences.

The idea that all of the vaccines are pretty much the same, in that they’re perfect at preventing COVID-19 hospitalizations and death, got its legs on social media. The USA Today op-ed by the former members of the Biden team illustrated this by linking to a data table found on Twitter. Created by the infectious-disease doctor Monica Gandhi, it showed a variety of trial results for six different vaccines. One column was rendered in canary yellow—“Protection from hospitalizations/death”—and every cell read “100%.” A similar table, tweeted out a few days earlier by the dean of Brown University’s School of Public Health, Ashish Jha, conveyed the same idea through a grid of zeros—as in, zero people hospitalized, zero people dead. The prominent physician and researcher Eric Topol followed with his own clinical-trial data summary featuring a column of 100 percents. “That is impressive!” he wrote across the top. All told, their posts would be retweeted about 15,000 times.

The data were indeed suggestive of an encouraging idea. Based on the numbers so far, we can expect the vaccines to provide extremely high levels of protection against the most dire outcomes. Still, we don’t know how high—and it’s clear they won’t uniformly cause hospitalizations and deaths from COVID-19 to disappear in vaccinated people.

The experts understand this, of course. Gandhi has been updating her table as more data come in, and now pegs Moderna’s efficacy on that front at 97 percent; Jha has since tweeted that “nothing is 100 percent … But these vaccines sure are close”; and Topol told The Atlantic that the numbers in his tweet are not a sufficient basis from which to draw “any determination of magnitude of effect,” though the fact that they all point in the same direction is “very encouraging.” Still, the message of perfection that their initial tables and tweets spawned—the gist, for many readers, of all those 100s and zeros—has since been picked up far and wide, and misinterpreted along the way.

To grasp the shaky nature of these particular data, it’s important to remember how the vaccine-development process began. Last April, not long after the pandemic began, the World Health Organization set out a target efficacy for vaccines of 50 percent, with options for how that value should be measured. A vaccine could be shown to reduce the risk of symptomatic disease, severe disease, or transmission of the coronavirus. The FDA offered similar guidance in June, and other regulatory agencies also followed the WHO’s lead. Among these choices, symptomatic disease was the most feasible, because it’s both a common outcome and one that’s easier to confirm in a large-scale trial. An outcome that included asymptomatic infections would have been even more common, but screening for all infections would have been prohibitive, especially early in the pandemic. So that’s how the vaccine trials were designed: Each would try to demonstrate at least 50 percent efficacy with respect to symptomatic disease as its “primary outcome.”

The trials could have used severe disease, hospitalization, or death as primary outcomes, but that would have slowed things down. These events are far more infrequent—there could have been 200 infections for each COVID-19 death in the U.S.—and that means it would have taken more time, and larger numbers of trial participants, to generate enough data to be sure of a 50 percent efficacy. Developers did include “severe COVID-19” as a secondary outcome—that is, one that would be measured and analyzed, but for which the trial might not have been designed to provide a definitive answer. Efficacy against hospitalization and against death, however, were not included as secondary outcomes for every trial.

Given that fact, the data can’t support a claim that the vaccines are 100 percent effective at preventing these serious outcomes. (Topol highlighted this very issue in an op-ed last fall for The New York Times.) Out of the six vaccines included in the dramatic data tables that made the rounds on Twitter, the clinical trials for only two of them—Oxford-AstraZeneca’s and Johnson & Johnson’s—included hospitalization for COVID-19 as a secondary outcome, and reported that efficacy rate. The clinical research for one other vaccine, made by Novavax, had hospitalization as a secondary outcome, but that trial hasn’t been reported in full yet. (On my website, I’ve provided more detailed information and analysis of the relevant data.)

Now, a casual reader of clinical-trial reports—or their summaries on social media—might take the fact that no hospitalizations of vaccinated people are mentioned to mean that none occurred. That’s risky, given that pieces of the data have been published across various medical journals and via several different regulatory agencies rather than in full in one place; that the plans for some trials did not specify ahead of time that the vaccine’s efficacy at preventing hospitalizations would be calculated; and that we’ve seen only minimal early data (via a press release from Novavax) from one of them. It would be just as risky to assume that all hospitalizations would be included in the analyses of people who developed severe COVID-19. Hospitalization and severe disease are not synonymous—people could be coping at home even though COVID-19 has caused their oxygen levels to drop severely, and moderately ill people might be hospitalized out of an abundance of caution when they are at high risk of getting worse.

The two vaccine trials that did explicitly report hospitalizations as an efficacy outcome make this latter issue very clear. For the AstraZeneca vaccine, one person in the control group had severe COVID-19, but eight people were hospitalized; for Johnson & Johnson, 34 people in the placebo group had severe COVID-19, but only five people were hospitalized. It’s true that zero vaccinated people were hospitalized in either study after the vaccines took effect. But with numbers that small, you can’t draw a reliable conclusion about how high efficacy may be for these outcomes. As Diana Zuckerman of the National Center for Health Research pointed out about the Johnson & Johnson trial, “It’s misleading to tell the public that nobody who was vaccinated was hospitalized unless you also tell them that only 5 people in the placebo group were hospitalized.” She’s right. And you can’t be confident about predicting effectiveness precisely in a wider population outside the trial, either. For example, some of the vaccine trials included relatively few people older than 60 as participants.

You can see how fragile these numbers are by looking at those compiled for severe disease. In the Pfizer trial, for example, just one vaccinated person developed severe COVID-19 versus three in the placebo group—which meant that a single bout of disease made the difference between a calculated efficacy rate of 66 percent and one of 100 percent. For the Novavax and Oxford-AstraZeneca trials, there were zero people with severe disease in the vaccinated group versus only one in the control group, so adding or subtracting one would have been even more dramatic. The problem is even greater for deaths. For that efficacy analysis, only two of the vaccine trials—for Moderna’s and Johnson & Johnson’s—reported any COVID-19 deaths at all in the control groups.

It’s also important to remember that these are early results: Some people who enrolled very late in the trials aren’t yet included in reported data, and analysis is still under way. Indeed, the FDA pointed out in December that one vaccinated person in the Moderna trial had been hospitalized with apparently severe COVID-19 two months after receiving a second dose. That person was in a group still awaiting final assessment by the researchers, and was not mentioned in Moderna’s formal readout of results.

