#protect me from all harm.
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stupid as shit that i can be upset by anything, actually, but wow it turns out the moment you are not in control of what you’re getting into, it goes poorly very fast.
#so i should be in control of everything all the time. this is a reasonable expectation of myself and the world i interact with and will#protect me from all harm.#okay no these posts probably qualify for#vent#fucks sake im upset about bad warnings and im failing my own lackluster tagging system while im at it. christ.
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The fact that Xie Lian is often unable to hide his pain from Hua Cheng, like when there's a needle stuck in his foot, is to me what shows most how deep their love for each other goes.
Xie Lian feels so safe with Hua Cheng, so understood, respected and loved, that even his body fully knows it and is unable to hide anything from Hua Cheng because it doesn't feel the need to.
#and this obviously applies to things other than physical pain as well!#i love hua cheng so much. his respect for xie lian's pain means everything to me#and i love that he's willing to go 'against' xie lian if that's what's necessary to protect him from getting harmed#especially because that isn't something hua cheng always likes to do#catching myself automatically unmasking that i'm in pain around certain people (or even almost being unable to mask it all)#is one of the best feelings in the world to me and i loved seeing that in tgcf so much!#i could talk about the topic of pain in tgcf and cry about hualian all day lmao#tgcf#tgcf thoughts#tgcf spoilers#heaven official's blessing#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#my thoughts#cw pain#cw physical pain#cw chronic pain#cw injury
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godddddddddddd the vibes/agonizing Cinematique Parallels & Contrasts between taash and a romanced lucanis when harding sacrifices herself are just. unspeakable. and excruciating. they keep going through the same experiences, but taash repeatedly watches lucanis get back what he thought he'd lost, disbelievingly, in ways he would never have dared to hope for in his wildest dreams if it had even occurred to him to do so or have those. while they just. don't. nothing ever comes back for them. lucanis gets his tama back he gets rook back he even gets to keep his cousin in some fashion any way it shakes out. and how on earth could you ever begrudge him any of that for even a moment, especially if you had to see his eyes every day while rook was gone. but also here you stand with your empty hands and your burned-out ruin of a heart with nothing to show for all your love but grief and ash. what do you say to each other after something that. what could you possibly say to each other. what the fuck. what the hell.
there are some incredibly painful and difficult things that can happen between all these people even when no one is acting with anything but the best of intentions every step of the way, and it's such a good theme that keeps breaking through in the writing in this game. it doesn't matter if it's true (because of course it isn't, it's just an illogical but understandable emotional reaction), the guilty feeling that your happiness is at the expense of the happiness of someone else you care about is always lurking. we are inextricably linked. for good, and for ill. joy and regret unavoidably intertwined -- you don't get one fully without the other. and taash truly gets. mostly regret, depending on what you do. jesus christ.
also this is why I don't mind the 'lack of conflict' between the main cast at all. that's the fucking point. horrible and heartwrenching things can still happen between people without active malice or harmful intentions or even fundamental disagreements ever entering into it at all. isn't that awful? isn't that painful to sit with? that you can mean no harm and still cause it, even -- sometimes especially -- to people you love? doesn't it fill you with a very specific kind of dread that actions however well-intentioned have consequences you couldn't have forseen but have to live with now anyway and you won't always be the one to pay the price; that's not under your control?
