#ptsd thoughts

[borderlineangel222]

and suddenly, again, I feel really tired, as if the world is draining me of everything i ever had

[psychocitysblog]

I really want to kill what’s inside of my head. I hate living like this day after day. Just kill me instead.

[spookietrex]

Here's the thing with my trauma: yeah, it's uncomfortable. Most adults that survived horribly abusive childhoods have uncomfortable stories. My therapist and I regularly comment that my life could have been a true crime documentary with all the crimes and victimization that happened to me. But just because I get graphic with the details and they make you uncomfortable or you don't believe that someone would do something as fucked up as what I'm telling you, you don't get to tell me it didn't happen. Because guess what it did. I did live in a house that was worse than most of the houses on Hoarders where there was regular animal feces. I did live in a house where my mother regularly physically abused me AND gaslit me into thinking I couldn't do anything about it. I was severely sexually abused in a number of vile and disgusting ways. Just because your mind can't imagine the depravity that someone else has been through doesn't mean you get to deny their existence.

Especially if I've already been diagnosed by multiple mental health professionals with PTSD. You don't get to say that my trauma isn't real or it didn't happen because it was just another Tuesday for you.

[apathetic-outsider]

Ptsd (post-traumatic stress disorder) : feels like every age you look back on was linked to a piece of major trauma.

[whiningpurrs]

I just want to stop feeling tired, I want to be taken care of without third party interests, I want pure love

[loislaina]

"Combat programming is easy. Social programming, not so much."

"It's the same for sentients."

--Peebee and Jaal

I relate to this so hard.

[borderlineangel222]

should i over explain myself or remain misunderstood

[psychocitysblog]

Why does depression have to take over my body? I feel so dead.

[radrecovery]

You have to let her go,

You have to let who you thought you were suppose to be go. It wasn’t your fault, but it’s holding you back. You can’t go back ever, so stop looking back. Take as long as you need to heal, But you have to let her go. You’ve to create someone new, that part of you is dead now. Stop watering her.

[snelbies]

now i don’t usually post things like this, i hate the “youre so brave because you survived” sentiment because i was not brave and i did not survive. i was afraid and scared and dying and my body remembers when i don’t. discounting that is unfair to my struggles. the sentiment is there but do not tell me i survived when the only thing surviving about me is my heart beating

[nerdby]

Ok, I was a little off. This show isn't the anti-Totally Spies.

If anything Buffy Summers seems like an evangelical Kim Possible. But mocking nerdy girls isn't any better than mocking Valley girls.

At least that's what I can gather from the first episode with the whole underground Christian rave party and Luke going on about how the master will inherent the earth and the devil will come to town. And does it bother anyone else that Angel is like forty and giving a SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD girl presents after being caught stalking her???

Did I mention that Angel is one of Buffy's infamous love interests???? Which makes the aforementioned weirdness even more uncomfortable😣

I'm kinda triggered right now, not gonna lie. Cause I'm getting some pretty strong anti-Paganism vibes from this first episode. But can the show really be called anti-Pagan if its based off of vampire mythology which is rooted in Christianity??? Or at least it is in the Western world -- there are some pretty cool Asian mythologies about vampires or blood-sucking creatures.

By the way, I'm also a Pagan witch, so if you're wondering why I'm just a little upset that would be why.

So I am gonna take a pause and just hold off on that second episode. Cause I need a moment to process and decompress before I try to deal with anymore potentially rightwing fearmongering bullshit. That crap was everywhere in the 90s courtesy of Satanic Panic. And, no, I'm not being dramatic -- anyone who tells you Pagans don't face discrimination is extremely ignorant.

Wiccans weren't even allowed to have pentacles on tombstones until like 2008 and it wasn't until the 2010s that pentacles were allowed in most schools in the US. I'm not a Wiccan but I do emphasize with them cause that is some grade-A Christofascist bullshit.

This is all googleable, by the way.

[whiningpurrs]

I'm tired, I want to sleep I don't want to scream, I wanted to be truly respected and loved, what's wrong with me that no one can treat me like a human being ?

[loislaina]

one thing i find people rarely talk about regarding trauma is how utterly *old* it makes you feel. im 34 and mentally/emotionally i feel like im a thousand years old most days. (other days i feel like a tall child but that's probably beause the trauma happened in childhood, my inner child acting out the past or whatever). physically i have very little energy, and almost zero motivation. there are days when i don't eat or sleep or even go to the bathroom unless i really need to. these symptoms have gotten better as ive healed but im still not up to a hundred percent, and there's no way i'll ever be the same person as before. but that last part is okay, because being alive means inherent change, and we all change as we grow... its just that some of us change in more severe ways sometimes

[geeklife314]

Does anyone else hate the portrayal of therapy in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier? Bucky’s therapist is very passive aggressive and has a strict tone with him the whole time. No sympathy and barely any helpful insights. She even calls him pathetic for not having more friends. The MCU wasted an opportunity to advocate for mental health treatments like DBT and others. If they were going to show such a shit representation of therapy, they should have made it clear that the government only sent him to therapy to keep tabs on his whereabouts. Otherwise- this is just shit representation.

Bucky deserved better his whole life. He definitely deserved better in his healing process.

I have PTSD and I know that therapy is one of the things that has allowed me to keep living. Yes, it’s extremely hard. Yes, you have to find the right therapist for you. Hell, I’ve had to bounce from 3 already and that’s not including introduction sessions with others.

I just- I really wish there was better representation of people’s healing journeys.

[borderlineangel222]

i never felt loved by my family which is why i always searched for it in the worst places because when you’re about to die of thirst, even a drop of poison tastes like heaven.

[psychocitysblog]

I wish I knew someone who was going through the same that I am. But how am I supposed to talk about it with anyone without sounding like a psychopath?