We’ve learned a little more from the ongoing public vaccination programs. Four important reports have come in the past two weeks. In one, researchers compared about 600,000 people who had had a full course of the Pfizer vaccine in Israel with 600,000 people matched in age and other demographics who had not been vaccinated. The shots’ effectiveness at preventing hospitalization was measured at 87 percent. (“This vaccine is fabulous in a real world setting,” Jha tweeted in response.) A preprint from Scotland reported an efficacy rate against hospitalization of about 80 percent among people 80 or older, almost all of whom had received only one dose of either the Pfizer or the AstraZeneca vaccine. Two reports from Public Health England estimated a reduction of hospitalization of about 50 percent and 43 percent for the same age group, again almost all after just one dose of the Pfizer vaccine. These are exciting outcomes—those vaccines really, really worked! But they oughtn’t lead anyone to think that the vaccines are all the same, and that protection will be perfect.

Where does that leave us for making decisions? As Anthony Fauci told The New York Times last weekend, “Now you have three highly effective vaccines. Period.” Again, you will get a lot of benefit from any of them, and your risk will shrink even more as those around you get vaccinated too. Whichever one you start with, a booster may be coming in the not-so-distant future, of the same vaccine or perhaps a different one. By taking the first vaccine you can get, you’ll also avoid the risk of finding yourself without protection if infection rates surge where you live.

Efficacy is merely one layer, though. The Pfizer and Moderna vaccines have an edge at preventing symptomatic illness, but the Johnson & Johnson vaccine brings its own advantages. It has no demanding freezer requirements, which means it’s easier to distribute and more accessible to many communities. It’s more affordable than the other two—the company is providing it at cost around the world. Then there’s the fact that resources can be stretched a lot further when only a single dose has to be administered.

For individuals, too, the Johnson & Johnson vaccine has benefits. As a one-and-done injection, it’s more convenient. It also has a lower rate of adverse events than Moderna’s. You can’t compare results of these trials too precisely, but there are indications of a striking difference. About 2 percent of those who got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine recorded having reactions, such as fatigue, muscle aches, and fever, that were severe enough to interfere with daily activities. For those getting their second injection of Moderna, that rate was higher than 15 percent. People who are on the fence about getting vaccinated may find that this difference tips the scales in favor of getting a shot. Others who have doubts about the newness of the mRNA technology in the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines may appreciate the fact that Johnson & Johnson’s approach has already been deployed in the company’s Ebola vaccine, which got full drug approval in Europe last year.

Given these concerns, there’s some danger in the message—however well intentioned—that the COVID-19 vaccines are all the same by any measure, or that they’re perfect wards against severe disease. Vaccination is a public-health imperative, and going full tilt to promote uptake supports the common good. But it’s a personal health decision too. People want to protect themselves and those close to them, and they are likely to care about outcomes other than hospitalization and death, no matter what anyone says now.

Still, raising these concerns in public can be fraught. In response to an inquiry about her data table, Gandhi affirmed the importance of looking at severe-disease outcomes and noted that “careful, collegial and collaborative scientific discourse on the vaccines is imperative moving forward to help us get through the pandemic.” Topol pointed out that he has emphasized the vaccines’ measured efficacy against symptomatic disease many times before, so any isolated reference to his table “takes that particular post out of context.” Jha wrote in an email that he stands by the message of his original tweet, and notes that COVID-19 hospitalizations and deaths are so rare among the people vaccinated in these trials, to quibble over differences is akin to “counting how many angels are dancing on the head of the pin.”

I can see why this might seem like quibbling, but I just don’t think it’s a trivial matter. It would be different if I thought the effectiveness of every one of those six vaccines against hospitalizations and death would really end up being close to 100 percent—or if I bought into the idea, now widespread, that they have already been shown to “nearly” or “effectively” eliminate these outcomes. There is very good reason to be encouraged by the data, but to say right now that people who have been vaccinated face zero risk of serious outcomes—that, for them, COVID-19 is no more dangerous than the common cold—is sure to influence behavior. Imagine how people in high-risk groups would feel about going to the movies, or how their employers would feel about putting resources into workplace safety, if we all assumed that vaccines confer perfect protection against hospitalization or death. Now imagine how the same people and employers would feel knowing they were 85 percent protected.

Nor is there any reason to believe that the public or the personal interest will be served by hype. People who think the vaccines provide ironclad protection may lose trust in experts if reality falls short. Trust in coronavirus-vaccine information is already a problem, and could sink even lower. Activists who are opposed to vaccination may end up turning experts’ “super-pumped” promises against them.

“The idea that people can’t handle nuance,” Jha tweeted at the end of February, “it’s paternalistic. And untrue.” I couldn’t agree more. The principle of treating people like adults is fundamental. We don’t need to exaggerate. Talking about the trade-offs between different medicines and vaccines is often complicated, but we do it all the time—and we can do it with COVID-19 vaccines too.

Hilda Bastian is a scientist, writer, and founding member of the Cochrane Collaboration. She was formerly the editor of the PubMed Health project at the National Library of Medicine.

#public health #covid vaccine #coronavirus pandemic #long reads

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aestheticvoyage2022 · 3 years ago

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Day 137: Tuesday May 17, 2022 - “Round 2″

We were ready for a fresh series and hoping our boys could steal a W on the road. Pundits over here talking about if the AVs could run the table 16 straight? Cmon Now! Lets put end to that talk right away! J B B played out of his mind, backing up all Im feeding Wm about him being a secret superhero. Seriously some of those saves were shocking. LGB! Binner carried us all, all the way into Overtime before a fluky junk goal broke through and ended the game in a heartbreaking way. But wow did we have a goalie and hey - we can do this. We lost and that wasnt near a fun - but everyone was pretty inspired. I am even more excited now for Game 2 Thursday night. We can beat these guys!