#there's a protective hand held over lucanis dellamorte in this universe (it's me. that's my hand. shielding him from all harm)#I can't believe how badly I feel like I've fucked taash over I'm in tears I'm so stupidly sorry!!!!!!#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#taash#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#obviously if you don't save treviso and davrin sacrifices himself... completely different story. completely different reflections.#and that rocks so severely. they're all thematically interlocked they've got undercurrents that overlap
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it is quite funny to me as someone who studies philosophy and has had to have the conversations that bh and ludinus have been having many times over and often with people who like ludinus do not have any reading comprehension and truly like. the notion of “this shouldn’t exist” is almost always one that comes up regardless of whether it’s a discussion on the metaphysics of a potential God(s) or divinity, high political powers, or vehicles of systemic oppression. and what anyone who cares about people more than their ideals (even, sometimes, ideals that started out being about people but quickly come to be about the ideals themselves) realizes very quickly in a philosophical discussion about what should and shouldn’t exist is that it does not matter if what you’ve decided ‘shouldn’t’ exist does in fact already exist. like that tends to be the difference between sociopolitical philosophy that actually has teeth and substance in the world — a willingness to engage with the world as it is, not as it should be. because you can have the perfect image of a just and wonderful future world, but if you do not at every step reckon with the unjust world from which you are aiming at that future, you’re doing nothing. ideals are helpful because they aim us toward goals and hopes, but they’re nothing without a reality that grounds them.
and so people like ludinus, who in the real world would play the role of a graduate student with critical thinking skills that make every professor he comes across question how he arrived at his level of study, they don’t have Wrong ideals, there’s obviously plenty of reasons why an exandria without gods might in fact be a better place for mortals (there are also many Many reasons why it would not). but ludinus has also chosen his ideals to weigh heavier than the mortals he claims to uphold them with. i think ashton is also interesting, because i think a lot of their positions have a fun fluctuation between being ideal focused and person focused, where sometimes they’re focused on how unfair life is in a very nihilistic position, and at other times they seem quite clear about how much ideals help no one if they’re not second to the desire to help others. and i think that made their role in the convo with ludinus in 102 especially interesting and irritating (but in a narratively fulfilling way). anyway, truly so fun watching ludinus argue with the amount of fallacies and undeserved confidence of like right wing first year students in an ethics class explaining how actually the ends justify the means and thanos had the right idea actually if it means no more starvation. get a grip old man.
#ludinus da'leth#cr3#critical role#cr spoilers#ashton greymoore#i don’t think ludinus is neat at all i think he’s fucking dumb as bricks and not even in an fun way#i do think he prompts interesting dynamics in the party though so he’s extremely valuable in the narrative#but like . ludinus is truly emblematic of exactly what brennan was talkin about when he was referencing#ursula k le guin and talking about how evil is often simple and good is endlessly complex#it is Easy. (which is not to say unwarranted) to look at your own pain and say Burn Down Everything That Caused It And Threatens to Do So#And Burn Everything If It Allows Me To Protect Myself From Being Harmed Ever Again#which is. both ludinus and most of the betrayers#it is much much harder to feel the desire to burn everything and still find something worth fighting for anyway . even if it’s just the#hope that you won’t have to burn everything .
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ik everybody thinks that "his face crumpled. "he hates me," he said. "all i do is love him, but he hates me, he just hates me, i don’t know why." is gonna be ty talking to dru but what if it’s julian????!?