Song: Zach Bryan - “Poems and Closing Times”

Quote: “...like that star of the waning summer who beyond all stars rises bathed in the ocean stream to glitter in brilliance.” ― Homer, The Iliad

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catchperfectamericanpresidents · 3 years ago

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Okay, fine… Revised edition!

john oliver, where is he on the submissive-breedable-dominant-infertile chart? add other talk show hosts if you want. ( im sorry i saw the post and this was the first thing that came to mind, so its not really dirty )

Oh GOD. Okay I think that for submissive and breedable we have John Oliver. Conan O'Brien is submissive but infertile. Stephen Colbert is going to be dominant but maybe infertile. Jimmy Kimmel is dominant and fertile, Jimmy Fallon is submissive and infertile.

#pundit round table #in this house we momentarily forget jon stewart’s existence

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therappundit · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Rappers of 2020

The finish line of this long, surreal year is finally upon us...which means that it’s time for me to throw down the gauntlet in the ‘Best of 2020’ frivolous list race! 🙌

*Just to be clear*: this is a list of MCs who I believe turned in the best overall performances in 2020. ***This is NOT a list of the my top 10 favorite MCs***, or even who I believe to be the best MCs in the world at the moment...these are simply dope artists that put forth the strongest, most consistently interesting and important (to the genre) high-quality work in the perilous year that was 2020.

If you think your favorite MC was slighted....well, Michael Jordan is the greatest to ever play the game of basketball but even he didn’t win MVP every year, right? I encourage you to write your own list - it’s a cool way to dap artists that are too often overlooked by industry websites, and share the music you enjoy with others that may not have given the record a spin otherwise.

Even if 2020 didn’t bring you the “instant classic” you had been hoping for, I think it’s hard to deny that this year really had impressive depth when it came to showcasing some of the most diverse music that the genre has to offer. I can’t speak for music in general - sadly I’m just The Rap Pundit, not The Music Pundit - but I can say that it has been an impossible task to keep a playlist less than 500 songs deep at a time, because for every truly great release in 2020 there seemed to be 30 very good releases. 👌

So how did I come about these 10 MCs (and Honorable Mentions)? Before you get huffy about who I snubbed (and that is pointed directly at my jury of older head peers that consider themselves tastemakers, but also haven’t opened their minds up to any new takes on rap styles since the year 2000)...here are the five chief pieces of criteria that I put into finalizing my list:

- quality (whatever lane you’re in, how often did you ‘own it’?)

- quantity (at least 10 very good-to-great songs released, and 3-4 verses that stand out as a ‘must-hear’ for any rap music fan)

- consistency (not just 4-5 great features and a few forgettable solo tracks, will I want to keep at least 7 or 8 of your own new songs released in 2020 in my rotation for 2021?)

- impact (are you so vital to the type of rap music you make that if you stopped rapping tomorrow, there’s no one else in the game that could fill that void?)

- “it” factor (are you carried by a co-sign or an elite production team, or did you bring a style/talent to the table that could carry a record in and of itself?)

Got it? Then here we go...

1. Conway the Machine

I hope 2020 was the type of year that Conway the Machine had been hoping for since he first began his journey with rap music. After years of scraping and hustling towards music industry recognition (and not just cult figure status), at year’s end we see Griselda’s top Lieutenant holding down a rare balancing act: champion of underground hip-hop, and most requested feature by any mainstream rap star looking to add some tough-talking muscle to their album.

While much of Conway’s content has always been driven by surviving an attempt on his life in 2012, much like 50 Cent, Conway’s way with words and perspective manage to elevate the quality of his material to a higher tier than most. And where - at least in his heyday - 50 Cent benefited from an indestructible super-villain persona, Conway’s success can be greatly attributed to a larger-than-life heart. With every braggadocious act of gunplay, there are moments of gratefulness to still being alive to share success with his brethren, as well as a painful longing to be with close allies that are no longer with him (at least not in the physical form).

Above all else, in 2020 Conway the Machine did what he has always done throughout his career: delivered well written, passionate bars about coming up in an impossibly challenging environment and coping with loss...only now his craftsmanship and understanding of how to channel all of those feelings into a more polished final product have yielded the most well-rounded solo project of his career in From King to a God. Progress is a slow process, but the long and winding road has finally taken Conway a step closer to that G.O.A.T. status he will hopefully continue to reach for...

Best Evidence: FKTG, and a countless number of scene-stealing verses alongside rap acts ranging from deep underground to household names

2. Freddie Gibbs

I don't use the word "sauce" all too often (this may actually be the first time), but if there was any MC guaranteed to bring sauce to any rap record right now, it's Freddie Gibbs.

Forever existing somewhere between gritty gangsta and syrupy old soul, the flavor that Freddie brings to every verse is malleable enough to work on virtually any type of record, which was certainly proven in 2020. Anyone foresee a Gibbs & Alchemist Grammy nomination heading into 2020? It’s a testament to how high quality work, through consistent reliability and dues paid, can elevate a project from underground niche following to critical acclaim. While his work with Alchemist may not reach the lofty levels of his heralded collaborations with Madlib, Alfredo represents the best that “quarantine music” can offer...two talented friends saying one day, “hey we should finally drop a full tape together, why not?” - and then BOOM, it happens.

Too many fail to remember that Gibbs already has a long accomplished body of work behind him...so the fact that he may just be entering his prime now, is scary.

Best Evidence: Alfredo, Machinedrum’s “Kane Train”

3. Boldy James

Comeback MC of the year, and no it is not close (but big shout-out to Grafh, another dope MC who had an amazing year).

I'm old enough to remember when folks like Roc Marciano and Ka were seen as sleepy, monotone rappers with little hope of reaching permanent rap icon status (flash-forward to today, and they are widely consider geniuses). For some, the quieter, less hook-dependent approach to making rap songs, was....well, not great rap music. They were wrong then and they’re wrong now, but similar to how the coolest, smartest cat in the room is rarely the loudest, it can take some time and patience before everyone learns what’s what. Time is what is required to appreciate Detroit’s Boldy James, a veteran that has been through it - both in terms of the ups and downs of the music business, as well as the streets through which he draws his stories and inspiration.

Boldy makes it seem all too easy, rapping his verses with the cool, casual tone of telling old stories to a close friend over drinks. Dropping multiple projects (with one still to come) in one year can often lead to over-saturation. Even the most dedicated fans/stans can begin to feel less enthusiastic about new releases when they have already received a healthy portion of more of the same...but most rap fans are not necessarily Boldy James fans. Boldy fans (much like Roc Marciano and Ka fans) are already aware that knowing what type of material to expect from your favorite MC can be a blessing if that MC takes pride in the execution of the final product, rather than the noise leading up to it.

The beauty of his collaboration with The Alchemist (big year for that guy, huh?), The Price of Tea in China, is that it celebrates the more subtle nuances of boom-bap, proving that great MC and producer chemistry can trump the “shock & awe” of more uptempo rap music. The shock in Boldy James’ lyrics sits within the detailed descriptions of the cold world he grew up in...so monotone or not, how can any music could be more gripping than that?

Best Evidence: TPOTIC, Manger On McNichols, a long list of consistently perfect feature verses

4. 42 Dugg

I would say this is more of a longterm investment rather than the celebration of a rapper already within rap’s inner circle, but 42 Dugg didn’t just steal the show on every feature this year, he also displayed maturity in his ability to craft well-rounded, high quality rap singles. I’m talking joints that work just as well on the street tape level as they would at the radio level. That is especially rare to see from a rapper that is still relatively new to national conversations.

So much more than just a co-sign of Lil Baby and Yo Gotti, the Detroit eastsider has already proven that he can craft a full solo album with the swagger of a far more seasoned MC. 42 Dugg combines a Boosie-esque, "oh you think you’re better than me??” chip on his shoulder with the unpredictable bombast of Lil Wayne. What he may lack in punchlines he makes up for in musicianship, his voice bringing one of the most nimble touches to trap music that I have heard in a long time. 42 Dugg music is hard and soulful, with the natural hunger of a rapper that knows me might be one smash away from superstardom. By this time next year, I’m betting he will be.

Best Evidence: Young & Turnt 2 (Deluxe), features on high profile records like Lil Baby’s “Grace” and “We Paid”, and a growing stream of attention grabbing solo loosies

5. Rome Streetz

In 2020 it was almost impossible to be an underground MC with a great project unless you landed a Rome Streetz verse.

Rome has been bubbling for a while now, but in 2020 he unleashed an onslaught on the game. At times he seemed like the hardest working MC in underground circles, busting his ass to not only make as many appearances as possible, but also to own any song he guested on. He raps like every verse might be “the one” that gets him a huge contract, and that’s a level of hunger and consistency that will likely land him more than one huge contract someday. In spite of that laundry list of strong features, the young Brooklyn MC still managed to release multiple dope solo projects, all flashing a rap style that feels at once a throwback and the fresh voice NYC rap needs.

Rome is clearly from the same school as many of the New York City greats, because he has the capacity to deliver dark, potent bars with the sharp intellect of a Harvard lecture (think AZ before “Sugar Hill”). While he sounds most at home when he’s rhyming over instrumentals that run more coldblooded than a horror flick, it’s easy to picture him popping up in more places in 2021...if that’s even possible.

Best Evidence: Noise Kandy 4, Kontraband, The Residue, and at least 50 incredible features with a who’s-who of the underground’s finest

6. Stove God Cook$

No one saw this coming....well, maybe Roc Marciano, Lord Jamar, Busta Rhymes and a few more NYC heads in the know - but I guarantee you, no one else saw the Stove God coming!

Bar for bar, no MC owned more rewind-worthy rap quotables in 2020 than Stove God Cook$. Dropping a solo debut with VERY little fanfare and zero features (apart from the steady, reliable guidance of Roc Marciano - low key one of hip-hop’s most reliable producers), a slow bubbling word of mouth campaign on social media eventually got Stove God verses exposed to more and more high profile ears. Such a grass roots campaign is rarely seen...I mean, a rap album slowly becoming a critical darling simply off the strength of more and more random folks discovering the music and Tweeting about it, as opposed to the buzz being calculated before the product??? It feels almost too good to be true these days, as early reviews of Reasonable Drought typically lead with something along the lines of, “hey, have you heard of this album? I have no idea who this is, but it is 🔥🔥🔥”

It has often been said that Roc Marciano has a lot of “sons” in the game, implying that Roc Marci gave birth to a style that a whole generation of underground MCs run with today. So it’s ironic (or perhaps highly appropriate?) that the next level of progression for Roc might be to have a protege, a young Jedi to carry on the tradition on Roc’s own terms, and become the next new star to be embraced by the old heads. But Stove God isn’t a clone of Roc, or anyone else, he’s simply one of the most exciting artists to hit the NYC underground in a generation. Everything from his word choice, to his fresh references and sense of humor, to his delivery and the way he structures his verses, feels like a collection of “firsts”, there’s simply no one sounding like him. And if his work in 2020 is any indication, he will continue to be in a league of his own for years to come.

Best Evidence: Reasonable Drought, spotlight snatching features alongside Roc Marciano and Griselda’s finest

7. Lil Baby

Once viewed by some as just another “Lil”, Lil Baby had been rollin’ coming into 2020, but by the end of 2020 it’s clear that he has arrived at the forefront of rap music’s most reliable hitmakers right now.

A must-have feature on any rap album reaching for max exposure, Lil Baby’s dexterous flow, charisma, and pen that is significantly sharper than early reports indicated, made him one of the few shining stars in 2020 to consistently deliver good rap music to what in any other year would have been considered smash hits in any club.

What makes Lil Baby’s music standout is that he could easily be a “cookie cutter” MC, phoning in verse after verse just to get another check, but instead he continues to bring it - trying to squeeze in an extra catchy lyric, maybe flow in a way that breaks up a verse to make it stand out from the pack a little more - and even when he is featured over cookie cutter beats that sound like every other trap inspired beats that came before it, Baby seems eager to prove something. I think that’s what I like about him - he’s on a short list of mainstream-bred Young Thug disciples that seem to really want to put the work in to becoming one of the greats.