#like dude that would be emotional as hell#bc all julian wants to do is protect them all from harm but this isn't up to him and his brother is heartbroken#and he can't do anything about it#and and -#anyways just saying it would be super emo if it was julian but ALSO i really REALLY love it being dru#bc that would mean those two are finally bonding with eachother and letting out their fears and i need that so (i mean /so/) freaking badly#but yeah this snippet causes me actual pain#<- and i mean that#like my heart just got all knotted up this scene (and in general series) will be my downfall#ty blackthorn#julian blackthorn#kit herondale#kit x ty#kitty#the last king of faerie#the wicked powers#tlkof#twp#tsc
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- Bruno Is Orange by Hop Along
#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun stampede spoilers#stampede spoilers#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#millions knives#trigun stampede episode 11#trigun stampede episode 11 spoilers#that line fucking haunts me and i finally have blorbos to attach them to#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#anyways listen to bruno is orange its actually about an interracial relationship and the difficulties of having one when#they were illegal in america#and this section is about protection from the outside world by harming the child so they cant have risky experiences#so yeah.#the whole song obv isnt really in line w trigun or these bitches but this specific line that echoes in my head all the time SO IS#bear.txt
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"love has always been the world's best secret ingredient" -> "I'd rather just get rid of them" Joshua kiryu
"there's only one way to stay alive in this shibuya: Trust your partner" -> "in a way, he's been alone all his life" Joshua Kiryu
#twewy#joshua kiryu#ahisoaihih where am I going with this how to express it....#also like. Just the whole of day 5's quizzes#Joshua LOVES people Joshua LOVES shibuya Joshua doesn't want to erase it#He's not a misanthrope!!! He wants to believe in people SO MUCH!#but. he's about ready to give up. He doesn't WANT to. He jumps at the chance for megumi to prove him wrong#aio;iejaoij cursed with being inarticulate.#And. Joshua's love in no way moves him to 'protect'. Or even stops him from he himself harming them... wordshard#he's a lil screwed up (affectionate)#he rewards his proxies for making the choices he himself does not (can not? will not?)#Joshua's willingness to erase shibuya being motivated in part to protect the rest of tokyo/japan/the world#Also like. Sota and nao. A part me wonders#well watching endless failures of the reapers game may sap his faith and being able to see those two partially reignited it#BUT#Sota and nao also feel like they're supposed to be so unextradordinary#I can't believe they're so much better than the previous plethora of players so hmm they shouldn't be so foreign to him#hmmm hmmm hmm endlessly fascinating#Originally I was thinking: well twewy was made for the ds partnership is mandated by hardware and not so much meant to be reflective of the#in game composer. But then in interviews where they were like 'early twewy was also based on team concept' before slimming it down to duo#More is said about 'alone all his life' Joshua running a game about partners than his metaphysical status ever could
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Druas and Eva
#my characters#they have an older brother who is v expressive and friendly and then they just do not emote#they are actually part of a different cast/group than oifil but its the exact same location and time and they do have some crossover#so druas has a coworker that is basically chris' adopted son (as karen and right view him at least)#and druas hears about luca being a lot reckless and with no self awareness so he recruits his dear sister eva#to help monitor luca (which luca hates) bc eva has military training and is good at going unnoticed#but when he tells eva to protect luca from anything that might harm him and then she sees them together#she kinda gets in front of luca and is like hey youre causing him distress which is bad for the mental health#and druas is like did you just call me a threat to him ?? and luca thinks THAT is actually hilarious and he likes eva now#but these two dont really interact with the other cast much - its mostly just luca that talks to the oifil peeps#i never designed the older brother or named him but theres just two blondes with no expression + their older brother who has all expression
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I often think about how the whole "two sides of the same coin" also applies to who lives and who dies. Merlin simply can not coexist with Arthur the way he is without absolutely destroying himself through his undying devotion. Of course, I'm not saying Arthur is a bad person. It's just that Merlin devoted himself so strongly to Arthur, and Arthur doesn't even notice it half the time, and because of that Merlin ends up giving up so much that he ends up a shell of his former self. We saw it over the course of the entire show. Two sides of the same coin also mean that they will forever be forced to be facing the opposite direction. Because otherwise they end up losing their sense of self to the other
#sometimes two sides of the same coin isnt a good thing#arthur needs to go through some HEAVY character development for us to even THINK about letting them live together#dont even get me started on the negative impacts merlin has on arthur#merlin kept arthur from changing and developing a proper opinion on magic that wasnt from his fathers indoctrination#which resulted in arthur contining to kill innocent people in the name of good#all because merlin didnt want to risk him getting hurt#merlin is so protective to the point it harms arthur#they are so toxic for eachother#i love it#meelin#bbc merlin#bbc merthur#merthur#arthur pendragon#merlin
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"even though we may take different paths, i am... still his little sister."