Best Evidence: I mean...did any rap star have more songs in circulation this year? Dude was everywhere, but “The Bigger Picture” got his name officially into the lyricist conversation (even though personally I don’t even think it’s one of his more impressive records - at least not stylistically)

8. Westside Gunn

No one denies that the Griselda Records team had a banner year, yet somehow the vocal leader of the group managed to drop a handful of dope projects without receiving credit for being a great MC in his own right. Great artist, great album curator, great business man - sure, but great MC?? That credit is rarely given to the FLYGOD. He might not even understand how natural he is as a solo MC, waxing unpredictable flows and half-bars that stick in your mind in place of catchy hooks or predictable song structure. He might call himself an artist first, but I still call him one of the most prolific rappers today (regardless of whether he retires after the ball drops).

I can’t believe I have to tell rap fans this in the year 2020...but......you all know that message and punchlines are just part of the art of rapping, right...and not the only thing that defines who is a dope MC and who isn’t?? Play any solo cut from Westside Gunn and filter out the “doot-doot-doots” and stream of conscious hooks and what you are left with is one of the most distinctive voices in rap music, attempting off-kilter flows and phrases over some of the most impressive production in rap music today, and to me that sounds like my kind of rap music. What the Buffalo floor general lacks in diversity of subject matter he makes up for with a relentless imagination.

That’s why it’s not all that surprising to me that Westside Gunn enjoyed more mainstream attention in 2020 than he ever has before. All he needed was a window of exposure and he certainly capitalized on it, pitching his sound and his vision in all the right places, without compromising his style or vacating his lane. So strictly as a MC, I would consider him the Young Thug of the east coast underground scene, and if 2020 does turn out to be his final year of recording solo projects, I am thankful that he already has a long list of quality projects with high replay value to revisit again and again. But don’t wait - give this man his flowers now.

Best Evidence: “Euro Step”, “Rebirth”, “327″, “Shawn vs. Flair”, “Michael Irvin”, and YES he even had a more than worthy verse on “$500 Ounces” alongside Freddie Gibbs and Roc Marciano

9. Benny the Butcher

Who else is more reliable to deliver a dope feature verse than Benny?

By now you must be muttering at least a few things about me, so let me just make two points: YES, I am a big fan of Griselda records, but NO I do not consider that an unreasonable bias because even on paper according to a large variety of sources, it’s clear that Conway, Boldy James, Westside Gunn and Benny are true specialists when it comes to the quality of the work they distribute. Its not a fluke or a trend, they’re just that good at what they do...I have been saying this for almost 5 years now, but in 2020 the rest of you sleepy heads finally just stopped hitting snooze.

Benny the Butcher already possesses the writing capacity, attention to detail, and skills of observation/personal reflection to put himself within special company as one of the nicest pens in the business today. But in 2020, he dialed things up even higher...or perhaps word of mouth just finally caught up with the rest of his peers? The tribute to the classic Roc-A-Fella era that was his Burden of Proof project with Hit-Boy helped expose Benny to a much larger audience, and it has been beautiful to see so many more folks quoting and sharing his lyrics on Twitter, because I recall when he had about the same amount of Followers that I do, because it wasn’t all that long ago (I just hope they go back to experience all of his prior work - I’m still partial to his incredible verses on “Shower Shoe Lords” and “Pissy Work”)!

In my not so humble opinion, I do think some of the more dramatic pomp and circumstance on the BOP album was more suited to a Rick Ross or Meek Mill than Benny, so I’m actually more excited to hear what Benny has in store for 2021. He truly sounds at his best over more minimalistic production that lets his lyrics fill the spotlight...but still, tracks like “Timeless” and “Legend” do remind me of some of my favorite moments from old JAY-Z albums...blasphemous, maybe, but true.

A shot to the leg last month seems to have done nothing to slow his momentum, so if you didn’t board the bandwagon by now, you are inexcusably late.

Best Evidence: Burden of Proof, mercilessly slaughtering every verse on every Griselda projects, and a ton of show-stealing features

10. Drakeo the Ruler

What a journey it's been for the L.A. rising star.

Flexing a penchant for placing local slang into his music and delivering dark verses with a clear sense of humor, it's easy to see the appeal of Drakeo's style. If Thank You For Using GTL was an inspiring attempt to do anything possible to keep his buzz going (in that case, recording his verses over a prison phone), the quick release of We Know The Truth shortly after he regained his freedom seems to have given him a 50 Cent-esque teflon aura at the moment.

But this is about more than just Drakeo himself, it’s about what he represented before incarceration, and what he represents now. As one of the more visible forces in a new generation of west coast hip-hop, Drakeo was a few key features away from exploding onto the national scene. Now after surviving his ordeal, likely with a great deal more to write about, his ceiling has only been raised - and along with his growth potential, so rises the potential for the current rap scene out in L.A. right now. Mark my words: by this time next year Drakeo’s flow will be one of the most flagrantly jacked flows in rap music coast to coast.

A sincere welcome home from the rap world, Drakeo the Ruler. Hopefully the worst is now behind you. 🙏

Best Evidence: We Know The Truth, Free Drakeo, Thank You For Using GTL

*Honorable Mentions*:

Che Noir, Ka, Ransom, Billy Woods, Royce Da 5′9″, Jay Electronica, Fly Anakin, Curren$y, Lil Uzi Vert, Roc Marciano, Skyzoo, Black Thought, Tee Grizzley, Your Old Droog, Flee Lord, Lil Wayne

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 years ago

Text

summertime sadness .5.

work day

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (fingering)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.

Summary: Loki adds to your workload.

Note: Right, here we go, here we go, here go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Sorry, minor detour there but are we ready for the darkness? Y'all hold onto your panties. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

You didn’t sleep much. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene flashed behind your eyelids. Loki standing over you, the image on his phone, his hand on your chin. And then you thought of Bucky. It was hard not to; your phone buzzed all night as you ignored his messages. Steve’s too. It had finally caught up to you and it felt worse than you could imagine. A man you admired thought you nothing more than a floozy. Well, maybe you were.

Saturday shone through your window and you rolled over. You were exhausted; mentally, emotionally. Your hours were spent reprimanding yourself. Going over all your mistakes; every single choice that had led to such disaster. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You moved slowly, your body cramped from the tension.