#PLATONIC!!!#brainrot ahead..#thought a little too hard abt sunday and robin literally being madoka and homura (AGAIN PLATONIC I NEED TO STRESS THIS)#sunday did EVERYTHING all for the sake of humanity and his sister.. he made countless mistakes to help her and even avenge her (alleged)#death and making himself worse? becoming order itself? hurting himself mentally? all for robin. all for His People#he became so obsessed with control and making sure everything went right but every single time thjngs found a way to backfire#so even though he was protecting robin it still caused her harm in the end bc of his own selfish desires.. literally homura..#and in the end? robin (madoka) saved him despite him trying to save Her. and it worked.#they did it all for the sake of each other and sunday accepts robins help despite wanting the upper hand because its his sister. he was#expecting to fall and die alone because its what his mindset was. he thought he deserved to fall and suffer. but robin saved him!!!#MADOHOMU DO EVERYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF EACH OTHER AND HOMURA HAS THE SELFISHNESS AND URGE TO SAVE MADOKA#AND IN THE END EVEN THOUGH HOMURA WANTED TO HELP HER SHE HURT MADOKA (SEPARATING MADOKAMI AND TEEN MADOKA IN REBELLION)#AND MADOKA SAVED HER FROM BECOMING A WITCH ANYWAY!! BECAUSE SHE LOVED HER!!!#they are such. ugh. platonic doomed sibling love thsy make me so GHHGJHG#my art#honkai star rail#hsr#penacony#sunbin#art#artists on tumblr#robin hsr#sunday hsr#hsr fanart#sunrobin#pmmm#madoka magica#third piece of art ive done with pmmm undertones? yep
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This pain will help you remember.
Zeng Li as SHEN MUYUE
THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI (2024)
#cdramaedit#cdrama#the legend of shen li#zeng li#与凤行#the world revolves and my favorite shots of the guilt weighs more and more#in wanting to protect beloved ah'li#her ward her disciple her child born not from her but reared bearing her family name nonetheless#muyue learns opposite of what is nature to their realm: clinging to farfetched hopes#killing me all this time was how she didn't even don plainsclothes#awaiting news from ruoya as if 'tis possible to demand back the shards of spear that should be returned to them#laughing crying how everyone else was telling how sus her holiness is and yet#all shen li could muster is the disbelief at the notion her holiness would harm her#(kinda did though by inflicting the water bodies trauma)#scared & anticipatory of how we reach the climax [aka mother fighting back!]
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Doomsday Cult Christians when the Doomsday Cult ideology causes Doomsday anxiety in their kids:
#I talked about it a lil on a different post but then I once again remember how my grandfather told me#that he believes that climate change is a thing that will harm the planet#but christians don't need to worry about it because you'll either die before it kills you and go to heaven#or you'll be protected from it and just live in the climate change ravaged world#watching the people around you suffer from it but magically being okay yourself#and he couldn't understand why that made me feel so much worse#he's also 82 so that could partially be it#and yes this is the same grandfather that made fun of me and our neighbors kid for attempting u know what#doomsday christians are so fucking terrifying#because they don't fear death in the wrong way if that makes sense#like they view this as the practice round of war before the spiritual war aka the rapture#so they feel like if people aren't suffering they aren't fighting and therefore insist on making people suffer#and the more you suffer the better heaven will feel or whatever#it's fuckin wild#even when I was a christian I was terrified of it all#ex christian#religious trauma
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Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.
He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!
Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.
I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.
#mha#my hero academia#endevour#mha dabi#mha endeavor#im sure im gonna get some flack for this because for some reason lots of people think that he should be redeemed but no???#im sorry guys i like villain redemption arcs as much as the next person and i understand being confused over#why so many people forgive other villains vs endeavor#but theres something about being in a place of power and influence and using that to harm and neglect your family and having EVERYONE#EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD PRETTY MUCH JUST LOOK AWAY AND SAY OH ITS NOT MY FAMILY THATS HIS BUISNESS#BETTER NOT GET INVOLVED IT'LL SORT ITSELF OUT#that just doesnt sit right with me whatsoever#ive liked plenty of villains who do horrible things but i can still see their good side because they have their henchman or their own family#or that one person who they care for and will protect because thats their heart#im saying that even though endeavor FEELS BAD he really just didnt have a heart or care for anyone but himself until hmm#oh! after he became the number one hero#and after he got a scar that humbled him#theres a reddit post where the op talks about how people soften him and are willing to forgive him but i think thats coming from people who#very very thankfully no shade did jot have to deal with anyone like that irl in any way#OR people who are less into stories and allegories again no shade and take characters at a more surface level#its just another read on the character which of course is obviously fine but please please understand why people will never forgive him#mha spoilers#its like especially hard to not hate him when you find out that dabi had his mothers power all along#meaning he WAS that perfect child that endeavor had been looking for but he cast him aside too soon to even let that power bloom early on#god i hate Endeavor so much#love the way hes written story and character wise like he IS really well written#but fuck him all the same lol
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really hate that the most pervasive fan-interpretation of isaac is (or at least used to be) "soft, sad, innocent puppy in love with scott". like in love with scott maybe sure. sad sure. but he's not SOFT or INNOCENT, he's a BITCH and he's MEAN and his automatic reaction to anyone he doesn't like is to try to fistfight and/or murder them. he has his soft moments but they are far overwhelmed by what a petty bitch he is. and to me thats like the peak of his character and why i love him as much as i do but so much of the fandom apparently saw him and threw all that out the window.
#like yall really just took all the flavor away from my boy#(this post isnt adressing anyone that follows me or even really anyone i've seen in the current teen wolf tumblr community)#(this is more about the subset of fans that i think are probably the same subset of fans that ship sterek and made all those edited#-screencaps whenever i look for teen wolf stuff on pinterest)#magpie thoughts#magpie's teen wolf experience#i now have a visceral reaction anytime i see isaac described as a puppy.#on top of everything else it also just feels kinda like infantilizing an abuse victim#like ''oh poor little pathetic baby never did a thing wrong in his life must protect from all harm''#like. NO#he did LOTS OF THINGS wrong. he was hungry for power and control after having basically none his whole life and it made him reckless and#-cruel (at least at first). he tried to kill people and relished in it. and even after he pledged eternal devotion to scott or whatever and#-switched sides he was still bitchy as all hell. and i LOVE HIM FOR IT#taking away all of that and reducing him to just some poor baby whose done no wrong and must be coddled feels like just. erasing his agency#idk man#magpie rants#i feel like i had a tag specifically for me being salty at some point but i dont rmr it
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My baby, here on earth
Showed me what my heart was worth
So, when it comes to be my turn
Could you shine it down here for them?
'Cause my love is mine, all mine
I love mine, mine, mine
Nothing in the world belongs to me
But my love mine, all mine
#love notes#mitski#my love mine all mine#my sweet baby down on earth#taught me love is true and pure#so keep an eye out for them#protect them from harm until the end
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The craziest thing about PTSD is thinking you're free from it and then getting triggered like 5 mins later by the most random thing.
#ptsd#it isn't always the big and obvious triggers that get you#sometimes it is some random child making a casual comment#that just happens to be very close to a comment that stuck with you from your time being abused when you were the same age as the kid#they didn't know and meant no harm but damn it really fucks you uo#like I could have been that child and kept that innocent and blind trust#i could have grown up still trusting in community leaders and authority figures to guide and protect me#but I didn't and now I have to live navigating a minefield while a part of me desperately wants to protect these children#despite knowing that not all churches are like the one I went to#a deep part of me wants to actively teach fear of these institutions but that would just be a self fulfilling prophecy right there#vent#i haven't had an event like that in almost A YEAR#i entered a church without any problems for the first time in 18 years just the other week#so I mean I had a valid reason to think I was finally able to fix things with my mind but I guess not#religion tw
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