The grind of your coffee machine filled the apartment as you sat at your desk. A mark of your guilt. A gift from one illicit lover; another having defiled you a top it. A year ago, to think of all that had transpired, you would’ve been appalled. You were. You’d sold your integrity for fleeting pleasures. You felt cheated. By yourself more than any.

You filled a mug and grabbed your phone from beside your bed. You hadn’t looked at it since you laid down the night before. Missed calls, unanswered texts, unread emails. You answered Bucky first, a simple ‘I wasn’t feeling well. Sorry.’ Besides, he had plans with Tanya, or was busy dodging her.

You texted the same to Steve and his response was swift. Your phone vibrated as his ID flashed across the screen and you answered the call after several rings. You were weak, breathless.

“Hey,” You said quietly and sipped your coffee.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked.

“Fine,” You lied poorly. “Work’s kept me busy and… I guess it’s gotten ahead of me.”

“Oh,” He uttered. “Any plans today?”

“Rest,” You shrugged and sat back in your chair. “After I sort through all my work emails and catch up.”

“Bucky?” He asked.

“I… I’m tired.” You grumbled. “I… need a break.”

“I’m sure work would understand if you took a day to yourself.” Steve said.

“No, no, I can’t do that,” You said suddenly. “I wasn’t talking about work.”

“What do you--”

“You shouldn’t be calling me. You should call Kylie. See how she’s doing.” You interrupted. “And Bucky should worry about his students. About marking and whatever. And I need to think about myself and my job.” You stood and paced around the small space of your apartment. “I’m sorry but… you said it yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, so I’m going to be selfish and think about my future because fucking old men isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

You hung up before he could respond. And then your heart sank. Why had you said that? It all had spilled from you so quickly. You cringed and your phone began to buzz again. It was Steve. You let out a shaky breath and dismissed the call. You set your phone to do not disturb’ and tossed it on your bed. Maybe your words were rash but it didn’t make them any less true.

💋

Monday. You walked into Adder Press with a pit in your stomach. You were jittery from more than your morning coffee. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly as you passed Stacey. Everything around you seemed distant, obscured by the haze that fell over you. You sat at your desk, numb, and began to set out your stuff as you always did. In a desperate attempt to make it all feel normal again.

As you waited for your computer to boot, you felt a subtly weight on the back of your chair. You looked up at Loki as he gripped the chair and smirked down at you. You blanched and your pen slipped from your hand. He bent to grab it before you could and as he rose, he dragged the lid against your leg. He held it out and you snatched it from him.

“Morning meeting in five,” He said as he stood before you. “Then I wanted to go over layout with you. A useful lesson if you ever hope to be anything more than a freelancer. You have to have a good eye… for detail.”

You gulped and nodded. “Yes, okay, yeah.” You set the pen down on your desk. “Five minutes.”

He winked and left you there to stew in your shame. You glanced around but no one else seemed to notice your tense interaction. They were all too concerned with their own schedules, their own presence at the meeting. Really, who cared much about the summer intern?

You were antsy as you walked into the conference room. You hid between Vanessa, a political pundit, and Jory, who covered local business stories. Loki sat near the head of the table as the marketing head went over the final prints of the Pride issue. You folded your hands before you but couldn’t concentrate.

Your eyes wandered from the powerpoint and you found the editor-in-chief peering over at you. Another sinister grin sent a chill through you. You looked back to the screen and prayed for the day to go quickly. Your heart felt as if it would explode.

When you broke out, you dragged your feet and were the last out of the room. You lingered at your desk as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Loki’s office beckoned to you ominously. He stood in the doorway watching you; waiting for you. You neared him as his lips curled.

He shut the door and you jumped at the click. He brushed past you before he rounded his desk. He pulled a chair with him and placed it beside his. He waved you over. You took a breath and crossed to him. As you sat, he pinched your ass and you pressed your lips together to keep from yelping.

His hand settled on your thigh as his other moved his mouse. He opened a page from last month’s issue and kept his eyes on the screen as he kneaded your leg. “We’ll go over composition. How to draw the reader’s eye and using layout to enhance your words.”

You nodded stiffly and shakily opened your notebook. He kept his hand on your thigh as you place the book on his desk and uncapped your pen. He circled the title with his cursor, entirely unfazed by your discomfort. His fingers slipped closer to your pelvis.

“Titles are easy but you’ll want to position them according to article type as well. Is it an editorial? Review? Reflective?” He continued. “Now, most editors would leave this to marketing and such but… I try to be hands on with every aspect of my business. My seal is on every page, ever word, that goes out.”

You scribbled down a jumble of words as his hand slid between your thighs and he squeezed. You flinched and he let out a soft chuckle under his breath. You kept your wide eyes on the monitor and he carried on his lesson. His hand never quite reaching its target. He was teasing you. Asserting the new power he held over you.

When he finished his spiel, he drew away and turned his chair to face you. His legs were far apart and you tried not to look at the obvious bulge in his pants. You kept your head down as you slipped your notebook down onto your lap.

“I’ve got an important lunch date tomorrow,” He said. “I should like you to accompany me, darling.”

You peeked up at him. “Okay.”

“Sceptre Press is looking to expand its mediums. The director of Celestial has agreed to discuss a partnership.” He said coolly.

“Oh?” You breathed. “They… do podcasts?”

“Mostly,” He confirmed. “But, my dear, do wear something nice. A skirt.”

You crossed your legs. Your straight-cut pants felt thin enough. “Alright.”

“No panties.” He licked his lips. “Our little secret… well, another one, yeah?”

“Okay.” You said. You bit down and your pen rolled out of your grasp once more.

His eyes followed the pen and flicked back to you. “Well, go on,” He mused. “Very… clumsy today.”

You bent to retrieve your pen and he caught the back of your head. He held you there and rolled his chair closer so that his lap was only inches from your face. He snickered as you tried to pull away but quickly gave up. His other hand stretched over his crotch and he grasped his erection through the thin fabric of his trousers.

“I could make you do it right now,” He slithered. “Hmm?”

“Yes,” You uttered.

“I’m tempted,” He rubbed himself and shifted his hand as he pushed you closer. “Kiss it.” You closed your eyes and kissed his bulge. He shivered and let you go. You sat up, dizzy, and he grinned at you. “Not yet.” He preened. “But I do have to take care of this…” He ran his hand across his lap again. “So if you would excuse me. I am certain you have work to catch up on.”

You stood and back away slowly. “Yes, sir.” You turned as you rounded the desk.

“Sir? I like that,” He called from behind you as you neared the door. “Oh, darling, one more thing.”

You spun back to him and shielded your chest with your notebook. “Yes?”

“I’ll need some inspiration so before you sit down, go to the lav and take a nice photo for me.” He made a show of unzipping his pants behind his desk. “I bet you’re wearing a sweet little white bra, aren’t you? Maybe a precious pink number?”

Your throat tightened as you stared back at him. “Okay.” You forced out. “Is that all?”

“For now,” He shooed you away with a wave of his fingers. “As you will.”

💋

You had few skirts to choose from. You settled on a lavender one that ended just above your knees. With it, you wore a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. It wasn’t as enticing as any other outfit you owned; which was not at all. Perhaps that would work in your favour.

When you arrived at the bistro, Loki waved you ahead of him as you followed the hostess to your booth. You slid across the bench first and he was close behind. He took out his phone and checked it before he set it face down on the table. He asked for water and nothing else.

Your leg shook under the table nervously. He grabbed your thigh to still you. The waitress returned and he thanked her, his hand still on your leg. When she departed, his fingers slowly gathered your skirt. You reached to pull it back and he tssked.

“Our associate has informed me she’s running late.” He grinned. “About twenty minutes or so.” You squirmed as his hand slipped beneath your hem. “I think we can fill our time accordingly.”

“L--Mr. Laufeyson,” You gasped. “Someone might see.”

“They’d have to be watching us very closely,” He leaned against you as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh. “Now,” He shoved his hand between your legs roughly. “Let’s have some fun, darling.”

You parted your legs reluctantly and he tickled along your cunt. You grabbed the edge of the table and your eyes searched frantically. The other diners were occupied with their own meals, their own company. You felt as invisible as you had back at the office. He rubbed you slowly. He lifted his glass with his other hand as he continued.

“After our meeting, I think we’ll head back to the office and call a conference. We’ll need ideas for prospective podcasts,” He swirled his fingertips and you let out a long breath between your teeth. “Of course, if this all goes to plan.”

You whimpered as you felt yourself getting wet. His fingers glided easily along your folds as he spread your arousal. You planted your elbow on the table and held your chin as you bit your lip. Mortified, you tried to hide your face.

“Uh uh,” He grabbed your wrist and shoved it down as his fingers dipped inside you. “Look at me.”

You leaned back against the booth as you looked over at him. He smirked as he moved his fingers steadily in and out of you. He pressed his palm to your clit and the sensation made your legs shake again.

“Is this what you like? Sneaking around?” He taunted. “Is this what he does, hmm? Or maybe he bends you over his desk?”

“Mr. Lauf--” You swallowed down a moan and clapped your hand over your mouth.

“I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it,” He sped up and your thighs squeezed his hand. “Are you going to cum? Here in front of everyone? In the middle of this restaurant?”

Your eyes rounded and you grabbed his shoulder pleadingly. You couldn’t speak, afraid you would cry out instead.

“You like being a naughty little girl, don’t you?” He curled his fingers and you heard a subtle squelch as your walls twitched around him.

You bared your teeth and latched onto his arm. You rocked your hips without thinking as you came. You let out a shuddery breath and he slid his fingers out of your cunt, sure to drag them along your folds. He untangled his arm from your grasp and you fell back against the seat and pushed down your skirt.

He raised his hand and ran his wet fingers over your lips. He pressed against your mouth until you opened it. He stared into your eyes as he made you suck your own cum off his knuckles. He withdrew them and used a napkin to wipe away your saliva.

“It is a pity, however, that this lunch should set you behind, darling,” He crossed his legs and drank from his water again. “You will have to stay late tonight… to catch up.”

“Yes, sir,” You ceded.

He smirked and looked around. A moment of silence before he perked up and stood. He buttoned his jacket so it hid his bulge and greeted the tall woman who approached you. He shook her hand with the same one he’d just had between your legs. You stood in kind. Your legs felt weak.

“Valerie,” He purred. “Thank you for fitting us in today.”

“Us?” She looked between you. “And sorry about the delay. Traffic was… traffic.”

“My intern,” He introduced you by name, “She’s shadowing me for the day. To get an idea of the business and all its little quirks.”

You shook her hand and you sat down as she did the same. The server was quick to appear and offer you menus. You eagerly took yours, hoping to hide behind it for the rest of the meal. Especially as that familiar and irresistible tingle nestled in your core.

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portela-diez · 3 years ago

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Draft Ratings - Fantasy EPL 2021

Yes, spent way too much time on this. But it had to be done.

Draft Rating: C+

- Overview: Big Greenery. The name says it all. Bradley AKA “Ted Lasso” went for power with this year’s draft. Mr. Lasso may have found a loophole in the current fantasy format and will surely look to win his key battles in the air. With the likes of Van Dijk, Wan B, Tyrone Mings, Declan, Bissouma, Jannik, and the monstrous Benteke, you know that racking the 0.5’s Aerial Duels will occur week in and week out. The towering prowess of the squad may nod a couple baggers, but will certainly score a few own goals. However, it must be said, do not underestimate the man that may consider “football” his 5th favorite sport to watch and made the 2015 playoffs final.

- Threat: Benteke

- Sleeper: Mbuemo (hate saying that word)

- Last remark: Healthy status of the entire squad is the only reason there is (+) tailing the C rating.

Draft Rating: B-

- Overview: You would think being an Arsenal fan, Chasqui would hedge his bets, learn from past mistakes, and keep Arsenal picks to a minimum. But it seems like the true gunner spirit can never be suppressed. Nor relied on. Despite having the best defender in the league, this squad seems to lack depth and the almighty 90-minute studs. What IS going for him, though, is his new team name. With an updated name like Chasqui, and a fresh tattoo to match, this manager will never let a shitty draft ruin his year!

- Threat: Emi Martinez

- Sleeper: Ivan Toney

- Last remark: Chasqui, the Peruvian messenger will surely have a message for me after this gets published.

Draft Rating: A

- Overview: This team may have it all. His Kinko’s cheat sheet print out may have proven to be a wise move. Unlike Chasqui, Jon Fryer wants to improve on previous historical mishaps. Did he choose Man City players? Most definitely. But, did he pick the seemingly obvious Cityzen starters this year? Absolutely, mate. On top of that, the dark tabloid freaks still say HurriKANE has a chance at wearing his colors this year. Either way, his #1 pick guarantees goals. With a sneaker Shaw #2 pick, a late Auba #5 pick, and even a #9 Wilson pick, Jon Fryer may have decent season. However, wildcard Jonnie may need to be wary of the new FAAB spending budget. He has the tendencies to go all in, so let’s hope City doesn’t sign anyone else during the transfer window close, for his own sake.

- Threat: Harry Kane

- Sleeper: Milot Rashica

- Last remark: Please get a new team name. Barn!

Draft Rating: B+

- Overview: jvdV has 2 laws in managerial handbook: (1) Being the staunch defender that he is in REAL life, he will always draft 6 defenders. And there will always be a Ben Mee type player somewhere in there focalizing his back line. (2) Allan Saint Maximin and Richarlison belong to him. This man does not care if he picks them up in 2nd and 3rd round. They are his, do not even attempt to trade. The day that jvdV does not get to manage this pair, the world may slowly stop spinning, and begin spinning backwards.

- Threat: Romelu Lukaku

- Sleeper: None (lol)

- Last remark: The Vardy Party is always on, it never stops.

Draft Rating: B-

- Overview: Welcome to the league Phil! Now let’s talk about Cesc. The “Brentford” of the league, this wiz have may have a novato stamp on his forehead, but he surely has the tendency to turn his analytical art into a full blown legendary Leeds squad, capable of knocking down the top dawgs. With his Bundesliga 2 turtleneck, his never-before-seen data spreadsheet, and his Mount/Coufal/Harrison picks, this manager does not seem like he is here to mess about. Upon squad review, gaps exist. So much so, that at the time of this notation, he has already dropped 4 players. Best of luck to the Welsh gentleman!

- Threat: Mason Mount

- Sleeper: Leon Bailey

- Last remark: No one tell him that he has to actually wake up sometimes early on weekends, cuz that boy can sleep!

Draft Rating: A+

- Overview: Ellis got the Poodle Magic that every manager desires on draft day. Despite drafting a potentially injury-ridden Eze (that he was completely blind to), the team takes the cake from the sheer looks of it. The best pundits will tell you to snatch a premier defender in the 1st couple rounds, but the lad from Shrewsbury selfishly robbed all with 2, followed by a Werner and Rashford 5th / 6th round out. On top of all that, he commendably offered Jimenez a spot on his team. Not only a great manager, but charitable. Hats off.

- Threat: Thomas Soucek

- Sleeper: Patson Daka

- Last remark: Hopefully the Wolves’ wingbacks don’t whip in too many crosses to the Mexi talisman. Feet only.

Draft Rating: C

- Overview: Little did we know but looks like Evan may have some long-lost family in Leeds! That, or, he has a lot of trust in Bielsa. With 4 players from Leeds, and interestingly so, this team may have a similar level of volatility. A quick peek at the crystal ball will tell you that this team’s future has lots of massive point hauls with demanding victories, surely, but the hangovers could be worse, just like mine from yesterday’s draft. With a couple depth tweaks, the team may take him out from beneath the bottom of the barrel.

- Threat: Jack Grealish (or Chris Wood, actually)

- Sleeper: Kalvin Philips

- Last remark: If you don’t get a couple quick victories and bounce from last season, then you may always walk alone.

Draft Rating: A-

- Overview: Sonless is no longer sonless. Last season proved to be difficult without his star man, so he’s gone the extra mile this year to snatch him quick and change his luck. The question is… how will his #1 pick perform if his lethal strike partner vanishes off to another club? Time will tell. Until then, his defensive moves were that of an astute gaffer. His midfield will demand set plays and minutes. And his attack is good enough to pop him into the upper half off the table.

- Threat: Son

- Sleeper: Ibrahima Konate

- Last remark: Lewis Dunk is a world class defender. Anyone that disagrees is an imposter.

Draft Rating: A-

- Overview: Some may say he has the advantage living 10 hours ahead in Tel Aviv, where he gets to drink pints during matches without remorse under the shadows of the moon, compared to the rest of us that have to feel the wrath of our girlfriends hearing our 6AM Saturday alarm clocks, but either way, he is the reigning champ with the #1 pick. Anyone with Bruno Fernandes is destined for greatness. It’s just the way it is. Throw in the likes of the Tarkowski commander, the rough diamond of Benrama, and a triggering Leicester midfield, and this gaffa may be super gluing his hands to the imaginary cup.

- Threat: Bruno Fernandes

- Sleeper: Adam Armstrong

- Last remark: Will the Zern ever give up on Hudson Odoi to make his big splash? Don’t stay awake for this one!

Draft Rating: A+

- Overview: The fact of the matter is gold talks. Even though he is undoubtedly the best fantasy manager, he has yet to get 1st place. EVER. Call it the commissioner’s curse. But this year, things are different. You know why? Because Messi left Barcelona. This will crack the plates, shift the fault lines, and force his misfortunes to flip over into luck. Somehow, with 4th pick, he landed last years PFA player of the year, KDB. Likewise with a 11th Ziyech pick. That already has to mean something. The only reason this rating did not get A++, is because his team may be heavily relying on some unknown sleepers. That, and he never picks a solid backline, which directly translates to his lack of defending in REAL life. But that’s just his game!

- Threat: KDB

- Sleeper: Cucho Hernandez

- Last remark: If he were to rely less on players that speak Latin-rooted languages, then he may actually have a chance.

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